Today, I was having a coffee at my favorite coffee house while working on

an essay that I'm supposed to finish and hand in by tomorrow morning.

Anyway, I took a sip and felt something in my mouth. I figured it must be a

bit of a cookie that I'd had for breakfast so I didn't worry about it at first.

Then I remembered I didn't have cookies this morning. I reached in and

took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be a huge black fly. I screamed and

threw it away as far as I could. It flew across the room and landed on the

plate of this big bald tough-looking guy. He stood up and looked at me as if

he was going to kill me. His wife

had to hold him and keep him

from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm

kind of clumsy so in the process I

also spit coffee all over my open

laptop and knocked over the cup,

spilling the rest of the coffee on

the floor. I could see the

customers mumbling to each

other, shaking their heads and

calling me a loser. The waiter

wasn't too happy either. Even

though I apologized to him repeatedly for making him mop the floor and

gave him a nice tip, I don't think I'll be welcome there for a while. Oh, and

did I mention that my laptop died and all my files got wiped out, including

the essay I was working on? And that I got an F as a result? Some days just

aren't worth getting out of bed for.

Jak uitanglitinu

pomockrtkch

pbh

I like to teach English by telling stories. I mean, I do

way more than just tell stories, but you get the idea.

Some stories I write myself, most I come across when

I least expect it. Either way, I take a lot of pride in all

of them. My students seem to enjoy learning from

them, too.

Now, make no mistake, finding good stories and

whipping them into shape is not easy. No siree.

There's not that many good stories out there and

those that you do dig up still need a lot of work before

they become presentable. So it's a challenge,

definitely. But it is so worth it.

Maybe you have tried using stories in your classes,

and it backfired for some reason or another.

Maybe you can't seem to work up the nerve to start

using stories, even though you've been meaning to,

like, for ever.

Maybe it has never occurred to you to use stories and

now you're like, huh.

Maybe you think your students would not take kindly

to the idea.

Maybe you simply think it's a stupid thing to do.

And maybe you're right.

But maybe not.

THE STORYJe znm vc, e studenti na pbhy sly. (Obvykle tedy jen na urit, akn ladn, typy pbh, to ale zatm ponechme bokem.) Pedlome-li tedy studentm srii poutavch pbh, mohli bychom od nich oekvat alespo minimln snahu z nich nco mlo pobrat. The ball's in their court, jinmi slovy.

Na nsledujcch strnkch se pokusm ilustrovat, jak typy pbh pouvm ve svch hodinch j a jak konkrtn s nimi pracuju. Jako vzor jsem vybral krtkou skicu A Huge Black Fly. Jde o jednoduchouk pbh, v nm se na vyprave v prbhu nkolika vtein sesype nkolik pohrom s vce i mn dlouhodobmi nsledky.

Today, I was having a coffee at my favorite coffeehouse while working on an essay that I'm supposed to finish and hand in by tomorrow morning. Anyway, I took a sip and felt something in my mouth. I figured it must be a bitof a cookie that I'd had for breakfast so I didn't worry about it at first. Then I remembered I didn't have cookies this morning.

I reached in and took it out of my mouth. It turned out to be a huge black fly. I screamed and threw it away as far as I could. It flew across the room and landed on the plate of this big bald tough-looking guy. He stood up and looked at me as if he was going to kill me. His wife had to hold him and keep him from beating the hell out of me.

And that's not the worst part. I'm kind of clumsy so in the process I also spit coffee all over my open laptop and knocked over the cup, spilling the rest of the coffee on the floor. I could see the customers mumbling to each other, shaking their heads and calling me a loser.

The waiter wasn't too happy either. Even thoughI apologized to him repeatedly for making him mop the floor and gave him a nice tip, I don't think I'll be welcome there for a while. Oh, and did I mention that my laptop died and all my files got wiped out, including the essay I was working on? And that I got an F as a result? Some days just aren't worth getting out of bed for.

* Pbh A Huge Black Fly lze dle mho soudu pout pro jakoukoli vkovou skupinu. Neobsahuje obskurn relie ani kulturn reference, nenajdeme v nm dn vulgarity a s popisovanmi trablemi nebude nikomu zatko se ztotonit. (Pvodn verze z webu My Life Sucks se skldala z dvou a t vt, dovolil jsem si ji upravit a vrazn nafouknout.)

