"HONI SOIT Vol. I., No. 2. U reregistered. MAY 10, 1929 Issued Gratis.

Hail Car nivalin ! ! Five years is a good still sentence. A Judge at Quarter Sessions would

have to be suffering from a bad attack of liver to impose it on the most hard-ened criminal. Without entering into the merits of the conviction in our case, we are bound to say that our welcome to the released prisoner is at least as warm as that which greeted Horatio Bottemley.

W e do not intend, however, to re-enter the arena with a bombastic pro-testation of innocence, or grandiose expression of future Intentions. The citizens of Sydney have been pleased to be amused by our frolics in the past. They are, we hope, now prepared, as we are, to let bygones be bygones, and will greet us with the same joy as that with which we thrust ourselves upon their notice.

"Honi Soit" hopes that it is not making an extravagant claim when it says that this year's procession will be one of the best yet. Sydney, no doubt, expects something good. It will get it in large measure. It has been whis-pered in our alert ears that an element exists which is prepared for a vulgar display. It will, it slyly hopes, be able to laugh inanely at a public expression of unbridled licence. That done, "Mother of Ten , " " P r o Bono Pub-lico," "Constant Reader," and "Man of the Wor ld" see the prospect of bursting into print with violent protests against uncontrollable youth.

Both will be sadly disappointed. Students of the University of Sydney

represent the future brains of the com-munity. They are keen students of the

ild they live in.—They air

Above All—Dignity. 44 p E M E M B E R W H O Y O U A R E , A N D W H O M A D D R E S S -

I N G , " in the words of the immortal Gilbert, might well be chosen as our message to those undergraduates who intend to take

part in the Festival procession. "Honi Soit," whose purpose it is, above all, to maintain the dignity of this great Corporation, would like to remind students that it is possible to have a good time without descending to hooliganism.

For many years the citizens of Sydney, accustomed for three hundred and sixty-four days of the year to look up to members of its great University as examples of all that is best in the Australian nation, gave us considerable freedom on that day of all days—"Commem." On that day they were wont to smile good-naturedly at our jibes and satires on public life, and thoroughly to enjoy our frolics through the "village." It is with considerable regret that "Honi Soit" recalls the fact that the privilege was abused. Citizens of Sydney suddenly awoke to the fact that its University students could be vulgar and coarse, disrespectful and uncontrollable. Such is the feeling of an indulgent parent who has given a child a high explosive with which to play, and is inexpressibly shocked to find that the child has blown itself and everything around it kite-high.

Is it, we ask, any wonder that Sydney's populace went very cold on the idea? Is it a matter for any great surprise that that august body, the Senate, issued a ukase against our rambles?

Now at last, after five years, the spirit of Carnivalia has been allowed to return from exile. Its advocates have been many and more or less eloquent ever since its banishment. W h o has swayed the powers that be? "Honi Soit" would like to let its readers into the secret. This Daniel come to judg-ment is no less a person than the Vice-Chancellor himself. W e are to be given another chance because Professor Wallace himself is one of us—in spirit. H e personally has undertaken that we will not again abuse the privilege. Can we be trusted? "Honi Soit" confidently answers in the affirmative.

Be as happy and as carefree as you like. Exercise your wit as much as you please. But remember that it is easy to be coarse and vulgar, easier to laugh at people, and very, very easy to make people laugh at you. You can. if you will, make them laugh W I T H you.

Let us repeat—Have a good time—but no hooliganism!!!

Have You Noticed T H A T we are to have a procession

this year, which will not force Commonsense" from a sense of public

duty, to write again to an evening newspaper?

T H A T 'Honi Soit" has already started two first-class rows?

T H A T the motto on the Canberra Coat-of-Arms has enabled a num-

ber of pedantic know-alls to air their superior knowledge?

T H A T Newcastle's most popular song is "John Brown's Body?"

T H A T budding Melbas and aspiring Carusos will be able to demonstrate

their ability on Wednesday, May 15, when song practice commences?

T H A T "Honi Soit" takes only the best?

THAT, mirabile dictu, no under-graduates were concerned, as far as

the police can ascertain, in Tuesday night's gunplay at Darlinghurst ?

T H A T the timber strike is likely to put white ants out of work?

T H A T , since Dr. Arthur got busy, Sffltch i» at—a dmeouwt among

Studes ? keen critics. They can satirise effec-tively, and they intend to do so. Whilst no one is safe from their shafts, we can assure the public that their observations, symbolic and otherwise, will be with-out malice.

T H E P R O J E C T . 1 hrough no ill-will on the part of

the Senate, but merely as the result of a constitutional technicality, this year's activities will not be called "Com-memoration." In the words of the old song, " 'Commem.' is our posses-sion," but we appreciate the difficul-ties confronting the authorities. W e will be content with the hope advanc-ed that next year will see a complete restoration of liberty, and continue to accept the makeshift of "Students* Festival."

