How to apply

“Make it Happen”

to Personal Growth

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Deeper character knowledge can be obtained through therapy. But soon, we will also make available a character test, that will allow you to better understand how you have structured your particular emotional mind and what you need to work on in order to find more satisfaction in life. If you are on our email list, then we will let you know about it.

And so, in this part we will focus on the issue of taking back your power. Any time we complain about something, we have already given away our power. We choose to blame the outside world for our current misfortune. Although we may be quite astute in our observations of the causal forces as work, the indulgence in our grievance brings us no strength.

Quite the contrary. It reestablishes our position as victim of circumstance.

From that stance there is little we can do. And our efforts, if any, will often be geared towards trying to make others change. But ultimately we have very little power when it comes to changing others and quite a lot when it comes to changing ourselves.

Do you ever position yourself as a victim? See how you answer these questions:

Applying Make it Happen to Personal Growth

Personal growth is a large subject. It is about becoming a happier, more fulfilled and accomplished person on a psychological and spiritual level.

One key issue is taking back ones power and taking on the responsibility for ones life. Others involve a broader perspective of life, a deeper self-knowledge, wider sense of tolerance, compassion, and love for self and others.

- Do you ever complain? If so, when and about what usually?

- Do you ever blame others or circumstances (the weather, the traffic, the government, the bureaucracy)?

- Do you ever “explain” how circumstances made you do something you did not intend to?

If you have answered yes to any of these three categories, then that is great! Let me tell you why. All of those points are stances you have just identified where you now can get more power.

Step 1: Turn around your victim stories

Choose one of your victim stories. It can be something that actually happened to you at some point, where you felt like a victim, or something you constantly complain about.

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Start by telling this victim story out loud, as it you were sharing it with someone in a conversation. As you tell your story, pay close attention to how you feel. This will be crucial for your future work on victimhood. You need to be able to identify, in your body, how you feel when you feel powerless. Exactly what happens? Do you feel drained of energy, a surge of energy, heaviness in your chest, anger, part of your body tingling, your head warming? What happens to you?

Write down your bodily reactions to powerlessness and victimhood.

Now, take the same story and tell it from an empowered perspective. Do not change the story, but do change the way you tell it and possibly add how you can react in an empowered way.

Here is an example. Say your victim story was that you were standing in line and people kept cutting in line in front of you and then they closed the place before you got to the ticket window.

From an empowered perspective you might say that you got the opportunity to study human psychology up close, and really appreciated the gift that your Buddhist Parami practice brings. And this really inspired you to practice more. Also you learned not to schedule these activities close to closing hour. In fact, it was one of the most helpful things that happened that day.

then that is fine. Feel that. But then, let your thoughts go to a broader perspective. And do not take the offenses personally. Whatever offense comes at you has much more to do with the aggressor than with you. Ask yourself what the opposite is and focus on how you can achieve that.

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If you learn to quickly use whatever “bad” thing is happening as a trampoline that points to and catapults you in the direction of something that you really want, then the victim moments will be your cherished treasures.

So, rude people will automatically bring you the consciousness of what a gift it is to others to be polite and you will be catapulted into action that increases that quality.

The key in the moment is to not deny whatever you feel. If your first reaction is to become angry,

The more you practice this, the easier it will be to automatically go into the positive space. Soon curiosity and creativity will be your companions in seeing how you can use a given situation.

For small things this becomes easy and a game. For larger and more important events, you will still need to go through the negative emotions. It is worse if you try to deny them and go straight to the positive ones. Usually you will still be negating some of them, which is the opposite of the purpose. The purpose is to internally align yourself with the empowered state.

Step 2: Check how you feel

Now that you have identified how you feel when you are in a powerless state you can use this.

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Start paying more attention to how you feel on a daily basis. Check in, in the middle of a conversation, while you are doing some chores, while you are waiting in line somewhere, while you are driving, etc.

Make regular feeling check-ins a habit. Pay attention to how you feel. Often you will notice that you are more tense than you need to be. And so, you can choose to relax your muscles.

But pay especially close attention to the feelings of powerlessness, the ones you noted down in step 1. They will be your warning signs that you are starting to give away your power.

As soon as you identify the feelings of powerlessness analyze the situation. How are you giving away your power? What is it you dislike? What is the opposite of it? How can you focus on augmenting the positive?

Step 3: Use emotional trailers

Pick one of the more disempowering experiences or habits you have. Find what it catapults you into and create an emotional trailer around that.

For instance, if you always find yourself talking about how the government is corrupt and only led by those who pay the most, then you can create an emotional trailer around the opposite of that. Experience what it would be like to have a system where we do not have to put trust into governments but we have a compassionate system that works with mathematical precision and is created so that it provides awesome benefits to all.

If you are always complaining about your boss being unfair, then imagine what it would be like to have a perfect boss who acts in an ethical manner, is generous, and ignites creativity in all the workers.

You get the picture.

Then, make sure you enjoy your emotional trailer daily. Change it, once it becomes natural, a first impulse to think about the matter in the way you portray it in your trailer.

Step 4: Meditate

Meditation will, over time, automatically provide you with a wider perspective of any given situation. You will find that you have time before you react to situations. And in that time you can choose how you want to respond to the situation. You will be able to choose the empowered response.

This will reduce the number of times you have to go through anger, sadness, depression, and other negative feelings that may come up as automatic reactions.

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Step 5: Find people with empowered views

Pay attention to your friends and the people you surround yourself with. Are they mostly complaining and talking about suffering or are they mostly talking and acting from an empowered position? See if you can spend more time with people who are empowering.

If you have a hard time finding them around you, look online and in books.

The view you choose to have of things, events, and people around is what is going to make all the difference.

It will help you find and experience the beauty and magic in life. People who have already found this perspective will be of great value to you. Find them, and spend some time with them on a daily basis