healing and family systems 3 · 2005-12-19 · healing and family spiritual/emotional systems...
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Healing and Family Spiritual/Emotional Systems
Healing implies a view of wholeness.
Working from Jesus' revelation of
God on the cross as the self-giving
love of Father (I), Son (Thou) and
Holy Spirit (We), this article sees
human wholeness as spiritual growth
toward trinitarian love. Five stages
of growth appear from salvation his-
tory: initial faith (trust), familial faith
(conventional law morality), indi-
viduating faith (individually free rela-
tion to God), communitarian faith
(individuated community) and mis-
sion faith (overflowing communitar-
ian love). The family system theories
of Murray Bowen and Ivan Boszor-
menyi-Nagy are then examined to fill
out the human implications of this
community model and are critiqued
theologically. The question of how
generations are healed is then
brought to Scripture. In OT and NT a
pattern emerges of acknowledging
one's tradition, breaking through to
an individual relationship to God's
Spirit, and reappropriating one's
family and tradition in a spiritually
creative way. This pattern then
guides suggestions for healing prayer
to build trust, to diagnose one's fam-
ily system and reappropriate it, to
deepen one's individual commitment
to God's Spirit, and renew one's fam-
ily and community relationships in
the Spirit.
New trends in theology and
psychotherapy have an effect on how
one sees the process of healing and
the power of healing prayer. Until re-
cently, both theology and therapy
concentrated on the single individual
with the social context simply pre-
supposed. Recent trends in both
areas see the person as essentially
conditioned by interaction in a social
system which affects both sickness
and health. I came to this view
theologically through an interper-
sonal view of Trinity and the Holy
VOLUME 5. NUMBER 1
Spirit which has led me to a corre-
sponding view of spiritual develop-
ment and healing.1 Contact with the
work of the family therapists Murray
Bowen,2 and Ivan Boszormenyi-
Nagy3 has shown similar dynamics in
family emotional systems. The
"illnesses" of their patients are seen
as functional disorders of the whole
family's interdependent emotional
system. I have been helped by these
therapists to ask more precise
theological questions, and in turn, my
theology has helped show some limi-
tations of their systems. Insights
from both have provided guidelines
for healing prayer.
In this paper, I first sketch the view
of social spiritual development that
grew out of my study of Trinity and
the Holy Spirit. I then present paral-
lel insights of Bowen and Nagy and
allow the two views to illumine each
other. With the social perspective
achieved, I will then examine family
systems in Scripture to see how the
new creation in Christ brings healing.
Finally I will apply these insights to
guidelines for the practice of healing
prayer regarding family spiritual/
emotional systems.
SOCIAL RELIGIOUS GROWTH
AND FAMILY SYSTEMS
A Trinitarian View of Social
Religious Development The most obvious realities are
often most easily overlooked. In our
individualistic age the problem has
seemed to be how to open the indi-
vidual to others. From recent interac-
tional points of view we should rather
ask how we ever thought ourselves
separate from others. Without a
community of language we would
have no self-consciousness at all,
without a community of love we
would die. The complex fact is both
insights (social system and individual
self) are true. As human persons we
10
are essentially interpersonal but we
are also individually responsible.
Without a "thou" there could be no
"I" but the I and thou are both free
and distinct. This is the human anal-
ogy that led Heribert Muhlen to de-
velop his interpersonal view of the
Trinity.4 An "I" only speaks if there
is a "Thou" to respond. The two are
necessary yet distinct. Further, as a
relationship deepens the difference
between the two is not lost but actu-
ally increases in each one's aware-
ness. However, as their relationship
grows, the two may join to produce a
common effect (a project, a work of
art, or more personally a child). Then
they form a "We," a joint personal
relation distinct from a mutual I-Thou
relation. Without a "Thou" there
would be no conscious “I"; without
two or more working together, no
conscious "We."
From this human interpersonal ex-
perience of I-Thou-We, Muhlen de-
veloped an analogous way to under-
stand the triune God as revealed in
Jesus and the Holy Spirit, which in
turn helps us to understand ourselves
as called to creative interindepend-
ence in God. The key is to look at
Jesus' death as more than the result
of our sin, as more even than a free
and perfect human act of self-
surrender to God. It is also a
privileged revelation of who God is.
Jesus said "whoever has seen me has
seen the Father" (Jn. 14:8), and John
sees in the Son's "I AM" (Jn. 8:58) a
mysterious reflection of the Father's
"I AM WHO I AM" (Ex. 3:14).
Thus, in the Son's free self-gift on the
cross (Jn. 10:18), we can see a reflec-
tion of his Father who freely gives the
Son up for us (Rom. 8:12). This
mutual surrender to the Other reveals
a divine I-Thou relationship whose
freeing difference is so great that the
Son can experience human aban-
donment (Mk. 15:34)5 while still
maintaining a relationship of trust.
Robert T. Sears, S.J., Ph.D.
Journal of Christian Healing
This points to an interpersonal dis-
tinctiveness in God within the infinite
unity of self-giving love.
Further, in John's view the mo-
ment of Jesus' dying is the moment
when he "hands over" his Spirit (Jn.
19:30), the "other Paraclete" (Jn.
14:16). Thus, the Holy Spirit, who is
working in Jesus' relationship to the
Father all along, is set free or "sent"
from the joint self-giving love of
Father and Son.6 The Spirit is, as it
were, the expression in person of the
joint love of Father and Son, a divine
We, and this inner-trinitarian func-
tion of the Spirit is manifested in His
effects on the early Christians. They
became "one heart and one mind"
(Acts 4:32), opened to an intimate
"Abba'' relation to the Father (Rom.
8:15; Gal. 4:6) and a personal relation
to Jesus as "Lord" (1 Cor. 12:3), with
each gifted for the common good (1
Cor. 12:7). Thus, the Spirit appears
as the community building person of
the Trinity, and effects creative
community among Christians.
If God is a community of self-
giving love and we are called in grace
to be transformed into God's image,
then the norm of our spiritual growth
is to be transformed into such a crea-
tive community.7 As I studied God's
dealings with the Israelites, I was led
to see certain stages through which
they were brought in preparation for
their full transformation in Jesus and
the Spirit, stages which are still true
for individuals and communities
today since we always fall short of the
full spiritual development revealed in
Jesus.
Five such stages stand out. The
first I call "initial faith." I derive its
qualities from the theology of the
Yahwist (an author of the OT recog-
nized by his constant use of
"Yahweh" for God) and from the
"First Principle and Foundation" of
St. Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises. A
central Yahwist text is Yahweh's
promise to Abraham of many off-
spring and a choice land if he leaves
the home of his fathers and follows
His call (Gn. 12:1-5). He asks only for
obedient trust. Conversely, we see
from the Yahwist's story of Adam
and Eve (Gn. 2:4-3:34) that one loses
the Promised Land (Paradise) and a
unified fruitful progeny (see Cain and
Abel, etc.) by disobedience and the
decision to choose independence
symbolized by eating from the tree of
the knowledge of good and evil.
Thus, covenant trust is what counts
in this stage; morality is of secondary
importance (as we see from Abra-
ham's "white lie" to Pharaoh in Gn.
12:10-20). We are made to "praise,
reverence, and serve God" St. Ig-
natius says, "and by this means to
save our souls" (i.e., to "live").
The second stage I call "familial
faith." Much as when children grow
in the family they learn "rules" and
"expectations," so Israel learned
from their experience of the Kings'
intermarrying with other nations and
abandoning Yahweh that a more ex-
clusive, explicit choice of Yahweh
was needed. A prophetic theology
grew up outside Jerusalem that was
critical of the kingdom, that of the
Elohist (who uses El for god in gen-
eral and saves Yahweh for explicit
choice from Moses onwards) and the
Deuteronomist.8
This theology
preached a "conditional covenant"
rather than the unconditional prom-
ise such as David and his followers
received from Nathan (2 Sm. 7:8-16).