I lie proposed route of the proces-sion. which awaits {>olice approval, is as follows: The students taking part will assemble in the Domain, and. issuing from the Bent Street gates, under the shadow of Shakespeare's immortals, will proceed along Mac-quarie Street into St. James' Square. From that point the procession will reach the University via College Street, Wentworth Avenue, Hay Street, Pitt Street. Central Square, and George StrwL. WrsL...entering the .UnirarsitM. grounds by the Derwent Street gates. Judging will take place in front c* tin-main buildings. The prize list is un-derstood to be extensive.

For the first time in the history of

Our Charter of Freedom. SENATE'S HISTORIC MESSAGE.

T H A T Surgical Alec has had his bagpipes punctured?

President, Undergraduates' Association.

Dear Sir,— I desire to inform you that the requests submitted by the Joint Com-

mittee were considered by the Senate yesterday.

The Senate has decided to allow the Undergraduates to hold a proces-sion through the City streets, confining the route to Macquarie Street, College Street, Wentworth Avenue, Pitt Street, and George Street West. The date selected, viz., Friday, May 24, did not meet with the approval of the Senate as that day will be celebrated as Empire Day throughout the City and suburbs.

The Senate understands from the Vice-Chancellor that the procession is to be in accordance with the suggestions made by Dr. Wallace.

Permission is also given to hold a festival on the University grounds after the procession. Doubtles« the function will be arranged for Thursday, May 23.

The requests of your Joint Committee regarding Commemoration of Benefactors, Carden Party, etc., have been referred to the Professorial Board for report. This means that these functions cannot take place this year during the month of Afay.

The SenaTe is riol Witting ~lo~attbiP'~the" Siuderirs'~ Feslivat to be slytcll' "Commemoration Festival."

T H A T "Honi Soit" already has a large circulation, in spite of a con-

temporary morning daily?

Hail Carnivalia!! (Continued, from Col. I.)

the event, an attempt will be made by those organising the procession (and they include an expert in Professor Hook) to represent the various phases of University life, in addition to the burlesque. Students will march in their Faculties (and, we hope, in full possession of their faculties), and we have been asked to appeal to members of the different Faculties to turn up in force. There will be much inter-faculty competition in the arrangement of symbolic tableaux on lorries.

Publisher's Notice Fox. the guidance of ie-y.tribu-tur-s -and

correspondents, it is pointed out that

Yours faithfully. W. A. SELLE,

Registrar.

The Editor's Bux iluses ut 6 o'clock on the Monday evening of each week.

The earlier contributions are received the more consideration, naturally, wilL, they be given.

"7

H O N ! SO IT May 10, 1929.

Smoke Clouds. "Sic transit gloria mundi."

Even from the early ages when man went forth to woo with club and caterpult, right through the times of Caesar and Catullus with their "bonum vinum" and "boldened vimen," until present day with toothpick and K.B. bottle, man has congregated in feasting and banqueting to celebrate great events. Some of the glories of the ancient world still remain, and one is to be aroused in the shades of the

evening on Wednesday, May 22, in the Union Hall. On that momentous occasion to the tune of the merry pop-ping of corks, the sweet munching of cheese, the gentle puffing of Wood-bines, and the chitter-chatter of clam-oring tongues, many will be initiated into the mysteries of a Smoke Concert such as is staged under the auspices of the Evening Students' Association.

Mr. Hammond cannot, we regret, be represented—nor can Dr. Arthur. However, the leading lights and the lesser luminaries of the 'Varsity will be present. The fatted cheese has been bared for the sacrifice, the shuddering ham and the nimble bean will be haled forth to the slaughter, whilst the main catering will be in the able hands of Tooths'.

Except for the harder heads, we guarantee that the breakfast egg, if fried, will leer ghoulishly at you the morning after. But we are afraid that we can make no recommendation for a suitable death for the demon who will persist in driving red-hot stakes into your head and hammering incessantly at your temple.

For those who visit the Railway Station, we must point out that the penny inserted in the pillar box will not result in the registration of their weight in the clock tower.

Two Texan giants will guard the portals of the mighty door, and woe betide the man who cannot hold his hops.

An Open Letter to Graduates O n e s t a r t ed t o wr i t e t h i s ep is t le

u n d e . t h e t i t le of " W h y w e pub l i sh ' H e r m e s , ' " a n d t h i n k i n g fo r s o m e t ime o n e w a s f o r c e d t o t h e conc lus ion t h a t o n e did no t k n o w of a s ingle valid r e a s o n fo r d o i n g so. T h a t is, of cour se , f r o m a p u r e l y u t i l i t a r i an po in t of view. A n idealist m a y p u t f o r w a r d s u c h a r -g u m e n t s as t h e l ink ing of g r a d u a t e s a n d u n d e r g r a d u a t e s a n d t h e s p r e a d i n g of t h e c u l t u r a l i n f luences of t h e A l m a Ma te r . S ince o n e ' s pos i t ion p r e c l u d e d s u c h a v iewpoin t , it w a s n e c e s s a r y to seek s o m e m o r e p o t e n t , m o r e m e r c e n -a r y r e a s o n .

