HEALING ADDICTION

Desires are like fire. Thoughts and actions are like firewood and gasoline; the more that you think about and act on desires the more the fire will be fed. That is what is meant by the expression, “You are adding fuel to the fire.” If you want the fire to go out, take the firewood away instead of adding more to the fire. That is the only way to truly extinguish the fire.

That means that you have to learn how to discipline your mind. Then, rather than acting upon the unwanted desire, you can analyze and dissolve it. Thought is very powerful and it can be used to help or to harm you. When you focus your thoughts on a negative habit, that habit gets reinforced. How many times have you said, “Ok, this is the last chocolate.” Until the box is empty everything is a last chocolate! Because every time you take one more, the mind wants another more. You are renewing the desire.

All the ancient scriptures say that desires should not be allowed to get renewed and strengthened by fulfilling them. We need to take the firewood away instead of adding more. Every time you fulfill a desire, you are unwittingly making it stronger. That is what gives the desire life: it survives only because you are fulfilling it. That's why that last chocolate never comes. You say you don't want anymore but it never happens that way. There's no “last time.” It goes on and on and on. In many areas of our lives we overdo it. Many people find it hard to be moderate in sleeping, eating, in sexual activity, and so on.

It is not that you should not enjoy life or have no desires or pleasure at all. But there is a fine line between enjoyment and enslavement. Between making choices that are going to help you or are going to harm you in the long run. So, the major question to ask yourself is, “Am I the master of my mind and body? Am I in control or am I at the mercy of my mind, body, and senses? Am I a slave to my own desires? That enslavement is what you call in modern terms, “addiction.” Any thought, any desire, any action that enslaves you is an addiction.

Do you see the distinction here between enjoying something in a moderate and balanced way and being dragged here and there by your desires. We hear a lot about addiction nowadays and there are 12-step programs for everything: alcoholics, shopaholics, workaholics, drug addicts, codependents, sexaholics, and so on. What does this mean? We do not have the proper understanding of what it means to live a balanced life. In the modern age, we see a lot of excess and extravagance all around us and there is not much emphasis placed on disciplining the mind and senses. So, we just let them run here and there.

Imagine that your children want to make demands for endless amounts of toys, candy, money, etc. Would you allow that? If you do, you will have a big problem because the less you discipline your children, the more confused and out of control they become. Wouldn’t you tell your own

child, “No, I'm not going to give you what you want! It's not good for you. These are the reasons.” Yet, we don’t do that for our own minds.

You have to treat your mind as a your own child. You explain the pros and cons of the behaviors you are trying to discipline. You are the one in charge, never forget that. Imagine if your children think they are in charge? What will happen? They will wreak havoc in your life. That is the same that happens with our inner children. They are to be loved and appreciated and at the same time to be taught where the limitations are and who is ultimately in charge: you as the adult.

You can train your mind in the same fashion. Sit down and talk to your own mind as you would to your own children. “Okay mind. You are looking for a cigarette, you want it. How many times did you get it before? What happened? How often you said, ‘That is the last time.’ Where is the guarantee that this will be the last time. And every time you did that what happened? How did you feel afterwards? Terrible. So? You want to feel again the same? Question your mind and your desires in this way.

How much energy do you lose every time you indulge yourself in negative habits? There are so many ill effects that affect your body and your mind over time. Your seemingly small indulgence may seem inconsequential at the time. But it is giving room for a pathway to be cut in your mind. It gives a wrong signal to the mind that it can have its own way whether this is helpful or harmful to you over the long term. How many times you might have said, “Well, just this one time.” That is okay if you have that kind of control. But, if you continue to allow harmful things, they will develop into habits. And then habits turn into unhealthy lifestyles. So, it is the best thing to nip it in the bud.

If you are able to train your mind, you will become strong; you will be amazed to see the inner strength that you did not know you had. How good you will feel about yourself. This will be a real boost to your self-esteem. So, always think of the the positive side. “If I discipline my mind, educate my mind, it will obey me well. But if I give in, it will only cause me further problems, like allowing a naughty child to continue to be out of control. And be sure to reinforce the positive. When your mind is being calm and cooperative, admire and appreciate it! This will give a lot of positive reinforcement. When you establish this kind of relationship with your own mind, you will be super happy. Then, occasionally you can give alittle extra rope because you know you are in control.

