How are we going to celebrate when Who should we call when.. Ten years from now. Sure, there will be bumps along the road. It wont always be easybut youll do it. Its in you! Positive Predicting Neg side Positive thinking fools our minds into perceiving that weve already attained our goal, slackening our readiness to pursue it. Positive thinking is pleasurable, but that doesnt mean its good for us. Like so much in life, attaining goals requires a balanced and moderate approach, neither dwelling on the downsides nor a forced jumping for joy. Gabrielle Oettingen, NY Times Article The other side of positive thinking Kids at hope Three Universal Truths Children succeed when they are surrounded by adults who believe they can succeed no exceptions. Children succeed when they have meaningful and sustainable relationships with caring adults. Children succeed when they can articulate their future in four domains rather than one: Home and Family; Education and Career; Community and Service; and Hobbies and Recreation. KidsatHope.com 1.Do you think youll attend a trade school, junior college or four year school? 2.What professions are you leaning towards? 3.Do you think youll travel a lot when youre older? Where? 4. Big family or small? Will you help your kids with their homework? 5. Would you prefer to live in a big city or small town? 6. What kind of hobbies will you have when youre older? 7. Will you be generous, and give your time and money to those in need? Future Oriented Questions Biz cards Master Art Design & Graphics Kenneth Thompson, President Art from the heart! Tel/Fax: Website:Thompson & Associates Create business cards for your students. Have them network! diploma College Bound Kids! Joshua Future Engineer Joshua Brown Mary anec Does assume that change is inevitable, not uncertain. Assumptions (or lack thereof) The 2015 Betty Rarely overheats! No backfiring! Slicker design! More popular! Theres no such thing as same old me. We get better every day! snowball The Melting Snowball See your fears and worries about (pending issue/loss/transition) as a big snowball in the middle of your chest, and understand that as each day goes by, its going to melt a little. It may stay forever. But it will become so small that you can build a great life around it. poker Life is like a game of poker. Even if youre dealt a bad hand, you can still win the game. Even if youre dealt a bad hand You can still play in the band! Poker & Life >tickets You cant get in anywhere without a ticket Sudden BURSTS of Positivity! Provides.. Tell a joke, play music, show a film clip, have them recall a great moment or day, tell them how much you enjoy being part of their lives, praise, feed, read something inspirational. Commit a deliberate act of kindness Other ideas?__________________________________________________ Rapid Fire Infusing Strength-Based Practice Emerging approach to helping people that is more positive and hope-inspiring. Powerful combination of the strength- building model and solution-focused communication. Solution-Focused Questions The Language of Hope and Possibility! Explorative Historical: How many kids have been, or are, in similar situations? How many succeeded? So why cant you? What steps did they take to succeed? ? Has any other assignment worried you like this one? Qualifiers and Partial Statements: I hate this class! > So youre pretty upset with this class right now. My parents fight. So sometimes your parents argue. Nothing ever goes my way. Sometimes it seems nothing goes right, eh? Visit: Past Tense: Im stupid. So you havent been feeling real smart, lately? When and Will: Ill never pass that test. When you do, what will it feel like? Scaling Questions: On a scale of one-to-ten, ten being the highest probability of accomplishing this, what number do you think youre at now? What number will it be in 3 months? Identifying In-Between Change: What will be the first sign that youve turned the corner? Amplifying Change using Speculation: Why were you able to change in such a great way? Its okay if youre not sure. But I have to wonder if its because youre getting older and more mature and are making better decisions, or if its related to doing better in school can open doors for you? I dont know, but people really see you making an effort! Tip: Its better to speculate about things that are unlikely To be rejected by the youth. Changing Perspective Question: How come youre not doing worse? Self esteem.. Self-Esteem Building To help kids enhance low self esteem, show a genuine interest in their interests/strengths & provide tasks and activities that offer a : Universal Opportunity for Individual Success Academic tasks they understand and can accomplish Special chores and/or work/vocational opportunities Games, often of chance, they can all win Community Projects Technological endeavors Match with a mentor Sports and other after-school groups/activities Helping or mentoring younger kids or others D vs. U SB Focus: Doing vs. Understanding trumpet Every kid needs his/her own special niche! Trumpet Success Hang accomplishments, create and maintain a scrapbook, send postcards home, etc. p0ostcards Postcard Exercise 1.Please write a postcard to your parent(s), relative or a friend: Dear _________________________, Your son, daughter, cousin, friend (name____________) recently attended a two-day training I conducted in Danvers, MA. The training topic was How To Use a Positive, Strength-Based Approach with At-Risk Students.