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HERON POINTS OIPOINTS GREETINGS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD NEWSLETTER November 2017 Submit your articles, recipes, photos, etc. for next month’s newsletter to [email protected]. Smell Test May Sniff Out Oncoming Parkinson´s and Alzheimer´s. How an unlikely clue could help solve the mystery of two devastating disorders Sight and hearing get all the glory, but the often overlooked and underappreciated sense of smell—or problems with it—is a subject of rapidly growing interest among scientists and clinicians who battle Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases. Impaired smell is one of the earliest and most common symptoms of both, and researchers hope a better understanding will improve diagnoses and help unlock some of the secrets of these incurable conditions. The latest offering from the burgeoning field is a review published in June in Lancet Neurology. It proposes neurotransmitter dysfunction as a possible cause of smell loss in a number of neurodegenerative diseases, including Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. More than 90 percent of Parkinson’s patients report some level of olfactory dysfunction. And because problems with smell progress in Alzheimer’s, nearly all of those diagnosed with moderate to severe forms of the illness have odor-identification issues. “It’s important, not just because it’s novel and interesting and simple but because the evidence is strong,” says Davangere Devanand, a professor of psychiatry and neurology at Columbia University, who was not an author of the paper. His most recent paper on the subject, a review, was published in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry in December. Studies have

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Page 1: HERON · 2018-05-22 · photos, etc. tor next month’s HERON POINTS POIPOINTS GREETINGS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD NEWSLETTER November 2017 Submit your articles, recipes, newsletter to drtgs1951@gmail.com

HERON POINTS POIPOINTS

GREETINGS

OUR NEIGHBORHOOD NEWSLETTER

November 2017

Submit your articles, recipes,

photos, etc. tor next month’s

newsletter to

[email protected].

Submit your articles, recipes,

photos, etc. for next month’s

newsletter to

[email protected].

Smell Test May Sniff Out Oncoming Parkinson´s

and Alzheimer´s. How an unlikely clue could help

solve the mystery of two devastating disorders Sight and hearing get all the glory, but the often overlooked and underappreciated sense of

smell—or problems with it—is a subject of rapidly growing interest among scientists and clinicians who battle Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases. Impaired smell is one of the

earliest and most common symptoms of both, and researchers hope a better understanding

will improve diagnoses and help unlock some of the secrets of these incurable conditions. The latest offering from the burgeoning field is a review published in June in Lancet Neurology. It

proposes neurotransmitter dysfunction as a possible cause of smell loss in a number of

neurodegenerative diseases, including Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. More than 90 percent of Parkinson’s patients report some level of olfactory dysfunction. And because problems with

smell progress in Alzheimer’s, nearly all of those diagnosed with moderate to severe forms of

the illness have odor-identification issues. “It’s important, not just because it’s novel and interesting and simple but because the evidence is strong,” says Davangere Devanand, a

professor of psychiatry and neurology at Columbia University, who was not an author of the

paper. His most recent paper on the subject, a review, was published in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry in December. Studies have

shown impaired smell to be even stronger than memory

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Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry in December. Studies have shown impaired smell to be even

stronger than memory problems as a predictor of cognitive decline in currently healthy adults. It is

especially useful for forecasting the progression from mild cognitive impairment (MCI) to full-

blown Alzheimer’s. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, approximately 15 to 20 percent of

people older than 65 have MCI. About half of them go on to develop Alzheimer’s, Devanand

says—and the sooner they are identified, the earlier doctors can begin interventions, including

treatment with the few existing Alzheimer’s drugs. Among Parkinson’s patients, loss of smell

occurs more often than the most common type of tremor. It can precede the classic motor signs of

the disease by several years, and olfactory tests have been shown to do a better job than motor

function tests when it comes to distinguishing Parkinson’s patients from healthy control subjects.

