hv a call to men - ngo caribbean

A Call to Men

Support for men to stop being abusiveand support for their families to stay safe

Jonathan [email protected]

Port Of Spain, Trinidad, December 2014

SPLITZ Support Service

HV

Aims

To have an understanding of: What Domestic Violence between partners is –

and isn't Why we should work with men who are being

abusive What a good practice model of this work looks like Some of the methods and tools of this work

To start thinking about how this could look in Trinidad & Tobago

What would you like to get out of these two days?

Exercise 1

Definition of Domestic Violence

'Domestic Violence includes physical, sexual, emotional or psychological or financial abuse

committed by a person against a spouse, child, any other person who is a member of the

household or dependant'

Domestic Violence Act of Trinidad & Tobago (1999)

Domestic Violence is...

systematic patterned behaviour designed consciously or sub-consciously to control and dominate a partner or a former

partner

Domestic Violence is not...

a minor tiff or an occasional heated argument loss of temper or self-control caused by alcohol and/or drugs

Types of Violence Between Intimate Partners (based on Johnson, 2008)

Violence as part of a pattern of coercive control in a relationship, where one partner tries to control their partner in different ways, that can include physical violence or the threat of violence (Intimate Terrorism)

Violence that both partners use towards each other when arguing (Situational Couple Violence)

Violence used by a partner as defence when he or she has previously been the victim of ongoing violence and coercive control in the relationship (Victim Retaliation)

Which of the following characteristics is most commonly found in perpetrators of domestic violence?

a) fear of abandonmentb) a belief in entitlementc) poor impulse controld) low self-esteem

Answer

b) a belief in entitlement(The Batterer as Parent, Bancroft, 2002)

Characteristics of Perpetrators

Superiority Ownership/PossessionEntitlement ManipulativeSometimes ability to perform under observationContradictory statements and behavioursExternalisation of responsibilityMinimisation, denial and victim-blamingSerial abuseConfusion of love and control

Biderman's Chart of CoercionSpiralling

Isolation

Exhaustion Threats Humiliation Control or Distort Perceptions Demonstrating Superiority or Power Enforcing Trivial Demands Occasional indulgences

BreakPatrick Stewart

Why work with perpetrators? 1 in 3 women experience physical violence within an

intimate relationship, at some stage in their lives 2 women per week are murdered by a current or

former partner (in UK – how many in T & T?) Domestic Violence is a child protection issue Domestic Violence is closely linked to mental health

issues Where there is violence there is almost always sexual

abuse of women There are strong links between the sexual abuse of

women and the sexual abuse of children

Why should we work with perpetrators?

Your response and your example to the community matters

Your influence could contribute as much as any other to a safer community

If we can change the behaviour of these men we can have a wider impact than approaches that focus entirely on establishing safety

Model of Best Practice Holding the perpetrator responsible for his actions

- visible, accountable and responsible Monitor behaviour - ongoing risk assessments Put women and children in touch with women's

safety worker so no longer isolated Joint working with Police, child protection, alcohol

and drug agencies and other agencies – a coordinated community approach

Agencies get trained Programme of behaviour change Evaluation

Most important!

THE SECRET IS OUT

Also....

We might be part of the problem...

Dutton's Nested Ecological Model

Ontogenetic Level(Individual characteristics or perpetrators personal circumstances)

Microsystem(Family unit or immediate environment)

Exosystem(Immediate surrounding social structures supporting domestic abuse, e.g. workplace, pub)

Macrosystem(Broad attitudes and beliefs of wider culture)

Aims of the Programme

To promote and ensure safety of victims and their children

To prevent/mitigate the risk of re-offending Promote change in abusive/harmful behaviour Work collaboratively with other agencies to

manage risk constructively

Influences

DuluthPro-feminist theory

CBTSocial Learning TheoryGood Lives Model

Motivational Interviewing

Duluth

Developed in Duluth, Minnesota in 1980 – and still going strong!

