i was ambushed
TRANSCRIPT
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8/3/2019 I Was Ambushed
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I Ambushed Me!
Yesterday morning (afternoon actually, but morning to me since it was right after I got out of bed
following my night shift), the enemy ambushed me! I attacked Me at a time and place Me was most
vulnerable - wet and naked in the shower!
Man, this time I really outdid myself in being Mes own worst enemy - I mean I was CRAFTY! I
converted a common contraption - a standup shower system - into a truly diabolical weapon, an
ASARWaL. = Accidentally Self Assembled Rocketing Water Launcher.
Below is a post-attack picture of the shower system, rearranged so that it looks pretty much the way it
did before I converted it into an ASARWaL and engaged Me as the enemy.
Now Ill describe how I set up the ASARWaL
attack. I stood patiently waiting while Me
arranged his showering paraphernalia and
got undressed, placing his clothes and towel
on the bench behind Me. Then I let Me getinto the shower stall, draw the curtain, turn
on the water, and start to work on turning up
the hot water with the handle on the right
(not the left - silly Europeans).
Thats when I took over. While Me was
looking at the shower head and gauging the
temperature by standing under the water
flow, I continued messing with the hot water
handle until it just came off, unleashing a
most hellish water cannon!
You should have seen Mes reaction! I was
actually rather impressed by Me, AFTER his
initial shock - and relief - at the sight of the
water jet rocketing past his junk (DAMN, I
missed by a fraction of an inch) and against
the back wall of the shower stall directly
behind Me! Me quickly looked around for
the attacker, and upon seeing that it was I,
wisely decided against a counterattack,
opting instead to recover and regroup.
Me sprang into action by (1) keeping his junk
out of the rocketing waters path, (2) looking madly about for a few seconds, and (3) trying to stop the
thundering water cannon by grabbing the hot water handle and pushing it back in place. Only 1 and 2
worked, 3 was hopeless. Then I could see, as if in slow motion, Mes brain lock onto a good idea! Me
looked at the shower curtain (always mindful of where he was standing relative to the rocketing water),
scooped it up from the bottom into a sort of shallow bag and put that in front of the jet. Just in time
too, since things were getting awfully wet and messy behind Me! When the shower curtain came
crashing down, Me not-so-calmly adjusted things to keep the jet contained.
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8/3/2019 I Was Ambushed
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Upon his momentarily successful containment of the water cannons damage to the general confines of
the ASARWaL stall, Me frantically yelled out to the two Servicemembers doing personal hygeine things
at sinks just outside the shower stalls area, Help! Get someone to turn off the water to the showers!
One of the two looked past the curtain dividing the shower stalls from the sinks and toilets, saw Me
gallantly/frantically holding off the Water Bull with his improvised shower-curtain cape, then ran out the
door to get help. The other guy did as I next requested and picked up and put back on the bench my
soaked towel, shorts and shirt.
Thankfully for Me (stupid Mealways escapes the worst of Is intentions!), only about a minute passed
before the water was turned off by a member of the TCN (Third Country National) team that was
cleaning a shower/latrine trailer next door.
Once again, I and Me agreed to a truce. Until the next time, we ended our status as enemies, and
returned to being one person. I wrung out my clothes and towel as best I could, put the clothes on,
returned to my barracks room (a portion of an open squad bay made into a room by rearrangement of
wall lockers), dug out a dry towel, shorts and shirt and took a shower in a stall that I mercifully refrained
from converting into another ASARWaL and attacking Me again.