Inqu i r i e s e l ic i ted o n e r e a s o n , t h a t t h e y did it last yea r . T h i s d o e s no t sa t i s fy a n y bu t t h e r eac t i ona r i e s . Not k n o w i n g h o w m a n y of t h e s e r e a d " H o n i S o i t " o n e did no t d a r e t o p r e s e n t it a s a bas i s fo r a n a r g u m e n t .

E v e r y b o d y k n o w s t h a t fo r m a n y y e a r s t h e r e h a v e b e e n n o d iv idends f r o m " H e r m e s . " S o m e k n o w t h a t if t h e r e w e r e , t h e y w o u l d b e s p e n t in such i n t e r e s t i n g a c t i o n s a s J o b s o n at t h e S .U .U.A. T h a t is bes ide t h e po in t . T h e ques t i on is: D o e s a n y b o d y w a n t " H e r m e s " ? Let t h e s u b s c r i b e r s ' c a r d index a n s w e r this. T h e r e a r e I 4 0 sub-sc r ibe r s t o t h e p a p e r , 30 of w h o m a r e wi th in t h e Un ive r s i ty . O n e h u n d r e d of t h e m p a y the i r s u b s c r i p t i o n s m o r e or less r egu l a r ly , t h e tes t a r e f r o m t w o to six y e a r s in a r r e a r s . " H e r m e s " is no t , s eeming ly , as i n t e r e s t i n g a s T h e S o n g Book . S o m e m a y say t h a t th i s is t h e f au l t of t h e ed i to r i a l s ta f f , bu t is t h e staff e x p e c t e d to p r o d u c e a b o o k of I 50 p a g e s a t t h e end of e a c h t e r m , to wr i t e t w e n t y p o e m s , a s h o r t s tory , o r two , a n d a p lay , t h r e e t imes a y e a r >

If no t , w h y does no t s o m e b o d y send in a c o n t r i b u t i o n , w h i c h h e or she con-s iders t o b e m o r e i n t e r e s t i n g t h a n t h e usua l r e a d i n g m a t t e r in t h e p a p e r ? Mr. Ed i to r c a n n o t be e x p e c t e d to d o m o r e in t h e w a y of w r i t i n g b o o k s t h a n t h e w h o l e Un ive r s i t y Staff (v ide " H o n i S o i t " ) .

T h e u n d e r g r a d u a t e s g rowled w h e n t h e las t issue of " H e r m e s " a p p e a r e d on s u p e r c a l e n d e r p a p e r . W h y ? W a s it t h a t t h e y did no t l ike t h e feel of t h a t p a p e r T h e r e a d i n g m a t t e r w a s of t h e i r o w n c o n c e p t i o n !

Le t t h o s e w h o feel d e s i r o u s of an-s w e r i n g th i s l e t t e r d o so in s u c h a m a n n e r t h a t t h e y a t t h e o n e t ime c o n -f u t e t h e w r i t e r , a n d he lp " H e r m e s . " A s a h u m b l e sugges t i on , send e i t he r a subsc r ip t ion , o r a c o n t r i b u t i o n .

T H E BUSINESS E D I T O R .

Ball This name does not signify a po-

tential game of Vigoro or Billiards, but is the brand given to all the mgher types of light-footed perambulations! It will go with a swing and vim hither-to unprecedented.

W e have our procession with us again; show your appreciation and let go your pent-up emotion by attending this great night!

Supper will be given away, and amongst those present will be such eaters as Carl Etto, etc., so do not be late for the provisions—our caterers are purveyors to King Googoo of Vladivostok.

Theatre Night This great show, always the most

popular of Festival celebrations, is now definitely on Tuesday night. May the 21st.

Come early and get your tickets, which are selling better than hot cakes, even better than hot dogs.

These tickets and the plans can be seen at the Union, Manning House, and the Law School.

The programme includes items by undergraduates, and the I ivoli man-agement are meeting us to an extent never before known.

Tickets cost 6 / 6 , 5 / - , and 2 / 6 . Booking closes at 6 p.m. on May

17th.

D O Y O U R T I C K E T B U Y I N G E A R L Y .

Song Practice On Wednesday, 15th, the Grand

j Opera seascn will officially open in the Union Hall. All tenors, sopranos (male and female) and others are or-dered to attend and swell the bellow-ing chorus of ribald mirth. W e have been privileged to read a few of this year's sings and never in all our long experience have we seen such wit, sar-casm, genius, and correct metrical quantities. This year marks an inno-vation in so far as song-practice will be devoted entirely to practising festi-val songs, and a special day and place will be set apart for the faculty-fight. So bring along your voices and leave at home your flour and soot.

