how peace and harmony start at home

8/8/2019 How Peace and Harmony Start at Home

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How Peace and Harmony Start at Home

We live in a world filled with challenges. We face adversity in the

workplace, the schoolyards, and our communities. We also frequently

become victims to personal challenges that live within us.

The peace and harmony we create in our homes mold the approach we will

take in our experiences outside the home. Unfortunately, conflict within

our homes does not stay there, but rather it travels with us wherever we go.

Like fleas on a dog, our inner conflict spills over onto our relationships, our

work environments, and anyone else we meet.

Parent(s) or caretakers in the home are responsible for creating a peacefulhome environment, as well as establishing the boundaries of acceptable

behavior. For example, if you model confrontation and strife to your child,

he in turn will model that behavior with others.

You cannot undo that which has already been done. You can, however, face

up to it and make the changes that need to be made.

If you scream, yell or curse at your partner, stop it! Demand that calm, fair,

and rational communication will be the sole method of communication in

your home. Opinions may vary, and indeed, you may disagree from time to

time, but angry confrontations must stop.

Stop making excuses. Yes, we all can have difficult moments. Kids can be

whiny and demanding, and teens can be bundles of raging hormones. This

should be more the exception than the norm. Do not model disrespect to

your children, and do not accept disrespect from them, not ever.

Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are greatly influenced by our

surroundings. Most negative influences in our lives are generated by

imbalanced home/work environment. De-stress and de-clutter your home

regularly. While many may discount this simplistic premise, at least try it

for a couple of weeks, and decide for yourself.


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it is important to strive to stay together as a family. Finding ways to share

common interests is important for any family. A parent that shares hobbies

with kids will continue to pave the way to a healthy relationship. Kids

naturally take a step back during teen years to spend more time with

friends. Parents of teenagers often make an extra effort to find ways to betogether as a family.

*Respectfulness

Teaching respect now solidifies this concept into adulthood. Each member

of the family deserves respect. Encouraging words of please and thank you

will provide further acts of kindness. Families that model a safe haven that

is free of name calling and insults will enhance the environment ofrespectfulness. This is a valuable lesson that is taught early on in life and

paves the way for later relationships. Demonstrating non violent actions

plays a vital role in maintaining a safe household. When parents get into

arguments they are showing children how to work out issues. Parents who

maturely discuss problems will be teaching their children to do the same.

Taking a step back if needed allows for time to cope with feelings before

having discussions. This helps kids to learn

A word well said, a smile, a helping hand will bring forth the unexpected,

will turn pain to bearable pain, hatred to love, discomfort to comfort, a cry

to a smile

It is very important to maintain peace and harmony in our homes. Our

homes should be where we most love to be, where we find peace, comfort

and joy. Nowadays divorce is on the rise due to lack of peace and harmony,

families, brothers and sisters are made to live apart and experience

immense hurt and pain that could accompany them all their lives.

The wife is seeking her own happiness, the husband likewise. Everybody

says me, me and only me, and how about me!'. The wife wants her husband

to change to make her happy, and the husband wants the wife to change to

make him happy. And when nothing of the sort happens, the wife concludes


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that her husband doesn't love her and thinks that everything he does, he

does to annoy her, or vise versa. They therefore start arguing in everything,

little be it or big, for what is worth and for not. This gives birth to anger and

an atmosphere of constant tension. Life becomes unbearable.

The kids meanwhile are watching in silence and suffering in silence. They

watch as one of their parents decides to leave home, to leave them, and

abandon them. They watch as their parents decide to divorce. They feel

helpless, deeply hurt and lonely, not loved and abandoned, let down by the

people they most loved and trusted. They lose their childhood innocence

and are forced to think and understand as adults!

The first thing to remember is that you got married in the first place and gottogether because you loved one another and you could not stay apart from

one another. You are for each other and not against each other. You

complete one another. A marriage is a joint entity, a joint venture which

needs to nurture and remain healthy. Both parties are actively responsible

to make it a success.