Yahweh would be "their God" only
if they kept his commands and ordi-
nances. They had to choose Yahweh
above all other gods, to love Him
with all their heart (Dt. 6:5) and sac-
rifice all else (as Abraham sacrificed
Isaac, Gn. 22:1-18). Yahweh was
holy and transcendent. Relation to
Him was mediated through authority
figures (like Moses), and through
specific norms (the Law), and cen-
I was led to see certain stages through which they were brought in preparation for their full transformation in Jesus and the Spirit.
tered in a specific place (the temple).
This "law and order" mentality must
seem very familiar to us. It stresses
active choice and cooperation within
traditional understanding as condi-
tion for Yahweh's faithfulness to
them. Only it did not work. The Is-
raelites did not keep the Law and that
conditional covenant was abrogated
(see Jer. 31:32, etc.). It served to de-
velop cooperation within conven-
tional norms but ultimately they, and
we, were unwilling and unable to re-
main true to Yahweh's ordinances.
With the breakdown of this "con-
ventional" faith, there is a break-
through of what I call "individuating
faith." In the exilic prophets
(Ezechiel, Jeremiah, Second Isaiah)
we see a quite new approach to the
individual. No longer will the proverb
be said: "The fathers have eaten
green grapes and their children's
teeth are set on edge" (Ez. 18:2ff) for
all lives, fathers and sons, belong to
Yahweh and each is responsible for
his own decision. We glimpse a stress
on individual responsibility despite
past sinful patterns. This might imply
innocent suffering like that of
Jeremiah, and writers of wisdom, like
the author of the book of Job, will
struggle with that paradox.9 But more
essentially, it is a breakthrough of a
spiritual bonding to Yahweh that will
empower them to keep His com-
mands (see Ez. 36:26-7 "I will put my
Spirit within you and make you live
by my statutes"). The initiative has
moved from their efforts to God's gift
and God is now clearly seen as "one
God."10
11
Stages are not as clear cut as writ-
ing about them may suggest. There
are shifts from one to another
perspective. In many ways the resto-
ration writers treated "individuating
faith" from the point of view of the
more moralistic second stage and in-
creased their efforts to be individu-
ally "just." Thus, the next advance,
which I call "communitarian faith" is
first actualized in Jesus. In this stage
one relates to others not just to "be-
long," as in "familial faith," but to
creatively give life to others. The key
to such creative love is the willing-
ness not just to suffer out of faithful
witness to Yahweh (as Job and the
OT martyrs), but also to suffer that
others might grow. Jesus forgave
enemies and called his followers to do
likewise. He reached out to non-
believers and sinners. He specifically
chose to relate to those who were
avoided by the "just" Pharisees who
lived a second stage morality, for "it
is the sick who need the physician,
not the well" (Mt. 9:12). This willing-
ness to "die to self for the other" is
what we see as the dynamics of a
growing I-Thou relationship. Jesus is
here laying the foundation for the
type of Spirit-empowered commun-
ity that will become possible with the
release of His Spirit.
Finally, I call the fifth stage "mis-
sion faith," and I distinguish it much
as We is distinct from I-Thou. When
interpersonal community grows to
the point of achieving a common
creativity that overflows with life for
others it experiences a distinct stage
of growth. The early Christian com-
munity experienced this creative
unity on Pentecost and was empow-
ered to witness love to the world
whether or not it accepted. Parents
experience it when they are empow-
ered with a self-giving, freeing love
for their children. Christian com-
munities experience it when their
love goes beyond community
dynamics to a gratuitous, no-
strings-attached love outside its
bounds. It is this overflowing creativ-
ity that reveals its ground beyond it-
self in God's unconditional self-
giving love.
Looking back on the five stages,
we find several characteristics. First,
they are cumulative for each is in-
cluded yet transcended and perfected
in the succeeding stages. Initial faith
or trust in God remains the founda-
tion of growth but is expanded to fam-
ilial relationships in the second stage,
individualized in the third, made
creative of community in the fourth
and reveals God's faithful suffering
love in the world in the fifth. Simi-
larly, individuating faith is not a total
break from familial faith but an inte-
grating transformation of those famil-
ial relationships.
Secondly, development is cyclical.
Every new call to growth (such as the
call to individuating faith in the Exile)
throws the person or group back to
the beginning. A deeper, more
healed, trust is needed and a deeper
healing of familial relationships for
the individual to open to the new in-
dividual freedom demanded. In fact,
one's initial call by God may be
through a later stage—such as a call
to compassion for the world's poor
(mission faith) or a call to a personal
relationship to God (which may be
individuating faith)—but eventually
one will need healing for the earlier
stages if growth is to be solid and not
lead to "burn out." The "burn out"
of some social activists (mission?)
who have no spiritual community
support is a good example. The solid
development of each stage requires a
healing of preceding stages. There is
an on-going spiral of deepening.
Finally, religious life looks differ-
ent from the perspective of each
stage. Take suffering as an example.
In the first and second stages, suffer-
ing is seen as punishment for "sin."
In the third stage it is "innocent suf-
fering" which stems from the conflict
between one's authentic choice and
the expectations of others. In the
fourth stage persons bear the suffer-
ings of others for the others’ growth,
and in the fifth stage suffering reveals
the glory of God's self-giving love.
One moves from a view that wants to
get rid of suffering, which sees it as a
sign of separation from God (as the
OT view of sickness), to a trans-
formed view of suffering as revela-
tory of God's redemptive love—
God's glory (as John's view of Jesus
on the cross). One's view depends on
one's stage of development.11One
cannot force others to see things
one's own way unless they have been
brought by God to that stage of de-
velopment. The initiative is God's.
Ours is simply to diagnose and
cooperate.
Figure 1 might help the visually
oriented readers to summarize my
position. We see that the full de-
velopment (Paradigm) is first fully
revealed in Jesus' "Hour"—his
moment of dying and sending the
Spirit—and all else is rightly seen
only as a contribution to that mo-
ment. The transition between each
stage is itself a sort of "dying-rising"
experience, a progressive "conver-
sion" to ever greater assimilation to
Trinitarian Love as I-Thou-We re-
vealed in history through Jesus and
the Sending of the Spirit.
The Contribution of Murray Bowen While neither Murray Bowen nor
Ivan Nagy are theologians, and
neither mentions healing prayer,
their therapeutic insights help us un-
derstand emotional growth in a way
that sometimes fills out and comple-
ments theology, sometimes calling
for a corrective from theology. The
dialogue with their views helped me
clarify the human implications of my
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1 12
STAGES OF SPIRITUAL AND FAITH DEVELOPMENT
Figure 1. Stages of faith development in relation to view of suffering.
stages, especially the stage of "fami-
lial faith," and challenged me to new
theological questions. Four aspects
of Bowen's theory were especially
helpful.
First of all, he attends to a whole
emotional system and not just to in-
dividuals within it. He found that
when anyone in the family emotional
system began to make more individu-
ally responsible choices he or she
would be "attacked" by the others.
"You're just being selfish," is a pre-
dictable first reaction, followed,
perhaps, by a period of "denying
anything has happened," then by
anger, or a threat to walk out or harm
oneself. Under this pressure, the in-
dividually responsible person is often
intimidated into submission, and may
need many tries to follow through
with the new decision and then will be
able to act only with support. If one
person does sustain a choice, then
another may follow suit and decide
for him or herself, which will then
initiate another systemic reaction.
