I AM A GIRL (worktitle)

Artistic reflections of the personal journey of Adel Onodi, who was born in a boy's body

and went through the whole physical and emotional process of the transformation, step-by-

step, becoming a girl, inside and out.

Photo installation

Performance

Song

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Contact info: iamagirlperformance@gmail.com (in German, English or Hungarian)

+49 176 2580 2481 (Csilla Szabo, in English, in German, in Hungarian)

Forster str 41, 10999 Berlin, Germany, Csilla Szabo

Participating artists: Adel Onodi, performer and singer debutée

born in 1995, Hungary, lives and works in Berlin, Germany

www.facebook.com/adelonodii adelonodi31@gmail.com

Gormann str 17a, 10119 Berlin +49 177 1901564 (HU)

Csilla Szabo, photographer

born in 1979, Hungary, lives and works in Berlin, Germany

www.csillaszabo.com csillaszabophotography@gmail.com

Forster str 41, 10999 Berlin +49 176 25802481 (DE, EN, HU)

Imola Nagy, dancer, supervisor of movement

born in 1991, Hungary, lives and works in Berlin, Germany

Chausseestrasse 35B, 10115 Berlin imolanagy91@gmai.com

+49 151 29455012 (EN, HU)

Venue: Berlin

Date: 2018

Photo installation: A series of intimate photographs of Adel Onodi, from the portraits to the

nudes, made by Csilla Szabo. Black and white analog, large scale photo

murals to be exhibited, giving a scenery to the performance.

Performance: A solo movement performance by Adel Onodi, which she develops together

with Imola Nagy, who will be the supervisor of movement.

The body changes, so that it could match the soul. Adel's journey of coming

closer to her identity in a movement performance, that also invites verbal

and visual manifestations in other art disciplines.

Song: A song to celebrate the end of the journey. Adel Onodi sings.

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Project description

Photo Installation

“The other day I was remembering how, as a child I always had to prove and convince people that I'm not a

monster. To keep my inner balance, when they wanted to convince me I was a monster, but I knew and I felt

I wasn't. To hold onto this inner strength as a child, and also now as an adult, is very difficult. Now what I

have to prove is that, with all the differences, I'm just the same as anybody else. And I'm also a woman, like

all the other women. Everyone is different.” (detail from Adel's diary)

Intimate photographs of Adel from the portraits to the nudes. Adel came to me with the wish that she would

like to have a series of honest photographs of her, to show her without boundaries. She is coming from a

country where most know very little about transgender people and they fear them, and sadly have prejudices

against them. Now she is in Berlin, where people are much more educated and open minded – at least on

the surface, but in reality here as well she faces difficulties and still people take her as a special creature.

The goal of this series is to show her as she is, to prove that with all her differences she is one of the people,

one of the women, not more, not less. Through several photo shoots, photographer and model work together

equally to build up a body of work based on the organic connection between the two participants. It is also

important to capture Adel through this intimate process guided by intuition rather than concepts or rigid

aesthetical ideas. It is necessary to leave behind the commonly accepted rules of beauty created by the

mainstream media. Even though the finished work will present her as a woman finding her own femininity,

the focus of the collaboration is to capture and show her as authentic as she is.

The photographs are carried out in the analog domain, all pictures are shot on film and the final prints are

hand-made silver gelatin large-scale photo murals.

Performance

“When I began the transformation and I got the first portion of hormones, I was so excited, I almost got a

heart attack. But after that, for months, it was really difficult, when me myself could not feel nor decide if I

was a man or a woman. It is an experience I don't wish to anyone. Then the day of the castration arrived.

After that I really felt that the cleansing had began, how my body was cleaner by day, as the testosterone

was vanishing from my body” (detail from Adel's diary)

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One can look at Adél’s story, her lifeline from many different perspectives. Questions around transgenderism

make it an important topic of present times. Besides the size of the matter, it is a personal life experience for

her, similar to the one we all have. We are working on expressing her journey of pairing her body to her inner

self, while enabling the viewer to relate to this raw and human story in a natural way. Movement can be the

most honest way of expressing. As the body itself stands in the focus of her story, we found movement-

based performance an adequate format to work with.