The Wesley Nit-Wits

Have you ever had your fortune told? If you have not, we are sure that you would be delighted if you came along to the Wesley College Chamber of Horrors at the Students' Festival Carnival. W e will reveal for you all the secrets of your past life. W e also extend an open invitation to all your undergraduate friends—boys from Bondi, morons from Mosman,

Hants from the Glebe, -and poons Potts' Point.

here will be models present of all the notorious beauties from Helen of Troy to Nell of Old Drury. Ladies are cordially invited to compare their measurements. For the men and others not interested in beauty contests, there will be divers other amusements. Come.-«r.d let us delve, into your past and gaze into your future.

There will be tests of valour for the brave; grisly, ghastly, gruesome* hor-ror for the poor in spirit; and much curious sport for everyone.

•BRJ-W-EPv AND B0TTI.ED BY fOOTH. &

T O O T H ' S SHEAF STOUT For better health at lowest cost

¥ AGER is the logical lunch-eon liquor ... the tang of a

true lager giving a fillip to the appetite ... the high protein content definitely aiding di-gestion. Indoors or out, let Tooth's K.B. be your luncheon beverage. It's a true Lager.

TOOTH'S KB

LAGER

A Label to Remember !

U E R E ' S your guide to the Bitter Ale

with distinctive fla-vour, mellowness, and a satisfactory tang. Look at the label, and ask for Tooth's Sydney Bitter by its full name.

TOOTH'S SYDNEY BITTER

May 10, 1929.

The Talkies. T o t h e Ed i to r .—-The S.U. F i lm So-

c i e t y w h o l e h e a r t e d l y w e l c o m e s H o n i S o i t " a» a pub l i ca t ion s u p p l y i n g a n im-p o r t a n t n e e d in Un ive r s i t y l ife, a n d w o u l d even m o r e w h o l e h e a r t e d l y wel-c o m e t h e p r iv i l ege of s h o o t i n g y o u on sight f o r y o u r u n f a i r a t t a c k on t h e So-c ie ty .

T h e a r t i c l e w a s c o m p o s e d p r inc i -pally- of s t a t e m e n t s incons i s ten t wi th t h e f ac t s of t h e case , t o p u t it mildly. A p a c k of lies is n e a r e r t h e t r u t h . T o p r o v e th i s w e a s k p e r m i s s i o n t o dis-m e m b e r y o u r l e t t e r a n d show exac t ly w h a t it is w o r t h .

You say " T h e U n i o n w a s in t h e hab i t of s h o w i n g fi lms in t h e l u n c h h o u r . . . . a n d t h e tariff w a s f o u r -p e n c e a n h o u r N o w we h a v e a Film Soc ie ty w h i c h c h a r g e s us six-p e n c e f o r t h e s a m e old f a r e F i f ty p e r cen t , i n c r e a s e in tariff shou ld m e a n a f if ty p e r cent , i nc rease in se r -v i ce . "

T h e rep ly t o th i s is t h a t t h e tariff is still a t t h e r a t e of f o u r p e n c e an h o u r , s ince t h e Soc ie ty c h a r g e s s i x p e n c e fo r an h o u r a n d a h a l f ' s e n t e r t a i n m e n t , a n d this , a p a r t f r o m t h e i m p r o v e d ser-vice w h i c h h a s b e e n e f f ec t ed , a s will be s h o w n h e r e a f t e r . You mus t su re ly real ise t h a t it is no t a s p o r t s m a n l i k e t h i n g to rush in to p r i n t wi th a c c u s a -t i ons f o u n d e d on n o t h i n g bu t the first t h o u g h t t h a t e n t e r s t h e head . T h e Soc ie ty a l so does no t se rve u p t h e " s a m e old f a r e . " T h e a v e r a g e com-m e r c i a l p r o g r a m m e cons i s t s of t w o f e a t u r e films, comed ies , news- ree l s , a n d so on . P rev ious ly t h e U n i o n s h o w e d m e r e l y t h e s u p p o r t f e a t u r e , l eav ing ou t t h e h e a r t of t h e p r o g r a m m e . T h e so-cal led " v a r i e t y " supp l ied by s n a p p y r e m a r k s f r o m t h e a u d i e n c e is a m y t h , and a n y o n e will tel l y o u t h a t t h e vol-u m e of t h e a u d i e n c e ' s c o m m e n t is t h e s a m e n o w a s it w a s w h e n t h e U n i o n c o n t r o l l e d c i n e m a t o g r a p h e n t e r t a i n -m e n t .

