how i overcame my trauma & ptsd | self-help guide & workbook | mindfulness based trauma treatment

8/14/2019 HOW I OVERCAME MY TRAUMA & PTSD | Self-help guide & workbook | Mindfulness Based Trauma Treatment

1/261


2/261


3/261

Edpyrmh`t :5 \`mamppg MzfnmadvNaa rmh`ts rgsgrvgb. Gxegpt ns gxpamemtay prdvmbgb idr jy anw,od pnrt di t`ms jddc fny jg rgprdbuegb dr trnosfmttgb monoy idrf dr jy noy fgnos, gagetrdome dr fge`nomena,moeaubmoh p`dtdedpymoh, rgedrbmoh dr jy fgnos di noymoidrfntmdo stdrnhg nob rgtrmgvna systgf, wmt`dut t`g wrmttgopgrfmssmdo di t`g nut`dr nob t`g pujams`gr.

R`ms pujamentmdo ms bgsmhogb td prdvmbg neeurntg nobnut`drmtntmvg moidrfntmdo mo rghnrb td t`g sujkget fnttgredvgrgb. Mt ms sdab wmt` t`g uobgrstnobmoh t`nt t`g nut`dr (drt`g pujams`gr) ms odt gohnhgb mo rgobgrmoh psye`dadhmena,imonoemna, aghna dr dt`gr prdigssmdona sgrvmegs. Mi gxpgrtnssmstnoeg dr eduosgaamoh ms oggbgb, t`g sgrvmegs di n

edfpgtgot prdigssmdona s`duab jg sduh`t. R`g moidrfntmdoedotnmogb mo t`ms wdrcjddc ms motgobgb td jg gbuentmdona.

R`g nutgur nob pujams`gr nrg mo od wny amnjag idr noy usg drfmsusg di t`g moidrfntmdo. R`g mbgns, tge`omqugs nobsuhhgstmdos mo t`ms wdrcjddc nrg odt motgobgb ns sujstmtutgidr gxpgrt fgbmena, sujstnoeg njusg, dr fgotna `gnat`bmnhodsms, nbvmeg dr trgntfgot. Mi ydu nrg uobgr t`g enrg di`gnat` enrg prdigssmdona pagnsg edosuat wmt` t`gf natgrmohydur trgntfgot pano. R`g nbvmegs nob tge`omqugs w`me` nrgtncgo bdwo mo t`ms jddc fmh`t odt jg npprdprmntg (sumtnjag)idr ydur spgemime smtuntmdo. ]du duh`t td edosuat n spgemnamstjgidrg bgembmoh td stnrt wmt` Fmobiuaogss Jnsgb Rrnufn

Rrgntfgot.

www.FmobiuaogssJnsgbRrnufnRrgntfgot.edf

MUJO; =80-=2-=>9>:-


4/261

M idrhmvg ydu

\`mamppg


5/261

EDORGOR

X`nts t`g fnttgr wmt` fg4 9Utdrnhg bgpdt di fgfdrmgs >2Onsty fgfdrmgs nrg addcmoh idr n wny dut >=Moiaugoeg di upjrmohmoh nob ogmh`jdur`ddb do`nobamoh gfdtmdos ::Fy bgimomtmdo di trnufn :2\`mamppg-rgnetmdo :8Fmobiuaogss jnsgb trnufn trgntfgot 5. Rncg-dii 57Utgp :. Rrnufn-`uotmoh 2@dw M nf e`nohgb >09Bd's nob bdo'ts di trnufn-fgbmtntmdo >08Wsgs di t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdo >=2Zgamgvg imonoemna wdrrmgs >==Utgp 9. Idrhmvmoh nob agttmoh hd :>Fgtnp`drs :2>Uditwnrg nob Edffuomty :20Enpnjmamty tgst :7


6/261

X`nts t`g fnttgr wmt` fg4

Mts Uuobny, Nprma 2t`, Gnstgr. Kgsus `ns rmsgo irdf `msbgnt`, do t`g t`mrb bny nitgr `ms eruemimxmdo. M `nvgrgne`gb n bgnbadec mo fy amig. M usg notmbgprgssnots nobM bdot codw `dw td hd do wmt` fy amig noyfdrg. Mo nigw fdot`s Maa jg 55 ygnrs dab.

M `nvg rgne`gb gvgryt`moh M nmfgb nt. Mvg hdt n `dusgdi fy dwo, fy gbuentmdo, fy enrggr, n enr, nrgantmdos`mp. Gxnetay amcg M `nb mo fmob mo fy brgnfs. Mnawnys t`duh`t t`nt t`g iuaimaafgot di fy brgnfs wduabfncg fg `nppy. X`y nf M iggamoh sd uo`nppy mostgnb4Idr ygnrs nob ygnrs M `nvg wdrcgb fy jrnmos dut tdrgnamzg naa t`ms. @nvg imvg ygnrs di uomvgrsmty gbuentmdo moZussmn, idur ygnrs di `mh`gr vdentmdona gbuentmdo mot`g Ogt`granobs, wdrcmoh `nrb mo invdr di fy enrggrnob naa t`g dt`gr strnmomoh giidrts, naa jggo mo vnmo4

X`nts t`g rgnsdo t`nt fy brgnfs inmagb t`g wny t`gybmb4 Eduab mt pdssmjay jg t`nt M `nvg e`dsgo fy brgnfs

t`g wrdoh wny4 Nob w`nts t`g sdureg di naa t`gsg onstygfdtmdos w`me` fncg fy amig sd fmsgrnjag4 R`gy `nvgmfprmsdogb fg. M enot s`ncg t`gf dii fg noyfdrg.

R`gy nrg t`g jdss odw. Mf bdmoh fy utfdst td ideusdo sdfgt`moh gasg, amcg M usgb td bd burmoh t`g pnsttwgoty ygnrs, jut Mf odt enpnjag di bdmoh t`ms noyfdrg

nt naa, gvgo mi ydu s`duab jgnt fg td bgnt`! X`ntswrdoh wmt` fg4


7/261

Imrst fggtmoh wmt` t`g psye`dadhmst

R`g gob di Kuog. Dutsmbg mt iggas stmecy enusgb jy t`gsuffgr `gnt. Do t`g wny td fy psye`dadhmst mot`duh`t Mf tnacmoh td fysgai. X`nt nrg ydu hdmoh tdtgaa `gr noywny4 ]du bdot rgfgfjgr n t`moh, w`me`eduab jg wdrt`w`mag td tnac njdut wmt` t`gpsye`dadhmst! M wdrry njdut t`ms nob M igga humatyjgenusg M bdot wnot td hd spdmamoh `gr tmfg.

Do nrrmvna Mf jgmoh wgaedfgb jy n sagobgr wdfnowmt` n s`drt jadob `nmrstyag, wgnrmoh n amh`t hrggo rnt`griamfsy brgss nob s`g `ns n pagnsnot sfmag. U`g jgnrs nrgfnrcnjag rgsgfjanoeg wmt` t`g irdot wdfno di t`gZdxgttg jnob. M wdobgr njdut `gr nhg. Jut t`nt msot n

prdpgr qugstmdo td nsc!, M sny td fysgai! M tncg `gr td jgn jmt dabgr t`no M nf. M enot `gap t`mocmoh nt doeg di nfdvmg ignturmoh n eamgot, w`ds hdmoh td hgt no niinmr

wmt` `gr psye`dadhmst. R`nts odt hdmoh td `nppgo tdfg, msot mt4 ]du `nvg nargnby iduob t`g advg di yduramig, snys n amttag vdmeg mosmbg fg. Msot s`g n eutmg4,nodt`gr amttag vdmeg ms nscmoh. Edfg do \`mamppg, w`ntbd ydu t`moc ydurg up td4 ]duvg edfg td t`ms panegidr tdtnaay bmiigrgot purpdsgs! Bd ydu rgfgfjgr4

Fy psye`dadhmst sfmags nt fg w`mag hmvmoh fg `gr `nob.U`g motrdbuegs `grsgai ns Kgoomigr nob nscs fg td tncg nsgnt. R`g edovgrsntmdo ms bgvgadpmoh vgry anjdrmdus. Mo

Zussmn gvgry amttag jdy agnros td jgedfg n rgna tduh`fno. R`ms fgnos t`nt no dwogr di t`g fnag sgx drhno msodt naadwgb td onh, edfpanmo, ery dr uttgr onsty iggamohs.Mo t`g prgsgoeg di n wdfno `g nawnys `ns td jg`nvg


8/261

amcg n rgna fno. Ud t`nts w`nt M bd. Odt jgenusg Mwnot td, jut jgenusg t`nts t`g wny M nf. Idrtuontgay

Kgoomigr s`dws n adt di pntmgoeg wmt` fy Zussmnofnseuamomty. U`g nscs fg td tgaa `gr njdut fy amig.Njdut fy amig4, M nsc. ]gs, s`g snys wmt` `gr sdit

vdmeg. X`grg ydu nrg jdro, `dw ydur ydut` wgot jynob `dw ydu gfmhrntgb irdf Zussmn td t`gOgt`granobs.

M jghmo td tgaa `gr njdut fy ydut`. Nitgr n s`drt w`mag Mnargnby rgne` n bgnbadec mo fy stdry. Amcg n vdaenomegruptmdo motgosg gfdtmdos nrg edfmoh td t`g surinegdut di t`g bnrc bgpt`s di fy pnst. M sgosg n iurmdusnohgr nob n iggamoh di snbogss edfmoh motd fy fmob ntt`g snfg tmfg. Mf do t`g vgrhg di jurstmoh motd tgnrs,

di w`me` Mf odt enpnjag. Zgna fgo bdot ery, ns M `nbjggo tgne`gb. M bdot bnrg td addc nt Kgoomigr. Mftgrrmjay ns`nfgb di fy gfdtmdos. Mf stnrmoh nt n amh`tjrdwo amttag ediigg stnmo do t`g wnaa-td-wnaa enrpgtmoh.Mf tdtnaay stuec. Mf subbgoay od adohgr njag td sny nsmohag wdrb. Kgoomigr nscs fg mi mt prdjnjay wduab jg

gnsmgr idr fg td put t`g stdry di fy amig mo wrmtmoh,mostgnb di onrrntmoh mt. R`ms ms w`nt Mf hdmoh td bd. Mfhdmoh `dfg nob M stnrt wmt` fy `dfgwdrc. Mf hdmohtd put bdwo idr `gr mo wrmtmoh naa t`g t`mohs w`me` M stmaaeno rgfgfjgr.

Burmoh t`g imrst twgoty ygnrs di fy amig, ognray gvgry bny

wns imaagb wmt` n adt di strgss, M igat uosnig nobirgqugotay M wns dvgrw`gafgb jy `nvmoh ignr idr fyamig. M nawnys cgpt t`g iggamohs di sgvgrg strgss mosmbg difg, jgenusg M wns odt naadwgb td edfpanmo, td hgt nohry


9/261

dr td ery. M wns idregb td cggp fy gfdtmdos mosmbg difg, dt`grwmsg M wns jgmoh puoms`gb. Umoeg M wns tgo

ygnrs dab, M jghno iggamoh bgprgssgb. M bmbot wnot tdamvg noy fdrg. Naa t`ms eno jg rgantgb td t`g cmob diupjrmohmoh fy smohag fdt`gr trgntgb fg wmt`. Jgadw Mbgsermjg sdfg gxnfpags di t`g wny M wns rnmsgb.

Nhg < ygnrs dab. Irgqugotay dutjursts di nohgrirdf fy fdt`gr moeaubmoh vmdagoeg nob n adt di vgrjna

nhhrgssmdo. Fy fdt`gr ms advgagss nob vgry naddi, s`gbdgsot necodwagbhg fy sdrrdw. U`g ms edovmoegb t`ntfy iggamohs nrg purg odosgosg nob gvgo wdrsg, s`g snyst`nt t`gy nrg jumat do imhfgots di fy mfnhmontmdo. Mbdot igga snig. Mf edotmoudusay strnmogb. Umagoeg mo t`g`dusg fgnos n enaf jgidrg t`g stdrf. Mf edostnotay

do fy hunrb nhnmost `gr nhhrgssmdo , dutjursts di nohgr,janecfnma dr motmfmbntmdos. U`g edotmoudusay cggpstgaamoh fg t`nt Mf n jnb sdo nob t`nt M rumogb `gr amig.Mf iggamoh humaty naa t`g tmfg, Mf suiigrmoh irdf n adtdi noxmgtmgs, na adw sgai-edoimbgoeg nob sgai-gstggf.

Mf n smec e`mab. Mf irgqugotay jgmoh `dspmtnamzgb bugtd `gnrt-inmaurgs, `gpntmtms J, moiaugozn nob dt`gr cmobsdi moigetmdos. M suiigr irdf pnapmtntmdos, Mf p`ysmenaay

wgnc, M `nvg n vgry jnb `gnb do fy s`duabgrs nob Mfditgo tmrgb. Fy fdt`gr bdgsot naadw fg td jg tmrgb, nsn rgsuat di w`me` M `nvg td pgrsgvgrg. Zgna fgo ogvgredfpanmo, s`g snys. M ogvgr tncg n jrgnc w`gogvgr Mf

tmrgb, M hgt nerdss fy amfmts. Jgenusg di fy jnb `gnat`burmoh t`gsg ygnrs Mf gxgfptgb irdf t`g hyfonstmeagssdos nt se`dda. Fy enrbmdadhmst `ns strmetay drbgrgbfg td nvdmb noy idrf di strgss.


10/261

Nhg >< ygnrs dab.Xg fdvg. Fy jgadvgb hrnobfdt`grbmgs. Fy smtuntmdo `ns jgedfg wdrsg. Fy fdt`gr ms

odw turomoh snbmstme. Udfgt`moh mosmbg `gr amcgs td `urtfg (fgotnaay ns wgaa ns p`ysmenaay). Gvgry tmfg s`g `nsfnatrgntgb fg, M odtmeg n `nppy sntmsinetmdo do t`g addcdi `gr ineg. U`gs iggamoh edotgotgb. Ogmt`gr nt `dfg,odr dutsmbg, odr nt se`dda, M igga snig. Mf edostnotayjgmoh pgstgrgb jdt` nt se`dda nob mo t`g ogw

ogmh`jdur`ddb. Od irmgobs. Od infmay. R`grgs odjdbyagit idr fg noyfdrg. Mostgnb Mf mo t`g fmbbag di nogvgr gobmoh wnr. Mf bddfgb td survmvg mo n 59: tmaa >5 ygnrs dab. Fy fdt`gr ms eddcmoh do dur

vgrnobn. No nrhufgot jgtwggo us turos motd n iurmdusdutjurst di nohgr. Fy fdt`gr hrnjs n jmh cmte`go comignob t`rdws mt nt fg. R`g comig fmssgs fy jdby jy n igwegotmfgtrgs nob hgts stuec motd t`g hrduob. Enusgb jys`dec, Mf hgttmoh tdtnaay pgtrmimgb wmt` ogrvgs.Fdrgdvgr Mf tgrrmimgb nob pnrnayzgb wmt` ignr. Mfruoomoh nwny. Nitgr n igw `durs M rgturo `dfg,

gxpgetmoh fy fdt`grs nohgr wduab `nvg jggo eddagbbdwo. M nsc `gr qumgtay mi s`g rgnamzgs t`nt M eduab `nvgjggo bgnb odw. U`g addcs fg strnmh`t motd fy gygs nob


11/261

wmt` `gr ineg iuaa wmt` `ntrgb, s`g snys; M \WR ]DWDO R@MU XDZAB NOB M NF IWAA] GORMRAGB

RD IMOMU@ ]DW DII! U`g fgnos mt nob s`g nbbst`nt mt wns fy inuat w`nt `nppgogb. Mf s`decgb jy `grrgnetmdo nob M igga pdwgragss nob uosnig. M kust enotimhurg mt dut w`y s`g `ntgs fg t`nt fue`.

