ica magazine - issue 116 - april 2012

plus FULL EDEN COURT FILM GUIDE (see centre pages)

Easter Bunnies Frightened Rabbit bring their musical eggs north.

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< B O G B A I N >putting the ‘ ‘aste back in festivals

www.bogba infarm.com

New BANDS, New BEER, New MUSIC !!Saturday 5th May

NEW ADDITIONS !!! :

Tommy Reilly •Stanley Odd •Laki Mera •The Little Kicks •Quickbeam

•Graham Brown •Cherri Fosphate

plus Vic Galloway and Ally McCrae as MCs/DJ – joining...

Three Blind Wolves • Washington Irving • Endor • Fatherson • Kitty The Lion

• Open Day Rotation • Over The Wall • Findlay Napier & The Bar Room

Mountaineers • Kobi • The Seventeenth Century • Open Swimmer

• Matt Norris & The Moon • Mike Nisbet • Lost City Soul • Beerjacket

• Woody Pines • Hellovideo • Cafe Disco • Bensh • He Slept On 57

• Midnight Glory • Little Fire • Megan Blyth

• Jonathan Powell • Sion Russell Jones

• and more...!!

Tickets for all Bogbain festivals available from TICKETSOUP.com or 0844 395 4000 NB - LIMITED PLACES!!

New

Festival !

£45

MAY

< B O G B A I N >putting the ‘ ‘aste back in festivals

www.bogba infarm.com

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1 Tickets for all Bogbain festivals available from TICKETSOUP.com or 0844 395 4000 NB - LIMITED PLACES!!

The Inverness Whisky Festival.Friday 6th & Saturday 7th AprilFor full details of activities & events see feature P26/27 >>

APRIL

JUNE

Starring:

Blazin’ Fiddles • Le Vent Du Nord Kathleen MacInnes Band • Wizz Jones

Furnace Mountain • Groanbox Boys • Edwina Hayes • Halton Quartet • Bruce MacGregor Band

AFTERNOON SHOWS | GREAT FOOD | REAL ALE

weekend ticket £69

Blazin’ Fiddles Furnace Mountain Edwina Hayes Le Vent Du Nord

Thebiggest & best Celtic music event in the area !!

CONTENTSROAD........................................................... P05ART ............................................................... P07FILM ............................................................. P10KIDS ............................................................. P13SPILL........................................................... P17MUSIC......................................................... P18SPECIALS ................................................. P26SPORT ........................................................ P36THEATRE .................................................. P38PROPERTY.............................................. P45EATING OUT .......................................... P48MAKING THE MOST OF YOU..... P53CLASSIFIEDS.......................................... P57SURFING & KEN KELMAN .......... P60QR CODES ............................................... P61IG:U SHOW.............................................. P62

PLUS

SPILL:.Frightened.Rabbit................p17

Win.Tickets.to.see.Frightened.Rabbit...............................p24

EDEN COURT FILM GUIDE:April.shows......................................p31–34

Win.Tickets.to.see.Breakin’.Convention.-.excellentbreakdance.show.in.May...............p42

What.do.you.think.of..Belladrumacts.for.2012?..........................................p44

Win.Tickets.to.see.mediumTony.Stockwell.......................................p57

The Festival season starts.... NOW !Now, indeed. Well, it’s true - first up is the Inverness Whisky Festival (P26) early this month, quickly followed by Brew At The Bog (P2) early May, then the all new Inverness Comedy Festival - Happyness - which runs at the end of May - and then all of a sudden it’ll be R***Ness!Hold on - doesn’t that mean it will be summer?!?! Yes - it’s just loitering round the corner waiting to finish its rollie... So, that means you can brighten your spirits, ditch a few of those under-or-over-garments you wear so many of, and devote yourselves to the pursuit of thrills. And thrills we got plenty of, dearie, plenty. Why, in these very pages, you’ll find such palpitation-inducing prospects as the musical onslaught of FRIGHTENED RABBIT, TWIN ATLANTIC, ANDY IRVINE, DICK GAUGHAN, MILES KANE, GARETH GATES, FUNK D’VOID, THE DUPLETS, SPIERS & BODEN and local types PURPLE DIVIDE; there’s also art from DOUG FISHBONE, DUNCAN LANG, CATHERINE BERTOLA and ROGER&REID; kids can thrill to the SCIENCE MUSEUM LIVE show or a great WALLACE & GROMIT exhibition, or take in some animation (MUPPETS, SPIRITED AWAY, THE ILLUSIONIST); the adventurers out there can take on the BLACK ISLE CYCLE CHALLENGE or the VANS DAWN OF THE SHRED; and for those of us who like to indulge in a little bit of what we up here do best, choose between that Whisky festival or a bumper set of uniquely Scottish theatre events - THE STEAMIE, PASSING PLACES, STICK GRANNY ON THE ROOF RACK or NEDATOR. If you need any more summeriness (look it up), check out Highland Hospice’s new mascot - BOBBY BEE - on P29. “ Its’allbleedin’comin’togevver! “

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April 2012

19 church st inverness 01463 715125 [email protected] ISSUE OUT 23 APR !! deadline for submission: FRI 06 APR

from 06

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call: 01463 322904

DARTH VADER-MOBILE? Strong the force is with this one! Surely the most stylish of the recent batch of concept cars waved temptingly under our noses. The Toyoya ‘Fun-Vii’ is like a giant smartphone screen on (pretty natty LED-lit) wheels. Absolutely stunning in its ‘off-mode’ jet black, in actual fact, the WHOLE of the bodywork can function as an electronic display - allowing the user to choose to change the entire car’s colour, display full colour graphics or even motion video. The interior of the vehicle can similarly be altered to suit your mood. Not just intended to catch the eye, you will be permanently connected with your surroundings - with the vehicle able to detect hidden hazards in advance or to find friends who may be driving nearby. Would you drive one? Let us know: vote online: bit.ly/ICA116R or scan the QR on the pic

road

Saturday 14 April 2012 // 7.30 - 8.30pm // Culloden Battlefield Free // All Welcome // Refreshments will be served

A free arts event that celebrates the anniversary of the battle and invites you to experience the first outcomes from the artists’ research residencies at the site by Catherine Bertola and ROGER&REID.

Launch of Artist’s Multiple // Catherine BertolaCatherine Bertola’s research has focused on the importance of cloth in Highland culture, in particular the White Cockades that were worn during the battle as a symbol of allegiance to the Jacobite cause. On the night we will be launching a special artist’s limited edition and inviting everyone to make their own cockade.

Live Outdoor Performance // ROGER&REIDCollaborative duo Graeme Roger & Kevin Reid have been exploring the battlefield’s resonance by working with film, action, music and kite cameras. Collaborating with local piper Donal Brown, Gaelic singers Eilidh Mackenzie and Calum Barker, as well as pupils from Culloden Academy the pair have created a live responsive outdoor performance that will take place at dusk (dress for the weather). Come and experience this unique intervention that will contain film work by Academy pupils, musical improvisation, interviews from visitors and moments that breathe air into the past.

Earlier in the day // Anniversary Service // 11am // The Gaelic Society of InvernessThe Gaelic Society of Inverness hosts an anniversary service commemorating the lives lost in the battle of Culloden at the Memorial Cairn on Culloden Moor. This battle was one of the shortest and bloodiest fought on British soil, it turned brother against brother and the impact of the battle echoed across Britain. 266 years on, Culloden is still a site that connects us intimately with our past.

The artists’ research residences and event are funded by the Highland Culture Strategic Board through Creative Scotland’s Rural Innovation Fund.

For more information contact IOTA on 01463 724383 www.invernessoldtownart.co.uk

Touching Distance // Astar Buntainn

IOTA & The Highland Council & The National Trust for Scotland present

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You never know quite what you’re going to get from the Highland Institute for Contemporary Art (HICA). Sometimes not even after you’ve experienced it, which is, in its own way, rather admirable. The emphasis is on the conceptual end of the art spectrum, but while it could perhaps do with reaching out more to pull people in (the ambiguity of opening times being a case in point), if you make the effort you’re likely to see intriguing stuff. This month’s exhibition by DOUG FISHBONE, called NEITHER HERE NOR THERE (01 APR-06 MAY) takes the form of a couple of video works playing around with preconception, perception and even a little deadpan humour. In Elmina [1], white New Yorker Fishbone casts himself as an African prince in a movie alongside an all black cast with no mention made of the incongruity, releasing it as both a limited edition art work for a Western art-world audience and an inexpensive DVD for mainstream African markets. In Untitled (Hypno Project) [2], twelve protagonists are filmed watching a video while hypnotised, having been given suggestions to respond in certain ways. To find out more go to www.h-i-c-a.org

There’s more playing around with expectations at CULLODEN BATTLEFIELD on SAT 14 APR when an IOTA art project called TOUCHING DISTANCE [3] celebrates the anniversary of the battle and the culmination of artists’ research residencies at the site by CATHERINE BERTOLA and ROGER&REID. Bertola’s research has focused on the importance of cloth in Highland culture, in particular the White Cockades that were worn during the battle as a symbol of allegiance to the Jacobite cause. Catherine’s new limited edition lead cockade will be launched on the night. ROGER&REID have been exploring the resonance held within the battle site itself using film, action, music and kite cameras. Working with local piper Donal Brown, Gaelic singers Eilidh Mackenzie and James Graham and pupils from Culloden Academy, they’ve created the framework for a live responsive performance which will take place at dusk. Find out more at www.invernessoldtownart.co.uk

Back in the city centre IG:LU at 19 CHURCH ST showcases the work of the very talented DUNCAN LANG [4] FRI 09–THU 19 APR, showcasing ten years of photography from across the world, with images documenting trips in Asia, America, Europe and Scotland. As part of the exhibition Duncan will be turning his camera on Inverness, capturing the big vistas and small details that make all his work so rich and interesting. www.theIG.LU

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BEAULY GALLERY New works from ESTHER ARMSTRONG and DAVID BODY, with additions from local artists. beaulygallery.co.uk

CASTLE GALLERY IAN MCWHINNIE PAINTINGS & BILL & JACQUIE MCNEILL GLASS31 March - 21 April Ian’s oil

paintings are inspired by memories of childhood, musicians, dancers,

circuses, the sea and his travels throughout Europe and America. These paintings are complemented by functional, decorative and architectural fused glass pieces created by the McNeill Studio. castlegallery.co.uk

EDEN COURT GALLERY DOODLE THERAPY MOORE by Jonathan Moore – Stalls Gallery, April Artist Jonathan Moore hopes this show will inspire other sufferers of mental health issues to express themselves using art.

EILEAN DUBH by James A Moore – Blink Gallery, April A beautiful collection of photographs of the Black Isle by James Alan Moore. jamesamoore.co.ukPARKINSON’S AWARENESS WEEKThe One Touch Gallery, 16-22 AprilExhibition by Parkinson’s Disease sufferer & artist Tom Maxwell.

ELGIN LIBRARY MORAY ARTS MEMBERS EXHIBITION31 March - 13 AprilPAINTINGS BY CAROLA SPLETTSOESSER 21 April - 4 May

H-I-C-ADOUG FISHBONE: NEITHER HERE NOR THERE 1 April - 6 May, See main page. h-i-c-a.org

HUNG CALMAN ARTWORKS - YEAR ONE: URBAN V NATURE, thru Apr

Calman ArtWorks aim is to give young people who have had little or no involvement in the arts a chance to experience the power and

relevance of the artistic experience. Last year, forty six young people worked with Elgin based visual artist Lynne Strachan to create designs inspired by the theme of Urban V Nature.

IG:LU DUNCAN LANG: Travel PhotographySee main page www.theig.lu

IMAGA DOG’S LIFE - Setting the Scene with Wallace & Gromit, 31 Mar - 28 AprA collection of some of the props and sets created by Aardman Animations which feature in the Wallace and Gromit films. This is a rare chance to get behind the scenes and appreciate the ingenious imagination and elaborate detail which goes into creating Wallace & Gromit’s world. Visitors will be able to see the prison in which Gromit awaited rescue by Shaun the Sheep, the Greenhouse where he grew his beloved marrow for the competition, the Basement of 62 West Wallaby Street where Wallace tried out his Mind-Manipulation-O-Matic contraption and many other scenes.

TRIUMPHS & TRAGEDIES, 31 Mar - 19 May, Inverness Museum and Art Gallery will be marking the return of their summer opening hours with a portraits exhibition dedicated to the Royal House of Stuarts. inverness.highland.museum

INCHMORE GALLERYA FINE ART FRIENDSHIP 31 Mar - 28 Apr

Celebrating 25 years since graduating from Edinburgh College of Art, artists HELEN L ROBERTSON and NICOLE STEVENSON are exhibiting their paintings together for the first time. The exhibiton will showcase their love of the West Coast of Scotland and the Outer Isles, primarily its beaches and bays, in pastels, mixed media and collage. inchmoregallery.co.uk

IONA GALLERY, Kingussie, MATISSE: DRAWING WITH SCISSORSLATE WORKS 1950 - 1954 to 22 Apr, Featuring 35 lithographic prints of the famous cut-outs, produced in the last four years of his life. It includes many of his iconic images, such as The Snail and the Blue Nudes. THE MAKING OF LONGBIRD: WILL ANDERSON 28 Apr to 27 Maytheionagallery.co.uk

JUST ART, FochabersSCOTLAND: FABRICATIONS, to 7 April,

KILMORACK GALLERY DAVID COOK & HENRY FRASERto 28 Apr, Two painters worth watching. David Cook lives a life so immersed in paint that he has been able to paint some of the most energetic and profound landscapes currently produced in Scotland. Henry Fraser has a studio in Edinburgh where he creates paintings of characters with a chink that lets us see their souls. kilmorackgallery.co.uk

MORAY ART CENTRE ELIZABETH STRATH: Sacred Figures & Places, to 11 Apr FROM SCOTLAND TO SPAIN14 Apr - 26 May Prints & paintings by Geoff MacEwan. morayartcentre.org

NAIRN MUSEUMCelebrating 150 yearsJOHN GORDON & SONfrom 9 Apr

SUTOR CREEK CAFÉ, Cromarty CROMARTY SEA AND SKY Paintings by Pat Hay, to 15 July Inspired by beautiful landscapes and seascapes.

TORE GALLERY NEW STILL LIFE PAINTINGSfrom 6 Apr, a colourful exhibition of new Still Life paintings by gallery artists including JENNIFER MACKENZIE, ISABELL DICKSON, FIONA MATHESON, CLARE BLOIS and CHRISTINE O’KEEFFE. A mixed show of painting, printmaking, ceramics, jewellery runs alongside08

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[email protected] | www.morayartcentre.org Facebook: morayartcentre | Twitter : MorayArtCentre

MORAY art CENTRE

FROM SCOTLAND TO SPAIN

PRINTS AND PAINTINGS

Geoff MacEwan

14.04. - 26.05.2012 Open Tuesday to Friday 10am to 5pm & Saturday 10am - 4pm ADMISSION FREE

FILMPuppets Without StringsIt’s apparently the nationwide Puppet Animation festival this month, billed as “the largest annual performing arts event for children.” Unfortunately you wouldn’t really know it, with participation up here fractured to say the least, to the extent that even the title of the festival is being stretched to “puppets AND animation” by some like the excellent BIKE SHED in Merkinch. At least it’s showing support for the event and there are some fine films on show. First up is SPIRITED AWAY on 31 MAR, master animator Hayao Miyazaki’s stunning animated fantasy that nods at Alice Through The Looking Glass and Narnia, followed on SAT 07 APR by French director Sylvain Chomet’s gorgeous look at 50s Scotland, THE ILLUSIONIST [2], where every frame is a work of art. Finally on SAT 14 APR it’s THE IRON GIANT from The Incredibles’ director Brad Bird with an all-star cast of voices (Jennifer Aniston, Harry Connick Jr and Vin Diesel) telling the riveting story of a boy and his robot best friend. BANFF CASTLE are also embracing the festival with a whole programme of films and workshops, with screenings at Banff Town Hall, which you can find more about by going to www.banffcastle.org.uk

Eden Court aren’t strictly participating in the festival, though a case can be made for incorporating the screening of the Oscar-winning THE MUPPETS [1], 02–12 APR. The rest of their cinema programme is as enticing as ever as you can see from the full listings on the centre pages of this issue. We’re particularly looking forward to an ITALIAN FILM FESTIVAL - 15-26 APRIL (featuring THE JEWEL; a timely film about corporate corruption, directed by Andrea Molaioli and starring the awesome TONI SERVILLO), RAMPART (great script from James Ellroy and a fantastic WOODY HARRELSON performance that might even match his impressive turn in the Julianne Moore Sarah Palin HBO TV biopic), a sneak preview of EWAN MCGREGOR’s newie, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN ahead of release and Nuri Bilge Ceylan’s spectacular ONCE UPON A TIME IN ANATOLIA which those in the know are praising as film of the year already.