Lasting progress, then, is not just an
individual affair but a slow dialectical
change in the whole system to more
personally "owned" responses. This
"systemic" viewpoint shows that
growth in individual responsibility
and freedom occurs within a context
of ongoing relationship. One de-
velops from "embeddedness" in the
13
family emotional system, not through
total separation (which is emotionally
impossible), but through differen-
tiation within an ongoing relationship.12
Secondly, Bowen distinguished
several "degrees" of differentiation
which are roughly analogous to the
stages I have discerned. He used
words like "solid-self" and "pseudo-
self" to distinguish autonomy of
thinking-feeling decision-making from
a sort of "emotional fusion'' with one's
family system.
He distinguished four main types:
1) People of "low differentiation."
These spend all their energy seeking
approval and harmonious relation-
ship, or failing that "they can spend
their lives in withdrawal or fighting
the relationship system from which
they fail to win approval."13 They
grow up as appendages of their par-
ents or work relationships, or the
whole family becomes an appendage
of society (through delinquency,
mental illness, etc.).
2) People of "moderate differ-
entiation." These have interiorized
conventional norms. They have freed
some energy for goal directed activ-
ity, but most goes into "loving and
being loved and seeking approval
from others."14 Lacking a solid-self
conviction about the world, they use
pseudo-self statements such as "the
rule says . . ." or "science has
proved. . . ," taking information out
of context to make their points. They
may master academic, impersonal
knowledge but in personal relation-
ships they are influenced more or less
unreflectively from outside—reading
moods, expressions, postures to gain
an ideal close relationship, only to
recoil from closeness with distancing
and alienation. With excess stress,
their functioning may resemble that
of the low level. This type parallels
rather closely my "familial faith"
stage which is conventional and
guided by accepted tradition and law,
but a "law" is more explicitly formu-
lated than the conventional norms of
these people.
3) People of "moderate to good
differentiation." These have enough
autonomy to hold their own under
systemic pressure. They are not
panic struck by emotional closeness
and hence "can participate fully in
emotional events knowing that they
can extricate themselves with logical
reasoning when the need arises."15
Their autonomy permits them to
allow their children to develop au-
tonomous selves without placing
undue pressure on them to conform.
They can function well with other
people or alone as the situation re-
quires. This level shows parallels on
the interhuman level to my "indi-
viduating faith" in that it presup-
poses some individual freedom in
relationship.
4) Finally, people of "high differ-
entiation." Bowen considers these
more hypothetical than real. He uses
this category to make general com-
ments about differentiation. It is not
"rugged individualism," which is a
"pretend" posture of those who are
struggling against systemic fusion.
The differentiated person is always
aware of others and the relationship
system around him or her. Therapy is
not directed to separation but to dif-
ferentiation within the system, to
helping members find their own
center of free decision and maintain-
ing it while challenging the system to
emerge from its fused state.16
Bowen's "type" descriptions show
the stress that developing individual
freedom brings to the family emo-
tional system and how long-lasting
change implies a change in the whole
system. On the other hand, his stress
on individual freedom leaves him
with little to say about his final type
(which roughly parallels my fourth
and fifth stages of spiritual growth),
and he hardly mentions the contribu-
tion lower "types" make to more dif-
ferentiated development. Even so,
his observation that persons need
support (a sort of healed "family") in
order to follow through on individu-
ally responsible decisions parallels in
psychodynamics my theological
point that a healing of stage two (fami-
lial faith) is needed for solid de-
velopment of individuating faith, for
the stages are cumulative as I noted.
A third aspect of Bowen's theory
has to do with intergenerational dy-
namics. The less differentiated the
family the more inherited patterns
will be handed down unreflectively
from one generation to the next. In
the first place, people tend toward marry
others of similar differentiation (low,
moderate, good, etc.) since a more
differentiated person would be too
threatening and a less differentiated
person would not be "interesting"
enough. When both partners have
weak "solid selves," their lack of
awareness causes them to withdraw,
to cling (become dominated), or to
fight in cyclical fashion instead of
working out their differences. What
remains unconscious, especially
when the family is under pressure,
"triangles" others into the emotional
interaction. An unhappy wife might
unburden her anger at her husband on
her daughter or son, or a daughter
might be drawn to fulfill the emo-
tional needs of her father which are
unmet by his wife. The "triangled"
child has little emotional space for his
or her own self-discovery, and be-
comes absorbed into the implied
viewpoint of the system ("men can-
not be trusted," or "mothers are to
be supported," etc.). He or she then
marries someone who corresponds to
this family pattern, and they in turn
hand it on to their children. This, of
course, is a very simplified look at a
complex process which may stretch
over many generations with as many
different "patterns" as there are
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1 14
families. Children who are not as
"triangled" may actually grow in dif-
ferentiation by a certain amount
(Bowen estimates that the variation
among family members would be
about 10% more or less differ-
entiated), or there may be a gradual
degeneration which could result in
severe loss of "solid self" or
psychosis (Bowen estimated that
would take seven generations or
more). To "unravel" a multi-
generational pattern, a diagram of
one's family system can help to iden-
tify past traumas (suicides, divorces,
mental breakdowns, etc.) and de-
fense patterns (denial, absorption/
dominance, conflict/closeness) that
are repeated and to see where the
emotional closeness or antagonism
has been.17 The healing process aims,
then, at increasing the member's abil-
ity to become aware of the patterns
they are living in order to make more
individually responsible decisions.
When we look at patterning across
generations we get some insight into
the dynamics of how such patterns
are inevitably handed down unless
individuals become aware of them
and make new decisions that coun-
teract them. The theological question
is also raised as to how healing can
intervene in the process, which I will
address later in this paper.
Finally, Bowen developed a way of
dealing with family emotional sys-
tems through becoming a "potential
triangle" without losing one's
awareness of what is going on. To be
successful in this, however, the
therapist must have "worked
through" the blind spots in his or her
own family of origin. Otherwise he
will become "triangled" in areas of
personal unconsciousness. Bowen
found that therapists made the most
progress in this method by working
within their own family of origin, that
is, by gaining reflective freedom in
relationship in their own families.
Such personal experience enables
them to be alert to "fused" responses
in their clients' emotional systems
(such as one person doing all the talk-
ing for the other, using "we" expres-
sions when "I" is meant, put downs,
etc.). In treating a family, Bowen en-
courages the therapist to speak to one
family member in the presence of the
other and then to the other, avoiding
panic or fighting that occurs when the
two "fused" persons talk to each
other.18 The therapist's involvement
with each helps each see his/her
partner from an objective point of
view, and models the kind of "freeing
understanding and decision making"
that is the goal of the therapeutic
process.
The less differentiated the family the more inherited patterns will be handed down unreflectively from one generation to the next.
From Bowen's process we learn
that, humanly speaking, no one can
help another grow who has not gone
through that growth. It is from the
more developed vantage point that
one can accurately detect the im-
passes of previous levels and help
people move beyond them.
Bowen provides us with an overall
framework for seeing the family emo-
tional system around certain primary
variables: solid or pseudo-self, dif-
ferentiation in continuing relation-
ship, triangling, multigenerational
patterning, fusion and the steps
gradually to free individuals in
families. Compared with my theolog-
ical stages, on the other hand, in em-
phasizing the liberative aspects of dif-
ferentiation Bowen neglects to point
out the positive qualities that are
handed on and need to be gratefully
received from previous generations
and through stages of lesser differ-
entiation, and he does not progress
toward a goal of building creative
community. Ivan Boszormenyi-
Nagy helps us understand each of
these points, even though theology
must look beyond his view also to
God.
The Contribution of Ivan Nagy Nagy has a highly complex theory
in his own right that deserves careful
study.19 Here I have selected only
two aspects that relate to my present
interest.