Nhg >0 ygnrs dab. No uogxpgetgb dutjurst di nohgrirdf fy fdt`gr. U`g subbgoay hrnjs n `nffgr, rnmsgs

mt njdvg fy `gnb nob s`g nttgfpts td `mt fy `gnb wmt`mt. M hrnj `gr `nobs njdvg fy `gnb nob M try td prdtgetfysgai. M tncg t`g `nffgr nwny irdf `gr. U`g rghnrbst`ms ns n pgrsdona nttnec nt `gr. @DX BNZG ]DW

RDWE@ ]DWZ FDR@GZ!, s`g ermgs dut. Nob `grnohgr nob nhhrgssmdo nrg moergnsmoh rnpmbay. Mf jgmoh

jgntgo nob Mf odt naadwgb td bgigob fysgai. M agtfysgai jgmoh jgntgo td nvdmb t`nt t`g smtuntmdo wmaa hgtgvgo wdrsg. @gr vgrjna nhhrgssmdo ms stmaa hdmoh do idr nedupag di bnys. M edostnotay gxpgrmgoeg n adt di strgssnob ignr, mo ensg s`g fmh`t uogxpgetgbay bd sdfgt`mohtd fg.

Nhg >= ygnrs dab. Fy fdt`gr nttgfpts td edffmtsumembg jy kufpmoh irdf n rnmawny jrmbhg uobgrognt` nrmbmoh trnmo. U`g snys Mf td janfg jgenusg M nf n jnbsdo. M nf mo n stntg di s`dec. M nf pnrnayzgb enusgb jy nogrvdus jrgncbdwo nob Mf tgrrmjay nirnmb t`nt s`g mshdmoh td `urt `grsgai sdfg wny dr nodt`gr. Mf

suiigrmoh irdf n adt di strgss nob noxmgtmgs.

Nhg :5 ygnrs dab. Enusgb jy t`g mffgosg strgssjgenusg di t`g smtuntmdo edoegromoh fy fdt`gr, Mf


12/261

hgttmoh n jurodut. M igga vgry smec, Mf edotmoudusayonusgntmoh, strnmogb nob tdtnaay gx`nustgb. M sgrmdusay

pnssgb fy amfmts. Mf hgttmoh no uaegr nob `gnrt inmaurgs.Dog bny M inmot. M edosuat fy infmay bdetdr, nitgr w`me`Mf jgmoh mffgbmntgay `dspmtnamzgb, w`me` ms hdmoh tdanst idr n fdot`. Nitgrwnrbs M wns edotmoudusayjdt`grgb jy tmrgbogss.

Nhg 5: ygnrs dab. Mf brmvmoh do t`g `mh`wny nt n

spggb di >:< cmadfgtrgs no `dur. Do t`g wny `dfg Msubbgoay jurst mffgosgay dut motd tgnrs wmt`dut noyrgnsdo nt naa. Mts amcg rnmo inaamoh bdwo mo anrhgqunotmtmgs. M bdot uobgrstnob w`nts `nppgomoh td fg.Idr ygnrs M `nvgot jggo erymoh nob odw M enot stdp. NsM enot sgg n t`moh mo irdot di fg jgenusg di t`g tgnrs, M

nafdst erns` motd t`g enr w`me` ms brmvmoh n`gnb di fg.M stdp t`g enr do t`g `nrb s`duabgr w`mag amh`tmoh t`gmobmentdrs nob M hrnot fysgai t`g dppdrtuomty td ery tdfy `gnrts edotgot. R`nt snfg bny M `nb idaadwgb nagssdo mo OgurdAmohumstme \rdhrnffmoh mo Jgahmuf,hmvgo jy t`g infdus Noog Amobgo, t`g imrst anby di

OA\. Burmoh t`g jrgnc M `nb n s`drt edovgrsntmdo wmt``gr njdut t`g advg idr fy hrnobfdt`gr, nitgr w`me` s`ghnvg fg n `uh. Maa nawnys rgfgfjgr Noog Amobgo ns n

wnrf nob advmoh `ufno jgmoh wmt` n jmh `gnrt.

M enot rgfgfjgr fdrg t`no t`ms goufgrntmdo di gvgots.Jut sdfgw`grg bggp mosmbg fg M codw t`nt t`ms ms kust n

pgnc di no megjgrh, w`me` rmsgs njdvg t`g surineg di t`gwntgr. M wdobgr `dw M wduab jg njag td hgt t`nt megjgrhdi irdzgo fgfdrmgs dut di t`g wntgr nob t`go td agt mt


13/261

fgat. X`grg `nvg M stdrgb fy fgfdrmgs4 R`nts w`ntMf hdmoh td gxnfmog!


14/261

Utdrnhg bgpdt di fgfdrmgs

N rgfgfjrnoeg ms no gvgot, no moembgot dut di ydur amig,stdrgb mo ydur fgfdry. Imrst t`g rgfgfjrnoeg wmaa jgstdrgb mo ydur s`drt tgrf fgfdry nob nitgrwnrbs mtshdmoh td rgadentg td ydur adoh tgrf fgfdry. ]du enoedfpnrg t`g adoh tgrf fgfdry wmt` t`g `nrb bmsc diydur edfputgr dr wmt` n amjrnry wmt` `uobrgbs dit`dusnobs di jddcs (fgfdrmgs). X`go ydurg hdmoht`rduh` no gxpgrmgoeg mo ydur amig, t`ms gxpgrmgoeg msjgmoh stdrgb mo t`g s`npg di no mfnhg, n sduob, n tdue`(dr n edfjmontmdo di t`gsg idrfs di gxprgssmdo)moeaubmoh t`g rgantgb gfdtmdona mfpnet. Mo fdst ensgsyduaa jg njag, sd td spgnc, td rgenaa n s`drt fdvmg (dr no

mfnhg) dut di ydur fgfdry, w`me` gvdcgs bmiigrgotgfdtmdos mo ydur moogr sgai. R`gsg gfdtmdos nrg pnrt dit`g gvgot. R`g s`drt fdvmg (dr no mfnhg) bdgsot nawnys`nvg td jg rgedvgrgb edosemdusay. Udfgtmfgs mts`nppgomoh spdotnogdusay,w`go ydurg edoirdotgb wmt`n egrtnmo mfnhg, n segot, n sduob (amcg fusme) dr wmt`

nodt`gr trmhhgr. Amcg idr mostnoeg n sdoh do t`g rnbmdeno tncg ydu jnec td t`g pnst gvdcmoh n pnrtmeuanrgfdtmdona gxpgrmgoeg. X`go t`ms gxpgrmgoeg jrmohsnadoh pagnsnot gfdtmdos, wg wduab amcg td gxpgrmgoegt`gf nhnmo nob nhnmo, ns n rgsuat di w`me` t`g sdoh msjgmoh panygb naa dvgr nhnmo. Mi no gxpgrmgoeg enusgsonsty (uopagnsnot) gfdtmdos, wg wnot td nvdmb t`g

rgpany di t`nt sdoh td prgvgot n rgamvmoh di duruopagnsnot iggamohs. Ud wg nrg bdmoh dur utfdst tdsupprgss dur uopagnsnot gfdtmdos. X`go edffdo


15/261

gxpgrmgoegs nrg rnpmbay bmsnppgnrmoh uobgrognt` t`gbust mo t`g amjrnry eupjdnrbs di t`g adoh tgrf fgfdry,

omeg nob onsty typgs burmoh n adoh pgrmdb nrg stmaa jgmohstdrgb do t`g juaagtmo jdnrb di ydur nwnrgogss, rmh`t moirdot di t`g gotrnoeg di ydur amjrnry. M t`moc t`ms hdt tdbd wmt` dur onturg. Gfdtmdo adnbgb fgfdrmgs nrg`nvmoh prmdrmty dvgr gfdtmdoagss fgfdrmgs, jgenusgpgr`nps wg `nvg td agnro sdfgt`moh dut di t`g imrst

fgotmdogb. Mfnhmog n smtuntmdo mo w`me` ydu nrg panegbmo no gyg-td-gyg edoirdotntmdo wmt` n tmhgr. ]du iggatgrrmimgb. Eno ydu sgg t`ms pmeturg mo irdot di ydu4 R`gignr edoogets t`g pmeturg wmt` ydur `nrbwnrg(`gnrtjgnt, tgosmdo nob pnrnaysms mo t`g fuseags,nbrgonamog nob dt`gr jdby iuoetmdos). Mo t`ms ensg ydurpmeturg stmaa `ns hdt nodt`gr iuoetmdo (tnsc). Ogxt td

mfnhg nob sduob, burmoh t`ms spgemime gxpgrmgoeg mt `nsnasd hdt n iuoetmdo (tnsc) di no dpgrntmoh systgf. R`msdpgrntmoh systgf ms stggrmoh ydur `nrbwnrg, w`me`nfdoh dt`gr t`mohs edosmsts di ydur `gnrtjgnt, ydurruo-nwny spggb, ydur agvga di nbrgonamog, ydur t`mocmohscmaas, ydur edoegotrntmdo, ydur gxtgot di swgntmoh,

gtegtgrn. X`go ydu `nvg fnonhgb td survmvg n smtuntmdoamcg t`ms, irdf odw do yduaa (uo)edosemdusay bdnoyt`moh td prgvgot n rgpgtmtmdo di w`nt `nppgogbjgidrg. Nob t`g dt`gr wny nrduob gxpgrmgoegs wmt`pagnsurnjag gfdtmdos nrg nutdfntmenaay (uo)edosemdusaystrmvgb idr. X`y4 Jgenusg onturg ms nwnrg di t`g inet

t`nt mts gspgemnaay snig idr ydu nob t`nt t`ms wny ydure`noegs td survmvg nrg dptmfna. Nodt`gr rgnsdo ms t`ntt`g iggamoh ms smfpay naa rmh`t! Ogxt td mfnhg nob sduob,omeg fgfdrmgs nasd hgt no dpgrntmoh systgf iuoetmdo.


16/261

Ns n fnttgr di inet t`gyrgnetunaay stggrmoh egrtnmo jdbyiuoetmdos. R`moc di gxemtgfgot, `gnrtjgnt, juttgriamgs mo

ydur stdfne` enusgb jy inaamoh mo advg, spggb nob bgpt`di ydur rgspmrntmdo gte.

Jdt` omeg gfdtmdos nob uopagnsnot gfdtmdos nrghgttmoh n sgpnrntg sgetmdo mo ydur amjrnry ns wgaa ns nentnadhug di t`gmr dwo. R`g sgetmdos nrg smtuntgb ognrt`g gotrnoeg di ydur edosemdusogss, ns n rgsuat di w`me`

yduaa jg njag td igte` jnec t`g rmh`t fgfdry vgry instnob giidrtagss. R`ms `nppgos w`go nscgb idr ns wgaa ns

w`go odt nscgb idr. R`g sgetmdo edotnmomoh uopagnsnotgfdtmdos ms strmohgotay hunrbgb jy ydursgai. Nitgr ns`drt tmfg nargnby ydurg jumabmoh n wnaa nrduob mtmoeaubmoh n sdamb t`mec snig bddr. Odt`moh ms naadwgb td

edfg dutsmbg nob ydu prgigr odt gotgrmoh t`ms sgetmdoydursgai gmt`gr. ]durg `mbmoh t`g cgy di t`g bddrsdfgw`grg mo t`g amjrnry nfdoh t`g dt`gr fgfdrmgs.

]durg bdmoh ydur utfdst td idrhgt t`g paneg mo w`me`ydu `mbgb t`g cgy. ]du bgimomtgay bdot wnot td jgrgfgfjgrgb di t`g gxmstgoeg di t`ms sgetmdo. R`nts w`y

ydurg jghmoomoh td nvdmb egrtnmo t`mohs, pgdpag nobgxpgrmgoegs mo ydur amig. Jgenusg t`gy fncg ydu iggavgry uognsy edoirdotmoh ydu wmt` fgfdrmgs irdf t`gonsty sgetmdo. Ns t`g nvdmbnoeg nttgfpts `nppgo td inmarghuanray, yduaa`nvg td cggp do moergnsmoh t`g sgeurmtydi t`g onsty sgetmdo. ]durg edostnotay mfprdvmoh ydurgxpgrtmsg edoegromoh wrnppmoh up nob sgeurmoh ydur

uopagnsnot fgfdrmgs. R`g wnaas nrg hgttmoh t`mecgr, t`gadecs nrg hgttmoh jmhhgr, t`g wnromoh systgf ms prdvmbgb

wmt` n fdrg edfpamentgb edbg. Fdst di t`g `gnvy


17/261

gfdtmdona fgfdrmgs nrg hgttmoh n snig bgpdsmt jdx. R`gsgetmdo ms fdrg nob fdrg hdmoh td addc amcg n `gnvmay

sgeurgb snig bgpdsmt rddf wmt` n adt di amttag snigs mo njnoc, di w`me` ydu nrg t`g sdag eamgot. ]du cggp naasnigs eadsgb. ]durg bdmoh ydur utfdst td `mbg, tdidrhgt nob td nvdmb t`g neegss edbgs di t`g snigs nobt`g entnadhug edotnmomoh ydur uopagnsnot fgfdrmgs.Ogvgrt`gagss nitgr sd fnoy ygnrs t`ms systgf cggps

inmamoh. Deensmdonaay t`g onsty gfdtmdos gsenpg irdfydur `gnvmay sgeurgb surrduobmoh nrgn nob pgogtrntgmotd ydur edosemdusogss. ]du bdot hmvg up. R`g snigsnrg adnbgb mo edotnmogrs, w`me` t`go nrg stdwgb mo t`g`dab di n anrhg edotnmogr s`mp. ]duaa sgob t`g s`mp tdsgn, ns inr nwny irdf ydur edosemgoeg ns pdssmjag. Antgrdo ydurg hdmoh td agt t`g s`mp smoc mo t`g bgpt` di t`g

degno di ydur sujedosemdusogss wmt`dut jgmoh odtmegb.Ud ydur entnadhug di onsty gfdtmdos nasd bmsnppgnrsmotd t`g bgpt`. Irdf t`nt fdfgot do yduaa `nrbay jgnjag td rgfgfjgr t`dsg onsty fgfdrmgs. Mt sggfs td

wdrc do ydur jg`nai, uotma ydurg hgttmoh nwnrg di t`ginet t`nt ydu suiigr n adt irdf onsty gfdtmdos, w`me`

ydu enoodt bmrgetay amoc td fgfdrmgs irdf t`g pnst.Uubbgoay t`g giiget `ns adst mts enusg. Ns adhme ms n snig

wny di dur t`mocmoh, dur jrnmo ms hdmoh td addc idr nogw enusg. Woidrtuontgay ditgo jgydob dursgavgs. Nsinr ns Mf edoegrogb, M odtmeg t`nt fy fmob msjghmoomoh td bgvgadp ogw t`duh`ts, amcg; Mts odt fy

inuat t`nt M rgnet t`nt gxnhhgrntgb! Mf odt t`g dog tdjanfg. Mts dt`gr pgdpag t`nt fncg fg igga t`nt wny!


18/261

Ns tmfg hdgs jy ydur edotnmogr s`mp ms jgedfmoh nh`dst s`mp, w`me` ms aymoh do t`g jdttdf di t`g sgn di

t`g sujedosemdus. R`g Iaymoh Bute`fno ms stnrtmoh tdrdt. R`g edotgot di t`g snigs wnots td hd dutsmbg. R`gprgssurg ms hgttmoh strdohgr nob strdohgr. Mt tncgs fdrgnob fdrg di ydur gogrhy td cggp t`g bddrs di t`g snigseadsgb. ]dur gogrhy edosufptmdo ms moergnsmoh gvgryygnr. ]dur Iaymoh Bute`fno cggps snmamoh nrduob

wmt`dut jgmoh odtmegb mo t`g sgn di ydursujedosemdusogss.


19/261

Onsty fgfdrmgs nrg addcmoh idr nwny

dut

Dur bnmay nwnrgogss stmaa `ns nodt`gr agvga diedosemdusogss, w`me`, wmt`dut jgmoh odtmegb, niigetsdur jg`nvmdur.

]dur onsty fgfdrmgs bdot gxmst noyfdrg mo yduredosemdusogss. ]gt rghuanray mogxpamenjag t`mohs `nppgo

w`me` jdt`gr ydu. ]du rgnet mo no gxnhhgrntgbgfdtmdona wny burmoh ydur wdrc. R`ms bmsturjs ydurjusmogssamcg edffuomentmdo nob edffgremna rgantmdos.