If all that cinematic wonder inspires you to make your own films, then you might be interested in the NORTHERN LIGHTS project, a Scotland-wide documentary to be made by you. The aim is to gather together bits of film submitted by anyone who’s interested, from fragments to more extended pieces with a pretty much free brief in terms of what you shoot. There are £10,000 worth of awards available to the people the organisers consider to have made the best contribution to the project. For more details go to their website at www.wearenorthernlights.com which also has online tutorials, feedback and links to their Twitter feed. Sounds interesting...

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FROM SAT 31 MARCHSPIRITED AWAY @ The Bike Shed, Merkinchsee feature <<<THE HUNGER GAMES @ Eden Courtcontinues its run... have you seen it yet?

FROM SUN 01 APRILYOUNG ADULT @ Eden CourtRED DOG @ Eden Court

FROM MON 02 APRILTHE MUPPETS @ Eden Courtsee feature <<<MIRROR MIRROR @ Vue Inverness

FROM TUE 03 APRILTHE SQUID AND THE WHALE @ Eden CourtAn Inverness Film Fans screening*

FROM WED 04 APRILIRON SKY @ Vue Inverness

FROM THU 05 APRILTITANIC 3D @ Vue Inverness

FROM FRI 06 APRILTHE ARTIST @ Eden CourtYes, you know, the one that won all the Oscars!THE RAVEN @ Eden CourtTHE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL @ Eden Court Slumdog Geriatrics?MICHAEL @ Eden CourtHEADHUNTERS @ Vue InvernessTHE COLD LIGHT OF DAY @ Vue Inverness

FROM SAT 07 APRILTHE ILLUSIONIST @ The Bike Shed, Merkinchsee feature <<<RESTLESS NATIVES @ Eden Court

FROM SUN 08 APRILROMANTICS ANONYMOUS @ Eden Court

FROM WED 11 APRILBATTLESHIP @ Vue Cinema

FROM THU 12 APRILSALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN @ Eden Court - Friends Preview Screeningsee feature <<<

FROM FRI 13 APRILRAMPART @ Eden Courtsee feature <<<THE ADOPTED @ Eden CourtBLACK GOLD @ Eden CourtGONE @ Vue Inverness

FROM SAT 14 APRILTHE IRON GIANT @ The Bike Shed, Merkinchsee feature <<<JOURNEY 2 – THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND @ Eden Court

FROM SUN 15 APRILItFF @ Eden CourtItalian Film Festival - see centre pages

FROM TUE 17 APRILAWAY FROM HER @ Eden CourtAn Inverness Film Fans screening*

TUES 17 APRILRIGOLETTO: LIVE FROM THE ROYAL OPERA HOUSE @ Vue Inverness

FROM THU 19 APRILAPRIL ADVENTURE FILMS @ Eden Court

FROM FRI 20 APRILWE BOUGHT A ZOO @ Eden CourtTHE IRON LADY @ Eden CourtONCE UPON A TIME IN ANATOLIA @ Eden CourtTRISHNA @ Eden CourtSALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN @ Vue Inverness see feature <<<

FROM SAT 21 APRILTHE NIGHT OF THE IGUANA @ Eden CourtHIGHLANDER @ Eden Court

FROM THU 26 APRILMARVEL AVENGERS ASSEMBLE @ Vue Inverness

THU 26 APRILTEAM AMERICA - Staff Pick @ Eden Court

FROM FRI 27 APRILIN DARKNESS @ Eden CourtBEL AMI @ Eden CourtINTO THE ABYSS @ Eden CourtTHE KID WITH A BIKE @ Eden Court

FROM SAT 28 APRILTHE VOW @ Eden Court

NB: FULL EDEN COURT FILM GUIDE P31

*Inverness Film Fans [InFiFa] meet fortnightly at Eden Court for screenings & discussion. New Member’s welcome. For programme details visit: www.invernessfilmfans.org

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11-14 AprilEvenings 7:30pmSaturday Matinee 2:30pm

Tickets from £1001463 234234www.eden-court.co.ukwww.invernessgangshow.net

Gang Show

2012

Inverness Area

It’s The Taking PartThat Counts...

KIDS

Last month we pointed out how science is enjoying a resurgence in popularity thanks to TV shows like Bang Goes The Theory, James May Explains and of course, the man made entirely of hair, teeth and post-pop curiosity, Brian Cox. Hopefully you’ll have joined the rush to learn more at Elgin College’s Family Science Day and are no doubt hungering for more. Just as well then that the SCIENCE MUSEUM LIVE ON TOUR is coming to EDEN COURT EMPIRE on SUN 15 APR. If you’ve ever been to the original Science Museum in London you’ll know it’s a place of genuine wonder, with lots of buttons to press and a shop to rival the greatest toy stores in the land. Most importantly it manages to communicate the fact that learning about the world can and should be fun. This live show on tour maintains that message with spectacular science demonstrations, extraordinary experiments and a theatrical experience that might just ignite the first spark in any budding Coxes. For a taste of what to expect see http://tinyurl.com/88xv9l5

For hands-on involvement with a little more of an artistic bent, why not head to INVERNESS MUSEUM & ART GALLERY for A DOG’S LIFE: SETTING THE SCENE WITH WALLACE & GROMIT from 31 MAR-28 APR. Neatly coinciding with the Puppet and Animation Festival which you can read more about on our film pages, this is a great chance to see actual props and sets created by Aardman Animations which feature in the Wallace and Gromit films. Visitors will be able to see the prison in which Gromit awaited rescue by Shaun the Sheep, the Greenhouse where he grew his beloved marrow for the competition, the Basement of 62 West Wallaby Street where Wallace tried out his Mind-Manipulation-O-Matic contraption and many other scenes. The model house in Letsby Avenue contains 3D viewers of stereoscopic behind-the-scenes stills and there is even an original model of the Anti-Pesto Van, W&G’s preferred mode of transport. Clips from the films show how sets like these are used to create the illusion, but that’s not all. The exhibition takes a wider view of stop-frame animation using modelling clay. Part of the gallery is set up as a workshop space for visitors to create their own characters - the modelling clay is provided – so if you are inspired by what you see you can have a go yourself. The opportunity to animate your models and make them into short films will be available through a programme of short supervised sessions and workshops. For more information see www.inverness.highland.museum

FILMART MUSIC SPORT SPECIALS THEATRE

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SAT 31 MARFilm

FILM: SPIRITED AWAY @ The Bike Shed, Grant St, 2pm. See Film pagesSpecial Events

SPRING FUNDRAISER @ Grantown Playgroup, Heathfield Rd, Grantown. Daffodil Tea. Car boot sale, stalls, raffle, kids treasure hunt and face painting, refreshments available, 10am - 1pm, FREE entry.

KIDS PICK: CLOUD MAN n moray@ Universal Hall, Findhorn, Sat 31 Mar, 4pm. Get ready for plenty of plays on the word “cloud” in this blend of puppetry and storytelling created by Ailie Cohen and performed by JEN EDGAR. It tells the story of Cloudia who always has her head in, yep, you guessed it, the clouds. She is also a cloud expert who all her life has dreamt of seeing a Cloud Man, one of a breed of extremely rare creatures living a quiet life high up in the sky. As the story progresses you’re asked to follow the clues to the very top of Cloud Mountain where the views are surprising, and if you are lucky, you may see something very special indeed. 45 mins - suitable for children aged 4–7 & their adults. £6 / £5 concs/£4 U16’s (concessions).

TUE 03 APRSpecial Events

KITE MAKING @ Pavilion Shinty Pitch, Drumnadrochit, 1.30pm. A chance to make kites out of bits and bobs and, weather permitting, fly them. Meet at the Pavilion at the shinty pitch in Drumnadrochit. 1.30-3pm. Corinne McCallum 01463 710786.Children £3.

CRECHE WITH BOUNCY CASTLE @ Strathpeffer Community Centre. A great chance for kids to burn off some energy with the bouncy castle, playing games or drawing. Fully supervised. Suitable for 2-8 years old. £2.50 child/£5 family. Please book in advance.

WED 04 APRArt

LIVE ‘N’ DEADLY- DSI: DEADLY SCENE INVESTIGATION @ Bught

Entrance, Inverness Islands, 2pm. There’s been a wildlife crime on the Ness Islands! Someone’s been eaten but whodunnit? Can you deduce who ate who at the Deadly Scene Investigation? Based on CBBC’s Live ‘N’ Deadly wildlife and adventure show. Meet at the Bught Park entrance to the Ness Islands. Start between 2pm and 3pm. Corinne McCallum 01463 710786.Special Events

INCREDIBLE EDIBLE @ Strathpeffer Community Centre. A chance to learn to make simple, tasty food and then sit down and eat what you have made. Suitable for P2 upwards. £6 Please book in advance.

SAT 07 APRFilm

FILM: THE ILLUSIONIST @ The Bike Shed, Grant St, 2pm. See Film pages

KIDS SATURDAY MATINEE @ Strathpeffer Community Centre. Entry by raffle ticket - £2 per strip, with a raffle prize pulled at the end. Children under 5 must be accompanied by an adult. Sweets, popcorn and juice will also be on sale.

SUN 08 APRSpecial Events

EASTER FUN DAY @ Whin Park. Fun for all the family at Whin Park on Easter Sunday. Face painting, music, ice cream, treasure hunt and much more raising funds for MFR Cash for Kids. www.mfr.co.uk/cashforkids.

MON 09 APRFilm

KIDS FILM SHOWING – THE SMURFS @ Strathpeffer Community Centre. Entry by raffle ticket - £2 per strip with a raffle prize pulled at the end. Children under 5 must be accompanied by an adult. Sweets, juice.

TUE 10 APRArt

DRAGONS! REELIG GLEN @ Reelig Glen Top Car Park , 2pm. It looks like the dragons have been out at Reelig Glen again. Come along and see if we can track them down, as they have left all sorts of clues to follow. Meet at the top car park at Reelig Glen. 2 - 3.30pm. Corinne McCallum 01463 710786.Special Events

CRECHE WITH BOUNCY CASTLE @ Strathpeffer Com Ctr. See Tue 03 Apr

WED 11 APRArt

MAKE YOUR OWN MOSAIC @ Strathpeffer Community Centre. Come along and design and create your own mosaic using a variety of paper/foam mosaic tiles. Suitable for P1 – S1. £6 per child. Please book in advance.

THU 12 APRPUPPET MAKING WORKSHOP @ Banff Castle, 10am.Film

ANIMATED FILM EVENT @ Banff Castle, 6pm.Theatre/Puppets

PUPPET THEATRE ‘LANDSCAPES’ @ Banff Town Hall, 1pm, 2.30pm, 4pm.

FRI 13 APRArt

PUPPET MAKING WORKSHOP @ Banff Castle, 10amFilm

ANIMATED FILM EVENT @ Banff Castle, 6pm

Special Events

THE GRUFFALO @ Culloden, 2pm. Oh help, oh no - it’s the Gruffalo! Come along and see if you can find him. Aimed at families with younger children. Meet at the Doocot car park, Culloden. 2 - 3.30pm. 01463 710786.Theatre

CHASING RAINBOWS @ Nairn Community Centre, 2.30pm, 6.30pm. Join The Pallywags in their enchanting new production. Come sing and dance along with Lou, Chew and Groo Groo. The show also features Rodd Christensen (‘Spencer’ in Ballymory) and Lauren Hair (Got to Dance) as Betsy Breeze.01667 453476 or email [email protected]. 01667 453476Theatre/Puppets

PUPPET THEATRE ‘THE ELF OF GLEN FERN’ @ Banff Town Hall, 2pm.

SAT 14 APRArt

PUPPET MAKING WORKSHOP @ Banff Castle, 10amFilm

ANIMATED FILM EVENT @ Banff Castle, 6pm

FILM: THE IRON GIANT @ The Bike Shed, Grant St, 2pm. See Film pagesSpecial Events

DAFFODIL FESTIVAL @ Brodie Castle. Enjoy daffodil teas with delicious home baking and entertainment, daffodil display in the drawing room and daffodil walks with the gardens team.Daffodil teas from 1.30 - 4.00pm in the marquee, entertainment by Elgin Strathspey.

YURI GAGARIN FAMILY ACTIVITIES @ The Multicultural Centre, 1 Ardconnel Terrace, Inverness. Organised by the Highland-Russia Connection charity. 01667456245. www.highlandrussia.org.uk.

SUN 15 APRDAFFODIL FESTIVAL @ Brodie CastleAs Sat 14

SAT 21 APRYOUTH OUTDOOR CHALLENGE @ Badaguish Outdoor Centre. Youth Outdoor Challenge is a fun weekend of camping and orienteering with other activities for schools, clubs and groups entering as teams of three or four with a supervisor. youthoutdoorchallenge.org/index2

SUN 22 APRYOUTH OUTDOOR CHALLENGE @ Badaguish Outdoor Centre. See Sat 21 Apr

SUN 29 APRBUTTERFLY RESCUE DAY @ Arderseir Common. The small blue butterfly needs your help! Its caterpillars only eat a rare plant which we have been growing from seeds. Today we will be planting them along the foreshore between Ardersier Common and Fort George. Please give us a hand if you can. Tools will be provided but please bring your own gardening gloves. Meet at Ardersier Common car park between Ardersier and Fort George. 2–4pm. 01463 710786. Free.

SAT 05 MAYTheatre

JAMP @ Universal Hall, Findhorn, 2pm. Family entertainment - parkour, acrobatics, dance, stunts, gymnastics, breakdance and physical theatre.14

What’s on at The Pavilion in Aprilw

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Fri 20th Apr, 8pm

Blazin’ FiddlesTICKETS £15 / £14 / £6

Sat 21st Apr, doors 7.30pm

Frightened RabbitTICKETS £14 (+ Booking fee)

Sat 31st Mar, 8pm

An Eveningof Burlesque

TICKETS £19.50 / £18 (over 18s only)

16 & 17 May: Food & Craft Fair 26 May: Showaddywaddy

Dates For Your Diary:

Fri 27th Apr, 8pm

Isla GrantTICKETS £17 / £15 / £6

Tickets from Pavilion Office 01997 420124 or

24HR HOTLINE: 08444 771000 www.ticketweb.co.uk

Selkirk’s finest, FRIGHTENED RABBIT, are coming up to the Highlands for an intriguing-sounding tour, mixing acoustic and full band sets and taking in places as diverse as Forres, Ullapool, Mull, Stornaway and Strathpeffer, getting the lay of the land before they play Belladrum in August. Check out the listings page for where and when to see what should be a terrific mix of smart songs and entertaining onstage yarns. We caught up with mainman SCOTT HUTCHISON to find out more:

Why did you decide to do the tour as a mix of acoustic and full band sets? It’s really to do with the size of some of the venues. If we did full band in a 100 capacity club it would probably end up sounding fairly awful, for us and the audience. I’d much rather the songs came through than ending up blowing people’s heads off.

You’re going to be playing some pretty far flung parts of the Highlands and Islands. Being from way down South in Selkirk, which virtually makes you Cockneys, do you get the fear when you come so far North? Ha! Grant & I have family ties to Wick, so we’re quite well versed in the northern fettle, thanks. I welcome the particular brand of madness that is prevalent in the remote parts of this country. In fact, I’d be disappointed if the crowds weren’t a bit on the mental side for this tour.

You were due to play Belladrum up here last year, but understandably cancelled to undertake a US tour instead. What was the American experience like? How did crowds react? It was brilliant. We’ve been touring there for about 4 years, and this was easily the best yet. We were opening for Death Cab For Cutie, playing some monster sized arenas. It was an incredible experience to feel like we were winning over new fans each night.

There’s always been a certain grandeur to your sound. Have you got aspirations to play the big arenas? Is there a secret Bono inside you trying to get out? There’s no secret Bono in there, as I think I’ve always been quite forthright about our desire to be a big band with a big sound. Though, in our new material we’ve tried not to use that ‘epic’ (horrid word) soundscape nearly as much as we did last time ‘round and I’d be perfectly happy playing in lovely theatres as opposed to arenas.

How’s the dynamic in the group changed now you’re a five piece? It has become a collaborative effort. Don’t get me wrong, there still needs to be someone in charge (me, Bono), but the music we are making now is so much more varied and interesting. Becoming a 5-piece has made us a better band.

What’s this week’s explanation for why you’re called Frightened Rabbit? Is it a name you’re going to be comfortable with for the rest of your days? Ach, I don’t know if I love the name, but we’re stuck with it now. It’s from an old nickname that my parents gave me in nursery, as I was really shy as a youngster. I think you just live with it for a bit and, in the end, who cares?

Previous albums seem to have been very much inspired by your emotional state at the time. What’s the mood of the forthcoming songs? Dark. It’s been an interesting year for me personally... Lyrically, I’ve pushed it a bit further than on Winter of Mixed Drinks and a lot of the music is in the minor key now, which is new for us.

Where’s your inspiration coming from at the moment? Any other bands feel like kindred spirits? I’m always inspired by The Twilight Sad, basically Scotland’s finest band. Often, you don’t need to look much further than your own doorstep for the good stuff. I love Withered Hand, Aidan Moffatt, FOUND, The Phantom Band. Scotland is (s)miles better, as they say.

