A family’s experiences with the impending death of a loved one, showing God’s grace and surprising purposes.

HerAmazing Journey

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G R A C E G R I G G E T T I N G E R

April - July 2013

Katherine’s Place • Fayetteville, Arkansas

by

Elizabeth Peters

Her Amazing Journey

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On April 14, 2013 - Grandma Grace Ettinger, 102 years old,

suffered a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. She was

diagnosed with aortic dissection and registered with Hospice

with a prognosis of 2 days to 2 weeks. Back at her cozy room

at Katherine’s Place, her family, friends, and acquaintances

responded to the news.

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My Dearest Grace,

From the moment we met, right away I knew

That God brought me to Katherine’s to look after you.

You have blessed my heart in so many ways

And brought joy to my soul with each passing day

I get up in the mornings to come see your sweet face

And to hear the life stories of “My Amazing Grace”

I loved watching you quilt and watching you sew

And listening to all of your great memories of long ago.

No matter what you’re going through or how great your pain,

You have never been one to ever complain

You accept what life brings you with the utmost faith

And that is what makes you “My Amazing Grace”

Your unconditional love for your family and your values so true

Are only two of the reasons that I look up to you

You have fought a good fight, and ran a good race

And I know that you’re ready to meet the Lord face to face

And when He takes you by the hand

and leads you through the Pearly Gates

I imagine Him saying, “Well done my child,

Welcome home, Amazing Grace”

I love you more than you will ever know

And I will be so sad when you have to go

But although death is a part of life at we have to face

You will live in my heart, “My Amazing Grace”

I find comfort in knowing that when I reach the other side

Together, forever, we shall abide

Love Always,

Teresa Bardwell (CNA at Katherine’s Place)

Thursday: April 18, 2013

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It wasn’t planned that way, but here’s

how it happened.

Last night I slept in Mom’s chair close

enough to her bed so I could hear her

breathe. And she did breathe- she

rested well all night. Teresa (mom’s

caretaker) came in early with two

handwritten pages slightly damp from

the cold rain. “I wrote a poem for

you, Grace” she said, and read “My

Amazing Grace”. It ‘s a wonderful thing

to see caregiving the way it should be.

Teresa has adopted my mom as her

mom, and treats her with dignity, love

and efficiency. Mom, meanwhile, gives

Teresa appreciation and gratitude with

a good supply of stories from her past

seasoned with a dash of humor, and

prays for her just as she prays for her

own daughters.

All day long different family members

took turns talking to Grams, and

sometimes we all talked at once. There

was no sense of endings or finality,

it was just like it always is when we

get together, laughter and concerns,

joking and seriousness all mixed up

like a giant tossed salad. Grandma gets

the prize for talking the most. It was an

emotional afternoon as we listened

another time to her advice, memories

and her heart for each of us. Meanwhile

we were all silently wondering how that

big heart of hers was holding together

inside her frail frame.

Jasmine painted her nails a shiny pale

pink. Amy gave her sips of ice water.

Jeff videotaped stories. Marti read

cards that had arrived in today’s mail,

and I read her Andrea’s beautifully

Mother’s Day came early to Katherine’s Place...

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Martha Nokes Zwonitzer We love you Gramdma Grace! Thank you for always treating me and my girls as family! My girls ask about you almost every day. Thank you for the blessing you have been in their lives!

Missy McPherson What a blessing for you to have this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jennifer Anne-Herr Peters Please tell Grandma Grace how much we love her. We also love you so much!

Helga Clark That is a beautiful Story Liz, our Love is with all of you.

Kelli Michele Awwww, Liz, you help us all to enjoy your beautiful visit!

Gordon L. Whitbeck She was bright in the early evening, telling her stories to Bonnie and I. Very peaceful with her.

Annette Rosemann Tell Aunt Grace she is in my prayers. She will soon be up there with Mom and the rest of her sisters. I wish I could be there but it’s too far to travel for me now. Knee trouble again. Bless you all.

Kenneth Carol Flynn Grace Ettinger, What a special blessing and example you’ve been to our family. You have a special place in our hearts. We’re praying for you.

Vicki Rossmeisl LLiz, You are such a strong person. Thank you for sharing.

Denise Brooks Wisse What a beautiful legacy. So glad you could all be there with her. Thank you for sharing. You are all in my prayers.

Shuvawn irish SweetLiz, this is beautiful. Please tell Grandma Grace that the whole Sweet family loves her.

June EttingerFamily: This is a message to put in our Ancestry books!

Denise OwenSo sweet. The legacy will live on in the lives of all of us. She touches so many people still. Bless you, Grandma Grace as you await your entry into the arms of Je-sus. We will all miss you when you go, but are so glad to pray for you as you wait, just as you have prayed for us.

Jan StacyWhat a blessing she was is and is to our family. Please tell her.

written letter. Ellen arranged her pillows.

Valerie took pictures. Debbie checked

her meds and vitals. Marian arranged the

flowers. And mom- mom delighted us all

with her sparkly blue eyes and attempts

to smile. That was Mother‘s Day coming

early, because May will be too late.

Every one of us knows that something

special is happening here. God told

the angels to shake out the welcome

mat, and blessings are fluttering around

everywhere.

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The fact is that Grandma suffered a

heart attack last Sunday, evidently a

good hard jolt. Teresa gave me a few

of the particulars and it sounded to me

like that evening could very well have

been the end of Grandma’s amazing

journey.

I remember over two years ago when

Grandma fell and broke her hip and

crawled to the living room to call

Marian. A broken hip is often a death

notice for a patriarch of her age. That

event could have spelled the end of

Grandma’s amazing journey.

The point is, she is traveling her

amazing journey according to God’s

timetable. She is still with us. Question:

Why? Something is going on here, and

since we are her family and friends, we

really should think about this. God is at

work, and is it for her benefit, or is it for

ours. If it is for our benefit, what is it?

We all have heard how Grandma prays

for all of us. Her son-in-law, Dan,

wrote to her today, “I don’t want to

even imagine where we and so many

others would be if not for your constant

prayers.”

And Grandma doesn’t just repeat,

“God bless so and so…”, she is

specifically praying that each of us

follow Him according to His will for our

individual lives. We might conclude

that Grandma’s work is prayer for our

spiritual well being. Evidently that

work is not finished, because she is still

falling asleep with prayers streaming

upward.

An email sent to Grandma from great

granddaughter Sarah expresses this

understanding of Grandma’s role:

It’s hard to believe that our family

could be forever changed in just a

short amount of time. I’m frightened

to imagine how the loss of your

prayer will increase our vulnerability

to attacks from the deceiver. But

I rest in the peace that our family

loves The Lord. And that even now

we run to the place that you have

always taught us to go. We choose

to seek The Lord.”

As we visit with Grandma Grace these days, in the back of our minds are questions.

What is this about? What is going to happen next?

Friday: April 19, 2013

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If you are reading this and following

Grandma’s amazing journey, I

challenge you to proclaim her journey

of prayer a success. She is praying for

YOU. Get on your knees and talk to

your Lord, tell Him that you are ready to

believe, ready to obey, ready to serve,

ready to repent, ready to love, ready to

forgive, ready to… you fill in the blanks.

Then, cement your prayer of commit-

ment in time and space, in here and

now. Make it real and permanent.

Write an email to Grandma telling

what you have done, that her prayers

for YOU have been accomplished, that

her devotion and determination have

made an impact in eternity.

And begin today, in this moment in

time, your OWN amazing journey.

Because this family and this

community and this world needs

another “Amazing Grace”.

Brian FlynnWow. So well said. Grace has been a family friend, prayer warrior, dedicated example of God’s love, and so much more. My grandmother also Grace, shared a keen and kindred spirit with your Grace. God even used Grace’s horse-back ride a few years ago to begin yet another facet of ministry that we use our horses for here at Abundant Life Ranch. Seniors come out and lead, feed, groom, love, and occasionally ride some of our senior horses. The effect on both humans and horses has been amazing. Thank you Grace, for your faithfulness and willing-ness to follow our Lord through this journey he has us on. May God Bless you and keep you.

Tonja MilletBrian, love your comment and learning how Grandma Grace’s faith impacted your horse ministry We love horses, too, and have shared some great moments with Grandma Grace on horseback. Bless-ings.

Heather Chase SenterWow, Liz... such a profound thought that she may be intentionally delaying her heart’s desire and longing for a specific person’s benefit. So sacrificial nad charac-teristic of the way she’s livedher life... I hope each person deeply reflects on this to release her to heaven...

FACEBOOK POSTS

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Birthdays for Valerie and Megan, Grandma helps blow out the candles.

Saturday: April 20, 2013

Grandma Grace loves the Ozark hills

where she was born and raised… In

the past couple years, we have taken

her on day trips on back roads just

to watch the road unroll ahead with

scenic views and showers of dogwood

in the spring, red maples in the fall.

That is her comfort zone, her home,

her heart.

There are others places in her heart

that are also dear. Nauvoo, IL was the

location of their ancestral house with

the German hospitality inscription

in the gable. There, they lived in a

home with rooms like musical chairs,

occupied for short times by a host

of family, boarders, foster children

and visitors. Grandma poured her

heart into the worn wooden structure,

transforming it with hard work, fresh

linens, and pretty dishes.

The pinnacle of Grandma’s living

quarters was the house in Hazelwood,

MO. She was able to custom build a

home with an apartment in the lower

walk-out level that was dedicated

Places in the heart...

Sunday: April 21, 2013

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to missionaries who were traveling

through and needed a plea for a night

or a month or so. She thrived by

sharing spaces and lemon pies with

those whom she considered the elite

of the Lord.

Another nook in her heart is Kejabe,

Kenya, Africa. She and Grandpa

braved a new world in their elder years

to host a guest home, warming it with

a new fireplace and their signature

hospitality. Among the people they

blessed there were missionaries,

travelers, and most of all, “Brown Jim”,

with whom they kept contact for many

years after.

In the last quarter of her life, her

grandson Anthony Scott, was

instrumental in establishing a Christian

adventure camp in the hill country

of Texas. She drove in with the Scott

family on the rocky road the first

night the Lord took ownership of the

property in order to impact countless

young lives. She watched and prayed

through the years as the camp

developed, nearly went under, then

revived to become the success it has

become. Camp Eagle has a chunk of

Grandma’s heart.

On her 101st birthday, we took

Grandma on a “pilgrimage” to Camp

Eagle so she could enjoy the results of

her prayers for so many years. Today,

she still has that longing to return

and see all the new things that have

happened at Camp. “I wish I could go

one more time, “ she said. “I wish you

could, too”, I said. “I guess it would

take a miracle to get me there,” she

said. “Yes, it would”, is all I could reply.

