Hello, My Lovely Life Bookers!

My name is Effy Wild and I’ve been teaching here in Life Book since the very beginning in 2012! I love teaching ways to use creative practice and especially art journaling to meet yourself on the page and develop a more intimate rela-tionship with yourself, and here I am again in 2018 with a lesson on embracing and honouring your shadow! I hope you enjoy it.

I named this lesson “Chiaroscuro” because a) I love the word, and b) it feels like poetry to me. Chiaroscuro refers to the lights and darks used in visu-al art to create drama in a painting or photograph. Without the darkest darks, the lights just don’t pop, so chiaroscuro teaches us to embrace the shadow. Being a poetic wee beastie, I love this as a metaphor for the works of art that we, ourselves, become when we embrace our own shadows, and that’s what this lesson is all about.

Technique wise, this lesson is rich and includes using reference photos to create expressive self-portraits, gelli-plating to create interesting backgrounds, and picking one side of the face that will get the light and one side that will get the shadow. In terms of its ‘healing component’, this lesson is all about owning the heavy or difficult stuff we feel so that we can be in integrity with ourselves. While the topic of ‘shadow’ in psychological terms is quite a heavy one, I kept this lesson ‘shadow light’ and focused on something we all experi-ence all the time (unless we’re totally superhuman).

Envy.

In all of our lives, a little envy will creep in. It’s a part of the whole picture that makes up a human life. Someone has or does some-thing we want, and the sting of it becomes evident. When it arises, we have choices. We can own it (I feel envious because I want whatever it is that person has or I want to do whatever it is that person does), or we can shove it into the shadowy corner of our psyches. If we do the former, we can use the energy of envy to fuel our next steps in the attainment of whatever it is we desire. If we do the latter, chances are, we will keep the feeling shoved down until it explodes in unexpected ways later, or we’ll let our shadow run rampant all over the place as we project the heavy feelings and discomfort that envy brings with it onto the person that triggered our envy. Like so:

You discover someone via social media whose work is gorgeous, and it triggers a little twinge of envy. You might think to yourself something like “She is so good at what she does. Her art is beautiful.” You might feel all sorts of things in response to these thoughts,

like admiration, respect, maybe a little bit of awe, and you might feel a little twinge of envy. You might start to compare your work with her work, and find your work coming up short in your own estimation. You might find yourself uncomfortable, and a little miserable over this comparison. Here’s what it might look like if you suppress it: Envy arises, but you shove it into the deep dark corners of your psyche because it’s heavy and uncomfortable, and we all know it isn’t nice to be jealous, so you refuse to even look at it. As time goes by, especially if you run in the same circles, you might notice that whenever you see her work you feel uncomfortable and irritated. You might start to think things like ”Who does she think she is? She’s so full of herself. Her work’s not even that good anyway.” or...”I can’t stand her.”

No shame here, loves. It happens to us all.

Here’s what it looks like if you own it: Envy arises, and you acknowledge it. “Her work is so beautiful, and I really envy her talent. My green-eyed monster just popped up with all sorts of unkind things to say about my own work. Ouch! That really hurts. But I know it’s not her fault that I’m feeling this way, so I’m going to turn my attention inward, give myself some space to really explore this so I can use it for my own betterment. I’m going to give myself a lot of compassion about this, and be really gentle with the part of myself that feels envious...”

And once you’ve been with yourself in your feelings for a while, you might find yourself thinking things like “I wonder what I can do to attain my own version of ‘success’ in this area? How can I improve my skills? I wonder if there’s a class I can take that will teach me how to do this really well?” Much more empowering, yes?

Embrace the shadow. There is power in it.

While I explored ‘shadow light’ in this lesson, you can just as easily apply these steps to any kind of shadow stuff as it arises, like so:

You’re having a really heavy or difficult feeling and your temptation is to deny it or stuff it for whatever reason. Maybe it isn’t a ‘so-cially acceptable’ way to feel, or maybe you were raised never to acknowledge whatever it is you’re feeling. Some of the heavy stuff that comes up is labeled ‘negative’ in our culture - like anger, or envy. Some of the heavy stuff is actually really wonderful, but deemed unseemly, like pride or desire. Whatever it is, if you want to work with it in this manner, give yourself a moment to really feeeeeeel it. Be with it. Think about how it feels in your body. If it was a colour, what would it be? Ask yourself what’s underneath it. What’s really going on here? How is this totally *about you* and what within you is arising to be seen and healed?

Take your time.