In fact, not having trouble with smell is often enough to rule out the disease. “If a person scores

very well on a smell-identification test, then you can be pretty sure he or she is not going to have

Parkinson’s, at least within the next four years,” says neurologist and researcher G. Webster Ross

of the Veterans Affairs Pacific Islands Health Care System. As eager as they are to raise

awareness of the connection between olfactory dysfunction and neurodegenerative disease, experts

in the field are also quick to point out that problems with smell are common in the general

population and do not always indicate a higher risk of developing Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. The

number-one cause of long-lasting or even permanent smell loss is the common head cold, says

Richard Doty, primary founder and director of the Smell and Taste Center at the University of

Pennsylvania and author of the review. Doty, a professor of otorhinolaryngology, invented the

University of Pennsylvania Smell Identification Test (UPSIT), a 40-odor scratch-and-sniff test that

has become the gold standard for diagnosing olfactory dysfunction. Additional causes include

other types of viral infections, a history of smoking, head injuries and getting older. Indeed,

according to Doty, about half the U.S. population between the ages of 65 and 80 have some

demonstrable loss of smell. If subjects are older than 80, that number goes up to about 75 percent.

Once colds and other common causes are ruled out, family doctors and general practitioners

might order a smell test and start to consider the rarer and far more serious possibilities. “But

it has to be done in the context of a complete medical history and a proper evaluation,” Devanand says. “You can’t just randomly give it.” For neurologists such as Devanand and

Ross, the results of a smell test can initiate a workup or help confirm a diagnosis. “It’s really a

subgroup of the population where this is useful for detecting or predicting future cognitive decline or Parkinson’s,” Doty says. Impaired smell is just one of several early, nonmotor

signs that Ross looks for when he faces a potential Parkinson’s case. Others include chronic

constipation (which he says may occur as much 12 years prior to diagnosis) as well as slow reaction time on a computer test and excessive daytime sleepiness. Separate from its link to

neurodegenerative disease, olfactory dysfunction has been associated with an increased risk

of death, independent of other causes, including dementia, in four studies of older adults. Whereas the reasons for the effect remain unclear, a large study led by Devanand suggests

“safety and nutritional issues associated with the loss of smell”—the inability to smell smoke,

for example, and lack of interest in food from loss of taste—could be contributors. In a 2014 study at the University of Chicago, researchers wrote, “We believe olfaction is the canary in

the coal mine of human health.” The simplicity and low cost of a smell test—$26.95 retail,

before additional doctor or hospital charges—make it especially appealing in neurology, a

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field dominated by positron-emission tomography scans, dopamine transporter single-photon

emission computed tomography imaging and other expensive technologies. Because it is so

economical, Devanand says researchers should incorporate olfaction testing into studies that look at other Alzheimer’s risk factors in large populations. He has applied for a grant to do

just that in an upcoming Columbia study involving 3,000 subjects. He would also like to see

more studies that directly compare olfaction testing with costly and invasive procedures such as brain scans and spinal taps. In addition to its importance as an early and reliable warning

of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, impaired smell offers a window into the underlying

mechanisms of the two diseases. “If somebody has very mild Alzheimer’s and dies,” Devanand says, “on autopsy, we will see the pathology of Alzheimer’s—the tangles and

plaques—in the olfactory bulb.” The presence of the dead, snarled nerve cells and sticky

protein fragments characteristic of Alzheimer’s in the main smell-processing structures of these deceased patients could suggest the disease gets its start in the olfactory system. There is

some evidence for this, Devanand says, “but it’s not overwhelming.” Similarly, Doty says

there is an argument to be made for calling the olfactory system the origin of Parkinson’s but adds this is “probably an oversimplification.” Such caution and uncertainty are hardly

surprising at this point, given the complexity of the anatomy involved. The olfactory system

comprises six million to 10 million receptor cells (of which there are nearly 400 different types) and links to multiple brain structures and neural pathways, including those involved in

memory, emotion and movement. Doty draws on more than 30 years of research to describe

the role faulty brain chemistry, particularly that involving the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, might play in the smell impairment that accompanies neurodegenerative disease. For his part,