Mj prvotn zmr byl (a je) pedloit pbh 12-15letm km bn, tedy nevbrov, zkladn koly, ppadn jakkoli stedn koly. Do jak mry jetato pedstava naivn, nedoku posoudit. Standardyvuky anglitiny v esku jsou ovem natolik nzk, e jejich nabourn z jakkoli strany bude myslm k dobru vci.

* pln pvodn jsem plnoval sestavit klasickou Students' Book, kterou by sebou studenti nosili a pracovali s n v hodinch (vedle n by samozejm existovala komplementrn Teacher's Book pro vyuujc). To by ale u prce s pbhy lo tko, u jen proto, e u nich dleitou roli hraje prvek pekvapen a fze prce, kdy studenti znaj text pouze z vyprvn.

NOW WHAT?

So you got yourself a nice little story (hint: look right)that you think might go over well in class. What do you do next? Well, there are basically two things that need to be done:

1. You need to know exactly how you are going to use the story. What's the sequenceof activities that'll work best? How do you keep your students from getting bored with the story? Good news is, once you figure it out, the same process can then be applied to pretty much any story. (Warning: Figuring it out may take months, if not years of trial anderror.)

2. There's some worksheets to prepare. Oh boy.

So... any questions?

Yes, one. Why do you keep switching between Czech and English here?

That's a good question. And the answer is, I don't really know. Everything sounds better in English, doesn't it? Then again, my original intention was to write all of this in Czech. Turns out I just can't help myself. I'm sorry if this is too much of an inconvenience. But hey, you teach English for a living. If anything, you should appreciate this.

THE PROCESSKad text je teba pedpipravit ze dvou stran:

a) pichystat samotn pracovn listy, s nimi se bude v hodinch pracovat; to

vyaduje hodn prce, u kadho pbhu zante odznova, a v prvn fzi je to boj;

postupem asu jde nicmn tato prce m dl lp od ruky

* vce v oddlu worksheets

b) mt rozmylen samotn proces - tedy posloupnost aktivit - rozprosten do cca

3-4 hodin * vhoda procesu, oproti worksheets, tkv v tom, e jakmile jej jednou doladte

podle svch pedstav, mete jej aplikovat na vechny nsledujc pbhy

1. INTRO + VOCAB

INTRODUCE the story (without giving away the ending or the best parts); just DROP it

into your hey-there-good-to-see-you-again speech and let them catch up

explain the vocabulary by DEFINING all of it in ENGLISH (keep explaining each phrase

until most students NOD their heads, then have them guess the correct translation)

2. CONV. INTRO + VOCAB

students RECALL the intro and define the vocabulary using REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES

and complete, well-constructed sentences (as opposed to the usual primitive "bald is

without hair / take a sip is drinking a little bit" style); all the work is done in PAIRS (this

applies to every conversation-style activity)

3. TELL STORY

just TELL the story as if it has just occurred to you

don't read from paper, try to keep it REAL and NATURAL

feel free to GESTICULATE to illustrate hard-to-grasp vocab (hand in / reach / threw etc.)

also feel free to REPEAT yourself or OVEREXPLAIN where either is called for

don't worry about SKIPPING or leaving stuff out, there will be plenty of opportunities to

catch up on it later (such as inquire/recall)

4. CONV. PUT THE STORY TOGETHER

your students' FIRST attempt at recounting the story based on what they've just heard

of course there will be GAPS and CONFUSION, that's par for the course at this point

there's no need for students to throw up their hands in despair, it's all part of the game,

make sure they are aware of that

5. INQUIRE

ask questions to make sure that EVERYONE knows the WHOLE storylittle things and

DETAILS matter, too, in fact they often carry the best bits of English

it's fun to use a different PERSPECTIVE (the bald guy, the waiter, the fly) to catch the

students off guard, thereby drawing them in and keeping them on their toes

6. CONV. SPIN-OFF

IMPROVIZED conversations loosely based on the story

make it clear that there are to be NO EXCUSES (such as "I can't think of anything else to

say" / we have said everything there is to say"; out of ideas, you say? then how come you

never shut up when you're supposed to be quiet?)