First, Nagy clarifies the motivation
between parents and children by
pointing out "hidden loyalties" in a
child's unwillingness to go against the
norms of his or her family emotional
system. The child has received life
and is existentially indebted to his
parents whether or not he/she
chooses to acknowledge the in-
debtedness.20 One's choice not to go
against the values and norms of one's
family stems from existential
gratitude, not just from fear of retalia-
tion. If one does separate without
acknowledging one's debt, guilt
grows that gradually undermines
one's individual choice and draws
one back into fusion. One gets last-
ingly free only when that debt is
gratefully acknowledged within one's
individual decision. This human in-
sight helps illumine the conversion
process of my stages. Each stage
calls for a grateful acknowledgement
of the gift of preceding stages in the
very act of transcending them.
A second related point that Nagy
develops at length21 is that relation-
ships are not simply given or imposed
but mutually chosen, albeit with less
than full consciousness. A parent
who has been inadequately parented
herself may draw a child into prema-
ture responsibility (as Bowen noted)
15
but that child too gains much needed
appreciation by choosing to corre-
spond to this role even though she is
thereby deprived of parenting for
herself. The unconscious bond is
formed by mutual choice and one
must acknowledge one's own re-
sponsibility and the values one seeks
in order to move beyond to a new
choice. The principle of mutual selec-
tion is operative in every relationship
(such as dominator and victim "fall-
ing in love," or leader and disciple
feeling a mutual "fascination," or in
more ordinary examples with more
conscious selectivity). In each case,
what one is seeking unconsciously
("stern father," "savior," etc.) must
be recognized consciously for the un-
conscious tie to be released in free-
dom and not simply severed. One can
move beyond when one acknowl-
edges the value sought in the previ-
ous choice. This is a valuable human
insight for my stages also but what
my theological view adds is to show
that in every choice one is ultimately
seeking God (a divine parenting, an
absolute grounding) and our inner re-
ligious depths will not be freed to
move beyond till this desire is ac-
knowledged and redirected to the
true God revealed in Jesus.
Two Personal Examples I have observed that my theologi-
cal stages are cumulative. Succeed-
ing stages build on preceding stages
raising them to a new integration.
Bowen pointed out that humanly
speaking, this occurs across genera-
tions, and Nagy added that an exis-
tential indebtedness to one's parents
(and forebears?) must be acknowl-
edged in order to move beyond them
to a new personal decision. Two
examples of choosing one's parents
can help show the implications of
these insights before we pursue the
question of intergenerational healing
in Scripture.
The first was a woman 1 met at a
healing retreat. She was on the verge
of divorce and felt she "didn't know
who she was." My prayer for her had
some effect but seemed to miss the
key. The next day I was homilizing on
authority and I used the example of
one's parents. Authority is com-
monly seen as "giving commands,"
but its root meaning (from "author")
is one who gives life. Parents have
Her mother's life had dis- gusted her but in rejecting her, she was also rejecting the life she had received through her.
"authority" because we receive life
through them and since God is the
one who chooses our parents for us,
we open to life when we choose our
parents. I was unacquainted with
Nagy at the time but the recognition
of indebtedness is what is seen here in
a theological light. It was only an
example, but after Mass she came
over to me beaming. "I realized when
you said that, that I had never chosen
my mother." Her mother's life had
disgusted her but in rejecting her, she
was also rejecting the life she had re-
ceived through her. Since we receive
our identity through relationships, in
truth "she didn't know who she
was." We prayed that she might
choose her mother and I felt new life
was given her. However, since I had
to leave, I could not confirm my
sense. In choosing the parent God
gave her, she was freed to move
beyond.
A second example happened to
me. It was the year of my father's
final illness. Shortly before he passed
away, my spiritual director raised the
question for me: "Have you ever
chosen your father?" I had accepted
him, but my director wanted more.
Had I ever chosen him from all other
possible fathers to be my father,
since he is the one God chose for me.
Here again we see Nagy's human in-
sight into our existential indebted-
ness included yet deepened to a
theological indebtedness. It was a
large order but I felt it was right. We
prayed that God's choice of my father
would be in me, that I would choose
explicitly. Surprisingly, I awoke
three days later realizing I had a
deeper commitment to my Jesuit order.
Somehow, in choosing the tradition
and values handed to me by my
father, I was freed to choose the tra-
dition I was committed to more fully.
A further aspect of this experience is
that my father died peacefully—and
rather unexpectedly — shortly af-
terwards. It seemed to me my choos-
ing him had healed his need to be
"honored" as a father and freed him
to go. If so, the healing went both
ways. As I was freed to stop resisting
and to choose him, he also was freed
to let go of life and pass it on.
Much more could be said about
family systems theory but perhaps
enough has been presented to raise
the more specific Biblical-theological
question of how the Old and New
Testament view the individual in rela-
tion to family and nation, and how
the new covenant in Jesus heals those
relationships.
THE HEALING OF
GENERATIONS IN SCRIPTURE Each new frame of reference raises
new theological questions. The
specific question we are led to
emanating from the family system
theory concerns the interdependence
between generations and how we are
freed from negative patterns for new
life in Christ. We will consider first
the Old Testament view, grounded in
"corporate personality," then move
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1 16
to Jesus and the New Testament be-
fore drawing implications for healing
prayer.
Family Relationships in the
Old Testament Corporate personality: The Israel-
ite did not see an individual separate
from the community, nor the com-
munity separate from the individuals
that comprised it. Both were seen to-
gether without confusion or separa-
tion. This is a much different per-
spective from our tendency to see the
individual as solely responsible for
him or herself but it is quite close to
the family systems perspective we
have been considering. H. Wheeler
Robinson termed this perspective
"corporate personality" and he
noted four characteristics comprising
it which show a kinship to my
analysis of family systems:22 1) It ex-
tends beyond the present to both past
and future. The patriarchs Abraham,
Isaac and Jacob are abiding unifying
presences in the nation that carries on
their name, honor and life. Jacob says
"I am to be gathered unto my
kindred" as he ages (Gn. 4:21), and
Amos can speak of his contem-
poraries as "the whole family which I
brought up out of the land of Egypt''
(Am. 3:1). Ancestors and contem-
poraries are seen as one family. 2)
The unity of individual and commun-
ity is so realistically conceived that it
can be concentrated in a single repre-
sentative figure, as when Goliath
challenges Israel through their repre-
sentative and his whole people suffer
defeat in his defeat (1 Kg. 17:8).23
And Hosea's wife Gomer is the na-
tion for which she in her unfaithful-
ness, is image and representative
(Hos. 2).24 This is more than a moral
bond. It is as real as blood ties, an
unconscious instinctive bonding. 3)
There is a "fluid" passing from indi-
vidual to collective and vice versa, as
though each was seen in the other.
The "suffering servant" of Second
Isaiah is now singular, now plural,
such that exegetes are divided
whether it refers to all Israel or a par-
ticular representative.25 4) Lest we
think this is merely a mark of a primi-
tive mentality where the king is the
people, it is still present, and even
more clearly, in the later prophets
who stress individual responsibility.
Ezechiel proclaims individual re-
tribution (Ez. 18;34:10-20), but he it is
who sees regeneration as not only in-
dividual but of the whole people (Ez.
36:24-32, 37). This concept especially
affects Israel's attitude toward the
king (whose weal and woe indicates
the same for the people) and the pro-
phet (who stands before Yahweh on
behalf of the people). The NT under-
stands Jesus in this light, as both in-
dividual and source of a people
whose fate is realistically grounded in
their union with him — a Second
Adam.
The OT formula: "Unto four gen-
erations '': Against the background of
corporate personality the repeated
OT formula is to be understood: "I
the Lord your God am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers
upon the children to the third and
fourth generation but showing stead-
fast love to thousands of those who
love me and keep my command-
ments." (See Ex. 20:5-6; 34:6-8; Nm.