Effort and dedication is a must to achieve and maintain a healthy

relationship. Just like we dedicate our time and effort to our career life or

education; Relationships also require from us persistence to achieve what

we are set to achieve. This cannot just be. For example, one is not born as a

doctor, a philosopher, or a mathematician etc., but one should first grow

and mature, choose and decide what one wants to do, set themselves a

target and then work hard and carry on working hard for many years with

all the ups and downs of life, until they achieve their objective. They have

that target set in front of them and despite any hardships or obstacle, they

carry on happily.

Another thing is that I have to do it myself, I cannot ask somebody else to

do it for me, if I want to win the race, I have to do it myself, if I want to

become a doctor, I have to do it myself, somebody else cannot do it for me, I

cannot ask my friend to pass my exam for me! And so I cannot keep

blaming everybody else around me for my unhappiness!


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Effort and dedication is necessary, until that which we are set to achieve

becomes a natural part of our life just as when a skill is repeated mastered,

it then becomes an easy and natural thing to do, that doesn't need much

effort from us.

We have to train and practice every day, each day get a step closer to master

the attributes required to achieve happiness. If need be, repeat that which I

did not master well enough, even if I do not feel like doing it, I do it, as I

know it is for my own benefit and for those around me.

Change is therefore necessary. However, our energy and effort should not

be wasted trying to change others, but rather our energy should be wisely

used to change ourselves. Change is required from our part and not fromthe part of others. So start from today and have that smile on your face!

I mean a home environment is only as good as the quality of its residentsoutlook, and a home filled with peace and harmony usually produces well-adjusted contributors to society. Conversely, a home filled with dysfunctionusually produces dysfunctional people, and in turn, society and culturesuffer their wrath. The sensation of peace and harmony that begins at homemolds the approach individuals take in addressing life, relationships andpositive outlook on the Universe in general. To lack peace and harmony is

to be off balance emotionally, opening the door to a wide variety of personalissues.

Parents in the home are responsible for implementing measures that leadto a peaceful and harmonious lifestyle. As children are absorbent toeverything they encounter, a disturbed relationship between parental rolemodels will adversely affect the overall tranquility of the home. Theargumentative behavior of the adults becomes the norm, and the childrenfeel it is appropriate to emulate the parents actions. The disharmony growsfrom a singular relationship to the inner workings of the entire family unit.

The disharmony at home unfortunately does not remain there; it travelswith the family to wherever it arrives. Children act out in school; adultshave difficulty at work, and eventually the quality of relationships declinefor all. Without an expressed and unified effort, the home life becomes aliving hell of stressful interaction, with little respect or affection.


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However, a family unit that practices a peaceful and harmonious lifestyle athome is more prepared to engage the daily stressors of life and conquerthem in a victorious fashion. Children learn to control their emotions indifficult situations, and are more congenial in the ability to negotiateproblems to a positive conclusion. All family members are more at ease

within themselves, and therefore are more comfortable in dealing with andrespecting others.

To reiterate, parents set the tone for peace and harmony at home, as well assetting parameters for acceptable behavior. While leading by example isperhaps the best method to employ, a singular simple rule of the house canmake all the difference in obtaining peace and harmony. That rule is: Leave

your aggression and negativity at the door, or don't come in. This rule iscarved in stone, cannot be negotiated, reversed or altered to fit a particular

situation. Your family may not like it, but trust me, the rule will be followed.It gets awfully cold and dark outside at night.

In summary, leave your aggression and frustration at the door. Do not

bring it into your home and do not inflict it on others. Focus only on love

and peace within your safe place.

Your home truly is your castle, whether it is a mansion in Malibu or an igloo

in Alaska. Use your home as your sanctuary, a place to enjoy family, peace,

and reflection. I love my family.

Yours

Regards

Dr. Syed Hamid Hussain Naqvi SubzwariCentral Vice Chairman, NPCIH,

Ministry of Interior and Religious Affairs,

Government Islamic Republic of Pakistan

how peace and harmony start at home

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