the WEIRDER the conversation, the betteras long as it's conducted in good English

7. FILL-IN / BLOW-UP / POINT-OUT

hand out the (A) version of the fill-in exercise and make your way through it one gap at a

time, stopping to EXPLAIN why this particular word makes a good fit rather than the other

one that everyone liked better (then hand out or email the B-version as homework)

alternatively, pick a bunch of GRAMMAR POINTS and explain the crap out of them

or you can just TEST the class on the best bits quickly and collectively (POINT OUT)

8. CONV. POV (FUTURE / QUESTIONS ETC.)

more discussions from various PERSPECTIVES, or QUESTION-based conversations

there's a lot of examples in the CONVERSATIONS appendix, be sure to check them out

(TIP) KICK-OFF LINES: Pro kad konverzan set-up si pipravte strhujc opening line, kterou jeden ze student rozhovor zahj. Danou vtu tsn ped zahjenm konverzace td pedneste, nae ji jeden ze student ve dvojici zopakuje a tm se konverzace rozbh. Tento krok je pnosn hned ve dvou ohledech. 1) Student, kter vodn vtu zopakuje, je rd, e nemus nic vymlet, tud je o ni docela rvaka - druh pak mus promptn reagovat, protoe by jinak byl za blbce - a u se vezou; 2) vyhnete se otravn pasi jinak pedchzejc kadmu rozhovoru: "tak kdo chce bt mn je to jedno mn taky tak j nevm j taky ne tak j budu teba ten policajt tak dobe jbud ten druh tak nco ekni ale j nevm co j taky ne"

NSLEDUJC HODINYKad pbh je dobr rozprostt do nkolika hodin. Uitel zde ovem nalapuje po velmi tenkm lan. Na jedn stran je teba, aby se nejpodstatnj obraty studentm opakovan pipomnaly a aby tito mli dost pleitost je pout. Na stran druh, poten frisson z novho pbhu nevyhnuteln brzy vyum a studenti budou mt mn a mn chuti se k nmu vracet. Je tedy nutn variovat, pichzet se zajmavmi aktivitami, a pomalu utahovat rouby.

Sm za jednu dvouhodinovku taktak stihnu probrat ve, co si pipravm. (Respektive to nestihnu nikdy.) Nedlm si proto dn iluze o tom, kolik se toho d zvldnout v prbhu klasick 45-min hodiny. U dvouhodinovek m lovk as vnovat se simultnn nkolika pbhm, kadmu v jin fzi: bhem jedn hodiny tud mete uvst nov pbh, pipomenout pbh uveden v hodin minul a jet jednou se vrtit k pbhu zped dvou hodin. Vedle toho je as na testy, vysvtlovn gramatiky a konverzace.

Tyto monosti 45-minutovka bohuel nenabz. Pokud se ti po sob jdouc hodiny dkladn vnujete jednomujedinmu pbhu, je na mst obava, e vi nmu studenti otup a bude m dl t udret si jejich pozornost. Doporuoval bych proto aktivity vztahujc se k pbhu prokldat zcela nesouvisejcmi innostmi, kdyby jen pro osven atmosfry.

HODINA DRUH, NVRAT1. RECALL 2. POINT OUT 3. CONVERSATION

RECALL: Nen od vci si pbh hned zkraje druh hodiny jet jednou pipomenout (ie. inquiry, akort

zase z jin perspektivy, protoe pro ne); jinak hroz, e absenti z minul hodiny budou mimo, a tedy

ruivm prvkem; celkov pak plat, e vichni studenti budou rdi za krtk pipomenut

POINT-OUT: Nkdy v prbhu hodiny pijde ada na dkladnj pipomnku nejpodstatnjch obrat

ty jen krtce nadhazujte, v namtkovm poad, a tda kolektivn pekld. Vbec nezakod do vt

vloit i jin, dve probran, jevy (viz 'had better' v prvnm pkladu). Nen nutn pekldat cel vty,

studenti rychle odtu, kter sek je podstatn

jak byste ekli: ne abys to rozlil --> spill! ... nejdv jsem to nechpal --> at first! ... pestoe jsem byl

posledn --> even though! ... nikdo t nenutil tam chodit --> make you go! ...