We start the creating process by focusing on movement improvisation, contact improvisation and give space

to Adél to recognize her way of self-expression by her body’s movement capacities. I (Imola Nagy,

movement supervisor) will accompany Adél to regular dance events, namely improvisation jams, contact

improvisation classes, body-mind centering classes. We will use simple tasks to embody shapes, feelings,

memories by improvised dance.

Through regular meetings me and Adél are going to develop her physical abilities and work on her somatic

expression.

Adél’s written lifeline will serve us as guideline in the next steps of creation. We are going to trigger all the

senses of her body, related to a past situation or event of her life, talk and improvise with it. As we go

deeper, I believe, that decent amount of movement material will gather. Selected life event-related

movement materials will be remade, further discussed and optionally paired up with actions of other art

disciplines to create more complex, multi-layered scenes. We are considering to use verbal texts, screening

and to work with Csilla’s photographic material in the performance.

Song

“Today is Women's day: this is the day when I got the confirmation of the application of name and sex

change. From today on finally I can live as a woman, as Adel.” (detail from Adel's diary)

At the end of the performance - as a closing piece -, there will be a song written and performed by Adel. The

song's aimed genre is acapella, with influences from folk and jazz music.

The performing of the song will be symbolizing the action of stepping out to life.

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Short bios and portfolios

Adel Onodi was born in 1995 in a small town in the south of

Hungary, as Egon Onodi and already in the very young age she

felt different from the others. Not only she was born in a boy's

body with a girl's soul but she was also very interested in the arts.

These two paths can already be difficult separately, but together

and especially in the country side of an East-European country is

a tough life to take on.

Parallel to her transformation she was also looking for ways to

teach herself in the performing arts, she has taken acting, dancing

and singing lessons as early as 14 years old. Between 2014 and

2016 she studied in the Premier Art School in Budapest, and

during her studies she monthly performed with her class. In 2015

she performed in the play Starfactory in Pannon Varszinhaz

Theater, Veszprem.

In the spring of 2017 she has applied to the Hungarian Theater and Film Academy, where in the last round

the only excuse not to accept her as a student was her being transgender (which she got to know later, not

through official channels). Her home country is not ready for her yet. By this time living already in the capital,

Budapest, she became an activist, one of the faces and voices of different organizations that deal with the

LGBTQI community. After the reconstructive surgery following her dream to become an actress and singer,

she moved to Berlin in 2017. Currently she is diligently learning the German language, and is also taking

acting, dancing and singing lessons.

Statement:

“It is simple why it is important for me to be a trans activist and fulfill this project: I couldn't be an actress and

singer in Hungary. I have been told that I can work in a theater but only behind the scenes. Be invisible. I

cannot accept this now or ever. I don't want to feel being pushed back in all the segments of my life, let it be

carrier, finding a flat or dating. Now I live in Berlin and it is a lot more different here to be trans although I

face everyday problems here, too.

I consider myself an activist and an emerging artist and I don't want to leave Hungary completely behind just

because I have faced a lot of rejection there. I continuously participate in ongoing LGBTQI projects in

Hungary, and I hope that with this performance-collaboration I can step on the stage not just here in Berlin

but in my home country too. Not hiding but showing my true self and talent to the world, politically as an

activist, and artistically as a performer as well.”

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Recent and ongoing projects, achievements:

• FilmDocumentary – Portrait of Adel Onodi'Director: Robert Papp , Cameraman: Krisztian Pusztai2018 autumn – ongoing, Budapest

Documentary about Adel Onodi, following her life story by her telling it from herchildhood until nowadays, while visiting significant places in her life. Also following herrecent achievements in present.

• VideoTASZ – Hungarian Civil Liberties Union2017, autumn, Budapest

The Union is a leading non-governmental organization in the field of human rightsand harm reduction advocacy in Hungary. After I was harassed for being a transgirl, they have taken my case and are now representing me legally – this video isabout the case in detail.

• Article'Onodi Adel' author: Marton NemenyiNok Lapja, 27.10.2017,Budapest

“Mom, if I don't get a female body, I'm going to die”

• Articleauthor: Bence GyulaiVelvet, 29.10.2017, Budapest

Following the legal case of the harassment, Velvet Magazine interviewed me aboutthe case and in general my life and the difficulties I had been through.