The Duluth Model was the first to outline multi-disciplinary procedures to protect and advocate for victims

Development of a Coordinated Community Response Discovered “Anger Management” with domestic

abuse perpetrators can increases risk for victims Developed Curriculum based on the experiences of

victims

Pro-feminist Theory“Domestic violence is a consequence of patriarchy, and part of a

systematic attempt to maintain male dominance in the home and in society. Typically, violence against women is explained in terms of a power struggle, for feminists argue that in a patriarchal society, those with all the power -males—must resort to violence when their position of dominance is threatened.”- Steven R. Tracy

“Patriarchy is not responsible for an individual husband’s violent action toward his wife. It does, however, create an environment ripe for abuse. A weakened immune system does not create the virus that leads to deadly infection, but it provides the environment in which the virus can thrive and do its killing. Patriarchal beliefs weaken the marital system so that the deadly virus of violence can gain a stronghold.”- Cynthia Ezell

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

(Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy – see also Cognitive Therapy)

Emotional disturbances (and the behaviour they lead to) are the Consequences of

Beliefs (B) about

Adverse (or Activating) events (A)

Central to CBT approach is a focus on BELIEFS

(and linking them to behaviour)

We explain how this works We examine underlying beliefs during

dialogues with men We use specific tools to help explore beliefs

(we'll look at this more tomorrow) We use educational materials around men's

commonly held shared beliefs e.g. The Man Box

Tony Porter

Influences (continued)

DuluthPro-feminist theory

CBTSocial Learning TheoryGood Lives Model


Social Learning Theory

“Behaviour is learned from the environment through the process of observational learning. Humans are active information processors and think about the relationship between their behaviour and its consequences. The degree of which behaviour continually executed depends on whether this behaviour is either reinforced or punished by others. Observational learning could not occur unless cognitive processes were at work.”

Albert Bandura

Good Lives Model

Ward & Stewart (2003) argue:

“the most effective way to reduce risk is to give individuals the necessary conditions to lead better lives (‘good lives’) than to simply teach them how to minimise their chances of being incarcerated.”


What is the cycle of change?

Different stages, different interventions

The need to work with both partners

RISK!

Lunch break

Any questions?

A model for this work Holding the perpetrator responsible for his actions -

visible, accountable and responsible Monitor behaviour - ongoing risk assessments Put women and children in touch with women's

safety worker so no longer isolated Joint working with Police, child protection, alcohol

and drug agencies and other agencies – a coordinated community approach

Agencies get trained Programme of behaviour change Evaluation

Essential Roles in teamsworking with perpetrators

Women's Safety Work

Case Manager/Co-ordinator

Facilitator/Individual worker

Women's Safety Work Key Tasks Safety planning Providing information to women:

– regarding perpetrator work– about her partner's attendance

Facilitation of referrals to local services Risk management Evaluation of change – and providing this

information to other team members Contribution to co-ordinated community

response

Case Manager/Co-ordinator Key Tasks

Ongoing risk assessment Keeping contact with the man whilst on programme Motivating him and reinforcing learning Monitoring man's attendance at group or individual

sessions Evaluate and act on information which affects victim

or child safety Progress reviews with facilitators Completion of tasks and from missed sessions

Facilitator/Session WorkerKey Tasks

Keeping the man focused on the issues of violence, abuse, control, entitlement and change

Facilitate reflective and critical thinking Maintain compassionate and challenging culture – not

collusive Provide information and teach non-controlling

relationship skills Facilitate a healthy process Contribute to an inter-agency effort to hold

participants accountable for further acts of violence

Working with the abuser

Involves: Helping men understand why they use violent and

abusive behaviour and the effects of this behaviour on victims, children, others and self

To encourage men to take responsibility for their abusive and violent behaviour in relationships

To motivate men to take specific, positive steps to change their behaviour in their relationships

To encourage men how to use non-controlling behaviour strategies in their relationships in order to prevent future violence and abuse

Structure of a Group Work Programme

(Duluth and IDAP)

Nine Modules: Non Violence Non Threatening

Behaviour Respect Support and Trust Accountability and

Honesty

Sexual RespectPartnershipResponsible ParentingNegotiation and

Fairness

Structure of a Group Work Programme (Duluth & IDAP)

continued....