Dejte pozor, aby si nejpokroilej studenti neuzurpovali vechny peklady pro sebe. Pokud tomu nelze

zamezit, dejte alespo slabm jedincm as ve vstebat. Pipomnejte studentm, e se mus ptt na

vci, kter jim nedvaj smysl, i kdyby byli ve td jedin.

CONV.: vyut MUST-USE sheet? dt improvizovan dialog? zapojit marana? monosti tu jsou

HODINA TET1. POINT OUT INDIVIDUALLY 2. CONVERSATION

POINT-OUT: Vyuijte stejnch obrat jako v kolektivnm point-outu z minul hodiny, tentokrt ale

bte od studenta ke studentovi a kadmu zadejte jeden i vce obrat na bleskov peklad (adekvtn

jejich rovni, bute milosrdn). Vdom, e budou pravideln a nevyhnuteln vyvolvni ped celou

tdou by mohlo nkter jednotlivce dohnat k extrmnm krokm, napklad tomu, e by se zaali uit.

CONV: hdka mezi mouchou a nkem? dv vdmy? pohebn e? podmnkov vty? televizn interview?

So far I have been a little heavy on the theory and light on the practice. Let me remedy that.

INTRO

Here's one way you can open the class * there's a different take in the EXTRAS appendix

So... you know how sometimes you're having a drink or just sipping soda or something ... and

suddenly you feel like something's wrong ... like, there was something in that drink that you

swallowed and now it's in your mouth ... and it could be something totally harmless such as a

piece of food ... but it could also be something else, like a fly or a spider ... so anyway, earlier

today I was having a coffee and something like this happened to me ... let me tell you about it,

but first let's take a look at some vocabulary that you are going to need:

VOCAB

take a sip ... there are several kinds of drinking ... when you're really thirsty, after playing

some sports maybe, and you get a beer, you just knock it back quickly ... but if you're having a

quiet evening with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, you just take little sips, because that's

how those drinks are supposed to be taken * esky ani ne tak "usrkvat / srkat" jako spe

"popjet / trochu se napt"

reach ... so you're at a store, ok ... and you ask to pay with a credit card ... and you're told that

they don't actually take credit cards ... and you need to pay cash ... you remember that you

had put some bills or coins in one of your pants pockets earlier ... so you reach into your right

pocket first to see if that's where the money is... ok, now you get it

bald ... at a certain point in our lives, we all have full heads of hair, like in our teens or

twenties ... then later some of that hair starts falling out, that's especially true with men ...

and sometimes all of it falls out and then that person becomes bald ... right, that's pretty

obvious, huh ... anyway, some guys are ashamed of being bald and they try to hide it, but

frankly, it's nothing to be ashamed of, in fact it looks kind of cool

+ beat the hell out of sb clumsy knock over

spill mumble mop tip wipe st out

STORY

And here's how you can launch the story itself later on. Once again: no preparation, no

introduction, just plop it in:

So I'm sitting at this caf, right. I love coming here. It's quiet and everyone just minds

their own business and the waiters are really nice. And I love the coffee, too. But this time

I'm not here to enjoy my coffee. This time I'm here to work. I have a laptop with me and

I'm typing on it. The reason I'm working is that I have an essay to finish and the essay

needs to be handed in by tomorrow morning and if I don't finish it today I'll be in big

trouble. So I'm typing and sipping coffee and suddenly I feel like there's something in my

mouth and I figure...

INQUIRY / RECALL

OPTION 1: GUY (PAST) So I was having dinner with my wife, and we were having a good

time... let me ask you this: what do I look like? (You are bald and tough-looking.) ---

OPTION 2: THE FLY (FUTURE) So... whose plate am I going to land on? (Some guy's.)