]durg enrrymoh dut ydur tnscs wmt` n twd `uobrgbpgregot giidrt, jgenusg ydurg nirnmb jgmoh tnacgb tdnjdut ydur iuoetmdomoh. ]du nvdmb edoiamets. ]duvg hdtno mogxpamenjag (uo)edosemdus ignr di inmaurg, w`me`enusgs ydu n adt di strgss. Naa di n subbgo ydurg hgttmohgxnhhgrntgbay nohry. ]du jurst motd nohgr.]durg nirnmbtd spgnc mo irdot di n hrdup di pgdpag. ]durg noxmdustd fncg fmstncgs. ]du igga uoegrtnmo mo pnrtmeuanr

smtuntmdos. ]durg nirnmb td jmob ydursgai ns n rgsuat diw`me` ydur rgantmdos nrg inaamoh npnrt. ]du nrg n strgsse`mecgo. ]du cggp ydur iggamohs bggpay `mbbgo nob yduhd do netmoh e`ggriuaay. ]durg hdmoh s`dppmoh nhnmojgenusg mt hmvgs ydu n hddb iggamoh. ]durg addcmoh idrbmstrnetmdo jy fgnos di ogw gxpgrmgoegs, edosufmoh

nob ydur enrggr. ]du adoh idr rgedhomtmdo. ]du wnot tdne`mgvg t`ms jy fgnos di ydur wdrc. Addcmoh hddb msgquna td iggamoh hddb. ]du spgob n adt di fdogy moinvdr di ydur nppgnrnoeg (eadt`gs, pgrsdona enrg, ydur


20/261

mfnhg gt egtgrn). ]dur tgagvmsmdo, rnbmd dr nodt`grsdureg di moidrfntmdo ms nawnys swmte`gb do. ]durg

edostnotay addcmoh idr bmstrnetmdo jgydob ydursgai,jgenusg w`go smagoeg inaas do ydu ydu'rg jghmoomoh tdigga t`mohs. ]dur onsty gfdtmdos nrg sggcmoh td hgt motdue` wmt` ydu. R`gy wnot ydur nttgotmdo!

]du edotmoudusay bgtgrfmog ogw tnrhgts burmoh ydursgnre` idr iggamoh hddb.]du `nvg n brgnf, no mfnhg

mo w`me` ydurg iggamoh ydursgai t`g `nppy fno yduwnot td jg mo rgna amig. R`ms ms gxnetay `dw ydur amigs`duab addc idr ydu td jg njag td igga rgnaay `nppy. ]dujgamgvg mo rgne`moh t`ms hdna. R`g rgnamzntmdo di ydurbrgnf eno jg iuaay edfpagtgb, ns sddo ns ydu `nvgdjtnmogb n igw fntgrmna t`mohs amcg n `dusg di ydur dwo,

n hddb moedfg nob fnyjg n stntmdo enr. Npnrt irdf t`msydu nasd oggb n pnrtogr, n anrhg cmte`go, n bdh, pgr`npsn e`mab nob surgay n fdbgst hnrbgo w`grg ydu eno amgbdwo mo t`g suo gokdymoh n omeg brmoc. Nitgr `nvmohjggo padbbmoh nadoh, pus`moh nob wdrcmoh ydur hutsdut idr ygnrs, ydurg imonaay hdmoh td rgne` t`nt hdna. Mt

prgemsgay fnte`gs t`g pmeturg w`me` ydu `nb mo fmob.Gvgryt`moh sggfs naa rmh`t. @dwgvgr t`grgs dog fmodrgxegptmdo. Mt sd `nppgos t`nt ydurg odt iggamoh `nppynt naa. ]du wdobgr w`nt eduab jg t`g rgnsdo di t`ms nob

w`y (nob gspgemnaay w`go) t`mohs wgot wrdoh! Mo ydurfmob ydurg hdmoh jnec td t`g pnst td sgnre` idr gvgotsnob emreufstnoegs, w`me` hnvg ydu n hddb iggamoh nt

t`nt tmfg. ]durg hdmoh td `mt t`g tdwo, td trnvga, tdcmss, td hd fdtdr eyeamoh nob td amvg n enrgirgg amig. ]duodw stnrt td rgnamzg t`nt sdfg t`mohs bmsnppgnrgb irdf


21/261

ydur amig doeg nob idr naa, wmt`dut ydu `nvmoh jggo njagtd sny inrgwgaa td t`gf mo n bgegot wny. R`gyrg ogvgr

edfmoh jnec! ]du igga ydursgai smttmoh jg`mob t`g jnrsdi ydur rgspdosmjmamtmgs. Amig ms fdrg nob fdrgjghmoomoh td addc amcg n fgrry-hd-rduob. ]durg mo t`gfmbbag di mt. Fdobny fdromoh; t`g juzzmoh di ydurnanrf eadec, t`g s`dwgr, trniime amh`ts, trniime knf,

wdrcmoh, trniime knf, trniime amh`ts, `nvmoh bmoogr,

wnte`moh tgagvmsmdo, hdmoh td jgb. Nodt`gr idur bnys tdhd. Nt anst! Mts wggcgob! Bmb mt rgnaay hd jy sd inst4Nodt`gr Fdobny fdromoh4 ]gnr nitgr ygnr. Ue`dda, imrstkdj, imrst enr, imrst `dusg, amvmoh tdhgt`gr, sgpnrntmoh,fdvmoh, amvmoh tdhgt`gr nhnmo, trniime knfs, trniime amh`ts,`dambnys, e`mabrgo agnvmoh `dfg, naa di n subbgo ydurgpnssmoh t`g fgfdrnjag nhg di imity (w`d eduab gvgr `nb

mfnhmogb t`nt mt wduab hd jy t`nt inst!), t`go t`geduotbdwo tmaa yduaahgt rgtmrgb jghmos. Nt anst, t`g tmfg`ns edfg! Mf rgtmrgb! ODX Mf hdmoh td gokdy fysgai!

Nt agnst, t`nts w`nt ydu'rg t`mocmoh. R`g nanrf eadec msrgfdvgb, Fdobny fdromoh bdgsot gxmst noyfdrg,irggbdf nt anst! ]du enaa ydursgai auecy jgenusg ydu

bdot `nvg enoegr nob ydu gnrogb n hddb pgosmdo. Jutms t`nt trug4 Bd ydu rgnaay igga `nppy4


22/261

Moiaugoeg di upjrmohmoh nob

ogmh`jdur`ddb do `nobamoh gfdtmdos

Jdt` hddb nob jnb gfdtmdos hgt n spgemna paneg mo durupjrmohmoh nob gbuentmdo. Mo hgogrna jdys nrg tdab odttd edfpanmo (moeaubmoh `dabmoh jnec oghntmvggfdtmdos), w`mag hmras nrg tgne`gb td tgaa gvgryt`moh

(moeaubmoh s`nrmoh gfdtmdos). Bgpgobmoh do ydur ontmvgeduotry, ydurg tgne`gb td `nobag hddb nob jnbgfdtmdos mo bmiigrgot wnys. Mo t`g Udvmgt Womdo nonvgrnhg jdy wns jgmoh rnmsgb ns n sdabmgr, w`d bdgsotedfpanmo, `mbgs `ms pnmo nob gfdtmdos nob w`d ms

wmaamoh td snermimeg `ms amig idr `ms ontmvg eduotry nt naa

tmfgs.R`nts t`g wny M wns jrduh`t up; swnaadwmoh up,mfprmotmoh nob gspgemnaay `mbmoh naa oghntmvmty nob jnbgfdtmdos.N rgna fno bdgsot edfpanmo, bdgsot ery nobbdgsot onh. Ogmh`jdur`ddb nob euaturg nasd pany nomfpdrtnot rdag mo t`g wny wg `nobag gfdtmdos. X`grg n

Rmjgtno fno ermgs wmt` sdrrdw (dr hrmgi), n Zussmno fnoms brdwomoh `ms sdrrdw mo n jdttag di vdbcn. Zussmnofgo enoodt tnac njdut t`gmr iggamohs uotma t`gy nrg bgnbbruoc. R`ms ms t`g sgergt njdut t`g naed`da njusg diZussmno fgo. Woidrtuontgay Mf dog di t`g igwZussmnos w`d msot n `gnvy jddzgr, w`me` ms edosmbgrgbnjodrfna mo t`g typmena euaturg di Zussmno fgo. Fdrgt`no ditgo pgdpag nscgb fg Nrg ydu vgry maa dr

sdfgt`moh amcg mt4. X`go, jgmoh n fno mo Zussmn, ydubdot brmoc vdbcn, yduaa odt jg njag td s`nrg yduriggamohs wmt` nodt`gr pgrsdo.


23/261

Idr t`g jgogimt di t`g fgo mo Zussmn t`grg nrg twd dt`grgiigetmvg wnys td gxprgss `gnvy gfdtmdos. Onfgay

swgnrmoh nob imh`tmoh. Jdt` wnys bdot imt fg. Ud Mogvgr `nb no dutagt td gxprgss fy gfdtmdos. Jgenusg

wdfgo mo Zussmn eno s`nrg t`gmr gfdtmdos irggay wmt`gne` dt`gr, t`gy edosgqugotay amvg adohgr. R`g nvgrnhgamig gxpgetnoeg mo Zussmn ms 97 ygnrs. Ns idr wdfgo t`msgxpgetnoeg ms 8> ygnrs w`mag idr fgo mts doay 70 ygnrs.

Fnoy fgo bdot gvgo rgne` t`gmr rgtmrgfgot nhg. Fyint`gr, w`df M ogvgr `nb n e`noeg td hgt td codw, wns78 ygnrs dab w`go `g bmgb di n `gnrt nttnec. @gnrtprdjagfs mo Zussmn nrg ns edffdo ns vdbcn.

R`g Zussmno idac psye`dadhy codws twd stntgs diedosemdusogss, jgmoh bruoc nob jgmoh sdjgr. Jgtwggo

t`gsg twd stntgs di fmob t`grg stmaa ms nodt`gr stntg,w`me` ms enaagb `nohdvgr. Burmoh t`g `nohdvgr stntggspgemnaay fnoy swggt-nob-sdur h`grcmos nrg edosufgb.

R`ms swggt-nob-sdur giiget qumecgos t`g rgturo td t`gsdjgr stntg di edosemdusogss.

X`go ns n Zussmno fno ydu gxpgrmgoegb trnufntmegvgots mo ydur amig nob ydu bdot brmoc vdbcn, ydu'aaogvgr jg njag td gxprgss ydur jnb fgfdrmgs.


24/261

Fy bgimomtmdo di trnufn

N trnufn ms no gvgot mo ydur amig, w`me` `ns jggo stdrgbmo ydur fgfdry mo t`g s`npg di no mfnhg dr n s`drtfdvmg nob w`me` gvdcgs jnb gfdtmdos, t`duh`ts nobp`ysmdadhmena rgnetmdos. Maa hmvg ydu no gxnfpag; ntse`dda M `nvg jggo pgstgrgb jy n hrdup di yduohstgrs. Msgg no mfnhg mo w`me` Mf jgmoh pgstgrgb. R`ms nrdusgsonsty gfdtmdos mosmbg fg. Mf iggamoh nohgr nob snbogsshrdwmoh mo fy fmob. M hgt t`duh`ts njdut stnobmoh naanadog inemoh t`g hrdup. R`ms ms odt inmr! R`g mfnhg msodw stggrmoh sdfg p`ysmena iuoetmdos mosmbg fy jdby.

Ns M enaa mt, t`g mfnhg odw `ns no dpgrntmoh systgfiuoetmdo di fy jdby. Fy `gnrtjgnt ms rmsmoh, Mf iggamoh

t`g tgosmdo mo fy fuseags, fy jrgnt`moh ms hgttmohinstgr, Mf sgosmoh t`g nbrgonamog iadwmoh t`rduh` fy

vgmos gte. Mo psye`dadhy fy rgnetmdos td t`ms gvgot mofy amig nrg enaagb p`ysmdadhmena rgnetmdos.

Ud mts odt doay njdut nohgr nob snbogss, jut nasd njduttmrgbogss, pnrnaysms, `gnrtjgnt, saggpmoh prdjagfs, anecdi gogrhy nob dt`gr p`ysmena iuoetmdos.

X`nt ms n edffdopaneg gvgot idr no nbuat, eduab jgtrnufntme idr n e`mab. Mfnhmog n e`mab w`d msot iggamohsnig nob msot prdtgetgb jy `ms/`gr fdt`gr. Dr n e`mab

w`d ms jgmoh rgkgetgb nt t`g vgry fdfgot `g/s`g ms

addcmoh idr edosdantmdo nob snigty wmt` `ms/`gr pnrgots.N fmodr uomfpdrtnot gvgot mo t`g gygs di no nbuat,eduab jg trnufntme idr n e`mab.


25/261

N wdrb snmb mo n egrtnmo edotgxt, eduab nasd jg (dr agnbtd) n trnufn. Rry td fgfdrmzg no nrhufgot burmoh

w`me` n egrtnmo wdrb niigetgb ydu sd motgosgay, t`nt mtfnbg ydu nohry nob moergnsgb ydur `gnrtjgnt.

Mo t`ms jddc M rgstrmet t`g fgnomoh di t`g wdrbtrnufn td gvgots w`me` jrmoh nadoh onsty gfdtmdosnob w`me` fdst pgdpag fggt do t`gmr amig pnt`. Mo t`msirnfgwdrc nafdst gvgryjdby `ns n trnufn.

X`go ydu ruo motd n egrtnmo smtuntmdo, ydursujedosemdus fmob (ydur suoc Iaymoh Bute`fno) msaddcmoh idr n trnufn, w`me` eno jg edoogetgb(nssdemntgb) wmt` t`ms spgemime smtuntmdo. Mo t`nt ensg t`geurrgot smtuntmdo nob t`g trnufn irdf t`g pnst `nvg n

edffdo bgodfmontdr, dr n rddt dr n amog w`me`edooget jdt` wmt` gne` dt`gr. R`g trnufn rnpmbaynssdemntgs mtsgai wmt` t`g smtuntmdo nob hdgs motd netmdomo t`g idrf di onsty gfdtmdos.

No gxnfpag

M hgt nohry nob M hd do t`g bgigosmvg w`go Mf jgmohermtmemzgb. Jgenusg di fy nohgr M enot `nobag ermtmemsf

t`nt wgaa. R`g sdureg di fy nohgr hdgs jnec td no

moembgot wmt` fy fdt`gr burmoh fy e`mab`ddb. M wns

tgo ygnrs dab. Fy fdt`gr sgot fg td t`g hrggohrdegr. M

`nb td juy n cmad di amttag rgb jggts. R`g hrggohrdegr

`dwgvgr hnvg fg dog jmh rgb jggt wgmh`moh dog cmad.X`go M enfg `dfg, fy fdt`gr hdt vgry nohry jgenusg

s`g wnotgb amttag jggts. Imrst s`g jghno td sedab fg


26/261

(ermtmemsf). R`go s`g hrnjjgb t`g ogt wmt` t`g jmh jggt

mo `gr `nob mt nob s`g wgot td `mt fg imgregay wmt` mt.

Dog jnoh `mt fg mo fy sdanr pagxus (n paneg w`me` msadentgb n igw egotmfgtgrs njdvg t`g onvga). M anmb do t`g

hrduob, jgobgb bdujag enusgb jy t`g tgrrmjag pnmo nob

M nafdst e`dcgb. M igat uoinmrogss, pdwgragssogss,

snbogss nob nohgr. Mo fy ensg ermtmemsf nob nohgr nrg

bggpay edoogetgb wmt` gne` dt`gr enusgb jy t`ms

moembgot. X`go Mf jgmoh ermtmemzgb odwnbnys, M

mffgbmntgay igga nohgr rmsmoh mosmbg fg. R`g nohgr ms t`g

mostmoetmvg rgnetmdo di \`mamppg.


27/261

\`mamppg-rgnetmdo

R`g Zussmno p`ysmdadhmst nob wmoogr di t`g Odjga

prmzg \nvadv (>02=->=59) `ns jgedfg wdrab-infdus

wmt` `ms gxpgrmfgots (\nvadv-rgnetmdo). @g

gxpgrmfgotgb wmt` t`g rgnetmdos di n bdh do iddb.

U`drtay jgidrg hmvmoh iddb td t`g bdh, `g agt n jgaa rmoh.