• Campaign'Uni-Form campaign by Hatter Society'Budapest2017 autumn

I am one of the faces for the campaign of Hatter Society - one of the largest LGBTQINGOs in Hungary -, that deals with victims of transphobic violence in need ofsupport.

• Musical for theaterStarfactory, directed by Laszlo VandorfiPannon Varszinhaz Theater, Veszprem, Hungary, 2016, spring

I was acting in this theater piece, which was based on the storyline of an imaginarytalent show.

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Short bios and portfolios

Csilla Szabó, fine art photographer and analogue B&W

printer, born in Budapest, lives and works in Berlin.

After studying photography in Budapest, she moved to

Berlin where, in 2007, she became the apprentice of fine-

arts photographer Jeff Cowen, a position she held for many

years. While there, she was trained in the art of traditional

silver black-and-white printing of large-format photographs

on a masterful level, including learning numerous

alternative processes.

She then became a professional printer; over the past few years she has printed exhibitions for international

artists such as Antanas Sutkus and Arja Hyytiainen. She also conducts printing and portfolio workshops in

her darkroom in Berlin.

Parallel to her commissioned printing work, she’s been diligently creating her own photographic works of art.

Recently, she has participated in several exhibitions, and her works can be found in different art collections

such as that of the Ritz Carlton Hotel Budapest and in private collections in New York, Paris, Hong-Kong,

Berlin, and Budapest.

Artist statement:

“I work with analogue cameras and shoot black and white film. My attention has turned towards

photographing abstract still lifes, or rather, I find myself taking pictures of light itself, using objects to capture

the play of light and shadow and the visual rhythm between these two siblings, the sometimes faded border

between them, their reflections, opacities. Play is essential to my practice. I am continually falling in love with

shapes, forms, beautifully broken things.

My working method is essentially divided between working with my 35mm camera, and with subjects ready,

staged by others or by chance outside; and work in the studio’s controlled atmosphere with my 4×5” Linhof

Technika, where I often spend hours arranging and rearranging the photographed objects until they reveal a

certain reflection of my own eye.

I approach my subjects with an analytic attitude, later creating larger-than-life-sized images of tiny wonders

in the darkroom. In this way I am able to showcase the minute details invisible to the naked eye, revealing a

hidden world that speaks in the intuitive language of emotion, unlike its hardened opponent, the intellect. My

intention is to slow down the viewer, to get them lost in the details, by following patterns and forms that the

mysterious phenomenon of light inevitably draws.”

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Recent achievements:

• Exhibition'Photographic works'StilSpiel Designraum, Berlin2016 spring

'(...) My working method is essentially divided between working with my 35mmcamera, and with subjects ready, staged by others or by chance outside; and work inthe studio’s controlled atmosphere with my 4×5” Linhof Technika, where I often spendhours arranging and rearranging the photographed objects until they reveal a certainreflection of my own eye. (...)'

• Photographs are part of the collection ofRitz Carlton Hotel, Budapest2016 February

Eight photographs of Csilla Szabó were purchased by andbecame part of the exquisite contemporary art collection ofthe Ritz Carlton Hotel Budapest.

• Article in Brennpunkt Magazine für Fotografie 2016/II2016 spring

The one-page article introduces the work and artistic views of Csilla Szabó fineart photographer, with example pictures printed in the spring edition of theBrennpunkt Fotografie Magazin.

• Exhibition'Light and shadow'PH21 Gallery, Budapest2015 winter

'Creating unique effects with lights and shadows captured by a camera is, according tomany, one of the most important means of photographic expression. Photographers haverelied on the possibilities offered by the interplay between lights and shadows throughoutthe history of photography. In some cases lights and shadows are used to the effect ofcreating a formal compositional element; in others their role is to guide our gaze or focusour attention on specific parts of the image. The ways lights and shadows contribute tophotographic meaning only depend on the imagination of the photographer.'

• Exhibition'Oase'Povvera Projektraum, Berlin2015 summer

(...) The striving for development dynamics between symmetry and asymmetry, thenegotiation of ratios and proportions in the aesthetic field, as well as questions about theirplace in our time, span a poetic space: explore these six international artists in theexhibition Oasis. Curated by Eniko Marton. (...)