Tonight Grandma Grace sleeps at

a place called Katherine’s Place.

Places in the heart...

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Annette Rosemann I remember visiting Nauvoo when I was a kid, centuries ago. I remember having fun there.

Glen S. Jones Beautiful, Liz!

FACEBOOK POSTS

Through the last couple of days, more

than 50 people have come to say hello

from great distances, bringing their

children, dropping their daily respon-

sibilities, expending themselves for

a few minutes with a frail old woman.

Something happened here, and they

have been blessed. Grandma’s room

became hallowed ground. There was

room for everyone to squeeze in this

afternoon when spontaneously, they

shared in prayer, sang a hymn together

and read Scripture.

As they leave, family by family, one by

one, they go away with a place in their

own heart - An assisted living facility in

Arkansas - where they shared a unique

experience none will forget.

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EMAIL

Dear Grandma Grace, I just read Liz’ descrip-tion of everyone’s visit with you at Kather-ine’s Place and it makes me want to be a little bird on the windowsill soaking it all in. It is apparent that your influence and love has permeated into so many lives...includ-ing mine! What a sweet thing it’s been to spend time with everyone at family reunions and to get to see that the beauty of the Millet~Ettinger crew is way more than skin deep. And it’s been a blessing to have you as my adopted grandmother after my own Grandma Irish passed away at the age of 99. It’s even more of a blessing that some of the people that we count as near and dear to us are directly related to you. Without you, there wouldn’t be them! I used to joke about somehow worming our way into the Millet and Ettinger family and, who knows, it may happen someday; however, until then, we count it all joy to know you and to be part of this time in your life. You are an amazing woman! With much love, Shuvawn Sweet

•Dear Grandma Grace, It’s hard to believe that our family could be forever changed in just a short amount of time. I’m frightened to imagine how the loss of your prayer will increase our vulnerability to attacks from the deceiver. But I rest in the peace that our fam-ily loves The Lord. And that even now we run to the place that you have always taught us to go. We choose to seek The Lord. He will provide what we need. Thank you for continuing to make Christ our focus. Be-cause without that focus, we trip into chaos. Grandma, I love you! I couldn’t be more proud to call you my great grandma. Sarah Ettinger

•I have thought a great deal about you this morning and prayed for you often. As I did, a letter I wrote to you back in January of 2012 came to mind. I have updated it a little.

“Personally, I wish to thank you for your love and for your Godly life, which has meant so much to so many. Your patient persistence over 102 years is such an incredible testimo-ny of God’s blessing on your life. Your name, Grace, truly says it all. It sort of terrifies me to think of living that long. “Over twenty-six years ago you and Pop sat in our living room on Club Hill and approved my marriage to

LoEtta after the Lord had seen fit to take our precious Joyce to Himself three years earlier. Can you believe that I got to my 29th an-niversary and now have gotten back to 26? I remember the fabulous bouquet of exotic flowers I brought to Joyce on our last anni-versary and how embarrassed she was that she had forgotten the date. What else could we expect since she was so sick? “May the Lord continue to richly bless you in your re-maining days, as you minister so faithfully in prayer for all of us. Many of your grand chil-dren and great grand children serve Him long term or short term in various places in the world, following your stellar example of wit-ness to the world. Your heritage will roll on to eternity.” I can just imagine the celebra-tion that awaits you as you step into God’s presence and are greeted by the throngs who will call you blessed. Your son always, Bill Millet

•Liz - how long has it been? I believe that it has to have been over 15 years since I saw “Grace”. But what I remember that of a woman very advanced in years but somehow transcending those years - a vibrant woman of strong belief. I really can’t articulate what it well. But her name does describe much of what I saw and felt – God’s grace in human form. A blessing.” Missy McPherson

•Being one of the members of the clan that married into the Millets, I feel honored to have had an opportunity to get to know you. You are an amazing woman with such a giv-ing and beautiful heart. I hope in your final time that you are able to be as comfortable as you can be. Love, Jennifer Millet

•I find myself praying for you and your family everyday. As I care for my Mom I realize we are walking in similar paths. Mom is still with me and we are doing it daily. She has little mini strokes from time to time. We smile and laugh out loud and talk about many things. Know that everyday, as I care for my Mom...I am also thinking of you, dear friend and will continue to hold all of you close. We are His, Edna Blake

Grandma Grace, Though I only saw you in person a few times, I saw the influence of your wise counsel, your fervent prayer, and your life of serving your Savior many, many

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times. Your granddaughter Jennifer is like a sister to me, and I have been able to share you as my “Grandma by proxy” when I was discouraged in the life of ministry and in the challenging path of being a wife and mother. Hearing of your life and how your faith was multiplied through the generations of your family and beyond is like marching orders for those of us who get weary in the fight. I praise God for the mighty power of His Spirit displayed in you, and I am challenged to seek more of that Spirit in my own life. With love, Michelle Owens

•Hello Grandma Grace. We love you and are thinking of you. Sandy Bridgeman

•Grandma Grace, I have many wonderful memories of you out here at Camp Eagle, riding the zip line, getting thrown off a horse, and family reunions but my favorite memory is of you sitting in the nurses station look-ing out the window. when I stopped into ask you how you where doing you told me you where doing well. When I asked i you where boarded you said “No, I am praying for every child that walks by”. I asked what you where praying and you said “If I’m here or not I pray these kids are safe and that have salvation” Ever since than when people ask me how the can pray for camp I simply say “SAFETY and SALVATION”. We Love you Grandma! Many of the staff said to say hello!Anthony Scott

•Grandma Grace,I sit here miles away from Arkansas and Texas wondering what I can do or even say… but I am reminded of your great testimony of the power of prayer. Prayer has almost be-come cliche in our Christian world that when something terrible happens or people do not know what to do they often utter the words, “I’ll pray for you.” It is often that these words are said without even actually praying for the person or events that are occurring. As I think of you, I am so humbly reminded of how prayer truly is powerful. Prayer is not some words said in haste or afterthought but an outpouring of our heart to the One who cre-ated us. I have seen this witnessed in your life and how grateful I am to have such a prayer warrior in my family. I know that through moving to Indiana, Camille getting can-cer, and losing Greg that there were many prayers said in spite of our family. I know that

prayers were not only said in the bad times but also in the good times. I know it is by no mistake that the Lord led me to marry such a Godly man that truly desires to serve him in everything he does by being in full time ministry as a pastor. I thank you for always praying for each and everyone of us in our family and for being a transparent example of what it means to truly love and serve the Lord in everything. Even now as your time on earth is coming to an end you are still serv-ing him in your attitude and witness toward others around you. Thank you for always pursuing your children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren. I have lots of fond memories with you but one time I will never forget is when you came to stay with us in our house in Plano, TX. You told us so many stories about Nauvoo, your travels to differ-ent places, and your testimony of sharing the Lord with others. They were so exciting and inspiring to hear. As Christians, we know this is not the end but only the great beginning of praising the Lord forever with those who have gone before. Naomi Snyder (Millet)

•Mother Grace, I pray for your comfort and to have a GREAT trip home. Now some things I may not have told you, and for that I apologize. First and foremost know that I love you very much! You are the kindest, greatest mother-in-law EVER! I remember most how wonderful it was to have you live with us for 12 great years, it was a sad day when you moved, but we wanted you to do as you wished. You are always willing to give very wise advise and counsel, but only when asked and never forced your opinions, even if you disagree you don’t say so. You never interfered with the way we raised Anthony and Jennifer or the choices we made and I’m sure you saw some things you would have done differently. None-the-less you kept it to yourself, and I’m sure prayed about it. I don’t want to even imagine where we and so many others would be if not for your constant prayers. One final word, but FAR from least. I couldn’t be more blessed to be marred to one of your wonderful daughters, you did an amazing job raising your children. I’m just glad Ellen said yes and so did you and Pop, I’m grateful and amazed that she is still putting up with me. Well, that’s certainly not all, but all for now. I’ll see you and Pop at home. Love, Dan

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Shall we plan her 103rd birthday

party? Grandma Grace is an enigma.

This morning she slipped into slow

motion and barely spoke. Her eyes

were heavy, she would only accept a

few sips of liquids, and we had to put

our face right next to hers to see if

she was breathing. A blanket of quiet

draped the day.

In the afternoon two hospice caregiv-

ers arrived to see what they could do

to make her comfortable. They were

rearranging her bed when Rebecca

(caregiver from Katherine’s Place)

came in with her 11 year old son.

“Grace, you asked about Kaleb, and

here he is!” Grandma looked up and

her blue eyes smiled, “My, you have

grown taller!”, she said. Kaleb talked

with her for a few minutes and his mom

said they needed to leave. “Goodbye,

Miss Grace”, he said and leaned over

an gave her a kiss.

Then Tracy (she took care of Grams

when she first arrived at Katherine’s

Place two years ago) came in with

her two teens. Another grand reunion,

lots of visiting, and Grandma Grace,

though not exactly lively, managed to

visit and talk and respond. Tracy’s son

told me he had spent hours at a time

with Grandma, listening to her stories,

especially those about Africa. Around

his wrist are four brightly colored

bands, one for each of the four African

children he gave support to. He hopes

to visit Africa some day.

Now there were 8 to 10 people in the

room again, others coming in and

out. Ellen brought her a cozy pink bed

jacket to keep her warm and Jasmine

showed off her curly new hairdo.

Debbie fed her a little soup, Abby

brought in baby Tim to play, then we

took one more 5th-generation picture

because Abby leaves in the morning.

You can see in the picture below,

Grandma was beaming.

The hospice case manager talked with

us about what to expect, and basically

said nobody knows what to expect.

So there it is. If you figure it out, let us

know….

A 103rd Birthday Party?

Monday: April 22, 2013

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Jeff MilletYes!

Carla NodurfthShe’s really having a party:)

Denise OwenPrecious. The visitors keep her thinking. And she is still praying even while she is seeming to be aslepp. My Daddy would open his eyes and keep talking to Jesus.

June Ettinger What a beautiful picture. Wish I was there for the party! I can tell Grandma

Grace is loving the attention from those who love her so much!

Helga Clark Grandma looks so happy.

Kenneth Carol Flynn What a beautiful family. So happy they are with you. We love you

Vicki Rossmeisl Beautiful picture! It was Grandma Grace who gave me the cour-age to do the zip-line

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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a

time to die. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)

CONTEXT:

Grandma Grace had her heart attack

about a week ago, and was sent

back from the hospital in the care of

Hospice.

8:00 am Big box waiting to be opened: roses from Eden. “Tell her thank you and how pretty they are”, she asked. Breakfast tray arrived, Grams sat up and ate without coaxing. Not much, but more than usual.

10:00 am Teresa and Racheal said Grams asked to get her hair done with Delilah at the in-house beauty salon.