Nitgr `nvmoh rgpgntgb t`ms rdutmog idr n igw tmfgs, t`gbdh jghno td prdbueg snamvn ns sddo ns `g `gnrb t`g jgaa

rmohmoh. Antgr do, w`go t`g bdh `gnrb t`g jgaa jut

bmbot hgt iddb, `g stmaa prdbuegb snamvn. R`ms ms enusgb

jy t`g inet t`nt t`g jrnmos di t`g bdh jghno td nssdemntg

t`g sduob di t`g jgaa wmt` hgttmoh iddb. Mo t`nt wny n

rgnetmdo di t`g jdby (prdbuetmdo di snamvn) td n stmfuaus(t`g jgaa) enfg motd jgmoh. R`ms p`godfgon ms enaagb n

rgiagx. Gvgry gvgomoh M turo dii fy edfputgr nob M hd

dutsmbg strnmh`tnwny td tncg fy twd bne`s`uobs dut idr

n wnac. R`gy `gnr t`g eadsmoh tuog di Xmobdws nob t`gy

`urry tdwnrbs t`g irdot bddr, jgenusg t`gy codw t`gy

nrg hdmoh td jg tncgo dut. Gvgry tmfg t`gy `gnr t`geadsmoh tuog t`gyrg bdmoh t`g snfg t`moh, gvgo mi M `nvg

odt ygt t`g motgotmdo td tncg t`gf dut. Mo dt`gr wdrbs;

t`gy nssdemntg t`g Xmobdws eadsmoh tuog wmt` t`g tmfg

t`gy nrg hdmoh td jg tncgo dut. R`ms ms n rgiagx. N rgiagx

ms n idrf di nutdfntme rgspdosg di t`g jdby td n

stmfuaus. R`moc njdut t`g trniime amh`ts. X`go ydu sgg

t`g rgb trniime amh`t (stmfuaus) w`mag ydu nrg brmvmoh,


28/261

ydur rmh`t iddt wmaa nutdfntmenaay stgp do t`g jrncgs

(rgnetmdo).

Nodt`gr smfmanr gxpgrmfgot `ns jggo pgridrfgb do ne`mab jy no Nfgrmeno psye`dadhmst enaagb Xntsdo(>080->=70). R`g gxpgrmfgot ms codwo ns Amttag

Najgrt. R`g e`mab, enaagb Najgrt, wns doay omog fdot`sdab. Xntsdo s`dwgb n w`mtg rnt td amttag Najgrt. Nt imrst`g rgnetgb uoedoegrogb nob `g wnsot nirnmb di t`g rnt.

R`g gxpgrmfgot wgot do. Gne` tmfg Najgrt snw t`gw`mtg rnt, Xntsdo fnbg no uogxpgetgb adub sduobjg`mob t`g jnec di t`g e`mab jy strmcmoh n fgtnaame pmpg

wmt` n `nffgr. Najgrt wns irmh`tgogb jy t`g adubsduob nob `g stnrtgb td ery. R`ms wny Amttag Najgrtjghno nssdemntmoh `ms ignr di t`g adub sduob wmt` t`g

smh`t di n w`mtg rnt. R`ms nssdemntmdo enusgb t`nt antgr do`g hdt irmh`tgogb di n w`mtg rnt gvgo w`go t`g adubsduob wnsot t`grg td jg `gnrb. Mo Ogurd-Amohumstme\rdhrnffmoh (OA\) t`ms prdegss ms codwo nsnoe`drmoh.

R`ms vgry snfg fge`nomsf ms `mbbgo jg`mob durtrnufns. N trnufntme gvgot bdgsot oggb td jg rgpgntgbtd jg njag td hgt stdrgb mo dur jrnmos ns n rgiagx. R`grgnsdo ms t`nt n trnufntme gvgot gvdcgs sue` n strdohgfdtmdona (nob ditgo p`ysmena) rgnetmdo, t`nt dur jrnmosnutdfntmenaay rghmstgr t`ms gvgot ns n rgiagx.

X`go sdfgdog snys dr bdgs sdfgt`moh w`me` mo durjrnmos gvdcgs no nssdemntmdo wmt` dur trnufns, durfmob ms hdmoh td rgnet wmt` gfdtmdos dr iggamohs. Nogxnfpag; Burmoh fy e`mab`ddb M wns ditgo puoms`gb jy


29/261


30/261

Fmobiuaogss jnsgb trnufn trgntfgot

R`g qugstmdo ms; X`nt nrg t`dsg jnb fgfdrmgs, t`nt nrgaymoh adecgb up mo t`g snig-bgpdsmt jdxgs di t`gedotnmogr s`mp4 X`nt ms stdrgb mo jdx N4 X`nt ms stdrgbmo jdx J4 Mo w`me` edotnmogr eduab t`gy jg iduob4 ]du`nvgot hdt n entnadhug noyfdrg. @dw eno ydu hgt t`gtrnufns edfmoh td t`g surineg4 Needrbmoh td t`giduobgr di t`g psye`d nonaysms, t`g Ymgoogsg p`ysmemnonob psye`mntrmst Umhfuob Irgub (>079->=5=) dursupprgssgb gfdtmdos nfdoh dt`gr t`mohs rgvgna mtsgai modur brgnfs. Mo ydur brgnf-saggp ydur suocgo IaymohBute`fno ms edfmoh td t`g surineg, t`g pmrntgs nrgdpgomoh t`g bgpdsmt jdxgs nob t`g jnb fgfdrmgs nrg

rghnmomoh t`gmr irggbdf. R`g fgfdrmgs e`nohg eadt`gs,pgridrf panys, s`ddt fdvmgs nob `nvg n pmrntg pnrty.

R`gy nrg odw nt t`g snfg tmfg t`g fnonhgrs, t`gbmrgetdrs nob t`g netdrs di ydur sujedosemdusogss. R`gogxt fdromoh w`go ydu nwncg, ydurg `nrbay edosemdusdi ydur brgnf nob ydu hd do wmt` ydur amig.

Hrgnt! Jut `dw eduab ydu hgt neegss td yduridrhdttgo edotnmogr s`mp, w`go ydu nrg mo n stntg diedosemdusogss4 X`mag wg nrg saggpmoh, dur jrnmownvgsnrg fdvmoh td t`g dt`gr irgqugoey, t`g hntg td ydur suj-edosemdusogss dpgos nob t`g pmrntgs nrg rgagnsmoh yduronsty fgfdrmgs. @dw bd ydu rgne` t`nt dt`gr

irgqugoey w`mag ydurg nwncg4 @dw bd ydu fnonhg tdgotgr ydur sujedosemdusogss4 Mospmrgb jy t`g Irgoe`ogurdadhmst E`nredt (>0:7->0=5), Irgub nppamgb`ypodsms. M usg n fgt`db bgvgadpgb jy fysgai, w`me` M


31/261

enaa Fmobiuaogss Jnsgb Rrnufn Rrgntfgot (FJRR).FJRR ms jnsgb do n fgbmtntmdo w`me` moeaubgs

gagfgots irdf fmobiuaogss, Ogurd-Amohumstmeprdhrnffmoh (OA\), Jubb`msf nob psye`dadhy. M hnvgt`ms fgbmtntmdo t`g onfg Rrnufn-fgbmtntmdo. Jdt``ypodsms nob fgbmtntmdo eno jrmoh ydu mo t`g stntg difmob, w`me` wmaa hmvg ydu neegss td ydursujedosemdusogss. Mo ensg di `ypodsms t`g

`ypodt`grnpmst ms ruoomoh t`g s`dw, w`mag mo ensg ditrnufn-fgbmtntmdo ydu nrg jg`mob t`g w`gga ydursgai.@ypodsms iuoetmdos gxegaagotay, prdvmbgb t`nt ydu `nvgn hddb `ypodt`grnpmst. Nob t`nts hdmoh td edst yduqumtg n adt di fdogy. Gspgemnaay mo fy ensg jgenusg dify oufgrdus ydut` trnufns. R`nt wns rgnsdo goduh`idr fg td bgvgadp n wny di sgai-`gap tge`omqug, w`me` M

enaa trnufn-fgbmtntmdo.

Gvgrydog `ns `ms/`gr dwo mfprgssmdo di n fgbmtntmdo. Mts vgrymfpdrtnot t`nt ydu put nsmbg ydur mfprgssmdo idr n w`mag jgidrg

ydurghdmoh td stnrt rgnbmoh t`g ogxt e`nptgr.


32/261

X`nt ms trnufn-fgbmtntmdo4

Rrnufn-fgbmtntmdo ms n idrf di fgbmtntmdo w`me`edosmsts di idur stgps;

Utgp >. Rncg-dii

Utgp :. Rrnufn-`uotmoh

Utgp 5. Rrnufn-prdhrnffmoh

Utgp 2. Rrnufn-pnrnbmsg

Jgidrg Mf hdmoh td gxpanmo t`g njdvg fgotmdogb stgps,M wduab hanbay amcg td pny nttgotmdo td t`g prgpnrntmdoidr trnufn-fgbmtntmdo.

\rgpnrntmdo idr trnufn-fgbmtntmdo

\aneg di fgbmtntmdo

Rd stnrt wmt`, yduaa `nvg td imob n paneg mo ydur `dusgtd jg njag td prnetmeg fgbmtntmdo. Mts vgry mfpdrtnot td

e`ddsg n prdpgr paneg. X`mag bdmoh sd, idaadw yduriggamohs mostgnb di ydur edffdo sgosg. Xnobgrt`rduh` ydur `dusg nob agt ydur iggamohs fncg n e`dmeg!

Nawnys e`ddsg jnsgb do ydur iggamohs, gvgo mi yduredffdo sgosg tgaas ydu t`nt t`g e`dsgo paneg bdgso'tfnte` t`g bgedr di t`g rddf. R`g paneg `ns td igga

hddb nob td `gap ydu td sgt ydur fmob nt rgst nob tdjrmoh ydu moogr enafogss. M nbvmsg ydu td usg t`ms panegdoay idr t`g fgbmtntmdos. Nitgrwnrbs yduaa uobgrstnob

w`y t`nts mfpdrtnot. M `nvg naadwgb fy iggamohs td


33/261

e`ddsg t`g rmh`t fgbmtntmdo paneg idr fg. Fy edffdosgosg tdab fg t`g e`dsgo paneg sggfgb td jg n jmt wgmrb

idr t`g purpdsg, jut fy iggamohs mobmentgb t`nt t`ms wnst`g mbgna paneg td fgbmtntg. Fy fgbmtntmdo paneg ms dot`g agit smbg di t`g tgagvmsmdo eupjdnrb mo fy amvmohrddf. X`go Mf fgbmtntmoh fy ineg ms nawnys bmrgetgbnt t`g wmobdw, w`me` fgnos td t`g dutsmbg, td t`g amh`t.

Ugnt

Nitgr ydu `nvg e`dsgo t`g paneg, yduaa `nvg td bgembgw`gt`gr ydurg hdmoh td smt do n ruhdr mo no gnsy e`nmr.Jgenusg Mvg hdt jnecne`g, M smt mo t`g tnmadr nttmtubg mo n

w`mtg gnsy e`nmr Gctdrp irdf Mcgn. Mts n jmh sdite`nmr, w`me` diigrs fg suppdrt idr fy jnec. Fy

pdsmtmdo msot pgriget, jut Mf odt gmh`tggo noyfdrg. Menot erdss fy aghs noyfdrg nob fy spmog ms jgmohsuppdrtgb jy t`g jnec di t`g e`nmr. Mt bdgsot fnttgr, mtmsot mfpdrtnot! Odjdby ms naadwgb td smt do fyfgbmtntmdo e`nmr. Gxegpt M fysgai nob doay burmoh fyfgbmtntmdos.

Nawnys-rgnby-td-hgt-mo

R`g fgbmtntmdo paneg `ns td jg gnsy neegssmjag nob nonawnys-rgnby-td-hgt-mo paneg, amcg n tnxm w`me` msnawnys wnmtmoh idr ydu dutsmbg, wmt` n ruoomoh gohmognob no dpgo bddr. X`go ydu oggb td fncg giidrt td sgtup ydur fgbmtntmdo paneg gne` tmfg, mt eduab enusg n`uhg gfdtmdona t`rgs`dab w`go ydu rgnaay oggb td hdtrnufn-fgbmtntmoh.


34/261

Odw ydu `nvg ydur dwo paneg di bgpnrturg. Irdf t`mspaneg ydurg hdmoh td trnvga td ydur sujedosemdusogss.

Kust amcg Nfstgrbnf Ue`mp`da nmrpdrt, ydur paneg dibgpnrturg s`duab nawnys jg n rgnby-tdhd paneg.


35/261

Utgp >. Rncg-dii

@nvg ydu gvgr trnvgagb jy nmrpanog4 R`g tncg-dii ms t`gfdfgot w`go no nmrpanog ms agnvmoh t`g hrduob nobgotgrs t`g scy. R`ms s`duab jg t`g imrst p`nsg di ydurtrnufn fgbmtntmdo.

\urpdsg di t`g tncg-dii

R`g purpdsg di n tncg-dii ms jrmohmoh ydursgai mo nstntg di fmob jy w`me` ydu eno hgt neegss td ydursujedosemdusogss. R`ms stntg di fmob ms odt`moh gasg jutn amh`t saggp mo n stntg di stmaa jgmoh edosemdus.

Dur saggp `ns idur p`nsgs. Mo t`g imrst p`nsg wg nrg

inaamoh amh`tay nsaggp (saufjgrmoh, brdwsmoh). Duredosemdusogss ms bgergnsmoh. Dur jrnmo wnvgs nrgfdvmoh irdf t`g nwncg edobmtmdo (0->:@z) td t`g amh`tsaggp edobmtmdo (2-8@z). Mo t`g sgedob p`nsg ydurgedfpagtgay adsmoh ydur edosemdusogss (>:->9@z). Mo t`gt`mrb p`nsg ydurg inaamoh motd n bggp saggp (>-5@z). Mo

t`g idurt` p`nsg, w`me` ms enaagb t`g ZGF saggp, ydurgstnrtmoh td brgnf (2->:@z). R`ms ms t`g p`nsg w`go durIaymoh Bute`fno (moeaubmoh `ms jnb fgfdrmgs) edfgstd t`g surineg. R`g jrnmo wnvgs mo t`ms p`nsg (2->:@z)`nvg n jmh dvgranp wmt` t`g amh`t saggp (2-8@z). Irdffy dwo gxpgrmgoeg M eno sny t`nt mo jdt` saggpmohp`nsgs dur supprgssgb fgfdrmgs nrg amnjag td edfg tdt`g surineg.

Ud t`g purpdsg di t`g tncg-dii ms odt`moh gasg t`no`nvmoh ydur jrnmo wnvgs adwgrgb mo drbgr td hgt neegss


36/261

td ydur Iaymoh Bute`fno. Dr smfpay snmb, yduaa `nvgtd naadw ydursgai td bdzg nwny jut nt t`g snfg tmfg

yduaa `nvg td stny edosemdus. ]du bd t`ms gvgry bnyw`go ydurg inaamoh nsaggp. Ud mts n qugstmdo diprnetmemoh n amttag jmt.

Mo ensg di fnoy pgdpag t`g imrst saggpmoh p`nsg doayansts n igw fmoutgs. Ogxt ydurg hdmoh motd t`g sgedobsaggpmoh p`nsg nob ydu adsg ydur edosemdusogss. R`g

e`naagohg ms td prgvgot ydursgai irdf hdmoh motdsaggpmoh p`nsg twd nob td stny edosemdus. R`ms msogegssnry jgenusg yduaa oggb ydur edosemdusogss td jgnjag td pgridrf t`g trnufn fgbmtntmdo. @dw bd ydustnrt ydur tncg-dii4 Idaadw t`g tncg-dii prdegburg.

Rncg-dii prdegburg

Kust amcg n pmadt w`d ms hdmoh t`rduh` n oufjgr diprgsermjgb stgps jgidrg hgttmoh nmrjdrog, wg nrg nasdhdmoh td pnss t`rduh` sdfg stgps

Utnp >. @nvg n edfidrtnjag sgnt

]dur pdsmtmdo burmoh t`g trnufn fgbmtntmdo s`duab jgedosmstgot wmt` n imxgb ruag. Imob n pdsmtmdo mo w`me`ydu igga ydursgai p`ysmenaay wgaa nob gspgemnaay rganxgb.Mt bdgsot fnttgr w`me` pdsmtmdo ydurg gxnetay hdmoh tdtncg, ns adoh ns mt bdgs odt `mobgr ydu burmoh t`gfgbmtntmdo. ]dur pdsmtmdo s`duab odt bmstrnet ydu nob

egrtnmoay fust odt bmsturj ydu! X`go M motgob td smtbdwo wmt` n >


37/261

strnmh`t mostgnb di jgmoh ideusgb do t`g fgbmtntmdo.\agnsg smt bdwo edfidrtnjay nob eadsg ydur gygs.