What’s the greatest song anyone has ever written? Poor Places by Wilco is my favourite song, if I had to pick just one. Jeff Tweedy is a hero of mine.

And a lyric of your own that you’re particularly proud of. Hard to say. I could probably tell you the ones that make me cringe... But I won’t!

If people haven’t heard you before, how would you describe the sounds you make? Just enough out of the ordinary.

What’s your most surprising talent? I have no skills outside of what I currently do as my job. Shit at football, can’t do wheelies, average cook, slow at reading. Can’t even work a yo-yo anymore. Useless.

After this tour what are the plans for the rest of the year? We’re recording the next album in May. We’ve got tons of songs and we’re all itching to get it made. Then we’re playing a few festivals before the record comes out later this year. I just want to keep busy really, keeps the Devil at bay.

Any message for the people of Inverness? See you shortly. 17

SCOTT HUTCHISON: FRIGHTENED RABBIT

FRIGHTENED RABBIT @ Various venues - see below! S P I L Lthe icainterview

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MUSICReal Folk

This is possibly the best time in history to be a folk musician, at least in terms of commercial success. And if you define “folk” as anything orbiting the Mumford’s Death Star, from raggle-taggle boisterousness to sensitive singer songwriting. Which is all very well and does make for at least some alternative in the charts to relentless R’n’B collaborations about clubs/champagne/fine ladies and world-weary sexual braggadocio, but rather obscures the fact that true folk has a scope and emotional force that’s been all but forgotten. Just namechecking Woody Guthrie every now and then isn’t enough.

So if you’re looking for what the genre is really about, you should start with someone like DICK GAUGHAN [1] (IRONWORKS, THU 12 APR). Having played everything from free jazz to rock and country over the years, it’s his contribution to the heartbeat of Scottish music that’s been most important, particularly his love of “Muckle Sangs”, The great Scots Ballads of antiquity with themes and motifs traceable back thousands of years. As a powerful songwriter of both the personal and the political, he reminds you exactly why a man with a guitar can still move mountains. Don’t miss his gig or indeed his excellent website at www.dickgaughan.co.uk

Another of folk’s great names appears this month in the form of ANDY IRVINE [2] (EDEN COURT, SUN 22 APR). From Sweeney’s Men in the mid 60s and enormous success with Planxty in the 70s he’s maintained his excellence into the 21st century, the Irishman regarded as a world music pioneer and an icon for traditional music and musicians, establishing himself as something of a modern day troubadour. Again, one not to be missed.

MILES KANE [3] (IRONWORKS, MON 23 APR) is also a bit of a troubadour, though much more in the mould of a Scott Walker. First with The Rascals and more recently as one half of The Shadow Puppets with Arctic Monkey Alex Turner, he’s championed lush pop with and without big orchestral foundations. His new EP “First Of My Kind” is out to coincide with Record Store Day on 21 Apr, so head along to Inverness’ best record shop, Imperial Music in the Victorian Market to buy it before you check out what should be a rather special gig.

Recommendations must also be hurled the way of the Biffyesque TWIN ATLANTIC [4] surfing burgeoning success at IRONWORKS on SAT 14 APR and up and coming local youngsters PURPLE DIVIDE [5] launching their new ‘Trapped’ ep by performing a special gig at IG:LU on FRI 20 APR with the sublime SCOTT REID in support, and a

CLUBBINGCLASSICAL FOLK JAZZ/world ROCK

19 > GARETH GATES > DUPLETS > FRIGHTENED RABBIT > BEL CANTO > MORE >

CLASSICAL WED 28 MARClassical

RICHARD DURRANT @ Universal Hall, Findhorn, 7.30pm.

THU 29 MARLUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR @ Strathpeffer Pavilion, 8pm Opera Bohemia, Scotland’s most dynamic young opera company, makes an eagerly-awaited return to these parts in Donizetti’s tragic opera loosely based on Sir Walter Scott’s The Bride of Lammermoor. SUZANNE SHAKESPEARE comes back to sing the part of Lucia, after a season with Opera Australia. £12 (conc. £10, school pupils £5) from Ticketweb/24-hr hotline 08444 771000, from June’s Card Shop Dingwall and Pavilion 01997 420124

FRI 30 MARGLENN MUNRO & PARTNER @ Elgin Museum, 7.30pm A musical evening and lecture by Glenn Munro.

THU 05 APRMisc.

THE BAND OF HER MAJESTY’S ROYAL MARINES SCOTLAND @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm A musical entertainment from the famous Band of Her Majesty’s Royal Marines Scotland incorporating not just military music, but also some light classical pieces, music from the shows, exquisite solo numbers on a range of instruments, a touch of Jazz and the traditional display of pageantry by the immaculate Corps of Drums. 01463 234 234

FRI 06 APRA WANDERER FANTASY @ Nairn Community Centre, 8pmMICHAEL LUNTS, actor and pianist, tells the story of Franz Schubert in words and music 01667 455701 www.musicnairn.org.uk.

SAT 21 APRBEL CANTO @ The Little Theatre, Nairn, 7pm Bel Canto - meaning ‘beautiful singing’ - is a group of highly talented musicians from as young as ten who have performed in many venues across the Highlands and Moray area. With pieces from traditional to opera: from Burns to Mozart. Teas, Coffees and Wine available Tickets: £10, Concessions: £8.

SAT 28 APRVERDI’S REQUIEM @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm The Inverness Choral returns with one of the most popular - and dramatic - works in the repertoire. 01463 234 234

SUN 29 APRCHORAL EVENSONG @ Inv Cathedral 5.30pm

WED 02 MAYSCOTTISH CHAMBER ORCHESTRA @ Eden Court Empire, 8pmDVORAK Czech Suite, MOZART Piano Concerto No 20 in D minor, K466, BEETHOVEN

Symphony No 2, JAKUB HRUSA conductor JONATHAN BISS piano. 01463 234 234

CLUBBING FRI 06 APRClubbing

FILTH AT DIGITAL @ Digital Nightclub 10pm Filth we know & love (Ross Lyall, Andrew McGibbon), Digital? Well, Digital was GOING to be Digital, but by the time you read this it might well be something else. Tricky business, naming clubs - there’s so darned many of them and they all moan if someone uses a similar name. For now, let’s just call it “The Club Formerly Known as Mister G’s”...

SAT 28 APRClubbing

GARETH GATES @ Miami NightclubYes, really - only he’s not singing, for he is now getting a reputation as a pretty nifty DJ - can imagine him have a good feel for scratching what with that ol’ stutter he used to rock.

SAT 05 MAYFUNK D’VOID & SILICONE SOUL @ Ironworks. MAYDAY WEEKENDER. 0871 789 4173

CLUBBING REGULARSWEDNESDAYSBROKE WEDNESDAYS @ Love2Love 11- 3amWEDNESDAY with SI PAUL - TOWIE @ MIAMI(The Only Wednesday Is ‘Ere) The Big Mix Of Party Pop And Rnb

THURSDAYS THURSDAY 118 - THIRSTDAY NIGHT @ MIAMI with Alottarhythm intelligent grooves pop and rnb

FRIDAYS BACK TO THE FRIDAYS @ Love2Love 10.30pm - 3am Bringing you the best music from today, tomorrow and the pastDMFAO @ MIAMI ( DANCE MY F***IN ASS OFF) With Allottarhythm Man on the decks Doors 10-3amRETRO FRIDAY NIGHTs @ HUSH, 9pm

SATURDAYSTHE BIG SQUEEZE @ Love2Love 10pm - 3amThe working week is over - celebrate with style! MIAMI’S SOUND MACHINE @ MIAMI

SUNDAYS118 / JUKE BOX with Si Paul… @ MIAMI The only night in Inverness where YOU get to choose the music all night 10.30 til 3am

FOLK WED 28 MARFolk

SCHIEHALLION @ The Gellions, 9.30pm

JOY DUNLOP & TWELFTH DAY @ Hootananny Gaelic singer Joy Dunlop and Scottish fiddle and harp duo Twelfth Day bring their blend of innovation and tradition to the subject of Scottish women’s lives, loves and poetry to tie in with the release of a collaborative album. 01463 233 651

THU 29 MARBRIAN O HEADHRA @ Hootananny

ANDY CHUNG @ The Gellions, 9.30pm

FRI 30 MARTHE ROYAL CONSERVATOIRE OF SCOTLAND - HOPE STREET COLLECTIVE @ The Craigmonie Centre, 7.30pm The Hope Street Collective are a collection of young traditional musicians from across Scotland, Ireland and America. Instrumentation includes; pipes, song, fiddle, accordion, harp, guitar and piano and they play a variety of traditional tunes and contemporary arrangements. Tickets available in advance and on the door - call 01456 459 224 or email [email protected] or book online atwww.booklochness.com. 01456 459 224

ANDY CHUNG @ The Gellions, 10pm

BALLACHLUISH HELLHOUNDS @ Hootananny Bluegrass, blues and country from a Glasgow band who were a big hit at Belladrum.

SAT 31 MARSPORRANATIONALS @ HootanannyFolk/Rock

SCHIEHALLION @ The Gellions, 5pm

DAVY COWAN @ The Gellions, 10pm

SUN 01 APRFolk

BLUE ROSE CODE @ The Old Bridge Inn, Aviemore, 8.30pm Spellbinding celtic-tinged acoustic ballads, delivered with a delicate growl. facebook.com/bluerosecode.Folk/Country

RACHEL HARRINGTON WITH THE KNOCK OUTS @ Bogbain Farm. Ancient sounding Country Noir. Drawing from a rich array of influences including an upbringing in the Pentecostal pines of Oregon and a dad with a secret stash of Motown and Stax albums, glimpses of Otis Redding, Loretta Lynn, Sam Cooke, Hank Williams, Ray Charles and Emmylou Harris can all be spotted prowling the edges of Harrington’s work. £10/8. 01463 772800

TUE 03 APRFolk

BLUE ROSE CODE @ HootanannySee Sun 01 Apr

FRI 06 APRTHE KILMARNOCK EDITION @ Eden Court OneTouch, 7.30pm Six multi award-winning artists, representing the best of Scotland’s new songwriters and all well known in their individual genres, come together to form a new exciting band. 01463 234 23420

Folk/Country

NORTHERN NASHVILLE CAITHNESS COUNTRY MUSIC FESTIVAL 2012 @ Halkirk Riding Centre. Since it started in 2004 the NNCCMF has gone from strength to strength, with country music fans converging on Caithness over Easter Weekend to be part of this 3-day 5-show extravaganza of live country music. There’ll be fans and top class acts from the USA, Canada, Europe, Ireland and the U.K. alongside a wealth of local talent and youth bands. nncmc.co.uk.

SAT 07 APRFolk

CELTIC HEART @ Market Bar.

MAD DOG MCREA @ The Old Bridge Inn, Aviemore, 10pm‘Jiggery folkery, hokery pokery... Mad Dog Mcrea blend a unique mixture of folk rock, pop, gypsy jazz, bluegrass and ‘shake your ass’ music. www.maddogmcrea.co.uk.

BRIAN O HEADHRA @ HootanannyFolk/Country

NNCCMF @ Halkirk Riding Centre See Fri 06

SUN 08 APRNNCCMF @ Halkirk Riding Centre See Fri 06

THU 12 APRFolk

DICK GAUGHAN @ IronworksSee main feature. A true legend of Scottish songwriting and pivotal influence on the development of folk and traditional music.

FINDLAY NAPIER & THE BAR-ROOM MOUNTAINEERS @ The Old Bridge Inn, Aviemore, 9pmA welcome return for local troubadour and his band, doing their nu-folk thang.

HARRY BIRD AND THE RUBBER WELLIES @ Hootananny

FRI 13 APRESTHER O’CONNOR @ Market Bar A quality piece of kit, this one. Having been described as sounding like ‘Neil Young meets Beyonce round at Joni Mitchell’s house’, she is also not averse to a bit of Jacques Brel and runs her own label, Redhead Records. Glam as the day is long and as musical as a very musicky thing. 01463 233292

NORTH SEA GAS @ Hootananny

SKERRYVORE @ Ironworks

SAT 14 APRNORTH SEA GAS @ Hootananny

SUN 15 APRASHLEY & THE COSMONAUTS @ Market Bar

DOLALLY @ Hootananny

FOLK PICKS: Folk

THE DUPLETS @ Eden Court OneTouch, Sat 21 Apr 8pm This is the exciting return to Eden Court for locally born duo The Duplets where they will debut material from their beautiful new album, Leverage. Gillian Fleetwood and Fraya Thomsen met at a music workshop at the Inverness’ Balnain House in its much-lamented guise as a ‘Home of Highland Music’ - who’s idea was it to stop that, again? (Idiots, whoever). Their friendship and musical partnership has endured and this gig comes just after the release of their second of what will surely be many albums. Class, mate, class!01463 234 234

RACHEL HAIR TRIO @ Cromarty Old Brewery, Sat 28 Apr 8.30pm One of the leading bands on the Scottish folk scene, the Rachel Hair Trio presents a sparkling blend of melodic harp mastery, rootsy songs and sophisticated rhythmical drive. Fronted by acclaimed harpist-composer RACHEL HAIR and featuring the much-in-demand singer-guitarist JENN BUTTERWORTH and top Scottish double bassist EUAN BURTON, the group has honed a repertoire drawn from traditional, contemporary and international sources to create performances that crackle with character, passion, verve and joie de vivre.Recommended.

SPIERS & BODEN @ Eden Court One Touch, 8pmDescribed by The Guardian as “the finest instrumental duo on the traditional scene” and twice winners of the BBC Radio 2 Folk Award for Best Duo, Spiers and Boden have made the genre of spontaneous, punky English folk very much their own stomping ground. 01463 234 234

WED 18 APRDANNSA @ Universal Hall, Findhorn, 7.30pm Blending together a gorgeous mix of dance, fiddle music, guitar, pipes, keyboard, and Gaelic song these engaging performers bring you an evening of traditional rhythms and finely crafted dance. The line-up includes dancers Caroline Reagh and Sandra Robertson; piper and stepdancer Fin Moore; Dannsa-co-founder Frank McConnell, Mac Morin (dancer and pianist), guitarist Matheu Watson plus the beautiful voice of MOD Gold Medallist Catriona Watt.

RM HUBERT/KRIS & ANDY (WRB)@ Hootananny

THU 19 APRWINGIN’ IT @ Hootananny

FRI 20 APRBLAZIN’ FIDDLES @ Strathpeffer Pavilion, 8pm Bruce MacGregor’s Highland legends who we might take for granted but have reached national and international acclaim, drawing together the distinct flavours of fiddle music from different parts of the Highlands. 01997 420124

RED KITES EP LAUNCH @ IronworksFolk/Blues

KENT DUCHAINE @ Market BarTerrific blues guitarist. 01463 233292

SAT 21 APRFolk

THE DUPLETS @ Eden Court OneTouch, 8pm See Inset <<<<

CEILIDH & DANCE @ North Kessock Community Hall, 7.30pm Organised by The Highland Branch of Seagull Trust Cruises, featuring solo singers, musicians and a Gaelic choir. Entry is £10 for adults (BYOB) with accompanied children under 12 free. Refreshments will be served at the interval and there will be a raffle with all proceeds from the evening going towards the running costs of the Branch’s new boat. STC is a charity providing free cruises on the Caledonia Canal for people with special needs.

WINGING IT @ Strathpeffer Comm Ctr 8pm Fabulous duo of ADAM BULLEY (mandolin/guitar) and CHAS MACKENXIE (guitar). Tickets £12 / £10 from Duncan Kennedy 01997 421124.

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SUN 22 APRANDY IRVINE @ Eden Court OneTouch, 8pmSee main feature. For more than 40 years, Andy has been a world music pioneer and icon for traditional music and musicians. And he’s funny as hell. 01463 234 234

HELPING HANDS CEILIDH @ Raigmore Recretion Hall, 7.30pm Featuring Tweed Ceilidh band Fully licensed bar and Stovies Raffle Tickets £4 Adult, £3 Child and £12 Family.

THU 26 APRTHE CAMPBELLS OF GREEPE & SPECIAL GUESTS @ Eden Court Empire, 8pmFive voices, one family, nine Mòd gold medals through three generations. 01463 234 234

FRI 27 APRALLY MACKENZIE @ Hootananny

JAMES GRANT @ Eden Court OneTouch, 8pm Love & Money frontman plays material from all his critically acclaimed solo albums and a smattering of the old favourites in a solo acoustic setting. 01463 234 234Folk/Country

ISLA GRANT @ Strathpeffer Pavilion, 8pm01997 420124Folk

SAT 28 APRRACHEL HAIR TRIO @ Cromarty Old Brewery, 8.30pm See inset on previous page.

