Today, I was having a coffee at my favorite coffee house while working on

an essay that I'm supposed to finish and hand in by tomorrow morning.

Anyway, I took a sip and felt something in my mouth. I figured it must be a

bit of a cookie that I'd had for breakfast so I didn't worry about it at first.

Then I remembered I didn't have cookies this morning. I reached in and

took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be a huge black fly. I screamed and

threw it away as far as I could. It flew across the room and landed on the

plate of this big bald tough-looking guy. He stood up and looked at me as if

he was going to kill me. His wife

had to hold him and keep him

from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm

kind of clumsy so in the process I

also spit coffee all over my open

laptop and knocked over the cup,

spilling the rest of the coffee on

the floor. I could see the

customers mumbling to each

other, shaking their heads and

calling me a loser. The waiter

wasn't too happy either. Even

though I apologized to him repeatedly for making him mop the floor and

gave him a nice tip, I don't think I'll be welcome there for a while. Oh, and

did I mention that my laptop died and all my files got wiped out, including

the essay I was working on? And that I got an F as a result? Some days just

aren't worth getting out of bed for.

Jak učitangličtinu

pomocíkrátkých

příběhů

I like to teach English by telling stories. I mean, I do

way more than just tell stories, but you get the idea.

Some stories I write myself, most I come across when

I least expect it. Either way, I take a lot of pride in all

of them. My students seem to enjoy learning from

them, too.

Now, make no mistake, finding good stories and

whipping them into shape is not easy. No siree.

There's not that many good stories out there and

those that you do dig up still need a lot of work before

they become presentable. So it's a challenge,

definitely. But it is so worth it.

Maybe you have tried using stories in your classes,

and it backfired for some reason or another.

Maybe you can't seem to work up the nerve to start

using stories, even though you've been meaning to,

like, for ever.

Maybe it has never occurred to you to use stories and

now you're like, huh.

Maybe you think your students would not take kindly

to the idea.

Maybe you simply think it's a stupid thing to do.

And maybe you're right.

But maybe not.

THE STORYJe známá věc, že studenti na příběhy slyší. (Obvykle tedy jen na určité, akčně laděné, typy příběhů, to ale zatím ponechme bokem.) Předložíme-li tedy studentům sérii poutavých příběhů, mohli bychom od nich očekávat alespoň minimální snahu z nich něco málo pobrat. The ball's in their court, jinými slovy.

Na následujících stránkách se pokusím ilustrovat, jaké typy příběhů používám ve svých hodinách já a jak konkrétně s nimi pracuju. Jako vzor jsem vybral krátkou skicu A Huge Black Fly. Jde o jednoduchoučký příběh, v němž se na vypravěče v průběhu několika vteřin sesype několik pohrom s více či méně dlouhodobými následky.

Today, I was having a coffee at my favorite coffeehouse while working on an essay that I'm supposed to finish and hand in by tomorrow morning. Anyway, I took a sip and felt something in my mouth. I figured it must be a bitof a cookie that I'd had for breakfast so I didn't worry about it at first. Then I remembered I didn't have cookies this morning.

I reached in and took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be a huge black fly. I screamed and threw it away as far as I could. It flew across the room and landed on the plate of this big bald tough-looking guy. He stood up and looked at me as if he was going to kill me. His wife had to hold him and keep him from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm kind of clumsy so in the process I also spit coffee all over my open laptop and knocked over the cup, spilling the rest of the coffee on the floor. I could see the customers mumbling to each other, shaking their heads and calling me a loser.

The waiter wasn't too happy either. Even thoughI apologized to him repeatedly for making him mop the floor and gave him a nice tip, I don't think I'll be welcome there for a while. Oh, and did I mention that my laptop died and all my files got wiped out, including the essay I was working on? And that I got an F as a result? Some days just aren't worth getting out of bed for.

* Příběh A Huge Black Fly lze dle mého soudu použít pro jakoukoli věkovou skupinu. Neobsahuje obskurní reálie ani kulturní reference, nenajdeme v něm žádné vulgarity a s popisovanými trablemi nebude nikomu zatěžko se ztotožnit. (Původní verze z webu My Life Sucks se skládala z dvou až tří vět, dovolil jsem si ji upravit a výrazně nafouknout.)

Můj prvotní záměr byl (a je) předložit příběh 12-15letým žákům běžné, tedy nevýběrové, základní školy, případně jakékoli střední školy. Do jaké míry jetato představa naivní, nedokážu posoudit. Standardyvýuky angličtiny v Česku jsou ovšem natolik nízké, že jejich nabourání z jakékoli strany bude myslím k dobru věci.

* Úplně původně jsem plánoval sestavit klasickou Students' Book, kterou by sebou studenti nosili a pracovali s ní v hodinách (vedle ní by samozřejmě existovala komplementární Teacher's Book pro vyučující). To by ale u práce s příběhy šlo těžko, už jen proto, že u nich důležitou roli hraje prvek překvapení a fáze práce, kdy studenti znají text pouze z vyprávění.

NOW WHAT?

So you got yourself a nice little story (hint: look right)that you think might go over well in class. What do you do next? Well, there are basically two things that need to be done:

1. You need to know exactly how you are going to use the story. What's the sequenceof activities that'll work best? How do you keep your students from getting bored with the story? Good news is, once you figure it out, the same process can then be applied to pretty much any story. (Warning: Figuring it out may take months, if not years of trial anderror.)

2. There's some worksheets to prepare. Oh boy.

So... any questions?

Yes, one. Why do you keep switching between Czech and English here?

That's a good question. And the answer is, I don't really know. Everything sounds better in English, doesn't it? Then again, my original intention was to write all of this in Czech. Turns out I just can't help myself. I'm sorry if this is too much of an inconvenience. But hey, you teach English for a living. If anything, you should appreciate this.

THE PROCESSKaždý text je třeba předpřipravit ze dvou stran:

a) přichystat samotné pracovní listy, s nimiž se bude v hodinách pracovat; to

vyžaduje hodně práce, u každého příběhu začínáte odznova, a v první fázi je to boj;

postupem času jde nicméně tato práce čím dál líp od ruky

* více v oddílu worksheets

b) mít rozmyšlený samotný proces - tedy posloupnost aktivit - rozprostřený do cca

3-4 hodin * výhoda procesu, oproti worksheets, tkví v tom, že jakmile jej jednou doladíte

podle svých představ, můžete jej aplikovat na všechny následující příběhy

1. INTRO + VOCAB

• INTRODUCE the story (without giving away the ending or the best parts); just DROP it

into your hey-there-good-to-see-you-again speech and let them catch up

• explain the vocabulary by DEFINING all of it in ENGLISH (keep explaining each phrase

until most students NOD their heads, then have them guess the correct translation)

2. CONV. INTRO + VOCAB

• students RECALL the intro and define the vocabulary using REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES

and complete, well-constructed sentences (as opposed to the usual primitive "bald is

without hair / take a sip is drinking a little bit" style); all the work is done in PAIRS (this

applies to every conversation-style activity)

3. TELL STORY

• just TELL the story as if it has just occurred to you

• don't read from paper, try to keep it REAL and NATURAL

• feel free to GESTICULATE to illustrate hard-to-grasp vocab (hand in / reach / threw etc.)

• also feel free to REPEAT yourself or OVEREXPLAIN where either is called for

• don't worry about SKIPPING or leaving stuff out, there will be plenty of opportunities to

catch up on it later (such as inquire/recall)

4. CONV. PUT THE STORY TOGETHER

• your students' FIRST attempt at recounting the story based on what they've just heard

• of course there will be GAPS and CONFUSION, that's par for the course at this point—

there's no need for students to throw up their hands in despair, it's all part of the game,

make sure they are aware of that

5. INQUIRE

• ask questions to make sure that EVERYONE knows the WHOLE story—little things and

DETAILS matter, too, in fact they often carry the best bits of English

• it's fun to use a different PERSPECTIVE (the bald guy, the waiter, the fly) to catch the

students off guard, thereby drawing them in and keeping them on their toes

6. CONV. SPIN-OFF

• IMPROVIZED conversations loosely based on the story

• make it clear that there are to be NO EXCUSES (such as "I can't think of anything else to

say" / we have said everything there is to say"; out of ideas, you say? then how come you

never shut up when you're supposed to be quiet?)

• the WEIRDER the conversation, the better—as long as it's conducted in good English

7. FILL-IN / BLOW-UP / POINT-OUT

• hand out the (A) version of the fill-in exercise and make your way through it one gap at a

time, stopping to EXPLAIN why this particular word makes a good fit rather than the other

one that everyone liked better (then hand out or email the B-version as homework)

• alternatively, pick a bunch of GRAMMAR POINTS and explain the crap out of them

• or you can just TEST the class on the best bits quickly and collectively (POINT OUT)

8. CONV. POV (FUTURE / QUESTIONS ETC.)

• more discussions from various PERSPECTIVES, or QUESTION-based conversations

• there's a lot of examples in the CONVERSATIONS appendix, be sure to check them out

(TIP) KICK-OFF LINES: Pro každý konverzační set-up si připravte strhující opening line, kterou jeden ze studentů rozhovor zahájí. Danou větu těsně před zahájením konverzace třídě předneste, načež ji jeden ze studentů ve dvojici zopakuje a tím se konverzace rozbíhá. Tento krok je přínosný hned ve dvou ohledech. 1) Student, který úvodní větu zopakuje, je rád, že nemusí nic vymýšlet, tudíž je o ni docela rvačka - druhý pak musí promptně reagovat, protože by jinak byl za blbce - a už se vezou; 2) vyhnete se otravné pasáži jinak předcházející každému rozhovoru: "tak kdo chceš být mně je to jedno mně taky tak já nevím já taky ne tak já budu třeba ten policajt tak dobře jábud ten druhý tak něco řekni ale já nevím co já taky ne"

NÁSLEDUJÍCÍ HODINYKaždý příběh je dobré rozprostřít do několika hodin. Učitel zde ovšem našlapuje po velmi tenkém laně. Na jedné straně je třeba, aby se nejpodstatnější obraty studentům opakovaně připomínaly a aby tito měli dost příležitostí je použít. Na straně druhé, počáteční frisson z nového příběhu nevyhnutelně brzy vyšumí a studenti budou mít méně a méně chuti se k němu vracet. Je tedy nutné variovat, přicházet se zajímavými aktivitami, a pomalu utahovat šrouby.