REALLY? She wanted to get dressed, so they put her in bright pinks and sat her in her wheelchair.

11:00 am Beauty Salon- We all went along for the spa experience, Marian, Valerie and Jasmine, Debbie, Liz, Ellen

Delilah, really surprised to see her, but went to work making Grams beautiful

12:30 pm Grams back in bed, really tired. We left for lunch.

3:00 pm Grams sitting up, listening to the news and weather with earphones. WHAT? 5:00 pm Dinner tray arrived. She ate all her soup, again without nudging, and all by herself.

5:30 pm Gordon and Bonnie come for a visit, Valerie shows her video of Camp Eagle’s new zip line on an iPad, She says again that she wishes she could see all the new things at Camp Eagle. We show her how the iPhone works with pictures, video, email and phone. “Oh, Really?” she says.

7:30 pm

She’s really tired, back in her nightie,

ready to turn off the lights for the day.

Another day in her amazing journey...

Wednesday: April 24, 2013

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Marian and I talked with the head nurse

here about Grams’ condition. She told

us the usual: She could go at any time,

she could last a while longer. Asking for

more detail, she said with her particular

physical conditions, Grandma Grace

might have a heart or kidney or lung

crisis that would take her quickly. BUT-

then again, she might last for weeks.

We asked her about taking her out for

a spring drive to see the dogwoods and

she said that would be a great thing to

do, if Grace wanted to and felt like she

could do it.

It seemed to me, and I’ve seen this

attitude in my mother before; that

she assessed her situation, and said

to herself, “As long as I’m still here, I

might as well get going”. She’s never

been one to sit back and be waited on.

Her independence is valuable to her,

and she was glad to get just a bit back

today.

It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compas-sions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. (Lamentations 3:22-25)

Jeff MilletLiving up to her name - as always - she is the picture of Grace and strength abun-dant. I couldn’t be more proud of her or be more thrilled that she has rebounded - even if its only for a time.

DEFINITELY take her for a drive to see the Dogwoods she loves. My hope is that she will keep on going like the Energizer Bunny until her Lord calls for her grand final exit and allows her to come roaring in, skid to a stop in a cloud of dust and drop gently into her grave with a big contented smile on her face for having squeezed every last drop of “living” out

of her life here on earth while looking forward toher life ever after with her Lord and Savior.

Heather Chase Senter I loved reading this, Liz... It’s an honor to be even a distant relation to someone as spectacular as she...

Ross JohnsonLiz, thank you so much for your recent posts of your mom’s journey. It has been a blessing to follow with you from a distance. We are praying for you and the family.

FACEBOOK POSTS

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Out for a drive...

Thursday: April 25, 2013

Teresa and Racheal, just two of the angels God has sent ot Grandma in these days.

We’re doing it! Pray for our afternoon drive in the Ozark hills.

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Teresa BardwellShe loaded up in Ellen’s rig with the girls and away they went to view the blooming dogwoods... Love it!!

Missy McPhersonWow Liz. You guys are awesome.

Valerie ChismIt was worth the sneeze.

Jeff MilletAngels indeed!

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Today Ellen found a wonderful leather

horse in an antique store, and we

decided mom would like it as well as

flowers. So Ellen brought it in to her,

and that started another story.

It seems Graces’s papa bought her

older sister a horse, because she was

his favorite daughter. It was a former

race horse, they named it Beauty.

After several years, it was old and tired.

One day, papa hooked him up to the

spring wagon and told Grace to go

to town for the mail. Beauty plodded

long, and Grace was aggravated, she

couldn’t get that horse to pick up his

head and move along. About that

time, another horse and buggy caught

up to her wagon. As it was about to

pass them, Beauty picked up his ears,

lifted his head, and took off running.

Beauty wouldn’t let the buggy pass.

Up and around a bend, the buggy

made a turn off another road, and

the driver hollered to Grace, “That’s

quite a horse you have there!” Grace

replied, “You should have seen him five

minutes ago. “. The buggy faded out

of sight and Beauty faded back to a

plodding walk, head drooping.

The house doctor came in today, and

we all mobbed him to ask what he

thought about Grandma’s condition.

He talked a few technicalities with

Debbie regarding medications

and fluids and blood pressure, but

the conclusion was still the same:

Grace has conditions that are not

“recoverable”. And science can’t

predict a timetable.

He asked a bit about the family, and

looked at the picture quilt with kids,

grand kids and all. After he left, we sat

around talking about going home or

staying a few more days. The doctor

came back and went into Grace’s

room. Debbie was in there, and I went

to the door to see what he wanted. “I

would like to ask Grace something,” he

said, you don’t need to stay. As I turned

to leave, I heard him ask her, “Grace,

would you pray a blessing over me?”

The Horse Story

Friday: April 26, 2013

23

Kristen Ettinger Thankful for every last one of them...

Ross Johnson phenomenal.

Annette Rosemann I appreciate the updates on Aunt Grace. I remember when I used to go to her house when I was a kid. Joyce was my hero then although I was crazy about Marion too. I have many fond memories of growing up in Missouri and Aunt Grace was one of them. I also remem-ber Henny Penny. I know Aunt Grace wouldn’t remember her but I know Mary Lou does. They fixed her for din-ner. Strange thing to remember isn’t it?

Susan Berthold Amazing Grace

Carrie Allen Chase DeSalvo I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m humbled at her passion for prayer..

Casey Weeks Amazing! These are great memories! She keeps making more! I wish the whole family the best!

Diana Verdensky Full of grace, the Lord is with you Grace.

Jenni Green MilletLove hearing her stories! thanks for posting :)

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I didn’t hear her prayer, but he was with

her several minutes, and then hurried

away.

Jasmine asked me later why he asked

her to pray a blessing. I told her it is

because he evidently really believes

that prayer is powerful, and felt he had

a need for it.

When I was saying goodnight to mom,

she asked me what that doctor’s name

is so she could pray for him again.

That’s our Grandma Grace...

24

Saturday: April 27, 2013

25

It has rained for two days, and a soft

mist is hanging low over the Ozark hills

behind Katherine’s Place. Last night

was not good. Grandma Grace was

in distress at 2 am with dizziness and

vomiting. I called the nurse, who gave

her meds for nausea and something

else to help her relax and sleep. She

was shivering so I layered Amy’s cozy

throw over her. The incident left her

fragile and limp all day.

Thankfully, Rebecca and Teresa were

here today, and pampered her all day.

Ellen and Valerie and I suspended our

plans to return home. Grandma is so

happy to have her daughters with her,

none of us can leave. Marti is coming

tomorrow. What’s a couple of weeks

in a lifetime of family?

Later in the day, an email came from

Grace’s sister, Lucy. I read to her:

“Grace, You are a beautiful person,

inside and out. You were such a

loving sister to have included me

in your life as I grew up without

a mother. Thank you for that. It

means the world to me. Some of

the things I will always remember

is how wonderful a cook you were,

and how we shared the love of

antiques. I remember an auction in

Nauvoo we went to and there was

this piece I wanted in the worst way,

but you bid on it and I let you get

it...that’s just the kind of sister I am!!

I have always admired the energy

you always have...I will miss you....

but at 93, it won’t be for long....Love

you...your little sis...Lucy”

Grams experienced FaceTime for the

first time and was absolutely amazed

that she could SEE Craig Chism while

he talked to her. She’ s seen her world

progress from caring for her little

sisters in the candlelight of a country

cabin to being cared for by a host of

loving family and friends with the latest

in innovative technology.

From one human being he (GOD)

created all races of people and made

them live throughout the whole

earth. He himself fixed beforehand

the exact times and the limits of

the places where they would live.

He did this so that they would look

for him, and perhaps find him as

they felt around for him. Yet God is

actually not far from any one of us;

(Acts 17:26, 27 )

Valerie is with Grams tonight. We hope

it will be a quiet night.

A quiet day

26

Two weeks ago today Grandma Grace

had a heart attack…

We wonder… was there a misdiagno-

sis… have all your prayers brought

a miracle… how long can an indefati-

gable mindset overrule a failing physi-

cal condition… does the presence of

loving people bring healing… how

long can a 102 year old body with a

damaged heart can be sustained…

Please comment if you have any

insight for us, because we all seem to

be in denial here; and I think Grandma

Grace is too. We were talking about

the new baby coming soon in the Scott

family, and she said “I haven’t finished

her smocked dress …. yet”.

It’s Sunday, so Valerie played a podcast

of our own Rene Schlaepfer’s message

from Twin Lakes Church for Grandma.

Grandma is being exposed to so much

communication technology that she

is taking it for granted now… Jeff and

family spent some time with her this

evening on FaceTime. When Marti

came today, we showed her pictures of

grandkids on the iPad. In the morning,

now she gets the weather from the

Weather Channel App instead of the

TV.

And as often as you all send emails

or write comments on these posts, we

read them to her. (And by the way, If I

haven’t already told you… she always

says to tell you “Thank You”) She’s

heard from her only sister, from old

friends from Hope Church, from

grandchildren and great grandchildren,

and from good friends. After we read

the message, she often launches into

a story or memory concerning that

person.

It’s a beautiful day, Grams asked if

she could go out in the courtyard a

bit. Teresa and Rebecca got her all

comfortable in a wheelchair, and Ellen

rolled her outside. It was tiring, but she

really enjoyed the fresh air and a peek

at the spirea and triple tulips blooming.

Now, she’s all tucked into her cozy bed.

Her vitals are holding steady, there is a

faced bit of pink in her cheeks, and best

of all, she is usually up for a clever reply

Two weeks ago...

Sunday: April 28, 2013

27

and a little laugh, or of course… one of

her legendary stories. It just doesn’t fit

the picture of a dying woman…

Jasmine asked me today, “If someone

is going to die, why doesn’t God just

take them right away?” We talked

about how God has put us all together

in a “body”, a “family” of believers, and

sometimes what God is doing is not

about the person being affected, but

about others in the family… Grandma

Grace is being blessed with a clear

mind and her family close beside her

in these days. And all of us, her family,

friends, acquaintances… are learning

new lessons in faith each day from her

patience, endurance and sweet spirit.

So- please, by all means, keep on

sending those greetings. She loves

the news about your lives- really, she

does! She continues to live - through

all of you.

Laurie SchlaepferThank you for the updates, Aunt Liz! We are looking daily for any little piece of news from Katherines’ Place! Jenni Green MilletOkay, we have got to figure out how to do Face time!

Mary Lou BuchtaIt seems like that God cherishes Aunt Graces’ prayers and she must still have work to do.

