her nightmare began - 6x9

HER NIGHTMARE BEGAN WHEN SHE WOKE UP

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HER NIGHTMARE BEGAN WHEN SHE

WOKE UP

“… if I only knew more about the state of our

financial planning !”

By Eben Botes


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PREFACE

The book came about after many years of seeing

firsthand how perfectly normal lives were

destroyed because of a lack of knowledge and

sense of urgency when it came to proper financial

planning. After this last client, spoken about in

this book, had to go through this horrific ordeal by

herself, feeling her pain that could so easily have

been prevented, I felt motivated to take some

responsibility to get her story out there, hoping to

help as many families as I could through this book.

In the book you will meet Melissa and her

husband Andy and how her nightmare began

when she woke up.

The purpose of the book is to teach wife’s and

husbands through Melissa’s story, about the very

basics of what their financial planning must cover.

I want to acknowledge my wife and boys, this

book was also written with them in mind, the

sacrifices they have made for me are tremendous

and I hope this book will save many family’s lives

and make their sacrifice worthwhile.


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Some names and identifying details have been

changed in this book to protect the privacy of the

individuals involved, the events that took place

are factual and true.

Melissa May was married to Andy May, her high

school sweetheart. They decided very early on in

their relationship that they wanted to have a

medium sized family, a pigeon pare if they could

be so lucky and that Andy would be the bread

winner and she would be the loving house wife

and mother. Andy had a passion for flying, his

father always said “if you do what you love, you

will never work a day in your life”. Andy took that

to heart and become a helicopter pilot and loved

it.

Melissa and Andy did not get married for a

number of years after school as it was very

expensive and a timeous affair to get Andy

through flight school and for him to land his first

good paying job.


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It wasn’t long after they eventually were married

that Melissa fell pregnant with their first child, it

was not the pigeon pare they were hoping for but

it was a beautiful and healthy baby girl, they

named her Amber.

Melissa was a great mother and Andy was a good

provider, his family did not want for anything.

Soon they moved into their own house and Andy

bought Melissa a big SUV vehicle because baby

number two was on the way. The years went by

with Melissa being the stay at home mom with

her busy schedule raising two children and Andy

clocking up the hours flying helicopters for a

living. Every month end Andy would give Melissa

money to take care of her and the children’s

expenses and for whatever needed to get done

regarding the household. This went on year in and

year out exactly as what they planned when they

were still in school, life was perfect …


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January 30th was Melissa’s birthday, she was

turning 35. Amber now already 10 years old and

her little brother Brett 6 years old decided to bake

mommy a cake for her birthday, dad Andy had to

help of course. They surprised her with cake in

bed for breakfast and the happy family had a

great day.

The next morning as per usual Melissa made the

family breakfast and Andy kissed them all

goodbye and left for work. Melissa dropped the

kids at school and was on her way home when she

got a call from her brother Mark, he wanted to

know if she was close to home yet and that he

was on his way there now. She was about 5

minutes away but she felt that something was

wrong, something in Mark’s voice did not sound

quite right.

Mark was listed on Andy’s employment contract

as a next of kin, the manager of the company that

Andy worked for called Mark with some bad

news, he felt that it would be better if a family

member was with Melissa for the bad news …


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On that morning Andy was supposed to fly a client

to a certain destination and in flight something

went catastrophically wrong and Andy crashed,

Andy did not survive the accident. Mark was

waiting in the driveway of Melissa and Andy’s

house when she pulled in, from looking at her

brothers face she knew this was not good. Mark

felt it was just best to get it over with and without

hesitation told Melissa that Andy passed away an

hour ago.

Melissa was beside herself with grief, her heart

was broken into a million pieces, she lost the love

of her life. Her life would never be the same, it

was the worst day. She tried to be brave for

Amber and little Brett but there was no holding

back the emotions that poured out, she was

broken.

Just yesterday Andy baked a cake with the kids

and surprised her in bed, just this morning he

kissed her goodbye as he left for work, her last

kiss from Andy. Sobbing and weeping she walked

through their home and everything she looked at

brought up memories about Andy and their


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perfect life together, this made her even more sad

and she eventually fell asleep on their bed

clutching onto Andy’s pillow.