Sám za jednu dvouhodinovku taktak stihnu probrat vše, co si připravím. (Respektive to nestihnu nikdy.) Nedělám si proto žádné iluze o tom, kolik se toho dá zvládnout v průběhu klasické 45-min hodiny. U dvouhodinovek má člověk čas věnovat se simultánně několika příběhům, každému v jiné fázi: během jedné hodiny tudíž můžete uvést nový příběh, připomenout příběh uvedené v hodině minulé a ještě jednou se vrátit k příběhu zpřed dvou hodin. Vedle toho je čas na testy, vysvětlování gramatiky a konverzace.

Tyto možnosti 45-minutovka bohužel nenabízí. Pokud se tři po sobě jdoucí hodiny důkladně věnujete jednomujedinému příběhu, je na místě obava, že vůči němu studenti otupí a bude čím dál těžší udržet si jejich pozornost. Doporučoval bych proto aktivity vztahující se k příběhu prokládat zcela nesouvisejícími činnostmi, kdyby jen pro osvěžení atmosféry.

HODINA DRUHÁ, NÁVRAT1. RECALL 2. POINT OUT 3. CONVERSATION

RECALL: Není od věci si příběh hned zkraje druhé hodiny ještě jednou připomenout (ie. inquiry, akorát

zase z jiné perspektivy, protože proč ne); jinak hrozí, že absentéři z minulé hodiny budou mimo, a tedy

rušivým prvkem; celkově pak platí, že všichni studenti budou rádi za krátké připomenutí

POINT-OUT: Někdy v průběhu hodiny přijde řada na důkladnější připomínku nejpodstatnějších obratů

– ty jen krátce nadhazujte, v namátkovém pořadí, a třída kolektivně překládá. Vůbec nezaškodí do vět

vložit i jiné, dříve probrané, jevy (viz 'had better' v prvním příkladu). Není nutné překládat celé věty,

studenti rychle odtuší, který úsek je podstatný

jak byste řekli: ne abys to rozlil --> spill! ... nejdřív jsem to nechápal --> at first! ... přestože jsem byl

poslední --> even though! ... nikdo tě nenutil tam chodit --> make you go! ...

Dejte pozor, aby si nejpokročilejší studenti neuzurpovali všechny překlady pro sebe. Pokud tomu nelze

zamezit, dejte alespoň slabším jedincům čas vše vstřebat. Připomínejte studentům, že se musí ptát na

věci, které jim nedávají smysl, i kdyby byli ve třídě jediní.

CONV.: využít MUST-USE sheet? dát improvizovaný dialog? zapojit marťana? možnosti tu jsou

HODINA TŘETÍ1. POINT OUT INDIVIDUALLY 2. CONVERSATION

POINT-OUT: Využijte stejných obratů jako v kolektivním point-outu z minulé hodiny, tentokrát ale

běžte od studenta ke studentovi a každému zadejte jeden či více obratů na bleskový překlad (adekvátně

jejich úrovni, buďte milosrdní). Vědomí, že budou pravidelně a nevyhnutelně vyvoláváni před celou

třídou by mohlo některé jednotlivce dohnat k extrémním krokům, například tomu, že by se začali učit.

CONV: hádka mezi mouchou a číšníkem? dvě vědmy? pohřební řeč? podmínkové věty? televizní interview?

So far I have been a little heavy on the theory and light on the practice. Let me remedy that.

INTRO

Here's one way you can open the class * there's a different take in the EXTRAS appendix

So... you know how sometimes you're having a drink or just sipping soda or something ... and

suddenly you feel like something's wrong ... like, there was something in that drink that you

swallowed and now it's in your mouth ... and it could be something totally harmless such as a

piece of food ... but it could also be something else, like a fly or a spider ... so anyway, earlier

today I was having a coffee and something like this happened to me ... let me tell you about it,

but first let's take a look at some vocabulary that you are going to need:

VOCAB

take a sip ... there are several kinds of drinking ... when you're really thirsty, after playing

some sports maybe, and you get a beer, you just knock it back quickly ... but if you're having a

quiet evening with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, you just take little sips, because that's

how those drinks are supposed to be taken * česky ani ne tak "usrkávat / srkat" jako spíše

"popíjet / trochu se napít"

reach ... so you're at a store, ok ... and you ask to pay with a credit card ... and you're told that

they don't actually take credit cards ... and you need to pay cash ... you remember that you

had put some bills or coins in one of your pants pockets earlier ... so you reach into your right

pocket first to see if that's where the money is... ok, now you get it

bald ... at a certain point in our lives, we all have full heads of hair, like in our teens or

twenties ... then later some of that hair starts falling out, that's especially true with men ...

and sometimes all of it falls out and then that person becomes bald ... right, that's pretty

obvious, huh ... anyway, some guys are ashamed of being bald and they try to hide it, but

frankly, it's nothing to be ashamed of, in fact it looks kind of cool

+ beat the hell out of sb clumsy knock over

spill mumble mop tip wipe st out

STORY

And here's how you can launch the story itself later on. Once again: no preparation, no

introduction, just plop it in:

So I'm sitting at this café, right. I love coming here. It's quiet and everyone just minds

their own business and the waiters are really nice. And I love the coffee, too. But this time

I'm not here to enjoy my coffee. This time I'm here to work. I have a laptop with me and

I'm typing on it. The reason I'm working is that I have an essay to finish and the essay

needs to be handed in by tomorrow morning and if I don't finish it today I'll be in big

trouble. So I'm typing and sipping coffee and suddenly I feel like there's something in my

mouth and I figure...

INQUIRY / RECALL

OPTION 1: GUY (PAST) So I was having dinner with my wife, and we were having a good

time... let me ask you this: what do I look like? (You are bald and tough-looking.) ---

OPTION 2: THE FLY (FUTURE) So... whose plate am I going to land on? (Some guy's.)

All right. Is he going to be happy to see me? (No.) How come? (Because you're a fly.) What's

the big deal? (People don't like to see flies in their food.) Why is that? ---

OPTION 2: THE WAITER (PRESENT) So... I have just finished mopping the floor,

which I generally hate doing, and I'm glad I got it done. Now I won't have to do it again until

tomorrow... Right? Right? (No.) What do you mean, no? (You will have to mop again.) You

have got to be kidding me. What's going to happen? ---

OPTION 1 *EXTENDED VERSION* So I'm having dinner with my wife, right, and

we're having a good time... by the way, what do I look like? (You are bald and tough-

looking.) Right. So suddenly something lands on my plate, something that doesn't belong

there. What is it? (Fly.) A fly. (A fly.) Ok. And it didn't just drop out of thin air. Someone

threw it. Who was it? (Some man.) A guy. (Yes, a guy.) So I have a bit of a temper, right,

meaning I get upset easily. And this definitely pissed me off. Right? (Right.) Ok. So did I kill

the guy? (No.) What stopped me? (Your wife.) If she hadn't been there, would I have killed

the guy? (Maybe.) Oh, I absolutely would have. Anyway, ...

CONVERSATIONS

This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. You need to come up with ways for students to recount the story repeatedly without losing interest. In other words, you need to be very very creative. In yet other words, you got your work cut out for you. Lucky for you, I got one or two tricks up my sleeve that I'm wiling to share with you.

OSOBYpostavy, z jejichž perspektivy lze příběh vyprávět:

• VYPRAVĚČ, pochopitelně• NEZÚČASTNĚNÝ POZOROVATEL, popisuje děj zvenčí• (zde) MOUCHA, protože proč ne• (zde) BALD GUY / HIS WIFE / WAITER, při troše představivosti

ČASOVÝ RÁMEC• MINULOST, nejčastější, nejpřirozenější, nejprofláklejší • BUDOUCNOST, z pohledu člověka, který ví/tuší, k čemu dojde• PŘÍTOMNOST, popis aktuálně probíhajícího děje, včetně predikcí

KOMBINACE *PŘÍKLADYYOU AND I, ideální typ vyprávění, kdy se oba studenti doplňujíTV MODERÁTOR – NEZÚČASTNĚNÝ P., nácvik otázekVĚDMA – MATKA VYPRAVĚČE, konverzace o budoucnostiMOUCHA – ČÍŠNÍK, in medias res

Podrobný výčet všech možných kombinací, permutací, perspektiv a konverzačních stylů najdete v příloze– doporučuju nahlédnout.

NEDĚJOVÉ VYPRÁVĚNÍ, KONVERZAČNÍ DOVEDNOSTI

Nejen dějem živ je člověk: většina každodenních konverzací se točí kolem návrhů,postřehů, dohadů a podobně; na popis akčních scén zas tak často nedochází

NÁVRHY A BRAINSTORMING* cílem je naučit studenty používat spojení typu why don't we... / what if I... / are you suggesting that...? / you'd better not... / you might want to... / I don't think you should... / if I were you... / then again, ... / let's not... / actually I'd rather... / sounds good / that could work* aby nesázeli pouze na provařené maybe you can / maybe we could / it is a very good idea

HÁDKY A SPORY* you have got to be kidding me! / what a horrible thing to say! / I don't think so / what makes you think that? / what were you thinking?! / come on, that's not true! / why the hell would you do that?!* it is horrible! / I think it is not possible! / it is not a very good idea!

POCITY: RADOST, ZKLAMÁNÍ, ZMATEK* but how come you didn't...? / I wonder if... / I can't believe they... / what an amazing story! / you did such a great job... / it's such a relief

VÝČITKY A LÍTOST* I wish I knew how to fight... / we shouldn't have told them / it was stupid of me to... / what was I thinking trying to...? / next time I'm going to have to be more... / I can't believe I didn't even ...

