i do, i do - fall bridal 2014 - north/south edition

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HERSAM ACORN NEWSPAPERS

I Do, I DoFALL BRIDAL 2014

Older and wiser, the bride-to-be who is, say, north of age 45 is going to truly and finally have the wedding — and more, importantly, the marriage — she always dreamed of.

This is not to say her first wedding was a disap-pointment, but if she is getting remarried, chances are very good that the first marriage, was, in fact, a disappointment of sorts. And so now she gets a do-over in love and life.

The do-over — in terms of the wedding — means that the bridal couple can tailor the ceremony not only to themselves but to and for their respective children as well. Children who are more than likely happy that their mom or dad has found real happiness and peace with someone else, having perhaps witnessed their parent going through great sorrow or frustration in the last gasps of their previous marriage.

Mary Paul, formerly of New Canaan and now a new resident of Denver, Colo., following her second wedding this past June, felt it was very important to include her two children in her ceremony.

“I loved planning my second wedding because I felt like we could incorporate traditional details with our own custom-made reflec-tion of our new family,” she said of her wedding to Joe Middleburg. “Getting married the second time when children are involved is very different because, to me, it was not just about the two of us but more about the start of our new blended family together. As a result, we had our three children as our attendants and we walked down the aisle together.”

While some older brides choose to have a low-key and/or casual wedding and reception, others — like Paul — opt for a more tradi-tional, even more formal affair.

“A few people asked why we went to the expense and effort of having a full second wedding,” Paul said. “I felt that it was important for two reasons. First of all, when you have been married before for 20-plus years as we both had, you know that marriage isn’t easy. We have grown kids so frankly there really wasn’t a reason to remarry. We could have happily remained dating but we chose to make that com-mitment to each other so we wanted to do so publicly. Our ceremony was a reflection on the fact that life isn’t always easy but with love and hope it can be good again. I think it is a very different message

than the marriage of young couples who are starting their lives together.

“Secondly, we wanted our children to have a milestone that started our family as one and to celebrate that union. The wed-ding was as much about them as it was about us. We even had a cake with both our family dogs on it saying ‘We do, too!’”

While Paul and Middleburg went the way of a church ceremony — with Paul in full wedding gown regalia — other brides and grooms may choose to tailor down their special day.

When Molly Howe Putnam — who grew up in Weston — got remarried, she and her fiancé Ed Putnam wanted a more relaxed, intimate wedding than their pre-vious ones.

“We had a very informal, seaside wedding,” Howe Putnam said of their Massachusetts ceremony. “Guys wore

Hawaiian shirts, women wore sundresses. It was a beautiful weekend. It was one of the best days of my life.”

Incorporating children and the tenor of your relationship into a second wedding is usually quite important to an older couple. Perhaps more so than for a first wedding. The betrothed can make it as over-the-top as any first-time bride or groom or as wholly different from that first go ‘round. The details reflect their new attitude and outlook upon life and love.

“It’s never too late to live happily ever after!” Howe Putnam said.

by Julie Butler

Mary Paul was a jubilant June bride for her second wedding. She and her new husband, Joe Middleberg opted for a more formal wedding day. — Cynthia Brown Studio

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• 2 • • I Do, I Do: Fall Bridal • Hersam Acorn Newspapers • • October 2, 2014 •

Planning a wedding is no small feat, as couples are faced with many decisions seemingly from the moment they get engaged right up until they walk down the aisle. One of the biggest decisions a couple will make is where to host the reception.

Do you want a country or city reception venue? A country club by the Sound or a lake? How about a reception hall in a favorite restau-rant? Or maybe you want to rent out a barn?

Couples must consider a variety of factors when looking for the right banquet hall or venue to host their reception. The wedding is a celebra-tion, and the banquet hall is where the couple and their guests will let their hair down and hopefully enjoy a festive and memorable night.

Because the reception is typically the most lengthy portion of a couple’s wedding day, it’s important to find a place where everyone can be

comfortable and enjoy themselves. Word-of-mouth is a great way to find the right

reception site. Ask friends or family members who got hitched in the same town where your ceremony will be if they can recommend a recep-tion site. These friends or family members can provide a behind-the-scenes look at a reception hall, from how accommodating the staff was to how flexible the banquet hall was with regard to pricing to how open the staff was to suggestions.