Ross wonders if perhaps the nasal mucosa—the layer of mucus lining the inside of the nose—

“may be a conduit through which some environmental toxin can gain access to the brain,” potentially triggering Parkinson’s and disrupting smell along the way. There may not be

answers yet, but more researchers are asking questions about the relation between smell and

neurodegenerative diseases. “In the past,” Devanand says, “most neurologists thought, ‘Maybe there’s something there statistically in a paper, but it’s a bit flaky.’ ” Those days are

gone, he says, thanks to consistent results from researchers in the U.S. and Europe—findings

that confirm the importance of an unlikely clue in the fight against devastating disorders. —

How the humble S-bend made modern toilets possible

Connie Sylvester

By Tim Harford BBC World Service, 50 Things That Made the Modern Economy

"Gentility of speech is at an end," thundered an editorial in London's City Press, in 1858. "It stinks!" The stink in question was partly metaphorical: politicians were failing to tackle an obvious problem.

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As its population grew, London's system for disposing of human waste became woefully inadequate. To relieve pressure on cess pits - which were prone to leaking, overflowing, and belching explosive methane - the authorities had instead started encouraging sewage into gullies.

However, this created a different issue: the gullies were originally intended for only rainwater, and emptied directly into the River Thames. That was the literal stink - the Thames became an open sewer. Cholera was rife. One outbreak killed 14,000 Londoners - nearly one in every 100. Civil engineer Joseph Bazalgette drew up plans for new, closed sewers to pump the waste far from the city. It was this project that politicians came under pressure to approve.

The sweltering-hot summer of 1858 had made London's malodorous river impossible to politely ignore, or to discuss obliquely with "gentility of speech". The heatwave became popularly known as the "Great Stink".

Unlikely figure

If you live in a city with modern sanitation, it's hard to imagine daily life being permeated with the suffocating stench of human excrement. For that, we have a number of people to thank - but perhaps none more so than the unlikely figure of Alexander Cumming.

50 Things That Made the Modern Economy highlights the inventions, ideas and innovations that helped create the economic world. It is broadcast on the BBC World Service. You can find more information about the programme's sources and listen online or subscribe to the programme podcast.

A watchmaker in London a century before the Great Stink, Cumming won renown for his mastery of intricate mechanics. King George III commissioned him to make an elaborate instrument for recording atmospheric pressure, and he pioneered the microtome, a device for cutting ultra-fine slivers of wood for microscopic analysis. But Cumming's world-changing invention owed nothing to precision engineering. It was a bit of pipe with a curve in it. In 1775, Cumming patented the S-bend. This became the missing ingredient to create the flushing toilet - and, with it, public sanitation as we know it.

Simplicity

Flushing toilets had previously foundered on the problem of smell: the pipe that connects the toilet to the sewer, allowing urine and faeces to be flushed away, will also let sewer odours waft back up - unless you can create some kind of airtight seal. Cumming's solution was simplicity itself: bend the pipe. Water settles in the dip, stopping smells coming up; flushing the toilet replenishes the water. While we've moved on alphabetically from the S-bend to the U-bend, flushing toilets still deploy the same insight.

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Rollout, however, came slowly: by 1851, flushing toilets remained novel enough in London to cause mass excitement when introduced at the Great Exhibition in Crystal Palace. Use of the facilities cost one penny, giving the English language one of its enduring euphemisms for emptying one's bladder, "to spend a penny". Hundreds of thousands of Londoners queued for the opportunity to relieve themselves while marvelling at the miracles of modern plumbing. If the Great Exhibition gave Londoners a vision of how public sanitation could be - clean, and smell-free - no doubt that added to the weight of popular discontent as politicians dragged their heels over finding the funds for Joseph Bazalgette's planned sewers.