SCHILTRUM @ Hootananny

FRI 04 MAYTHE GAELIC SOCIETY ANNUAL SHOWCASE @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm 01463 234 234

SAT 05 MAYINVERNESS MUSIC FESTIVALHIGHLIGHTS CONCERT @ Eden Court OneTouch, 7.30pm The Inverness Festival Association will present another outstanding concert of highlights from this year’s Inverness Music Festival as a tribute to the breadth of young talent we have on display in the Highlands. 01463 234 234

JAZZ/WORLD WED 28 MARJazz/World

YOLANDA BROWN @ Eden Court One Touch, 8pm saxophonist with a straight down the line approach, no Wayne Shorter squawks for this bird...

THU 29 MARCASTLE BLUES @ Castle Tavern, 8pm American blues.

FRI 30 MAR“BLUE NOTE NITE” WITH THE HIGHLAND HOT

CLUB @ The Greenhouse, Dingwall, 7.30pm

SUN 01 APRBLUE AND SENTIMENTAL @ Kingsmills Hotel, Inverness. Bl’azz event, a serendipitous reflection on the melancholia of jazz. 01463 257102.

TUE 03 APRWATOTO CONCERT @ Dochgarroch Village Hall, 7pm Watoto is a holistic care programme that was initiated as a response to the overwhelming number of orphaned and vulnerable children and women in Uganda. Free. watoto.com/the-choir.

WED 04 APRTHE BLACK ISLE STOMPERS PLAY DIXIELAND @ Castle Tavern. Swing and Latin in the Castle Tavern.

WATOTO CONCERT @ Smithton-Culloden Free Church 6.30pm As Tue 03

THU 05 APRMORAY JAZZ CLUB @ Elgin City Football Club, 7.30pm With The Black Isle Stompers.

HIGHLAND HOTCLUB @ Hootananny Gypsy Swing quartet from Inverness. 01463 233 651

THU 12 APRJazz/World

MORAY JAZZ CLUB @ Elgin City Football Club, 7.30pm Brian Keddie - Trombone, Mario Jannetta - Saxophone, Bill Jannetta - Guitar, Eddie Grant - Bass, Philip Stewart - Piano.

SUN 15 APRBL’AZZ @ Eden Court Maclean Room, 2.30pm Under the direction of Mr Pat C Strachan: ‘The Black Isle Stompers’ a five-piece band, playing a full range of jazz from ragtime, blues, dixie, swing and sometimes beyond. Tickets £8 each Eden Court Box Office or 01463 234234.Misc.

THU 19 APRJazz/World

MORAY JAZZ CLUB @ Elgin City FC, 7.30pm As Thu 12

THU 26 APRROOT MA TOOT BIG BAND @ Hootananny Swing band. 01463 233 651

CASTLE BLUES @ Castle Tavern, 8pm

MORAY JAZZ CLUB @ Elgin City FC, 7.30pm As Thu 12

FRI 27 APRTEA POSY @ The Greenhouse, Dingwall, 7.30pm With Highland Hot Club.

SAT 28 APRSHOOGLE(!) PRESENTS: THE HORNDOG BRASS BAND @ The Old Bridge Inn, Aviemore. Heavy heavy brass grooves with funk, ska and jazz influences, it’s what Shoogle(!) is aw aboot! www.horndogbrass.com.

WED 02 MAYTHE BLACK ISLE STOMPERS PLAY DIXIELAND @ Castle Tavern. Swing and Latin in the Castle Tavern.

ROCKSAT 31 MARRACHEL HARRINGTON @ Cromarty Old Brewery, 8.30pm Rachel Harrington grew up in a small town in Oregon with a deep Pentecostal upbringing, from families of Danish dairymen and Irish lumberjacks. As a child, her only exposure to music was gospel - that and her father’s secret Stax/Motown collection he’d amassed since his return from Vietnam. It’s a background that makes her more than just another purveyor of Americana, tracing a distinctive link between country and soul. She’s playing here with her all-female honky tonk band The Knock Outs. Tickets from 01381 600277 or [email protected].

COMPLETE STONE ROSES @ Ironworks, 7.30pm Even better than the real thing. Who needs the reformed version when this lot do the songs so well? HIGHLAND HOSPICE Fundraiser. £10. 0871 789 4173

MYSTIC SHOES @ Madhatters

SUN 01 APRBILLY MORRISON @ Market Bar

NETSOUNDS PRESENTS:ESPERI/I BUILD COLLAPABLE MOUNTAINS @ HootanannyandVLADIMIR/LITTLE MILL OF HAPPINESS @ Madhatters.

TUE 03 APRLITTLE RUMBA @ Market Bar

WED 04 APRFERGUS AND GREG @ Market Bar

FRI 06 APRDDW @ The RoomTHE SHIRE @ The Room

DEF CON ONE/THE 10:04S @ Madhatters.Rock/Country

THE GALIPAYGOS @ Market Bar.

SAT 07 APRAN APPOINTMENT WITH THE WATERBOYS @ Eden Court Empire, 8pm This is a Waterboys full career show which will also include some songs from the fantastic recent ‘An Appointment With Mr. Yates”. 01463 234 234Rock

JOE VITERBRO @ Madhatters.

DDW @ The Room

THIS IS ELVIS LIVE @ Smithton HotelBritains favourite Elvis Impersonator. Tickets £10, 01463 791999.

SUN 08 APRTHE LITTLE KICKS + CS BUCHAN @ The Old Bridge Inn, Aviemore, 9pm Energetically appealing indie with a host of pop hooks. www.thelittlekicks.co.uk.

MEGAN BLYTH EP LAUNCHsupport: BARRY MACKAY/IAIN MCLAUGHLIN 22

@ Hootananny Up and coming local singer songwriter. Get there early to see a support slot from the excellent Iain McLaughlin. Rock/Country

RED HOOK RAPIDS @ Market Bar

FRI 13 APRFRIGHTENED RABBIT @ The Loft, ForresAcoustic Show. Scott Hutchison, frontman of the fine Selkirk combo plays acoustic, stripped down versions of the band’s songs as part of the full line-up’s Highland foray. See ‘SPILL’ P17...

JONNY AND THE GIROS/HOLY GHOSTS @ Madhatters

BIRO @ The Room

SAT 14 APRTWIN ATLANTIC @ IronworksSee inset >>>

THE MYSTIC SHOES @ The Room

LEWIS HAMILTON @ Market BarThat F1 car’s gonna be awful noisy in that wee room - but hey, you can’t say it’s not entertainment.

EAT DR APE/RUSSIAN NINJAS @ Madhatters.

SUN 15 APRRock/Electronica

THE MOUSE THAT ATE THE CAT @ Madhatters. Glasgow electropop duo. No animals were harmed in the making of this band. Allegedly.

MON 16 APRRock

THE MARIONETTES @ Hootananny

WED 18 APRFRIGHTENED RABBIT @ The Old Bridge Inn, Aviemore. With a mix of acoustic shows and full band sets on the cards, the anthemic indie quintet are playing intimate venues - as low as 100 capacities - across their native land. Since releasing their debut album Sing the Greys in 2006, the band has gone from strength to strength, building a dedicated fanbase and selling out shows nationwide and stateside. Formed in Selkirk in ‘03 when Scott Hutchinson began playing solo shows under their curious FR moniker. Playing and recording all the instruments himself, he founded their trademark sound and soon brought like minded compadres on board. With a 4th album due soon this could be the year they finally go massive so don’t miss the chance to catch them in such intimate surroundings. See P17

THU 19 APR1930S/THE DEPORTEES @ Madhatters.

FRI 20 APRRANT @ The Room

NEW TOWN TRIPTYCH/THE OTHER PEOPLE @ Madhatters.

SAT 21 APREZRA @ The Room

FRIGHTENED RABBIT @ Strathpeffer Pavilion, 7.30pm Top Scottish indie rock band, in association

with DF Concerts, who also brought the Kaiser Chiefs to the Pavilion. Tickets at Ticketweb, Ticketweb’s 24-hour hotline 08444 771000, Ticketmaster and the Pavilion office on 01997 420124 (9 to 6 Mon to Fri). Tickets are £14 plus booking fees and any other card or online seller charges. Over 14s only - under 16s must be accompanied by an adult. NB: this will be a standing event. 01997 420124 see p17

DROPKICK @ Market Bar

OXBOW LAKE BAND @ Madhatters.

SUN 22 APRHAMISH ROBERTS @ Market Bar

MON 23 APRMILES KANE @ Ironworks See main feature

WED 25 APRADMIRAL FALLOW @ The Old Bridge Inn, Aviemore, 9pm A welcome return for pub favourites Admiral Fallow just before they go off and conquer the world!. admiralfallow.com.

THU 26 APRADMIRAL FALLOW @ IronworksImpressive young folksters. Warming down from their Old Bridge Inn show last night with a cosy night in the tiny setting of Ironworks...

FRI 27 APRTHE FUMES @ The Room

THE WORLD’S GREATEST MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE EVER STARRING BEN @ Ironworks, 7.30pm The acclaimed tribute show promises to provide the world’s closest experience to an original Jackson concert and recreates the iconic stages of Michael’s incredible career from as early as his Jackson 5 days to his worldwide sell-out arena tours. Careful you don’t use too much hairspray. www.michaeljacksonuk.com/. 0871 789 4173

CLASSIC CLAPTON @ Wick Assembly Rooms, 8.30pm A two-hour journey though the music of Eric Clapton including all of his hits: ‘Wonderful Tonight’, ‘I Shot The Sheriff’, ‘Lay Down Sally’, ‘Crossroads’ and ‘Tears in Heaven’. Ooh, that actually made me shudder. £14.

FOUND ON THE FLOOR, FILTHPACT & THE OBSCENITIES @ Flannagans Bar, Elgin, 8pmA Night of Punk, Metal. I’m glad Flanagan’s is there, aren’t you?

WOT’S NEXT @ Market Bar

SAT 28 APRDONNIE LIVINGSTONE @ Market Bar

SELECTIVE SERVICE @ Madhatters. Rock mixed with funk, blues and reggae from a Scottish act who are building quite a reputation and even played an instore gig at Liam Gallagher’s Pretty Green shop in Glasgow. Big things are brewing for them.

SUN 29 APRCHARLIES RANCH/NAKED RED @ Hootananny

SAT 05 MAY

BREW AT THE BOGMUSIC FESTIVAL @ Bogbain Farm Bogbain has teamed up with craft beer revolutionaries, BrewDog, for this brand new one day music and beer festival. With BBC Radio 1′s Ally McCrae as our hosts for the day, Brew at the Bog features the best in up and coming musical talent. Visit www.brewatthebog.com for more info and to buy tickets. 01463 772800 See P2 - lots more next month!Misc.

THE SOLID SILVER 60S SHOW 2012 @ Eden Court Empire, 5.15pm, 8.30pm Starring Peter Noone. Featuring From The USA Chris Montez and Brian Hyland.

REGULAR FOLK & ROCK NIGHTS: APRILANKOR LIGHT @ Coffee Affair Sat 31 MarROBIN ABBOT @ Market Bar Mon 02/09/16/23/30 AprilBILLY MORRISON @ Market Bar Tue 10/17/24 AprilROBIN AND BILLS @ Market Bar Thu 5/Wed 11/19/26 Apr

ROCK PICKS: TWIN ATLANTIC @ Ironworks Sat 14 AprilSam McTrusty and his noise-pop cohorts roll back into town - they pick up more followers each time they visit. Entirely proficient loud/quiet/loud quirky Scot-rock band with just the faintest whiff of boyband. Maybe they’ll be the next Biffy, maybe the next Deacon Blue - they use cello’s now, afterall...

PURPLE DIVIDE EP LAUNCH @ IG:LU, Fri 20 AprilUp and coming rock types play a special gig to launch their new ‘Trapped’ EP. Support from SCOTT REID. See p25. Numbers ltd - book place via website www.theIG.LU

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SPECIALSMalt Teasers

Expect lovers of a dram to be flocking here this month for the INVERNESS WHISKY FESTIVAL [1] based at BOGBAIN FARM on FRI 06 & SAT 07 APR. Over 20 distillers will be there including HIGHLAND PARK, TOMATIN, GLENGLASSAUGH, ABHAINN, GLENMORANGIE and many more, with free samples of unusual and rare whiskies that you might never get the chance to sample again. Spitoons are provided, though why anyone would even think about using them is beyond us. There’ll be masterclasses as well as live music, food, exhibition stalls, cocktail bar, and BBC Radio Scotland’s TOM MORTON [3] (himself an eloquent whisky fan) returning for a very special music show. He’ll be introducing a radical approach to whisky tasting along with songs poems and tales in his show ‘Lies, Dram Lies‘ and showing excerpts from his TV series ‘Spirit of Adventure’ and the sequel made twenty years later, ‘Journey’s Blend.’

And before the weekend even begins there’s a chance to partake in the inaugural Inverness Whisky Tour on the evening of FRI 06 APRIL where you will be guided around 6 infamous Inversnecky venues to try 6 infamous Scottish malt whiskies, along with a multitude of infamous Scottish musicians, before finishing up in Hootananny for a great night of live music and entertainment.

BRUCE MACGREGOR [4] will be your tour guide for the evening, which starts in the Castle Tavern, and you will then visit the weird and wonderful sights of Inverness like you’ve never seen them before. Was there really a cheese riot? Who was Granville? Why was there an explosion on Baron Taylor’s Street? Answers to all these and more are promised. And if you really want to indulge yourself there are luxury packages available including accommodation, food, clay-pigeon shooting, an optional round of golf at Castle Stuart and even a private whisky masterclass.

There’s also the presence of a 2012 Whisky Festival Ambassador in the form of Lochaber resident DR BROOKE MAGNANTI [2], better known as the author of the saucy Belle De Jour blog, on which the Billie Piper TV series was based. It was actually her entry in a whisky blog that first got her identity rumbled so, realising her love of a good dram, the festival organisers tweeted her to ask her to take part. She agreed and will be launching a limited edition booklet exclusive to the festival featuring the original blog article she wrote. It will also feature her own drawings of botanical flowers, together with a fantastic insight into why she wrote the blog, and what living in Scotland means to her.

For more details go to www.invernesswhiskyfestival.co.uk

CLUBSCHARITY MARKETS MUNICIPAL TALKS

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THU 29 MARMisc

WOMEN@WORK – ROSS SHIRE NETWORK MEETING @ Strathpeffer Community Centre. Speed reading with Kate Boyd. This is a free workshop, open to all women and lunch will be available for £3 per person. Please contact the Community Centre if you are planning to attend. 01997 421989 [email protected].

TALK ON BIRD MIGRATION @ Fraser Park Bowling Club, 7.30pm. By Mark Wynn. RSPB Highland Group.

FRI 30 MARHIGHLANDS ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY PUBLIC OBSERVING SESSION @ Observatory, Culloden Battlefield. Weather permitting - check www.spacegazer.com.

GLENN MUNRO: SIMPLY MUSIC @ Elgin Museum, 7.30pm. Elginmuseum.org.uk.

SAT 31 MARAnnual

OUTING TO LOCH CARRON & LOCH KISHORN @ Highland Council Car Park, 9am. RSPB Highland Group. Details on 01997 433283.Special Events

SPRING FUNDRAISER @ Grantown Playgroup, Heathfield Rd, Grantown. Daffodil Tea. Car boot sale, stalls, raffle, kids treasure hunt and face painting, refreshments available, 10am - 1pm, FREE entry.Misc

HANDMADE IN SCOTLAND SPRING CRAFT FAIR @ Lossiemouth High School. Free entry, free tea and coffee and free facepainting. Charity raffle for Ladybird group.

SUN 01 APRTO THE EDGE & BACK @ Whiteness Head. Enjoy an extensive walk to the end of this remote spit. We will be walking along by salt marsh and shingle shores looking for some of the amazing wildlife and stunning views to be experienced here. Meet at Hilton of Delnies Farm, off the B9092 Nairn to Ardersier road. John Orr 01463 710786.

MON 02 APRBAT WALK @ Falls Of Foyers. Come along for a short walk to find bats at the Falls of Foyers. We’ll be walking the paths looking for bats and using bat detectors to try and find them. We know there’s one type of bat there, but we’re trying to find others. The meeting place will be given out on booking. This event is free, but donations are most welcome. Please book a place with Katy Martin, Inverness Ranger 01463 710786.

TUE 03 APRCharity

BOAT OF GARTEN CHURCH GUILD FUNDRAISING SOUP AND SANDWICH LUNCH @ Boat Of Garten Community Hall, 12.30pm. Come along and enjoy a choice of soups and delicious sandwiches. Donations received will go towards various Churchwomen’s Guild supported projects Contact Mina Johnson on 01479 831502 for further details.

WED 04 APRHIMALAYAN PRIMULA @ Nairn Community Centre, 7.30pm. The Highland Rock Garden Club hosts an illustrated talk by Pam Eveleigh,

international Travelling Speaker and outstanding photographer from Calgary, Canada. 01320 366246. 01667 453476

THU 05 APRAnnual

TELFORD’S TALES @ Various Locations 3 locations along the Great Glen - a light-hearted event bringing the history of the Caledonian Canal to life. Lasts for 45 minutes 10am Banavie Loch Flight, near Fort William,12.30pm Fort Augustus Lock Flight and3pm at Muirtown Lock Flight, InvernessNo booking is required, but if you need more information please contact Stephen Wiseman on 01463 725561.