You should never be too rough with your mind. That is not going to help you much. In a way, that is the opposite end of discipline. Either we go one way and indulge every whim and fancy or we become overly controlled and repressed. I am not talking about repression or self-abuse. You have to learn how to handle your mind in a very loving, compassionate, and yet firm way. I can give the example about the people who train horses. They are called, “horse whisperers” and they have a special way of communicating with wild or difficult horses. That is the kind of relationship you can cultivate with your own mind.

Some people have a tendency to judge themselves too harshly. We have the expression, “God loves the sinner, but not the sin.” Everyone makes mistakes, falls down, has problems and struggles. But the idea is to not let these problems have you. Learn to recognize that obstacles and challenges are tests that draw out your inner capabilities. Then, you will learn to have more compassion toward yourself. There is no one who is all bad in God’s eyes. Because, we are all children of the Mother.

Everything, even the so-called bad things, have good in them because everything teaches you a lesson; everything provides you with an experience and opportunity to grow. Often bad things can help you more because they give you apainful experience. Then you learn a lesson. “Oh, I did something wrong, and it created pain so I should not do it again.” You grow by living.

* Begin hereAddiction I would like to say a few words about the addiction itself because I am alittle addicted to saying something. Well, what you call addiction is asort of bondage. You got caught with that. Something that got added intoyour life. Addiction. An add diction. That's what you call "addiction." That you are attached to. As the doctor beautifully diagnosed it. Thescriptures go to the extent of saying -- even with God do not haveaddiction. Attachment. Why should anybody say that? Even with God,don't. Is the addiction that bad? Or are there two kinds of addictions? The addiction that we are talking about is the addiction that you depend onto make yourself happy. Even with God if you want something to happen foryourself so that you can be happy, that's an addiction undesirable. Personal reasons. Even to go to the extent of saying, "I want to berealized. I want to experience God." That's also a form of addiction. Because you have forgotten that you have that already in you, what you'relooking for. So Patanjali calls it as the ignorance is the root cause ofaddiction. Buddha also says the same thing. Avidya chettram teresham. Ignorance is the root cause. Ignorance of what? Ignorance of your owntrue nature. Your true nature is happiness without depending on anything. You are happy. That's your true nature. And the doctor used very oftenthe word "mirror, mirror, mirror." Why, because you are happy andsometimes you see your happiness seems to be reflecting on something andthen you immediately think, "Ahh, there is happiness I could see. Good, ifI have it I can be always happy." See? You forget that it is your own happiness reflecting on that. That forgetting is what you call ignorance. You didn't realize it's your own happiness reflecting. So, you see the shadow or the reflection of your happiness and say, "Ahh, there it is. I would like to have it because Iwant to be happy." And then you don't easily get that to be happy. You

have to work hard to be happy. And even after you get it you have toprotect it to be happy. You don't want to lose it to be happy. See? Allthe other problems come around because you are depending on something. That's why even with God if you are looking for your happiness by doingsomething by praying, by worshipping or by studying this and that, you willnot get it. It sounds like a total contradiction from what we even teach. "Oh, we have to practice japa regularly. We have to go regularly into LOTUS and meditate, get up certaintime, take care of this, take care of that, practice, practice, practice." And then here I seem to be saying even your practice is an addiction. Youwill not be happy always. You can very well see that. Some peoplepractice regularly and if they miss one day they go crazy. "Oh, I didn'tmeditate today! The whole day is gone." But then what shall we do? Have this kind of somewhat better safe addiction to get rid of the unsafe addictions. And then once you get ridof all the unsafe addictions which will disturb your body and mind morethen it is easy for you to get rid of the safe addictions also. Unfortunately the mind is like that. The doctor talked about tentacles. But then when did the tentacles lose their grasping things? When shetotally with one-pointed mind concentrated on that patient, she seemed tohave lost grip of everything else. That is the clue. But then again whathappened to that patient? The boy? Because she dropped everything andconcentrated so much on that boy, when that boy died I heard a great cry and yelling and sobbing on the telephone forhalf an hour. That is why that kind of addiction is not a safe addiction. You have to pick up something that will not hurt you even if you lose it. Or when you want to drop it it should just get dropped by itself. That'swhere the practices come. Yoga practices God comes only there. You justmake use of that God and then get rid of that God. Because even that hasto be good riddance God riddance. Because otherwise even that will affect your life, your happiness. Thiruvalluvar in his Thirukkural beautifully presents this in the veryfirst chapter itself. "..." "Hold tight, or get addicted to, the one whohas no addiction at all. God." Why do you want to do that? So that youcan get rid of other addictions. "..." Beautiful Tamil. "Hold, or desirethe feet of the desireless one so that you can get rid of all yourdesires." A long time back, somewhere in 1959, while I was giving a talkin Hong Kong one of the Zen monk got up and started questioning me, "Swami,you are contradicting yourself." I said, "What is that?" "You said weshould be totally desireless. That means you want me to desire to bedesireless, is it not?" You want to be wantless? Is it not acontradiction? You want to get rid of wants. The mind functions only thatway. The mind has to hold onto something. In a way you trick the mind. When the mind tries to go, run around, holding this and then catching and,"I want, I want," "That is a nice, better thing, much nicer, safer thing.