STUDENTS' WORKSHEETSFILL-IN A+B: doplňovačka typu mezera=slovo, kde většina mezer vyžaduje jedno konkrétní slovo (a pokud ne, pak je vložena nápověda) – ideální pro první obeznámení s psanou podobou textu (A),následnou domácí úlohu (B) a konečně postupné procházení v hodině s učitelovým výkladem (proč zde musí/má být právě toto jedno slovo a žádné jiné)

*** nejjednodušší na přípravu a skvělé na vysvětlování gramatiky; důkladné doplnění jedné stránky s krátkým výkladem u každé mezery vám může klidně zabrat i celou hodinu – šikovně se přitom poukazuje na klasické chyby, jichž se studenti běžně dopouští (a které nejspíš nasekali v domácí úloze)

MUST-USE: cílem tohoto listu je donutit studenty k převyprávění příběhu za použití nejzajímavějších obratů; respektive zabránit tomu, aby příběh podávali zjednodušenou, až primitivní, angličtinou (so some man drink coffee and something is in his mouth and he think it's cookie but it's fly so he throw it and it fly to plate of some other man and...)

*** nejvíc práce, ale určitě se vyplatí; přitom kdy se studenti snaží sestavit věty kolem předpsaných obratů a gramatik máte možnost chodit po třídě, zastavovat se u jednotlivých dvojic a opravovat individuální chyby, na které by jinak při kolektivní práci třeba nedošlo

PSYCH-OUT : v první fázi práce s textem se studentům nejdůležitější obraty připomínají pomocí point-out, tedy jen slovně a krátce, nicméně opakovaně; ty nejdůležitější z nich si pak najdou cestu do psych-out sheet, který slouží jako dlouhodobá připomínka postupně odplouvajících znalostí, použít jej lze i jako homework sheet, aby si studenti procvičili překlady doma

*** poměrně pracné, but remember: this is for the long haul, k větám se můžete (měli byste) v různých podobách vracet ještě měsíce, proto dporučuju dát si na nich záležet a do každé z nich přihodit ještě jednu gramatiku navíc (namísto "přestože nic nevím" dát třeba "přestože se o tom nemáme bavit",aby si studenti navíc připomněli existenci "be supposed to")

* Pracovní listy pro studenty i pro učitele najdete v příloze

TEACHER'SWORKSHEETSREADSHEET: příběh vytištěný velkým fontem jako pomůcka při samotném vyprávění

NOTES / IDEAS: příběh vytištěný menším fontem s vyznačenými BEST BITS a prostorem pro dopisování poznámek

INTRO / VOCAB / STORY / INQUIRY• INTRO / STORY: prvních pár vět vyprávění je make-or-break - můžete jimi okamžitě pozornost studentů nebo naopak celý příběh zabít a odsoudit k neúspěchu *** I will now tell you a story about a man who is drinking coffee and he drinks a fly but he thinks it is a cookie... * So I'm sitting at this coffee house, right, and I'm nervous as hell because I'm on a deadline...• VOCAB: i slovní zásobu lze vysvětlit tak, aby se studenti nenudili; pomocí příkladů ze života definujte 3-6 slov/obratů v kuse, dokud je studenti ve své většině neodkývají, až poté společně najdětenejlepší ekvivalent pro každý z obratů *** take a sip = usrknout / trochu se napít• INQUIRY: každý příběh je po prvotním vyprávění potřeba ještě jednou až dvakrát připomenout - ne každý napoprvé všechno pochytí, že ano; ptáte se tak, aby na sebe otázky logicky navazovaly, studenti odpovídají, vy je opravujete - výsledkem je, že všichni vše ví, což umožní přesun k dalším aktivitám

POINT-OUT (BEST BITS): cílem vyprávění není, aby se studenti dověděli pointu příběhu neboaby se pobavili; cílem je, aby se něčemu přiučili; proto je třeba jim nejdůležitější obraty z textu znovu a znovu připomínat, nejlépe pomocí různých typů testů; následně pak doufat, že si jich takto co nejvíce zažijí a budou s to je časem sami spontánně používat

BLOW-UP (GRAMMAR): některé obraty či gramatiky stojí za obšírnější výklad; i pro studentyje ostatně poutavější, pokud gramatika vychází z nějakého příběhu, než když vypadne ze vzduchoprázdna učebnicové lekce

CONVERSATIONS: jedním z prubířských kamenů nově nabytých znalostí jsou konverzace (v párech) – během nich se ukáže, zda jsou studenti s to převyprávět příběh, s jehož obsahem jsou obeznámeni, zda tentýž obsah dovedou zasadit do jiných časových souvislostí a povyprávět jej z pohledu jiné osoby, a zda dokáží z čisté vody zimprovizovat zajímavou konverzaci

HUGE BLACK FLY *A TEACHER'S EDITION* BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

R E A D S H E E T Today, I was having a coffee at my favorite coffee house while

working on an essay that I'm supposed to finish and hand in by tomorrow

morning.

Anyway, I took a sip and felt something in my mouth. I figured it must

be a bit of a cookie that I'd had for breakfast so I didn't worry about it at

first. Then I remembered I didn't have cookies this morning.

I reached in and took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be a huge

black fly. I screamed and threw it away as far as I could. It flew across the

room and landed on the plate of this big bald tough-looking guy.

He stood up and looked at me as if he was going to kill me. His wife

had to hold him and keep him from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm kind of clumsy so in the process I

also spit coffee all over my open laptop and knocked over the cup, spilling

the rest of the coffee on the floor.

I could see the customers mumbling to each other, shaking their

heads and calling me a loser.

The waiter wasn't too happy either. Even though I apologized to him

repeatedly for making him mop the floor and gave him a nice tip, I don't

think I'll be welcome there for a while.

Oh, and did I mention that my laptop died and all my files got wiped

out, including the essay I was working on? And that I got an F as a result?

Some days just aren't worth getting out of bed for.

HUGE BLACK FLY *A TEACHER'S EDITION* BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

N O T E S * I D E A S

Today, I was having a coffee at my favorite coffee house while

working on an essay that I'm supposed to finish and hand in

by tomorrow morning. Anyway, I took a sip and felt something

in my mouth. I figured it must be a bit of a cookie that I'd

had for breakfast so I didn't worry about it at first. Then I

remembered I didn't have cookies this morning.

I reached in and took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be

a huge black fly. I screamed and threw it away as far as I

could. It flew across the room and landed on the plate of this

big bald tough-looking guy. He stood up and looked at me as

if he was going to kill me. His wife had to hold him and keep

him from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm kind of clumsy so in the

process I also spit coffee all over my open laptop and knocked

over the cup, spilling the rest of the coffee on the floor. I could

see the customers mumbling to each other, shaking their heads

and calling me a loser.

The waiter wasn't too happy either. Even though I apologized

to him repeatedly for making him mop the floor and gave him

a nice tip, I don't think I'll be welcome there for a while. Oh,

and did I mention that my laptop died and all my files got

wiped out, including the essay I was working on? And that I

got an F as a result? Some days just aren't worth getting out

of bed for.

HUGE BLACK FLY *A TEACHER'S EDITION* BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

P O I N T- O U T * B E ST B I T S *JAK BYSTE ŘEKLI:

zrovna jsme si dávali kafe

při práci na eseji jsem zjistil...

do zítřka to musí být hotové

říkal jsem si, že to je nějaký omyl

nějak jsem to v tu chvíli neřešil

letělo to, protože jsem tím hodil

stál tam a křičel na mě

zabránil jsem tomu, aby se to zhoršilo

a to ještě není to nejhorší

nevěděl jsem, že jsi takový nešika

a přitom jsem ji celou polil kávou

nepřevrhni to, jinak to budeš utírat

kroutil hlavou a něco si mumlal

neříkej jí, že je hrdinka

mně se to taky nelíbí

i když to nebyla moje chyba

komu se máme omluvit a za co?

nikdo tě nenutil to dělat

už tu nejste vítáni

mohls to aspoň zmínit

zuby vypadly všem, včetně mě

už ti někdy takhle odešel telefon?

a kvůli tomu jsem nedostal dýško

pak by to ale nestálo za to

we were just having coffee

while (I was) working on the essay...

it has to be done by tomorrow

I figured it was some kind of a mistake

I didn't worry about it at the time

it flew because I threw it

he stood there and screamed/yelled at me

I kept it from getting worse

and that's not the worst part

I didn't know you were so clumsy

and in the process I spilled coffee all over her

don't knock it over or you'll mop it

he shook his hand and mumbled something

don't call her a hero

I don't like it either

even though it wasn't my fault

who do/should we apologize to and what for?

no one made you do it

you're not welcome here anymore

you could have at least mentioned it

everyone's teeth fell out, including mine

has you phone died like this ever before?

and as a result I didn't get a tip

but then it wouldn't be worth it

HUGE BLACK FLY *A TEACHER'S EDITION* BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

B L OW- U P * G R A M M A R*BE WORTH ST

• it doesn't/didn't really worth it * pomocné sloveso je BE, nikoli DO

• the audiobook isn't worth to listen to *pokud následuje sloveso, pak v ING tvaru

• will it worth it? / then it wouldn't worth visiting *BE zde nesmí vypadnout

EVEN THOUGH

• even though you're rich, I won't marry you * české PŘESTOŽE, I KDYŽ, pojí se s celou větou

• I won't marry you despite all your money * české PŘES, pojí se jen s předmětem

* varianty ALTHOUGH / IN SPITE OF bych v první fázi neuváděl, jen by mátly

• even if you were rich, I wouldn't marry you * hypotetické I KDYBY, I POKUD

CALL SB ST

• how do you call this? / don't call me like that * česky "JAK se tomu říká", v angličtině "ČÍM se to nazývá"

• you shouldn't say about these people that they are heroes *české "řekl o ní, že je", sloveso "nazývat" se v

dnešní češtině moc nepoužívá

EITHER

• I had a great time, too (kladná věta) / I didn't like it there either (zápor)

• jiná použití EITHER: either of these is fine / either you tell her or I will

WORRY ABOUT ST

• WORRY má spoustu českých překladů, nejen DĚLAT SI STAROSTI:

• I don't have to worry about money (nemusím řešit peníze, care about, solve) / hey, don't worry about it (to je

v pohodě, to neřeš; never mind) / I worry about you (mám o tebe strach, I am afraid of you) / don't worry, I'll

be fine (neboj, don't be afraid)

KEEP SB FROM DOING ST

• jako české (ZA)BRÁNIT NĚKOMU V NĚČEM, v podstatě opak spojení MAKE SB DO ST (v textu: make

the waiter mop the floor), případně LET SB DO ST

• příležitost připomenout koncept ING tvaru slovesa po jakékoli předložce: ve stejném textu: apologized to

the waiter FOR MAKING him mop the floor

HUGE BLACK FLY: STUDENTS' WORKSHEETS BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

FILL-IN (A)Today, I was ____ a coffee at my favorite coffee house ____ working on

an essay ____ I'm supposed to finish and ____ in by tomorrow morning.