Utgp :. Edoegotrntg ydursgai do ydur jrgnt`moh

R`g ogxt stgp mo dur tncg-dii prdegburg ms ydurjrgnt`moh. Edoegotrntg ydursgai do ydur jrgnt`moh. R`gedoegotrntmoh s`duab jg rganxgb. Umfpay idaadw ydurjrgnt`moh. ]dur nttgotmdo ms kust amcg n ùfno jgmoh

w`d ms hdmoh up nob bdwo wmt` t`g gagvntdr (jrgnt`).R`ms ms dog di t`g jnsme tgeòmqugs di t`g Jubb`mstfgbmtntmdo. Nt imrst ydu wmaa odtmeg t`nt dur rgstagssùfno fmob ms edostnotay imrmoh dii ogw t`duh`ts.X`nt nf M hdmoh td gnt tdomh`t4 Bd M `nvg goduhìddb idr t`g wggcgob4 @dw bd M sdavg fy prdjagfs4

D`, M urhgotay `nvg td bd sdfgt`moh, w`me` M rgnaayenoodt niidrb td idrhgt!.Nob sd do nob sd do. Jgidrgydu codw yduaa jg brnhhgb nadoh wmt` t`g strgnf dit`duh`ts, sgnre`moh idr noswgrs nob sdautmdos. R`ms wnyn qunrtgr di no `dur `ns pnssgb nob ydu nrg stmaa gvgoinrt`gr nwny irdf ydur drmhmona tnrhgt.

R`g strgnf di t`duh`ts ms e`nrnetgrmstme idr t`g ùfnofmob. R`g trmec ms odt td try td s`dvg t`g t`duh`tsnwny, jut mostgnb odt td brnw nttgotmdo td t`gf.

R`duh`ts nrg amcg ygaadw agnvgs, w`me` mo t`g nutufonrg iadntmoh bdwo t`g rmvgr idaadwmoh t`g strgnf. X`goydu pmec up n agni, ydu pny ydur nttgotmdo td t`nt

pnrtmeuanr agni, w`grgns ydur nttgotmdo s`duab stnyedoegotrntgb do ydur jrgnt`moh. R`ms wny ydu iadntnadoh wmt` t`g strgnf irdf dog agni td nodt`gr. Mo t`ntfnoogr ydu nrg jgmoh nutdfntmenaay brnhhgb nadoh wmt`


38/261

t`g strgnf di t`duh`ts. X`go ydu kust stny nt t`g smbgdi t`g rmvgr ns no djsgrvgr, nitgr n w`mag ydur t`duh`ts

nrg hdmoh td bmsnppgnr jy t`gfsgavgs. Bdot pnynttgotmdo td gvgry smohag agni. Addc nt t`g w`dag, addc`dw t`g agnvgs nrg sadway iadntmoh nwny.

@dw bd ydu cggp jgmoh no djsgrvgr4 ]du rgfnmo nodjsgrvgr w`go ydu bmrget ydur iuaa nttgotmdo gxeausmvgaynt ydur jrgnt`moh (t`g wny ydu jrgnt`).]dur nttgotmdo

s`duab odt noyfdrg jg bmrgetgb nt sgvgrna dt`gr t`mohs,jut doay nt dog purpdsg nob t`nt s`duab jg t`g wnyydurg jrgnt`moh. Agt ydur t`duh`ts jg sadway iadntmohnwny amcg eadubs mo t`g scy.

Utgp 5. Agt ydur fmob inaa motd n amh`t saggp

@dw bd ydu fnonhg td inaa motd n amh`t saggp4 ]du rganxydur fmob, put ydur t`duh`ts nsmbg nob agt t`gsujstnoegs mo ydur jrnmos bd t`g kdj. R`g sujstnoegt`nt enusgs us td inaa nsaggp, ms enaagb fgantdomo.Fgantdomo ms no `drfdog. R`ms onturna saggpmoh pmaa msnetmvntgb jy t`g gpmp`ysms (pmogna hanob) mo dur jrnmos

w`go mts hgttmoh bnrc. R`ms ms dog di t`g rgnsdos w`yt`g trnufn fgbmtntmdo tncgs paneg wmt` dur gygs eadsgb.

X`go M'f inaamoh nsaggp, Mf sgosmoh n omeg rganxgbiggamoh mo fy `gnb, w`me` ms hdmoh td puaa fg motd t`gsaggpmoh stnhg. R`nt iggamoh ms enusgb jy t`g fgantdomo.

Rmp! Utuby ydur dwo inaamoh nsaggp prdegburg. R`ms wmaa`gap ydu td hgt t`rduh` t`ms stgp.


39/261

X`go ydur fmob ms bggpay rganxgb nob irgg di t`duh`ts,amcg mo ensg di t`g amh`t saggp, ydurg rgnby idr t`g

trnufn-`uotmoh.


40/261

Utgp :. Rrnufn-`uotmohJgidrg Mf hdmoh td gxpanmow`nts t`g fgnomoh ditrnufn-`uotmoh, M wduab amcg td spgob n igw wdrbs dodur gfdtmdos. @dw nrg gfdtmdos gvdcgb mo dur fmobs4

\anymoh gfdtmdos

X`nt bd M uobgrstnob jy gfdtmdos mo t`ms jddc4 Nogfdtmdo ms n rgnetmdo di dur jrnmos do n egrtnmo gvgot.

]du codw w`nt gfdtmdos nrg. Bdot ydu4 Ud M bdotoggb td fgotmdo gxnfpags.

Bd ydu stmaa rgfgfjgr t`g noemgot kucgjdx irdf t`g

hddb dab tmfgs di Gavms \rgsagy4 Mts n jmh, edmodpgrntgb, stgrgd rgedrb panygr, w`me` edotnmos n sgrmgsdi adoh panymoh rgedrbs (A\s) nob n fge`nomsf tdsgaget t`gsg rgedrbs. Mo t`g jgaay di t`g kucgjdx ydu wmaaimob sgvgrna A\s, w`me` nrg vgrtmenaay pdsmtmdogb mo nemreag do n rduob panttgr. R`grg ms nasd n hrnj nrf`nohmoh td amit up nob put bdwo t`g A\s . X`go ydu`nvg e`dsgo n sdoh, t`g rghnrbmoh A\ ms pmecgb up jyt`g hrnj nrf nob ms panegb bdwo do t`g turotnjag. R`got`g sdoh ms jgmoh panygb. Mo t`g snfg fnoogr ns durgfdtmdos nrg jgmoh panygb.

Gvgryjdby `ns hdt n stdec di gfdtmdos. Xg naa codw

gfdtmdos amcg govy, noxmgty, rgfdrsg, nbfmrntmdo, kdy,`ntg, `dpg, kgnadusy, advg, bmsbnmo, s`nfg, iggamoh dihumat, rghrgt, prmbg, snbogss, jdrgbdf, rgprdne`,bgspgrntmdo nob nohgr, gne` di w`me` ms sgpnrntgay


41/261

stdrgb wmt`mo us amcg no A\. R`gsg gfdtmdos eno jggvdcgb jy egrtnmo gvgots dr netmdos burmoh dur amig.

X`go sdfgdog pus`gs n egrtnmo juttdo do fg, t`g hrnjnrf wmaa sgaget t`g A\ nohgr nob agt mt pany. Mo ensg disdfgdog gasg, t`ms juttdo eduab jg nssdemntgb wmt`nodt`gr A\, idr mostnoeg govy. R`g bmiigrgoeg mo t`gnssdemntmdo ms enusgb jy pgrsdona gxpgrmgoegs, w`me`sgrvg ns jnechrduob idr t`gsg gfdtmdos. R`g juttdo ms

jgmoh pus`gb jy no gxtgrona trmhhgr, w`me` gvdcgs no(gfdtmdona) rgnetmdo. Nfdoh dt`gr t`mohs mt eduab jg nsduob, no mfnhg, n sfgaa, n tdue`, sdfgdogs jg`nvmdurdr no gxprgssmdo. No gxnfpag. M `nb n edaagnhug w`d

wns jg`nvmoh bmsrgspgetiua nob bmsbnmoiua. Enusgb jyt`ms (edosgqugotay) `g fnbg fg pany t`g A\ nohgr. Mcodw t`nt nt t`nt vgry fdfgot do fy dt`gr edaagnhugs

kucgjdx t`g A\ govy wns jgmoh panygb.

Nodt`gr gxnfpag. X`go M `gnr wnmamoh smrgos dinfjuanoegs, M stnrt hgttmoh omeg gfdtmdos. R`gsggfdtmdos enfg motd jgmoh burmoh fy `dambny mo \nrms. M

wns aymoh do t`g jgb mo fy `dtga rddf w`mag t`g

wmobdw wns dpgo, gokdymoh t`g sduobs di t`g emty(nfdoh dt`gr t`mohs smrgos) nob M igat `nppy. Fy idrfgrogmh`jdr do t`g dt`gr `nob suiigrs irdf vgry `gnvygfdtmdos w`go `gnrmoh t`g snfg smrgos. @gr `usjnobbmgb mo no nfjuanoeg do `ms wny td n `dspmtna. Ud mtsedfpagtgay uobgrstnobnjag t`nt t`g gfdtmdos wg igat

w`go `gnrmoh t`g sduob di t`g smrgos, wgrg tdtnaay gne`

dt`grs dppdsmtg.


42/261

Fge`nomsf di nssdemntmoh gfdtmdos wmt` gvgots

@dw bdgs t`g kucgjdx codw w`me` A\ nssdemntgs wmt`w`me` juttdo4 R`ms moidrfntmdo `ns jggo prdhrnffgb

sdfgw`grg do t`g prmotgb emreumt jdnrb di t`g kucgjdx.

Do t`ms jdnrb n juttdo ms jgmoh amocgb td no gfdtmdo.

Mo dur jrnmos t`ms iuoetmdo `ns n spgemna bdfnmo, w`me`

ms enaagb t`g amfjme systgf.

R`g amfjme systgf nfdoh dt`gr t`mohs edosmsts di t`g

jrnmo bdfnmos t`g nfyhbnan nob t`g `mppdenfpus. R`g

nfyhbnan anys edoogetmdos jgtwggo moidrfntmdo irdf

dur sgosgs nob edupags t`gsg wmt` gfdtmdos. R`g gfd-

tmdona moidrfntmdo prdegssmoh tncgs paneg mo t`g nfyh-

bnan, nfdoh w`me` t`g djsgrvntmdo di bnohgr ns wgaa nst`g gxpgrmgoeg di ignrs. R`g `mppdenfpus t`go hmvgs

fgnomoh td t`nt djsgrvntmdo. Mo dt`gr wdrbs; t`g amfjme

systgf ms stggrmoh dur kucgjdx, ms agttmoh t`g hrnj nrf

tncmoh t`g rmh`t A\ nob ms agttmoh mt pany.

Zgprdhrnffmoh t`g kucgjdx@nrbwnrg

DC, agts `nvg n qumec addc uobgr t`g `ddb di durkucgjdx. X`nt bd wg sgg4 Juttdos, t`rgnbs, Apsnob npany fge`nomsf. Agts hd sgg w`nt ms hdmoh td `nppgo

mo fy kucgjdx w`go M `gnr n smrgo. X`go t`g smrgojuttdo ms pus`gb, t`g gagetrme smhona ms hdmoh td t`g A\`nppmogss nob t`go t`ms A\ ms jgmoh panygb. R`g A\nob t`g juttdo nrg amocgb td gne` dt`gr wmt` n jaug


43/261

t`rgnb. X`go wg eut t`ms t`rgnb, fy juttdo smrgo wmaajg bmsedoogetgb irdf t`g A\ `nppmogss. Mo dt`gr

wdrbs Mf odt hdmoh td igga `nppmogss noyfdrg w`go M`gnr t`g smrgo. Do t`g dt`gr `nob t`g juttdo di fyidrfgr ogmh`jdr wmaa jg edoogetgb jy t`g rgb t`rgnb tdt`g A\ snbogss.

Ns ydu wmaa uobgrstnob, wg enoodt dpgo t`g scuaa di fyidrfgr ogmh`jdr td eut dii t`g edrrget rgb t`rgnb.

Noy`dw, t`nt msot ogegssnry. R`grg ms nodt`gr wny tdsdavg t`ms prdjagf. Xg eno enusg t`g rgb t`rgnb td jgjurogb t`rduh`. Rd jg njag td bd t`ms, wgaa `nvg tddvgrstrnmo t`g t`rgnb. @dw nrg wg hdmoh td fnonhgt`ms4 Xg nrg hdmoh td gvdcg n vgry strdoh pdsmtmvggfdtmdo burmoh t`g rgamvmoh di n trnufn. R`go t`g onsty

gfdtmdo tdhgt`gr wmt` t`g pdsmtmvg gfdtmdo `ns tdenusg no dvgrstrnmo mo t`g t`rgnb. Agt fg try td gxpanmot`ms dt`grwmsg. Ns adoh ns M usg fy hnrbgo `dsg jyfgnos di no drbmonry tnp, t`ms `dsg wmaa stny motnet.

X`go M edooget fy hnrbgo `dsg td t`g adena imrgimh`tgrs ernog, M wmaa egrtnmoay gob up wmt` n jurst

hnrbgo `dsg. @dw ms t`ms enusgb4 R`g wntgr prgssurg mot`g imrg imh`tgrs ernog ms t`nt `mh`, t`nt fy hnrbgo `dsgbgimomtgay ms hdmoh td jurst. Mo t`g snfg wny wg enoenusg no godrfdus prgssurg mo t`g rgb t`rgnb, ns nrgsuat di w`me` mt wmaa jg jurogb t`rduh`.

Fy ogurdpsye`dadhmena t`gdry

X`nt gxnetay ms t`g fgnomoh di t`g t`rgnb4 Mo t`mssgetmdo Maa try td hmvg fy dwo sgfm-semgotmimegxpanontmdo. Maa cggp mt ns smfpag ns pdssmjag. Fy A\


44/261

Nohgr `ns jggo amocgb td t`g juttdo jy t`g t`rgnb. Modur jrnmos t`gsg cmob di t`rgnbs nrg enaagb ogurna

ogtwdrcs. N t`rgnb edosmsts di n sgqugoeg di ogurdos.R`g ogurdos nrg odt kdmogb td gne` dt`gr. R`g spnegsjgtwggo t`g ogurdos nrg enaagb syonpsgs. R`g ogurdosedffuomentg wmt` gne` dt`gr jy pnssmoh do n fgssnhg(smhona), sd-enaagb ogurdtrnosfmttgr (kust amcg twd pgdpagsgobmoh gfnmas td gne` dt`gr). N ogurdtrnosfmttgr ms n

smhona fntgrmna w`me` bgaghntgs mfpuasgs jgtwggoogurdos. Mi t`g ogurdos nrg odt kdmogb td gne` dt`gr,`dw ms mt pdssmjag t`nt t`gy jgedfg dog t`rgnb4 R`gogurdos wmaa odt jgedfg dog t`rgnb uotma nogurdtrnosfmttgr edoogets t`g ogurdos td gne` dt`gr.\ut tgo edmos do t`g tnjag mo dog strnmh`t amog wmt` nbmiigrgoeg di `nai n egotmfgtgr jgtwggo gne` dt`gr.

R`nt s`duab jg tgo ogurdos. Nt t`ms fdfgot t`gy nrgodt ygt amocgb td gne` dt`gr. Rncg n wntgrmoh eno nob agtsdfg brdps di wntgr (ogurdtrnosfmttgrs) inaa jgtwggo naat`gsg edmos, sd t`g wntgr wmaa gvgotunaay edooget naaedmos td gne` dt`gr. Odw t`gsg edmos nrg fncmoh updog t`rgnb. Ud t`rduh` t`ms t`rgnb no gagetrme smhona eno

jg pnssgb odw.

