how to be a bully free school
DESCRIPTION
By: Susan Delahunt, LMHC and Priscilla Picardi-Haswell, LICSW, School Adjustment Counselors Waltham Public SchoolsTRANSCRIPT
How To Be a Bully Free School
By: Susan Delahunt, LMHC and Priscilla Picardi-Haswell, LICSW, School Adjustment Counselors
Waltham Public Schools
What is Bullying
• What is the definition of a bully?
• Where does it happen?
• Who bullies?• How do kids bully?
What is Bullying/Relational Aggression?
• Definition:
Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal or physical threats, or manipulating relationships.
Bullying is not done in fun. It is mean-spirited and cruel and it’s meant to hurt.
Bullying is Not a One Time Event
• Bullying is repeated acts of verbal or physical threats.
• Bullying is repeated acts of excluding, ignoring, non-verbal aggression.
• Bullying is repeated acts of using the internet, texting, cell phones, etc to hurt someone’s feelings.
Three types of bullying
• Physical bullying
• Verbal bullying
• Relational bullying
Methods of Bullying
• Excluding
• Ignoring
• Spreading rumors
• Verbal insults
• Teasing
• Eye rolling
• Faking friendship
• 3 way calling, IMing
Where Does Bullying Happen?
• It can happen anywhere in school but happens most often in:
• Recess• Hallways• Bathrooms• School buses• Changing classes• Cafeteria• During class group work
Rumors/Gossip
• What are rumors?• Why do kids spread
rumors?• What is powerful
about rumors?• What is hurtful about
rumors?• How can you stop
rumors?
Who’s A Bully?
• Bullies come in all shapes and sizes
• Some get in trouble
• Some are popular kids with lots of friends
• They are good students
Why do bullies bully?Bullies feel insecure or bad about themselves, so they bully to make
themselves feel better.
Causes are:• Problems at home or school• Role models who bully and get what they want by pushing others
around• The person may be a target of bullying • Never learned another way to behave• Exposure to violence in movies, TV and video games.• Wanting to belong
Cyberbullying
• Using the Internet or other mobile devices to send or post harmful or cruel text or images to bully others.
• IM’s, chat rooms, web pages,blogs,emails, texts or digital imaging sent on cell phones
Cyberbullying Facts
• 18% of students in grades 6-8 report having been cyber-bullied
• 58% of cyber bullying is done through IM
• 28% is done in chat rooms
• 20% of bullying is done through websites
• Girls are twice as likely as boys to be victims and perpetrators of cyber-bullying
AIM,Facebook, My Space,etc
• Some words of caution
How Can We Stop It?
Are you a bully?
• Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things?
• Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way?
• Do you feel like you have to make up for having been bullied by doing the same to others?
• Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them?
How can you stop being a bully?
• Apologize to people you’ve bullied and follow-up by being friendly towards them.
• If your having a hard time feeling good about yourself, find ways to boost your self-esteem.
• If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling you feelings, especially anger, talk to an adult you trust.
What Can I Do to Stop Bullying?
• Refuse to be an audience for a bully
• Do not “follow the crowd”
• Do not laugh while someone is being picked on
• Do not participate in gossip
• Do not use the internet to hurt someone
• Walk away and go get help
• Know your own personal strength
Who is a target?
• Research shows that about 25% ( 1 out of 4 kids) of children experience bullying
• Kids who tend to be physically different
• Kids with disabilities
• Kids who upset easily
• Kids who don’t have a lot of friends
• Kids who lack self confidence or look like they don’t have self confidence
If You Are a Target:
• Ignore the bully• Pretend you don’t
hear him/her• Don’t cry, get angry or
show you are upset.• Respond firmly.• If you can, turn a
comment into a joke.• Remove yourself from
the situation.
Do Not Be the Messenger
• Do not deliver messages from one person to another
• Do not be the “go-between” between two people in an argument
Reminder:
• If you are ever threatened with physical violence, get adult help immediately.
How Bystanders Can Help
• Walk away • Don’t give attention to
the bully• Privately tell the
person who was bullied you are sorry it happened.
• Ask the bully to stop.• Get adult help.
Hallway Heroes
• Statistics show that if just one person asks the bully to stop, they will stop 50% of the time.
Why Tell?
• Without cooperation between kids and grown-ups bullying can become a big problem that doesn’t get better.
Why Tell?
• Adults can often confront the bully without naming you.
Why Tell?
• Adults and kids working together is the best way to stop bullying.
• Remember, you are reporting a dangerous act. You are not “tattling.”
REMEMBER:
• NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED BADLY.
• NO ONE.
VIDEO
• Courtesy of The Spirit Desk
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• Music by: Simple Plan, “Welcome to My Life” Courtesy of Atlantic Records
RESOURCES
• The statistics in this presentation come from the “Mean Girls” workbook published by Youthlight, Inc.
• The Waltham Public Schools Website offers many websites for parents and children on bullying. One for children is: “Kids Against Bullying” from the National Center for Bullying Prevention.