FRI 06 APRMisc

INVERNESS WHISKY FESTIVAL @ Bogbain Farm. Friday is the Whisky Tour - see main feat

DAWN BLACK GROUSE SAFARI RUNS EVERY FRI, SAT & SUN UNTIL 29 APR@ Bus Leaves Cannich Village Hall, 6am. Take a dawn safari trip through Corrimony reserve with RSPB staff and enjoy fantastic views of the local black grouse as the males strut their funky stuff to woo the females. This event is run in conjunction with the Famous Grouse and each adult participant will be given a complimentary miniature bottle of Black Grouse whisky and an invitation to a Saturday evening whisky tasting. After the safaris we will be visiting the Bog Cotton Cafe in Cannich, where you can choose from a breakfast menu which includes a full cooked Scottish breakfast, porridge, bacon roll, pancakes with maple syrup and more (yum!). We hope to get close up views of the black grouse, but it never hurts to have a little extra help, so remember to bring your binoculars (if you have them!). In order to cause as little disturbance to the grouse as possible, we have to stay in the minibus and keep noise to a minimum, therefore we advise that this trip is not suitable for young children, and any older children must be accompanied by an adult.

OUR PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE @ Birnie Village Hall Near Elgin, 7.30pm Andy Lawrence (ROE) Professor Lawrence looks at the scale of the Universe, its incredible violence and complexity, and examines how we feel as humans in the face of all of this.

BIRDS AS FLYING MACHINES @ Grant Arms Hotel, Grantown On Spey, 6pm. Paul Rogers presents a talk which looks at how birds are adapted to flight. The subject is covered in easy to understand terms and will hopefully open your eyes to some aspects of birds that you may not have considered before.

SAT 07 APRINVERNESS WHISKY FESTIVAL @ Bogbain Farm. See main feature

CADBURY EASTER EGG TRAIL @ Brodie Castle, Forres. Follow the trail, collect the clues, solve the puzzle and win a Cadbury Easter egg!There’ll be extra fun on Sunday and Monday with lots of giant outdoor games, face painters and more! £2 per trail. If you’d like to visit the castle, usual entry prices apply.

STRATHPEFFER FOOD & CRAFT MARKET @ Strathpeffer Community Centre. Come and browse our wonderful stalls, everything from fresh bread to preserves, cakes to beautifully made crafts. We also have a cafe selling tea and coffee for those wanting to stop off for a

rest or a chat with friends.

SUN 08 APRCADBURY EASTER EGG TRAIL @ Brodie Castle, Forres. As Sat 07 Apr

WEBBED FEET AND WATER @ Grants Arms Hotel Osprey Suite, 6pm. Paul Rogers talks about the lives and adaptations of swans, geese, ducks and their environments.

MON 09 APRMATTHEW FOX @ Universal Hall, Findhorn, 7.45pm. A rare chance to hear Matthew Fox, the celebrated theologian and activist, in an open-to-the-public evening (part of the Into Christ Consciousness conference. www.findhorn.org/intochristconsciousness).

CADBURY EASTER EGG TRAIL @ Brodie Castle, Forres. As Sat 07 Apr

FRI 13 APRAN AFRICAN JOURNEY @ Church Of Scotland Hall, Drumnadrochit, 7.30pm. ‘A journey of a lifetime’. Illustrated talk from Andrew Whittington-Davis about his journey across South Africa. From antelope wrestling to exploring the natural world beneath the ocean.

SAT 14 APRCharity

BRODIE CASTLE’S DAFFODIL TEA EVENT @ Brodie Castle. The garden team will lead guided walks in support of SG. In springtime the grounds are carpeted with the daffodils for which the castle is rightly famous. Bred by Ian Brodie, these daffodils are internationally significant. Some are found nowhere else in the world but the castle grounds! There is also a shrubbery garden with rhododendrons and a good tree collection, plus wildflowers.

SUN 15 APRCharity

BRODIE CASTLE’S DAFFODIL TEA EVENT @ Brodie Castle. As Sat 14 Apr

MON 16 APRPLANNING FOR MAJOR EMERGENCIES IN HIGHLAND @ Charleston Community Complex, 2pm. Inverness and Black Isle University of the Third Age (U3A) meeting.

THU 19 APRAnnual

INVERNESS CIVIC TRUST AGM @ Meeting Rooms Next To Glenmorrison Hotel, 7.30pm.

FRI 20 APRWORLD CLASS BIRD IMAGES @ Grant Arms Hotel, Grantown On Spey, 6pm. David Cromack presents the pick of the entries submitted for the International Wildbird Photographer competition organised by Bird Watching magazine during his tenure as Editor. It features work from top bird photographers around the globe. David will provide insight into why judges liked some images and disliked others.

SAT 21 APRAnnual

TAKING PART IN THE PAST @ Dingwall Academy. Archaeology for Communities in the Highlands (ARCH) is hosting a free family festival celebrating Highland community archaeology. There will also be several ‘get involved in archaeology’ sessions, including ‘so you want 28

to be an archaeologist?’ a practical guide on how to become a bone fide trowel bearer - and what the opportunities and pitfalls are when you do. There will also be the chance to try your hand at building a shelter entirely from natural materials; or to explore the rites and customs that are shown in mesolithic and viking burials, and, for those that are feeling energetic, a viking boat race. For something more relaxed Lizzie MacDougall will share the magic of Highland stories through story and image. Skilled craftspeople and heritage booksellers will also be selling their wares at the ‘viking market’. If you are interested in having a stall for the day (free for museum and heritage organisations, £10 for craftspeople) contact Caroline Vawdrey on [email protected] or leave a message on 01349 868230 www.archhighland.org.uk.

FOCUS ON AMPHIBIANS WORKSHOP @ Pond Near Inverness. Want to find out more about frogs, toads and newts? Well, come along to this free workshop with David O’Brien and Highland Council Rangers to learn what to look for, how to tell frogs and toads apart and how you can help them. Stephen Wiseman 01463 725561.

TUE 24 APRCharity

WHISKY TASTING EVENING @ Raigmore Hospital, Inverness, 7.30pm. TICKETS £12.50 TASTER, £5.00 PARTNERAVAILABLE FROM ELMA ON 01463 706302.

FRI 27 APRTHE TWO CUTHBERT GRANTS FROM STRATHSPEY - FUR TRADING AND FIGHTING IN THE CANADIAN NORTH WEST @ Elgin Museum, 7.30pm. A talk about fur trading and fighting in the Canadian north west by Dr Elizabeth Ritchie. £3/ 2.

SAT 28 APRAnnual

HIGHLAND ROCK GARDEN ANNUAL SPRING FLOWER SHOW @ Nairn Community Centre, 10.30am. Scottish Rock Garden National Show opens at Midday (approx..) 01320 366246. 01667 453476

MON 30 APRCAPERCAILLIE @ RSPB Loch Garten Osprey Centre , 7.30pm. An illustrated talk by Tim Poole. The capercaillie is one of Scotland’s most iconic birds but has suffered population declines in its recent hisitory. The Cairngorms is now the most important area in Scotland for capercaillie, containing up to 75% of the total Scottish population. Come and find out what is being done to help this magnificent bird. £4.50.

SAT 05 MAYCharity

DINGWALL MODEL FAIR @ The Royal British Legion, Dingwall. Including at least 3 model railway layouts it will raise money for MFR Cash for Kids and Macmillan cancer relief.

NEW CHARACTER AROUND TOWN...: HIGHLAND HOSPICE’S NEW MASCOT - BOBBY THE BEE!

As part of Highland Hospice’s 25th Anniversary celebrations, the charity has enlisted a new recruit to its fundraising team.

BOBBY THE BEE will be present at several of the Hospice’s fundraising events and cheque presentations and is hoping to meet as many Hospice supporters as possible during the busy spring and summer ahead.

Bobby is great with children and adults alike and is never shy of being photographed. He was a natural choice of mascot for the Hospice because of the bee’s close association with the Hospice’s sunflower emblem.

Joining Bobby later in spring will be hundreds of mini Bobbys who will feature on the Hospice’s new look collecting cans. These will replace the current Hospice hippos. Please be sure to pop your pennies into them, and do stop to say hello to Bobby when you see him out and about!

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APRILSun0114.00 TheHunger Games17.00 TheHunger Games17.30 Young Adult19.45 TheHunger Games20.00 RedDog

Mon0214.00 TheHunger Games14.30 TheMuppets17.15 TheHunger Games18.15 RedDog19.45 TheHunger Games20.15 Young Adult

Tue0311.30 RedDog14.00 TheHunger Games14.30 TheMuppets17.00 TheMuppets19.15 TheHunger Games19.30 The Squid And TheWhale

Wed0411.00 TheMuppets11.30 TheHunger Games

Dream&Scream14.00 Young Adult17.00 TheHunger Games17.30 TheMuppets19.15 TheHunger Games19.45 RedDog

Thu0511.30 Young Adult

Dream&Scream13.30 TheHunger Games14.00 RedDog17.00 TheHunger Games18.00 RedDog19.45 TheHunger Games20.00 Young Adult

Fri 0614.00 TheMuppets18.00 The Artist18.15 The Raven20.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.30 Michael

Sat 0711.30 TheMuppets14.00 TheMuppets Subtitled17.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel17.45 Michael19.45 The Raven20.15 The Artist22.00 RestlessNatives

Sun0811.30 TheMuppets13.30 The Raven14.00 TheMuppets17.00 The Artist17.15 Michael19.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.45 Romantics Anonymous

Mon0911.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel

FriendsCoffeeMorning14.00 TheMuppets18.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.15 Michael20.15 The Raven20.30 The Artist

Tue1011.00 TheMuppets11.30 The Raven14.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel17.00 TheMuppets19.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.45 The Artist

Wed1111.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel14.00 TheMuppets18.00 The Artist18.15 The Raven20.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel

Subtitled20.30 The Artist

Thu1211.30 The Artist14.00 TheMuppets14.15 The Raven18.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.15 Romantics Anonymous20.15 The Artist20.30 Salmon Fishing In The Yemen

FriendsPreviewScreening

Fri 1318.00 Rampart18.15 The Adopted20.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.30 Black Gold

Sat 1411.30 Journey 2

– TheMysterious Island13.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel14.00 Journey 2

– TheMysterious Island17.30 Black Gold17.45 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.15 Rampart20.30 The Adopted

Sun1511.30 Journey 2

– TheMysterious Island13.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel14.00 The Adopted16.00 Journey 2 – TheMysterious

Island Subtitled17.00 Rampart19.00 Black Gold19.30 15–18 Years Later

Mon1618.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.15 The Adopted20.30 The Immature20.45 Rampart

Tue1711.30 Black Gold19.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.45 Away FromHer

Wed1811.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.15 Black Gold19.45 The Adopted

Thu1914.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.00 20 Cigarettes18.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.30 April Adventure Films20.45 Black Gold

Fri 2018.00 WeBought A Zoo18.15 The Iron Lady20.30 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia20.45 Trishna

Sat 2114.00 TheNight Of The Iguana17.15 The Iron Lady17.30 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia19.45 Trishna20.30 WeBought A Zoo22.00 Highlander

Sun2213.30 WeBought A Zoo14.00 The Iron Lady16.45 The Jewel17.00 Trishna19.15 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia19.30 The Iron Lady

Mon2318.00 WeBought A Zoo Subtitled19.45 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia20.30 Trishna

Tue2418.00 Trishna20.15 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia

Wed2519.30 Trishna19.45 WeBought A Zoo

Thu2611.00 WeBought A Zoo

Dream&Scream11.30 The Iron Lady14.00 WeBought A Zoo18.00 Trishna18.15 SummerGames20.15 TeamAmerica Staff Pick20.30 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia

Fri 2718.00 In Darkness18.15 Bel Ami20.30 Into The Abyss20.45 TheKidWith ABike

Sat 2814.00 Into The Abyss18.00 TheKidWith ABike18.15 The Vow20.00 In Darkness20.30 Bel Ami

Sun2913.30 The Vow14.00 TheKidWith ABike17.00 In Darkness17.15 Bel Ami19.45 Into The Abyss20.00 The Vow

Mon3018.00 TheKidWith ABike18.15 Into The Abyss20.00 In Darkness20.30 Bel Ami

EdenCourt, BishopsRoad, Inverness IV3 5SA Box Office 01463 234 234 Administration 01463 239 841

SUPPORTED BY

Eden Court Highlands (trading as Eden Court) is a company registered in Scotland (company number SC63216) and a charity registeredwith the Office of the Scottish Charity Regulator (registered number SCO08237)

cinema@01463 234 234 www.eden-court.co.uk

TICKET PRICES

All Tickets pre 5.00pm £6.00

Adults (over 18) £7.00 (Fri &Sat £7.50)

Adult Concession £6.50 (Fri &Sat £7.00)

Under 18’s & Students £5.00 at all times

Eden Court Friends £1.00 off

FRIENDSSCREENINGS exclusive screenings for EdenCourt Friends.FriendsCoffeeMorning–MON0911.30TheBest ExoticMarigoldHotel (12A)Film starts 11.30am–Coffee served from10.30am

FriendsPreviewScreening–THU1220.3020.30SalmonFishing InTheYemen (15A tbc)Film starts 20.30pm–Coffee served from19.30pm

DREAMANDSCREAMBring your baby to one of our DreamAnd Scream screenings,specially for parents and carers of new babies aged 0–12months. Look out for‘Dream&Scream’ on individual screenings

AUDIODESCRIBED&SUBTITLEDFILMS Eden Court offers a range of accessible filmscreenings. Look out for the (AD) for Audio Described, and (S) for subtitled screenings.

Welcome to theRobertsonScreens.At Robertsonwe’ve always been a keen supporterof the arts: from brass bands to theatre shows tomusic festivals and now cinema.We helpedto redevelop Eden Court andwe’re proud that we can continue to work in partnership withthem by sponsoring the cinemas.We hope you enjoy your film. robertson.co.ukRobertson– Investing –Building –Caring

RAMPART (15)DirectorOrenMoverman I StarringWoodyHarrelson, BenFoster, SteveBuscemi, SigourneyWeaver

USA I 2011 I 108mins I rampartmovie.com

WoodyHarrelson gives a career best performance as ‘90s LAPDOfficer DaveBrown in thistense study of corruption. Brown’s an old-school cop dedicated to doing “the people’s dirtywork” and asserting his own code of justice. But when Internal Affairs begin to investigate thedepartment-wide corruption of the Rampart Precint, he finds himself in a downward spiral ashis past sins, and his refusal to change his ways, seal his fate. Co-written by James Ellroy.

FRI 13 –MON16APR

IN DARKNESS (15)DirectorAgnieszkaHolland I StarringRobertWieckiewicz, BennoFürman

Poland/Germany/Canada I 2011 I 143mins (Polish, German and Yiddishwith subtitles)

sonyclassics.com/indarkness

Sewerworker and petty thief, Leopold, risks his own life trying to save a dozen Jewishrefugees from inevitable death by hiding them for fourteenmonths in the labyrinth ofsewers underneath theNazi occupied city of Lvov. Based on the incredible true story ofLeopold Socha.Nominated for this year’sBest ForeignLanguageFilmOscar.

FRI 27 APR – THU 03MAY

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL (12A)Director JohnMadden I StarringBillNighy,Maggie Smith, TomWilkinson, Judi Dench

UK I 2011 I 123mins I thebestexoticmarigoldhotel.co.uk

An unconventional group of British retirees relocate to a seemingly luxurious life in India buton arrival they discover that the reality is somewhat less glamorous than they imagined. AGreat British comedy featuring a top quality ensemble cast includingDames Judi Dench andMaggie Smith alongside Bill Nighy and TomWilkinson.

FRI 06 – THU 19APR

YOUNG ADULT (15)Director JasonReitman I StarringCharlize Theron, PatrickWilson, PattonOswalt

USA I 2011 I 93mins I youngadultmovie.com

Hell-bent on reclaiming her high school sweetheart recently divorced, alcoholic teen fictionwriterMavis Gary returns to her hometown to relive her glory days. But when his inconve-niently happymarriage gets in theway of her plans, she unwittingly strikes up a friendshipwith a former classmatewho hasn’t quite gotten over high-school yet either. A smart, funnyanti-rom-com from thewriter/ director of Juno.

SUN01 – THU 05APR

April

Eden Court Apr 2012 latest:EDEN COURT FILM jan 13/3/12 15:58 Page 1

THEHUNGERGAMES (12A)thehungergamesmovie.comDirectorGaryRossStarring Jennifer Lawrence, LiamHemsworth

USA I 2012 I 142minsIn the ruins of what was onceNorth America, theHunger Games is a nationally televised event inwhich 24 “Tributes”must fight with one anotheruntil only one survivor remains.

