Samuel Shely

Home ▶ My courses ▶ Fall 2015 ▶ F15.UWRT1103 - Caruso-75800-Combined-201580 ▶Thursday, October 1 ▶ Peer Review Forum (037) ▶ Links for Inquiry Path and Synthesis Paper

Search forums

◄ Info for Prezi and Start of Synthesis Paper Synthesis Paper ►

F15.UWRT1103 - Caruso-Combined-201580

Peer Review Forum (037)Links for Inquiry Path and Synthesis Paper

Subscribed

Display replies in nested form

Links for Inquiry Path and Synthesis Paperby Samuel Shely - Thursday, 1 October 2015, 3:22 AM

https://prezi.com/x6dv2q1680hd/inquiry-path/

Synthesis Paper.docxReply | Export to portfolio

Re: Links for Inquiry Path and Synthesis Paperby James Kelly - Thursday, 1 October 2015, 8:08 PM

After reading your Synthesis Paper, it is clear to me that the main questions that you aretrying to address include:

· Which is better? Socialism or Capitalism?

During your discussion within your essay, you decide that a mixture of both Socialism andCapitalism proves to be the most effective in increasing a nation’s economy.

· You should state this main point in your first paragraph as your thesis statement.

o Therefore, you can using examples of both socialism and capitalism provingto be effective in order to support this thesis.

Some improvements that you could include:

· Improve the flow your paper by developing a strong thesis statement, which youwill work toward to prove within your paper. Your thesis may be to prove thateconomies need a mixture of capitalism and socialism in order to be effective andproductive.

· Try to avoid grammatical errors

o “When people feel as though though they can create a business, the urge towork and climb oneself out of poverty is enhanced. “ Here you included theword “though” twice. The word “the” should be changed to “they” in thiscase, because you are referring to people. “Oneself” should be changed to“themselves” since you are referring to people.

§ You could also make this sentence more clear and concise byremoving “is enhanced.” As a result, your final sentence may looksomething like this: When people feel as though they can create abusiness, they urge to work harder, and as a result, climb themselvesout of poverty.

Advice and Suggestions/Comments for your Prezi:

· Your Prezi does well in forming connections between various topics

· You did well in developing a layout that shows the connections between topics

· One thing to mention: you could change the order in which the slides appear

o For example, after displaying a question, display the corresponding answersand ideas before jumping to an additional question.

o Make sure that your Prezi has a logical flow of ideas and support.

Show parent | Reply

Re: Links for Inquiry Path and Synthesis Paper

by Lukas Duemmler - Thursday, 1 October 2015, 9:31 PM

Wyatt,

Your introduction is good, with poverty being such a big topic now-a-days, it catchesmy attention. I think it might be beneficial to take out “This is what has prompted thequestion.” In the sentence prior, you mention that the first step is to identify the bestways to reduce poverty and I believe it would flow better if you take that out. Or, youcould combine those two sentences into something similar to this,

“Although it would be ideal to totally eradicate poverty’s existence, the first step is toidentify the most effective and efficient ways it can be reduced prompting thequestion: what is the most optimal system of government for reducing poverty,socialism or capitalism?”

Paragraph 2:

I like the explanation of capitalist’s views on strategies for decreasing poverty,because most readers probably will not know that. In the very last sentence you statethat,

“The privately owned territories are more acquainted with the problems connected topoverty, therefore will be able to address the problems more productively.”

Maybe you could give an example of how they address the problem moreproductively rather than the government directly funding the poor.

Paragraph 3:

Be more specific, especially with which countries support entrepreneurial efforts?How and why does this support increase their economy? The words “One might sumup that the…” in the final sentence seem like fluff words to me. I think it would bebeneficial to the coherence and flow of your paper if you take that part our and justsay,

“The capitalist strategy of minimizing poverty is to promote entrepreneurial efforts to createpositive economic activity such as creating jobs, and to keep the government out of theprivate sector – including privately owned charities – in order to support the more effectiveprivate sector.”

Paragraph 4:

I like how you really compare the two sides here, especially at the end. You start theparagraph by explain socialism, and then at the end you state how there are “twopolarizing points of view” and state their differences. It also gives the reader the ideathat a mix of both socialism and capitalism is best for the government, which youstate in your conclusion.

Conclusion:

You answer your question on which government style seems to be most optimal:capitalism and socialism by stating that both is the way to go. It was a goodsummarization of the two government types and the paper as a whole. Good job.

General:

◄ Info for Prezi and Start of Synthesis Paper Synthesis Paper ►

NAVIGATION

HomeMy homeMy profileCurrent course

F15.UWRT1103 - Caruso-75800-Combined-201580ParticipantsBadgesThursday, October 1

My courses

ACTIVITIES

AssignmentsForumsResources

ADMINISTRATION

Forum administration

My profile settings

You are logged in as Samuel Shely (Log out)F15.UWRT1103 - Caruso-75800-Combined-201580

On your inquiry path, I was a little confused because sometimes it would jump fromquestion to question without answering them, other than that it was informative andinteractive.

Show parent | Reply

Peer Review Forum (037)Links for Inquiry Path and Synthesis Paper

Kaltura Media Gallery

Optional subscriptionSubscribe to this forumUnsubscribe from this discussion