All right. Is he going to be happy to see me? (No.) How come? (Because you're a fly.) What's

the big deal? (People don't like to see flies in their food.) Why is that? ---

OPTION 2: THE WAITER (PRESENT) So... I have just finished mopping the floor,

which I generally hate doing, and I'm glad I got it done. Now I won't have to do it again until

tomorrow... Right? Right? (No.) What do you mean, no? (You will have to mop again.) You

have got to be kidding me. What's going to happen? ---

OPTION 1 *EXTENDED VERSION* So I'm having dinner with my wife, right, and

we're having a good time... by the way, what do I look like? (You are bald and tough-

looking.) Right. So suddenly something lands on my plate, something that doesn't belong

there. What is it? (Fly.) A fly. (A fly.) Ok. And it didn't just drop out of thin air. Someone

threw it. Who was it? (Some man.) A guy. (Yes, a guy.) So I have a bit of a temper, right,

meaning I get upset easily. And this definitely pissed me off. Right? (Right.) Ok. So did I kill

the guy? (No.) What stopped me? (Your wife.) If she hadn't been there, would I have killed

the guy? (Maybe.) Oh, I absolutely would have. Anyway, ...

CONVERSATIONS

This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. You need to come up with ways for students to recount the story repeatedly without losing interest. In other words, you need to be very very creative. In yet other words, you got your work cut out for you. Lucky for you, I got one or two tricks up my sleeve that I'm wiling to share with you.

OSOBYpostavy, z jejich perspektivy lze pbh vyprvt:

VYPRAV, pochopiteln NEZASTNN POZOROVATEL, popisuje dj zven (zde) MOUCHA, protoe pro ne (zde) BALD GUY / HIS WIFE / WAITER, pi troe pedstavivosti

ASOV RMEC MINULOST, nejastj, nejpirozenj, nejproflklej BUDOUCNOST, z pohledu lovka, kter v/tu, k emu dojde PTOMNOST, popis aktuln probhajcho dje, vetn predikc

KOMBINACE *PKLADYYOU AND I, ideln typ vyprvn, kdy se oba studenti doplujTV MODERTOR NEZASTNN P., ncvik otzekVDMA MATKA VYPRAVE, konverzace o budoucnostiMOUCHA NK, in medias res

Podrobn vet vech monch kombinac, permutac, perspektiv a konverzanch styl najdete v ploze doporuuju nahldnout.

NEDJOV VYPRVN, KONVERZAN DOVEDNOSTI

Nejen djem iv je lovk: vtina kadodennch konverzac se to kolem nvrh,posteh, dohad a podobn; na popis aknch scn zas tak asto nedochz

NVRHY A BRAINSTORMING* clem je nauit studenty pouvat spojen typu why don't we... / what if I... / are you suggesting that...? / you'd better not... / you might want to... / I don't think you should... / if I were you... / then again, ... / let's not... / actually I'd rather... / sounds good / that could work* aby neszeli pouze na provaen maybe you can / maybe we could / it is a very good idea

HDKY A SPORY* you have got to be kidding me! / what a horrible thing to say! / I don't think so / what makes you think that? / what were you thinking?! / come on, that's not true! / why the hell would you do that?!* it is horrible! / I think it is not possible! / it is not a very good idea!

POCITY: RADOST, ZKLAMN, ZMATEK* but how come you didn't...? / I wonder if... / I can't believe they... / what an amazing story! / you did such a great job... / it's such a relief

VITKY A LTOST* I wish I knew how to fight... / we shouldn't have told them / it was stupid of me to... / what was I thinking trying to...? / next time I'm going to have to be more... / I can't believe I didn't even ...

STUDENTS' WORKSHEETSFILL-IN A+B: doplovaka typu mezera=slovo, kde vtina mezer vyaduje jedno konkrtn slovo (a pokud ne, pak je vloena npovda) ideln pro prvn obeznmen s psanou podobou textu (A),nslednou domc lohu (B) a konen postupn prochzen v hodin s uitelovm vkladem (pro zde mus/m bt prv toto jedno slovo a dn jin)

*** nejjednodu na ppravu a skvl na vysvtlovn gramatiky; dkladn doplnn jedn strnky s krtkm vkladem u kad mezery vm me klidn zabrat i celou hodinu ikovn se pitom poukazuje na klasick chyby, jich se studenti bn dopout (a kter nejsp nasekali v domc loze)

MUST-USE: clem tohoto listu je donutit studenty k pevyprvn pbhu za pouit nejzajmavjch obrat; respektive zabrnit tomu, aby pbh podvali zjednoduenou, a primitivn, anglitinou (so some man drink coffee and something is in his mouth and he think it's cookie but it's fly so he throw it and it fly to plate of some other man and...)