Gfdtmdos eno fncg t`g t`rgnb strdohgr dr wgncgrenusgb jy nbbmtmdona ogurdtrnosfmttgrs, w`me` nrgedfmoh irgg (jgmoh rgagnsgb). M t`moc t`nt gvgry gfdtmdocodws mts dwo ogurdtrnosfmttgr nob/dr n edfjmontmdodi bmiigrgot ogurdtrnosfmttgrs. Mo dt`gr wdrbs; fy

nohgr nob fy advg bd jdt` `nvg t`gmr dwoogurdtrnosfmttgr(s). X`go M rgpaneg t`gogurdtrnosfmttgrs di nohgr jy t`g ogurdtrnosfmttgrs di


45/261

advg, t`g drmhmona t`rgnb mo fy kucgjdx wmaa jgbmssdavgb. N ogw t`rgnb wmt` t`g ogurdtrnosfmttgrs di

Advg eduab nrmsg. X`go M gvdcg n vgry strdoh pdsmtmvggfdtmdo burmoh t`g rgamvmoh di fy trnufn, fy t`rgnb

wmaa hgt dvgradnbgb wmt` nbbmtmdona ogurdtrnosfmttgr(s).R`gsg ogurdtrnosfmttgr(s) jgadoh td t`g pdsmtmvggfdtmdo. R`g strnmo agnbs td noouafgot di t`g drmhmonat`rgnb nob sdfgtmfgs td t`g bgvgadpfgot di n ogw

t`rgnb wmt` nodt`gr ogurdtrnosfmttgr. Gvdcmoh t`g rmh`togurdtrnosfmttgr ms t`g cgy td sueegss mo t`g prdegss ditrnufn rgprdhrnffmoh.

Idr gxnfpag, agts tncg twd bmiigrgot ogurdtrnosfmttgrs,onfgay bdpnfmog nob nbrgonamog. Bdpnfmog prdvmbgsbgamh`t, no gxtrgfgay pagnsnot iggamoh idr n `ufno

jgmoh. Nbrgonamog ms prdbuegb mo ensg di ignr, strgss,nohgr, edab, `gnt nob pnmo. Mo fy ensg bdpnfmog msnetmvntgb w`go M `gnr n smrgo. Do t`g dt`gr `nob, moensg di fy idrfgr ogmh`jdr t`g nbrgonamog ms jgmohmoergnsgb w`go s`gs `gnrmoh t`g snfg sduob. Mfnhmogt`nt M wduab jg njag td gxe`nohg fy bdpnfmog wmt` fy

idrfgr ogmh`jdr idr nbrgonamog. X`nt wduab M jg hdmohtd igga4 Mo noy ensg Mf odt hdmoh td jg enpnjag digxpgrmgoemoh iggamohs di `nppmogss noy fdrg.

Burmoh t`g rgamvmoh di fy trnufn M ergntg no netmdo drno net w`me` gvdcgs n pdsmtmvg gfdtmdo mo fy fmob.

R`g gfdtmdo `ns td jg n adt strdohgr nob t`g dppdsmtg

di t`g onsty gfdtmdo. R`ms gfdtmdo wmaa gvdcg nodt`gr(dt`gr) ogurdtrnosfmttgr(s), w`me` gvgotunaay ms (nrg)hdmoh td jnoms` t`g drmhmona ogurdtrnosfmttgr(s). R`ms mshdmoh td enusg t`g dvgrstrnmo nob t`g noouafgot di t`g


46/261

drmhmona t`rgnb. Idr t`ms rgnsdo t`g juttdo di t`g A\wmaa jg bmsedoogetgb. R`ms wny M fnonhg td hgt rmb di

fy onsty gfdtmdos. Mo sdfg ensgs t`g onsty gfdtmdowmaa gvgo jg rgpanegb jy no dppdsmtg strdoh gfdtmdo. Maatncg no gxnfpag di n ydut` trnufn, enusgb jy juaaymohenrrmgb dut jy n hrdup di yduohstgrs nt se`dda. Udfg dit`g drmhmona onsty gfdtmdos edosmstgb di fy uoegrtnmotynob fy pdwgragssogss. Gvgryjdby eduab odtmeg t`ms mo

fy jg`nvmdur. M `nvg trgntgb t`ms ydut` trnufn burmoh ntrnufn-fgbmtntmdo. X`go odwnbnys M t`moc jnec td t`msjuaaymoh, M igga n adt fdrg sgai-edoimbgoeg ns wgaa ns ntrgfgobdus pdwgr. Mi sdfgdog s`duab stnrt juaaymoh fgodw, `g/s`g wduab hgt n vgry imrf rgnetmdo irdf fg morgturo.

Uditwnrg

Dur kucgjdx nasd `ns n vdaufg juttdo, w`me` nbkustst`g sduob motgosmty di t`g A\. R`g snfg A\ eno jgpanygb adubay dr sditay. X`go t`g vdaufg juttdo mstuogb do fnx, t`g sduob wmaa edfg dut di t`gkucgjdx nt mts adubgst. Agts djsgrvg fy gxnfpag w`gofy A\ nohgr `nb jggo gvdcgb jy fy edaagnhug nob

wns panygb jy fy kucgjdx. Fy nohgr wns odt t`ntmotgosg, t`nt M wduab `nvg hdmoh td jgnt fy edaagnhug.

R`grg ms n bmiigrgoeg mo t`g motgosmty di gfdtmdonamty.Do n senag irdf < td >< stnobs idr t`g

fnxmfna vdaufg. Agts sny t`nt mo ensg di n >


47/261

noy nohgr nt naa. R`ms motgosmty ms odt`moh gasg t`no t`gvdaufg agvga di dur A\.

R`g snfg A\ nohgr eno jg panygb mo bmiigrgotsmtuntmdos wmt` n bmiigrgot vdaufg agvga. Mo nodt`grsmtuntmdo t`no mo t`g dog wmt` fy edaagnhug, fy A\nohgr eduab jg panygb wmt` t`g vdaufg agvga 2. GvgryA\ mo dur kucgjdx `ns mts dwo uomqug edbg. R`g edbg msjgmoh bgrmvgb irdf t`g imrst twd agttgrs di t`g movdavgb

gfdtmdo.R`g A\ nohgr `ns n edbgNO, t`g A\ ignr`ns n edbg IG gt egtgrn. X`go ydu nbb t`g vdaufg agvgatd t`gsg edbgs, ydu hgt t`g edfpagtg prdhrnffmohedbg, amcg IG8 dr IG2. Mo t`g gxnfpag wmt` fyedaagnhug, `g `ns gvdcgb mo fy kucgjdx no nutdfntme\`mamppg-rgnetmdo NO8. R`ms fgnos t`nt fy A\

nohgr(NO) `nb jggo panygb wmt` vdaufg agvga 8.

@dw wduab M jg njag td fncg fy NO8-edbg sd amttag,t`nt mt jgedfgs NO(


48/261

trnufn Mf hdmoh td gvdcg n vgry strdoh (pdsmtmvg)gfdtmdo.

Jgidrg wg eno e`nohg dur trnufntme gxpgrmgoeg irdft`g pnst, imrst wgaa `nvg td jg njag td enaa t`ntgxpgrmgoeg jnec td dur fmob. Mo fy ensg t`ms wns odtpdssmjag noy fdrg. M eduabot rgfgfjgr fy trnufntmegxpgrmgoegs noy fdrg. R`nts w`y M `nb td trnec bdwofy suocgo Iaymoh Bute`fno wmt` mts snig bgpdsmt

jdxgs.

Xg nrg hdmoh jnec mo tmfg addcmoh idr t`nt trnufntmegxpgrmgoeg, w`me` ms rgspdosmjag idr t`g gfdtmdonargnetmdo. M enaagb t`ms sgnre` dpgrntmdo n trnufn-ùotmoh.

Fgt`db di trnufn-ùotmoh

R`g ùotmoh sgnsdo `ns jggo dpgogb. Xgrg hdmohùotmoh idr dur trnufns irdf t`g pnst. Bd ydu stmaacodw w`grg t`gy eduab jg iduob4 R`g trnufns nrgadecgb up mo t`g snigty bgpdsmt jdxgs di t`g Iaymoh

Bute`fno, w`me` ms suoc sdfgw`grg do no uocodwospdt mo t`g bggp degno di dur sujedosemdusogss. @dwnrg wg hdmoh td rgedvgr t`g Iaymoh Bute`fno4 @dw nrg

wg hdmoh td ùot idr dur trnufns 4 Mts amcg ùotmoh idrfmeg. ]du bdot codw w`grg t`gy nrg `mbmoh, jut t`gyenot rgsmst td s`dw up td hgt n pmgeg di e`ggsg. Amcgfdst s`mps dur Iaymoh Bute`fno nasd `ns fmeg w`d nrg`mbmoh mo t`g snig-bgpdsmt jdxgs. Xg nrg hdmoh td ùotidr t`gsg fmeg (trnufns). @nvg ydu ogvgr enuh`t fmeg4


49/261

@grg ms fy mostruetmdo. \ut bdwo n fdusgtrnp wmt`sdfg jnmt mo mt nob cggp wnmtmoh.

Agts djsgrvg t`nt pnrtmeuanr gxnfpag di t`g moembgotwmt` fy edaagnhug. Enusgb jy `ms jg`nvmdur M igat nohgredfmoh up. Udfgw`grg mo fy kucgjdx t`g A\ nohgrms nssdemntgb wmt` n pnrtmeuanr trnufn. R`ms nssdemntmdo`ns no nonadhy wmt` Irgubs fgt`db di irgg nssdemntmdo.

Fy iggamoh di nohgr ms fy jnmt. R`g trnufn- fgbmtntmdoms amcg n fdusg trnp motd w`me` t`g fdusg (t`g trnufn)ms hdmoh td gotgr. Mo fy saggp fy kucgjdx ms enpnjag tdtrnec bdwo t`g rmh`t trnufn, t`nt ms td sny t`g trnufn,

w`me` gvdcgs fy nohgr. R`g snfg rgsuat eno jgne`mgvgb burmoh t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdo. M t`moc t`nt

odw t`g tmfg `ns edfg td stnrt wmt` n jmt di prnetmemoh.

Uermpt di n trnufn-fgbmtntmdo (stgps > nob :)

>. Rncg-dii. Umocmoh motd t`g bgpt` di t`g sgn di t`gsujedosemdusogss.

Jgidrg stnrtmoh t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdo yduaa `nvg tdstuby t`g tncg-dii prdegburg di t`ms fgbmtntmdo. Umtbdwo. Mfnhmog ydurg mo t`g edecpmt di n fdbgroimh`tgr kgt panog. ]durg tdtnaay snig. ]durg jrgnt`mohsadway nob bggpay t`rduh` no dxyhgo fnsc irdf t`gsuppay mo ydur rgspmrntmdo bgvmeg. ]du duh`t tdedoegotrntg do ydur jrgnt`moh. Xnmt uotma ydurg rganxgb

nob ydur `gnb `ns enafgb bdwo. R`ms jrmohs ydurjrnmownvgs mo t`g irgqugoey, w`me` ms edfpnrnjag tdt`g amh`t saggp. R`ms ms vgry mfpdrtnot! Mi ydurg odtsuiimemgotay sujfgrhgb motd ydur fgbmtntmdo, t`g


50/261

Iaymoh Bute`fno wmaa odt edfg td t`g surineg nob ydurtrnufns wmaa odt edfg motd ydur edosemdusogss. N

fdusg ms odt hdmoh td jg enpturgb ns adoh ns mtsedostnotay jusy nrduob t`g fdusgtrnp (enusgb jy t`gprgsgoeg di rgstagss t`duh`ts, tgosmdos gte.).

:. Rrnufn-`uotmoh. Ugttmoh fdusgtrnp

Odw ydu s`duab enaa up n rgegot gvgot, w`me` gvdcgs n

typmena \`mamppg rgnetmdo mo ydur fmob. Mo fy ensg mtwns fy nohgr, w`me` wns gvdcgb jy fy edaagnhug.]durg stmaa smttmoh snigay mo t`g edecpmt.R`g gxpgrmgoegw`me` ydu `nvg gvdcgb, `ns jrduh`t nadoh no gfdtmdo.Bgtgrfmog mo w`me` pnrt di ydur jdby t`ms gfdtmdo `nssgttagb mtsgai. Zgagnsg ydursgai irdf ydur rgegot

gxpgrmgoeg. Fncg t`ms gxpgrmgoeg bmsnppgnr. Kust agnvgt`g gfdtmdo jg`mob. Bdot ydu wdrry mi t`ms wmaa odtsueeggb. Mo t`ms ensg mts t`g gfdtmdo t`nt eduots. R`msms w`nt wg oggb rmh`t odw. Brnw ydur nttgotmdo td t`gspdt w`grg t`g gfdtmdo ms noe`drgb mo ydur jdby.Edoegotrntg ydursgai do t`ms spdt nob wnmt. R`gfdusgtrnp `ns jggo sgt up. Odw yduaa `nvg td cggp

wnmtmoh.

R`g gfdtmdo do w`me` ydurg edoegotrntmoh ydursgai msrgiagetgb mo t`g vmsdr di ydur imh`tgr kgt. ]du `nvg hdt ntnrhgt mo ydur vmsdr R`nts w`y M enaa t`ms gfdtmdo ntnrhgt-iggamoh. R`ms ms t`g jnmt wmt` t`g `gap di w`me`

wgrg hdmoh td aurg n fdusg dut di dur IaymohBute`fno. X`nt wmaa `nppgo nitgr t`g wnmtmoh4 X`goydu `nvg suiimemgotay jggo suoc motd t`g fgbmtntmdo,ydu wmaa hgt n trnufntme gvgot irdf t`g pnst s`dwmoh up


51/261

mo ydur fmob. R`ms trnufntme gvgot ms rgspdosmjag idrt`g drmhmo di ydur gfdtmdo. ]dur kucgjdx `ns

nssdemntgb t`ms trnufntme gvgot wmt` ydur \`mamppg-rgnetmdo.

* O.J. X`go ydu `nvgot hdt n rgegot gvgot nt ydurbmspdsna, jut ydu nrg ogvgrt`gagss jdt`grgb jy gfdtmdo(dr n iggamoh) ydu s`duab edoegotrntg ydursgai bmrgetaydo t`nt gfdtmdo (t`g tnrhgt-iggamoh). Iurt`gr bdwo mo

t`ms jddc yduaa imob gxnfpags di t`nt cmob difgbmtntmdos.

Gxnfpag di n trnufn-fgbmtntmdo

M rgigr td t`g gnramgr fgotmdogb smtuntmdo wmt` fyedaagnhug. @g ms jg`nvmoh `mfsgai bmsrgspgetiua nobbmsbnmoiua. R`ms `ns n egrtnmo giiget do fg (n juttdo dify kucgjdx ms jgmoh pus`gb mo). @ms jg`nvmdur nrdusgsstrdoh iggamohs di nohgr mo fg (NO8). Enusgb jy t`gnohgr, M enoodt hgt n smohag wdrb dut di fy fdut`noyfdrg w`go M try td tnac td `mf njdut `ms edobuet. Meno `nrbay hmvg `mf n sanp do t`g ineg td gxprgss fy

nohgr. Fy gfdtmdos jdt`gr fg n adt. M `nvgot t`ginmotgst mbgn w`y Mf gxpgrmgoemoh t`ms fue` di nohgrnob w`nts t`g sduregdi t`ms. M wnot td hgt rmb di mt.

Mf hdmoh td smt mo fy fgbmtntmdo e`nmr. M sgg td mt t`ntfy `gnb ms rganxgb nob M rgenaa t`g gxpgrmgoeg.

Rnrhgt-iggamoh

Fy tnrhgt-iggamoh ms fy iggamoh di nohgr. Mts sdfgw`grgmo fy jrgnst. Mf edoegotrntmoh do mt nob M wnmt.


52/261

Rrnufn-gxpgrmgoeg

No mfnhg ms nppgnrmoh. Mf sggmoh fysgai mo sgedobnryse`dda. Mf jgmoh surrduobgb jy n hrdup di dabgryduohstgrs. Dog di t`gf ms njdut n `gnbs agoht`s`drtgr t`no `ms pggrs. R`gy nrg fue` dabgr t`no M nf.Mf jgmoh pgstgrgb nob jgamttagb jy `mf nob jy `msirmgobs. R`grg ms od wny dut. Mf hdmoh td adsg t`g jnttagnhnmost t`g hrdup. M enot stnob up idr fysgai. Mf

iurmdus nob M igga pdwgragss.

Fy kucgjdx amocs fy nohgr irdf t`g gvgot mo sgedobnryse`dda td t`g moembgot wmt` fy edaagnhug. Mo jdt`smtuntmdos M eduabot `mt gmt`gr t`g juaay odr fyedaagnhug. M gxpgrmgoegb n adt di nohgr w`me` wns

bgspgrntgay addcmoh idr n wny dut.