14:18; Dt. 5:1-10). This notion is
especially important for understand-
ing the transference of generational
patterns. In the pre-exilic texts the
family head was seen in his offspring,
not only for blessing as with Abraham
and his offspring (Gn. 12:1-3; 22:15-
18) but also for punishment as when
David took a census of the people and
all Israel was punished (2 Kgs.
24:15-17).26 Even where personal re-
sponsibility is affirmed, the theme of
the "sins of the father" is still em-
phasized. However, it is important to
note that the offspring are said to re-
peat the sins of their father. Both
have chosen. What the fathers began
is continued in the sons choices. In
the minds of the priestly redactors
there exists a veritable identity be-
tween different generations: "Those
of you who survive in the lands of
their enemies will waste away for
their own and their father's guilt"
(Lev. 26:31). Hence they are to con-
fess also their fathers' sins (Lev.
26:40). Ezechiel, who stresses indi-
vidual responsibility, still has
Yahweh say: "They (the children of
Israel) and their fathers have revolted
against me to this very day" (Ez.
2:3). And Jeremiah can say:
"Yahweh repays the father's guilt,
even into the lap of their sons who
follow" (Jer. 32:18). We see here the
basis for the OT view of offspring
continuing Adam's sin, which Paul
develops in Rom. 5:12-21.
The formula, however, not only
notes sins being handed down that
need to be repented but stresses even
more the beneficial effects of
"fathers." The "first born" was the
special recipient of the father's bless-
ing, the special bearer of the father's
"name." The frequency of gene-
alogies shows the importance the
Semitic mind put on continuity of
tradition. In Deuteronomy the people
are to "Go and occupy the land I
swore to your fathers, Abraham,
Isaac, and Jacob, I would give to
them and to their descendants" (Dt.
1:8; 6:10; 9:5,27; 34:4). God sees the
fathers and their descendants as
though in one glance. His love "for
your fathers" led him to choose
"you, their descendents . . ." (Dt.
10:15). He extends his blessing to all.
The command of the Decalogue to
"honor your father and your mother
so that you may have a long life in the
land that Yahweh your God has given
you" (Ex. 20:21) reflects this promise
of blessing. It is the first command-
ment with a promise connected to it
17
Children are conditioned
by their parents' choices but they also choose, and so on down the generations.
rather than a theological explanation,
as Eph. 6:2 observes.27 The word
"honor" indicates a wide, positive
interpretation: to "obey" but also
"prize highly" (Prov. 4:8), "show re-
spect," "glorify and exalt." It also has
nuances of caring for and showing
affection (Ps. 91:15). It is frequently
used to describe the proper response
to God and is akin to worship (Ps.
86:9). The parallel command in Lev.
19:3 actually uses the term "fear,
give reverence to" which is other-
wise reserved for God.28 There is a
rich blessing from God for those who
respect the divine order by honoring
their parents.
Recognizing individual responsi-
bility: The exile released for Israel a
new sense of individual responsibil-
ity, as I noted above in presenting my
stages. Ezechiel has Yahweh abro-
gate the saying about the fathers eat-
ing sour grapes and setting the chil-
dren's teeth on edge (Ez. 18). Each is
rewarded or punished according to
his/her own choices. Ez. 14:12-23 cor-
rects the view that Yahweh is "un-
just" for punishing the land even
though there are just to be found
there. The just will save only them-
selves and the land will be punished
but a remnant of righteousness will be
left to reveal Yahweh's righteous-
ness. Even Dt. 7:10 and 24:16 affirm
individual responsibility despite pre-
viously citing the formula about the
guilt of the fathers. What is affirmed
is the freedom to repent. Only the one
who sins will be punished.
This casts a clearer light on the
formula, which is still affirmed even
in these writers. It was not to be un-
derstood as only one choice—the
father's—but the sons and offspring
also have sinned by following his
example. Paul later shows the same
understanding regarding the sin of
Adam. "Sin came into the world
through one man and death through
sin ... and so death spread to all men
because all men sinned" (Rom. 5:12).
As we saw with Nagy's theory, the
handing on of patterns implies mutual
acquiescence. This is now affirmed
of our relation to God. Children are
conditioned by their parents' choices
but they also choose, and so on down
the generations. God's response to
this network of sin was to affirm the
possibility of individual repentance.
To enable that He promises to take
over himself (see Ez. 34), to put his
Spirit in their hearts and make them
keep his commands (Ez. 36:24-28;
Jer. 31:31-34). Individual freedom is
grounded in a personal relationship
with God, who is our "divine ances-
tor" we might say with Christian
hindsight.
Family Relationships in the
New Testament The OT expresses God's revela-
tion in various ways according to the
development of its author. Ps. 58:7-
12 (and others) can pray for ven-
geance on enemies, whereas Jesus
says to forgive enemies. Or death is
initially seen as a punishment for sin
(see Dt.) whereas later Wisdom liter-
ature sees it as a reward for the inno-
cent (Wisd. 3:1-12; 4:7-19). Ulti-
mately, it is only through Jesus that
the right light is cast on the message
of the OT. He fulfills the OT at the
same time as going beyond it (much
like our stages!). What importance,
then, do family relationships have in
the new Christian order? I will con-
sider first how Jesus breaks with his
tradition, then how he nevertheless is
portrayed as carrying on his people's
history, and finally how he becomes
"head" of a renewed people in the
Spirit. Finally, I will discuss how we
carry on Jesus' way.
Jesus' break with his tradition: The
earliest NT writings emphasize
Jesus' break with family and tradition
and his breakthrough to a new es-
chatological relationship to God in
the Spirit. Paul de-emphasizes Jesus'
life "according to the flesh" (2 Cor.
5:16) though he admits he united with
our sinful flesh (2 Cor. 5:21) under the
Law (Gal. 4:4) to redeem those under
the law. What interests him is that he
became "life-giving Spirit" (1 Cor.
15:45) enabling us to have new life in
the Spirit. Similarly, the earliest
Gospel tradition portrays Jesus'
family as unbelieving (see Mk. 3:20-
21, 31-35) and affirms the need to
"leave father, mother, sisters, etc."
for the sake of the Kingdom (Mk.
10:28-30). The source common to
Matthew and Luke, which may be
older than Mark, stresses separation
from relationships even more in-
tensely. Jesus came "not to bring
peace but the sword ... to set a man
against his father, a daughter against
her mother . . ." (Mt. 10:34-46; Lk.
12:51-53), and unless one hates
father, mothers, etc. (Lk. 14:26 even
adds "wife") he cannot be my disci-
ple" (Mt. 10:37; Lk. 14:26-7). Both
Matthew and Luke portray Jesus'
virginal conception as a "new begin-
ning" through the creative power of
the Spirit, and Jesus' individuated re-
lationship to the Father ultimately
leads to his separation from even
close ties of relationships when he is
abandoned on the cross. He is called
to a total centering on God.
Jesus' link to his people: Despite
this marked discontinuity, the Gospel
tradition gradually reemphasizes
Jesus' continuity with his history.
This is especially marked in Matthew
and Luke whose communities in
transition needed to have their roots
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1 18
reaffirmed.29 In the infancy narra-
tives both the genealogies and the
figures themselves indicate a positive
building on the OT. Matthew's
genealogy traces Jesus from
Abraham through David to post-exilic
dynastic descent up to Joseph—
portraying Jesus in the Messianic
line. The Messiah—a King, Prophet,
Priest—was from the people for the
people, and Matthew's frequent allu-
sions to OT prophecies emphasize
that connection. Mary he sees in the
line of extraordinary women (like
Rahab, Bathsheba, Ruth, Tamar)
whom God had chosen in the mes-
sianic line. Luke's genealogy (3:23-
38) takes Jesus' origins all the way to
Adam, the Son of God, in order to
show that the universality of Christ's
call and mission springs from God
himself. Similarly, the figures like
Joseph (the "just man" like the OT
Joseph and his dreams) and Elizabeth
and Zechariah, the faithful followers
of the law, link Jesus to the best of the
OT.
