Dispute Resolution Center Harris County, Texas

Mediation Matters September 2020

Given these challenging times, the DRC would like to first state that our thoughts are with every family and individual impacted by the ongoing Coronavirus outbreak. Businesses around the world are experiencing a tremendous evolution as they take steps to protect their clients and employees. Our top priority remains to provide the best alternative dispute resolution services for our community. We are truly grateful for the overwhelming response from our volunteers over the past several months. With their continuing

commitment to the DRC and willingness to try new mediation platforms, we have been able to provide virtual mediations in all of our programs.

While parties often experience stress during mediation due to the conflict they are addressing, another overriding layer may be present, caused by the anxiety and uncertainty surrounding current health and welfare concerns. As a result, emotions may be higher and a mediator might want to prepare for a potentially more impassioned session.

While emotions might make some parties or mediators uncomfortable, they are important to recognize. Often acknowledging emotions and allowing a party or parties to vent is the key to resolution. It is important for the parties to have the opportunity to be heard by each other and to be able to speak plainly and honestly about their feelings. This plain talk can often be loud and argumentative and can be difficult for the mediator to manage. Sometimes, what seems to be non-productive arguing, however, can be the cathartic event which makes settlement possible. The mediator should allow the parties to vent their emotions and frustrations to the greatest extent possible. The urge to move immediately to caucus when the mediation environment gets uncomfortable or heated should be avoided.

For the mediator, it is very important that no outward reaction is made to a party's emotional display. Such a reaction can jeopardize the mediator's all-important neutrality. Furthermore, the mediator retains the responsibility of maintaining the safety of the participants. While venting should be embraced and not feared, such a joint session should be ended if it appears that either or both parties are close to losing control of their actions. It always remains the mediator's responsibility to remain calm and maintain the quality of the proceedings.

Mediation in Challenging Times

87th Texas Legislative Session

2021 Virtual Annual Conference

February 19-20, 2021

87th Legislative Session Important Dates: Pre-Filing Legislation Begins - November 9, 2020 87th Legislature Convenes - January 12, 2021 Deadline for Filing Legislation - March 12, 2021 87th Legislature Adjourns - May 31, 2021

Houston Bar Association

In uncertain times, the members of the Houston Bar Association have always stepped up to help their fellow Houstonians. Many of our neighbors are out of work or homeless, or face family issues exacerbated by stay-home conditions. Now, more than ever, our community needs your help to provide legal advice and representation for those who cannot afford the equal justice that is a mission of this association and its ancillary organizations, particularly the Houston Volunteers Lawyers and the Houston Bar Foundation.

We will not be able to host our fall Harvest Celebration this year because of the pandemic, but Houston Bar Foundation funding for the pro bono work of our Houston Volunteer Lawyers is crucial. We will instead have a Harvest Campaign, and we ask you to continue to support HVL's work.

Click here to contribute online.

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Mediator Tip

Helpful Hints for using Zoom

for Remote Mediations

By Karl Folkens and Richard Hinson

• Be sure to have a computer with a fast processor and the best Internet speed your area offers. We have 1 gig service now in Florence, and it's well worth it. We

tweaked the firewall to get as much throughput as possible, and it's paying off in these online conferences and mediations. • Use a wired connection as your best option assuming your modem can handle the speed. A wireless connection is dependent upon your wireless access point/router bottleneck, and there may be a significant price to pay if you're choosing wireless over wired. • A 27" monitor gives you much more real estate to work with when more than four connections are videoing in. I did one yesterday with ten participants, and the larger monitor allowed for plenty of room for chats, managing breakout rooms, etc. • When folks log in, use the "rename" function to change what's displayed. "John Smith" looks better than "Johnny's iPhone." There's plenty of time as people are coming it to do that on the fly. • Learn how to create breakout rooms on the fly. When a lawyer asked to speak with an insured about a Tyger River demand in a private room, they're impressed when you can move them into their own private room instead of relegating them to calling each other on their cell phones. Same with "woodshed sessions" with lawyers. Take them into a separate, secure room, and have at it. • Get at least the Pro version of Zoom. The free version has fewer features and ends after 40 minutes! At $150/yr., the Pro price is well worth it, even if you only use it a few times a quarter. • Use the Calendar Invite feature to schedule. You can add to it (like we do with the TGRAs listed above),

and it will populate the date into the recipients' Calendar (in most cases) without their having to do any

manual importing.

