8 Service to the Fleet, November 2014

Finding the Balance

Your lawn needs to be mowed. This is normally not an issue except you just worked a long, hard week trying to

keep the ship on schedule, attended three evening little league baseball games, stood in line at two pharmacies, made it to one doctor appointment, missed the other one, had to shop at Walmart after 10 pm four times for school supplies and groceries, still need to write three more performance reports, and the brakes on your truck started squealing this morning right after you spilled coffee on the dash board and fried the radio. Oh, and your lawn still needs to be mowed. How do you find balance between work and life? One place to start is to contact or visit Amy Stephan, MSW, LCSW, Employee Assistance Program field consultant with Behavioral Health Services and Federal Occupational Health of the U.S. Department of Human Services. She’s located in the Department of the Navy Civilian Employee Assistance Program (DONCEAP) office in Building 16 at Norfolk Naval Shipyard (NNSY). “One of the first things we discuss with clients is how they spend their time versus their priorities,” Stephan said. “Does who you are right now line up with who you want to be?” As a counselor, Stephan discusses with shipyard workers the realities and priorities of both the work life and their outside-of-work life and then provides advice on how to balance the two. She also offers materials and programs to help her clients meet their life priorities.

“The DONCEAP has many programs and resources to help our shipyarders find the balance they need to reduce stress at home and at work,” Stephan said. Stephan said shipyard workers can visit her office during the work day and their visits will remain confidential. She said as a licensed counselor, she is bound by confidentiality laws. “But if it is during the work day, supervisors can call and verify that their employee is in my office,” she said. Stephan said that many people who are struggling to find the balance between life and work wait until major issues, such as a letter of caution from their supervisor, marital problems, problems with children, or increased stress at work, has

overwhelmed them before they go into see her.

She said shipyarders can also go in to receive advice on how to reduce their stress and balance their home and work life before it gets out of hand. Stephan said there are many lesser-known services that DONCEAP can provide to people who just want

advice on keeping the balance they already have.

“We have all kinds of programs to help people including legal services,

retirement planning, management coaching, child care resources, elder care resources, employee assistance and work/life services, financial services and much more.”

By Chris Watt Code 1160 Public Affairs Specialist

8 Service to the Fleet, November 2014

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Finding the Balance

If counseling is needed beyond what Stephan can offer, the DONCEAP

at NNSY can also access resources in the local community or in the community where you are located.

“If, for example, one of our fly-away teams has an individual who is struggling with something while they are on assignment, I can reach out to one of our affiliates in the community where they are located and get them the help they need,” she said. “We can provide up to six sessions for free with one of our community affiliates.” Stephan explained that an affiliate refers to a local community professional counselor—not necessarily affiliated with the military—who has agreed to assist our counselors when needed. But how does all this help me mow my lawn? “When a client comes in I sit down with them and a piece of paper and I draw two, intersecting circles,” said Stephan. “In one of the circles I ask them to write all the things that make them who they are right now—work, family, school, etc. In the other

circle I ask them to write all the things that make up who they want to be. Then we see how much the circles overlap. “The more the circles overlap the closer you are to being who you want to be,” she said. “It’s about understanding the competing demands in your life and then using creativity to look at the situation from a different angle to find a solution.”

So, back to mowing the lawn. With an issue such as a lawn in need of mowing or a set of brakes in need of changing or work taking up all the free time you would have used to mow the lawn or fix the brakes, Stephan suggests that if you can’t reduce your time at work, perhaps you could pay someone to mow your lawn or fix your brakes, thereby transferring the time it would have taken from your day to someone who does those things for a living. “If you can hire someone to mow your lawn, you no longer have to worry about your lawn,” she said.

“It will also give you more free time to spend with family and friends or to work on other priorities you may have. It may be worth the money just to reduce the stress.” Stephan said she discusses with her clients the demands on their time and their true priorities. “We then discuss possible solutions and I help them come to their own conclusions about what will work for them,” she said. “That’s when they make the commitments that will move them closer to a work/life balance.”

Whether your work/life balance is already tipping to one side,

starting to tip or you just want to maintain your balance, you can visit Amy Stephan in her office in Building 16, call her at (757) 967-5179 during normal workday hours or you can browse the printed free literature and information available 24-hours-a-day in the Building 16 lobby.