Jan StacyWell, I can tell a few stories... I remem-ber at church, Ed’s watch would go off at 12 o’clock shartp and when everyone finally figured outwho and what it was they just ignored it and let hte preach-ing go on! I also have a little black doll that Grace made when they were doing some mission trips to Afica. I just saw it a little while ago when I was look-ing for something else. Lots of good memories!!

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28

The hospice chaplain visited today,

and he had a lot to say about heaven.

Remarking on Grandma Graces

longevity, he said, “Only God knows

when her time will come, and He ain’t

talking.” He said Grandma told him

on his first visit that she was ready to

go, but here she is, content to stay

around for a while. It’s a balance you

rarely see, either a person will long for

“the Lord to take me”, or will lament

that they are “not ready for heaven

yet…” But Grandma Grace seems to

have one foot in heaven and the other

planted here with us.

We decided that tomorrow we’ll take

a day away, and visit the International

Festival at Silver Dollar City. “You

should go!”, Grandma insisted. “I want

you girls to have a good time while

you’re here”. Debbie said we should

take lots of pictures and bring them

back to show her, because she is living

these days through us.. Today we went

to a Thrift Store, and came back with

our finds. She wanted to be shown

every little thing we bought. “Did you

see any skirts?”, she wanted to know…

Ellen bought her a soft and fuzzy blue

bed jacket, and put it on her to keep

her warm.

Only God knows...

Tuesday: April 30, 2013

FACEBOOK POSTS

Lois Lanham -Liz, I am so enjoying your journals of such a beautiful story. Your writing is so descriptive; I feel like I am witnessing first-hand the love and tenderness surrounding your mom as you and your family walk this journey with her. Thank you so much for sharing. It is truly beautiful.

Brooke Chase Owen -This is such a beautiful picture of so many things-

family, heaven, God, a life well- lived...Thank you for sharing.

Annette Rosemann -I really appreciate your info on Aunt Grace. I just wish I could be there too. Thanks so much.

Susan Berthold -Wow, thank-you so much. I sent your post to family who don't follow facebook.

29

But Grandma was not so perky today,

slept a lot, didn’t talk as much. I asked

her how she felt, and she said, “Just

tired”.

I’ve been working on my computer in

a back office, and one of the nurses

came through. “You should know

that we here at Katherine’s Place are

really impressed with your family and

how you are taking care of your mom/

grandma. It’s the way it should be, but

unfortunately, we don’t see many cases

of all the family rallying around. But of

course, Miss Grace is really special to

us, too. We just love her.”

With Grandma’s vitals holding steady,

the nurses and hospice are telling us

she might be around a while yet. (Then

they tell us something could happen

at any moment, as well). It looks

like Valerie and Jasmine will leave for

home with Ellen on Thursday. Ellen is

going to take care of some business,

then return the following week, maybe

Tuesday.

If all is the same, I will probably make

the two day trip home when she

returns. But it’s still one day at a time.

If it was up to us, we would love to

circle around her when the Lord says,

“come”. We want her to know she’s

not alone in her amazing journey- the

Lord, of course, is always by her side;

and her daughters are there to help her

in the chariot.

30

Jeff Millet Wonderful. Why not re-evalu-ate? She’s encountered a few miracles in her time. Perhaps God has yet another in store for her. It would certainly be fitting for one of her faith.

Helga Clark That is so very true !

Susan Berthold WOW! I love you Aunt Grace!

Susan Berthold Liz, PLEASE email or post the video of dinner! Is it on You Tube? It will bring wonderful memories for many of us who have been to Kijabe!

Camille Bridgman Millet - wish I had been there to partake with you. Reminds me of when I was in Kenya.

Valerie Chism - ‘twas delicious and delightful!

FACEBOOK POSTS

Thursday, May 2, 2013

31

Another chapter in the book of

Grandma Grace’s amazing journey.

Last night Debbie fixed us an

authentic African dinner, with all kinds

of dishes I can’t spell, like “ungali”,

which we called “Oh golly!” I made a

three minute video of her explaining

each dish (with our irreverent remarks)

so we could show Grandma later. She

is having a lot of trouble with her eyes

in the last few days, with seeing well

and with pain, but we held the iPhone

close and she watched. I had to keep

stopping and starting, because she

wanted to ask about the food, some of

which she remembered from her years

in Kenya.

We (myself, Marian, Marti, Ellen,

Debbie, Valerie and Jasmine) went to

Silver Dollar City today. After a really

beautiful day outdoors, we tumbled

into Grams room with pictures,

descriptions, videos, and stories from

the day. The rest of Katherine’s Place

was quiet and dark, but her room was

bubbling with conversation. By the

time everyone left, Grandma pretty

much felt like she had been out for the

day, too.

Those of you who read these posts

about these days with Grandma Grace,

I need you to pray that we will have

some understanding of how she is

doing physically. She is under the care

of hospice, and by the very nature of

that wonderful organization, they are

limited to palliative care.

My concern is that Grandma may be

a special situation. Her condition does

not seem to be deteriorating, and I

would really like to see a reevaluation,

but of course, hospice does not

function that way. Tomorrow I’m going

to see if we can get a doctor to take

another look. Common sense and

diagnosis has concluded that this 102+

woman won’t last long, but everyone

around her is really wondering about

that.

By the way, we visited the quilt shop

at Silver Dollar City, and Ellen, who is

ALWAYS bringing something back to

mom, found a ribboned pincushion

and scissor set to keep around the

neck. She draped it around her, and

Grams thought it was really a handy

tool. Who knows, maybe she will

actually use it yet.

One of the nurses here keeps saying,

“I don’t think her ladder to heaven is

finished yet!”

Another chapter...

32

Friday, May 3, 2013

Camille Bridgman Millet- LOVE that mental picture. Tell Grace how much I love her!

Mary Lou BuchtaAmen...give her our love

Diana Verdensky - Prays for peace go out to all. What a blessing for you to have this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

FACEBOOK POSTS

33

Marti pulled out a box of pictures that

all of you have sent in the past year, and

showing them to Grandma. You might

be surprised how much each of you are

thought about and fondly remembered.

Marti pulled out a picture of Nate and

his dog, and Grandma turned her head

to say, “You tell Nathan that I’m not

leaving until he gets a wife!” Oh-ho!

Now we know what is going on here!

(Nate don’t be mad, you know she’s a

matchmaker at heart!)

Another up and down night and day.

Troubles with those aching knees,

she got a pain pill at 5 am, but was

still hurting later when Ellen, Valerie

and Jasmine came in to say goodbye.

Valerie had a parting gift that she

bought at Silver Dollar City. It is a 24”

square of rice and flaxseed stitched into

4” partitions between soft flannel. She

put it in the microwave for 2 minutes,

and laid it over Grandma’s knees. I

wished you could have seen the relief

sweep over her body. We’ll be using it

a lot, not only for pain (hopefully she

will get a cortisone injection soon) but

also just the warmth on her skin and

bones. Grandma had another pain

issue later, and was given morphine by

mouth.

She was in that semi-sleep state

when Bonnie Whitlock and her

granddaughter came for a visit. Bonnie

whispered “Hi Grace” in her good

ear. Grandma opened her eyes with

difficulty and responded with a very

weak, “Hello”. Bonnie introduced her

granddaughter, who came up close

to Grandma’s bedside. “Well hello!,”

Grams then couldn’t resist the charm

of a child, and carried on a lively

interchange with her. It is a wonderful

thing to watch, how this woman

continually puts aside her physical

limitations in order to show genuine

concern and interest to others.

She illustrates in real time these

principles given to us in the New

Testament:

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is

evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted

to one another in love. Honor one

another above yourselves. Never

be lacking in zeal, but keep your

spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be

joyful in hope, patient in affliction,

faithful in prayer. Share with the

Lord’s people who are in need.

Practice hospitality.”

Romans 12:9-13

I don’t have a photo of the day. Keep

instead in your mind the picture of

Grandma Grace emerging from a

groggy state of morphine- and smiling

at a child because she can’t keep God’s

love cooped up inside.

Photo of the day...

34

Psalm 73: 26 “My flesh and my

heart faileth; but God is the strength

of my heart, and my portion forever”

Grandma Grace’s knees are giving her

trouble. Valerie’s microwave flannel

pad gives the most relief, and we have

been warming it every 3-4 hours. Our

amazing nurse, Cheryl wrote up an

order for a Cortisone injection with a big

note asking for timely response and an

in-house visit. She told us even if they

could get a doctor to make a house

call, it would take a week to get the

supplies through the ordering system.

“Probably a week from Monday would

be a possibility”’ she said.

About 9 am, a doctor came in Grams’

room, unpacked his medical bag,

and explained he had come to give

the injection. Take heart, America-

there is still a caring practitioner who

will make a compassionate call on a

Sunday morning, bringing his own

supplies and equipment. Without any

fanfare, he completed the injection and

patted Grams’ shoulder, telling her she

should feel some relief very soon. And

he was gone-

Grandma is very appreciative of the

care she is given. “Those CNA’s, “ she

said, referring especially to Rebecca,

Teresa and Rachel, “They work so

hard. And- “ she added from her store

of aged wisdom, “Some people have a

job, and some people have a ministry”.

It seems each day is getting a bit

quieter. She slept most of the day

today. Occasionally, she talks in her

sleep, or from her dreams, and it is

always about people- “Ellen!” She

almost shouted last night, “what are

you doing with all those books?” She’s

A gift for Grace

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Jan StacyShe is always thinking of others! You just gotta love a woman that always think os others first. Love her!!

Helga Clark - YOu are the Best, Liz.

Jeff Millet ‘ Thanks Liz for your stead-fast chronicles.

Susan Berthold - Thank you Liz for bringing tears of “closeness”...

FACEBOOK POSTS

35

called out other names: Jeff, Lucy, and

some I can’t make out. One time it was,

“Ben- is he here, I thought he was still

at school”. It’s another evidence that

her practice of prayer is continuing in

a semi-conscious state. At times, I’ve

been glad nobody can read my mind.

But for Grandma, I think we can see

what is on hers!

She tells us often to thank everyone

who has sent letters, cards, flowers,

and emails that we read to her. She’s

watched Valerie’s hummingbirds from

an emailed video; laughed at Sue

B’s picture from the Spice Shop with

her favorite seasoning, Beau Monde;

listened to fiddle music sent through

iTunes from Jeff; smelled the gently

opening rose, the first of the spring,

from Marian’s garden. Thanks to all of

you who are accompanying her on this

last part of her amazing journey.

PS- Grams just woke up, 5:30 pm. “Oh,

goodness, did I sleep all day?” She

asked. “Pretty much” was the reply.

“Well, I’m just no good “, she said

disgustedly. “Did you tell that doctor

thank you for coming in?”

36

Praise God as time stands still.