• Offer up a "Dry Run" late in the day one day before the scheduled mediation. Invite the lawyers and

anyone else to sign up in a separate Calendar Invite at, say, 4:00 p.m. three days before the mediation. For

lawyers (and their legal assistants) new to online discussion platforms, such a session will go a long way to

helping them feel more at ease when the actual mediation begins. I had one lawyer who was very

tentative about the whole process go through such a dry run, and then she was helping the others on her

team during the actual session on how to navigate around.

Mediator Tip Continued...

• Buy a decent microphone. Most device-built-in microphones have a tunnel/well effect that can be better avoided with a good microphone. I use the Apogee MiC96k USB mic which I think has been discontinued. It sits below screen level, is portable, and was at the right price point. There are many others out there. Do some research on podcast mics, and you'll see what's available. It's money well-spent. Do some dry runs with your office staff, adult children, and anyone else you can corral from the first step of sending out the Calendar Invite to actually getting them into the Welcome Room, into the Main Room and into breakout rooms. • Learn how to Share Your Screen. You can display the Mediated Settlement Agreement and walk through it with everyone...Folks can even watch you type it up, and if you're doing "single text mediation", it's outstanding. Remember, you have to set it up before starting the Zoom app. If you're on a new computer and wait until the actual mediation, you'll have to sign out and sign back in to give your computer permission to Share. • Learn the nuances to renaming the Breakout Rooms. Breakout Rooms 1, 2 and 3 don't work very well when you're in the middle of herding cats. For multiple parties, I've found using the party side and last name of the team's lawyer as the best way: "Defendant - Jones' Room". An alternative is: "Allstate Room" or "Walmart Room", etc. • Learn the "Mute All" and "Unmute All" buttons, and how to quickly mute and unmute individual speakers. That will save time clicking each individual participant when a session begins. You'll find that keeping everyone muted except for the speaker and the person on-deck helps prevent feedback, tapping pens on desks, background jackhammers, and the like. • Be mindful of when to bring folks into the Main Meeting Room from the Waiting Room. Some may be offended if they see you've already been in the Main Meeting Room without them. Some don't let anyone in until everyone is in the Waiting Room. I like not letting anyone in until someone from the "other side" has also entered the Waiting Room. Find a comfortable practice. • Read through ALL your available meetings settings and learn each one. The app is very robust, and the more time you spend tweaking the settings, the better user experience you'll offer to others. There are several other platforms out there but Zoom appears to be the choice of online mediators for

the time being.

Karl Folkens received his Juris Doctor degree in law from the University of South Carolina School of Law in 1980. He is admitted to practice before all State and Federal Courts in South Carolina, the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit, and the Supreme Court of the United States.

Richard Hinson received his Juris Doctor degree in law from the University of South Carolina School of Law in 1990. He is admitted to practice before all State Courts in South Carolina, and is a Certified Mediator for the United States District Courts of South Carolina and a Certified Mediator and Arbitrator for the Supreme Court of South Carolina.

The Dance Of Opposites

By Kenneth Cloke

The Dance of Opposites, by Dr. Kenneth Cloke, will change your life. You will never view conflict the same way again. If you only read one more book on the theory & practice of conflict resolution, make it this one. Dr. Cloke's explorations in mediation, dialogue, and conflict resolution systems are revolutionary. Dr. Cloke quotes Albert Camus, "The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself." It is clear that his new vision for conflict resolution intends to do just that.

