having the "hard conversation"
DESCRIPTION
How do you engage colleagues in a way that makes clear your intention and preserves their sense of professionalism?TRANSCRIPT
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Having The Hard Conversation
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Keep the following in mind
We are leaders, not managers Lead with compassion & authority Timing is everything!
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Lead, Dont Manage
Inspiration
Productivity
Comp
lianc
e
The three behavior sets of leaders
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Lead, Dont Manage
Productivity
Comp
lianc
e
What might this look like in a team?
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Lead, Dont Manage
ProductivityWhat might this look like in a team?
Inspiration
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Lead, Dont Manage
Comp
lianc
e
What might this look like in a team?
Inspiration
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Lead, Dont Manage
Inspiration
Productivity
Comp
lianc
e
What might this look like in a team?
-
Lead, Dont Manage
Inspiration
Productivity
Comp
lianc
e
What might this look like in a team?
Where do you find yourself most as a leader of your PLC?
Benefits? Drawbacks?
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Lead with Compassion & Authority
Know your members Affirm their strengths Challenge their assumptions
For example:Do you agree that? Compassion Authority Compassion & Authority
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Timing Is Everything!
Never respond out of angerBUT.Dont let the moment escape
Seize the moment...just dont strangle it.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
-Ambrose Pierce
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How NOT to have the conversation
In written form (email/post it/Schoology) The indirect approach (the norm-killer) Avoiding the issue
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How to have the conversation Keep it SHORT! Do it SOON! Make it a two-way conversation Pick a strategic location Focus on growth (not shame) Follow-up: How can I help? Be consistent with all members Be HONEST! Be the first to opt in to this conversation
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Openers
- Ive noticed that...- Can you tell me about? - How are things going?- Is everything ok? Ive noticed that- How do you feel about..?
Other ideas?
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Scenarios--Time to Practice Team members are reluctant or actively resistant Attendance issues (scheduling a meeting during PLC time) A member does not loop in facilitators about upcoming PLC meetings Disengagement of a member(s): ex. checking email during a meeting Department chair interferes with PLC-related business The facilitators disagree on a topic/issue/process Facilitators styles dont mesh PLT time is being wasted One member tends to take over the group
Use names...be PEOPLE.
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What issues are you facing?
What issues are coming up in PLC?How might your co-facilitator help?How might Ted/Peyten help? What is your action plan?
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Wrapping up
Identify the issue Pick the right time and place Have a conversation with the person, not the
problem Offer your help Follow up
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...additional thoughts...
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Norm issuesFacilitator issues
Philosophical issues
Three types of issues
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Deal with the problem the right way
Norm problem Easiest to deal with Describe the behavior
I noticed that / Im concerned that Uncover the reason for the behavior
Why does it seem? Offer solutions, not criticism
What can we do to...?
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Deal with the problem the right way
Facilitator problem Start with the Venn Diagram
What am I doing/not doing? Where is my emphasis? Where should it be?
Seek help Can you help me with a problem?
Explain your thinking to your PLC It occurred to me that
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Deal with the problem the right way
Philosophical problem The hardest to deal with Often involves a pre-existing condition
entrenched/passionate opinion limiting belief
Uncover the opinion/belief Challenge, dont refute Give it time