A g a i n , you say " T h i s g r a m o p h o n e a n d its v a g r a n t a t t a c h m e n t s a r e con-s ide red suff ic ient t o jus t i fy t h e w h o l e c o n c e r n b e i n g ca l led t h e "Talkies." " Thi» s t a t e m e n t is a n o t h e r f a b r i c a t i o n . T h e a p p a r a t u s in its p r e s e n t f o r m is no t * " T a l k U . " a n d the Snr i r ty—has never c l a imed t h a t it is. It is t r u e tha t we h a v e app l i ed to t h e U n i o n for p e r -mission t o instal " T a l k i e s , " b u t t h e p r e sen t a p p a r a t u s is m e r e l y t h e p i c k - u p a n d ampl i f i e r uni t , w i th a loud s p e a k e r . You h a v e no t i ced t h a t it is no t w o r k -ing at all sa t i s fac tor i ly . T h e Socie ty h a s t r i ed ou t o v e r £ 1 5 0 w o r t h of ap-p a r a t u s in a n a t t e m p t t o find an a m -plif ier a n d loud s p e a k e r su i tab le to t h e acous t i c p r o p e r t i e s of t h e U n i o n Hal l . No a t t e m p t h a s a s yet been m a d e to s y n c h r o n i s e s o u n d a n d p i c tu re .

You a s k " D o w e s u p p o s e ou r se lves to b e c u l t u r e d g e n t l e m e n of a c u l t u r e d i n s t i t u t i o n ) " a n d t a k e e x c e p t i o n t o o u r use of t h e t e r m s " t a l k i e " a n d " m o v i e . " T h i s is yet a n o t h e r f a b r i c a t i o n , as w e have n e v e r used t h e t e r m " m o v i e " in c o n n e c t i o n wi th o u r e n t e r t a i n m e n t s . You shou ld k n o w , in a n y case , t h a t t h e t e r m " t a l k i e " is in un ive r sa l use in G r e a t Br i ta in .

T h i s y e a r w e have s h o w n fifty p e r cen t , of Bri t ish films, desp i te t h e f ac t tha t t h e a t t e n d a n c e on t h e days w e show these f i lms is smal ler t h a n w h e n we p r e s e n t A m e r i c a n - m a d e p i c tu re s . Last y e a r , w h e n w e w e r e ass is t ing t h e A p p e a l , w e s h o w e d 20 p e r cent , of Brit ish films.

The d a r k e n i n g of t h e l l a l l is no t in o u r h a n d s , b u t last y e a r w e i nduced

^ t h e U n i o n to instal d a r k b lue b l inds over t h e b r o w n ones , a n d th i s e f f ec t ed c o n s i d e r a b l e i m p r o v e m e n t .

j T h e p r o j e c t o r is a lmos t exac t l y t h e j s a m e m a c h i n e a s those- used in__th<» I P r i n c e E d w a r d a n d L y c e u m T h e a t r e s .

H O N I feet a s possible . It is well k n o w n , too , a m o n g s t t hose a c q u a i n t e d wi th c i n e m a p r o j e c t i o n , t h a t a p l a s t e r wal l is o n e of t h e best s u r f a c e s o b t a i n a b l e fo r a s c r een . T h e c a n v a s s c r e e n supp l i ed by t h e U n i o n in f r o n t of t h e s t a g e is q u i t e unsu i t ab le .

T h e m e n " g r o u p e d r o u n d t h e mus i c b o x " w h o you say shou ld p a y to go in, h a v e g iven u p a lot of the i r t ime in o r d e r t o p r o v i d e U n i o n m e m b e r s wi th p o p u l a r e n t e r t a i n m e n t .

In conc lus ion w e w o u l d like t o re -m i n d t h e U n d e r g r a d u a t e s A s s o c i a t i o n t h a t last y e a r t h e Fi lm Socie ty ex-t e n d e d to t h e m a c o u r t e s y w h i c h in-volved a f inanc ia l loss to t h e Soc ie ty , in d o n a t i n g £ 4 0 , w h i c h u l t ima te ly w e n t t o t h e A p p e a l t h r o u g h t h e S .U .U.A. If t h e Assoc ia t ion s a n c t i o n th i s u n j u s t a t -t a c k , it is e v e n q u i c k e r t o f o r g e t a g e s t u r e of f r i e n d s h i p t h a n it w a s t o m a k e use of t h e Fi lm Soc ie ty .

F ina l ly , p l ease d o no t i ndu lge in a r m c h a i r c r i t ic i sm.

C. R. P. J O H N S O N . H o n . Sec.

F o r t h e C o m m i t t e e , S .U.F.S.