Consider the size of the facility. Some couples

prefer an intimate affair with relatively few guests, while others will desire a large wedding party with lots of guests. Couples can find a location that’s capable of catering to small or large wed-ding parties, but find one that fits your party specifically.

Don’t downplay decor. A banquet hall with an attractive decor is not only aesthetically appealing but can appeal to a couple’s finances as well. Such a hall likely won’t need any additional decora-tions, while a banquet hall that’s unadorned and lacks embellishments will. Compare the costs of the more decorated banquet hall with the one that’s more plain in appearance, factoring in the cost to decorate the latter, and you might just realize the one with more aesthetic appeal is more affordable in the long run.

Rolling Hills Country Club in Wilton, for instance, boasts a new clubhouse in a rustic country setting which features a 300-guest ball-room, Ambler Room and Annex room which can accommodate smaller affairs.

“Wedding couples select Rolling Hills for their special day because of the ability to use multiple, gorgeous rooms for the ceremony, cocktail hour, wedding reception and bridal party prepara-tion,” Hilary Perettine, spokeman for the club, said. “Our windowed ballroom overlooking the golf course is one of the largest, newest and most spectacular in the area.”

Prioritize privacy. Few couples would be open to strangers having easy access to their wedding reception. When shopping for a banquet hall, look for one that gives you and your guests all the privacy you need.

Destination weddings need not mean hopping on a plane. If the couple lives in Southern Faifield County, they may want to host their ceremony and reception up in Litchfield County, or vise versa.

“The Garden House at the Keeler Tavern Museum in Ridgefield has become a preferred venue for local couples as well as couples seeking a ‘destination” wedding,’” Mary Ann Connors, Garden House manager and associate director, said. “The private, sunken garden with beautiful seasonal flowers is the perfect setting for their intimate ceremony. The Garden House and adjoining terraces add to the serenity and beauty of the venue. Many couples are enchanted with the rich history of the Keeler Tavern and incorpo-rate a tour of the museum into their wedding day schedule for their guests.”

Connecticut is ripe with venues in all shapes and sizes, which should make the choosing a fun part of the planning.

Ideas of where to celebrate ‘I do’• The Inn at Longshore/Splash Restaurant

Westport; 203-226-3316, innatlongshore.com;

203-454-7798 (Splash)

• The Lounsbury House

Ridgefield; 203-438-6962; lounsburyhouse.com

• Garden House at the Keeler Tavern Museum

Ridgefield; 203-438-5485, keelertavernmuseum.org

• Le Chateau

South Salem, N.Y.; 914-533-6331, lechateauny.com

• The Washington Club

Washington; 860-868-9133

• Stonehenge Inn

Ridgefield; 203-438-6511, stonehengeinn-ct.com

• The Amber Room Colonnade

Danbury; 203-748-3800, theamberroom.net

• Tarrywile Park and Mansion

Danbury; 203-744-3130, tarrywile.com

Milford; 203-876-8051, greatrivergolfclub.com

• Salem Golf Club

North Salem, N.Y.; 914-669-5485

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• October 2, 2014 • • I Do, I Do: Fall Bridal • Hersam Acorn Newspapers • • 3 •

Box 1019, Ridgefield, Conn 06877203-438-6544

Julie Butler, editorBryan Haeffele, designer

•Thomas B. Nash, publisher

•For advertising information,

call 203-438-6544

Copyright 2013, Hersam Acorn Newspapers, LLC

OCTOBER 2, 2014

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Brides-to-be have long checklists for planning their big day. Dress, flowers, venue, vows, will there be a sit-down dinner or hors d’oeuvres and crudités? Who will be in the wedding party?

“Every bride wants her wedding to be perfect and by that, many mean that they want the event itself and themselves to be absolutely beautiful,” says Eric Gulbrandson, a wedding photographer and author of the new book, “Dream Wedding Secrets: The All Important G.S.F.”