Her nightmare began when she woke up …

Mark had been keeping the kids busy and also

cooked dinner for them. Melissa came out from

the bedroom putting on a brave face, it did not

last very long as the moment she saw the kids

sitting at the dinner table with Mark the tears

came running down her face. She sat down with

them and tried to explain as best she could that

daddy was gone and he was never coming back.

After a few minutes Mark told the kids to go and

play, he knew that the following conversation

would not be an easy one for Melissa and he

wanted to spare them from seeing their mom like

this.


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“Sis, …” he said with a soft voice holding her hand.

“ we need to speak about a few things that are

now coming up over the next few days “ She

looked up at him not exactly sure what he meant.

“ I will help you with the funeral arrangements but

I need some information from you first, which

company holds Andy’s funeral policy and for how

much was he covered for? “. Her eyes got more

focused, she paused for a bit and said “I don’t

know “. Mark made a note in the notepad that he

found on the kitchen table and asked “ how many

months of savings do you guys have in your

emergency fund account ? “ realizing that these

questions are only going to get tougher she sat

more upright and replied “ I don’t know if we have

one “

Mark realizes that his sister was not involved in

the finances and he would have to try and track

down all their policy information and financials.

He got Melissa to sign a document consenting to

him getting the information on her behalf. The

next day Mark had his friend that was a financial

adviser look for all Andy’s policy information and

bank accounts. What they learn next would shock

and disappoint them at the same time.


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Andy had not a single life insurance policy nor did

he have any retirement planning or savings of any

sort, he had $8.78 in his bank account, that was it.

Mark felt angry at Andy, how could he not have

planned or made provision for his family, what

was he thinking? How will Melissa and the

children continue with their lives as they know it?

With an extra dark cloud over his heart now he

was not sure how he was going to break the news

to Melissa.

Being the stand-up guy that he is, he arranged the

funeral and paid for everything out of his own

pocket, he thought it best to not say anything

until after the funeral so that Melissa and the kids

could say goodbye to Andy properly. The funeral

was beautiful as far as funerals are concerned,

Melissa and the kids got to lay rose petals on

Andy’s coffin whilst saying their last goodbyes.

Mark was even more emotional than he thought

he would be, must be because he was the only

one that knew what was still to come for his sister

and the kids.


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After the funeral Mark drove Melissa and the kid’s

home. He wanted to talk to her about what he

found out but felt that today was not the day.

“Please make some time tomorrow morning as we

have a few things to discuss “he said hoping that

she would not ask what the discussion would be

about. Silence … she did not say a word.

The next morning Mark spoke to Andy’s employer

and he was told that the company had no benefits

for Andy, no pension, no protection cover at all.

Andy was employed on a contract basis and he

was paid for the amount of hours he billed for

flying their clients around.

Mark went over to Melissa’s place, sat her down

and told her everything. She had nothing, there

would be no money coming in from anywhere.

“How could that be possible? “She cried out with

panic in her voice. “How am I going to pay the

house come month’s end? How am I going to pay

the car? What about the children’s school fees?

“Panic set in, her mind was racing with thousands

of thoughts, what would they eat ? Where would

they go? Do they still have medical insurance?

How could Andy let this happen to them?


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Melissa would never know why Andy never had

these things in place or if it was even on his to do

list for the near future, we don’t plan on dying

today so in our minds we still have time.

Melissa lost everything, the house, the cars, the

kids had to go to a state run school. The perfect

life as she knew it was over. If only she knew more

about the state of their financial planning.

___________

As stated in the beginning of this short true story,

this is an actual client and what she had to go

through just because it never crossed her mind to

ask questions about their financial planning. It is

of the utmost importance that you have a basic

understanding of what the term “personal

financial planning” means and what at the very

least you should have in place, the fact here

remains that it is not whether this could happen

to you, it’s when it is going to happen to you …

will your ducks be in a row?


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I am going to set out the very basics of what every

household should have in place, where to find the

information and what to do with it …

Funeral Cover

In many countries you find that they have funeral

policies available. Funeral policies cover a person

and his loved ones in the event of death, this

funeral policy normally pays out a certain amount

of cash to the family of the deceased individual.

The amount is usually chosen by the owner of the

funeral policy and should cover all the costs of the

funeral. Payout of the cash amount is normally

done within 48 hours after receiving the death

certificate. Do you know if you have one? Do you

have their name and contact details? Do you have

the policy number?