SUN01 – THU 05APR

REDDOG (PG)reddogmovie.comDirectorKriv Stenders

Starring JoshLucas, Rachel Taylor, LukeFord

Australia I 2011 I 92minsWinnerof theAudienceAwardat the2011 InvernessFilmFestival.Based on an incredible true story andthe novella by Louis deBernières. The old Australianlegend of theRedDogwhounited a disparate localcommunitywhile roaming theAustralian outback isone of the finest heartwarmers in years. It willmakeyou laugh and it willmake you cry.

MON01 – THU 05APR

THEMUPPETS (U)disney.co.uk/muppetsDirector JamesBobinStarringAmyAdams, JasonSegal,Kermit,MissPiggyUSA I 2011 I 109minsWith theMuppet Theatre under threat of closure,Kermit re-unites the old gang to stage theGreatestMuppet TelethonEver and raise the $10millionneeded to save their beloved theatre.

MON02 – THU 12APR

THESQUIDANDTHEWHALE (15)DirectorNoahBaumbachStarring Jeff Daniels, LauraLinney

USA I 2005 I 80minsBased on the true childhood experiences ofNoahBaumbach and his brother, TheSquid and theWhaletells the touching story of two young boys dealingwith their parents’ divorce inBrooklyn in the 1980s.This screeningwill bepresentedby the InvernessFilmFans.

TUE 03 APR

MICHAEL (18)michaelfilm.com/enDirectorMarkusSchleinzer

Starring Michael Fuith, DavidRauchenberger

Austria I 2011 I 96mins I Germanwith subtitlesA deceptivelymeasured and chilling story aboutMichael, a seemingly normal salesman leading aquiet, suburban life. ButMichael is keeping a youngboy locked in a reinforced cell beneath his bungalow.This film is a captivating reminder of the day-to-daybanality of evil.

FRI 06 –MON09APR

TRISHNA (15)DirectorMichaelWinterbottom

Starring FreidaPinto, RizAhmed

UK I 2011 I 113minsIn this unique spin on Thomas Hardy’s Tess ofthe D’Urbervilles set against a contemporaryIndian backdrop, Frieda Pinto stars as Trishna,a young woman seduced by the wealthy son ofa property developer. From one of Britain’s mostprolific filmmakers Michael Winterbottom,director of AMighty Heart.


WEBOUGHTA ZOO (PG)weboughtazoo.com

DirectorCameronCroweStarring MattDamon, Scarlett Johansson

USA I 2011 I 123mins

Matt Damon stars in this inspiring true story,as a newly single dad who buys land inSouthern California to give his family amuchneeded fresh start. Their perfect new homecomes with one unique bonus feature…it’s very own zoo. With no experience, limitedtime and a shoestring budget, he and hischildren attempt to bring the zoo back to it’sonce glorious state.


THENIGHTOFTHE IGUANA (12)Director JohnHustonStarringRichardBurton, AvaGardnerDeborahKerrUSA I 1964 I 117minsBased on the 1961 play by TennesseWilliams,The Night of the Iguana, stars Richard Burton asRev. Shannon, an alcoholic defrockedministerwho scratches a living as a south-of-the-bordertour guide.

Therewill be a 10minute documentary aboutScottish Ballet’s interpretation of TennesseeWilliams’AStreetcarNamesDesire screenedprior to the film.

SAT 21 APR

INTO THEABYSS –A TALE OF DEATH,A TALE OF LIFE (12A)DirectorWernerHerzogStarringWernerHerzogGermany/Canada I 2011 I 107minsIn his fascinating exploration of a triple homicidecase in Conroe, Texas,master filmmakerWernerHerzog probes the humanpsyche to explorewhypeople kill – andwhy a state kills. As he's so oftendone before, Herzog's investigation unveils layersof humanity,making an enlightening trip out ofominous territory.


ITALIAN FILM FESTIVALitalianfilmfestival.org.ukTHE JEWEL IL GIOIELLINO (15+)DirectorAndreaMolaioliStarring Toni Servillo, RemoGirone, SarahFelberbaum

Italy/France I 2011 I 110mins I Italianwith subtitlesSUN22APR

18 YEARS LATERDICIOTTOANNI DOPO (15+)DirectorEdoardoLeoStarringEdoardoLeo,MarcoBonini

Italy I 2010 I 100mins I Italianwith subtitlesSUN15APR

SUMMERGAMESGIOCHI D'ESTATE (12+)DirectorRolandoCollaStarringArmandoCondolucci, FiorellaCampanella

Switzerland I 2011 I 106mins I Italianwith subtitlesSupported by the cultural services department of theEmbassy of Switzerland.THU 26APR

20 CIGARETTES20 SIGARETTE (15+)DirectorAurelianoAmadeiStarringCarolinaCrescentini, VinicioMarchioni

Italy I 2010 I 94mins I Italianwith subtitlesTHU 19APR

THE IMMATURE IMMATURI (15+)DirectorPaoloGenoveseStarringAmbraAngiolini, RaoulBova

Italy I 2011 I 108mins I Italianwith subtitlesMON16APRPlease note that the certificates given are from the ItalianFilmFestival, and are not BBFC certificates.

LATENIGHT SCOTTISH CLASSICS

RESTLESSNATIVES (PG)DirectorMichaelHoffmanStarring Vincent Friell, JoeMullaney, Teri LallyUK I 1985 I 89mins

SAT 07 APR

HIGHLANDER (15)DirectorRussellMulcahyStarring ChristopherLambert, SeanConnery

USA/UK I 1986 I 116mins

SAT 21 APRIL

Staff PickTEAMAMERICA:WORLD POLICE (15)Director TreyParkerVoices TreyParker,Matt Stone,KristenMillerUSA/Germany I 2004 I 97minsSensible systemsmanager by day, fun family-man bynight, PaulMunro’s cheeky side never lies far behindhis crisp tie – thismonth he’s chosen TeamAmerica;“this film is Spitting Imagemeets Thunderbirds, andnot for the faint of heart!”

THU 26APR

THEARTIST (PG)weinsteinco.com/sites/the-artistDirectorMichelHazanaviciusStarring JeanDujardin, BereniceBejo

France/Belgium I 2011 I 100minsBack by popular demand,Michel Hazanavicius’breathtaking love letter to the halcyon days ofTinseltown topsmost critics top films of 2011 lists.Winner of 5AcademyAwards, includingBest Picture.


THE RAVEN (15)theravenmovie.comDirector JamesMcTeigueStarring JohnCusack, LukeEvans, AliceEve

USA/Hungary/Spain I 2012 I 111minsA fictionalised story of Edgar AllanPoe’s last days,when a serial killermimics the horrors in theauthor’s stories. Edgar joinsDetective Emmett Fieldsin a deadly gameof cat andmousewith themurdereras they attempt to solve the clues he leaves behind,before he gets the chance to kill again.


ROMANTICS ANONYMOUSLES EMOTIFS ANONYMES (12A)Director Jean-PierreAmerisStarringBenoit Poelvoorde, IsabelleCarreFrance/Belgium I 2010 I 77minsFrenchwith subtitlesJean-René runs a chocolate company, but histerminal timidness is causing it to fail. In need of achange, he hires the endearing yet equally shyAngélique. Sharing a passion for all things sugary andsweet, a charming romance ensues as they both facetheir fears and their feelings!

SUN08&THU12APR

THEADOPTEDLES ADOPTÉS (15)DirectorMélanie Laurent

StarringMarieDenarnaud,DenisMenochetFrance I 2011 I 99mins I Frenchwith subtitlesIngloriousBasterdsMélanie Laurent directs andstars in this heart-felt family drama. SistersMarineandLisa spend the bulk of their time together, butwhennew love interest Alex enters intoMarie’s lifehe drives an emotionalwedge between the girlsthat threatens their family structure.

FRI 13 –WED18APR

JOURNEY 2 – THEMYSTERIOUS ISLAND (PG)themysteriousisland.comDirectorBradPeytonStarring Dwayne Johnson,Michael Caine

USA I 2012 I 94minsAn exciting follow-up to theworldwide hit Journey totheCentre of theEarth. The new journey beginswhenyoung adventurer Sean receives a coded distresssignal fromamysterious islandwhere no islandshould exist – a place of strange life forms,mountains of gold, deadly volcanoes, andmore thanone astonishing secret.

SAT 14&SUN15APR

BLACKGOLD (12A)blackgold-themovie.comDirector Jean JacquesAnnaudStarring TaharRahim,AntonioBanderas

France/Italy/Qatar I 2011 I 130minsThe uneasy peace that exists between emirsNesib and Amar relies on the agreement thatneither can claim the no-man’s land calledThe YellowBelt. But when a Texanman informsthem that The YellowBelt is rich in oil a scrambleto exploit the riches beneath the forbidden zonebegins.


AWAY FROMHER (12A)Director SarahPolleyStarring Julie Christie,MichaelMurphyCanada/UK/USA I 2006 I 109minsAfter over forty happilymarried years, soulmatesFiona andGrantmust learn how to livewith Fiona’sAlzheimer’s. Christie is brilliant in her Oscar-nominated performance as the steely but brittleFiona, awomanwho knowshermind, and yet in theend cannot hold onto it.This screeningwill bepresentedby the InvernessFilmFans.

TUE 17 APR

THE IRON LADY (12A)theironladymovie.co.ukDirectorPhyllida LloydStarringMeryl Streep, JimBroadbentUK I 2011 I 104minsA second chance to seeMeryl Streep’s Oscar-winningperformance asMargaret Thatcher in The IronLady.This intimate and unusual biopic examines thedifficulties and consequences of breaking into amale-dominated political world. Also starring JimBroadbent andRichard E. Grant.

FRI 20 – SUN22&THU26APR

PROGRAMMER’SCHOICEONCEUPONA TIMEIN ANATOLIABIR ZAMANLARANADOLU'DA (15)nbcfilm.com/anatolia

DirectorNuriBilgeCeylanStarringMuhammetUzuner, YilmazErdogan

Turkey/Bosnia andHerzegovina I 2011 I 157mins

Turkishwith subtitlesNothing iswhat it seems in this thriller set inthe darkAnatolian countryside. The police,the suspect and prosecutor are all searchingfor a brutallymurdered corpse, only the suspectcan’t rememberwhere he buried it. As the nightdraws on the troubling secrets and hypocrisiesof all involved are revealed.


BEL AMI (15)belamifilm.com

DirectorDeclanDonnellan,NickOrmerod

StarringRobert Pattinson, ChristinaRicciUmaThurman,Kristin Scott Thomas

UK/France/Italy I 2012 I 102mins

In 1890s Paris, GeorgeDuroy, a young penilessex-soldier seeks fortune and status. Discovering thatpower lies with the city’smost influential andwealthywomen, he uses his wits and powers of seduction torise frompoverty to wealth. Adapted fromGuy deMaupassant’s novel of the same name.


THE KIDWITHABIKELE GAMINAUVELO (12A)legaminauvelo-lefilm.comDirector Jean-PierreDardenne, LucDardenneStarring ThomasDoret, CécileDeFranceBelgium/France/Italy I 2011 I 87minsFrenchwith subtitlesAbandoned 12 year old Cyril is full of rage and has onlyone plan: to find the fatherwho left him in a children’shome. By chance hemeets a kind hairdresserwhotakes himunder herwing, and offers the love he sodesperately needs to calmhis rage. The latest filmfrom several times Canneswinners Jean-Pierre andLucDardenne.


THEVOW (12A)thevow-movie.comDirectorMichael SucsyStarringRachelMcAdams, ChanningTatumUSA/Brazil/France/Australia/UK I 2012 I 103minsAfter a car accident leavesPaigewith severememoryloss, her husbandLeo endeavours towin her heart for asecond time. Based on a true story, this TheNotebookstyle tear-jerker showshowcruel, and of course, howwonderful love can be.

SAT 28&SUN29APR

FRIENDSPREVIEWSCREENINGSALMON FISHINGIN THE YEMEN (12A tbc)fishingintheyemen.com

Director LasseHalströmVoicesEwanMcGregor, Kristin Scott Thomas

UK I 2011 I 112minsAnexclusive chance forEdenCourtFriends to seethis filmoneweek before it’s national releasedate.A fisheries expert is approached by a consultant to helprealize a visionary sheikh’s unusual and seeminglyimpossible dream– to bring the sport of fly-fishing tothe desert. Inspirational comedy from the director ofChocolat.

THU 12APR

APRIL ADVENTURE FILMS (12A tbc)

AnAdventure Filmwill be screened at 20.30.Please checkwebsite for details of the film.

THU 19APR


APRILSun0114.00 TheHunger Games17.00 TheHunger Games17.30 Young Adult19.45 TheHunger Games20.00 RedDog

Mon0214.00 TheHunger Games14.30 TheMuppets17.15 TheHunger Games18.15 RedDog19.45 TheHunger Games20.15 Young Adult

Tue0311.30 RedDog14.00 TheHunger Games14.30 TheMuppets17.00 TheMuppets19.15 TheHunger Games19.30 The Squid And TheWhale

Wed0411.00 TheMuppets11.30 TheHunger Games

Dream&Scream14.00 Young Adult17.00 TheHunger Games17.30 TheMuppets19.15 TheHunger Games19.45 RedDog

Thu0511.30 Young Adult

Dream&Scream13.30 TheHunger Games14.00 RedDog17.00 TheHunger Games18.00 RedDog19.45 TheHunger Games20.00 Young Adult

Fri 0614.00 TheMuppets18.00 The Artist18.15 The Raven20.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.30 Michael

Sat 0711.30 TheMuppets14.00 TheMuppets Subtitled17.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel17.45 Michael19.45 The Raven20.15 The Artist22.00 RestlessNatives

Sun0811.30 TheMuppets13.30 The Raven14.00 TheMuppets17.00 The Artist17.15 Michael19.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.45 Romantics Anonymous

Mon0911.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel

FriendsCoffeeMorning14.00 TheMuppets18.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.15 Michael20.15 The Raven20.30 The Artist

Tue1011.00 TheMuppets11.30 The Raven14.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel17.00 TheMuppets19.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.45 The Artist

Wed1111.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel14.00 TheMuppets18.00 The Artist18.15 The Raven20.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel

Subtitled20.30 The Artist

Thu1211.30 The Artist14.00 TheMuppets14.15 The Raven18.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.15 Romantics Anonymous20.15 The Artist20.30 Salmon Fishing In The Yemen

FriendsPreviewScreening

Fri 1318.00 Rampart18.15 The Adopted20.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.30 Black Gold

Sat 1411.30 Journey 2

– TheMysterious Island13.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel14.00 Journey 2

– TheMysterious Island17.30 Black Gold17.45 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.15 Rampart20.30 The Adopted

Sun1511.30 Journey 2

– TheMysterious Island13.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel14.00 The Adopted16.00 Journey 2 – TheMysterious

Island Subtitled17.00 Rampart19.00 Black Gold19.30 15–18 Years Later

Mon1618.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.15 The Adopted20.30 The Immature20.45 Rampart

Tue1711.30 Black Gold19.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.45 Away FromHer

Wed1811.30 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel19.15 Black Gold19.45 The Adopted

Thu1914.00 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel18.00 20 Cigarettes18.15 TheBest ExoticMarigold Hotel20.30 April Adventure Films20.45 Black Gold

Fri 2018.00 WeBought A Zoo18.15 The Iron Lady20.30 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia20.45 Trishna

Sat 2114.00 TheNight Of The Iguana17.15 The Iron Lady17.30 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia19.45 Trishna20.30 WeBought A Zoo22.00 Highlander

Sun2213.30 WeBought A Zoo14.00 The Iron Lady16.45 The Jewel17.00 Trishna19.15 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia19.30 The Iron Lady

Mon2318.00 WeBought A Zoo Subtitled19.45 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia20.30 Trishna

Tue2418.00 Trishna20.15 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia

Wed2519.30 Trishna19.45 WeBought A Zoo

Thu2611.00 WeBought A Zoo

Dream&Scream11.30 The Iron Lady14.00 WeBought A Zoo18.00 Trishna18.15 SummerGames20.15 TeamAmerica Staff Pick20.30 OnceUpon A Time In Anatolia

Fri 2718.00 In Darkness18.15 Bel Ami20.30 Into The Abyss20.45 TheKidWith ABike

Sat 2814.00 Into The Abyss18.00 TheKidWith ABike18.15 The Vow20.00 In Darkness20.30 Bel Ami

Sun2913.30 The Vow14.00 TheKidWith ABike17.00 In Darkness17.15 Bel Ami19.45 Into The Abyss20.00 The Vow

Mon3018.00 TheKidWith ABike18.15 Into The Abyss20.00 In Darkness20.30 Bel Ami

EdenCourt, BishopsRoad, Inverness IV3 5SA Box Office 01463 234 234 Administration 01463 239 841

SUPPORTED BY

Eden Court Highlands (trading as Eden Court) is a company registered in Scotland (company number SC63216) and a charity registeredwith the Office of the Scottish Charity Regulator (registered number SCO08237)

cinema@01463 234 234 www.eden-court.co.uk

TICKET PRICES

All Tickets pre 5.00pm £6.00

Adults (over 18) £7.00 (Fri &Sat £7.50)

Adult Concession £6.50 (Fri &Sat £7.00)

Under 18’s & Students £5.00 at all times

Eden Court Friends £1.00 off

FRIENDSSCREENINGS exclusive screenings for EdenCourt Friends.FriendsCoffeeMorning–MON0911.30TheBest ExoticMarigoldHotel (12A)Film starts 11.30am–Coffee served from10.30am

FriendsPreviewScreening–THU1220.3020.30SalmonFishing InTheYemen (15A tbc)Film starts 20.30pm–Coffee served from19.30pm

DREAMANDSCREAMBring your baby to one of our DreamAnd Scream screenings,specially for parents and carers of new babies aged 0–12months. Look out for‘Dream&Scream’ on individual screenings

AUDIODESCRIBED&SUBTITLEDFILMS Eden Court offers a range of accessible filmscreenings. Look out for the (AD) for Audio Described, and (S) for subtitled screenings.