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Short bios and portfolios

Imola Nagy is a Berlin based Hungarian contemporary dancer.

Following her graduation from the Budapest Contemporary Dance

Academy in 2013, she received a scholarship and finished in the

Greek National School of Dance in Athens. Her dancing is strongly

influenced by the research-based practices of her studies, as well as

the technical training of mainly contemporary and modern dance

techniques. From 2015 on she was based in Amsterdam. She

danced in Clarinde Wesselink's work, Waterwerkers – a piece

investigating dance as a form of moving fine arts – in the Judson

Church, New York.

She collaborated with SNDO students on Elisa Zuppini's trio, Might be dancing / manifested perception,

created her own solo, Between and danced Itzik Galili's choreography in the production of The Dutch

National Opera and Ballet, Prins Igor. In January 2018 she was a Life long burning – Wild Cards Residency

recipient at Uferstudios, Berlin. She is currently working with Iris Woutera de Jong Dutch artist on moving

sculpture performances and creating her own work in Berlin.

Artist statement:

“My prior interest is the perfect mechanism, the body in movement in it's pure format, which we may call

dance. I am also interested in the various contexts, this moving body can hold a meaning in. Therefore, I

was always curious and aiming for very different forms of movement, often bridging between art forms or

different external fields. My dancing is strongly influenced by the research-based practices of my studies, as

well as the technical training of mainly contemporary and modern dance techniques. Mainly by the legacy of

the Judson era, floor work based contemporary dance influenced by martial art forms, Cunningham

techique, Graham technique and ballet. I am interested in ways of moving that are simple and can be in

some way torn down to their core. I like creating works on abstract movement that are lacking concrete

narrative aspects. I am mainly focused on improvisation-based movement research, where the different

choreographic practices, imagination, tasking help to give birth to -till that point- unknown movements. I

work with set movement rules, as well as instant images or feelings, which trigger the movement in a fine,

undetermined, yet conscious way.”

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Recent achievements:

• Looming performance By Iris Woutera de Jong, 2017Eye Museum, Amsterdam

“LOOMING is the result of a study into the phenomena of a circle. Inspired onritual circle dance. A continuous wave of movement turns around the centerwhere is utter silence. Sculpture and body are in dialogue; moving or beingmoved, flatness or expanding to maximal scope, visible or woven into theshape. It leaves the mind centered and the body curious” photo by Maria de Brea

• Deform and Deform Reflect performances By Iris Woutera de Jong, 2017Fashion Clash Festival, Maastricht

“The work is about deformation of the body and how we are seen constantly indifferent shapes. The sculptures are made to experience from the inside. By itskinetic structure it invites the body to move.. The lines between object, humanand nature are blurred.”

• Prins Igor opera Written by Alexander Borodin, Choreography by Itzik GaliliDutch National Opera and Ballet, Amsterdam, 2017

“The high-profile production of Prince Igor (2014), a co-production with theNew York Metropolitan Opera, directed by Dmitri Tcherniakov, is now comingto Amsterdam. The production is dreamy, heart-rendingly human andexceptionally theatrical.”

• Might be dancing / Manifested perception - movement research and performance By Elisa ZuppiniAmsterdam, 2016

“An improvisation-based trio performance built on the practice developed byElisa Zuppini. The body is understood as a mass of entities, a volumeconsisting of small parts, all conscious and willing to move by themselves.There is no hierarchy between body parts and space is used as a partner inmovement. The mover aims for a state, where each movement is a surprise,while being absolutely conscious of everything in space and time.”photo by Nellie de Boer

• Between - solo performance Choreography and performance by Imola NagyAthens, 2014, Amsterdam, 2016

“Between is my dance solo, I started working on it since 2014, then recreatedand performed it again in 2016. What started as a graduation piece, is evolvingwith me over time and different spaces. I work with improvisation and the factthat I needed and need to deal with grief. In some way, this is also a reason,why the piece is still alive and is changing forms. I am consciously leaving thatnarrative aspect under the surface and focus on what it has to offer in terms ofmovement. The movement is what I am offering.Maybe the motivation derivesfrom a personal experience, but it is carefully filtered and transformed bymovement and structuring. The aim is for the essence to remain.

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Further photographs:

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