“But a perfect wedding is also one that people remember months and years later as a wonder-ful event where they thoroughly enjoyed them-selves,” Gulbrandson says. “Think about it — no bride wants her wedding remembered as a disas-ter!”

The secret is to put a high priority on what Gulbrandson calls the G.S.F. — guest satisfaction factor.

“It’s how others perceive your wedding,” he says. “Most brides do want their guests to be able to enjoy their wedding, but they overlook the G.S.F. because all the advice is geared toward beauty and budgets.”

Gulbrandson interviewed hundreds of wed-ding guests and compiled more than 200 do’s and don’ts for brides-to-be for ensuring a high G.S.F. Among them:

• If you invite children, arrange a supervised activity area for them. Couples often include chil-dren on their guest list because they contribute to the family atmosphere and celebration, but weddings are not child-centered events. Kids get bored; the wedding day is often a long one with extended periods of sitting quietly and an abundance of adults consuming alcohol. Help parents and children enjoy the event by arranging for a supervised activity area on the outskirts of the reception. A couple of teenaged relatives may appreciate earning some money for overseeing

Off-the-shoulder necklines, bold colors, tulle overskirts, capes. Breezy fabrics. Cut-outs and crop tops.

These are some of the looks that are trending right now in bridal fashion. There are also creative dresses that boast convert-ible skirts, particularly in tulle, so that the bride can wear a floor-length skirt for the ceremony and then take off the bottom half for a fun reception dress that is decid-edly more dance-friendly.

“It is a really great time in bridal fash-ion,” Alison Fischer Luciano, owner of The Plumed Serpent Bridal in Westport, said. “There are so many new trends that are emerging. The biggest right now are the use of texture — laces that have a three dimensional effect rather than just being flat, and skirts with twirls of fabric and ruffles.”

Fischer Luciano also noted that delicate embroidery and beading is definitely being seen much more than it has been in past seasons.

Ashley Krauss, owner A Little Something White in Darien, said that her brides are increasingly looking to differ-entiate themselves from all of their friends who have recently gotten married.

“Because of this, we have seen an increased interested in non-strapless gowns,” she said. “The biggest trend with brides right now is the illusion neckline. An illusion neckline is the perfect option for a bride who loves the overall look of a strapless gown but wants some additional coverage. An illusion neckline is a piece of tulle fabric that covers the back and chest and is often adorned with something like lace or embroidery.”

Fischer Luciano also said that illusion necklines are being shown by almost every designer.

“There is nothing better than watching what you know will be the next big trend go down the runway and know you are seeing it and will have it in your store,” she said.

Fischer Luciano described a Liancarlo

bridal gown Plumed Serpent carries that features the illusion neckline.

“I love how the lace seems to float up and over the bride’s shoulders and then down the back,” she said. “Many of our brides who have fallen in love with one of our strapless gowns end up working with my seamstress to custom create a buildup for the gown that covers a portion of their chest and back.”

Krauss said that with fabrics, lace con-tinues to “dominate what our brides are looking for, and designers have responded by creating a wide variety of options when it comes to lace gowns. However, some of our brides are looking to differentiate themselves by adding details like beading or crystals to the lace.”

Color has become more prevalent and is definitely here to stay, according to Fischer Luciano, who said gowns are being shown in blush, soft pink and even the palest blue.

Krauss said that brides that come into her store, however, continue to show interest predominantly in white and ivory gowns.

“While many designers are show-ing color variations, our brides remain relatively traditional and prefer white or ivory.”

No matter which way you want to go, no way is the wrong way when it comes to today’s bridal couture.

It’s your day, after all.

See Happy on page 5

This Caroline Castigliano gown illustrates the very popular illusion neckline favored by brides lately. - Photo courtesy of The Plumed Serpent

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Judd Waddell • Junko Yoshioka • Kelly Faetanini

Liancarlo • Sareh Nouri

1292 Boston Post Rd • Darien • CT 06820

www.alittlesomethingwhite.com

[email protected] • 203.309.5110

Photo credit: Sareh Nouri

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There’s something enchanting about a precious basket-toting flower girl toddling down the aisle or a dashing ring bearer posing GQ-like in his pint-sized tux.