Anyway, I ____ a sip and felt something in my mouth. I [f ]____ it must

be a bit of a cookie that I'd had for breakfast so I didn't worry about it

____ first. Then I remembered I didn't have cookies this morning.

I reached in and took it out of my mouth. It ____ out to be a huge black

fly. I screamed and ____ it away as far as I could. It flew across the

room and [l]____ on the plate of this big bald tough-looking guy. He

[s]____ up and looked at me as if he was ____ to kill me. His wife had to

hold him and ____ him from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst ____. I'm kind of clumsy so in the [p]____ I also

spit coffee all ____ my open laptop and knocked over the cup, [s]____

the rest of the coffee on the floor. I could see the customers mumbling

to ____ other, ____ their heads and calling me a loser.

The waiter wasn't too happy [e]____. Even though I ____ to him

repeatedly for making him mop the floor and gave him a nice ____, I

don't think I'll be welcome there for a while. Oh, and did I [m]____ that

my laptop died and all my files got [w]____ out, including the essay I

was working on? And that I got ____ F as a result?

Some days just ____ worth getting out of bed ____.

HUGE BLACK FLY: STUDENTS' WORKSHEETS BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

FILL-IN (B)Today, I was having a coffee ____ my favorite coffee house while

working on ____ essay that I'm ____ to finish and hand in ____

tomorrow morning. Anyway, I took a ____ and felt something in my

mouth. I figured it must be a bit of a cookie that I'd had for breakfast so

I didn't ____ about it at first. Then I remembered I didn't have cookies

this morning.

I [r]____ in and took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be a huge black

fly. I [s]____ and threw it away as far as I could. It [f ]____ across the

room and landed on the plate of this big ____ tough-looking guy. He

stood up and looked at me as ____ he was going to kill me. His wife had

to hold him and keep him from ____ the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm kind of [c]____ so in the process I

also ____ coffee all over my open laptop and ____ over the cup, spilling

the rest of the coffee on the floor. I could see the customers [m]____ to

each ____, shaking their heads and ____ me a loser.

The waiter wasn't too happy either. Even ____ I apologized to him

repeatedly for ____ him mop the floor and gave him a nice tip, I don't

think I'll be [w]____ there for a while. Oh, and did I mention that my

laptop ____ and all my files got wiped out, ____ the essay I was working

on? And that I got an F as a ____?

Some days just aren't ____ getting out of bed for.

HUGE BLACK FLY: STUDENTS' WORKSHEETS BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

must-useb e h a v i n g s t *morning: coff ee house*b e s u p p o s e d t o *work essay: hand in*a t fi r s t *sip: feel, not worry: fi gure cookie*r e a c h + t u r n o u t *fl y!** e x c e p t *not afraid fl ies x in mouth*

t h r o w *far* + fl y *room* + l a n d *plate*a s i f *stand up – look: kill*k e e p s b f r o m d o i n g s t *wife - beat*t h e w o r s t p a r t *clumsy: spit, knock over, spill*t o e a c h o t h e r *mumble, shake heads, "loser"*

. . . e i t h e r *waiter happy*e v e n t h o u g h *apologize+tip: no welcome*m a k e s b d o s t *feel bad: mop fl oor*i n c l u d i n g *mention: laptop + fi les, essay*n o t b e w o r t h - i n g *get an F: some days bed*

keywords

c o ff e e – e s s a y – t o m o r r o w !s i p – m o u t h ! - c o o k i ew o r r y ? - r e m e m b e r !

o u t – fl y ! - s c r e a m + t h r o w !fl y – p l a t e g u y – u p + k i l l !w i f e h o l d – n o b e a t

n o w o r s t ! - c l u m s y : c u ps p i l l – c u s t o m e r s ( l o s e r )

w a i t e r ? – s o r r y m o p ! + t i pm e n t i o n : l a p t o p – fi l e s – Fo u t o f b e d ?

HUGE BLACK FLY: STUDENTS' WORKSHEETS BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

psych-out

j á b y c h s e j i m t a k y n e o m l o u v a l

p ř e s t o ž e m ě n i k d o n e n u t i l t o č í s t

p o d l e m ě b y t o n e m ě l i v ů b e c z m i ň o v a t

n o a s t á l o t o v ů b e c z a t o ?

m y s l e l j s e m , ž e m ě a s p o ň p o t r e s t á t e

m u s í š j í z a b r á n i t v t o m , a b y o d e š l a

a n e j h o r š í j e , ž e s i t y p e n í z e n e c h a l

k d y b y s n e b y l n e m e h l o , n e p ř e v r h l b y s t o

t y s o m n ě p ř e d e v š e m i ř e k l , ž e j s e m l o s e r

v k o l i k h o d i n t o m á m e o d e v z d a t ?

t o v ů b e c n e ř e š , t o p o ř e š í m e m y ( s o l v e )

u k á z a l o s e , ž e t a m o u c h a j e j e š t ě n a ž i v u

k u ř a t a n e l í t a j í , b u d e š j e t a m m u s e t n a h á z e t

k o m u t o p ř i s t á l o n a t a l í ř i ?

p r o č v š i c h n i v s t á v a j í ?

c o k d y ž t v ů j s y n z t o h o t e s t u d o s t a n e p ě t k u ?

HUGE BLACK FLY: STUDENTS' WORKSHEETS BEE'S KNEES ENGLISH

questions

Z J I S T Ě T E :

- - n a č e m z r o v n a p r a c o v a l k d y ž s e t o s t a l o

- - p r o č m u s e l p r a c o v a t r y c h l e

- - j e s t l i u t o h o s t o l u b y l i n ě k d o j i n ý

- - c o s i m y s l e l , ž e t a v ě c j e

- - k d o m u t u m o u c h u d o k a f e d a l

- - j a k t o , ž e t u m o u c h u n e v y p l i v l h n e d

- - k o m u j i h o d i l d o t a l í ř e

- - c o s e t e n c h l a p c h y s t a l u d ě l a t

- - k d o m u v t o m z a b r á n i l

- - j e s t l i t o z a ž e n a d ě l á v á č a s t o

- - c o n a t o ř í k a l i l i d é , c o t o s l e d o v a l i ( t h i n k )

- - j e s t l i t a m j e š t ě n ě k d y p ů j d e

- - p r o č h o t a m t e ď v š i c h n i n e n á v i d í

- - c o p a k t o d ý š k o n e p o m o h l o ?

THE PROCESSIN MY OWN WORDS

[1. INTRO] Hey everybody. Good to see you

again. So, you know how sometimes you're out

having a coffee or something and you're on

your own and you're doing some reading or

catching up on stuff and everything is going

great, and then one little thing happens, like

you spill a little of your drink, and it leads to

another thing, like someone slips on it or

something, and before you know it, you're

getting kicked out of the restaurant or the bar

or wherever you are and everybody is

laughing at you or shaking their heads, saying

things like "What a jerk! Can you believe

that?!" and you can't show your face in that

restaurant for years ... Yeah, it sucks. So

anyway, something like this happened to me

once ... Let me tell you about it. But first let's

take a look at some vocabulary that you are

going to need:

[2. VOCAB] All right, there you've got the

vocabulary, right on the whiteboard. Let's try

to make it less boring than it has to be, people.

Remember, if you're bored, I'm twice as bored.

So anyway, let's start... from the bottom, for a

change. ... Wipe something out. Ok, you

know what wiping is, right? You spill some

water on the table, you grab a cloth and you

wipe it to make the surface of the table dry

again. ... Wiping out is very different, though,

so I'm not even sure why I told you about the

spilling thing. Sorry about that. Wipe out

means to destroy completely. Like you can

wipe out the other team in a game, or you can

be wiped out yourself, emotionally or

physically, after a difficult experience. You

can also wipe out all your data on your

computer by accident if you hit the wrong

sequence of keys or something. Does that

make sense to you? Ok, let's not translate it

just yet, let's first do a bunch more of these. ...

So, what't the next one? Ok, a tip. That's easy.

A tip is extra money that you give to a waiter

at a restaurant to reward them for good

service. You don't have to give tips, but it's

kind of a norm, especially in the U.S. where a

15% tip is expected after a meal. Got that? All

right, let's move on... » » » » » ... so that's it.

Let's now take these phrases one at a time and

guess what the best translations are. Wipe

out? Zničit. V podstatě ano. Můžete použít pro

počítačová data nebo třeba ve sportu.

Samotné wipe je co? Utřít, správně. Wipe off

by pak bylo setřít, třeba to co je na tabuli.

Další... tip, to byste přeložili jak? ...