•

Between interrupted sleep and long

uneventful hours, minutes seem

like quarter hours and hours seem

like afternoons. Emotions bounce

from panic to sadness to delight to

contentedness and back again to near

to tears. Microwaving the heating pad

takes two minutes, and the seconds

tick off so slowly, everything seems

to be moving in s-l-o-w-m-o-t-i-o-n…

I’ve been here 20 days, living in the

assisted living facility, using mom’s

shower, working on my computer in

a back room, doing my laundry and

walking the folded clothes out to the

trunk of my car. Wearing the same

clothes, sick of McDonalds food, can’t

remember what my house looks like.

Praise God as vigor is diminished.

•

Most of my mind on mom’s smallest

most intimate needs. “You should have

been a nurse”, she said as I soaked her

dry eyes with a warm cloth, carefully,

because her skin is so delicate it might

tear. I’m thinking, “Never! I couldn’t do

this if it wasn’t YOU.” Not that I’m the

only one- all the sisters have done the

same, as well as granddaughters and

of course, her very attentive caregivers

at Katherine’s Place.

A Psalm of last days

Monday, May 6, 2013

37

Praise God as questions remain

questions.

•Illogically, I think if I leave she will die.

As long as I’m here, she lives. But I can’t

stay forever. How long should I stay,

why am I here, how can I leave, what is

so important that I should leave… I am

over-thinking this. Life crowds in and

make demands of responsibilities and

appointments. There really isn’t time

to sit at the bedside of a dying mother.

One can’t be expected to cancel

everything. She is receiving loving

care and there is nothing that can be

done to change the inevitable end.

This is not a tradition required by our

American culture. There are nursing

homes, hospice facilities, many types

of terminal care.

Praise God to know who I am.

•

But I can’t go home. Just the thought

of leaving, knowing I will NEVER see

her alive again… I am unable to make

that decision. I’m so blessed to be here.

It is a privilege, a gift to do exactly what

I want to do. I am content to sit with

her and sleep by her bed, letting her

know she is not alone. It is for me, it

is for her, it is for the inestimable value

of family. It is for God, who ordained a

holy manner of living. It is for… love.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

38

Jenni Green Millet -Love and hugs to you Liz! Thank you for posting. I am so glad she isn’t alone and has you and the others there to care for her. It is a beauti-ful visual testament of the love of God poured out through others.

Valerie Chism - Reminds me of Anne Voscamp’s statement that”ALL is grace.” Each moment is offering us gifts to be recognized and to be thankful for...the heavy ones and the light ones.

June Ettinger - THANKS SO MUCH, Liz, for writing this beautiful letter to us all. It made me cry as I knew it was coming from your heart. You will never regret the time spent with Mom. This is an extra precious time that is building memories that can only be captured NOW. You are so faithful in keeping us informed. You’ll never know how much it is appreciated by each family member - especially we who live too far away to be there. I am copying each letter and putting it in my book of memories - my ancestry book. My love to each one of you.

Steve Wolcott - Thanks Aunt Liz for shar-ing from your heart.

Betty Hamilton - Beautiful.

Shawn Bridgman - Never apologize for doing the right thing...blessings to all in this bittersweet time!

Sarah Ettinger Chills!- That’s a beautiful psalm.

Mary Lou Buchta - Liz I so understand...for I miss my mom so much, your Aunt Bonnie and it has been over 14 years. But I have the memories of those times with her...those precious moments without regret. I miss my dad as well, both gone in just a few months from each other...but we have hope...knowing we will see them again..not frail...but in a way our minds cannot fathom. Praise the LORD for hope and GOD bless you and your whole family.

Jeff Millet- The apologies should perhaps be made to people like you from people like me who are not quite as selfless as you. YOU - along with my aunts Marian, Martha and Ellen, and my cousins Debbie and Valerie, along with her caregivers Rebecca, Teresa, Rachel and friends like Bonnie and Gordon, and others I am overlooking, are a ALL heroes to me. You are there representing our family as living examples of the Christian values Grandma Grace has toiled her whole life to instill in us all. You all are her greatest living legacy and the foundation and future of our family. Even though she’s physically weak, I suspect that spiritually she’s as strong as an ox, and more than willing to lend you as much of her stamina as you need. The kind that comes through her daily prayers for us all. Thank you Liz for your tireless, gracious efforts.

Cindy Booker Millet - Love you Liz! I so appreciate your genuine honesty! That is what draws so many people to you!

Jan Stacy- Oh cherish those moments however long or short they are. I miss my mom quite often and wish I had more of those moments!! You can never get time back so you just stay as long as you want!!

Laurie Schlaepfer- It gives me great comfort to know you are there!!

Missy McPherson- Liz - thank you for sharing this. God is blessing you and through you others as you participate in this part of your mother’s life. You know me all too well - I always wonder at the reason and purpose and what it all means ... but I believe that God i...See More

Camille Bridgman Millet- I am so glad you are able to be there with her and hope that I can do the same for my own mom someday. Your heartfelt words made the tears flow.

FACEBOOK POSTS

39

Grace, born in 1910 in a cabin in the

Ozarks, is a real live time traveller.

Communication was face to face or

hand written letters that might take a

week or more to reach its destination.

In Nauvoo, we had a wooden wall

phone with a long black earpiece on a

cord, a couple of round metal ringers,

and a mouthpiece mounted in the

middle. If it rang, we had to listen for

OUR ring, which was three longs and a

short. The neighbor who often listened

in on the “party” line told Grams that

she was mad at the lady up the bLock.

“She said I am a nosy neighbor!”, she

complained. “ I never listen in”.

“How, then,” asked Grams of the

neighbor, “did you know she said

that?” Recalling the incident, Grams

laughs, “She was caught in her own

lie!”

Fast forward to 2013, smart phones,

and FaceTime. A couple of you have

connected and talked to Grandma

Grace using FaceTime. She was

mystified at first, then delighted. But it

is hard for her to see the small screen,

and difficult to hear as well. Today, Jen

solved that with a cord and adapter to

the TV. Now Grams can see a larger

picture and hear using the earphones

already remotely connected. We tested

Time travelling

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

40

the system by bringing up a new video

of the zipline at Camp Eagle. “Oh, my

goodness,” she exclaimed, watching

four simultaneous flyers coast over the

treetops.

We kidded her about hooking her in,

how easy it would be, and all she’d

have to do is enjoy the ride. After all,

she was 90 when Anthony put her on

the old zip line and sent her flying.

Later, two aides brought a portable

weighing contraption into the room.

“We’re going to weigh you, Miss Grace,”

they told her, and proceeded to roll her

onto a large blue pad, then clip it onto

a hoist. “What can you get for me, “

Grams joked, “10 cents a pound?” I

took one look at her dangling in mid-

air, and decided the Lord put her in

training for Camp Eagle’s new zip line.

Valerie Chism - Looks to me like you’re ready to zip! I’ll go with you!

Mary Lou Buchta -- Amazing...love her so much

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41

For by me thy days shall be

multiplied, and the years of thy life

shall be increased. Prov. 9:11

Grandma missed the glory train. She

was sick for weeks and weeks with

dizziness, diarrhea, and vomiting. She

contracted C-Dif. She had a heart

attack, and was sent to the hospital.

We sisters got the dreaded phone call,

preparing our hearts the for inevitable.

Grams pulled through the crisis she

says was the worst pain she’ s ever

known. “ I hope I never have to go

through that again”, she says. We

learned a new term: “Aortic dissection”.

Wikipedia states,” Aortic dissections

resulting in rupture have an 80%

mortality rate, and 50% of patients die

before they even reach the hospital.

The risk of death is high in untreated

aortic dissection. While the risk is very

high in the first 24 hours of the event,

those that survive the initial event still

have an elevated mortality. 75% of

those with ascending aortic dissection

who are not treated die within 2 weeks.

Grandma Grace is 102 and a half and

medical logic placed her into hospice

care. That was 26 days ago.

As you all know,Grandma Grace is

not one to lay around and wait for

the inevitable. She possesses a great

deal of fortitude, and has survived

tuberculosis, a botched C-Section, a

broken hip at age 100, and who knows

what else. Her physical heart will fail at

some point in the future, but for now,

she is stable again. Frail, weak, but

stable. Day by day, we have watched

the blood pressure levels, the oxygen

levels, and the kidney output. Steady.

Stable. Her color is good, her mind is

sharp, her spirit is dependably buoyant.

The smoke from the engine of the

glory train fades into the distance, day

by day.

I wrote the following five days after her

heart attack: “Tonight Grandma Grace

sleeps at a place called Katherine’s

Place… Through the last couple of

days, more than 50 people have come

to say hello from great distances,

bringing their children, dropping

their daily responsibilities, expending

themselves for a few minutes with an

frail old woman. Something happened

here, and they have been blessed.

Grandma’s room became hallowed

ground. There was room for everyone

to squeeze in this afternoon, when

spontaneously, they shared in prayer,

sang a hymn together and read

Scripture.” Since that weekend, family

and friends have made a visit, spoken

Steady. Stable.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

42

through FaceTime, and sent email

messages. Local friends have dropped

in for pleasant visits, brought in babies

and grandchildren, some have quietly

come in and asked for prayer.

We should never underestimate

unrecognized effect of love. Perhaps,

in addition to Grandma Grace ‘s

own indomitability, the enormous

outpouring of attention and care from

her devoted family and friends and

caregivers has been noted by the Lord

who numbers our days. In Isaiah 38,

there is a recorded incident of extra

years of life extended to Hezekiah. God

does interact in the lives of His people,

especially to those who have the faith

to ask.

We who have witnessed this amazing

journey of Grandma Grace should not

be amazed at this most recent incident.

What we should we amazed at, is that

God has granted us a bit more of her.

Until that glory train comes by again,

(and it could still be soon), Grandma’s

prayers and presence continue to

nourish all of us who know her.

Praise God from who all blessings flow.

43

Friday, May 10, 2013

1. Grandma Grace was settled and

sleepy after breakfast when there was

a knock on the door. “I just dropped

in to see Grace a minute, “ she said.

She reminded Grace that her mother,

Wilma, had shared the Cottonwood

Wing. “The day that my Mom passed,

well, I can hardly talk about it,” she

said. “My family are Christians, and

they all came in that day, and we sang

to her, all day. “ She wiped her eyes.

“That was about a year ago.”

“The reason I came in, she continued,

“is that I remembered how much

Grace loved missions. I am going on

a missions trip to Haiti, leaving in a

week. I came to ask Grace to pray for

our work and safety.”

All this was repeated into Grandma

Grace’s best ear loudly. “ I will be

praying,” she said simply with a nod.