( Y o u r q u a r r e l is w i t h " H o n i Soit,* p lease , Mr. J o h n s o n , no t t h e S .U .U .A . — E d . )

S O I T

Festival Week. W e regre t t o h a v e t o i n f o r m o u r r e a d e r s t h a t E m p i r e D a y h a s m a d e it

necessa ry t o m a k e subs tan t i a l a l t e ra t ions in t h e a r r a n g e m e n t s f o r Fes t iva l

W e e k . F a l l i n g a s it d o e s on M a y 2 4 , it h a s p u s h e d t h e process ion f o r w a r d

t o T h u r s d a y , M a y 2 3 , as the au thor i t ies wi l l not a l l o w t h e U n d e r g r a d u a t e s '

A s s o c i a t i o n to i n d u l g e in f ro l i c s in t h e Un ive r s i t y g r o u n d s on such a d a y .

( T o t h e Ed i to r of " H o n i S o i t . " ) R e a d i n g a c o p y of t h e f irs t issue of

y o u r p r o m i s i n g j o u r n a l . w e w e r e a m a z e d t o f ind c e r t a i n d i s p a r a g i n g s t a t e m e n t s in a n a r t i c l e en t i t l ed " A n O p e n L e t t e r t o t h e A l l eged ' T a l k i e s ' . " But w h o , indeed , a l l eges t h a t t h e fea -

In l ieu of T h u r s d a y , t h e t h e a t r e

en te r t a inmen t a t the T i v o l i T h e a t r e wi l l t a k e p l a c e on T u e s d a y evening a t 7 . 1 5 , w h e n fest ival songs wi l l be sung u n d e r

the b a t o n of " W a r b l i n g W a l t e r . " T h a t event of events , the E v e n i n g

t u r e s s h o w n have a n y tit le t o t h e epi-t h e t " T a l k i e " ) S u r e l y on ly those t en s of t h o u s a n d s of sat isf ied p a t r o n s , w h o , h a v i n g inves ted t h e i r h u m b l e " s p r a t , de l ight t o w e a v e p i sca to r i a l c o n v e n t i o n -al i t ies r o u n d t h e i r m a c k e r e l )

O n t h e o t h e r h a n d , w h o c a n d e n y t h a t t he se sessions a r e S o u n d S y n c h r o n -i s ed ) D o o u r e a r s deceive , o r have w e rea l ly ( a s w e h a v e good r e a s o n t o be l i eve ) h e a r d t h e gen t l e b l ea t i ng of t h e " K i n g of Beas t s , " as well as t h e re -v e r b e r a t i n g t h u n d e r of d a i n t y f o o t s t e p s o n c a r p e t - c o v e r e d H o l l y w o o d (Br i t i sh is b e s t ) s t a i rways , t h a t i nva r i ab le h e r -ald of t h e s t a m p e d e l e c t u r e - w a r d s ) H a v e w e ) E c h o ( s h o w i n g t r u e Im-p e r i a l p r e f e r e n c e ) a n s w e r s :

My Co lon i a l O a t h ! Y o u r s , e tc . ,

P .N.R.S.

S t u d e n t s ' S m o k o wi l l n o w t a k e p l a c e in the U n i o n H a l l a t 8 o ' c lock on

W e d n e s d a y even ing . M a y 2 2 .

T h e R e u n i o n D inne r a r r a n g e d fo r M o n d a y in t h e U n i o n R e f e c t o r y re -ta ins its o r ig ina l posi t ion in t h e p r o -

g r a m m e .

T h u r s d a y , M a y 2 3 , is n o w t h e big d a y . In add i t i on to t h e process ion ,

w h i c h c o m m e n c e s f r o m t h e D o m a i n at ! 0 o ' c l o c k , the Un ive r s i t y g r o u n d s wi l l

be u n d e r t h e inf luence of t h e spirit of C a r n i v a l i a ( i n t o x i c a t i n g ? Y o u wi l l h a v e t o find ou t f o r you r se lve s )

t h r o u g h o u t t h e a f t e r n o o n a n d evening. Y o u d o not expec t us to out l ine a l l t h e

diversions w h i c h h a v e been a r r a n g e d f o r your a m u s e m e n t , d o y o u ? C o m e a l o n g , a n d see fo r yourse lves .

O r i g i n a l l y a r r a n g e d fo r W e d n e s d a y , M a y 2 2 , the Fes t iva l B a l l wil l o c c u p y

t h e evening of F r i d a y , M a y 2 4 . W e g u a r a n t e e t h a t it wi l l b e a g a l a event . In t h e U n i o n R e f e c t o r y , w h e r e a l l g o o d

th ings a r e .

NEW WONDER

SAXOPHONE PLAY A SAXOPHONE FOR PLEASURE AND PROFIT

CONN SAXOPHONES ARE THE WORLDS BEST T h e r e i s n o t h i n g c a n c o m p a r e w i t h a C o n n S a x o p h o n e f o r b r i n g i n g y o u p l e a s u r e a n d p r o f i t t h e w h o l e y e a r r o u n d . I t s p o s s i b i l i t i e s a r e u n l i m i t e d .