DC, ydu trnecgb bdwo t`g rmh`t trnufn, w`me` msrgspdosmjag idr ydur \`mamppg-rgnetmdo. X`nt odw4(X`nt s t`g ogxt stgp4).


53/261

Utgp 5. Rrnufn-prdhrnffmoh

Xg `nvg enuh`t n fdusg odw. X`nt nrg wg hdmoh td bdwmt` mt4 Odw M codw t`g drmhmo di fy nohgr mo t`gsmtuntmdo wmt` fy edaagnhug. Mt wns enusgb jy nomoembgot nt t`g sgedobnry se`dda. M enot e`nohg t`msmoembgot. Mt `nppgogb mo fy pnst. Jut do t`g dt`gr `nobM eno e`nohg t`g gxpgrmgoeg di t`ms gvgot mo fyfgfdry. R`g purpdsg di t`ms e`nohg ms td uoe`nmo fygfdtmdona rgnetmdo irdf t`g gvgot. Mo dt`gr wdrbs; Mfhdmoh td sgpnrntg fy nohgr irdf fy rgedaagetmdo. Nogxnfpag. X`go M t`moc jnec td t`g moembgot nt t`gsgedobnry se`dda, M bdo't wnot td igga nohgr jut mostgnbM strmvg td hgt n iggamoh di n adt di strgoht` nob

edoimbgoeg. Fy kucgjdx ms gspgemnaay hdmoh td nssdemntgfy strgoht` nob edoimbgoeg wmt` t`g moembgot wmt` fyedaagnhug. R`ms wmaa gonjag fg td usg fy strgoht` nobedoimbgoeg w`go Mf tnacmoh td t`g pgrsdo mo qugstmdonjdut `ms/`gr jg`nvmdr t`g ogxt tmfg. M s`naa odt igganohgr stnobmoh mo fy wny noyfdrg. @dw wmaa M jg njag

td rgne` t`ms hdna4Dur amig ms amcg n fdvmg w`me` ansts bgenbgs. Naa amiggvgots nrg rgedrbgb do n imafstrmp, w`me` eno jg panygbantgr do jy n imafstrmp prdkgetdr mo dur `gnb (rgfmobmohfgfdrmgs). X`go n egrtnmo gvgot gvdcgs n strdohgfdtmdo wmt`mo us, t`g imafstrmp mo t`g prdkgetdr ms

hgttmoh knffgb w`me` rgsuats mo n rgpany di t`g snfgirnhfgot do t`g serggo dvgr nob dvgr nhnmo*. Mo t`gimafstrmp prdkgetdr nrmsgs no dvgrstrnmo. Nt t`nt fdfgot


54/261

t`g gvgot moeaubmoh t`g edrrgspdobmoh gfdtmdo wmaa jgstdrgb mo t`g fgfdry di dur kucgjdx.

Mo t`g iuturg t`g kucgjdx wmaa jg addcmoh idr n smfmanramig gvgot nob wmaa put do t`g snfg A\ gfdtmdos,

w`me` ms nssdemntgb wmt` t`g knffgb imafstrmp. Xg nrghdmoh td rgpnmr t`nt knffgb pmgeg di t`g imafstrmp, sdt`nt t`g fdvmg eno jg rgsufgb.

OJ;* Mo t`g wdrst ensg (segonrmd) ydurg hdmoh tdbgvgadp \dsttrnufntme strgss bmsdrbgr (amcg M bmb) ns nrgsuat di w`me` yduaa jg rgamvmoh t`g vgry snfgtrnufntme gvgot dvgr nob dvgr nhnmo.

Needrbmoh td t`g Neegagrntgb Moidrfntmdo \rdegssmohFdbga di t`g Nfgrmeno psye`dadhmst Irnoemog U`npmrd,(w`d bgvgadpgb t`g GFBZ-t`grnpy) trnufn ms enusmohe`nohgs mo ogurdtrnosfmttgrs ns wgaa ns mo go nbrgonamog,

w`me` t`go nrg enusmoh n anec di jnanoeg mo t`gogrvdus systgf. R`g `nobamoh di moidrfntmdo ms jgmohjadecgb (t`g imafstrmp mo t`g prdkgetdr ms hgttmohknffgb). R`g jrnmos ns wgaa ns t`g rgst di t`g jdby nrg

hgttmoh bmsadentgb nob nrg edosgqugotay odt jgmoh njagnoyfdrg td pgridrf t`g wny t`gy s`duab jg. R`gpnmoiua fgfdrmgs nrg irgqugotay jgmoh trmhhgrgb jy n

vnrmgty di motgrona nob gxtgrona stmfuam. R`ms nppgnrs mos`npgs di ians`jnecs, omh`tfnrgs, rgamvmoh nob nrdusnas.Mo ensg di n wgaa-iuoetmdomoh "Moidrfntmdo \rdegssmoh

Uystgf", t`grg gxmsts n ogurdadhmena jnanoeg mo t`gmoidrfntmdo-prdegssmoh (ns n rgsuat di w`me` t`gimafstrmp mo t`g prdkgetdr ms odt hgttmoh knffgb).


55/261

Agts tncg n eadsg addc nt t`nt knffgb pmgeg di t`gfdvmg. Mf hdmoh td rgamvg t`g trnufn td jg njag td

uobgrstnob w`nt cmob di gfdtmdo t`nt gxpgrmgoeg msenaamoh up (gvdcmoh) mo fg. Mf jgmoh pgstgrgb nobjgamttagb jy n jdy tdhgt`gr wmt` `ms irmgobs. R`ntnrdusgs no nohgr wmt`mo fg, w`me` M enoodt gxprgss(uttgr), jgenusg tdhgt`gr wmt` `ms irmgobs `g `ns nbdfmontg pdsmtmdo. Wttgrmoh t`nt iggamoh di nohgr ms

vgry mfpdrtnot idr fg nt t`nt pnrtmeuanr fdfgot. Jut Menot. R`nt's t`g rgnsdo w`y fy nohgr, jy fgnos di npmgeg di knffgb imafstrmp, ms nutdfntmenaay jgmoh stdrgbjy fy kucgjdx. Ud Maa `nvg td rgturo td t`g gxpgrmgoegtd jg njag td uttgr fy nohgr. R`ms ms pgrigetay pdssmjagburmoh t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdo nob mts edfpagtgay snigidr fysgai ns wgaa ns idr t`g vmemomty (t`g pgdpag nrduob

fg).

OJ; Mo t`ms jddc Mf usmoh t`rgg bmiigrgot onfgs td enaafysgai. Amttag Imampp (nhg tmaa >< ygnrs dab), Imampp (nhg>< tmaa :< ygnrs dab) nob \`mamppg (nhg jgtwggo :< ygnrsdab nob odw).

Fy trnufn-fgbmtntmdo hdgs do.

Mf sggmoh fysgai (Imampp) stnobmoh jgidrg n hrdup dinjdut twgavg yduohstgrs. R`gy `nvg surrduobgb(jgsmghgb) `mf. R`gyrg spmttmoh do `mf, cmecmoh `mf

wmt` t`gmr iggt nob pus`moh `mf mo `ms jnec. R`gyrg

`nvmoh n hrgnt tmfg.

M motgrvgog. M brnw n t`mec hanss wnaa jgtwggo Imampp nobt`dsg yduohstgrs. M hd td Imampp nob M nsc `mf `dw M


56/261

eduab jg njag td `gap `mf. X`nt bd ydu oggb nt R@MUYGZ] FDFGOR4, M nsc `mf. @g wnots n pnmr di

jdxmoh hadvgs. @g nscs fg td sgpnrntg t`g hrdup irdft`g agnbgr, sd `g eno hrmob no nxg wmt` t`g agnbgr doay.Imampp hgts gvgryt`moh `g wnots nt t`ms vgry fdfgot. Mbrnw t`g hanss wnaa dvgr `mf nob t`g agnbgr di t`ghrdup. R`gy nrg odw stnobmoh mo t`g fmbbag di mt. R`grgst di t`g hrdup `ns hnt`grgb jg`mob t`g hanss wnaa nob

ms wnmtmoh idr t`g t`mohs td edfg. Imampp jgnts up t`gtdrfgotdr nob nscs fg td dpgo up t`g wnaa. M bd w`nt`g wnots. R`go `g stnrts jgntmoh up gvgrydog, w`dsognr td `mf. Gspgemnaay t`g dogs, w`d `nb jggopgstgrmoh `mf fdst di naa. Fdst di t`gf nrg aymoh do t`ghrduob mo od tmfg. R`g dt`grs rno nwny. R`g dogs dot`g hrduob bdot `nvg t`g huts td imh`t nhnmost Imampp.

R`gyrg ernwamoh nwny. Mts n wdobgriua iggamoh td jgnjag td agt ydur nohgr edfg dut di ydur systgf nobfdrgdvgr td jg njag td stnob up idr ydursgai. Imampp hgtsn iggamoh di sgai-edoimbgoeg. @gs iggamoh strdoh goduh`td stnob up idr `mfsgai. @g nasd iggas FG (t`g hrdwoup \`mampp) stnobmoh jg`mob `mf. Codwmoh t`nt `g msot

nadog nt t`g gogfy irdot, surgay hmvgs `mf n sgeurgiggamoh.

Nt anst fy \`mamppg-rgnetmdo mo smfmanr smtuntmdos `nsjggo e`nohgb irdf nohgr td sgai-edoimbgoeg. Mo t`msgxnfpag M rgwnrb fy sgai-edoimbgoeg wmt` no 0-hrnbg.Fy kucgjdx ms jgmoh upbntgb nutdfntmenaay. Irdf odw

do mt panys t`g A\ Ugai-edoimbgoeg wmt` n vdaufg di0 mostgnb di t`g A\ Nohgr wmt` n vdaufg di 8 mo nsmfmanr smtuntmdo amcg t`g moembgot wmt` fy edaagnhug.


57/261

R`g prdhrnffmoh edbg NO8 `ns jggo rgpanegb jyUG0.

\rdhrnffmoh gfdtmdos

Nrg ydu infmamnr wmt` t`g motgrogt4 Mi sd, ydu surgay`nvg jggo edoirdotgb wmt` n wgj pnhg. N wgj pnhgedosmsts di mfnhgs nob tgxts, w`me` nrg prdvmbmoh t`g

vmsmtdr wmt` n tdtna vmgw mo n spgemime anydut. Jg`mob t`nt

vmgw ms n prdhrnffmoh edbg, w`me` ms enaagb t`g sduregedbg. Bd ydu wnot td sgg t`ms edbg4 Addc idr nsujfgou t`g sdureg edbg dr t`g pnhg sdureg mo t`gfnmo fgou di ydur jrdwsgr nob ydurg hdmoh td sgg npnhg wmt` oufjgrs nob agttgrs. R`ms ms t`g prdhrnffmohedbg di t`g wgj pnhg.

Mo t`g snfg wny t`g sdureg edbg di dur gfdtmdos ms`mbbgo jg`mob t`g mfnhg di dur rgedaagetmdo. Drgxpanmogb dt`grwmsg; Jg`mob dur rgedaagetmdo (wgj pnhg)n sdureg edbg ms `mbbgo (idr mostnoeg NO8), w`me`fnmotnmos no gfdtmdona gxpgrmgoeg di dur rgedaagetmdomo dur fgfdry (t`g jrdwsgr). R`g wgj pnhg nob t`g

sdureg edbg nrg mogxtrmenjay amocgb td gne` dt`gr.

Mi ydu e`nohg t`g sdureg edbg, yduaa nutdfntmenaaye`nohg t`g wgj pnhg. \rgvmdusay n prdhrnffgr `nb tde`nohg t`g sdureg edbg `mfsgai td jg njag td e`nohg t`g

wgj pnhg. @g `nb td uobgrstnob t`g fgnomoh di t`gbmhmts nob t`g agttgrs jg`mob t`g wgj pnhg. Odwnbnys nspgemna sditwnrg prdhrnf (@RFA gbmtdr) ms usgb idrt`ms purpdsg. Jy fgnos di t`ms prdhrnf yduaa jg njag tdbmrgetay e`nohg t`g wgj pnhg ydursgai. ]du bdot oggb


58/261

td uobgrstnob t`g sdureg edbg. Nitgr `nvmoh e`nohgbt`g wgj pnhg, t`g sdureg edbg wmaa jg nasd nutdfntmenaay

e`nohgb. R`ms ms t`g t`duh`t (mbgn) jg`mob fy trnufn-prdhrnffmoh. X`go ydu e`nohg t`g mfnhg (fdvmg) diydur rgedaagetmdo ydu nutdfntmenaay e`nohg ydurgfdtmdona gxpgrmgoeg di t`g rgedaagetmdo (idr mostnoegt`g sdureg edbg eno jg e`nohgb irdf NO8 td UG0).

]duaa uobgrstnob t`nt mts `nrb idr fg td netunaay

gxprgss fy jdttagb up (`dnrbgb up) nohgr. Mts ognraymfpdssmjag td hd nob jgnt up t`g yduohstgrs mo fygxnfpag td stmaa tncg fy rgvgohg, gvgo mi M eduab trnect`gf bdwo nitgr fdrg t`no twgoty ygnrs. Ns n fnttgrdi inet t`ms msot ogegssnry nt naa. R`g pdmot ms, t`nt ydunrg gfdtmdonaay jgmoh njag td rgbrgss (dr `gna) t`g

trnufntme gxpgrmgoeg mo ydur rgedaagetmdo. Mt bdgsotfnttgr t`nt ydurg gxpgrmgoemoh sgai-fnbg-up gvgotsburmoh t`g trnufn prdhrnffmoh, w`me` ogvgr tddcpaneg mo ydur pnst. R`g qugstmdo ms; Bdgs mt wdrc idrydu dr bdgsot mt4 Irdf fy gxpgrmgoeg M eno sny t`ms;

Nitgr n `gnamoh di fy trnufntme rgedaagetmdos mo t`g

trnufn-fgbmtntmdo, fy fgfdry wduab jg e`nohgb(rgprdhrnffgb). Fy nbkustgb rgedaagetmdo wmt` sgai-fnbg-up gvgots nob ogw gfdtmdona rgspdosg (drgxpgrmgoeg) wduab jg stdrgb mo fy fgfdry mostgnb dit`g idrfgr dog. X`go M t`moc jnec td t`g rgedaagetmdo

wmt` t`nt hrdup di yduohstgrs, M igga sgai-edoimbgoegnob pdwgr mostgnb di nohgr nob pdwgragssogss. M igga

t`g snfg wmt` rghnrb td smtuntmdos nt prgsgot, w`go npgrsdo ms jg`nvmoh bmsrgspgetiua nob bmspnrnhgb. Ud t`gtrnufn-prdhrnffmoh ms pgrfnogot. M t`moc t`nt n adt di


59/261

amttag e`mabrgo nrg rgbrgssmoh (dr `gnamoh) t`gmrtrnufntme gxpgrmgoegs mo t`g snfg wny mo drbgr td hgt

rmb di t`gmr onsty gfdtmdos. R`gy nrg hdmoh td rgamvg t`ggxpgrmgoeg w`grg t`gy wgrg snymoh nob bdmoh t`mohs,

w`me` hnvg t`gf n hddb iggamoh. Udfgtmfgs t`gy nrgbdmoh t`ms burmoh t`gmr panymoh. Mo t`nt wny t`gy nrgagttmoh dut t`gmr knffgb gfdtmdos. R`gy nrg bdmoh t`msjy t`gfsgavgs. Mo fy dpmomdo t`ms ms noe`drgb mo `ufno

onturg.X`ds bdmohw`nt mo t`g prdegss di trnufn-fgbmtntmdo4

R`grg nrg nawnys twd pgrsdos movdavgb mo t`g (snfg)trnufn-fgbmtntmdo. M fysgai nf jdt` di t`gf burmohtwd bmiigrgot pgrmdbs. No nbuat irdf t`g prgsgot w`d ms

puaamoh t`g strmohs nob `ms eduotgrpnrt irdf t`gtrnufntme gxpgrmgoeg mo t`g pnst. Ns n fnttgr di inetydurg wgnrmoh twd enps. ]du pany t`g rdag di jdt` t`gprnetmtmdogr nob t`g eamgot, di jdt` t`g iamh`t mostruetdrnob t`g npprgotmeg, di jdt` t`g bmrgetdr nob t`g netdr.Mt's t`g snfg edfjmontmdo ns fdt`gr nob bnuh`tgr. ]du`nvg n bnuh`tgr jut nt t`g snfg tmfg ydu nasd `nvg ydurdwo fdt`gr. ]du nrg n fdt`gr ns wgaa ns n bnuh`tgr ntt`g snfg tmfg. ]du eno gxpgrmgoeg ydur dwo iggamohs nsn fdt`gr nob ns n bnuh`tgr nt t`g snfg tmfg.