For additional information about these and the many other

free programs provided by DONCEAP, visit http://DONCEAP.foh.hhs.gov, or call

1-844-DONCEAP (1-844-366-2327).

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10 Service to the Fleet, November 2014

Tips for Finding the Balance

Think about what you want to accomplish daily and in the future.

l Make sure your short-term goals support your long-term goals. l Stay focused on your goals each day.

Schedule Your Priorities:Set Goals

Spend quality time with the ones you love in a way that is meaningful to everyone.

l For example, if you can only attend one after-school activity per week, make sure it is the one that is most meaningful to your child.l Ask your partner what you can do to lighten his or her load each day or week. This will help you learn what your partner needs and will make them feel valued and supported.l Stay focused on what you need. Make sure that you have at least a few hours a week to do what nourished and replenished you.

Schedule Your Priorities:Understand What Each Family

Member Values

l If you are unsure of what is expected of you at work, ask for direction and clarification of your tasks.l If you feel overloaded at work, ask your supervisor for help in prioritizing your tasks.l At home, have family meetings to plan for the week ahead. Designate a communications center. Hang a bulletin board and family calendar in a central location. Instruct each family member to record activities—games, practices, after school job hours, social events, etc.—on the calendar.l Let family members know what you expect from the household. Invite all to brainstorm solutions and delegate responsibilities for meeting household needs.l Ask for help when l Express your you need it. appreciation.

Communicate Your Needs

Be clear about what is important to your agency.Ask your supervisor to review expectations of your work performance and how they fit into the overall mission of the agency. Understanding how your work contributes to the success of your agency will help you set priorities that will make you successful.

Schedule Your Priorities:Know What Is Expected of You

at Work

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l Get regular exercise.l Eat healthy meals.l Get enough rest.l Pay attention to your body and what it needs.l Make time for yourself.l Travel slightly before or after the rush hour.l Use commute time for personal growth activities such as reading, practicing relaxation techniques, or even learning a new language. You may also want to use this time to plan ahead for the day’s work or to relax and prepare for your return home.l Develop a hobby or interest.l Go on outings and vacations.

Improve Your Physical and Mental Health by Engaging in

Meaningful Activitiesl Schedule time to be alone with each other. Fun should be a daily activity.l Encourage your partner often.l Be willing to share your thoughts and feelings and listen to your partner.

Enhance Satisfying Relationships:Relationship with partner

l Schedule time each evening for a family activity. Play cards or a board game, or take the dog for a walk.l Plan outings that will be meaningful to the entire family.l Create a “coming home from work” routine for children that gives everyone what they need. For example, to ease transition from work to home, you may want 15 minutes to yourself when you first get home. Take a bath or shower, lie down or read the mail. Let children know to expect this and that they will have your full attention once you have had time to unwind.

Enhance Satisfying Relationships:Relationship with Children

l Plan menus ahead of time and have ingredients on-hand.l Cook in big batches ahead of time and freeze. You can eat prepared meals throughout the week on late work-nights or nights when family activities prevent cooking a full meal.l Shop during off-peak hours.l Batch errands and complete in a reasonable order.l Prepare school lunches, clothing, backpacks and briefcases the night before. Keep outerwear, bags and shoes by the door each evening so they are easy to find in the morning.l Limit morning choices. Allow children only two outfits to choose from, two cereals, etc.l Teach children how to save time by planning ahead and being prepared.

Be Efficient

l Spend at least a few hours a week doing an activity with a friend that you both enjoy.l Maintain friendly relationships with co-workers. This can help improve communication and make work more enjoyable.l Write one letter or make one phone call per week to a long-distance friend or relative.

Enhance Satisfying Relationships:Relationship with

Friends/Relatives/Co-workers

l Divide and share household responsibilities according to likes/dislikes, skills and availability.l Communicate the standard of quality that is expected for household chores.l At home, be flexible with scheduling.l Find ways to make family chores fun for everyone.

Modify Responsibilities

All information provided by Department of the Navy Civilian Employee Assistance Program at: http://DONCEAP.foh.hhs.gov.

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