More than 170 years later, about two-thirds of the world's people have access to what's called "improved sanitation", according to the World Health Organization, up from about a quarter in 1980. That's a big step forward.

Economic cost

But that still means two and a half billion people don't have access to it, and "improved sanitation" itself is a relatively low bar. It "hygienically separates human excreta from human contact", but it doesn't necessarily treat the sewage itself. Fewer than half the world's people have access to sanitation systems that do that. The economic costs of this ongoing failure to roll out proper sanitation are many and varied, from health care for diarrhoeal diseases to foregone revenue from hygiene-conscious tourists.

The World Bank's Economics of Sanitation Initiative has tried to tot up the price tag. Across various African countries, for example, it reckons inadequate sanitation lops one or two percentage points off gross domestic product (GDP), in India and Bangladesh over 6%, and in Cambodia 7%. That soon adds up. The challenge is that public sanitation isn't something the market necessarily provides. Toilets cost money, but defecating in the street is free.

'Positive externality'

If I install a toilet, I bear all the costs, while the benefits of the cleaner street are felt by everyone. In economic parlance, that's a "positive externality" - and goods that have positive externalities tend to be bought at a slower pace than society, as a whole, would prefer. The most striking example is the "flying toilet" system of Kibera, in Nairobi, Kenya. The flying toilet works like this: you defecate into a plastic bag, and then in the middle of the night, whirl the bag around your head and hurl it as far away as possible. Replacing a flying toilet with a flushing toilet provides benefits to the toilet owner - but you can bet that the neighbours would appreciate it, too.

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Contrast, say, the mobile phone. That also costs money, but its benefits accrue largely to me. That's one reason why, although the S-bend has been around for 10 times as long as the mobile phone, many more people already own a mobile phone than a flushing toilet. If you want to buy a flushing toilet, it also helps if there's a system of sewers to plumb it into, and creating one is a major undertaking - financially and logistically. 62

When Joseph Bazalgette finally got the cash to build London's sewers, they took 10 years to complete and necessitated digging up 2.5 million cubic metres (88 million cubic ft) of earth. Because of the externality problem, such a project might not appeal to private investors: it tends to require determined politicians, willing taxpayers and well-functioning municipal governments. And those, it seems, are in short supply. According to a study published in 2011, just 6% of India's towns and cities have succeeded in building even a partial network of sewers. The capacity for delay seems almost unlimited.

Geographical quirk

London's lawmakers likewise procrastinated- but when they finally acted, they didn't hang about. As Stephen Halliday recounts in his book The Great Stink of London, it took just 18 days to rush through the necessary legislation for Bazalgette's plans. What explains this sudden, impressive alacrity? A quirk of geography: London's Parliament building is located right next to the River Thames. Officials tried to shield lawmakers from the Great Stink, soaking the curtains in chloride of lime in a bid to mask the stench. But it was no use. Try as they might, the politicians couldn't ignore it. The Times described, with a note of grim satisfaction, how MPs had been seen abandoning the building's library, "each gentleman with a handkerchief to his nose".

If only concentrating politicians' minds was always that easy

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Pictures of The Month Ray Botelho

Salty Dog Neighborhood Cruise

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We have a new Neighborhood Fishing Champ. Dan Eliades caught this 11 lb Salmon on an Alaskan cruise. Returned to the ship and the Chef cooked it for our dinner. Great presentation and all six of us (Adams's, Redlus's, and Eliades') enjoyed a great dinner. Even had plenty of leftovers that the crew enjoyed as well.