P R I C E S :

S O P R A N O S A X O P H O N E £ 3 7 / 1 0 / -

E b A L T O S A X O P H O N E 4 4 / 1 0 / -

C M E L O D Y S A X O P H O N E 4 5 / 1 0 / -

B b T E N O R S A X O P H O N E 4 7 / 1 0 / -

E a c h S a x o p h o n e i s h e a v i l y s i l v e r - p l a t e d , w i t h g o l d i n s i d e b e l l , r i c h l y e n g r a v e d , a n d h i g h e s t p o s s i b l e finish. T h e p r i c e s i n c l u d e a l l p l a y i n g a c c e s s o r i e s , e t c . , a h a n d s o m e p l u s h - l i n e d l o c k

u p c a r r y i n g c a s e . O u r exc lus ive C o n n A g e n c y also c a r r i e s t h e W o r l d ' s Best in C o r n e t s , T r u m p e t s , T r o m b o n e s . H o r n , a n d O r c h e s t r a l D r u m s a n d Ef fec t s . W e h a v e a c o m p e t e n t staff of T e a c h e r s in t h e A lbe r t Co l l ege of Music , w h o o b t a i n exce l l en t r e s u l t , wi th S a x o p h o n e b e g i n n e r s . W e a lso s tock a n ex tens ive r a n g e of S a x o p h o n e I n s t r u c t i o n Books Books of Solos, Solos in S h e e t F o r n i . . e t c - e l u d i n g Rudy W i e d o e f t ' s M o d e r n M e t h o d fo r t h e S a x o p h o n e ( R u d y W . e d o e f t .s a c k n o w l e d g e d to be t h e Kr .es le r of t h e Saxo-p h o n e " ) . A l so a w o n d e r f u l Pos ta l C o u r s e of S a x o p h o n e Lessons . P r i ce S.Z 2 -.

- When j ' n Town Call in for Fr^.e Demonstration.

T o i m p r o v e on th* a p p a r a t u g u»eri by j g -t h e U n i o n , w e h a v e ins ta l led a m o t o r g e n e r a t o r a n d a m i r r o r a r c , a n d t h e | p r o j e c t i o n a t p r e s e n t is as n e a r l y p e r - '

J. ALBERT & SON, 137-139 King Street, Sydney j imHiimmiiiinmwMiiMUumm.iiommimir*

4

LETTERS TO Those Tram Fares

T o the Editor.— i he touching plea of a Med. Fresher in the shape ot an extremely ingenuous letter to your paper, must surely have touched all hearts. Even the Women Under-graduates must have been moved to pity ere they passed judgment. My first feeling was one of intense aston-ishment. That a Med. Fresher would actually consider the possibility of pay-ing someone else's tram fare was a possibility not dreamt of in my phil-osophy.

The puzzled fresher would have us believe the following facts:

( a ) H e is very worried.. ( I would suggest nerve nuts at stated intervals —notably during lectures).

(b) It is impossible for him to dodge the "woman." (I 've heard that one before).

(c) He has calculated expenses over a period of seven years with ter-rifying results. (At last we are on familiar ground).

Naturally enough the Age of Reason has little time for the Age of Chivalry. It would seem on the face of things that the question, "Should Men pay Women Students' tram fares?" is as fruitless as "Should women stand in trams? * But there are a few considerations which make the former question a matter for con-troversy. In the first place we find it difficult to believe that the puzzled fresher catches the same tram—liter-ally speaking—as the troublesome "woman" on every occasion. Apart from the sheer miracle of a Med. stu-dent paying someone else's fare, the misfortune must be on the fresher s own head. Either he is organically lazy, or he is proving that even in the

H O

THE EDITOR. tram a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. W e are thus faced with an interesting psychological contretemps. As yet the innocent fresher cannot analyse the strange force which compels him to seat himself by the "woman" and bravely ignoring his shameful tram pass, to drag forth the sum of eight-pence. On the other hand the financial instinct struggles fiercely. No wonder then the poor fresher is worried.

1 think that if the fresher continually meets the "woman" in the tram, she should hand forth the plebeian coppers as naturally as she might stroll in min-utes late for a nine o'clock lecture. The whole question really hinges on the problem of to show or not to show the humble pass, and my opinion is that it should be treated as an academic privi-lege to be taken advantage of on every occasion. And so, let the woman take the initiative and keep her tram pass as she does her powder puff—• within easy access. Surely then the fresher will be worried no longer when he sees "the treasured" privilege—her pass—"come sliding out of her sacred glove."

A S Y M P A T H E T I C W O M A N U N D E R G R A D U A T E .

Judge for Yourself ( T o the Editor. "Honi Soit .")