The temptations of Jesus in
Matthew and Luke bring out his rela-
tionship to his people most clearly.
Each expands the brief passage in
Mark (1:12-13) in light of their theol-
ogy. Matthew sees Jesus as a new
Moses, Priest, and King. As Moses
he is tempted to feed the people in the
desert, as the priestly "son of God,"
to show a miraculous sign from the
temple pinnacle, and as king, to reign
from the mountain top (where in fact
Matthew concludes Jesus' ministry:
Mt. 28:16-20). In each case, he
counteracts the temptation from his
tradition by quoting Deuteronomy as
perfect embodiment of the law of full
submission to the Father. Luke's ac-
count points more to the person of
Jesus and what kind of Messiah he
will be,30 but even here he sums up in
himself the promise to Israel of a true
prophet, king, and priest. Jesus bears
the weight of His tradition, but re-
sponds in a new way in total fidelity
to his Father.
Jesus as "head" of a new people:
Finally, Jesus emerges from his
people freed from familial and na-
tional ties in order to bring those who
believe in him to a new life in the
Spirit. Paul's letters are already very
clear about this. Those who believe in
Jesus are freed from the law to a new
community in the Spirit of Jesus, the
"new Adam," a "life-giving Spirit"
(1 Cor. 15:45). Matthew concludes
his Gospel with Jesus claiming that
"all power in heaven and earth has
been given to me" and sending his
disciples to the whole world to teach all
to believe. For Luke, Jesus is the
"new Adam" (see his genealogy),
who in entering his kingdom with the
Father sends the Spirit to create a
new people with him as Lord (see
Acts 2:32-36). And finally, John is
perhaps most explicit: Jesus is the
"Word" who was with the Father
from the beginning, and to all who
believe in him he gave power to be-
come "children of God" (Jn. 1:12).
John also reflects the theme of new
Adam and new Eve in his use of
"woman" for Mary and her becom-
ing mother of the disciple Jesus loved
under the cross (Jn. 19:25-27). Jesus'
(and our) freeing from familial rela-
tionships is not to lead to isolation but
to creativity in bringing about a new
community in the Spirit.
Our continuing Jesus' way: It need
hardly be said that Jesus' new begin-
ning is not for him alone but for all His
followers. In fact, his life is written in
light of the needs of the communities
of the authors. They also must sepa-
rate from natural ties (Mt. 10:37 etc.)
which must have been very strong
from their Jewish heritage. They
must be baptized in the Spirit as Jesus
and centered on the Father (the NT
baptismal accounts are models for
Christian initiation). Yet this is not to
isolate Christians but to renew their
relationships in Jesus' Spirit. As
Jesus submitted to his parents after
staying behind in the temple (Lk.
2:41-52) so Christians are to renew
relationships in the Spirit. The
"household rules" in the Epistles
(Col. 3:18-4:1; Eph. 5:21-6:9; 1 Pet.
2:13-3:7) show that respect for one's
parents remains in the NT but is rein-
terpreted in light of Jesus' life as
"mutual subordination."31
Parents
are also not to anger their children. In
Matthew, Jesus quotes the OT com-
mand "Honor your father and your
mother" (Mt. 15:4) against the
Pharisees and scribes who would ab-
rogate it because of their laws. Even
so, following him meant separation
from merely family ties in order to
enter his spiritual family through
faith. "Who is my mother and my
brothers? . . . Anyone who does the
will of God . . ." (Mk. 3:33-35/par.;
Mk. 12:46-50; Lk. 8:19-21). John
again is most explicit. We have to be
"born again" (Jn. 3:5), to remain in
Jesus (Jn. 15:7ff, etc.) despite inevi-
table conflict with "the world" (Jn.
15:18ff, etc.), and then we will "bear
fruit" in other believers (Jn. 15:18ff).
The repeated pattern is separation
from natural ties, new centering in
Jesus' Spirit, and renewal of spiritual
community. That same pattern mod-
els the process of spiritual growth and
healing.
Mary as exemplar of this "new
way": When Jesus' life is looked at
interpersonally the role of his mother
becomes all the more important. Our
unconscious attitudes toward inti-
macy and relationships are rooted in
parental relationships. As the early
church matured and their view of
Jesus as divine began to prevail, their
recognition of Mary's role as model
Christian believer grew. In Luke she
is portrayed as one who says "yes"
to the Spirit, who ponders the mean-
ing of Jesus' life (Lk. 2:19, 51) and is
blessed because of her faith (Lk.
19
Similarly, those in Christ
may be called to intercede for their parents' spiritual life, not just gratefully re- ceive life from them.
1:42; 11:27-8) and remains with the
disciples praying for the gift of the
Spirit at Pentecost (Acts 1:14). In
John she moves from human expecta-
tions to faith at Cana and remains
faithful to the cross. Since Luke's in-
fancy narrative and John's account of
Cana and Calvary are written in light
of the church's experience of the
Spirit, Mary in both Gospels models
the right response of the church to the
new revelation in Jesus. She shows
the human limitations of feeling hurt
(Lk. 2:48) or the Jewish desire for
"signs" (Jn. 2:3) but she ponders
Jesus' correcting words and allows
him to take the initiative (see Jn. 2:5
"Do whatever he tells you") and so
grows into a spiritual motherhood
beneath the cross (Jn. 19:25-7). She is
blessed because of her faith and can
accompany us and intercede for us in
our spiritual growth.
The mystery of Mary reveals
something further for our purposes.
She is "full of grace" (Lk. 1:28) be-
cause other son. She, as all of us, is
redeemed by her son even though
from another point of view she gives
life to her son. Similarly, those in
Christ may be called to intercede for
their parents' spiritual life, not just
gratefully receive life from them.
When people have been very hurt by
their parents the most powerful mo-
tive to "choose" them may be the
faith that God wants them to inter-
cede for their parents. I know of one
lady who, after she heard this truth,
had it confirmed in a personal
prophecy that she was to be a channel
for the Lord to heal her ancestors.
This softened her attitude toward her
mother and helped her find meaning
in the suffering she had not been
ready to accept. She began to
progress in new ways from that time.
IMPLICATIONS FOR HEALING
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS Our interhuman and theological re-
flections reveal how strongly our an-
cestry influences who we are and
how important it is to acknowledge
that indebtedness in order to move
beyond to more personally freeing
choices. Our family is no accident to
be by-passed but a gift of God to be
co-chosen. On the other hand, many
patterns actually block growth and
have to be liberated and opened to the
fullness of revelation in Jesus. We
continue a destructive parental pat-
tern if we "co-choose" it, but we
need not do so. As Jesus in his temp-
tations, we can be led in his Spirit to
experience the same history yet re-
spond to it in a new way—by trusting
in God and his gift of new relationship
in Jesus and Mary. This new choice
may create a painful discrepancy be-
tween ourselves and those closely re-
lated to us and a painful transition
period may result, but with God's
grace, it may eventually become a gift
for our parents freeing them to fuller
life.
In this process we can discern the
outlines of my theological stages:
enough trust to open to the God-given
gift of one's parents, enough spiritual
relationship to God (individuating
faith) to call into question the nega-
tive patterns one has co-chosen (free-
ing familial faith), but also to open
up the possibility of a new spiritual
relationship (communitarian faith),
which hopefully will release new life
for others (mission). Prayers for heal-
ing of family relationships seem to
correspond to these stages of de-
velopment. We seek healing of fami-
lial bonds which give a basic trust and
sense of belonging, then move on to
grow into individuated relation to
God, and then beyond to creating
new relationships with family, ances-
try, friends, etc. in the Spirit.