Write it out. Own it. Acknowledge that the source of this feeling is within you. Dig into what it is trying to tell you. Try to befriend it, think of it as an ally. In my life, envy is often an arrow pointing to the next thing I’m supposed to be working on. Anger is often an indi-cator that my boundaries need to be enforced. Grief is often an indicator that I’ve loved deeply, and I need time to feel the loss. What does this heaviness need? Apply lots of self-empathy. Be really forgiving with yourself and gentle with whatever part of you is feeling this heaviness. Tell yourself that your feelings are valid. Treat them as holy. Release the person or situation who triggered the heavy feelings from blame and responsibility for your desired outcome and resolve to do whatever you need to do to attain the feeling state you want to attain. Know in your heart that they can’t fix it for you. Only you can do that. Write until the emotional charge is easing up, and you begin to notice curiosity arising. What do I need right now? How can I give it to myself? What do I need to do next?

At this point in the process, I like to draw and then paint myself expressively as demonstrated in the lesson. I especially love to use techniques that create a bit of wonkiness so there’s room for my subconscious mind to play. This time spent just being with all of this on the page (or canvas) let’s me be with it more deeply than I might otherwise, which really helps me ‘clear’ it.

The resulting paintings aren’t always ‘pretty’ (though this one really is!), but they are always really interesting to look at, and they always feel really powerful.

So, remembering that we are working with ‘shadow light’ in this lesson, pick something you want to be with and then release, and ready your supplies.

A FEW NOTES: 1) Feel free to copy this spread to get a feel for the process, and then at some point, repeat the process on your own using your own symbols, colours, focal images, and favourite techniques. 2) You never need to add text in order to complete a journal spread. If your images are speaking for you, you can totally leave it at that. 3) I love to layer portraits until the cows come home. I probably overdo it sometimes (like, in this lesson). *Giggles* Please feel free to stop when *YOU* feel finished. 4) DO NOT USE A COPIC MARKER for this lesson. It bled up throughout and made more work for me than necessary. 5)Not into healing stuff? No worries. Just try the techniques for their own sake. They’re super fun!

SUPPLIES USED (and suggested substitutions)

Water reactive marker or crayonI used Tombow markers, but you could use any marker that will move when you apply water, or watercolor crayons. You could

even do your journaling with a brush and watercolor paint or inks if you prefer.

A clean brush + waterOr you could use a damp paper towel or even baby wipe to

smoosh out your writing.

Acrylic paint + a brayer I used Golden fluid acrylic in Titanium White but you can use

whatever you like, as long as its acrylic paint.

A selfie or other image of yourself. This can be a picture of you in a desired state (so, not feeling the heaviness you’re presently feeling), or just a picture you like. If you prefer not to work with selfies, go to unsplash.com and find

an image that you like.

Stabilo All Pencil This is my ‘magic wand’, but some people find them too messy. If you prefer to work with pencil, go for it. You could also use a

Derwent Inktense pencil, watercolour pencil, or even a NeoColor II watercolour crayon. Activate this with water on a clean brush.

Workable FixativeThis spray seals the spread and ensures that your water reactive

stuff won’t smear as you apply the next layers. I use Krylon brand, but Blair is really good, too.

Gelli Plate + Paints + StencilsI used Golden Fluid Acrylics, but you can use whatever paint you

like for this step. If you don’t have a Gelli plate, just stencil in layers.

A waterproof black marker NOT COPIC. *laughs* Lesson learned. :) Try a Faber Castell Pitt Pen, or any other non-alcohol based waterproof black marker.

Fluid Acrylics in a variety of colours I picked colours that felt good and healing, and used Golden Fluid acrylics. I like these because they are transparent. If your paints

are opaque (not see-through), try mixing them with some gel medium to get a more transparent coverage.

White GessoUsed throughout to push and pull elements of the face. I use

Liquitex because it comes in a handy squeeze bottle.

Clear Gesso Optional. You only need this if you intend to use coloured pencil in the face as I did. You could definitely do all your face painting and

shading with paint only.

Coloured PencilsOptional. Use any coloured pencil you like to work with. I love

Prismacolor pencils

Blending Stump or TortillionThese are those little rolled paper tools that let you blend out

coloured pencil, charcoal or graphite.

Faber Castell Pitt Pens I use these to add shading to the face - a blue and a deep red should do it. If you don’t have these, shade with paint instead.

A metallic paint of some kind Optional, but I love to add a little bling to all my spreads.

Waterproof Black Pen I used a Uniball Vision, which should be set with a heat gun or

left to dry for at least an hour or so. You could use any waterproof black pen you like.

Uniposca Paint Pen (White) Use any paint pen you like, or white paint on a fine liner brush.

Gold gel pen I like Unibal Signo Broad, but you can use any gel pen you have

that will work over acrylic layers.

Pigma Micron Use any fine black waterproof pen you have.