Come on, pick up this one." Then create a little taste in that. Once themind finds a little taste in that new, better, safer one, and then itbegins to concentrate on that more and more, all the unsafe addictions,desires, drop out. Then when everything is drop out, all that remains isthat safe addiction. Then you realize, "Well, I got rid of everything. Why do you want to hold onto this now anymore? The job is over. I don'tprobably need you anymore. Because of holding you I got rid of all theother holdings, so I want to drop you." Fine, okay, goodbye, finish it.Because it's not going to hold you€ then. In the normal rung in our daily life we just go and hold something andthen very soon we realize that it's hurting you and you want to give up. They don't want to give you up then. They hold you. It's almost like thefellow who saw a blanket, a roll of blanket being carried away by theriver, a nice, beautiful fur. He jumped into the water, swam close tothat. But unfortunately the current was more swift. He realized that,"No, no. If I go a little more further inside I may lose my life." Butstill he was greedy. Somehow he went and caught hold of it but he couldn'tpull it back to the shore. Then he said, "Okay, now I don't want itanymore. I better save myself." He tried to drop it and he found out theblanket was holding him. And he said, "What is this? Even if I leaveevery hold it's holding me. What is it?" Then he slowly pushed around,struggling to see what it is. It was a black bear. All rolled up and gotin the flood. It was literally floating. He saw a beautiful fur. Now the bear thought that by holding him it can save itself. And thatis how we get into problems. We first think that, "Oh, it will make mebeautiful. It will make me nice." You go and buy a nice, expensive dress,well ironed tuxedos and then when you come for a party you don't even feellike sitting because it creases up. So, are you using the tuxedo or thetuxedo is using you now? That's how we go. In the beginning they are bythemselves. Once you go and catch them even though you found it- it'screating a lot of problem to you when you want to give up they don't wantto give you. That is why don't hold onto to something that will hold youon later on. So if you could hold onto something that whenever you don'twant to hold anymore it should just leave you comfortably. And who can dothat? God only can do that. All the rest is going to hold you on.

From Challenges 10/6/90

So, to develop the attitude of service would become easy if you really get burnt enough in your business dealings. Yes. As I very often say who would want to turn away from running after these worldly things and to look for God is the only one who ultimately says, "I am sick and tired of the whole show." We do occasionally say that, but we don't keep that in mind. "I am sick and tired. I am going to run to an ashram!" When you come into the ashram you are sick and tired out there. But the moment you come in, it lasts only a few days and then you begin to get into other things until you

become sick and tired of the ashram also. Business, business, business everywhere, everywhere. Temporary vairagya we call it. It is all right. That is what the life is for. All our adversities, all our difficulties, all our pains are there to open

