how to learn more from every mediation
DESCRIPTION
How to Learn More From Every Mediation. Zeke Reich ADR Specialist [email protected] May 9, 2012. How to Learn More. “Try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost!” -Henry James. “Deliberate practice”. Research on expert musicians and athletes: - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
How to Learn More
“Try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost!”
-Henry James
2
“Deliberate practice”
• Research on expert musicians and athletes: Expertise comes not just from the number of hours you practice, but how you deliberately challenge yourself to get better (Ericsson 2006)
• “Only perfect practice makes perfect.” – Vince Lombardi
3
Deliberate Mediation Practice
• Before the mediation
• During the mediation
• After the mediation
4
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
5
Critical Event
A moment when…
the mood suddenly improved?
one of the parties got angry?
your co-mediator gave you a puzzled look?
something unexpected happened?
you felt surprised?
6
Zeke’s Critical Event
7
Bob threatens
to walk out
Alan Bob
Zeke
!!!!
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
8
Interaction (Mediation Session, etc)
Someone says/does something
Someone says/does something
Someone says/does something
Someone says/does something
……
9
Zeke’s Critical Event in Context
Zeke said, “Just checking
the box?”
Alan said “Yes”
Bob threatened to walk out
Zeke was surprised
……
Critical event
10
Zeke’s “Move”
A “Move”
11
Zeke said, “Just checking
the box?”
Zeke’s “Move”
A “move” is an action (something said or done) in order to reach a goal.
It can also be called an action with an intention.
I want to be friendly
Intentions
12
Intentions can be either conscious or implicit.
Specific intentions fit into our larger models of
how to act.
“Hi, Rob!”
“I should be a nice person.”
Zeke’s Critical Event in Context
Zeke said, “Just checking
the box?”
Alan said “Yes”
Bob threatened to walk out
Zeke was surprised
……
Critical event
13
Zeke’s “Move”
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
3. Map the move.• What impact did it have?
14
Mapping the Move: Impact
Zeke said, “Just checking
the box?”
Alan said “Yes”
Bob threatened to walk out
Zeke was surprised
……
Critical event
15
Zeke’s “Move”
Mapping the Move: Impact
Zeke said, “Just checking
the box?”
Alan said “Yes”
Bob threatened to walk out
B thought, “A doesn’t
care!”
Bob heard Zeke &
Alan
16
Zeke’s “Move”
The impact of the move
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
3. Map the move.• What impact did it have?• What were the intention(s) behind it?
17
Empathy
Being liked
Mapping the Move: Intentions
18
Zeke said, “Just checking
the box?”
Zeke’s “Move”
Alan said, “This won’t be helpful!”
Zeke wanted to build
rapport with A
Zeke trying to make Alan like
him
Zeke didn’t want to
alienate BobImpartiality
Mapping the Move
19
Being liked
Zeke said, “Just
checking the box?”
Zeke’s “Move”
Alan said, “This won’t
be helpful!”
Zeke wanted to
build rapport with A
Zeke trying to make Alan like
him
Zeke didn’t want to
alienate BobImpartiality
Bob threaten
ed to walk out
B thought, “A doesn’t
care!”
Bob heard
Zeke & Alan
Critical event
EmpathyAlan said “Yes”
Values Intentions Actions Impact
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
3. Map the move.• What impact did it have?• What were the intention(s) behind it?
4. Assess the move.• Did its impact match the intentions behind it?
20
Did impact match intention?
21
Being liked
Zeke said, “Just
checking the box?”
Zeke’s “Move”
Alan said, “This won’t
be helpful!”
Zeke wanted to
build rapport with A
Zeke trying to make Alan like
him
Zeke didn’t want to
alienate BobImpartiality
Bob threaten
ed to walk out
B thought, “A doesn’t
care!”
Bob heard
Zeke & Alan
Critical event
EmpathyAlan said “Yes”
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
3. Map the move.• What impact did it have?• What were the intention(s) behind it?
4. Assess the move.• Did its impact match the intentions behind it?• Am I satisfied with the intentions and models behind it?
22
Satisfied with intentions/models?
23
Being liked
Zeke said, “Just
checking the box?”
Zeke’s “Move”
Alan said, “This won’t
be helpful!”
Zeke wanted to
build rapport with A
Zeke trying to make Alan like
him
Zeke didn’t want to
alienate BobImpartiality
Bob threaten
ed to walk out
B thought, “A doesn’t
care!”
Bob heard
Zeke & Alan
Critical event
EmpathyAlan said “Yes”
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
3. Map the move.• What impact did it have?• What were the intention(s) behind it?
4. Assess the move.• Did its impact match the intentions behind it?• Am I satisfied with the intentions and models behind it?
5. Make instructions for next time.
24
Instructions to Myself
The next time…
I’m trying to build rapport with a disengaged party but also want the other party to stay present:
I will stick more closely to the parties’ words when I paraphrase.
I start a mediation: I will make more small talk early on rather than try
to empathize with a disengaged party.
I feel myself acting in order to “make a party like me:” I will try to catch myself and stop acting that way!
25
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
3. Map the move.• What impact did it have?• What were the intention(s) behind it?
4. Assess the move.• Did its impact match the intentions behind it?• Am I satisfied with the intentions and models behind it?
5. Make instructions for next time.
26
Deliberate Mediation Practice
• Before the mediationo Remember the instructions you gave yourself last timeo Think about your overall model and values
• During the mediationo Closely observe everything
• After the mediationo Reflect
27
After the mediation1. Choose a critical event to focus on.
2. Find a “move” you made that led to that event.
3. Map the move.• What impact did it have?• What were the intention(s) behind it?
4. Assess the move.• Did its impact match the intentions behind it?• Am I satisfied with the intentions and models behind it?
5. Make instructions for next time.
28
Further Reading
• Argyris & Schön (1974), Theory in Practice• Ericsson (2006), “The Influence of Experience and Deliberate Practice…”
in The Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance• Kressel (2006), “Mediation Revisited,” in The Handbook of Conflict
Resolution• Lang & Taylor (2000), The Making of a Mediator• Marsick et al (2006), “Learning Through Reflection,” in The Handbook of
Conflict Resolution• Morrissette (2001), Self-Supervision• Patton (1985), On Teaching Negotiation• Peppet and Moffitt (2006), “Learning How to Learn to Negotiate,” in The
Negotiator’s Fieldbook• Schön (1983), The Reflective Practitioner
29
Questions?
30