The chapter, "Elements of a New Vision," takes us on a journey toward a comprehensive conflict resolution system that constitutes a fundamental transformation in the way we disagree and resolve our differences as a species. His imperatives are inarguable as we look upon today's world to observe the senseless killing that is characteristic of so many cultures on our planet. It is not surprising that this book comes from the same person who founded Mediators Beyond Borders some years ago. "The Elements of the Language of Conflict," leads us into a clear understanding of why it may be inevitable that our species’ troubles frequently begin with thoughtless use of language. Misinformation, misunderstanding, confusion and incorrect interpretation is integral to the language of conflict that is a style of communication based on combat. We must rethink the whole essence of our ability to communicate. Dr. Cloke offers clear and convincing evidence of both the problem and a proposed solution that will be of immense interest to practicing attorneys who usually regard themselves as masters of communication. My experience is that most lawyers must continue to study skillful communication styles.

From language, Dr. Cloke moves into the narrative structure of conflict. His illustrative stories explain the "20 Ways to Transform Conflict." This chapter alone is worth the price of the book. He clearly sets forth the process for building bridges between the psychology of conflict, and the implications for the mediator who must learn to navigate the crucial distinctions that typically separate parties engaged in conflict.

Book Review

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The conflict resolution questions in Chapter Five, "10 Steps to Transcendence" in Chapter Six, and “Heartfelt Communications in Conflict Resolution Systems", discussed in Chapter Seven, are capable of forever altering our approach to working with families. Solutions come by way of study, insight, understanding, and awareness. The author provides clear, express, concrete tools to accomplish this.

About the Author:

Kenneth Cloke is Director of the Center for Dispute Resolution and a mediator, arbitrator, consultant and trainer, specializing in resolving complex multi-party conflicts internationally and in designing conflict resolution systems for organizations. Ken is a nationally recognized speaker and leader in the field of conflict resolution, and a published author of many books and journal articles. He was a co-founder of Mediators Beyond Borders.

Ken received a B.A. from the University of California; a J.D. from U.C.'s Boalt Law School; a Ph.D. from UCLA; an LLM from UCLA Law School; and has done

post-doctoral work at Yale Law School. He is a graduate of the National Judicial College in Reno, Nevada. His university teaching includes law, mediation, history and other social sciences at a number of colleges and universities including Southwestern University School of Law, Southern Methodist University, Pepperdine University School of Law, Antioch University, Occidental College, USC and UCLA.

About the Reviewer:

Ronald M. Supancic has practiced Family Law exclusively since 1970. Ron was admitted to the Supreme Court of the United States on October 15, 1975. He has been certified by the California Bar Association Board of Legal Specialization as a Family Law Specialist since the inception of that certification program in 1980.

Ron has handled hundreds of contested dissolutions, child custody cases, disputed post-marital proceedings, alimony cases, and prenuptial agreements. He has served as a Mediator and as a Judge Pro Tem with the Los Angeles

County Superior Court since 1976. Ron as been voted one of L.A.'s Super Lawyers by a jury of his peers in Los Angeles Magazine every year since 2006.

Book Review Continued...

Mediation Funnies

Changing the background on Zoom

1. At the bottom of the client screen, click the up arrow next to Stop Video.

2. Select Change Virtual Background.

3. In the Virtual Background tab, select one of Zoom’s defaults or upload your own image.

4. If you have a green screen set-up, you can select that option.

5. To add your own image or video, click the + icon to upload from your computer

“The passions are the same in every conflict, large or small. “

- Mason Cooley

Thank you to all our volunteers who took time to mediate with us in July and August!

Arntz, Jill Barahona, Kimberly Blanco, Ileana Blasingame, Chad Carroll, Giovanna Casavant, Geoff Coleman, LeRoy

DeSoto, David Disch, Annette Donovan, John Gammell, Bradley Guy, Brenda Haney, Michael Hawash, Michael Howard, Steven Kreider, Stephen Lawter, Dianne Lewis, Andrew Ligums, Ann Bradford Linden, Joanne Lunceford, Erin

Magdaleno, Anthony Mann, June

Marsh, Rebecca

McDonough, Shari McFarlane, Heather Melcher, John Michel, Tina Millenson, Barry Mims, Brian

Rokes, Susan Schein, Salomon Slaughter, Janice P. Smith, Cheryl Smith, Deidra Stagg, Nicole Stepp, Jad Stevens, Rhea Thompson, Darcy Tice, Marc Tuck, Ahmal Virene, Joe Wagner, Frederick Wells, Judy

Zamanian, Ali

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