2. A young woman with a teenage

boy and a five year old boy, both

in cowboy boots were waiting for

Grandma Grace to get comfortable in

her chair. The mom came in brightly,

introducing herself to me as a friend

from Nicodemus Church. The boys

came in a bit shyly. Grandma Grace

remembered that the mom rode

horses. “My sons ride more than I do

now”, she said. “Tell Miss Grace about

your ride the other day, “ she said to

the five year old.

That was all the direction he needed.

He pulled off his riding boots, and

slipped in beside Grams’ chair. Usually

Grams tells the stories, but today she

listened. “I was ridin’ Lucky, (later

described as a very old, opinionated,

shoeless horse) and we got to the

creek, and he laid down in the water!”

Unexpected Visitors

44

“Growing up we had to wear brogans.

They were clunky, brown high topped

shoes, and mine never fit very well.

Once we were walking down Main

Street between Cass and Easton.

There were shops on both sides of

the street, and I saw a window with

shoes. There was a pair of black patent

leather shoes with straps. They were

shiny, and I wanted them, but I was told

they weren’t practical.

“I remember my first pair of new shoes.

They took a group of us from the City

Of brown serge and brogans

Saturday: May 11, 2013

He took a big breath and continued, “I

had to jump off him so he wouldn’t roll

over me!”

Grandma Grace was really enjoying

this yarn. “Sounds like you knew what

to do,” she said.

“Yup, and later, after I was riding him

again, that Lucky, he took me in the

thorns,”. We asked him all about that

narrow escape, and Grandma put in

her two cents worth about stubborn

horses.

3. Everybody was busy, busy with

the food tray, busy with the blood

pressure machine, busy taking our

the trash. We hardly noticed when a

young girl holding a baby squeezed

beside Grandma’s bed. “Miss Grace,

it’s Selena. I was your CNA a while

back, remember?” Grandma nodded.

“I wanted to show you my baby! This

is Eva.” She plopped the plump,

beribboned baby girl on Gram’s bed.

Grandma Grace lit up like a chandelier,

and started playing with the baby “Can

I keep her,” she laughed. The baby

snuggled right under the blankets

with Grams, all the while giggling and

bobbing her pink headband.

4. Bev Knoner, just back with her

husband from a missions trip in the

area where Debbie and Steve Wolcott

worked, (the Ssese Islands) came

in to talk about what they did there.

Grandma Grace lit up with memories

and ended up storytelling instead of

listening. Some of the best years of

her life!

Unexpected visitors, angels in

disguise?

45

Gospel Mission (in St. Louis) down to

the Enna Jetick factory. Our feet were

measured and we were given shoes. I

don’t remember choosing them, we

would have been too embarrassed to

say what we liked.

“When I worked at the Washington

University library, I only owned one

dress. It was brown serge. When it was

dirty I washed it by hand at night and

pressed it in the morning. A lady there

gave me two dresses in a bag and said

maybe I knew somebody who could

use them. I gave them to my sister

Pearl, because I didn’t think they were

for me.”

As I listen to my mother’s stories, I

think about the way God crafted her

life. She is cut from cloth that isn’t

available anymore. She made choices

about humility, patience and faith

when circumstances were almost

unbearable. Listening to her, I don’t

think she is aware of the courage and

spirit she showed to overcome attitudes

of despair, anger, depression,or

lethargy that might have given her an

entirely different character.

She could have accepted an attitude

of fatalism, waiting on fate or others

to alleviate her distress. At the

other extreme, she could have had

confidence in her own abilities and

character to seek success on her

own. But she is “Grace”. And it was

her acceptance of God’s grace that

nurtured those qualities of the Spirit

that we see in her these days.

It was a life-long process of accepting

her circumstances as God’s schooling,

believing that He is good. She looked

beyond her reality to an eternal

destination, and chose to follow God.

She hopes and prays that we have

done the same.

My Dad used to say he was obviously

not a proud man. How did we know

that? “Because God gives grace to the

humble!”, he would laugh, quoting the

verse from James.

The grace bestowed upon Grace’s

humble life is so evident now, as she

is given honor by those who know her,

love by those who have been nurtured

by her, and respect from many,

something she never would have

imagined as a girl wearing ill-fitting,

clunky brogans. And heaven is still

ahead!

46

A sister-mother relationship

Today, I called my Aunt Lucy, (Grandma

Grace’s youngest sister) who is 93 and

lives in Missouri. If you remember the

story, their mother died when Grace

was 13 and Lucy would have been a

toddler of two and a half. It was a crazy

conversation. Lucy can’t talk very loud,

and mom can’t hear very well, so I had

to be the go between. The Grigg girls

tried to one-up each other with one

liners.

“Grace, I had a garage sale today, and I got $40!”

“Really? I haven’t got 40 cents!”

“You want me to send it to you?”

“No, I don’t need a thing.”

“Well, how are you doing?”

“Getting in as much trouble as I can!”

Grandma’s eyes lit up hearing her

sister’s voice, even ever so faintly.

They exchanged small talk for a while

through me listening to Lucy, then

shouting in Grandma’s best ear. Aunt

Lucy, out of breath from talking, finally

said, “Give her a big hug for me. And

tell her “Happy Mother’s Day,” because

she’s the only mother I’ve ever had. “

A niece- mother relationship

My beloved cousin Jerry has told me,

oh so many times that “Aunt Grace

was like a mother to me.” Grandma

Grace had that way of taking in others

who needed nurturing. And she did

it so matter-of -factly, not expecting

anything in return. Jerry wrote a couple

of weeks ago, “We’re asking Jesus to

take away the C-Diff and to touch your

frail body with healing from Him. He

has plans for you, and we all need you.”

A homeless child-mother relationship

It was a snowy Thanksgiving night, and

How many ways to say, “Mother”?

Saturday night, May 11, 2013

FACEBOOK POSTS

Mary Lou Buchta - I sent Aunt Lucy pictures of Aunt Grace drinking her malt and the one with the horses...she was so happy....me too.

Liz Peters -We’ll try to call her tomorrow

and see if they can hear each other. Two plucky, great ladies- your mom, too!

Mary Lou Buchta- Aunt Lucy could hear me OK but will having a garage/porch sale tomorrow....

47

a county official knocked on the door

to ask Grace to take in two homeless

boys. “No, “ she replied, “I have girls,

and I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

When told they had no place to take

these two, Grace couldn’t turn them

away. Larry and Terry lived with us as

family for several years.

An African house helper- mother

relationship

Grandpa Ed and Grandma Grace

hosted a guest house for AIM in

Kenya, and “adopted” a young African

known as “Brown Jim”. In their usual

hospitable way, they brought him into

their kitchen, and over Grandma’s hot

rolls and coffee, talked about the Lord.

Long after they returned to the states,

Brown Jim continued to write to them,

and they arranged to send sermon

tapes to him for Bible study.

A son and daughter- mother

relationship

Grace and Ed had one son and five

daughters, spread out from 1930

to 1952. It was like having several

families, because some children had

left home when younger ones were

born. From a diary Grace wrote in

the mid-50’s, we see into the heart of

this Christian mother: “I once told

the Lord, “Use all my children.” He

gave them to me, I give them back.

We have tried in our feeble way to place

the Lord first in our lives. The Lord

has been with us, and I ‘m sure He

will continue to be. We shall count

it all well if we see our children

walking in His statutes and in His

will for them. My prayer is that

perhaps my children won’t have

to be dealt with as I, that they may

learn their lessons an easier way,

but learn them they must to have

true spirituality. “

Mother’s Day has come to Katherine’s

Place, and the bed in Room 105 is the

seat of honor.

48

Tomorrow I will sit on Grandma

Grace’s bedside and let her know I

am going home to Florida. She defies

all the logic that dictates her demise.

Today, she ate lunch with us in the

dining room, dressed in her lively

blue jacket and scarf, with matching

earrings Ellen put on her. (I named

Ellen “Auntie Bling” years ago for her

attention to accessories.)

We ate “chicken ala king”, a dish that

Grandma Grace served in her Tea

Room at Nauvoo in the early 60’s,

and fresh tender asparagus. Normally,

Grams sniffs at her lunch tray, takes a

bite or two and waves her bony hand

dismissing the tray. “I don’t want

anymore, “she says wearily, while we

try to coax a couple more bites. Today,

she finished everything on her colorful

How to say goodbye

Sunday, May 12, 2013 MOTHER’S DAY

FACEBOOK POSTS

Mary Lou Buchta - Tell Aunt Grace Happy Mother’s Day...I have been calling Aunt Lucy and reading the wonderful words from Liz. Thanks Liz for the updates and the wonderful pictures you paint.

Jim Booker - I’m so lucky to have you as my cousin. Love all of you. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.

Jenni Green Millet - Please tell Grandma

Happy Mother’s Day from us! And Happy Mother’s day to you, Marian, Marti, Ellen and Debbie too. Not sure who else is still there.

Shawn Bridgman - Oh how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowl-edge! How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways! Rom. 11:33

49

plate. We dished up a small serving of

the warm blackberry pie and added a

scoop of ice cream, and she ate all that

too.

Debbie brought a dinner guest, a pastor

from Bunia who is taking a class at

John Brown University. It seemed like

old times again in the Ettinger house;

good food on pretty dishes, and an

extra plate at the table.

Just a month ago, we arrived with

expectations of planning a memorial

service. Now we are seriously

wondering about a 103rd birthday

party.

Grandma never used a computer or

owned an iPhone. But she’s really

enjoying the technology of FaceTime.

She chatted with Jeff and family,

(using the wireless headphone and

watching the TV), and chuckled at

seeing all their dogs. Then Valerie

called, and she talked with her and the

girls while they sat on the parking lot

at Starbucks. It’s still a bit confusing,

though. When we played a video from

Jen Mitroff, she thought she was back

on FaceTime, and kept waving back to

the boys!

Before our Mother‘s Day party was over,

the African pastor took Grandma’s

hand and prayed for her. He asked for

a blessing, and for strength for her frail

body. He closed by asking God to be

present in this place, so that God’s

glory would shine.

From all I have seen this past month,

that prayer was answered before it was

even offered.

And now I can go home. The memorial

service can be planned another time.

50

My mother’s hands are thin and bony,

she can’t keep them warm. The nurse

has to rub her finger briskly before

taking the oxygen measurement to

get a reading. As I sat beside her to

say goodbye, she gripped my hands

in hers and said, “Your hands are so

warm!’

“I am sorry I have to go. “

“I wish you could stay. I hate to see you

leave. I don’t know if I’ll ever see you

again.“

“I think you will. You have been stable

for weeks now. I will come back in about

a month.” I paused, then plunged

ahead with the words that must be

said. “And if the Lord comes for you

before that, you’re ready to go. “

“Yes, “ she said, “I am. I’ve been

thinking about the 23rd Psalm,” she

said, and started to recite it. I joined in

with her and together we quoted the

words as a duet:

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall

not want.