... a to bude všechno. Teď si mezi sebou

vysvětlete co jednotlivá slova na tabuli

znamenají. Jeden se ptá, druhý definuje.

Pozor taky na správný dotaz po významu

slova – jak se třeba zeptáte "co je to 'tip'?"

Ne*. Ne*. Ne*. Nejlepší je jednoduché

"What's a tip?" Jenom takhle, a s

neurčitým členem. "Hey, what's a goatee?"

U sloves a nepočitatelných slov a množného

čísla pak bez členu: "Hey, what's wipe out?

What are cleats?" Co se samotných definic

týče, nechci slyšet "wipe out is destroy" ani

"tip is money for waiter". Chci příklady ze

života, chci slyšet snahu o přesné definice,

nechci aby tu za dvě minuty znělo "Hotovo.

My už to máme." *** What is it a tip? What

means tip? What does mean tip?

3. CONVERSATION DEFINE VOCAB

[4. STORY] Ok. Good job, everybody. So back

when I was still in school, we had to write a lot

of essays and we were graded on them, you

know, we got grades depending on how good

our essays were. So essays were kind of a big

deal. You didn't want to hand in a poor essay

or miss the deadline because then you were in

big trouble.

Anyway, one time I was working on this essay

and I ha a really hard time with it and

couldn't finish it and I had to hand it in by the

next day. So I took my laptop to a coffee house

and I ordered a coffee and I started writing.

So I'm sitting there, trying to come up with

some good ideas and sipping my coffee when

suddenly I take a sip and feel something ...

» » » » »

... so let me recap: because of a stupid fly, my

laptop is now dead and I will have to have it

fixed. I will also get an F on my essay. And I

won't be able to go back to my favorite café

because everybody hates me there or thinks I

am a crybaby. All because of this one stupid

little insect.

Výborně. Teď si povyprávějte co jste

právě slyšeli. Jeden z vás je vypravěčova

maminka a druhý manželka toho

plešatého chlapa. Jeden z Vás začne

větou, "I hear your husband almost

killed my son!" Tak do toho.

5. CONVERSATION FIRST ATTEMPT

[6. INQUIRY] Ok. Good. So... whose plate am

I going to land on? (Huh?) Whose – plate – am

– I – going to – land on? (Oh. You are fly!) A

fly. But ok. So? (Plate of some man!) All right,

some guy's plate. Is he going to be happy to see

me? (No.) How come? (Because you're a fly.)

What's the big deal? (People don't like to see

flies in their food.) Why is that? ...

» » » » »

... and we're almost done, there's just one last

bit: when's the next time that Mike will go get

a cup coffee at this place? (Not anytime soon,

is what I'm guessing.) What?! What was that?

Oh, I must have dreamed that. Anyway, right.

Not for a while. Why is that? (He's not

welcome.) That's right. So... where am I right

now? (We don't know.) That's right. Could I be

dead? (It's possible.) Yeah, but I'm not. What

if I met Mike again, though? What would he

do to me? (He kill you.) No. What WOULD he

do to me? (He would kill you.) Yes. Good.

Teď zkuste vysvětlit marťanovi co

přesně má v popisu práce číšník a jaké

jsou výhody a nevýhody tohoto

zaměstnání. Jeden z vás je strašlivě

zvídavý marťan, kterého všechno

ohromně zajímá a klade spoustu

všetečných dotazů. První dotaz je "Why

would someone want to be a waiter?"

7. CONVERSATION SPIN-OFFS

* V této fázi je nejlepší volbou to play it by

ear. Podle dosavadního průběhu hodiny,

reakce studentů a celkové atmosféry ve

třídě se nabízí tři základní možnosti.

[8-1: POINT-OUT] Výborně. Jak byste

řekli "JÁ JSEM TAKY NEBYL

SPOKOJENÝ?" ... lepší než "satisfied" je v

běžné angličtině "happy", ono přece jenom

"satisfied" má blízko k českému

"uspokojený", takže tam radši opatrně ... a

hlavně, co slovo "TAKÉ" ... ne, "too" se v

záporných větách nepoužívá, namísto něj

musí být... ano, "EITHER" ... takže: "I love

you too", ale "I don't love you either" ...

jasné? ... ok, další, "MYSLEL JSEM, ŽE

MĚ ZABIJE" ...

[8-2: BLOW-UP] Pojďme se podívat na

pár zajímavých gramatik. Co to spojení

"některé dny nestojí za to vůbec vylézat z

postele," jak byste jej přeložili? ... Dobře,

WORTH tam opravdu je klíčové slovo, ale

nastává u něj pár komplikací. Zaprvé: celé

spojení zní BE WORTH, takže v záporech

ani otázkách nesmí zaznít DO ani DIDN'T

ani nic podobného. Pracuje se jen se

slovesem BE. Takže: jak byste řekli "nestojí

to za to?" ... a otázka: "stálo to za to?" ... a

potom: "bude to stát za to?" ... co třeba "to

by nestálo za to." Výborně. Další věc je

české NUTIT. To se překládá pomocí...

[8-3: FILL-IN] Tady máte doplňovačku,

každá mezera je jedno slovo, zkuste si ji ve

dvojicích doplnit ... ideální by bylo, kdyby

každá dvojice začala u jiného odstavečku,

abyste se neodposlouchávali... » » » » » ...

Plus mínus hotovo? Tak pojďme mezeru po

mezeře. "Today, I was..." správně,

"having". Vůbec se nebojte používat

průběhový tvar od HAVE, ve větách jako

"I'm having a party tonight." Takže "I was

having a coffee at my favorite coffee

house..." ... ne, tady DURING být nemůže,

protože...

[V případě, že je ještě čas:] Poslední

vykládání: jeden z vás je vědma, druhý

je moucha, mouchu zajímá co se jí

dnes stane. První dotaz: "So I wonder...

am I going to die today?"

9. CONVERSATION QUESTION / P.O.V.Good job, everybody. Don't let the door

hit you on the way out.

I know I know I know. There's

no way in hell you can fit all of

that into one lesson. Not a

chance. I get that, I agree with

you and I'm sorry. But hey,

worth a shot, right?

Today, I was having a coffee at my favorite coffee house while

working on an essay that I'm supposed to finish and hand in by

tomorrow morning. Anyway, I took a sip and felt something in my

mouth. I figured it must be a bit of a cookie that I'd had for breakfast

so I didn't worry about it at first. Then I remembered I didn't have

cookies this

morning. I

reached in

and took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be a huge black fly. I

screamed and threw it away as far as I could. It flew across the room

and landed on the plate of this big bald tough-looking guy. He stood

up and looked at me as if he was going to kill me. His wife had to hold

him and keep him from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm

kind of clumsy so in the process I also

spit coffee all over my open laptop

and knocked over the cup, spilling

the rest of the coffee on the floor. I

could see the customers mumbling to

each other, shaking their heads and

calling me a loser. The waiter wasn't too happy either. Even though I

apologized to him repeatedly for making him mop the floor and gave

him a nice tip, I don't think I'll be welcome there for a while. Oh, and

did I mention that my laptop died and all my files got wiped out,

including the essay I was working on? And that I got an F as a result?

Some days just aren't worth getting out of bed for.

examplesideas

whatnot

CONVERSATIONS

Konverzace studentů ve dvojicích jsou

naprostá nutnost. Jinak nezjistíte, jak

na tom studenti s angličtinou skutečně

jsou – překladové testy a zkoušení ze

slovíček před tabulí mají pramalou

výpovědní hodnotu. Odposloucháváním

studentů také zjistíte, jaký reálný dopad

má vaše výuka na jejich angličtinu.

Často to bývá nemilé zjištění.

Není jednoduché studenty přesvědčit o

tom, že by mezi sebou měli vést

několikaminutové rozhovory. První

pokusy budou nevyhnutelně začínat

otázkou "So (tell me) what happened? /

So what did you do?" a po třiceti

vteřinách budou završeny úpěnlivým

pohledem a větou, "My už nevíme o čem

mluvit. / Nás už nic nenapadá."

Vydržať. Trpělivě vysvětlovat smysl

počínání. Chválit. Opravovat. Znovu

chválit.

Studenti by si mluvení měli užívat.

Nejsou z něj koneckonců známkováni -

cílem je, aby sami pro sebe zjistili, jak na

tom s angličtinou jsou, a zda dokáží

teoreticky nabyté znalosti převést do

své aktivní angličtiny.

Při mluvení musí být vedeni k tomu, aby

si skákali do řeči, navzájem se

doplňovali, jednoduše aby hráli svou roli

co možná nejpřesvědčivěji a přitom se

vyjadřovali co možná nejprecizněji.

Easier said than done, I know.

NOTE: Níže uvedené vzorky konverzací

jsou pochopitelně idealistické – jen

studenti na velmi pokročilé úrovni by

byli schopni podobnou angličtinu

spontánně používat.

Nicméně: slovní zásoba v nich není

nikterak extrémní, stejně tak gramatika,

tudíž by se dalo tvrdit, že časem by se

studenti k podobným spojením měli

vlastními silami dopracovat – asi ne ke

všem a asi ne takto zhuštěně, ale

minimálně se jedná o jakýsi cílový bod.

NOTE: Na těchto stránkách najdete

přehršle konverzačních situací. Zdaleka

ne všechny lze samozřejmě u jednoho

textu aplikovat. Touto cestou se snažím

ilustrovat, kolik možností každý příběh

nabízí. Ne všechny jsou zjevné na první

pohled, ne všechny každého okamžitě

napadnou.

Nepředpojatý přístup ale otevře

kohoutek ke spoustě originálních

nápadů. Prosté převyprávění obsahu je

každopádně jen jednou z mnoha

možností, jak se k tomu či onomu

příběhu vracet.

ČASOVÝ RÁMEC

V podstatě existují tři časové rámce, v nichž se při vyprávění studenti pohybují.

