"ho-ho-ho, help me, its the holidays! dealing with the stress!"
TRANSCRIPT
“Ho-Ho-Ho; Help Me, it’s the Holidays”Dealing with the Stress!
Presented by Margie Roop, Regional DirectorLifeServices EAP
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The Holidays…a time of joy? Peace & contentment?
Or, a time of stress, grief, loss, or depression?
What’s YOUR EXPERIENCE at this time of year, typically?
Everyone’s encounter with the
Holidays is unique to them.
No judgements here!
It is downright stressful! Lots of activities,including:TravelCleaning the houseSpending money & on whom & for what?Planning meals/invitees.Getting time off work for vacation.Grieving loved ones who have passed.Being alone.
Having no family
Study of patients treated by emergency room psychiatric services during the Christmas season: most common stressors were feelings of loneliness & “being without a family.”
Loneliness
Media Is that me?
Associate professor of psychology at the University of Toronto:
Bombardment of media during the Holidays.
Showing images of smiling family & friends causes people to question the quality of their own relationships!
Staying away from others
….makes things worse!
One of the biggest predictors of depression especially during the Holidays.
People who are lonely or wo have feelings of disconnectedness avoid socializing at Christmastime.
Withdrawing only exacerbates loneliness & depression.
They may ask themselves: “Why can’t that be me?”
A painful reminder of what once was, whether that’s being geographically far from loved ones, estrangement from loved ones, or the death of a loved one.
Or, memories so pleasant & very positive which cause sadness because parents/loved ones no longer with you.
Stress=Family? Here we go again!
Can be a stressor, especially if there are unresolved family conflicts.
Can be a stressor if certain family members fail to cooperate in party planning, hosting, a dish to pass, clean-up.
Can cause stress due to their “predictable” behaviors when drinking alcohol.
Can cause stress due to a number of other personality characteristics.
Christmases without Christmas presents or enough food.
Parents drunk or on drugs
Parents verbally fighting
Parent physically fighting (& maybe drunk)
Relatives drinking too much, fighting & otherwise acting inappropriately.
What will I buy everyone (I hate shopping!)
How will I pay for Christmas-it costs a fortune!?
Traffic is so bad I’m a wreck every time I get where I’m going!
My relatives & their kids are going to be here for a whole week-Lord, help me!
My kids’ energy levels & voice levels have quadrupled-give me peace!
If I hear Alvin & the chipmunks one more time, I’ll smash the radio!
It’s a little too much! Throw me a life saver!
Normal routines & schedules are disrupted.
Rushing around to get things done
Giving presents can be stressful: “am I giving enough?”
Stores & malls crowded & hectic.
Holiday gatherings: too much food, drink takes its toll.
“Ghosts of Christmas Past” can remind us of disappointments & bring on depression.
Lack of concentration due to worries & distractions associated with the Holidays.
Out-of-sort people tend to be accident prone.
Taking more risks: hanging lights outside, lugging the Christmas tree, shoveling snow; dealing with frustrated drivers.
In Healthy LifeStyle:
“Stress, Depression, & the Holidays” article
October 3, 2014.
You may/may not see expressions of sadness; if you do, say:
“Are you OK?” This may be enough for them to share what’s going on.
Allow them time to cry or express feelings.
We can’t force ourselves to be happy just because it’s the Holidays!
If you feel isolated or lonely, seek out community, religious, or other social events. They can offer support & compassion.
Volunteering is a great way to lift your spirits and make new friends!
You have something to
give to others: always!
Holidays don’t have to be perfect or “just like last year.” Choose a few traditions to hold on to & be open to creating new ones.
If your adult child cannot make it home this year, find ways to celebrate-sharing pictures, emails, videos, facetime, etc…
Try to accept family members & friends as they are: even if they don’t live up to your expectations.
Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion.
Be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry; they’re probably feeling the stress of the Holidays themselves!
Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend this season. Then, STICK TO IT!
Try these alternatives:
- donate to a charity in someone’s name
-give homemade gifts
-start a family gift exchange
Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends & other activities.
Plan menus & then make your shopping lists.
Line up help for party prep & clean-up!
Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful & overwhelmed.
Friends & family will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity!
If it’s not possible to turn down overtime, when requested, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for lost time.
Don’t Let the Holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to stress & guilt.
Have a healthy snack before Holiday parties so you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese, & drinks.
Get plenty of sleep Incorporate regular physical
activities into each day.
Make time for yourself; even just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you long enough to handle
everything you need.
Stress-reducing activities in order to clear your mind & gain inner calm:
Take a walk at night
Listen to soothing music
Get a massage
Read a book
If sadness or anxiousness persist:
Plagued by physical complaints
Unable to sleep
Irritable or hopeless
Unable to face routine chores
Call your doctor or a local mental health professional, or call your EAP.
Self-Care Tips
Holistic approach is best: mind, body & spirit!
Mediation, progressive relaxation, visualimagery, yoga, tai chi, deep breathing.
Aerobic exercise, walking, hiking, biking.
Healthy nutrition; fruits, vegetables, leanmeats; portion control; non-use of mood-altering substances.
Read daily (24 hr.) meditation books.
Establish a regular routine to practice theabove.
Reach out to & surround yourself with positivepeople!
,
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Management training
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Merry Christmas!!
For resources!
Contact Margie Roop: [email protected] with any questions or for more resources.
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