These themes are examined using a three session process

Week 1 – Defining a theme Week 2 – Examining the abuse Week 3 – Exploring, learning and practising

non-controlling behaviour strategies

Structure of a Group Work Programme (Splitz)

Five Modules:

Module A – Physical Abuse Module B – Sexual Respect Module C – Emotional Abuse Module D – The impact on Children Module E – Rebuilding Trust and Respect


Structure of a Group Work Programme continued...

First week – Defining the theme

Middle weeks – Exploring the theme, learning and practising relevant tools and strategies

Last week – Going back over and summarising what has been learnt


Who is the group for? (Splitz & other non-court ordered

programmes)

The group is for men who are abusive in their relationships and who are motivated to change their abusive behaviour

Most men self refer The relevant (ex)partners are always offered

support from our Women's Safety Worker

Acceptance Criteria

The man must agree to provide contact details for his (ex)partner so that the Women's Safety Worker can offer a support service to her

The man must agree to attend the programme voluntarily and recognise that there is a problem with his relationship or previous relationship

The man must be 21 years or olderThe man must not be due to attend court or be

undergoing criminal proceedings

Pre-Group Assessment

One or more pre-group assessments are completed prior to commencing the group.Each assessment session can take around 3 hours

Occasionally men are seen one-to-one prior to attending the group

The men sign a contract prior to starting the group

Referral Process

The men refer themselves to the programme Voluntary participation is paramount and helps

us assess his motivation to change hisbehaviour

He may be signposted to the programme through another agency. If an agency wishes to signpost the service, we would ask them to suggest that the man contacts the project co-ordinator direct.

Risk Assessment

The assessment includes a very comprehensive risk assessment which has to be completed prior to the man starting the group

There are ongoing risk assessments involving the Coordinator, the Women's Safety Worker and the Group Facilitators. The safety of women and children is paramount

Format for the Group

Each session is 2 hours long – with a tea break about midway. The group is in two sections:

A check-in which is a brief update from each man – focusing on their behaviour within the relationship during the preceding week

This is followed by the module work for the session

1 to 1 support and feedback

At the end of each module a report is completed by the 2 group leaders, which is later shared with the men.

At the end of each module each group member completes a questionnaire on how he thinks the group is going and how the group could be developed etc.

There is a 1 to 1 meeting every module to look at their individual action plan, to ascertain level of progress and to continue to develop non-controlling behaviours

Some of the tools we use in the group sessions

Power and Control vs. Equality wheels The Power Pyramid Fair arguing, assertiveness, aggression and

passivity The use of time-outs and self-talk Anger and poor emotional literacy and

communication Control logs

Some of the tools we use in the group sessions…continued

Taking women's perspectives Videos and scenarios (in conjunction with other

tools) Role play & Skills practice Handouts about non-controlling behaviour and

other educational handouts (e.g around children's needs)

Power & Control vs. Equality Wheels

Power & control and violence & the threat of violence as part of an overall pattern of abuse

The Equality WheelWhat are we aiming for?

The Power Pyramid

A tool for analysing the impact and motivations for actions

Assertiveness

Not being aggressive doesn't mean

becoming passive

Time outs and self-talk

Creating an agreed time out plan Knowing how to calm yourself Becoming aware of the self-talk that serves to

escalate disagreement and finding and using alternatives

Communication and emotional literacy

Becoming more aware of how communicating occurs and finding other ways to do this

Becoming more aware of the range of emotions that are experienced and finding adequate ways to deal with them – they don't need to lead to anger

Control Logs

A way to analyse situations in order to: Become more aware of what happens Look at the intentions, thoughts & emotions

involved See how behaviour is rooted in beliefs that can be

discussed and questioned Become aware of how responsibility is avoided

through minimisation, denial and blame Become aware of the impact of abuse now and in

the context of past abuse Examine alternative ways to behave

Control Log

Actions Intentions Beliefs Feelings Minimisation, Denial and Blame Effects The use of past violence Non-Controlling behaviour