• MINULOST, kdy si procvičí MINULÉ tvary sloves; měli by se ale snažit i o věty s POSUNEM ČASŮ (he knew it would not work) , zmiňovat děje, k nimž NEDOŠLO, ale MOHLO či MĚLO DOJÍT (instead of leaving / she could have said something but... / he wished he was less shy) a popisovat pocity postav (she must have been thrilled to see you / what a bummer, right); jinými slovy by nemělo jít čistě o lineární popis "A did then and then B did that and then C did this, the end."

• BUDOUCNOST, kde se studentům naskýtá možnost procvičit si používání BE GOING TO; obratnou manipulací se slovesem BE si pak lépe zažijí spojení jako BE SUPPOSED TO / BE ALLOWED/ABLE TO nebo třeba i BE WORTH; doporučuju též procvičování dotazů v budoucím čase (Am I going to swallow a fly today? Whose meal areyou going to ruin tomorrow?)

• PŘÍTOMNOST, tedy popis právě se odehrávajícího děje, kdy studenti v ideálním případě přepínají mezi časy přítomným průběhovým, přítomným prostým, předpřítomným, budoucím a dalšími (So I'm sitting at this table by the window. I have never sat here before as far as I remember. I don't usually sit by the window anywhere. I'm going to switch to a different table as soon as someone leaves. Anyway, I've been typing on my laptop for the past two hours...")

ZÁKLADNÍ TYPY VYPRÁVĚNÍYOU AND I: V ideálním případě se oba studenti při vyprávění doplňují, přičemž každý mluví za jinou postavu. Nikdo by neměl v kuse mluvit víc než pár vteřin, slovo se přebíráklidně i vprostřed věty, postavy nemluví jen o sobě, ale popisují i činnost ostatních

(WAITER) so I was serving some drinks – (MAN) and you noticed a guy standing up – and I could tell he was going to spill his coffee – and he did – and I was like, oh no... - and then you saw him throw something at me – he did; and you stood up and...

QUESTIONS: Další konstelací je tazatel – odpovídající, kdy jeden zahrnuje druhého spontánními dotazy (a občas si případně prohodí role, just to keep things fun)

So did you give any Fs this week? -- Yes, one. -- To who? -- This guy who normally gets straight As. -- What happened? -- He didn't hand in his essay. -- He didn't? -- No. He said he wrote it and then his laptop died. -- Did you believe him? -- I did. -- But you still gave him an F. -- Well, I had to.

90-SEC: Každý student vede monolog v roli té či oné postavy. Po zaznění zvukového signálu druhý navazuje tam, kde první skončil. Ideální doba jednoho úseku je 90-120 vteřin. Naslouchající student předstírá zájem, kývá, mračí se, případně orientačně napovídá. Cílem je, aby si studenti uvědomili, že není žádná legrace mluvit dvě minuty v kuse, pokud váš společník vytrvale mlčí a do budoucna se podle toho zařídili.

POSTAVY... z jejichž perspektivy lze příběh vyprávět; vedle původního vypravěče, případně hlavní postavy, což se rozumí samo sebou, a vždy využitelného neutrálního pozorovatele, lze příběh (nebo aspoň některé jeho pasáže) vyprávět z pozice téměřkohokoli/čehokoli na koho/co vyjde v textu aspoň drobná zmínka

VYPRAVĚČ Let me tell you what happened to me at this very place last year ... I was sitting atthat table over there and I was really nervous because I had to finish this story...

NEZÚČASTNĚNÝ POZOROVATEL ( VŠEVĚDOUCÍ) So my friend Mike, he likes to hang out at this coffee place ... he'll be there again this time next week, typing at his notebook ... he will be working on an essay that he will have to finish by the next day ... while he's typing, a fly will end up in his coffee ... but he won't notice until he takes a sip...

THE FLY So I'm at this coffee place ... it's my favorite café in town ... people are nice here ... they don't try to kill me like they do in other places ... they just sip their coffees while I watch them from the wall ... right now there's a guy who's writing something on hislaptop ... this guy comes here all the time ... in fact I have seen him here twice this week already ... I'm pretty sure he'll sit here typing on his notebook without paying any attention to the world around him, as usual ... hey, here's an idea, why don't I flyover there and take a sip of his coffee while he's busy working ... ok, I'm on my way ... here we go ... damn it, now I'm all wet and I can't fly ... and now he's grabbed the cup and he's lifting it... OMG, I'm going in!

WAITER / BALD GUY / HIS WIFE I can not believe this. I have just finished mopping the floor and now I will have todo it all over again, just because some clumsy kid knocked over his cup of coffee... I have just seen a fly crawl inside a guy's cup. I'm pretty sure I know what's goingto happen next. I think he's going to take a sip and at first he's going to think that the fly is actually... (on the phone) Hey, sis, listen, I need your help ... I'm at this coffee house and my husband is kind of freaking out because some guy threw a fly in his plate ... I know, I know, same old story...

KOMBINACE POSTAV

Je samozřejmě možné, aby oba studenti ve dvojivi zastupovali stejnou postavu a jen si předávali slovo, není to ale zcela přirozené. Samotné studenty bude určitě víc bavit set-up, kdy každý z nich popisuje tytéž děje z jiné perspektivy.

YOU & I * ZDE: BALD GUY + WAITERSo I looked at my plate and I saw this fly ... right, and you wondered where it came from ... yes, so I looked over and I noticed this guy and I could tell it was him ... you got pretty pissed off, right? ... you bet I did ... I can't blame you, I would have, too ... of course, so I stood up ... that must have scared him ... it did, and he stood up too ... and that's when he knocked over the cup ... yes, and that's why you had to mop the floor again ...

TV MODERÁTOR – THE WIFESo how are you today, ma'am? -- Better. -- Compared to what? -- Compared to the other day at the coffee place. -- Right. So what exactly happened there? -- Well, as you know, I was with my husband... -- Let me stop you right there... What kind of a person is your husband? -- Well, how do I put this... -- What I'm asking is, what is helike when he gets angry? -- He has a temper, my husband. When he thinks that someone is trying to hurt him, or me, he can get pretty violent. -- Is that what happened at the coffee place? -- Pretty much. -- So let's take this from the start...

VĚDMA – MATKA VYPRAVĚČESo this baby of mine, is he going to get in a lot of fights? -- Not very often, but sometimes he will. -- Where? And with who? -- Let's see... ok, one time he will be at a coffee place... -- A coffee place? People don't fight in coffee places! -- They do when someone throws a fly in their food. -- Oh. Is someone going to throw a fly in my son's food? -- Actually, it will be the other way around...

MOUCHA – ČÍŠNÍKHey, fly, you'd better be careful now. -- What do you mean, careful? -- Just don't fly into anybody's drink, that's all I'm saying. -- What if I do? -- Well, then you'll either drown or you'll get eaten. -- Oh. I don't want that to happen. -- Of course you don't. -- But if I end up in someone's coffee, they'll just spit me out. -- But in the process, they might spill their drink. -- Oh, and you'd have to mop that, right? -- That's exactly right. And I don't want THAT to happen to ME...

UNIVERZÁLNÍ SITUACE

Nejen dějem živ je člověk: většina každodenních konverzací se točí spíše kolem návrhů, drobných postřehů, dohadů a podobně. A právě v nich se objevují obraty, s nimiž nejvíce zápasíme.

NÁVRHY: BRAINSTORMING/SPITBALLINGWhy don't you two just talk it out instead of fighting? /// Why don't I pay for your mealand we're even? /// You might want to stop flying into people's cups. /// I guess I'd better start mopping the floor. /// Make sure you don't knock over that cup of coffee while you're...Look, I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to spill all this coffee on the floor. -- Right. But what are we going to do now? -- Why don't you get me a cloth and I'll mop it? -- You can't do that. You're a customer. -- But you're not making me do this. I offered. -- I know. But still. How about I do it and then you buy me a coffee. -- Sounds good. What do you say I come back later tonight after you get off work and we hang out together? -- All right, that could work, I guess.

HÁDKY A SPORYHoney, calm down. It's not such a big deal. -- How can you say that?! Didn't you see what that guy just did? -- He didn't mean to do it, you know. -- I know. But he ruined my meal. --It's ok. I'm sure he'll be willing to buy you a new one. -- I don't think so. He kind of looks likea student. -- And? -- Students are poor. -- Can't you let him off the hook? He's just a kid. -- Well, he needs to learn his lesson. -- Or what? -- Or else he'll run around doing the same thing to other people. -- Aren't you exaggerating a little? -- No, I'm not. I'm just being practical about this...

POCITY: RADOST, ZKLAMÁNÍ, ZMATEKI feel so guilty. I have ruined someone's dinner and I have made a waiter work extra hard. I'm such a klutz. And it's no one else's fault, either. I totally messed up. I mean, it was just afly. It wasn't such a big deal. I don't know why I overreacted the way I did. I could have just put it on the table and left it there, or dropped it in the trash. Instead, I threw it into another person's meal. And then I got scared when the guy got angry and I knocked over...

VÝČITKY A LÍTOSTI feel so stupid for ruining that guy's evening. I wish I'd been more careful. -- Yeah, you should have stayed away. -- If I'd just minded my own business, I wouldn't be in trouble now. -- That's right. What were you thinking flying into that guy's coffee anyway? -- Well, I'm a fly, that's what flies do...

GRAMATICKÉ KONVERZACENení na škodu čas od času nechat studenty, aby si procvičili podmínkové věty / posuny časů / jiné gramatické jevy – vše je možné aplikovat na jakýkoli text.

PODMÍNKYVYPRAVĚČ: PŘÍTOMNOST

I wouldn't be sitting here if I didn't have to finish this damn essay. I'd be out with my friends. /// If

I wasn't afraid of flies, maybe I would just swallow this one and not worry about it too much.

ČÍŠNÍK: BUDOUCNOST

Well, if that guy spills his coffee, I guess I will have to mop the floor for the third time today. ///

Unless someone offers to mop it for me, I'll just grab the broom and do it myself.