My own focus is on spiritual de-
velopment but I understand it to in-
clude yet transcend the interhuman
dynamics studied by Bowen and
Nagy. I find that study of family pat-
terns not only reveals often what
needs support or healing, but also
what view of faith needs correction or
strengthening. My work is mainly
with individuals viewed against the
background of their family relation-
ships, and I have found the following
practices to be helpful.
Analysis of One's Family System Psychodynamically, patterns can
be transcended only if they are
known, and theologically one's fam-
ily is providentially chosen so that in
it will be revealed the origins of many
of one's gifts as well as the challenges
one is called to surmount. I find chart-
ing the family system a help (see Ap-
pendix for guidelines and “Genogram
Format” for a method of diagramming).
A variety of data is important—exact
dates of crisis events (suicides?
depressions? marriages and divorces?
births?, etc.), order and ages of children
with their physical and personality
characteristics, names and characteristics
of grandparents and their families,
etc. as far back as is known, what
family "myths" have currency
("Don't trust anyone?" or "Give
generously and you will generously
receive?" etc.). Attend most of all to
how parents and others relate to one
another (fight? flight? cling?). Who is
dominant? Who is submissive? How
can individual responsibility be en-
couraged? What system of "justice"
or existential guilt and responsibility
holds sway? What positive or nega-
tive religious beliefs are there to build
on or correct?
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1 20
Analysis clarities the family system
and it can reveal both the positive
contributions of the system and the
areas that need a change of attitude
and healing. However, something
deeper must also be communicated if
the client is to find support to change
and that is trust. Trust builds in the
very process of examining one's fam-
ily system (which I usually do with
the person but sometimes have them
do at home and explain later). The
healer, much as the therapist, needs
to be involved yet not "triangled,"
that is, not emotionally biased in
favor of one person in the system
over any other. This objectivity,
Bowen found, is best achieved
through the therapist's working with
his/her own family of origin. It also
seems that the healer's own spiritual
growth (finding God in one's own self
and family, and connecting to a life-
giving spiritual community) is what
empowers him/her to communicate
insight and trust. We can only give
what we have received; we can only
free destructive patterns if we have
gone beyond them ourselves. The
healer models and gives emotional
and spiritual support for the person to
choose a more constructive way of
life.
Prayer for Freeing from the
Impasses of the Past Growing trust and insight opens
the possibility of individuating faith,
which I see as the basis for correcting
wrong patterns and restructuring
one's family system. Just as Jesus
stayed back in his "Father's house"
before returning to submit to his par-
ents (Lk. 2:41-52), so the client needs
the support of an individual relation-
ship to God in order to let go of old
patterns and choose new ones. For
the light one receives from analysis
may not be welcomed. I handed one
person her own diagram and she
pushed it right back at me. All she
saw were the weaknesses, yet those
very weaknesses can be turned into
strengths if they move one to seek
God, to break through to individuat-
ing faith. It has been pointed out that
Jesus' not having a biological father
opened him to his unique relationship
to his heavenly Father.32
I pray that God supply the con-
structive parenting the person did not
receive. I may invoke the interces-
sion of Mary or Jesus or Joseph or
some person who did show the per-
son love, to intercede that the Spirit
would heal the emotional lack. Since
our frustrated expectations of par-
ents cause resentment and actually
keep us in bondage to them, the
prayer to fulfill our need for parenting
can free us to accept the limitations of
our real parents and begin to ap-
preciate the good we have received
through them. These strengths of the
family can themselves be seen as gifts
from God and ultimately reflections
of Him, and this can expand and
strengthen one's individuated trust in
God and lead to choosing ones par-
ents as my examples indicated.
I pray also for parents, grandpar-
ents or important relationships in
need of healing that they might be
freed from anxiety, depression, lack
of faith, etc. I have experienced that
this helps free my client from "fu-
sion" of emotions. Parents' "unlived
life'' draws their children into satisfy-
ing their emotional desires while prayer
for the freeing and fulfillment of the
parents seems to release the children
from this emotional demand. In some
cases where the block is deeply em-
bedded in several generations, a
prayer for deliverance from some
negative spirit or attitude may be
needed together with the prayer for
healing. One lady was helped only
when some twenty relatives were
prayed for, brothers and sisters of her
parents and their parents. A loss of
faith in a grandfather seemed to be
the root cause. Her symptoms acted
as a call for intercessory prayer for
her relatives.
Release of Creativity to Help Free
One's Parents Individuating faith releases the
power of creative renewal of one's
21
family and community. Bowen had
trainees develop a strategy for relat-
ing to their families of origin in more
self-chosen ways, which often began
a "network effect" as other family
members grew to more individuated
responses after initial denial, anger,
withdrawal, etc. There seems to be a
similar "network effect" of the
Spirit. One's own personalized faith
seems to encourage faith in others
which releases a kind of spiritual co-
creativity. Further, I am convinced
that freeing family relationships is an
important key to building creative
spiritual communities for we repeat
in the larger community the patterns
we have unconsciously lived in the
smaller. Our anger etc. at parental
authority is displaced to the commun-
ity. As we are spiritually freed in our
families and primary communities,
Jesus' Spirit can spread and build
creative community even more
widely.
Conclusion We began by considering five
stages of spiritual growth that God
leads us through toward the fullness
of other empowering love. Family
emotional systems are an essential
part of this process but they need to
be reconstituted in Jesus' Spirit. Heal-
ing prayer serves both to heal the
wounds of earlier stages as well as to
call one to a personal relation to God
and to creative community. Since the
healer can only give what he or she
has received and since Jesus is ulti-
mately the only perfectly "healed"
human (with Mary as model believer),
they become, as it were, our
new ancestors who ground the new
possibility of a healed, spiritual family.
As healers grow into that reality
themselves they can show others the way
and help support their progress.
Ultimately, the goal of such prayer is to
build God’s Kingdom – that is, a
community that lives the love of God
revealed to us in Jesus.
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1
APPENDIX
Guidelines for Tracing a
Multigenerational Family System33
1. Chart the system indicating all
known family members, listing
birth, marriage, divorce, and
death dates as available, (see Fig-
ure 2 for a method of charting)
2. Obtain descriptive data on all fam-
ily members where possible, in-
cluding name, significant dates,
culture, subculture, education,
profession, a one sentence de-
scription, a characteristic quote,
significant achievements, crises,
tragedies (with dates), etc.
3. Explore the intergenerational
process of transmitting family
traits, ledger of merits and obliga-
tions, hidden loyalties, collusive
binds (triangles), fusions.
A. Ask about significant
marriages . . .
a) How did spouses comple-
ment each other's roles?
b) How did spouses resolve
conflict? absorption? de-
nial? cyclical conflict?
c) What patterns or
"scripts?" (place of ill-
ness? disagreement?
achievement?)
d) Who possessed the power?
Made the real decisions?
Controlled finances? Who
was strong? (persecutor?
rescuer?) Who weak? (vic-
tim?)
e) Who was indebted to
whom? What merits did
each have?
B. Ask about children . . .
a) Was the child generally
conforming or resistant?
good boy (girl)/bad boy
(girl)
b) Was the child more like
father or mother?
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1
c) Was the child closest (at-
tached) to a particular par-
ent in a positive way, or al-
ways intension against... ?
d) How did the siblings relate?
Did they exaggerate each
other's behavior?
e) What aspect of "child"
was pronounced? natural?
little professor? adapted?
f) What is the pattern of dif-
ferentiating? Did they tear
away or stay fused?