And then there’s something scary about these real-life sce-narios:

• The bride walking down the aisle, eyes darting around and mind consumed with whether the young kids in her wed-ding party had managed to break anything else. Throughout the day, said florist Rachel Whittemore of this wedding a few years ago, “When we needed to touch base with the bridal couple, we just followed the screams.”

• The beach destination wedding where the bride’s niece was handed a cute metal beach pail to transport the rings.

“No one noticed the sweet, little girl digging in the sand and playing. She needed more room in the bucket and dumped the sand, and rings, somewhere on the beach,” said Richard O’Malley, the New Jersey-based event planner who coordinated travel and the reception for this wedding. (Ninety minutes into a search, only the groom’s ring could be res-cued.)

• The ring bearer who somehow “found a Sharpie and left a tiny Picasso” on the bridal gown.

“The bride had her gown bustled to hide the ink, and never got the long train she wanted,” said Whittemore, owner of The Centerpiece Floral Design, also of New Jersey and who has worked with Connecticut couples.

In a more typical wedding scene with kids, for every mis-hap there’s an equally magical moment.

“It’s not unusual for a rambunctious, tuxedo-clad ninja to behead his ‘bout’ before he even has a chance to walk down the aisle ... all while beaming with cuteness,” she added.

There are also pros and cons to children as guests. It’s special to many parents when their kids get to share

in the day, said Lisa Nightingale of Old Wethersfield-based Nightingale Events. Yet, those parents can’t quite relax as they

by Melissa Ezarik

Cousins Kali DeCristoforo, Annabelle Shultz and Lucy Shultz prepare the way for their aunt, Megan DeCristoforo to her fiance Michael Sylvester at their July wedding. — Bryan Haeffele photo

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As you consider the ideal setting for your wedding, we invite you to make the historic mansion and gardens of the DCA Meadowlands your own.

Our eight acre Regency-style estate

grand staircase descending to rooms decorated with unique period details, an elegant formal garden as a gorgeous stage for your ceremony, and Garden Wing with stage and ample space for your reception.

For further information or a tour of the estate, please contact Laura Boulton, our Catered Events Coordinator, at [email protected] or 203-655-9050 extension 12. The DCA is located at 274 Middlesex Road in Darien, CT.

View more images and information at dariendca.org or at theknot.com.

As you consider the ideal setting for your wedding, we invite you to make the historic mansion and gardens of the DCA Meadowlands your own.

View more images and information at dariendca.org or at theknot.com.

For further information or a tour of the estate, please contact Laura Boulton, our Catered Events Coordinator, at [email protected] or 203-655-9050 extension 12. The DCA is located at 274 Middlesex Road in Darien, CT.

Our eight acre Regency-style estate

grand staircase descending to rooms decorated with unique period details, an elegant formal garden as a gorgeous stage for your ceremony, and Garden Wing with stage and ample space for your reception.

Imagine Your Wedding at the DCA Meadowlands

• October 2, 2014 • • I Do, I Do: Fall Bridal • Hersam Acorn Newspapers • • 5 •

worry about their kids being disruptive. Yes, she’s seen little fingers dip into wed-ding cakes.

While ideally kids-or-no-kids is up to the couple, it’s not always cut and dry.

“No matter what they say, someone will ask to bring their child to the wedding,” said Marta Segal Block, weddings editor for GigMasters, an online booking agency for wedding vendors, including more than 500 Connecticut-based members.

“If you have children who are part of the wedding party, asking your other guests not to bring them can cause some tension,” said wedding planner Kia Martinson, owner of West Hartford-based ESTOccasions and founder of the website Engaged Connecticut, engagedct.com. In her experience, most parents opt not to bring their children anyway.

For those who vow to include kids on the big day, here are nine ways to help ensure their presence is memorable for the right reasons.