NATURE OF DESIREPurpose of desire; rebirthexperiences are in the mental body. It's the mind that experiences, not thebody. You may be sitting in a nice comfortable car driving or going forsight seeing. Your car is not seeing everything. You are the one who isseeing everything. Likewise the body doesn't experience anything. It lookslike the body experiences. No. Ultimately through the body the mind. Evenwhen you see a sight, a pleasant eight. It's not the eyes that enjoy it. Itis the mind enjoys the sight through the eyes. Like the camera takingpictures. But the camera doesn't enjoy the picture. It simply takes thepicture. The picture taker enjoys it. So you live that astral life also forsometime until your karma you can call it decides to bring another body sothat you can experience something with the physical body. Because thephysical body is not at all necessary if you don't have any desire toexperience anything that needs a physical body. So, in other words, it isyou who created a physical body for you, by your own desires. You wanted toexperience something with this kind of body so the body is given to you oreven not given to you, your own desires created a body for you. Becausewithout this body you cannot fulfill those desires. Like we are usingvarious utensils, various cutlery. You use a fork, you use a knife, you usea spoon. Likewise the bodies change according to your desires. So the timelimit cannot be precisely as it. It all depends upon your karma which isagain your desires. Bala Otto: Can you work out karma in an astral body?Sure Gurudev: Oh yes, yes, yes, arms. Sure. through astral body also.Because certain karmas need not have the physical body. You can still workout some of your karmsa through astral bodioa. And sometimes if youconsciously and willfully destroy your body, like committing suicide, thenafter you lose the body you realize that" it's too late, I shouldn't havedone that." Because you think that by committing suicide you can saveyourself from the problem but it's not so. It's almost like on a fastrunning car you don't want to be in the car, you jump out. But it createsmore problems. And then you reallse, "It's too late. How can I fulfill mydesires without the body. I need a body." You get stranded and then youlook for a body. Unfortunately your karma, you're not yet ready for havinga body of your own. Then you hitchhike. Ant then even hitchhiking is onlyyou show the thumbs if somebody cares to pick you, you get in. But somepeople, no. You can stand right in front of the car, stop the car, get intotheir car by force. You can even show a gun, "Come on, you get out. I'mgoing to use your car. You go to ha the back seat, I'm going to drive the

car." Exactly like that you can force into somebody body. And of course noteverybody will give their body to you. Only some weak people, if you arethat strong and if they are that weak you can forcefully get into theirbody. And that's what you call possessing. Such souls who mostly lose theirbody premature and then they realize that they cannot live without anotherbody, they try to look for a weaker person. And then they try to get intotheir body. Temporarily they put the owner of the body into the back seat.They use the body as long as they want or a whenever they want. And thensometimes they say, 'Hello, I'm not going to do anything. You may takeover." You go back seat and he uses his body. Two souls in the same body.And that's terrible. Not only you are not enjoying, you are creatingproblem to other person also. That is whey committing suicide is the worstkarma. It neither benefits you nor benefits the other person. So one hasto accept, "Whatever it is, yes, it comes, I will purge it out." Let it bea natural thing. goal?

SUPPORT GROUP

Gurudev: Beautiful question, yes. It's true. Certain habits, because youhave developed them, they find a comfortable home in you and they want tolive in that home. But one day the truth dawns and say, "No, I don't thinkyou should be here around me because you are not helpful to me' you arepoisoning my life, you are disturbing my peace. I want to be peaceful, Iwant to be healthy. So you better go away." Then the same friends turn tobe enemies. You want to, "No! What will you do? I'm used to staying here,I'm going to stay here. You can't kick me out." Then you have to be alsostubborn. First of all you should be convinced that, "Yes, coffee thisrelationship didn't bring me health and happiness. I tried. Maybe mymistake, not the mistake of coffee or the relationship. That means I am notready to handle it. So by still being involved in that I am going to make amess of my life. So I have to strengthen myself. I'm not hating themethere's nothing to be hated. But for now I am weak, I cannot handle itanymore. Also until I become strong, stay away.' And that's not enough.Why? Because you are all alone. So immediately take refuge in a companywhere you can get help. Still you are living in your own apartment with allkinds of coffee bottles. If you really want to achieve, the best thing isto have satsanga, the good company. Many, many things could be easilyachieved if only you put yourself in the right company. Even without youreffort things can be achieved. Come and join the ashram but don't even haveclose, friendly relationship with anybody who sneaks a cup of coffee evenhere. Beware of them. Yes. The company is important. Ninety percent of youreffort becomes easy if you have the right company. And, suppose you cannotdo that. If you want to try all by yourself, stay away from any of thosethings. And, keep practicing yoga. Asana, pranayama. Because it is the