He maketh me to lie down in

green pastures:

he leadeth me beside the still

waters.

He restoreth my soul:

he leadeth me in the paths of

righteousness for his name’s

sake.

Yea, though I walk through the

valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with

me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort

me.

Thou preparest a table before me

in the presence of mine enemies:

thou anointest my head with oil;

my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall

follow me all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the house of the

Lord for ever.”

Shadows of death, glimmers of heaven

Monday, May 14, 2013

51

“That part about the shadow of death”,

she said, “ I’ve been thinking a lot

about that. I wonder if I will be able

to see what I’ve escaped,” she said.

“Because it says the shadow, but He

will walk with me through the valley.

“Then I will see Ed and Joyce and Jim

and Paul and Greg. And my mother. “

She paused. “ I think I will see my father

there. He told me when he died, ‘I don’t

know what the Lord will do with me,

I’ve run from Him all my life‘. When

my sister stayed with me, she said she

heard Papa praying in the night. So

I think he believed in God, but wasn’t

obedient. “

She clung to my hands. We sat in

silence a few minutes. “I hope all my

grandchildren and great grandchildren

will accept the Lord. I hope they will be

obedient to Him. I keep praying for all

of them. “

“I know you do, mom. And God will

keep after them”.

We exchanged more personal words,

and I kissed her withered forehead.

Ellen came in and mom prayed for

safety as we drive, and a blessing on

our lives.

We drove away in the morning shadows

with the glimmer of sun arising.

Heather Chase Senter- Tears stream down my face.... How I wish I could keep this perspective when saturated in the shallow, competitive, busyness of life... To live each day like she lives....I will miss your daily updates, Liz.

Susan Berthold My heart is heavy for you Liz as you travel home with your beautiful thoughts.

FACEBOOK POSTS

52

I was home less than three weeks,

when I got the dreaded phone call.

We’ve approached my mother’s

hospice experience one day at a time.

It’s impossible to plan for an uncertain

future. In the process, we’ve discovered

the meaning of these words: “How we

spend our days is, of course, how we

spend our lives.” (Annie Dillard)

Sunday evening, Missy and I arrived at

Grandma Grace’s bedside after a day

on the road from St. Louis. We just

missed Jeff, driving back to Dallas

after spending a few hours with her. We

met Marian, Debbie, Ellen; and Marti

(just arrived yesterday from Florida).

Grandma was happy as could be that

all her daughters were with her, and

we spent time chattering with one

another, and writing on a whiteboard to

Grandma, who cannot hear at all.

Abruptly, Grandma blurted out to me,

“Did they tell you I was going to kick

the bucket?”

Stunned for only a moment, I burst out

laughing with her. Much later, I realized

how philosophically deep was her

countrified quip. Think how fearless,

how at peace, how humble

and cheerful one must be to make that

expression!

There are hours that seem to be her

last hours. Her congestive cough is

deep and rough. She sleeps deeply

and long. There are painful times of

dizziness, dry heaving, excruciating

leg pains. Then a moment of grace

interrupts. A visitor stands beside her

bed, she opens those blue eyes, and

weakly says, “hi”. Still thinking of you

first.

Today I spent an hour and a half setting

up my iPad with your emails and

Facebook comments for her to read.

Then she would tell me what she

wanted to say to you. I am living her life

with her, as a great grandson tells her

he is at Kejabe, where she and Grandpa

Ed lived for a while. Pictures of great

Wednesday June 5, 2013

Another ultimatum...

53

grandchildren fill her with delight. A

great-niece and her daughter tell of

their trip to Haiti. Bunches of hugs are

emailed and posted.

Then this from her niece; “Hi Aunt

Grace...as I was doing my devotions

and praying...I of course thought of

you...and I was talking to God about

you and asked Him what work you

still had to do for Him here. The

words that came to mind was pray...

our country is in big trouble and

God listens to a righteous person

like yourself...James 5:16 comes to

mind...The effective, fervent prayer

of a righteous man (woman)avails

much. So we are in desperate need of

your prayers...many hugs and much

love.” (Marilou Buchta)

She was tucked in for night and

sleeping when Brittany came to check

on her. Since she woke up, I just had

to pick up the whiteboard and dash off

one more email just received. “Good

news! Lucy is on her way down to

see you. I talked her into coming

down this weekend. We will leave

Friday morning-” (Kim Wiley)

“My sister!”, she said to Brittany (CNA)

with excitement. “She’s coming - what

day is this?”

Grandma Grace is counting the days

and I’m counting my blessings. I am a

witness to grace personified.

“Beauty and grace are performed

whether or not we will or sense them.

The least we can do is try to be there”.

(Annie Dillard)

FACEBOOK POSTS

Mary Lou Buchta -I am so happy that Aunt Lucy will be able to visit. She was so happy to know when Aunt Grace was able to take a trip to see the countryside with you girls before...and now she will be able to see her only sister. May God bless each moment for both of them.

Annette Rosemann -It will be so wonder-ful to have the sisters reunited again. I wish Mom were joining them. I’m sure Aunt Grace will once again be reunited with Bonnie, Pearl,

Annette Rosemann -Liz, thanks so much for keeping the family posted about Aunt Grace. I missed it so much when you went home. It is so appreciated.

Mary Lou Buchta -I have to agree...we felt a big empty hole open up...but now you are back...I was so glad that Jeff posted as well....we love you all.

54

Everyone on the Cottonwood wing

of Katherine’s Place knew Grandma

Grace’s sister was coming today. I

think Grandma felt like I did as a kid

on Christmas Eve, and the hours of the

day were filled with happy anticipation.

Grandma last visited with Lucy on

her 100th birthday. They talked

briefly on the phone a few times, but

communication was difficult.

Grandma still cannot hear, and she

is getting drops, preparing for a

procedure to clear her ears scheduled

for Sunday. I asked the floor nurse,

Kristie, if she could possibly check

Grace’s ears and see if the drops

had worked enough to clear her ears

today, so she might be able to hear her

sister’s voice. She thought it might be

a possibility. A bunch of us gathered

around, including Teresa and Rachel,

who were off the clock, but wanted to

know if Grace would get her hearing

back. Despite all the positive well-

wishers, Kristie was unable to restore

her hearing, but held out hope for

some restoration later.

So we cleaned off the whiteboards

again, and found the markers. Grace

still beamed. Her enthusiasm was

Friday, June 7, 2013

Sisters

Rachel’s youngest boy, Verden, visited

Grams today. She got lots of hugs.

He was leaving and Grams waved him

back. “You know what- right at this

very minute, my granddaughter and

her husband are in an airplane over the

ocean on their way to Africa! What do

you think of that!”

She got another hug.

55

contagious. The other residents and

the caregivers and the family all shared

in her expectation. It was sort of like

sitting on the bleachers at the ball

game, watching your favorite player,

participating in a shared optimism.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I

am thinking, “I have a black dress and

shoes in my suitcase that are not going

to be worn this trip.”

Kim and Mike Riley brought Lucy

in a wheelchair, and rolled her into

Grace’s room. Lucy nearly bounced

from her chair and Grace reached out

her arms. Christmas morning dawned

at Katherine’s Place this June

afternoon.

56

Friday June 7, 2013

Mary Lou Buchta- Liz, thank you for this wonderful chapter in the Grigg adven-tures. It was like being there with you. To read your words, and see the elation in the eyes of these sisters made me feel a part of their visit. You have been such a blessing to the rest of the family who cannot be there with you physically, but can share these moments through you.

Annette Rosemann- I agree with Mary Lou 100%.

Kenneth Carol Flynn -What a blessing for you and your family to witness this! Helga Clark -They look so happy together, great picture

Mary Lou Buchta Praise the Lord...Aunt Lucy was able to visit Aunt Grace...I am so glad and happy for both of them. They

are both precious to me...sisters in family and sisters in faith. Can’t get any better than that. Thank you for the pictures Liz.

Shawn Bridgman -That is a precious pic. Oh my the stories both of them could probably tell!!

Christie Neal -Gosh Grandma, can’t tell you how it warms my heart to see you surrounded by those who love you!!! You’ve impacted so many lives and continue to do so everyday. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you but you are in my thoughts and prayers so often. Much love!!! Keep shining His beautiful light!!

Annette Rosemann - Thank you Liz for this wonderful picture. I’ll place it my album on my computer. Oh, I just wish I could be there too.

FACEBOOK POSTS

We sat around and chatted and

wrote on the whiteboards for a while,

reminiscing about horses and road

trips, houses and cousins. Then Grace

wanted her neighbors at Katherine’s

Place to meet Lucy. I was reminded

again that absolutely everything about

my mother has to do with everyone

else. She had to share the joy.

And Lucy. She lives in her own

apartment and drives her own car.

What can be said, but that these Grigg

girls, with their matching blue-eyed

sparkles, also match wits and smiles;

good will and true grit. At 93 and soon

to be 103, they are lightning bolts of

inspiration.

57

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Mary Lou Buchta - Looks like hospice was left behind for a while...glad they have had their time together..love them both so much.

Shuvawn Irish Sweet - Unbelievable! I want to be like her when I grow up.

After a pleasant day visiting with Lucy,

Grandma Grace was ready for a nap

about 3 in the afternoon. I told her

Lucy would be back around 5 with her

daughter Kim and husband Mike to say

hello. then, I said, we were going out for

supper.

“Where is my purse?” She asked. “Do I have enough money?”

“You mean you want to go out?” I spelled out incredulously.

“It’s not often my sister is here,” she said.

So- with special thanks to Teresa for

getting a new oxygen tank and getting

her ready, Grandma Grace joined

the group at the 60 yr old resturant,

Venesian Inn, at Tontitown.

The table was a bounty of giant warm

yeast rolls, Italian specialties and fresh

salad. She did’t come to eat, however.

She came to sit beside her “baby

sister”. She was tired, almost too tired

to smile. By the time we were heading

back to Katherine’s Place, she had

signs of distress and I was worried.

Finally in her bed again, the last thing

she said was, “Tell everybody thank

you for taking me along today”.

You shoulda been there!

58

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Grandma Grace has been dying

from false assumptions. Put aside

pneumonia, C-Dif, aortic dissection,

and congestive heart failure.

Something like one of those will surely

take her when God says, “Come!” But

the recent threat to her vitality is more

about false expectations. Grandma

has a strong faith and knowledge of

God. However, none of us are past the

point of spiritual and self discovery,

including myself and my dear mother.

Scroll back to April 14. After months

of digestive tract problems and urinary

tract infections, she fought C-Dif, and

had been temporarily moved from her

Cottonwood room to a quarantined

area. All this culminated in a heart

attack, an experience Grace recalls as

the most agony she’s ever experienced.