Carolyn Linnane

October Concrete & Cocktails

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Bill Linnane

car winning an

award at

Shelter Cove

Car Show

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What’s The Pointe SandyJernigan In "The Week" magazine they have a contest in each issue such as the one below: "A new study has found that keeping a messy desk might be a sign of creative genius, because people with disorderly environments often have fresh insights. If a business writer were to author a book on the benefits of being a slob at work, what should it be titled?" The winning offerings were "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Tidying," "Chairman of the Hoard," and "Mess for Success", all of which were pretty unexciting. We wondered if Heron's Pointe residents could come up with something a little cleverer. If you have a better idea submit it to me at [email protected] and I will publish it in the next newsletter,

Heron’s Pointe Neighborhood Website I’ve refreshed the website. It continues to be updated with new neighbors added to our

directory as well as changes to some neighbors’ addresses/phone numbers. If you haven’t

already checked out the directory you may wish to be sure you are listed and the

Information is correct. It includes our newsletters, calendars, Heron’s Heroes minutes, order forms for apparel, neighborhood news, your neighborhood officers’ contact

information, neighborhood directory and additional information, e.g., lawn care. The

directory was lifted/copied from the Sun City resident website and consequently there were transfer issues, e.g., it’s not pretty. http://heronspointeneighborhood.weebly.com/ Also I

have looked on Sun city Website and many of our neighbors’ have not entered their

information.

I strongly recommend you update your information on the Sun City Website

and download the Sun City APP to your smartphone. The Sun City Website

is being redesigned and the Online Directory is scheduled to have a new sort

category, NEIGHBORHOOD, curtesy of my suggestion. Once this is

implemented I will copy and create a new directory mirroring Sun City’s.

This will be much neater and user friendly. I will also include an excel

spreadsheet so some of you will be able to sort it. I have already done this for

Maplemere. However, if you are not listed on the Sun City online directory

you will no longer appear in our neighborhood directory. As I last checked

many of our neighbors have not entered their information on the Sun City

Website. This is the only way Sun City can communicate with you in case of

imparting critical information:

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JOKES OF THE MONTH

Jim Bowden

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Connie Sylvester (EDITOR’S NOTE: CONNIE YOUR RIGHT I WOILD EXPECT THIS FROM YOU)

A Dark and Stormy Night

This will Make Your Day

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe...as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late at night and raining very hard with thunder and lightning. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house.

He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes and a small, hunched old man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?" "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. But my master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in. An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will

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see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail , and Bob and Betty Hill both passed away. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house. Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He Bursts in and Shouts to his

Master,

"Master, Master"

"The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music!"

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I am Soooooo Sorry..... But You Really

Should've Seen That Coming!!

Happy Haloween 10/31/17

You might even consider changing your

E-Mail Address Now!!!

So, what did you Expect From

A Demented Old Friend on the Internet.

Bob White Confucius Did Not Say..... Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion. Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted. Man who eats many prunes get good run for money. War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left. Man who fights with wife all day get no piece at night. It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it. Man who drives like hell is bound to get there. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. Wise man does not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. And, Confucius Really Did Not Say... "A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"

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Stan Green

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman

glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

The old Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you somsing, lady. I vasn't staring at you like you tink; dat vould not be proper."

The woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or my butt, sweetie, what are you doing then?"

He paused a moment, then told her, "Vell...... M'am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money

to pay for dis ride?"

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Ted Sommers Woman takes her pet duck to the vet and gets some terrible news A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet. “How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.” The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck.” The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$550!” she cried, “$550 just to tell me my duck is dead?!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would

have been $50, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $550.”

Stan Green This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. Experience.

It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.

This is a strictly ..... Mathematical viewpoint... And it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than

100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have

all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

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What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will

Take you.

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A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that

while Hardwork and Knowledge

Will get you close, and

Attitude will

Get you there. It's the Bullshit and

Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now you know why Politicians are where they are!

I've never seen a better explanation than this formula. How

True it is.

Hank Whittier Subject: Random thoughts as we age

The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet! I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop annoying me!

Old age is coming at a really bad time! Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends

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to post my bail when I finally snap ! I don't have white hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees. The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes" . I'm going to retire and live off my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week. Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud? At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad !!!

And, of course.. Have I sent this to you already... or did you send this to me?