C. Ask about generations . . .
a) Are there recognizable pat-
terns between generations
in number of children, se-
quences of fusion, simi-
larities in personality style,
in incidents (premarital
pregnancy? suicide? men-
tal illness? etc. or achieve-
ments?)
b) Does ordinal position show
a consistent pattern be-
tween generations, e.g.,
are the youngest daughters
alike? etc.
c) Can you trace patterns of
dysfunction or increasing
function in the system
across generations?
D. Ask yourself . . . a) How am I going about dif-
ferentiating myself, here
and now in my own family?
What obligations do I have,
and how am I fulfilling
them? What merits do I
have, and how am I receiv-
ing? What would I like to
change?
4. Explore the function of faith (relig-
ion) in the system. Supportive of
status quo? Ground for creative
change? How does it relate to
Jesus' way?
22
Robert T. Sears is a Jesuit priest, a professor of theology formerly of the Jesuit School of Theology in Chicago, now teaching at the Insti- tute of Pastoral Studies at Loyola University. He received his Licen- tiate in Theology in Germany in 1966 (Sankt Georgen, Frankfurt I Main) and his Ph.D. from Fordham Univer- sity, Bronx, N.Y. in 1974 where he wrote a dissertation on The Theology of the Holy Spirit of Herlbert Muhlen and its relevance for evaluating the data of psychotherapy. He first be- came involved in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal in 1968 at Fordham. He has written articles on "The Ministry of Healing" (Em- manuel, May, 1978), on "Trinitarian Love as Ground of the Church" (Theological Studies, Dec. 7976), and on the Holy Spirit and the Church ("Receive the Holy Spirit," The Way, Jan. 1979) and "Understand- ing Holiness" (Catholic Charismatic, Dec. /Jan. 1980). Father is currently working on a book dealing with the theology of spiritual growth and heal- ing and on Mary as exemplar of life in the Spirit.
Reference Notes 1 My first presentation of spiritual develop- ment was "Trinitarian Love as Ground of the
Church," in Theological Studies, Dec. 1976,
pp. 652-679. I later added an initial stage and
clarified the grounding in a seminar paper "Trinity
and World Process," in Proceedings
of the Catholic Theological Society of America
(CTSA), June, 1978, 211-217. 2 See Murray Bowen, Family Therapy in Clinical
Practice (N.Y.: Jason Aronson, 1978), Ch.16
"Theory in the Practice of Psychotherapy"
(1978), 337-387. My references will be to this
article.
3 See especially his Invisible Loyalties (N.Y.:
Harper & Row Medical Dept., 1973), co-
authored by Geraldine M. Spark. 4 Miihlen's work is mostly in German. One
relevant English work is A Charismatic
Theology: Initiation in the Spirit (N.Y.:
Paulist, 1978). I discuss his theology in Spirit:
Divine and Human. The Theology of the
Holy Spirit of Heribert Muhlen and its
Relevance for Evaluating the Data of
Psychotherapy. Dissertation from Fordham
Univ., 1974. Available from Univer-
sity Microfilms, Ann Arbor, Mich. 5 This cry reflects Ps. 22 which ends with a
cry of victory, but it must also have been a
deep experience of abandonment that Jesus
went through. 6 See my "Trinity and World Process," pp.
112-114. 7 Ibid., pp. 114-117. My stages show a
basic correlation (with differences) to two
other views of faith development: John H.
Westerhoff, Will Our Children Have Faith?
(Seabury, 1976), and James Fowler, Stages
of Faith (N.Y.: Harper & Row, 1980), should
the reader want to pursue this topic. 8 I rely here on an unpublished paper of
Helen A. Kenik (1979) and on Gerhard von
Rad, Deuteronomy (London, 1966). Both
argue for the prophetic origin of E and Dt,
and Kenik shows the mediated relation to
Yahweh that E (and Dt) stress. The people
must listen to privileged people like Moses
and the prophets. 9See H. W. Robinson, The Cross in the Old
Testament (Philadelphia: Westminister, 1955)
for an analysis of Job. The writer makes two
clear points: 1) God can be loved for his own
sake, not for reward/punishment, and 2) God
is greater than our concepts (see Ch. 38f).
The painful conflict this causes with
conventional wisdom is reflected in Job's
friends. 10Their breaking out of the cultural limits
of Jerusalem into Babylon seems also to have
set the stage for a more universal vision. The
exilic prophets see Yahweh as the only God
(not just Israel's one god), and Isaiah sees
Him at work even in the foreigner Cyrus. It is
as though the breakthrough of individuating
faith brings a new integrated view of God.
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 1
11Other notions as well differ according to
one's stage of development: sin, love, freedom.
God, etc. How a person sees these different
truths can help the healer and the person
identify where he/she is, and what is needed to
facilitate growth. One may be in different
places consciously and unconsciously, and
each new facet of personality will develop
according to the stages. 12 See Bowen, "Theory in the Practice of
Psychotherapy," p. 370f. 13 Ibid., 367. 14Ibid., 367. 15 Ibid., 369. 16 Ibid., 371f.
17 See “Genogram Format” for a method of
diagramming one's family system. 18 It may sometimes be necessary to speak
with the partners individually prior to Bowen's
suggested way. 19 Besides Invisible Loyalties, see his
"Behavioral Change Through Family
Change," Ch. 11 in Burton, Arthur (ed.). What
Makes Behavior Change Possible? (N.Y.:
Brunner/Mazel, 1976) for a concise over-
view. 20See Invisible Loyalties, esp. 38-46.
21 Ibid., Ch. 2 "A Dialectical Theory of
Relationships." 22 See his Corporate Personality in Ancient
Israel (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1964). His
concept was expanded and brought into the
New Testament by J. de Fraine, Adam and the
Family of Man, trans. D. Raible (Staten Island:
Alba House, 1965), 20-48. 23 See deFraine, Adam and the Family of
Man, pp. 20-48. 24 Ibid., 29. 25 The Tavistock group method, based on the work of the Freudian analyst W. R. Bion
(Experiences in Groups, N.Y.: Basic Books,
1959) has rediscovered something of this
perspective. It interprets the responses of
group members in light of what the whole
group is subconsciously perceiving. Applied
to Jesus’ disciples, Judas' betrayal of Christ
can be seen not only as his personal action, but
as a manifestation of the unconscious doubt
and hesitancy of all the disciples which
appeared clearly only later. (See Dennis
23
Rice, "Collusion Course," New Blackfriars 53
(1972), 359-366). When this latent group idea
is articulated by an individual and accepted,
the group changes its focus. The individual
and group form a complex system where one
influences the other and vice versa. 26 See de Fraine, Adam and the Family of
Man, pp.165 and 96-100. 27 See Brevard S. Childs, The Book of Exodus:
A Critical Theological Commentary
(Philadelphia:Westminster, 1974), 418. 28 Ibid., 418-419. 29 For the situation of Matthew and Luke see
Eugene A. LaVerdiere and William G.
Thompson, "New Testament Communities in
Transition: A Study of Matthew and Luke,"
Theological Studies 37 (1976), 567-597. 30 Thus, in Luke's account the devil begins
with "if you are the Son of God" (Lk. 4:3), and
the stone and bread are singular (plural in Mt.).
For Luke, the culmination of Jesus' mission in
his easting out of the evil one from the world
through his cross/resurrection, so he reverses
the second and third temptations, having
them end with Jerusalem. Jesus' person is the
focus, rather than his universal mission. 31See J. H. Yoder, The Politics of Jesus
(Grand Rapids: W. B. Eerdmans, 1972),
163-192 "Revolutionary Subordination." 32 See Edward Edinger, Ego and Archetype
(Baltimore: Penguin, 1973), 132ff. 33 Adapted by the author from unpublished
notes of David Augsburger -- private
communication. For guidelines on
diagramming your family see the article on
this site – “Genogram format”.
Journal of Christian Healing