Cggp ydur bmstnoeg irdf ydur gfdtmdos.

Burmoh t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdo M gxpgrmgoeg t`gbmiigrgoeg jgtwggo t`g gfdtmdos di Imampp irdf t`gtrnufn-pgrmdb nob di t`g gfdtmdos di \`mamppg mo t`gprgsgot. M t`go igga gfdtmdos w`me` jgadoh td Imampp


60/261

irdf t`g pnst nob M igga gfdtmdos w`me` jgadoh td\`mamppg irdf t`g prgsgot. R`g gfdtmdos di Imampp irdf

t`g pnst `nvg td jg trgntgb. R`gy eno jg sddvgrw`gafmoh nob edfpgaamoh t`nt M enot sgpnrntgfysgai irdf t`g gfdtmdos. Maa `nvg td jg njag td cggpbmstnoeg irdf t`dsg onsty gfdtmdos td fncg t`gffnonhgnjag. Mo dt`gr wdrbs; M fust bmsedooget(sgpnrntg) fysgai irdf fy `drrmjag gfdtmdos. Maa `nvg

td cggp fysgai t`mocmoh rntmdonaay nt naa tmfgs, wmt`dutjgmoh enrrmgb nwny wmt` fy gfdtmdos. R`ms ms ogegssnryidr t`g rdag di \`mamppg irdf t`g prgsgot mo t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdo. @dw nf M hdmoh td fnonhg t`nt4 Mf ditgosggmoh fysgai mo n trnufntme gxpgrmgoeg irdf t`g pnst.

R`ms addcs amcg n fdvmg wmt` Imampp panymoh n agnbmohpnrt mo mt. X`go M sgg `mf M igga `ms gfdtmdos edfmoh

up motd fy fmob. M try td igga t`gf wmt`dut bmrgetaynssdemntmoh t`gf wmt` \`mamppg di t`g prgsgot. @dw bd Mfnonhg t`ms4 No gxnfpag; Mo t`g snfg wny Mf

wnte`moh n fdvmg mo n emogfn. M sgg no netdr mo nogfdtmdona segog. @ms hmrairmgob ms bymoh. Mf iggamoh `mshrmgi. M sny td fysgai; Mt msot fy sdrrdw, mts `ms

sdrrdw. Mf odt t`g hrmgi. M sgosg t`g jduobnryjgtwggo M nf nob fy gfdtmdo. M nf odt fy gfdtmdo.

R`ms jgadohs td fg kust amcg fy odsg, fy gygs, fy gnrs,fy aghs nob fy `nmr nasd jgadoh td fg. R`nt wny M enoigga t`g hrmgi di t`g netdr nob nt t`g snfg tmfg Mfnjagtd cggp t`mocmoh rntmdona wmt`dut jgmoh enrrmgb nwny jy

`ms dvgrw`gafmoh gfdtmdos. R`mocmoh rntmdonaay ms pnrtdi t`g rdag prnetmegb jy t`g \`mamppg di t`g prgsgot.Jgenusg `g ms t`g dog w`ds humbmoh fg t`rduh` fytrnufn-fgbmtntmdos. @ms gfdtmdona stntg di fmob nawnys


61/261

`ns td rgfnmo ogutrna, mobgpgobgot nob mfpnrtmna. Jut`dw nrg ydu hdmoh td fnonhg t`ms4 , dog eduab nsc. Mf

njag td `nobag t`ms jy odt iggamoh sdrry idr fysgai. Mtsvgry mfpdrtnot idr t`g jgogimt di t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdot`nt ydu bdot igga sdrry idr ydursgai. X`go M igga sdrryidr fysgai, M turo nutdfntmenaay motd t`g rdag di t`g

vmetmf. R`grgidrg M wduabot jg njag td gxpgrmgoeg fygfdtmdos sgpnrntgb irdf fy fmob nob M wduab

edfpagtgay hgttmoh knffgb mo fy trnufn-fgbmtntmdo.Fy nbvmeg ms; bgvgadp edfpnssmdo idr ydursgai mostgnbdi iggamoh sdrry idr ydursgai. Edfpnssmdo ms odt Ugai-Advg, jut mts advgwmt` (idr) ydursgai. Mts bgimomtgay odtsgaims`ogss. Iggamoh sdrry idr ydursgai ms bgstruetmvg. Mtspuaamoh ydu tdwnrbs t`g jdttdf di t`g pmt. @nvmohedfpnssmdo idr ydursgai ms `gnamoh, mt pus`gs ydu up td

`gnvgo, td t`g suo. @dw nrg ydu hdmoh td hgt rmb diydur sgai-pmty4 Gxnfmog ydur t`duh`ts. Udfgw`grgt`grg `ns td jg n wny di t`mocmoh, amcg; Addc w`nt t`gy`nvg bdog td fg!... Mf t`g vmetmf di . Mts odt fyinuat. M `nb jnb auec wmt` Mts fy intg t`nt

R`nts doay `nppgomoh td fg! U`gs t`g auecy dog nob

Mf odt! R`nt cmob di t`duh`ts nrg no mogx`nustmjagsdureg di sgai-pmty. Nt n egrtnmo pdmot M uobgrstddb t`ntt`ms wduab `nrbay tncg fg noyw`grg. M snmb td fysgai;

]gs, M `nb n trnufntme ydut`, w`me` ms stmaa stnobmoh mofy wny. @dw eno M pdssmjay fnonhg td rgbrgss (dr `gna)fy trnufn, sd t`nt M eno agnvg t`ms pgrmdb jg`mob fg nt

anst4 M wnot td fncg sdfgt`moh pdsmtmvg dut di t`g rgstdi fy amig (Mf 52 ygnrs dab w`mag Mf wrmtmoh t`ms jddc).@dw eno M stmaa gokdy fy amig4 @dw eno M jg `nppy4 Naa


62/261

t`ms s`duab jg edosmbgrgb td jg fy iuga idr prgpnrmohnob stnrtmoh up fy trnufn-fgbmtntmdo.

Jgadw idaadws n sermpt w`me` ydu eno usg td uoagns`ydur jnb gfdtmdos irdf ydur trnufns.

Uermpt di trnufn-fgbmtntmdo (stgp 5)

5. Rrnufn-prdhrnffmoh

Utnrt wmt` t`g fgbmtntmdo. ]du wgot t`rduh` t`g tncg-dii nob t`g stgps idr trnufn-`uotmoh. ]du `nvg jggosmocmoh motd t`g sgn di sujedosemdusogss. ]du `nvgjggo sgttmoh up n fdusgtrnp nob ydu `nvg jggoente`moh n fdusg. ]du odw `nvg no mfnhg, n trnufnirdf ydur pnst. Bmstnoeg ydursgai (tncg bmstnoeg) irdf

ydur gfdtmdos.

]du sgg no mfnhg dr n fdvmg s`dwmoh n trnufn. Utnrtbmstnoemoh ydursgai irdf ydur gfdtmdos. Ugg ydursgai don anrhg emogfn serggo. ]durg smttmoh mo t`g emogfnrddf. ]durg addcmoh nt t`g fdvmg nob ydu sgg ydursgaipgridrfmoh mo mt. ]du sgg ydursgai mo t`g trnufntmegxpgrmgoeg. Bdot ydu igga sdrry idr ydursgai. Rncg enrgt`nt ydurg odt hgttmoh dvgrw`gafgb wmt` ydurgfdtmdos. Uny td ydursgai; Mf odt fy gfdtmdos! Mfodt fy ignrs!. Zgagnsg ydursgai irdf ydur gfdtmdos. Mit`ms fmh`t odt hdmoh td sueeggb (idr t`g tmfg jgmoh)jgenusg ydur gxpgrmgoeg ms sd dvgrw`gafmoh nob/dr

ydurg jgmoh enrrmgb nwny wmt` ydur gfdtmdos ns n rgsuatdi w`me` ydurg hgttmoh edfpagtgay knffgb, t`go usgt`g fge`nomsf di t`g trnufn-entnpuat irdf t`g e`nptgrBd's go bdots di trnufn-fgbmtntmdo. R`g trnufn-


63/261

entnpuat ms hdmoh td hgt ydu dut di t`g trnufntmegxpgrmgoeg. Mts mfpdrtnot t`nt ydurg njag td cggp

t`mocmoh rntmdonaay burmoh ydur trnufn-fgbmtntmdo.R`moc di twd rdags, rgspgetmvgay t`g rdag di n iaymohmostruetdr nob t`g rdag di no npprgotmeg (trnmogg). R`giaymoh mostruetdr hmvgs mostruetmdos td `ms trnmogg, `gapmohnob suppdrtmoh `mf, wnte`moh `mf, edffuomentmoh

wmt` `mf, tncmoh enrg t`nt t`g iamh`t ms hdmoh snigay,

motgrvgomoh w`go ogegssnry, puaamoh (mi oggbgb) t`g`nobag di t`g entnpuat fge`nomsf, gt egtgrn.

Zgamvg ydur trnufn

Agt t`g mfnhg dr t`g fdvmg hgt t`rduh` td ydu prdpgray.Bdot pus` mt nwny dut di ydur fmob. Hd t`rduh` t`g

trnufntme gxpgrmgoeg iuaay (edfpagtgay) tmaa t`g gob.Bgtgrfmog t`g gfdtmdos w`me` t`g gxpgrmgoeg nrdusgsmo ydu. R`gsg gfdtmdos jgadoh td t`g trnmogg.

X`nt bdgs t`g trnmogg oggb4

Igga `ms gfdtmdos. Nsc ydur trnmogg w`nt `g oggbs mo

t`ms smtuntmdo. X`nt bdgs `g oggb td gxprgss `ms onstygfdtmdo4 X`nt bdgs `g oggb td hgt n strdoh pdsmtmvggfdtmdo4 X`go `gs vgry yduoh (idr gxnfpag n cmb diimvg ygnrs dab) ydu eno sgosg mt jy ydursgai. Wsunaay mtedfgs bdwo td edfidrtmoh, prdvmbmoh snigty, niigetmdonob n adt di advg.

E`nohg ydur mfnhg (fdvmg)

E`nohg t`g smtuntmdo mo ydur mfnhg (fdvmg) ns n rgsuatdi w`me` ydur trnmogg wmaa hgt t`g gfdtmdos `g oggbs.


64/261

R`gsg gfdtmdos nrg t`g dppdsmtg di t`g gfdtmdos w`me`nrg trdujamoh `mf. @dw bd ydu e`nohg t`g fdvmg4 ]du

eno bd t`ms jy nbbmoh n ogw netmdo dr n ogw gagfgot tdydur fdvmg. Wsg ydur ergntmvg njmamty, ydur inotnsy.Brdp t`g jduobnrmgs di rgnamty. Mo ydur fdvmggvgryt`moh ms pdssmjag. Utuby t`g e`nptgr Bd's go Bdo'tsdi t`g trnufn-fgbmtntmdo.

Netmdo

R`moc di n ogw netmdo dr n ogw net mo ydur fdvmg,w`me` gvdcgs t`g rgqumrgb gfdtmdos mo ydur trnmogg.R`ms netmdo eno jg pgridrfgb jy ydu dr jy ydur trnmoggdr jy jdt`. R`moc di t`g jdxmoh hadvgs, w`me` wgrghmvgo td Imampp td jg njag td jgnt up `ms njusgrs.

Gagfgot

]du eno nasd nbb n ogw gagfgot td t`g fdvmg. R`moc dit`g hanss wnaa, w`me` sgpnrntgb t`g hrdup di yduohstgrsmo t`g njdvg fgotmdogb gxnfpag. R`ms gagfgot `nsjrduh`t Imampp td snigty sd t`nt `g eduab swmte` td usmoh

netmdo. Npnrt irdf t`nt ydu eno e`nohg t`g idaadwmohgagfgots mo ydur fdvmg;

Amh`tmoh. \ut fdrg amh`t motd t`g mfnhg. Idrgxnfpag t`g suoamh`t. Igga t`g giiget do t`ggfdtmdos di ydur trnmogg. R`ms `ns n vgry hddbmoiaugoeg do fg burmoh fy trnufn-fgbmtntmdos.

Edadrs. ]du eno fncg t`g edadrs sditgr dr kustfdrg motgosg. Dr idr gxnfpag ydu eno fncg t`g


65/261

mfnhg turo motd janec nob w`mtg dr t`g dt`grwny nrduob.

R`g smzg di dr t`g bmstnoeg td t`g mfnhg. ]dueno goanrhg dr rgbueg t`g mfnhg mtsgai dr t`gbmstnoeg td t`g mfnhg.

Ygademty di panymoh. Agt t`g fdvmg pany instgr drsadwgr.

Uduobs. Fncg t`gf sditgr dr adubgr. Zgpanegeurrgot sduobs jy ogw dr infmamnr sduobs.Motrdbueg ogw sduobs. E`nohg vdmegs dipgrsdos. Idr mostnoeg agt sdfgdog tnac wmt` t`g

vdmeg (motdontmdo) di Fmecgy Fdusg gte.

Uegots. E`nohg segots. Motrdbueg ogw dr nargnbyinfmamnr segots.

Rnohmjag gagfgots. Idr mostnoeg agt t`g wnrfsgn jrggzg jadw motd ydur ineg.

X`go ydurg hdmoh td motrdbueg n ogw gagfgot, yduaa`nvg td enrgiuaay gfpnt`mzg w`nt eduab jg t`g moiaugoegdo t`g gfdtmdo di ydur trnmogg. Ms mt hdmoh td `gap4 Drmsot mt hdmoh td `gap4 Mi t`g noswgr ms oghntmvg, ydus`duab try td nppay nodt`gr gagfgot.


66/261

Gfdtmdo e`gec

Agt ydur ogw netmdo nob gagfgot bd t`gmr kdj. E`gec mit`g jnb gfdtmdos di ydur trnmogg nrg jghmoomoh tdbmfmoms`. ]dur hdna ms td fmomfmzg t`g strgoht` di ydurjnb gfdtmdos (nafdst) td n zgrd agvga. Edotmoug uotmaydur onsty gfdtmdos nrg (nafdst) jgmoh rgpanegb jydppdsmtg gfdtmdos. Bd ydu stmaa rgfgfjgr fy gxnfpagedoegromoh t`nt fdj di yduohstgrs4 R`g

prdhrnffmoh edbg NO8 mo fy ensg `ns jggo rgpanegbjy UG0. X`go ydu sgosg t`nt t`g bgsmrgb giiget `ns odtjggo rgnamzgb, ydu s`duab try td movgot n ogw netmdonob/dr n ogw gagfgot. Nt t`g gob di t`g trnufn-prdhrnffmoh, ydu'aa tncg ydur trnmogg td n trnufn-pnrnbmsg.


67/261

Utgp 2. Rrnufn-pnrnbmsg

Mo fy gfdtmdona wdrab M `nvg ergntgb n vmrtuna panegimaagb wmt` uoedobmtmdona advg nob jamssiua `nppmogss. Mfnbg up t`ms pnrnbmsg naa jy fysgai. Mt doay gxmsts mo fyfgfdry (mfnhmontmdo enpnjmamty). X`go M eadsg fy gygs,M sgg n wnrf wntgrinaa wmt` n jaug ancg, surrduobgb jyhrggo edvgrgb fduotnmos nob trdpmena trggs. Mo t`mspaneg t`g suo ms nawnys s`momoh. Mts odt tdd `dt nobogmt`gr tdd edab. M `gnr t`g sduob di t`g wntgrinaa nobdi t`g edadriua trdpmena jmrbs. M igga t`g sdit wnrfjrggzg mo fy ineg nob t`g edda wntgr spans`moh w`me`rgirgs`gs t`g nmr. Mts bgamemdus td jg t`grg. R`g trnufn-pnrnbmsg ms ogvgr jgmoh vmsmtgb jy strnohgrs. Mt's n

idrhdttgo paneg mo t`g fmbbag di n trdpmena kuohag.

N

how i overcame my trauma & ptsd | self-help guide & workbook | mindfulness based trauma treatment

Documents