caffeine that has already found a place in your system wants more coffee.It's not you. So you have to eliminate all that. As long as they are therethey will call for more. Then that's what you call craving. That means youhave to be very regular in your practice, asana, pranayama) meditation. Andeven for that you need good company otherwise you won't be able to do itall by yourself. It's a very uphill task. It's easy to roll down. You caneasily catch all the undesirable habits. Nobody needs to teach you that.But to get out and go the other way is very difficult. Imagine how the hillclimbers, the mountain climbers are doing. They are tying each other with arope, helping each other. That's what, teamwork. They cannot do it by themselves. It's an uphill task. Even the environment in which youdeveloped these habits is no good. It will be reminding you of all that.Because they still, even in your apartment you still have that samevibrations. You have charged the vibrations with coffee. The bottle neednot be there, but the vibration is there. The minute you go inautomatically you will be thinking of it. You have to change the vibration.But one thing if you really want it you will be able to get out of thathabit. The real want should be there. Then certainly you will do everythingthat's necessary. But if it's a superficial "Oh I'll try." No. Half-heartedeffort will not bring much result. You will go one step and slip two steps.How many people even after years of living in a protected environment whenthey go out they get caught. Our old habits are that powerful. One has tokeep an eye on it, very vigilant about that. That's what. Once you becomethe master of it, then you can enjoy that without any attachments And youwon't even enjoy that without attach_ meet. It doesn't matter whether itcomes or goes. They don't affect you. But until then you should be reallycareful and don't even think that, "Oh, now I am strong enough." Very soonthe mind will say, "Oh' you are strong, you can go back." All right, if youever make threat mistake, go back, the minute you get another cup, run backhere. Yes. At least you know, "Yes, I am not strong enough." That's whattraining means.

Sept 27, 1984Patanjali on pleasure/pain, equanimity.

For and against, good and bad. And of course the slokas 54 to 72 are thevery important slokas. The Stitata pragnya lakshanam which we havedescribed earlier. The summary of that in one word is the man of steadywisdom is the one who retains the equanimity under all situations. Nothing,nothing, nothing shakes that person. Even though sometimes he appears to be

shaken he probably acts as if he is shaken to educate others. Butpersonally he doesn't get shaken. Stitta pragnya. Steady consciousness. Andthe entire slokas from 54 to 72 explains this in detail. How between thedualities you are balanced. Pleasure, pain, profit, loss, praise, blame.All the ups and downs. And that is yoga. Equanimity is yoga. Samatwam yoga uchyate. Now we go to the thirdchapter, Sloka number 10. Where Prajapati are you? Yagnya. He talks aboutYagnya. The prajapati is the word used here for the Creator. Praja meansthe created. Pati, the Lord. The Lord of the created is the Creator.Prajay literally means citizen. You are the Praja of the country. But hereit doesn't mean only human beings. Everything that exists, visible and invisible. They are all prajas of the universe. And the Pati, the Lord, theOne who caused the Creation. When He created everything the Prajapati Hemainly told the men, that seems to be always the problem. Scriptures, gods,words, everything seems to be addressed to mankind. I don't know why. WhenGod created the beautiful garden of Eden, He didn't say a word to all thoseplants, the fruits and the flowers and the trees and the animals. He couldhave said at least something to the dogs and cats. No. He just createdthem, allowed them to play around. He didn't even tell anything to thesnake, the scorpion. He could have said, "Don't sting anybody." No, Hedidn't say anything. Only when He created the man He opened His mouth andsaid, "My little boy, don't eat the fruit." Why is it? It's because in thehuman level we have been given the freedom, choice to choose the right orwrong. So naturally there should be a guidance also. So the guidance hereaccording to this sloka, the Prjapati says, "Well, mankind, I have createdyou and I am giving you the sacrifice. Another meaning would be offering. Offering is sacrifice, again. By this you propagate yourself. This yagnyaor the sacrifice be your milking cow. Of course it doesn't mean just theregular cow. Cow is representation of everything that you want you get.According to the Hindu mythology there is a cow known as Kamadenu.Kamadenu. Kama - desire. Denu - giver. Whatever you want you get it. Ifyou have Kamadenu at your home all your desires are fulfilled. You simplywant it, you got it. Do we have such a kamadenu? No? No. We do. It's notthat some where in a sort of mythological cow somewhere, no. Everybody hasbeen given a kamadenu. A boon-giving. There is another tree by known as?kapagavriksham?. Vriksha is tree. Kapaga tree. A boon-giving tree. In away I feel that this is the tree that has been got transformed into aChristmas tree. See? You have a tree and all the gifts are under the tree.You simply go there, pick up whatever you want. And the Hindu scripturescall it as "kapagavriksham.? That means a boon-giving tree. You simply go there, think Avvaiyar what you want, you get it. And the old lady Avvaiyar