1. Consider the individual child when considering the bridal party ros-ter.

“Boys especially have a lot of energy. Walking down an aisle slowly, to soft music, is an impossible task,” said Whittemore. Flower girls tend to be more into it, but also “tend to steal the show.”

2. For blended family weddings, think of a special way to honor the bride and/or groom’s kids.

On their invitation, one of Nightingale’s clients had the bride’s son being the one to cordially invite the guests. And when Tim and Sue Gagne of Newtown exchanged vows in 2010 at a casual backyard cer-emony, Tim’s two daughters, 21 and 19, and Sue’s two daughters, 13 and 12, all had starring roles.

“My girls walked me down the aisle, and hers walked her down the aisle, and then we all did the first dance together,” he said. “It cemented us as family.”

3. Choose flowers that aren’t poison-ous to keep tiny tots safe.

“There are actually quite a few flowers you can safely eat,” Whittemore said.

4. Pin a ring bearer’s boutonniere, using safety rather than straight pins, no more than two minutes pre-aisle walk, advised Whittemore.

5. Know that dropping petals is a tough task for a young flower girl.

Whittemore will suggest a wand with long ribbons as “whimsical, age-appropri-ate and very sweet.”

6. Drop the exact vision of how the day will go.

“Children can have good and bad days/hours,” said Nightingale. “They could decide minutes before they are set to walk down the aisle to melt down.”

7. Keep timing in mind. Kids’ dinners should be served with

their parents’ salad or apps, she said. And with a 6 p.m. to midnight reception, know that guests with young children may leave by 8 or 9. Daytime weddings are a better kid fit.

8. Sit kids together, and with a sitter. Distribute goody bags with small

toys and games or, better yet, a tablet with some Pixar films uploaded and a handful of cheap headsets to go around, Whittemore said.

9. Enjoy the energy kids are sure to bring.

At the Gagne wedding, the kids were “dancing, running around and being silly,” he recalled. “It was the kids who carried the event.”

Melissa Ezarik is a Stratford mom of a ring bearer who held the pillow between his knees and cried during the recessional of his godfather’s 2011 wedding.

arts and crafts projects and games. Hiring relatives for this job will help keep the costs reasonable.

• Don’t make costumes a requirement for your themed wedding. Whether you’ve got your heart set on a Renaissance faire or zombie nuptials, don’t require your guests to shell out money buying or renting cos-tumes. Yes, you can ease any financial bur-den by requesting they wear costumes in lieu of buying gifts, but that doesn’t address the potential for physical and emotional discomfort. Sure, all your friends may be LARPers, but if Uncle Howard and Aunt Betty are not, they may not enjoy wearing capes and carrying swords to your cer-emony.

• Don’t plan your wedding for a holiday weekend. Occasionally, brides plan their wedding for a three-day holiday weekend thinking it will help out-of-towners who want to attend. However, it also boosts the odds of local guests being out of town.

Given that most working people have only two guaranteed three-day weekends a year, many plan ahead for them. Additionally, hotel and rental car prices tend to go up during holidays and traffic doubles. Play it safe by avoiding calendar holidays and, of course, Super Bowl Sunday.

• With food and drink, if you have to choose between quantity and quality, choose quantity. Nobody will mind if the chicken skewers aren’t the best they ever had, but they will if you run out of them. While taste and presentation are important, having enough food and drink available throughout the event is more important than a glamorous presentation.

• When it’s all said and done, don’t ruin your perfect wedding by failing to follow through with that time-honored (for good reason) custom of sending thank-you notes.

“Technically, accepted protocol allows guests a year after the wedding to send a gift, so you may be on the receiving end for quite some time,” Gulbrandson says. “Keep a list and send handwritten thank-yous as quickly as you can. Most guests and experts agree that one to three months after the wedding is fine, but my advice is to get on it quickly.”

More info: dreamweddingsecrets.com

Continued from page 3

Andrew Downey passes out programs for his aunt Megan DeCristoforo’s wedding to her fiance Michael Sylvester in July. — Bryan Haeffele photo

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i do, i do - fall bridal 2014 - north/south edition

Documents

intimate wedding

seaside wedding

new family

wedding gown regalia

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new blended family

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