If you have questions about supplies and substitutions, please post them in the Facebook Group! Tag me, and I will do my best to help you figure out what to use instead.

Wherever possible, use what you have!

There’s a step-by-step walk through on the following pages:

Write it out. I’m using Tombow markers in three shades of green - one to represent the heavy feeling I’m starting with (envy), one to represent a soothing feeling I’d like to be feeling (self-love, compassion), and one to represent your desired out-come (I’d like to be grounded in the present moment). Other examples of this might be starting with an angry red, a self loving pink, and a happy magenta, or grief blue, watery blue (for cleansing tears) and a peaceful silver.

After you’ve written it all out, activate the Tombow water on a clean brush.

Brayer on some paint in a light colour. You’re not trying to cover everything, but rather unify it.

Use a photograph of yourself as a reference and draw a super loose WONKY portrait. The wonkiness makes room for your subconscious to play a bit.

Activate the pencil with water and a clean brush and refine your features. Add a layer of workable fixative to ensure that the face stays put as you add your next layers.

Outline the features you want to keep in a black, waterproof marker (or paint on a paint brush - whatever works for you). I used COPIC, and I don’t recommend it, because it bled up through every layer.

Grab your Gelli-plate, a few stencils, and a few colours of paint. You can assign each stencil a ‘meaning’ if you like, or you can just play. Build your background layer by layer. I used a limited palette of three colours, and I worked right over top of my face.

Dry thoroughly.

I brayered on some white paint just to push that background back a little bit.

Lighten up the face using white gesso. Scrub it in. Remember to keep one side of the face darker than the other. Gesso in the hair area.

Here you can see how the patterns still shine up through this layer. Add black outlining to the face to refine the features and re-shape whatever needs reshaping. Use gesso to erase any lines you want to push back.

Glaze the background with a transparent layer of paint. I’m using Turquois Pthalo from Golden.

Paint the darker side of your face with the background colour in a thicker, deeper layer.

Add shading to the lighter side of the face. using the back-ground colour. Add a bit more highligting to the areas of the face that protrude (like the cheekbones, chin, eyelids, forehead, nose). Remember to take it easy on the darker side of the face.

Glaze over the face with a colour you like. I’m using green gold. Glaze over the hair with a colour you like. I’m using Nikel Azo Gold.

Add a thicker layer of paint with a round brush, stroking in the hair. I’m using Burnt Orange. Add this colour to the eyebrows and lips.

Once this layer is dry, add clear gesso to the face and around the hair line if you intend to do more shading in the face with some coloured pencils. THIS IS OPTIONAL. You may feel your face is perfect just now, so feel free to leave it alone.

Add bling. I did gold highlights in the hair, and a radiant circle of dots. This, for me, represents the power of the divine to in-crease my sense of clarity. I also added some in the lower right hand corner, and in a semi-circle around her head.

I used a blue coloured pencil to add some shading in the face. I also used black here and there. I blended this out with a blend-ing stump. This is OPTIONAL.

I used a black pen to refine her eyes a bit and reshape her pupils. I also added the ‘eye muscles’ we all have in our iris.

Note that I fought to push back the Copic marker over and over again. It bears repeating that you’d be best served by using some other black marker - preferably not alcohol based.

I wanted more highlights, so I scrubbed them in using white paint. I am *ridiculous* when it comes to shading faces. Don’t feel like you have to do twenty layers to get something deep. Often four or five layers are plenty.

I used a Faber Castell Pitt Pen (this is the ‘big brush’ version) to add some more blue shading in her face.

More black pencil to push back a misplaced ‘too bright’ high-light.

Black Faber Castell to add some ‘darkest darks’.

Woo! I lit up her eyes with white paint.

More highlights and a bit of work to straighten out her nose a bit.

I added some warm shading with an Indian Red Faber Castell Pitt Pen. I also added a bit of this to the lips and cheeks.

I added some light to the darker areas of the face with a Uni-posca Paint Marker.

I glazed over the gold in her hair using the same burnt orange we used before.

I added white highlights to the lip area.

I glazed over the gold dots with green gold.

I added text. Remember that if your images are speaking for themselves, but I really wanted to include the words “If you can face it, you can heal it”, and because it made me giggle, I added “Embrace the Shadow”! My World of Warcraft playing friends will understand. :)

Workable Fixative to ensure that the pen, which is not water-proof, doesn’t move.

I outlined my lettering with a Pigma Micron 0.5.

And voila! You can finish with a varnish if you like, or leave it as is. I hope you enjoyed this lesson as much as I enjoyed creating it for you! Please note that if you tag me in the Facebook group or leave your questions below my lesson in the classroom, I will take a look at your work and help you in any way I can!

Please come find me at effywild.com.

Love you!

xo Effy