once said "Kapgaga tiksharandu kangjarangai kitadale mute vaitachadavenal," she says. "Even after having gone and sat under that Kapaga treeif you are asking for a bitter fruit that's your destiny." It's ready togive everything but it won't give you without your asking, you have to ask. And you should know what to ask. Once a fellow went into the jungleand got really very tired and he found a nice, beautiful tree and he justwent there and sat there but the ground was very thorny. He couldn't evenlie down anywhere. He said, "Ahh, what a pity. Nice shady tree, I can'teven lay myself anywhere. How nice if I have a little, small cot." Theminute he thought that there was a cot. He found himself sitting on a cot."Boy, I got a cot." He lay down. "Oh, comfortable cot. But I'm reallyhungry. Having roamed around in the forest I didn't have anything to eat.How about ant least something to eat. A banana." Immediately there was abunch of banana there. He couldn't believe his eyes, "What is this? A bunchof banana. Boy, it looks, whatever I want I can get here. How about a nice,gourmet cooking." There was a nice plateful of food fruits and nice,delicious dishes, pudding, desserts. He really ate sumptuously. "It wouldbe nice if there is somebody to massage my foot to put me to sleep." There,there was already a beautiful angel-like person there massaging his foot."Boy, boy, boy, boy. It looks like whatever I am thinking I am getting. NowI had a comfortable bed, good, sumptuous meal, and somebody to massage myfeet. Suppose while I get the massage I sleep and if all of a sudden fromthe jungle a tiger comes what will happen?" Immediately he heard a roar ofa tiger came, tore him into pieces. What do you do with that kind ofpeople? He was under a Kapaga vriksha. Whatever he wanted he got. But lookat his insanity. Sometimes people do that. They can get everything but theydon't know what to get, what to ask for. That is why sacrifice was given byPrajapati. "Don't look for anything for yourself. Let your life be asacrifice. Yagnya, if you use this yagnya which I give you you'll beprospering." For a person to prosper the most important thing, the one andonly thing I could say is living a dedicated life. His entire life shouldbe a sacrifice. That means renounce all your personal interest, personaldesires. Live for the sake of others. Sacrifice is the law of life. Now,why should this be told only to the mankind? Because all other species arealready doing it. You don't have to tell them. A tree never grows itselfand brings forth fruit for itself.

April 1, 1983Because the Upanishads at one point says, "Even the desire to get liberatedis a bondage." Remember that. Because it's a desire. Who desires? Yourmind. So you are still functioning within the mind. Though you are lookingfor liberation you are still in the clutches of the mind. So even that is abondage. So when all the desires cease you're already free then. So it isour desires that bind us. Our past impressions, present desires, the future

thoughts. In a way all these things are functioning through these chakras.The chakras are nothing but different levels of the mental functioning. Theconsciousness functions through all these seats, centers, if you want tocall it. Below the heart chakra it's mostly very lower level lower levelthoughts, sensual thoughts. And then above the anagata, spiritual thoughts.But still they are thoughts. Don't forget that. So we have to first get ridof the lower thoughts and then by thinking higher thoughts. We heardRamakrishna using a quotation of applying soap which is a sort ofgood-smelling, good-looking, paid for dirt. You pay for it. Why? Because

And the best wayto enjoy life if you really want to enjoy life do not have any attachmentwith anything. Because attachment never brings you joy, it brings yousuffering later on. It may begin with a little pleasure, but end up withmore pain. Attachment can never, never, never bring you the joy.