Welcome to theRobertsonScreens.At Robertsonwe’ve always been a keen supporterof the arts: from brass bands to theatre shows tomusic festivals and now cinema.We helpedto redevelop Eden Court andwe’re proud that we can continue to work in partnership withthem by sponsoring the cinemas.We hope you enjoy your film. robertson.co.ukRobertson– Investing –Building –Caring

RAMPART (15)DirectorOrenMoverman I StarringWoodyHarrelson, BenFoster, SteveBuscemi, SigourneyWeaver

USA I 2011 I 108mins I rampartmovie.com

WoodyHarrelson gives a career best performance as ‘90s LAPDOfficer DaveBrown in thistense study of corruption. Brown’s an old-school cop dedicated to doing “the people’s dirtywork” and asserting his own code of justice. But when Internal Affairs begin to investigate thedepartment-wide corruption of the Rampart Precint, he finds himself in a downward spiral ashis past sins, and his refusal to change his ways, seal his fate. Co-written by James Ellroy.

FRI 13 –MON16APR

IN DARKNESS (15)DirectorAgnieszkaHolland I StarringRobertWieckiewicz, BennoFürman

Poland/Germany/Canada I 2011 I 143mins (Polish, German and Yiddishwith subtitles)

sonyclassics.com/indarkness

Sewerworker and petty thief, Leopold, risks his own life trying to save a dozen Jewishrefugees from inevitable death by hiding them for fourteenmonths in the labyrinth ofsewers underneath theNazi occupied city of Lvov. Based on the incredible true story ofLeopold Socha.Nominated for this year’sBest ForeignLanguageFilmOscar.


THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL (12A)Director JohnMadden I StarringBillNighy,MaggieSmith, TomWilkinson, Judi Dench

UK I 2011 I 123mins I thebestexoticmarigoldhotel.co.uk

An unconventional group of British retirees relocate to a seemingly luxurious life in India buton arrival they discover that the reality is somewhat less glamorous than they imagined. AGreat British comedy featuring a top quality ensemble cast includingDames Judi Dench andMaggie Smith alongside Bill Nighy and TomWilkinson.


YOUNG ADULT (15)Director JasonReitman I StarringCharlize Theron, PatrickWilson, PattonOswalt

USA I 2011 I 93mins I youngadultmovie.com

Hell-bent on reclaiming her high school sweetheart recently divorced, alcoholic teen fictionwriterMavis Gary returns to her hometown to relive her glory days. But when his inconve-niently happymarriage gets in theway of her plans, she unwittingly strikes up a friendshipwith a former classmatewho hasn’t quite gotten over high-school yet either. A smart, funnyanti-rom-com from thewriter/ director of Juno.

SUN01 – THU 05APR

April


36

SPORTAnd… Breathe.

BALLATHLETIC COMBAT EXTREME RACING

1 2 3

Plenty of opportunities this month to get active just like you promised yourself when you woke up with a hangover after Hogmanay. And, importantly you get to do it all for a good cause, which is as good a motivation as any.

Closest to home is the BLACK ISLE CYCLE CHALLENGE [1] (SAT 28 APR) raising money for the Highland Hospice. Beginning and finishing at the Resolis Memorial Hall on the Black Isle, there’s a choice of four routes: the 6 Mile Family Trail, 15 Mile Mini Challenge, 20 Mile Road Challenge or, for the really committed, the on and off road 26 Mile Marathon Challenge. Anyone can take part so challenge your mates and colleagues or make it a day out for the family. Once you return from your cycle challenge you can recuperate by digging into the refreshments, cakes and BBQ provided. For more details and to register go to www.highlandhospice.org/bicc

Apparently there’s a whopping great national park round here called the Cairngorms or some such and it’s the focus of a whole heap of events in the forthcoming month, kicking off with one of the last chances of the year to take in the slopes at the VANS DAWN OF THE SHRED [2] (CAIRNGORM MOUNTAIN, SAT 07 APR). Now in its fifth year it’s one of the highlights of the snowboarding calendar attracting an impressive roster of competitors after the £1000 purse and host of other prizes. Plus, of course the legendary partying after the sun goes down. Check out highlights of last year’s event at http://tinyurl.com/7heghqh

If you’d prefer to spend your time in the area running rather than throwing 360s, you’ll be well served by THE GLENLIVET 10K ROAD RACE [3] (GLENLIVET DISTILLERY, SUN 15 APR) - passing through some of the most stunningly beautiful landscape in the world following quiet country lanes that meander around the legendary River Livet.

If you’re in the area and have got the taste for fresh air and fun, you might want to make a visit to THE BALLATER BIKE FESTIVAL (CYCLEHIGHLANDS, BALLATER, SAT 21/SUN 22 APR) which attracts the world’s top bike manufacturers for a weekend of testing, guided rides and more. The weekend includes an all day BBQ and free physio tent on Saturday with an evening slide show hosted by some big names from the world of mountain biking. Sunday features guided rides out to some of Ballater’s classic trails.

TUE 27 MARTeam

INVERNESS VOLLEYBALL CLUB @ Hilton Community Centre, Oldtown Road.. EVERY TUESDAY during school term time. Mixed volleyball for anyone aged over 16. All welcome.

WED 28 MARAthletics

LGBT RUNNING WITH JOG SCOTLAND @ Covered Ramp Of Inverness Leisure, 6.30pm.

SAT 31 MAROutdoor/Wintersports

SCOTTISH FREESTYLE CHAMPIONSHIPS @ Cairngorm Mountain. Cairngormmountain.co.uk.Team/Football

FOOTBALL: ROSS CO V RAITH ROVERS ELGIN V STRANRAERCOVE RANGERS V CLACHNACUDDIN FORMARTINE UTD V BUCKIE THFORRES MECH. V BRORA RANGERSHUNTLY V DEVERONVALE INVERURIE LOCO WORKS V WICK ACADEMYKEITH V FORT WILLIAMLOSSIEMOUTH V NAIRN COROTHES V FRASERBURGHSTRATHSPEY THISTLE V TURRIFF UTD

SUN 01 APRAthletics

INVERNESS CT V HIBERNIAN

TUE 03 APRTeam

INVERNESS VOLLEYBALL CLUB see 27 Mar

SAT 07 APROutdoor/Wintersports

VANS DAWN OF THE SHRED @ Cairngorm Mountain. Cairngormmountain.co.uk see featureTeam/Football

FOOTBALL: ALLOA V ELGINST JOHNSTONE V INVERNESS CT LIVINGSTON V ROSS COUNTY

TUE 10 APRTeam


WED 11 APRTeam/Football

FOOTBALL: AYR V ROSS COUNTY

SAT 14 APROutdoor

HIGHLANDER MOUNTAIN MARATHON @ Kinlochewe. Handsonevents.co.uk.ALSO ON SUN 15 APRILTeam/Football

FOOTBALL: ROSS COUNTY V DUNDEEELGIN V ANNAN ATHLETIC

SUN 15 APRAthletics

LOCHABER MARATHON @ Fort William Shinty Field. The Lochaber Marathon, running alongside Loch Eil,has to be one of the most scenic races in the UK. It is also very flat and offers a good chance for a PB. The marathon starts from Fort William Shinty Field, next to Nevis Centre. lochaberac.co.uk.

THE GLENLIVET 10K ROAD RACE @ Glenlivet Distillery. Based at the iconic Glenlivet Distillery in the heart of the Cairngorms National Park this 10km road race passes through some of the most stunningly beautiful landscape in the world.

OTHER SPORT PICK: OLYMPIC TORCH TEST EVENT@ Secret Highland Venue, Sun 01 Apr, 11.59amNot long now until the Olympics start and the test events for cycling, swimming and diving have shown everything to be tickety boo. All that’s left now is to get the peripherals in order like the opening and closing ceremony and much trumpeted Olympic Torch Relay. The torch will be coming through the Highlands in early June to coincide with RockNess, but before that the organisers are going to be making sure the swishily designed flame carrier actually works. With that in mind, they’re going to be spending 01 Apr in an as yet undisclosed location (rumoured to be near Ullapool, but chosen because of high winds) testing various fuel sources ranging from lighter fluid to Buckfast to anything picked up from the beach at Dounreay. There’ll be a pair of free tickets to the Men’s 100m final up for grabs for anyone dressed as a famous Olympian according to organiser AVRIL DUPER.

TUE 17 APRTeam


SAT 21 APRAthletics

SATURDAY AND MORAY SCHOOLS LEAGUE @ Lossie Forest, 10.15am. Moravian Orienteering Event. moravianorienteering.org.Outdoor

THE BALLATER BIKE FESTIVAL @ Cyclehighlands, Ballater, 10am. The Ballater Bike festival brings some of the worlds top bike manufacturers to stunning Royal Deeside for a weekend of testing, guided rides and much more. The weekend includes an all day BBQ and free physio tent on Saturday with an evening slide show hosted by some big names from the world of mountain biking. Sunday features guided rides out to some of Ballater’s classic trails.FREE EVENT. See main featureTeam/Football

FOOTBALL: MORTON V ROSS COUNTYBERWICK V ELGIN @ Berwick

SUN 22 APRAthletics

FYVIE CASTLE AND LAKE 5K AND 2.5K FUN RUN @ Fyvie Castle, Near Turriff. 5K - Start Time 10.45am - entry £8/£10 2.5K - Start Time 10am - entry £5 No entries on the day. fyvieparents.info.Outdoor

THE BALLATER BIKE FESTIVAL @ Cyclehighlands, Ballater, 10am. See Sat 21

TUE 24 APRTeam


SAT 28 APRAthletics

MAGGIE’S MONSTER BIKE & HIKE 2012 @ Fort William To Inverness. 24-hour fundraising team challenge. The event goes from Fort William through to Inverness covering 73 miles along the Great Glen Way.If you have any questions related to Maggie’s Monster Bike and Hike, please email [email protected] or call 0300 123 1801.See main featureOther

BLACK ISLE CYCLE CHALLENGE @ Resolis Memorial Hall. This year’s Black Isle Cycle Challenge features routes for all abilities. highlandhospice.org.Team/Football

FOOTBALL: ROSS COUNTY V HAMILTON ELGIN V MONTROSE

SUN 29 APRAthletics

MAGGIE’S MONSTER BIKE & HIKE 2012 See Sat 28 & main feature

TUE 01 MAYTeam


SPOR

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1

THEATREThe Scottish Play(s)

DANCECOMEDYCABARET DRAMA MUSICAL

39 > P40–43 FOR > CABARET > COMEDY > DANCE > DRAMA > MUSICALS > MORE

While Scottish stand-up takes in a whole swathe of self-expression, from the raconteurial banter of Billy Connolly to the misanthropic spleen of Frankie Boyle and most recently the something-for everybody routines of housewives’ favourite Kevin Bridges, when it comes to ensemble comedy and sitcoms, they all seem connected by a certain peculiarly Scottish whimsy. So, despite the different settings, Still Game isn’t really all that different from Gary Tank Commander and Burnistoun a close relative of C4’s 80’s sketch show Absolutely. While they’re roaring successes here in Scotland, they never seem to really translate in the wider world, making them all the more cherished by the people here. Even the extraordinary Limmy’s Show meets with bafflement south of the border.

And this month provides an excellent opportunity to see just what we mean, as there are several shows possessed of the aforementioned ‘Scottish Comedy spirit’, spanning the years, but all somehow tapping into the same psyche.

THE STEAMIE [1] (EDEN COURT EMPIRE 16–21 APR) was written by Rab C. Nesbitt actor TONY ROPER and first performed back in 1987. To celebrate its Silver Jubilee, it’s back on tour giving us a view of life among a group of 1950s women washing their clothes in a Glasgow public washhouse - the “steamie” of the title. Roper himself is directing this production and even half a century after its original setting, the characters and their concerns resonate just as strongly.

The title of STICK GRANNY ON THE ROOF RACK [2] (EDEN COURT ONETOUCH, THU 26 APR) makes no bones about its irreverent approach and again it’s proved a huge success, this time for the ace MsFits company and writer Rona Munro. In a tour de force performance FIONA KNOWLES takes on the roles of three generations of a family during a holiday financed by a scratch card win. All sorts of misadventures ensue and the laughs are guaranteed.

There are more travel-related high jinks in PASSING PLACES [3] (EDEN COURT EMPIRE MON 30 APR), presented by the NPL Theatre Company. Telling the story of two lads from Motherwell trying to escape their dead end lives by “borrowing” a clapped out Lada and a surfboard belonging to their psychopathic boss. Making their way to Thurso for the waves, they meet beautiful girls, strange characters and hippy travellers leading to late night whisky fuelled, philosophical discussions and romantic encounters.

COMING SOON TOTHE MAN

WHO LIVED TWICEdrama

Wed 04 Apr

SCIENCE MUSEUM LIVE!explosive family fun!

Sun 15 Apr

THE DUPLETSharp and song duo

Sat 21 Apr

THE KILMARNOCK EDITION

musicFri 06 Apr

SPIERS & BODENfounding members

of BellowheadSun 15 Apr

THE CAMPBELLS OF GREEPE

& SPECIAL GUESTSmusic Thu 26 Apr

INVERNESS AREAGANG SHOW

Wed 11 – Sat 14 Apr

THE STEAMIE25th Anniversary TourMon 16 – Sat 21 Apr

PASSING PLACESdrama

Mon 30 Apr

Box Office: 01463 234234www.eden-court.co.uk

www.facebook.com/edencourttheatrewww.twitter.com/edencourt

MON 26 MARComedy

TONY LAW @ Eden Court One Touch, 7.30pm. Half Canadian, half Trinidadian, Law’s laid back acid casualty persona unfurls into some tremendously acerbic comedy. Excellent stuff. 01463 234 234

WED 28 MAROther

AN EVENING OF GASTRONOMY WITH CLAIRE MACDONALD @ Eden Court Empire, 7.45pm. Celebrate the best of our foods from the Highlands, in aid of Marie Curie. 01463 234 234

FRI 30 MARComedy

PHIL COOL @ The Ironworks, 7pmA ubiquitous presence on TV in the eighties, Cool’s comedy might not have aged particularly well, but he’s still possessed of an extraordinary rubber fizzog that has to be seen to be believed. There’s something of the Lee Evans to him, though rather less annoyingly hyper.£15. 0871 789 4173Musical/Opera

BBC SSO @ Eden Court Empire, 8pm To be recorded for future broadcast on BBC Radio 3. 01463 234 234

SAT 31 MARComedy

DOUG STANHOPE @ Eden Court Empire, Sat 31 Mar Ricky Gervais recently said “Doug Stanhope might be the most important stand up working today” while The Times settled for “a visionary douchebag”. That pretty much captures the skilfully delivered vitriol that’s had the American Stanhope compared to Lenny Bruce, Sam Kinison and even Bill Hicks. He’s not quite that good, but certainly a league above most of his peers, as evidenced on his latest DVD, the perkily titled Before Turning the Gun on Himself released on Roadrunner Comedy, the sister label to Roadrunner Records, home to bands like Slipknot and Rob Zombie. His material is not only gloriously corrosive, but also fuelled by a rare intelligence, like Stewart Lee and Jerry Sadowitz trapped inside the same skull. Unequivocally recommended and the sort of performer you’ll be telling people about for years to come.

