Boston Women’s Health Collective. Our Bodies,

OurselvesChapter 8 Teach-back

Violence and AbuseBy Eric Phillips

Almost 1 in every 4 women are the victim of some level of domestic abuse or violence.

On average more than 3 women are murdered by their male partner in the U.S. alone

In the year 2000 intimate partner homicides accounted for 33.5% of women murdered in the U.S. and 4% for men.

Scary Statistics

“A man’s act of violence against a woman may seem to result from his individual psychological problems, or from sexual frustration, childhood abuse, unbearable life pressures, drug or alcohol abuse, or an innate urge toward aggression. All of these factors may contribute to the dynamic of violence. But these “reasons,” often given to explain or even justify violent actions, oversimplify a complex reality. “

This quote grabbed my attention, because as a man full of testosterone I have used outlets for aggression. Physical activities like football, mountain biking or snowboarding have all stimulated my adrenal needs and result in a calmness in my social interactions

Boston Women's Health Book Collective (2009). Our Bodies, Ourselves (Kindle Locations 3111-3114). Touchstone. Kindle Edition.

Understanding the Violence

Dominance exerted by men as a means of leveraging control over a situation with a spouse which is dissatisfying to them is a way of coping with an inability to be the master of their domain for some men.

This dominance which they believe is making their life better by allowing them to control it often does just the opposite.

However this dominance harms men because it prevents them from forming loving relationships with the women in their lives, and these types of relationships are important in reducing ones own stress levels.

Dominance benefits or hurts men?

Rape has been used as a tool for some men to exert their dominance over a particular race or class via the abuse of the women of that class for centuries.

This dominance has been exacerbated by periods of imperialism or slavery here in the U.S. and all over the world.

Racism, Classism, and Violence Towards Women

It seems that immigrant women in any country are more prone to be victims of abuse.

Often times a language barrier prevents women from reporting this abuse or being taken seriously.

These woman may be less likely to divulge such information because in cases of illegal stay within a country they fear being deported.

Dangers for Immigrant Women

“We usually experience violence as a private crisis. Many survivors feel isolated because of a lack of support or because sexuality and victimization are surrounded by shame in our culture. This creates a difficult set of reactions that may be experienced by women who have been raped, battered, sexually harassed, abused as children, robbed violently, or hurt by other forms of violence. Many of these reactions are common to all people who have experienced trauma, including soldiers in wartime, robbery victims, and friends and families of murdered loved ones.“

Boston Women's Health Book Collective (2009). Our Bodies, Ourselves (Kindle Locations 3161-3165). Touchstone. Kindle Edition.

Personal Reactions to Violence

Regardless of race, class level, or religious beliefs it is essential that we cultivate an environment where this type of violence experiences welcomed reporting.

This is crucial, because it eliminates a thought process of dominance without fear of reprisal.

Even if this fear of getting caught because of more vigilant action taken against offenders, or embracing of those who suffered the violence is only enough to prevent one attack it is an environment worth cultivating.

Life After an Attack Victims of violence

and abuse often suffer one or more of the following symptoms.

Self-blame and feelings of shame and guilt.

Fear, terror, and feeling unsafe. Anger and rage Anger turned inward. Depression and suicidal feelings. Substance abuse. Eating disorders . Physical symptoms . Self-harm . Grief and loss . Loss of control, powerlessness

Isolation . Flashbacks and nightmares . Sensory triggers . Dissociation . Changes in sexuality and intimacy . Spiritual crisis .

Life after being victimized is an uphill battle is which victory cannot be achieved over night if you are fortunate enough to get passed the violence.

For many women it is a process which requires thought, reflection, and sharing with people who are close to you.

It is important to find and hold on to any independence, or sense of power you find in you life following an assault.

If you have been victimized it is important to remind yourself that you are not the person to blame, rather that the perpetrator is the abuser.

Regaining Your Life

Domestic violence can often be prevented if separation occurs in the early stages of a relationship when the first signs of abuse begin to show up.

It is important not to confuse fighting, arguments, or animosity for domestic abuse. Couples often disagree simply because we are individuals.

Domestic violence is not the disagreement it is rather a feeling of repression and a constant fear of an argument because of the consequences faced for voicing one’s own opinion.

Partner Violence

It is important to increase your own safety if you find yourself in an abusive relationship while still in the relationship so that you can prepare for an exit.

Carry contacts of people that can help (police, religious groups, battered women's shelters, sympathetic friends) and be sure the abuser is unable to discover them.

Find a place you can leave to which would avoid giving chase from your abuser.

If you have children find a place you can bring you kids where your abuser would not be able to reach them or instinctively look for you to go to.

Contingency

Rape is any sexual assault committed against someone’s will. Men often use it in order to establish dominance over the victim. Almost every state defines it as penetration of the victim

through the vagina, anus, or mouth by any object the attacker wields including but not limited to their own body parts.

If you have been raped, it is critical for your physical and emotional health that you seek medical attention as soon as possible. (or you attacker has left)

Rape

If you ever find yourself in a position where you are sexually abused or taken advantage of at an institution it is important that you seek immediate attention.

This attention can be medical or conciliatory.

Do not use the school or institutions councilors because they are administers of the school or institution and may try to protect the institution from legal damages.

Campus Rape

While everybody in this class is certainly under agreement that domestic violence needs to be routed out and ended. What can we do better to stop it at the community level? Are there any practices not being implemented or services unavailable which could help prevent abuse in our community?

Open Ended Question