i suck! and so do you!

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I SUCK! and so do you!

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Full transcript of this talk here: http://karenmcgrane.com/2014/01/10/i-suck-and-so-do-you/ “Good enough” sounds like a cop-out. There’s always a way to be better, another brass ring to grab for, another level to beat. Our desire to improve has a darker flip side: self-doubt and self-criticism. We’re never good enough. We find an outlet for our negativity in our work. The internet has always been a sprawling, chaotic mess, our processes and tools feel broken, and we’re surrounded by people making foolish and incompetent decisions. What a relief to finally take the pressure off ourselves and point the finger at someone else’s mistakes! What a relief to put our energies into fixing something! Funny thing about change, though. It works a lot better if it comes from a place of kindness than from judgement. Having compassion for our clients, colleagues, and co-workers has to come from within—it starts by having compassion for ourselves.

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: I Suck! And So Do You!

I SUCK!and so do you!

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I’m lying.

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I don’t believe a word I’m saying.

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Especially about the Klout score.

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where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, andall the children are above average

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THE ONLY THING I’M BETTER AT THAN YOUis telling myself I suck.

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YOU’RE WRONG.

YOU LIKE ME, RIGHT?

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I’M SMARTER THAN YOU.

PLEASE VALIDATE ME.

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NO WIN SITUATION

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The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare

our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

—Steve Furtick

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AWESOME BOOK

CAREER SUCCESS

WORLD TRAVEL

PROJECT FAILURE

TEAM LOSSES

RELATIONSHIP WTF

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BREAKDOWN

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ACTUAL HUMAN BEING

Messy,

Flawed Gross,Right?

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My kid is sick.I’m depressed.

Someone died.I have cancer.

I’m getting divorced.I lost my job.

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EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING.

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IT’S ONLY HUMAN.

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Don’t be so hard on yourself!

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expe

ctat

ions

anxiety

the fuck-it pointstanding ovation

TED talk

child conceived during talk named after me

no one laughs

no one cries

no one confuses me withBarry White

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YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO THINK YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.

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YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF.

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DEFENSIVE PROJECTING

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YOU CAN’T FEEL COMPASSION IF YOU’RE DEFENSIVE.

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EVERYTHING WE DO IS CHANGE MANAGEMENT.

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— Douglas Coupland

Twenty-first-century life is karaoke —a never-ending attempt to maintain

dignity while a jumble of data uncontrollably blips across a screen.

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CHANGE MANAGEMENT = COMPASSION

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Technical External InternalTechnical External Internal

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EXTERNAL VALIDATION

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INTERNAL VALIDATION

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.

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There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

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And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

— Marianne Willamson

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YOU’RE AWESOME!and so am I!