Emergency Fund

An emergency fund is exactly that, emergency

money in a separate account that can be used

should an emergency occur. Your fund will look


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very different from the next persons account as

not everybody has the same expenses. In the

event of a death the banks may very well freeze

the deceased’s bank accounts, you will not be able

to have access to the normal banks accounts that

you are used to.

So how big should this account be? Having an

emergency fund of 3 – 6 months’ worth of

monthly expenses is a good amount to have. Now

it might not be possible for everyone to just open

an account and put 6 months’ worth of monthly

expenses in it straight away, but start somewhere.

It might also be a good idea to have that

emergency account offshore and not in the

country that you live in.

Will & Guardianship Letters

One of the most important financial planning

documents that are often overlooked is the Will.

Here you name your children, you name the

guardians of your children if they are under age,

how your estate should be distributed and who

will be your executor.


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Each person’s Will and wishes after death will be

different, do you want to be cremated or buried?

Where do you want to buried ? Are you an organ

donor? By the time a Will is read it’s too late to

harvest organs, your family and friends should

know that you are an organ donor.

If your children are still under aged they will have

to go stay with the guardians that you have

chosen for them, will there be funds to help the

guardians with this enormous financial burden

that has now suddenly fallen on them? Do you

have a lump sum of life cover or cash that will be

available? If not, how will that cost be funded?

Drawing up a Last Will and testament gives you an

exact picture of your assets and what liabilities

you still have that will fall upon your loved ones.

There are also costs involved on the death of a

loved one like estate duties and executors fees,

will there be enough cash available to pay for this

or will you have to sell off assets to cover these

costs?

Do you have a Will? Where is it? When you signed

it did you understand it?


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Life Cover or Life Insurance

Why do you need Life cover or life insurance?

Let’s look at 4 reasons why you should know

where your cover is and what it’s there for:

Protect your loves ones

If your family depends on your financial income

for their livelihood, then life insurance is a must

because it replaces your income in the event of

your death. It is especially important for parents

with children who will find it difficult to maintain

their standard if your income suddenly falls away,

how will they cope with the day to day living

expenses? Housing? Schooling? Medical cover?

Pay off debts and other expenses

Providing income to cover daily living expenses is

one aspect, your family needs life insurance to

cover larger outstanding debts, like your home

loan, credit cards and car loans. Other expenses

include funeral and burial costs that can easily run

into the thousands of dollars. You don’t want your

spouse, parents, children or other loved ones to

be left with any extra financial burden in addition

to the emotional burden they’re already suffering.


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Financial security & peace of mind

None of us know when we will pass away, could

be this afternoon, could be tomorrow, could be

many years from now, but it will eventually

happen. No one and no amount of money can

replace a person, but having life insurance in place

will certainly protect your loved ones against the

uncertainties in life. Having life insurance in place

will give you peace of mind that your loved ones

will be looked after when you’re gone.

Leave an inheritance

Even if you don’t have large valuable assets to

pass onto your heirs, you can have life insurance

in place to create an inheritance for them, this is a

very cost effective method to create a large cash

injection into their financial future and any

monetary need that may arise.

I once met a husband and wife that said they did

not believe in life insurance and according to

them it was an unnecessary expense, the husband

passed away a few weeks later and all of a sudden

the wife started believing, too little too late.


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In closing

We all have a responsibility to our loved ones,

talking a big game in front of friends or family

doesn’t mean anything. It’s when the final curtain

closes, your love, concern and responsibility will

show. Will your family without a doubt be looked

after in the way that they should be looked after?

After the heartbreak eases will they be able to

carry on with their lives as they know it?

It’s not if it’s going to happen to you … it’s when.

Take the time, ask the questions, take action,

make certain that you understand your financial

plan and that you know whom to contact in the

event of an emergency.

In the next follow up book I will discuss severe

Illness and disability and how it impacts millions of

people daily and what you could expect should

you or a loved one suffer from a severe illness or a

disability and what you should have in place to

protect you financially. The cost of suffering either

of these could be crippling. You can’t work, so

where is the money going to come from ?


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If you have any questions or would like some

more information on any aspect of financial

planning, feel free to visit my website.

All my contact details and some more information

is available here http://www.plan4women.com

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