how to ensure your web project is a complete failure

How to Ensure Your Web Projectis a

Complete and Total Failurebrought to you by

Aaron Welch

and

How to ensure your web project is a complete and total failureAaron Welch – [email protected]

Warning: the following presentation is ironic

It is intended to help you avoid repeating the mistakes that we have seen clients make over the years. Obviously, vendors are also on the hook for making mistakes and doing things that put projects at risk. Hopefully this presentation will help clients be better clients while we all strive to be better vendors on our end.


Rule #1: Set your launch date before determining scope, budget or production schedule

(bonus! Plan and announce a high profile event that coincides with this date - a gala for example, anything that will be sure

to embarrass you and waste a lot of money if the launch slips)

Section 1: Deadlines


Rule #2: Start late. For example, for a 6-8 month project timeline, don't start looking for a vendor

until a few months out from launch

(Be sure to lead with this information, vendors *love* working under pressure and will generally give you a price break.)



Rule #3: Once you've set the launch date and any other important milestones related to the project, DO NOT COMMUNICATE THEM TO OTHERS!

(Wait until a week or so beforehand and then send an all-caps email to everyone working on the project about the looming deadline, sure to make heads explode. Perfect!)



Rule #4: If all else fails, move the launch deadline in the last few weeks of a project.

(If the vendor points out something in your agreement to the contrary, tell them you remember discussing this early on on

a phone call and are not sure why they don't remember.)



Rule #1: Do not get help doing requirements gathering to get a budget range. Instead, guess!

(Even better, do all the technical planning yourself, decide how much it is worth, then send out an RFP with a fixed cost.)

Section 2: The Budget


Rule #2: Lowest bidder wins. Always.

(Seriously, all vendors basically outsource to India anyhow.)



Rule #3: DO NOT SHARE YOUR BUDGET

(If vendors know how much you have to spend, then they'll be able to make recommendations that fit that range!)



Rule #4: Do not set aside a budget for additional features, post-launch support, or training.

(These services should always be included, but not explicitly outlined in any contract. Vendors assume this is part of any

scope of work, it's like tipping – rude to discuss outright.)



Rule #5: Hosting is cheap, the cheaper the better!

($30/mo is more than enough for pretty much any site.Bonus: just ignore hosting until a few days before launch!)



Rule #1: Do not select a project lead internally

(Even better, select one who has no experience running similar projects. Bonus: ensure they have another, totally

unrelated full-time job – this project should be a side thing)

Section 3: Project Management


Rule #2: Do not get sign-off from internal stakeholders as decisions are made

(They are super busy, just show them everything at the end when it's all done and get feedback then.)



Rule #3: Rely on your vendor to handle internal communications and decision making

(That's why you are paying for all that “project management” time, which is sort of b.s. anyway. Get your money's worth!)



Rule #4: Do not read anything

(Contracts, technical plans, meeting minutes – all busy work designed to pass the buck along to you, don't stand for it!)



Rule #1: Pay late and demand the unreasonable

(See how long it takes your vendor to bring up the invoices that are due, and when they do ask about pushing the project team to work weekends and evenings – just see if they will!)

Section 4: Vendor Relations


Rule #2: Talk about your ex

(Any time you can work into the conversation how much cheaper and/or better the other vendors you talked to were

will ensure the one you have works hard to keep you happy!)



Rule #3: Divide and conquer

(Play team members and management against each other by sending email directly to them and not keeping everyone on

the team in the loop. Eventually, you will get free work out of it as they eat each other alive!)



Rule #4: Communications

(Do not read any email, there will be too many, and they are too technical anyway. If you need an update, send an ALL

CAPS EMAIL TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK)



Comments or Questions?

Yay! There is:

www.advomatic.comtwitter.com/advomatic

how to ensure your web project is a complete failure

Business