*** nejvc prce, ale urit se vyplat; pitom kdy se studenti sna sestavit vty kolem pedpsanch obrat a gramatik mte monost chodit po td, zastavovat se u jednotlivch dvojic a opravovat individuln chyby, na kter by jinak pi kolektivn prci teba nedolo

PSYCH-OUT : v prvn fzi prce s textem se studentm nejdleitj obraty pipomnaj pomoc point-out, tedy jen slovn a krtce, nicmn opakovan; ty nejdleitj z nich si pak najdou cestu do psych-out sheet, kter slou jako dlouhodob pipomnka postupn odplouvajcch znalost, pout jej lze i jako homework sheet, aby si studenti procviili peklady doma

*** pomrn pracn, but remember: this is for the long haul, k vtm se mete (mli byste) v rznch podobch vracet jet msce, proto dporuuju dt si na nich zleet a do kad z nich pihodit jet jednu gramatiku navc (namsto "pestoe nic nevm" dt teba "pestoe se o tom nemme bavit",aby si studenti navc pipomnli existenci "be supposed to")

* Pracovn listy pro studenty i pro uitele najdete v ploze

TEACHER'SWORKSHEETSREADSHEET: pbh vytitn velkm fontem jako pomcka pi samotnm vyprvn

NOTES / IDEAS: pbh vytitn menm fontem s vyznaenmi BEST BITS a prostorem pro dopisovn poznmek

INTRO / VOCAB / STORY / INQUIRY INTRO / STORY: prvnch pr vt vyprvn je make-or-break - mete jimi okamit pozornost student nebo naopak cel pbh zabt a odsoudit k nespchu *** I will now tell you a story about a man who is drinking coffee and he drinks a fly but he thinks it is a cookie... * So I'm sitting at this coffee house, right, and I'm nervous as hell because I'm on a deadline... VOCAB: i slovn zsobu lze vysvtlit tak, aby se studenti nenudili; pomoc pklad ze ivota definujte 3-6 slov/obrat v kuse, dokud je studenti ve sv vtin neodkvaj, a pot spolen najdtenejlep ekvivalent pro kad z obrat *** take a sip = usrknout / trochu se napt INQUIRY: kad pbh je po prvotnm vyprvn poteba jet jednou a dvakrt pipomenout - ne kad napoprv vechno pochyt, e ano; ptte se tak, aby na sebe otzky logicky navazovaly, studenti odpovdaj, vy je opravujete - vsledkem je, e vichni ve v, co umon pesun k dalm aktivitm

POINT-OUT (BEST BITS): clem vyprvn nen, aby se studenti dovdli pointu pbhu neboaby se pobavili; clem je, aby se nemu piuili; proto je teba jim nejdleitj obraty z textu znovu a znovu pipomnat, nejlpe pomoc rznch typ test; nsledn pak doufat, e si jich takto co nejvce zaij a budou s to je asem sami spontnn pouvat

BLOW-UP (GRAMMAR): nkter obraty i gramatiky stoj za obrnj vklad; i pro studentyje ostatn poutavj, pokud gramatika vychz z njakho pbhu, ne kdy vypadne ze vzduchoprzdna uebnicov lekce

CONVERSATIONS: jednm z prubskch kamen nov nabytch znalost jsou konverzace (v prech) bhem nich se uke, zda jsou studenti s to pevyprvt pbh, s jeho obsahem jsou obeznmeni, zda tent obsah dovedou zasadit do jinch asovch souvislost a povyprvt jej z pohledu jin osoby, a zda dok z ist vody zimprovizovat zajmavou konverzaci