Her prognosis was an aortic dissection,

and that condition resulted in her

placement in Hospice.

CONVERSATION 1:

“Mom, I’m here, and so are Ellen,

Marian and Marti. “

“They said I had a heart attack. And I

won’t last”

“Well, at least right now your blood

pressure and oxygen are good!”

She just shook her head.

Challenge: Experienced professionals

issue a death notice based upon CT

scans, MRA results and the fact that

the subject is 102 and in poor medical

condition. Prognosis; 2 days to 2

weeks.

Assumption: Death is imminent.

Historical record: After 2 months,

Grandma Grace is not only alive, but

all vital signs are stable; BP 110/65,

oxygen levels steady in the high

90’s, unconstricted breathing (with

oxygen). Even with stress of a bout

of pneumonia, and the fatigue after

drives in the country, her vitals were

stable. The dissection in the aorta

didn’t rupture.

Discovery: God trumps science.

Moving On...

59

CONVERSATION 2:

“How do you feel, Mom?”

“ OK.”

“I think you are doing pretty good!”

“Well, I won’t be here much longer.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Those two ladies were here today

from Hospice to bathe me. With Dad, it

was just a few weeks after they helped

him that he was gone.”

Challenge: Compassionate individuals

from an honored institution administer

palliative care and resources. Curative

initiatives are not provided.

Assumption: Death is imminent.

Experiential data: When simple

curative medications were indicated for

pneumonia or bronchitis, Grandma’s

family had to bypass Hospice and

find a doctor who would prescribe the

necessary prescriptions.

Discovery: Hospice is meant to serve

the dying, not to nurse the living. It is

not a diagnosis, but a service.

CONVERSATION 3:

“Mom, I have to go home today. “

“I hope I will see you again. I don’t think

it will be long.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I’m over 100 already, and people don’t

live much more than that.”

Challenge: Society’s statistics reflect an

average life span of 81 for an American

white female. Grace is approaching

103.

Assumption: Death is imminent.

Personal history: Grandma Grace has

outlived her husband, two of her six

children, one of her grandchildren,

most all her old friends, and four of her

five sisters.

Discovery: God numbers our days.

Continued...

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Truth is, since Grace’s heart attack,

each time she has bounced back

into stable health, no one was more

surprised than she. Somewhere in

her brain, she thought she wasn’t

going to make it. She is ready to

go, she is at peace with God and

everything else, she is tired of the

drudgery of living with impaired

sight and hearing, legs that don’t

walk, and a dizzy head.

But God hasn’t called her yet. And

to her credit, there are no complaints

or whining. Meanwhile, she is

dispensing joy daily. Anyone who

comes to comfort her leaves with a

lightened heart. I asked her why she

thought God has kept her with us.

“I don’t know, “ she shrugs.

Next week, Hospice will possibly

discharge Grace Ettinger. I sat with

the nurse last Friday discussing her

status, and she said that Grace’s

condition probably no longer

warrants the coverage.

Ellen’s response to this was to tell

Grandma that she was going to the

office at Katherine’s Place to reserve

the room for her 103rd birthday

party, August 3-4.

“You think I’ll be here?” Grandma asks.

Ellen said, “Yes”.

Grandma replied, “OK.”

You’re invited, make your plans.

No black attire allowed.

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“As your days,

so shall your strength be”

Gary and I had lunch with his Dad

at the Heron House, and spent a few

hours visiting with him. Ellen called

from mom’s bedside. She has been

unresponsive, and hasn’t eaten or

drunk for two days. Ellen’s going to

try getting a juice into her. She said

a nurse came in and wanted to give

mom something for pain, and Ellen

declined. Mom prefers the ability to

communicate over a mandate for

sleep.

Gary and I stopped on the hour ride

home to get a Dairy Queen. We ate

inside, and when we got into the car

again, my phone had four missed calls.

“Ellen?” I asked, and heard tears.

She put the phone to Mom’s ear, and

I heard her say, gasping for breath,

“Liz, I love you. Tell Your children I’m

praying for them. “

Ellen told me she had come out of a

sound sleep reciting the 23rd Psalm

and calling for her girls. She would say

a few words, then fall asleep again.

Over the next few hours, mom came

in and out of consciousness, and

continued saying last words. Her heart

spoke of family and those in need.

Texts and calls crossed from Arkansas

to Florida. The Hospice nurse was

present, advising the family of the next

steps that might be necessary.

Meanwhile, mom’s vitals were

monitored. Her oxygen level remained

high, blood pressure low, but at

acceptable levels. At 6 o’clock, mom

heard her vitals announced, and said

aloud, “Am I still alive? It takes a long

time to die. “

Ellen called me back in the evening.

“We’re going to get some thing to eat.

I just reminded mom that she Invited

Yvonne Repplinger to her birthday

party, and told her she’d better be

there. “

“OK,” Grandma said, and closed her

eyes again.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Another Crisis

62

June 9Shuvawn Irish Sweet -Doug and I will be driving back from vacation those days...I think we’ll take a detour and come celebrate a birthday

Christie Neal -That’s good stuff Liz:)

Jenni Green Millet- I love it! We’ll be there!

Mary Lou Buchta Liz, My husband was supposed to die, twice, 9 years ago with a brain hemorrhage, stoke which left him paralyzed on right side, blind, not be able even couldn’t swallow. Then he got even worse, with blood clots in both lungs and down down his right leg. He was then supposed to be go on dialysis, and respirator. They said 2nd bout was worse than first and didn’t know if he would ever be taken off of them. When we put praise music on in his room, everything when back to normal. We watched on his monitor and had other check to be sure. We kept praise music on day and night. We kept hearing God say, Jerry will have many miracles. That the shadow of death was just a shadow. God brought us to scriptures to encour-age and sustain us so that we could continue. Jerry is not paralyzed, he has 1/2 vision in both eyes and can hear in his right ear. He can do quite a bit of the things he did before. God’s promise was that he would be almost the same, but not quite. That was 9 years ago. God

holds our lives in His hands, as you know. Only He knows the day and the hour. Aunt Grace has a reason for being here in God’s great scheme of things, so I say God bless you and her and know that God surely has a plan for Aunt Grace’s life still, and we are blessed by it as well.

Liz Peters- Mary Lou, what a story! Wish we could sit down together and talk.

Missy McPherson- Liz - as always, your eloquence is amazing. God too is amazing

Mary Lou Buchta- Liz, it sure would be good to sit and talk over a nice cup of tea. The whole episode of Jerry’s trauma, I said, everywhere I looked, God was there. From the moment Jerry said he had a bad headache to the time he was able to come home. God is real and He more than willing to help us even before we ask. He was also there when I took care of Mom which is another story that is amazing.

Kenneth Carol Flynn- The Lord has blessed her as she has served Him.

June 14Hello to Grandma from Kenya! Steve, Debbie, Jon, Brian, Mikayla and I are all here safely and doing well.TCA Mission Africa 2013

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63

YOU ARE INVITED TO

GRANDMA GRACE ETTINGER’S 103RD BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Sunday, August 4 at Katherine’s Place, Fayetteville, Arkansas

and

FAMILY FLOAT ON THE ILLINOIS RIVER

Saturday, August 3 • With a BBQ Buffet in the Evening

PLEASE RSVP TO goliz@mac.com

YOU ARE INVITED

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Sunday: July 7, 2013

The invitations have gone out for

Grandma Grace’s birthday party and

RSVPs are coming in. I miss my mom

these days, more than I ever have

in my life. She can’t hear me on the

phone, but can say a few words to me.

Everyday I go to bed thinking about

her in her cozy room, and hope she is

comfortable. Every morning I wake

up wishing I could look over to her bed

from the recliner and say, “Hi, Mom!”.

It was such a privilege to be with her

daily for over a month.

Today is Sunday. Our pastor talked

about the “End of the World as we

Know it”, reminding us of the reality

of eternity, the prospect of standing

before the Throne of God, considering

our lives in the light of His presence.

He pleaded with us to be sure of our

faith and be aware of how we live that

faith out in the days we have here on

earth. The very moment Gary and

I walked out of the church door, my

phone buzzed, indicating I had a text

message. This is what I read from

Teresa, Mom’s caretaker and daughter

(we’ve adopted her and Racheal and

Rebecca at Katherine’s Place).

“Ok, so Grace says that a man came

into her room yesterday after lunch

and put her in her wheel chair and took

her out to the garden with him and

they stayed all afternoon. She said she

didn’t know him. I was here till 3:30 and

she didn’t go anywhere. I called Marion

to ask her if she knew anything about it

and she said no. Grace is insisting that

it wasn’t a dream that it was very real.

She is telling me all this with the most

beautiful smile on her face and she is

very excited to share her supposed

garden adventure with us. Wow, what a

morning! I could feel the spirit all over

me in there as she told her story. I just

wanted to share this with you.”

Grandma Grace is in touch with

another world. It isn’t the first time,

either… While I was there several times

she heard music, and talked to me and

Teresa about it. “Where is the music

coming from?” she asked. We said we

didn’t hear any. “Yes, there is music,

Peeking through the garden gate

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you know, hymns, I have been hearing

it for hours,” she said. Then there were

those days we thought we were losing

her. She was talking to those around

her, then talking to someone else. And

sometimes in the night, she spoke

from her bed, I thought in her sleep,

but she remembered it in the morning

and talked about it.

Grandma Grace is blessing us with

evidence of the reality of heaven. I

have said before that she has one foot

in heaven and one at 4405 Persimmon

Road. She is literally; think about

that; LITERALLY, straddling time and

eternity.

What is MOST on her heart at any

given time is that all her family and

anyone else who knows her will believe

as she does: that God created the world

and all of us in it, and that He sent his

only Son Jesus to redeem us after sin

separated us from eternity. She wants

us to believe, love and follow Christ,

and give our lives to Him instead of

living for our own purposes. Now, in

her very last days, she is blessing us

with the “substance of things hoped

for, the evidence of things not seen.”

(Heb. 11:1) Through her, we get a peek

into the garden of God.

The party is still on, but keep in touch.

Grandma Grace may lose her foothold

here at Katherine’s Place.

Kari Chester -I love my Aunt Grace and love how bold and real she is with her faith! Love you Liz Peters and thank you again for sharing this! I love you Aunt Grace Ettinger!

Missy McPherson -Praying for you.

Heather Chase Senter -It gave me ex-cited chills and caused me to cry, too.... Thank you for letting me experience the beauty and miracle, too!

Abigail Wolcott Kim -Wow. Thank you for writing this Aunt Liz.

Annette Rosemann -Thanks Liz. I sure wish I could be there but am unable to get there yet. I appreciate all the info you pass on and make me feel like I am there too.

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This is not her story - it is ours.