MOUCHA: MINULOST

I wish I hadn't crawled into that guy's cup. If I'd stayed out, I wouldn't have been thrown into the

other guy's plate. /// If the first guy was a little bit stronger, I might have died or been killed.

POSUNY ČASŮVětšina příběhů se dá převést do dialogové podoby, tady jako konverzace mezi účastníky děje. Pokud se o to studenti pokusí, mají na výběr ze dvou možností:

a) velmi neformální vyprávění za použití be like / go - to ale většina učitelů nemá ráda a jakkoli jde o praktickou dovednost, u testů s ní studenti nepochodíSo I'm like "Sorry man," and he's like "What just happened? and I go, "Well, I guess I just threw a fly in your plate" and he goes, "You have got to be kidding me!" ...

b) nepřímá řeč pomocí say, tell, ask, explain, ale také wonder, suggest, mention, insist a jiných (studenti musí primárně znát rozdíl mezi say / tell a vyhýbat se answer jako slovesu)So I said I was sorry and you said that just wasn't good enough. -- Right. And then you suggested that you could pay for my meal and I told you not to bother. -- But I insisted and I explained that I'd feel really guilty otherwise. -- But I pointed out that you'd ruined my whole evening. -- And I admitted that I had. -- And you wondered how you could make it up to me...

FUZZY-TELLINGNe vždy si je člověk jistý všemi informacemi, které má k dispozici. Děj se dá převyprávět i z pozice dočasného pochybovače, pomocí seem, might, apparently:I believe there's a fly in that guy's cup. It seemed to crawl in a few minutes ago. It might have flownout while I wasn't looking, but I don't think it did. The guy seems to be working on something important. He's on a deadline, apparently. He must be really nervous. Look how sweaty he is.

SPIN-OFFS: IMPROVIZED DIALOGSImprovizované dialogy jsou na jedné straně postrachem studentů *o čem se jako máme bavit? já vůbec nevím co mám říkat* a na straně druhé požehnáním – neomezují je žádná pravidla a není nutná předchozí znalost tématu či textu. Jinými slovy, není se na co vymlouvat *já jsem tu na tenhle příběh nebyla, takže...*

Představivosti se meze rozhodně nekladou. Čím bizarnějších kontur konverzace nabude, tím lépe. Úplně nejlépe pak je, když se studenti časem (případně hned zkraje) odchýlí od vytýčené situace a vydají se do zcela neprobádaných krajů.

Jedinou konstantou musí být solidní, a v rámci možností bohatá, angličtina. Primitivní vyjadřování nejen, že studenty nikam neposouvá, naopak jejich angličtinu v této podobě konzervuje.

Poslední doporučení zní, aby se studenti nenechali při výměně názorů ( jakkoli je jejich nesoulad hraný) unášet emocemi, ty kvalitě jazyka nesvědčí: *It is horrible! I am so angry! How can you do it! It is terrible! You must not do it! It is...! It is just...! So very horrible!*

a) ME - FLY: Why did you crawl into my cup, you ugly little thing? -- That's what we flies do, it's not my fault. You should have been more careful. -- I can't keep an eye on my cup all the time, I'm too busy. -- I get that. But you can't blame me for being me...

b) ME - MAN: Hey, what's the big deal, it's just a fly. No need to freak out like that. -- Just a fly? Just a fly?! You have got to be kidding me! You ruined my meal! -- I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to. Ma'am, you saw what happened. Could you explain to your husband... -- Leave my wife out of this...

c) MAN – WIFE: Honey, calm down, he didn't mean to throw it in your plate. -- I don't care if he meant to or not... -- Please, just let it go. I don't want you to get in trouble again. You have only justgot out of prison. I know, I know. Just give me a second to cool down...

d) WAITER - ME: Oh you have got to be kidding me! -- Sorry. I'm such a klutz. I'll clean it up. -- Oh don't worry about it. It's just that I've mopped the floor twice today already. -- Oh, that sucks. I'll give you a huge tip, if that helps. -- Depends on how huge. -- Oh, you're blackmailing me now? -- I wouldn't call that blackmail. -- I would.

e) ME – TEACHER: You don't have the essay? -- I don't and let me explain why. -- You'd better have a really good explanation for this. -- I do. Look, I never hand these things in late. You know that. – I do. So what's your excuse?

f ) TEACHER – MAN'S WIFE: Hey, why are we talking to each other? -- You tell me. -- Let me think. What is it that we have in common? -- I'm not really sure. I think that my husband almost got into a fight with a guy whose essay you were supposed to grade? -- Oh. Oh. That's... not very helpful, really.

g) FLY – WAITER: Listen, fly, we have to make a deal. -- What kind of a deal? -- Well, you keep flying into people's drinks and then I have to deal with the mess. -- I see. You could just kill me, youknow? -- I know, but there's so many more of you so... -- You can't win. -- Exactly. -- So what do you want me to do? -- I want you to talk to the other flies and explain to them...

h) FLY – SPIDER: Serves you right for flying into people's drinks, fly. -- Oh, like you don't freak people out... -- I do, but unlike you, I'm smart about it. -- How? -- I scare them. -- And I don't? -- Oh, don't make me laugh. -- Hey! I can be scary. -- No you can't. You're lame. And everybody hatesyou. -- They do?

MÉ OBLÍBENÉ SITUACENURSING HOME (PAST)

jakékoli dvě postavy z příběhu (případně i zvnějšku – například kamarád vypravěče) se po mnoha letech setkají v domově důchodců a vzpomínají

Have we met before? -- I don't know. You do look kind of familiar. -- Wait.Aren't you the guy that threw that fly on my ex-husband's plate? -- I am! What a coincidence! Ex-husband, you say? ...

RUNNING COMMENTARY (PRESENT)společně jako policisté sledujete záznam kamerového systému z místa činu a popisujete děj na obrazovce imaginárnímu třetímu policistovi, který jej na rozdíl od vás ještě nezhlédl; pro oživení doporučuju při rozhovoru kreslit na kus papíru náčrtky prostorů a pohybu postav

So as you can see, this guy has taken his wife out to dinner and they're enjoying their meal ... but what's going to happen now is another guy is going to suddenly stand up ... that guy with the laptop, see him? right, so he's going to take a sip of coffee right ... about ... now ... so what he just did was he spit out a fly ... which got into his coffee earlier without him noticing ... and as you can see, he threw it away ... let's watch that one more time ... see that? now, he didn't seem to be aiming anywhere in particular, but as it happens...

TWO FORTUNE TELLERS TALK (FUTURE)dvě vědmy se spolu vydaly na procházku a průběžně komentují budoucí osudy lidí, které pozorují na ulici či v kavárně

So what about this guy? ... Oh he's going to have an interesting day today. ... That's right. He's going to go to a coffee house ... But not to enjoy himself, but to work. ... Really? Oh, you're right. He has an essay to finish ... And he won't be able to finish it in time ... In fact, he will lose the file by getting his laptop wet...

FUNERAL SPEECH (PAST)jedna z postav zemřela a na jeho/jejím pohřbu pronáší společně dvojice jeho přátel nebo příbuzných dojemný projev o životě a charakteru, s důrazem na jednu konkrétní událost (příběh); projev musí být dojemný, přirozený a podaný kvalitní angličtinou

Our friend Mike the fly is being buried today ... let us spend a few minutes talking about what an exciting life he led ... Yes, right until the moment that jerk threw him across the room ... Now, frankly, Mike kind of had it coming ... yes, he had no business getting into that guy's coffee ... but Mike could never stay out of trouble for long, he enjoyed taking risks...

GOSSIP (PAST + PRESENT)společně jako kamarádi vypravěče (či hlavní postavy) vyprávíte imaginární třetí osobě o tom, cose mu/jí přihodilo; doporučuju v těchto situacích používat historický prézens, což zní very very fancy, ale v podstatě jde jen o to, že v angličtině se minulé děje často popisují přítomnými časy (v češtině také, ale méně často)

Have you heard about Ed? ... Yeah, it's a crazy story. ... So here's the thing ... Ed's at work earlier today, right, at the coffee house where he works ... and this guy comes in and orders a coffee and Ed brings him the coffee and then he forgets about the guy until he hears this loud scream...

SALES PITCH *PRESENT TENSEspolečně jako scénáristé předkládáte (velmi entuziasticky) návrh na scénu ve filmu/seriálu režisérovi (případně režisér předkládá návrh producentovi); popis by měl obsahovat i použitou přímou řeč a odehrává se v přítomném čase (toho je třeba se držet, a není to úplně snadné)

So here's the set-up, all right? This is going to blow your mind, it's such a great scene. So, are you listening? Ok, here goes. There's a guy who's sitting in a coffee house ... He's all by himself ... He gets out a laptop and he starts typing ... Meanwhile, a fly crawls into his coffee ... But he doesn't notice ... Then he takes a sip and he's like, what the hell ...... so then the tough guy gets up and he's all like, "What did you just do?" And the first guy goes, "What do you mean, what did I just do?" And the second guy's wife is like, "Honey, calm down..." because she's been there before, she knows what her husband is like and she knows very well what'sgoing to happen next unless she steps in...

THE MARTIAN DIARIES

Než začnete kroutit hlavou: konverzace typu "vysvětlete marťanovi..." jsou vlastně variací na profláklé "vyprávění na dané téma" (záchrana velryb, je lepší město či vesnice, co dělat pro zdraví etc.), díky němuž lidstvo zkoumá možné hranice nudy. Marťan je mnohem zábavnější.

Je úplně fuk, že o daném tématu jeden z dvojice zhola nic neví, aspoň se od partnera něčemu přiučí. Je úplně fuk, pokud ani jeden z partnerů o daném tématu lautr nic neví. Můžou odhadovat, tipovat, vymýšlet si, případně při první příležitosti odbočit k úplně jinému tématu.

Na marťanských debatách je zajímavé to, že debatující musí nad tématem intenzívně přemýšlet,což samo o sobě člověka vyčerpá, a k tomu své myšlenky okamžitě vyjadřovat v cizím jazyce.