(Your name________) was a fabulous attendee. He/she was very invested in the topic and an active participant. ______s strong passion for at-risk kids was evident throughout. I was honored to work with him/her. Warm regards, Charlie Appelstein, MSW Explos child Helping Inflexible/Explosive Children & Yout h Characteristics of Such Kids: Display deficits in frustration tolerance Generally do not respond well to consequences and rewards (i.e. traditional motivational approaches) Symptoms are thought to emanate more from neuro- logical as opposed to psychological factors Prone to stubborn, inflexible, explosive outbursts Often display genuine remorse after an episode Most of this material is from The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, Ph.D. How to Help: Create user-friendly environments Determine which behaviors need to be addressed and how best to respond. Categorize behaviors and responses into one of three boxes: A = Safety B = Room for compromise & negotiation C = Ignore As kids meltdown and approach vapor lock, immediately distract, empathize, and offer aid. Help them to downshift into a calmer state. Such kids are often helped by learning how to negotiate and compromise when agitated. A B C A = Non-negotiable, often a safety concern. B = Room for compromise and negotiation C = Ignore The Baskets The Truth about Individualized Plans Common Perception (Cognitive distortion) No fair! Hes getting a head start! Individualized Plans What is Real! Diff talk The Differences Talk millimeter The Millimeter Acknowledgement Do you think its slightly possible that perhaps, maybe. Could, maybe, 1% of this have something do with SB practice does not assume that ownership of guilt is somehow automatically curative. Hello good Examples: Goodbye to: Living w/family of origin Hello to: Foster or adoptive care Goodbye to: Loss of idealized childhood Hello to: What was real, the good that can remembered, and life ahead. Grief stages You cant say hello until you first say goodbye Stages of Grief: Shock & Denial Anger Sadness Acceptance Seeing Seeing is Believing (Unconditional support) vs. Believing is Seeing (Standard behavior management).. which produces Optimism which feeds possibility, and motivates coping and adaptive behavior, even in the face of difficult odds Seeing is BELIEVING! You Da man! Were excited that youre here! NOT: Believing is Seeing! Well treat you nicely once you put that slingshot down, lose some weight, and get rid of that ridiculous hat! Deliberate Act of Kindness Think about performing a: Think about committing a: Working with Families Key Principles, Terms and Concepts The more the relationship between families and the school is a real partnership, the more student achievement increases. When schools engage families in ways that are linked to improving learning, students make greater gains. When families are engaged in positive ways, rather than labeled as problems, schools can be transformed from places where only certain students prosper to one where all children do well. From Beyond the Bake Sale * Working with Families Key Principles, Terms and Concepts The Continuum of Parental Involvement 1.Engagement 2.Participation 3.Empowerment 4.Graduation * Engage brownies Ill give you five buck for that brownie! Engage! Fam work principles Staff and parents form: Interlocking partnerships Staff view parents as: Collaborators Family-friendly work is: Cultural rather than Compartmental cueing Strength-based practice does not assume LARGE problems require LARGE efforts for solutions. Assumptions (or lack thereof) Key: Use Rhythm, Repetition, Rhyming, and Humor Proven winners: NBD (No big deal) easier than one, two, three! When you get mad, dont do bad, just talk or walk.. Let it go, Joe! Just stay cool no need to blow. Dont move all over the place, sit and learn with a happy face. mulford. Produce catchy mantras that can create neuropathways The brain is designed to change in response to patterned, repetitive stimulation. One-Line Raps Coping Thoughts Stop and Stop and think Dont be a dink! Stop and listen Cause you dont know what youre missin! Dont be silly Cover your willy! If you If you hurt number one Its never better when youre done.. Boot c I can make it if I choose Only I can make me lose! I can make it if I choose Time to kick the drugs and booze! If you lose hope Dont do dope! If it is to be, its up to me! music William James in 1890 wrote: Humans have a susceptibility to music. Active participation in music creates a bond between the participants. While music can calm us, animate us, comfort us, thrill us, or serve to organize and synchronize us at work or play it may be especially powerful and have great therapeutic potential. From Musicophelia by Oliver Sacks I can, I will I gotta chill And when I do Its quite a thrill! Let it go, Joe Just stay cool No need to blow Read a word Read a letter Every step makes it better! Write a letter Write a story Every sentence brings me glory! I can do it...I can do it Getting along Getting along keeps me strong Getting along is my favorite song To make a friend you gotta treat kids nice From me to you heres some advice Give kids their space Its their place Dont poke its not a joke Dont make the noise if it annoys Take turns when you talk If you dont, the kids will walk classification There are eight levels of classification Yeah, eight! There are eight levels of classification Really eight! We classify living things into groups, so that organisms are easier to study. We classify thingsinto groups..Into Groups (Faster) Taxonomy is the science of classification! Classification! (Slower) Taxonomy is the s-c-i-e-n-c-e of classification (Slow) And Linnaeus invented a naming system.. called binomial nomenclature. (Still slow) And each organism is given a two-part name (slowly) A two-part name (Fast) The genus is the first part which is capitalized! - Hey its Capitalized The Classification Song Never give up Never Give Up The pain inside just multiplies Behind closed doors, a young boy cries The monster roars, innocence dies Emotions flare, hate fills his eyes He hears a voice: Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope Cant do it, he screams Got no one, got no dreams. Tortured nights are my companion. Pain is deep as the Grand Canyon. The voice gets louder: Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope You are amazing, a gift to the world. Let your awesomeness unfurl. I dont know if I can? Sometimes I feel like a shell of a man. Even when I do smile and laugh. Hiding scars from broken glass. Colors to me, are far too grey. Ive struggled so hard to find my way. And the voice is piercing! Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope You are amazing, a gift to the world. Let your awesomeness unfurl. Never give up, never give up. He hears these words and starts to grin Cause theyre coming from within!!!! Dont y Dont yell Gently t-e-l-l Dont yell Gently t-e-l-l As they get louder, you get quiet Cmon mom, its time to try it! Hey mom, hey dad, your kids arent a rental Youve got to know em developmental Dinner at six Shower at Eight Bed at nine, cause its getting late All families need routines Just like kids hate eating greens! Routines Cueing Exercise