Comrade and Fellow Shirker:— I have a sad duty to perform. Com-

rade. I have to draw your attention to the fact that you have grossly, if unintentionally, misrepresented us to the masses. I refer. Comrade, to this passage from a contemporary dai ly :—

"Honi Soit." the weekly newspaper of the University undergrads., the first edition of which appeared yesterday, is

NI SOIT Answers to Contributors.

P.T.K.—You have done better than thin. Your "Important M8." recalls to us the story of a critic who, on bring asked if Fred Terry's play "The War of the Hoses" teas like the real thing, replied " A ' o — m u c h longer and much bloodier."

Pro Bono Publico.—There's some good stuff in it if tee could only X/KIre the time. Will probably use next week.

Jeanette.—"! verily think 1 harr written enough, since I cannot decipher a word of the stuff."

We are less fortunate—we could. Frederick.—You are a thoughtful

youth, Freddie—you attached to the front of your effort the information that it contained 600 words. We liked the tiOOth.

"Cyril the Stude."—»'< hated it. and, in point of fact, it was removed from the premises, with the aid of a pair of tongs. Bilious is spelt with one "I" anyhow. The whole performance made us feel sick.

"Amos."—You trifle with us. Pro-fessor llrereton might teach you the rudiments of F.nglish. We . ixtwewr, doubt it.

a sad disappointment. If it represents the spirit of the present-day student the Senate should have no qualms about letting the "bad boys" loose for their procession on Commem. Day.

"Honi Soit" is as dull as a suburban free sheet.

"Look what the bird hath done io its own nest."

What have we done to deserve this of you?

And "suburban free-sheet"! Com-rade, what C A N you do with your threepences on Fridays?

I hope this week's issue will prove an improvement in this respect, and that it will be something that really can be read by the sensitive staff of our contemporary, who wish to retain their respectability, and whose wishes, as workers in a common cause, we ought to respect.

I am, yours laboriously. " G R E A S E R I . "

May 10, 1929.

Dancing in the Union on Thursday, May 2'6

This year the Engineers have charge of the dancing in the Union on Thurs-day afternoon and evening of Festival Weed. As all know. Engineers do everything efficiently, so that there is no room for doubt as to the quality of their, entertainment. The great feature is the night club. It opens at 8 p.m. and stays open as long as the police permit. This den of iniquity is hidden in the Union Hall. Follies and ballets will be a feature. Drug addicts are asked to bring their own "snow," as the Union supply is d e -pleted. Exotic drinks and foods will be on tap.

Freshers' and Novices' Boxing Tournament T h e F r e s h e r s ' a n d N o v i c e s ' B o x i n g

T o u r n a m e n t will b e h e l d in t h e G y m -n a s i u m o n No . 2 O v a l o n t h e 13 th . I 5 t h , a n d I 7 th M a y .

T h e p r e l i m i n a r y b o u t s wil l b e he ld o n M o n d a y a n d W e d n e s d a y , a n d t h e f ina l s o n F r i d a y , b e t w e e n I a n d 2 p . m .

A l l i n t e r e s t e d a r e u r g e d t o a t t e n d .

Buttons! Buy your Festival Button before

they all go. Price 1 / 6 to members and 2 / - to others. Only by buying a button can you save yourself and save others. This button guarantees you free admission to the grounds, and is itself guaranteed to neither rip, tear, burst, nor corrode.

Memo to Correspondents If you want us to print your letters, at

least couch them in Rood English. Write leg-ibly, and do not insult us by scribbling on a tram ticket in any old live minutes of leisure. The temper of our sub-editor is short, and compositors' time shorter.

Contributors are advised that we are unable to handle copy satisfactorily unless it is writ ten on one side of the paper only.

PRINTED and Published by The I-and News-paper Ltd., 57-59 Regent Street, Sydney, for the University I'ndergraduates' Associa-tion.

COMMEMORATE THE OCCASION Get a new suit to-measure and leave your old one to be cleaned and pressed by D A V I D J O N E S '

TWEED SUITS TO-MEASURE 7,8,9gns. As Tweed Suits have been decreed the smartest and most serviceable for every-day wear, we suggest you get one ! Have it cut to your exact measurements and tailored by David Jones' experts. Your choice lays in Donegal 1 weeds, Ballymenas, Perthshires, Yorkshires and Cromartys.all of which David Jones' stock in the very latest colors and patterns. Select while range is complete 7, 8 & 9gns.

D A V I D J O N E S ' Castlereagh, Market and Elizabeth Streets.

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C L E A N I N G & PRESSING SERVICE

David Jones' will sponge and press your Suit for 3 /6 , and if you leave it before Q.30 a.m. it will be ready by 5.30 p.m. It will save time if you leave it in your own suitcase. David Jones' cannot collect or deliver for this service. Suit or Overcoat thoroughly cleaned and pressed for 8/6 . Leave Garments at the Tailoring Department Lower Ground

opp. G.P.O.