Dealing with Denial“I didn't do it, but if I did I had a good reason”

Minimization, Denial, and Attributions of Blame Among Male and Female Domestic Violence Offenders

Kris Henning, Angela R Jones, Robert Holdford

One in five men denied that there was even an argument with their spouse/partner and most of the men indicated that the

victim and police reports on the incident were inaccurateA majority of the men minimised the severity of their offence by indicating that the situation was 'blown way out of proportion', that nobody was hurt during the incident and that the police intervention was unnecessary because it was a simple family argument

“I didn't do it, but if I did I had a good reason”:Minimization, Denial, and Attributions of Blame

Among Male and Female Domestic Violence Offenders

Kris Henning, Angela R Jones, Robert Holdford One in five men denied that there was even an

argument with their spouse/partner and most of the men indicated that the victim and police reports on the incident were inaccurate

A majority of the men minimised the severity of their offence by indicating that the situation was 'blown way out of proportion', that nobody was hurt during the incident and that the police intervention was unnecessary because it was a simple family argument

Half of the men reported that they were defending themselves against an attack initiated by their partner

Most of the men attributed greater blame for the recent conflict to characteristics of their partner rather than their own personal attributes

Stages of Change

Pre contemplation Contemplation Preparation Action Maintenance Lapse

Cycle of ChangeProchaska & Diclemente

What is the cycle of change?

Different stages different interventions

Rolling with resistance – but avoiding colluding

What is Motivational Interviewing?

Style of working which helps create direction

It builds momentum towards change

It addresses conflict without arguing

It creates a belief that change is possible

Principles of Motivational Interviewing

Express empathy

Develop discrepancy

Avoid argument

Roll with resistance

Support self-responsibility

The Group Culture

A supportive environment is created where men are encouraged to speak openly

This provides a context in which they can be challenged by us

There are always men at different stages of the programme. They are encouraged to support and challenge each other

Group Diversity

Men come from a wide range of different backgrounds.

This can be beneficial because it allows them to recognise underlying and shared patterns and can be supportive in developing empathic skills

It also presents challenges. There can be misunderstandings and some men have far wider problems, for example, broader issues around violence and chaotic lifestyles

Expected Outcomes

Take responsibility for their use of violence and abusive behaviour in their relationships.

Are able to identify the beliefs and intents that underpin their abusive behaviour.

Acknowledge the effect of their behaviour in their (ex)partners, children and others.

Be taking positive steps to change their relationships using the tools provided

Developing Critical Thinking

The Problem-Solving Method is described as follows:

'This method starts from the life situation and reality of people. Their life situation is made in a problem-posing situation. The method concentrates on showing people that they have the right to ask questions on the hows and whys, that they have the right to find out about causes and influences in their lives.'

Carien Fritz – The Theory of Paolo Freire


Critical Thinking

'Critical thinking is a form of judgement specifically purposeful and reflective judgement. Using critical thinking one makes a decision or solves the problem of judging what to believe or what to do, but does so in a reflective way.'

Wikipedia


The Praxis

Non-Controlling Behaviour

Time out Positive self-talk Coping with jealousy Letting go Acknowledging women's fear Accepting women's anger Communicating thoughts and feelings Accepting criticism

Non-Controlling Behaviour continued...

Recognising anger cues Using assertive behaviour Being aware of non-verbal cues Not needing to win and non-violent conflict-resolution Problem solving Learning to listen Challenging sexism and violence against women Understanding power

Five Steps To EmotionManagement

1) Recognise the physical signs

2) Calming

3) Recognise thoughts

4) Challenge thoughts

5) Replace thoughts

Setting up work with perpetrators-

Two Main Tasks

Development and implementation of supporting environment for perpetrator work

Implementation and delivery of individual/group work for perpetrators

hv a call to men - ngo caribbean

Documents