Vysvětlete marťanovi: a) co je to moucha, jak přesně mouchy vypadají, co dělají, co z nich máme, co by bylo kdyby nebyly, z čeho se vyvinuly a do čeho se vyvinou v budoucnu, jakou úlohu hrají v populární kultuře (film?) etc.; b) jak funguje u lidí vztek, co se při něm v tělě odehrává a jak se dá zvládat; c) k čemu je utírání a jak tato činnost probíhá, d) jak funguje a kdy nefunguje omluva, e) co je to deadline, f) co dělá takový číšník (co přesně má v popisu práce), g) jakožto jeskynní člověknavrhněte historicky první talíř (plus historie kultury stolování)

Všechna témata vychází z příběhu, nad všemi budou studenti (a nejspíš i vy) zpočátku kroutit hlavou, a o všech se přitom dá vyprávět donekonečna - za předpokladu aspoň minimální ochoty,špetky představivosti a celé řay odboček.

Deadline is last moment when you must do something. ... tick tock ... tick tock ... [swivel head to see if everyone else is still talking] ... tick tock ... tick tock ... tick tock ... [look at teacher, tap watch] ... tick tock ... tick tock ... tick tock ... tick tock ... [sigh, stretch, stare out the window] ... tick tock ... tick tock ... tick tock ... [shake head, roll eyes] ... tick tock ... tick tock ... tick tock ... Ok. So you have a task and your boss tells you that it has to be done today because the client needs it and if you finish it tomorrow it will be too late and they won't use it no matter how good it is, and oh, you might get fired because deadlines are pretty serious affairs. But very often deadlines are... what's the word, oh yeah, flexible. Everybody knows that nothing ever gets done in time so people usually just set a deadline and then they don't expect it to be kept. But they still get angry when they are told that the dealine will not be met even though they really have no reason to. Some people are just jerks and they enjoy getting mad and yelling at other people I guess. Deadlines are a good way to create an opportunity to do that. But in some businesses, deadlines actually have to be kept. For instance, in journalism, you can't just keep working on a story forever...

Pamatujte, že prvních pár minut konverzace není směrodatných. Studentům vždycky chvíli trvá, než se dostanou do tempa a oprostí se od jiných myšlenek. Berte to jako game of chicken, kdy obě strany čekají, kdo cukne jako první: studenti se na vás co chvíli obrací s čím dál přesvědčivějším tvrzením, že už neví o čem mluvit, you call their bluff, oni otráveně pokračují, po několika minutách ve třídě najednou něco přepne, a najednou jde všechno samo. Problém nastane, když necuknete a ono se nic nepřepne, i k tomu semtam dochází.

QUESTIONS & ANSWERSOtázky je třeba procvičovat často. Studenti mají problémy s pomocnými slovesy *why you

admitted it to me?*, nepřímými otázkami *I don't know who are you?*, otázkami na podmět

*who did know it all?* i delšími podměty *why did stay all your friends here?*.

Otázky by měly být zajímavé, měly by se odrážet od předchozí odpovědi a reagovat na ni: And

did it? / So... were they? Otázky také nemusí být nutně otázky: You didn't! / Oh that's too bad. /

You poor thing. Co nejméně by mělo znít generické What happened? / What did you do? Ve své

podstatě by tazatel měl fungovat, jako by byl placen od otázky – neměl by se bát skákat do řeči,

předstírat hluboký zájem apod. (Ideální je také každých cca 90 vteřin zvukovým signálem ve

všech párech prohodit role, aby studenti nezlenivěli.)

a) LIVE FROM CAFÉ: Are you enjoying your meal, tough-looking man with no hair? -- What's

it to you? -- Well, I just think that you should watch out. -- Oh you do, do you? -- Yes I do. -- Why is

that? -- Could something maybe ruin your meal? Think. -- I can't think of anything that could do

that. -- Really? What if a fly somehow ended up in your food?

b) MEMORY LOSS: Why did I have to stop my husband from beating up that poor young man?

-- Because he was out of control once again. -- Does he do this often? I mean, lose his temper? -- All

the time. -- So what exactly did the young man do that was so horrible?

c) ASK A FORTUNE TELLER: Am I gonna get an A on my essay? -- No. In fact, you are going

to get an F. -- That's impossible. That never happens to me. Why am I going to get an F? --

Because you'll fail to hand it in. -- Will it be because I'll procrastinate? -- Not really. -- Why then?

d) NURSING HOME: Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? -- Yeah, you're the guy that

almost killed me when I threw a fly...

Studenti by měli být povzbuzováni ke kladení jak velmi krátkých, úderných, doplňkových dotazů typu, And did you? Was he? So who does?, tak i těch rozvleklých – v nejlepším smyslu slova: So the guy that you saw while you were there, was he doing anything that you found suspicious or was he minding his own business and the reason you were scared was because you had been watching way too many horror movies lately?

Nevadí, když studentovi trvá dlouho ze sebe podobný dotaz vymáčknout. Je to určitě lepší, než když ze sebe bude roboticky sypat konstrukce typu ... so it was very interesting for me because it was very good so I liked it very much and in my opinion it was very nice and I think that it was a big advantage for me ...

Q'n'AThere's so many stories out there. How do you know which ones will go over well in class?

If you have a story and you wonder if your students will enjoy it, simply tellit to an empty room and imagine your students sitting right there and listening to you. You'll know in your gut if it's going to work or not. By the way, there are very few good stories. You'll be lucky to come across one every once in a while. You can also ruin a perfectly good story in a number of ways: with a clumsy opening, by letting it meander, or through too much new vocabulary. You will be able to pinpoint and then remove all of these problems by play-acting the hell out of it beforehand.

So you pick a story and that's it, you just tell it in class?

Hell no. I also spend a lot of time editing these stories and rehearsing them.I add things and I trim a lot of fat in order to make sure there are no weak spots and no confusing elements. I rephrase passages that are way too simple to teach the students new phrases. At the same time, I try not to overload a story with challenging language. It needs to strike just the right balance between too simple and too complicated.

But a good story is a good story, right? I mean, if it's good, you can go ahead and use it.

Not really. Plenty of fine stories don't make the cut. Others end up being significantly altered. I have read hundreds of wonderful stories that for some reason or another just wouldn't work in class or don't carry enough language heft to be worth my time. Choosing the right story is a science. Sois making it fit your students' needs. So is presenting it right.

Doesn't it feel funny to be pretending someone you're not? In telling the story, I mean.

It does. I used to feel slightly embarrassed at first doing this, but it turns out that most students (all, actually, in my experience) are willing to suspend their disbelief and play along. Or maybe I'm just that good of a teacher.

Do I need to be a natural storyteller to pull this off?

Probably. Then again, I don't think I am much of a storyteller so... You can get good at it with practice, I guess. It's definitely worth a shot.

Isn't that too much work to put into a single story?

It absolutely is. And it totally isn't worth it unless you spend at least three or four lessons on each story, plus preferably use it in multiple classes.

I have a small quibble with this particular story (Amelia and John) in that it probably wouldn't fly with a bunch of twelve-year-olds.

It wouldn't, no. But hey, here's a solution! How about you do a DIFFERENT story?

Inquiry/Recall seems really hard.

It's really not. Don't think of it as an exercise. Pretend like you actually want to know every single detail of the story. Don't interrupt the flow. Each question should build off the previous answer. Before you know it you have covered the whole story. I struggled with this activity at first, but once I got a handle on it, it became second nature. By now I thoroughly enjoy it and don'tmake any preparation at all.

Do your point-outs work in every language?

I'm afraid not. They do work in Czech and they'll probably work in other Slavic languages. (Czech speakers grapple with a very specific set of problems when it comes to English. I focus on those and those only.) However, when teaching German or French speakers, you may need to drop many lines as they don't present much of a challenge.

So will this exact same sequence of activities work for me?

Most likely it won't. Different strokes for different folks and all that. But it's a good starting point. Getting to where you want to be takes constant tinkering and modifications based on the feedback/response you get back from your students. Also, some things work in some classes and not in others. The same activity may work one day and not the next in the very same class. Sometimes you just need to adjust one little thing for a failed activity to suddenly work.

Don't be afraid to experiment. If something bombs twice, drop it and replace it with something else. Make sure you notice what does work and under what circumstances. Make this method your own—it needs to feel natural. If it feels like you're constantly following somebody else's rules, it won't be fun for you or your students. If necessary, scrap everything and rebuild it.

In each class alternate between different types of activity. You should not explain vocabulary and then tell the story right after that. That's too much talking and explaining on your part and your students' interest will flag. Instead, it's a good idea to tell the story right after testing your students (on atotally non-related text, if possible). Switching between different kinds of activity will keep students on their toes.

My classes are usually structured kind of like this:

A. test-type activity, such as point out (5min.)B. explaining/storytelling (5min)C. conversation among students, aka 'a breather' (5-10min)--> Back to A and the cycle begins anew.

Now, my students might be a little different from yours. I teach my own private classes for groups of 8-10 people—I'll explain why this is the best class size elsewhere—and my students are a mix of bright high school students and ambitious intelligent adults. Yes, it's a dream setup. No, I don't take it for granted.

So are your ideas in any way applicable to classes of bored teenagers?

I honestly don't know and I hope to never have to find out.

On a totally different note: what do you think of other teaching materials available on the web?

They suck. Every single one of them. I mean, ugh.

How exactly do they suck?

I don't even know where to start.

Take your time.

Ok. They're too academical, too smarty-pants, too precious for their own good, too marginal where they need to be practical. Need I continue?

Examples?

Oh I don't know, the meaning of imflammable, the difference between comprise and compose, shall and whom and nor and needn't, murders of crows and schools of fish, the past participle of spin, boring resumes and ticket ordering scenarios, you name it.

I see. And yours is the only one that doesn't suck.

Correct.

All right. No further questions.

Good.