Dance

AN EVENING OF BURLESQUE @ Strathpeffer Pavilion, 8pm. Last year’s Burlesque night showed the Pavilion stealing a march on everyone else by putting on the type of performance that’s taken the rest of the country by storm. And this time round you can expect more of the same as “corsets, killer heels, stockings aplenty, sultry vocals, mischief, magic, frivolity and fun collide.” Now that is exactly what we always like from an evening. Not to be missed. Tickets £19.50 (conc. £18) now online from Booth Scotland and Ticketweb, also via Ticketweb 24-hr hotline 08444 771000, from June’s Card Shop Dingwall and Pavilion 01997 420124 Over 18s only. 01997 420124

MON 02 APRMusical/Opera

AN EVENING WITH WILLARD WHITE: ROBESON RE-EXPLORED @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. Sir Willard explores more of the repertoire and life story of this important icon of the last century. 01463 234 234

WED 04 APRDrama

THE MAN WHO LIVED TWICE @ Eden Court One Touch, 8pm. Directed by Alison PeeblesDesigned by Kenny Miller

On the 27th December 1936 in a penthouse suite high above the streets of New York a meeting took place between a young, beautiful and very much in demand actor, John Gielgud, and the playwright Edward Sheldon. 01463 234 234

THEATRE PICK: Comedy

THE WEE MAN PRESENTS: NEDATOR@ Ironworks, Fri 06 AprThere’s some determinedly Scottish behaviour going on here. Let the YouTube sensation himself explain what the story of the show is all about. “It’s an action-packed comedy adventure of fighting men pitted against an unseen enemy - a force more powerful than their fiercest weapons or insults. Recruited by General Bratchpiece to rescue his mate Tam’s case of Buckfast which has been stolen by a bunch of wee dicks on Lenzie Moss, The Wee Man and his cracked squad of Commandos encounter an enemy unimaginably more deadly than any on Earth or Glasgow or Lenzie… because the Nedator is from Kilmarnock.” Should attract an, er, interesting audience.

SAT 07 APRCRAIG HILL: BLOWN BY A FAN…! @ Eden Court One Touch, 7.30pmScotland’s favourite kilted treasure puts the wind in your willows! After his last smash-hit, tour that sold out throughout the UK and in Australia, South-east Asia, South Africa and even in Switzerland. 01463 234 234

SUN 08 APRGILDED BALLOON COMEDY CIRCUIT@ Eden Court One Touch, 8pm. Gilded Balloon has been at the cutting edge of new comedy talent at the Edinburgh Fringe for over 25 years. 01463 234 234

WED 11 APRDrama

INVERNESS AREA GANG SHOW @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. For nearly 30 years, Inverness Area Gang Show has been raising the roof of Eden Court with its colourful, vibrant and exciting biennial production. 01463 234 234

THU 12 APRINVERNESS AREA GANG SHOW @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm as Wed 06

FRI 13 APRDance/Contempoary

AN EVENING OF CONTEMPORARY DANCE 2 @ Universal Hall, Findhorn, 8pm. Presented as part of Bodysurf Scotland’s dance platforms this show brings three inspiring and compelling dance solos from three riveting international artists: Benno Voorham, Rosalind Masson plus a special guest. The Masson piece, The Oceans are Drowning, was inspired by current environmental issues surrounding the melting of the polar ice-caps.Drama

INVERNESS AREA GANG SHOW @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm as Wed 06

SAT 14 APRComedy

PHIL KAY @ Universal Hall, Findhorn, 8pm. Catch Phil on home turf – he lived in Findhorn for Years — for a show that’s bound to be delightfully unhinged. After twenty-two Edinburgh festivals and eighteen Glastonburys, Phil is still breaking ground as a highly emotive touchy-feely, come-off-the-stage-and-cuddle-you type of comedian. He’ll talk of living in England and hanging out with his 3-year-old kid, Lion. He’s got a great Tiger Woods routine, one about buying machetes in a Venezuelan supermarket, and even more about Olympic hoovering and being rubbish on the TV show “QI” — twice.Drama

INVERNESS AREA GANG SHOW @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm as Wed 06 41

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SCIENCE LIVE @ Eden Court Empire, 4pmUnleash your inner Einstein - explosive fun for all the family! Experience spectacular science, dangerous demonstrations and extraordinary experiments as the Science Museum takes to the stage with a fantastic live show to blow your mind and challenge your brain! FREE teachers’ resource pack available to download at: www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/liveontour. 01463 234 234

MON 16 APRDrama

THE STEAMIE @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. It’s Hogmanay in a Glasgow wash house, and the girls need to get their washing done before the bells. 01463 234 234

TUE 17 APRTHE STEAMIE @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. As Mon 16 AprMusical/Opera

SCOTTISH ENSEMBLE WITH VIOLINIST JONATHAN MORTON @ Eden Court One Touch, 8pm. Ligeti: Ramifications,Webern: Five Movements for Orchestra Op 5Debussy:String Quartet in G minor Op 10,Bruckner:Adagio from String Quintet in F major, Mendellsohn and Bach.

WED 18 APRComedy

ANDREW LAWRENCE - THE BEST KEPT SECRET IN COMEDY TOUR @ Eden Court One Touch, 8pm. Maybe you’ve heard his Radio 4 series ‘What To Do If You’re Not Like Everybody Else’. Probably you’ve never heard of Andrew Lawrence at all. How remiss of you. Join him as he embarks on his latest UK stand-up tour. www.andrewlawrencecomedy.co.uk for details. 01463 234 234Drama

THE STEAMIE @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. As Mon 16 Apr

THU 19 APRTHE STEAMIE @ Eden Court Empire, 1.30pm, 7.30pm. It’s Hogmanay in a Glasgow wash house, and the girls need to get their washing done before the bells. 01463 234 234

FRI 20 APRTHE STEAMIE @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. As Mon 16 Apr

SAT 21 APRComedy

STICK GRANNY ON THE ROOF-RACK @ Royal British Legion, Buckie. Fiona Knowles plays three generations of a family on a holiday of a lifetime. msfits.co.uk.Drama

THE STEAMIE @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. As Mon 16 Apr

TUE 24 APRComedy/Drama

HI-DE-HI! @ Florians Theatre, Bught Drive, Inverness, 7.30pm. By Paul Carpenter.

WED 25 APRComedy

SARAH MILLICAN : THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLICAN @ Eden Court Empire, 8pm.

Observational and self deprecating gags from the ubiquitous Ms Milligan. 01463 234 234Comedy/Drama


THU 26 APRHI-DE-HI! @ Florians Theatre, Bught Drive, Inverness, 7.30pm. By Paul Carpenter.Drama

STICK GRANNY ON THE ROOF RACK @ Eden Court One Touch, 7.30pm. A comedy drama by multi award winning playwright Rona Munro.performed by award winning actress Fiona Knowles. 01463 234 234 See feature

FRI 27 APRComedy/Drama


SAT 28 APRComedy

PRITCHARD VS. DAINTON LIVE SHOW @ The Ironworks, 8pm. Dirty Sanchez boys engaging in all sorts of painful tomfoolery for them that approve of such things. pritchardvsdainton.co.uk/. 0871 789 4173

Comedy/Drama

HI-DE-HI! @ Florians Theatre, Bught Drive, Inverness, 7.30pm. By Paul Carpenter.Other

VARIETY EVENING @ Strathpeffer Community Centre, 7pm.

SUN 29 APRComedy

GILDED BALLOON – EARLY EVENING COMEDY SHOW @ Hootananny. 01463 233 651The legendary Edinburgh comedy club put on their first comedy night at Hoots. This will act as a precursor to the all new Inverness Comedy Festival, HAPPYNESS, they’re organising for late May - featuring some great names at both Hootnanny and Eden Court. More next month!Other

AN EVENING OF MEDIUMSHIP WITH TV PSYCHIC TONY STOCKWELL @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. An Evening of Mediumship For those with an interest in mediumship, the name of Tony Stockwell will certainly need no introduction. 01463 234 234

MON 30 APRDrama

PASSING PLACES @ Eden Court Empire, 7.30pm. Alex and Brian are two local lads, desperate to leave their mundane lives and dead end jobs in Motherwell so they hit the road and head north for Thurso, where the surf is up all year round. 01463 234 234 See feature

WED 02 MAY& THU 03 & FRI 04THE CAPTAIN’S COLLECTION @ Eden Court One Touch, 8pm. Dogstar Theatre: Captain Simon Fraser attempts to win fame by publishing his Highland music. 01463 234 234

COMING NEXT MONTH: Comedy

BREAKIN’ CONVENTION 2012@ Eden Court, Tue 22 MaySimply everybody is going to be spinning on their heads, body popping and quite possibly doing the Electric Boogaloo when Breakin’ Convention comes to Eden Court. Now in its ninth year, this Sadler’s Wells production is only making TWO Scottish appearances, so expect fans of hip hop and street dance to be flocking to check out the acts curated by eminent hip hop theatre artist JONZI D.Alongside performances from local crews, Breakin’ Convention features stunning performances from CLASH 66 (France & Korea) bringing a sublime duet that’ll leave you open mouthed, as, we expect, will the double world champions VAGABOND CREW (France).MC and dancer TONY MILLS, who’ll be helming proceedings is actually originally from Orkney and trained to be a vet (“I can still find the lymph node on a cat”), before falling in love with dance. He also performed up here recently in Curious Seed’s Push and was keen to tell us that Breakin’ Convention is going to be pretty special. “Obviously groups like Diversity have brought a widespread, mainstream popularity to street dance, but there’s a lot more to it than that. Hopefully there’ll be a young crowd coming to it from the hip hop side of things, but it should also appeal to people who are into ballet and ‘conventional’ modern dance.”There’s much more to the event than just the performers though, with live DJ demos, workshops, a graffiti wall and other delights still to be announced. MORE NEXT MONTH.

WIN TICKETS !! Are you an aspiring B-Boy or Girl? Do you want 2 free tickets to the Breakin’ Convention? Send us a picture of you doing your best Breakin’ freeze (that’s a cool Hip-Hop pose, by the way) and not only will we put the best photo in next months ICA, the winner will also win 2 free tickets for 22 May.

>>> ENTRIES BY MONDAY 09 APRIL <<<

SEND YOUR BEST SHOT - VIA TEXT 07786 206955 keyword ‘FREEZE’;OR VIA EMAIL [email protected]

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*Booking fee. Production suitable for age 12+ Registered in Scotland No. SC065497. Scottish Charity No. SC008037AW Conqueror Typeface created by Jean Francois Porchez, distributed by Arjowiggins.

9–12 May 2012Box Office 01463 234 234*

Book Online www.eden-court.co.uk*

World Premiere Tour


9–12 May 2012Box Office 01463 234 234*


World Premiere Tour


9–12 May 2012Box Office 01463 234 234*


World Premiere Tour

music

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WHILE WE WERE SLEEPINGSo the Belladrum lineup was announced last month just after we got our printing machine into motion, and being short of a fl ux capacitator, we couldn’t give you the low down, so here’s whats been announced...- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -TravisThe WombatsBeverley KnightFrightened RabbitWe Are ScientistsSlow ClubFink

Treacherous OrchestraJuan ZeladaRyan KeenBastille

To KIll A KingNina NesbittStanley OddFatherson

The DangleberriesJames MackenzieIan MCLaughlinThe OutsidersWhisky River bandThe Red Kites

WHATSONINVERNESS.COMSo over the next month or so you’ll notice that our online presence is about to change quite considerably. Its taken time to get right, and once its all online, it really will be the only place to see whats on when in and around the whole area – making your summer this year and years to come completely packed of events and things to go and do.

Anyway have a little trip over to whatsoninverness.com and pop in your details to hear fi rst when its online, your might even get a beta invite!

You can also add us to your social feedsjust look out for whatsoninverness

WEAREALLOUTSIDERSA new monthly club night on the last Friday of each month between April and September which will feature a live set from Iain McLaughlin & The Outsiders + a special guest band and a DJ set from Iain and co - their live set will vary each month with some new songs, covers and different versions of older material being tried out. The night is infl uenced by the Detroit 60’s scene and acts such as The Stooges and MC5 with a dirty rock n roll fl avour getting a 21st century twist.

» FRI 27 APRIL - WEAREALLOUTSIDERS «+ SPECIAL GUESTS WECAMEFROMWOLVES

web

just look out for whatsoninverness

ica propertysponsored by HSPC01463 231173 cool interiors

HSPC | 30 Queensgate Inverness | www.hspc.co.uk | 01463 231173 45

Spin with Style... OVUM WASHING MACHINE by Adrian Larripa

The electric washing machine has been around for over 100 years and became a common household appliance in the 1950’s. Since that time innovations in the washing department have focused on giving us whiter whites, cooler washes, better results but not much has has changed about the basic cubic design. While the Ovum Washing Machine may not be able to squeeze so neatly into your utility room it is such an exquisite design it demands to be centre stage anyway.

Designer Adrian Larripa may have cared more about aesthetics than practicalities while designing this beauty but there has to be room for more beauty in the world. Inspired by the smooth form of a river pebble, giving us the sense of natural beauty and embodying the idea of stream water freshness. It has an elegant design, narrow at the back and broadening towards the front to an ocular opening with an intuitive digital interface.

The Ovum may signal a move towards more innovation on the design front for what must be our most taken-for-granted appliance.

propertyContemporary metal outdoor furniture Award winning blacksmith and designer Alex Moore has been creating original metalwork for over 12 years now and has supplied pieces for public buildings and private residences throughout the uk. Not to mention numerous pieces for meda-winning gardens for Chelsea Show gardens.

Together with his wife Kim he runs Moore Designs - a venture which specialises in exciting contemporary outdoor furniture. Working exclusively in metal, they provide functional works of art for your garden with the added benefit being that they require no maintenance - you can just sit back and enjoy them. A piece that exemplifies Alex’s unique style is The Nest seat – which truly brings art to life in your garden. The swirls of metal which lovingly cocoon you in your own private escape from the world also frame little captions of your garden for you to enjoy. Best of all - it’s big enough for two, the perfect way to wile away a summer afternoon.

ica property issponsored by HSPC- the Property Professionals

64 HSPC | 30 Queensgate Inverness | www.hspc.co.uk | 01463 231173

ica propertysponsored by HSPC01463 231173

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HSPC | 30 Queensgate Inverness | www.hspc.co.uk | 01463 231173





Looking Ahead With HSPC Mortgage Services With lots of external influences, quite apart from what may occur on the domestic front, it’s not easy to see how 2012 will pan out... There are various views on how the Eurozone crisis will impact upon the UK and how it will affect the environment for mortgage lending. What is known, is that we currently have on offer some of the lowest average Fixed and Variable Tracker rate mortgage deals since records began. Which could be great news for those that want to remortgage. Alternatively, with the Bank of England Base Rate sitting at 0.5% (at the time of writing), it could be equally good for those who remain

on a Variable Tracker product that’s linked to it. (Sources: Moneyfacts & Bank of England, Mar 2012) Interest rate rises without a Base Rate rise? A good number of existing deals will come to an end in 2012, with borrowers then reverting to their Lender’s Standard Variable Rate (SVR). Overall, it’s possible that at least 3.5m borrowers may now be sitting on an SVR! And some may have already fallen victim to Lenders raising their SVRs, despite the Base Rate remaining stable, with a number of SVRs now well north of 4%. (Source: Moneyfacts, Mar 2012

Planning aheadThat’s why it makes sense to consider this scenario. If your interest rate

rose markedly within the next two or five years, would your monthly finances be able to cope or would you struggle massively? It may be fine now, but much can happen over, say, the next five years. Think back to how different it was in 2007. At the outset of the year Gordon Brown was still hoping one day to become Prime Minister and no-one had an iPhone. Facebook had only just been offered to the wider public, whilst the long-established Woolworths was on every High Street. Finally, landing a job at Lehman Brothers would have been a cause for celebration! No one knows if the next five years will follow a similar path of massive

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change, but you need to be mindful of what you and your family’s needs may be over this period of time. Your next moveYou may be tempted by the current crop of deals on offer. Although there’s no guarantee that they’ll be around into the longer-term. Particularly as there has been some upward movement in the money markets which may result in more expensive deals, as the LIBOR and SWAP rates are a better determinant on future mortgage rates. SWAP relates to the cost of obtaining fixed term funding on the money markets and impacts upon Fixed rate deals, with LIBOR (the cost of floating rate funding) affecting Variable Trackers. Even the Bank of England has

intimated that Lenders may now pass onto household and corporate borrowers their higher cost of funding. (Source: Bank of England, Financial Stability Report, Dec 2011) Attitude to riskThe bigger margin currently applied by Lenders for Fixed rates means that borrowers willing to take a gamble on rates rising slowly may be tempted by Variable Tracker rate mortgages, that will look better value at the outset. And there may be the option with some products to switch to a ‘Fix’ at a later date (subject to rates at that time). Alternatively, the possibility of obtaining a ‘decent’ Fixed rate may deliver the security needed to help see you though the next few years, especially if you feel rates may start

to rise by a sizeable amount. Of course, there are a whole host of issues that would also need to be considered before you opted for any new mortgage deal, so do get in touch and we can then identify the best route forward. This may well be to continue to remain with your current deal. But it is important to reassess, just to see if a new strategy may now work better for you. You may have to pay an early repayment charge to your existing lender if you remortgage. Please contact Norman Fell for further information. Tel: 01463231232Email [email protected]

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Tasty Advertising

01463715 125

EATING OUTRiver View Café & Restaurant10 Bank Street, Inverness 01463 714884

The River Café is one of the world’s greatest restaurants, with an influential, groundbreaking style of cooking, countless awards and even a range of bestselling cookbooks, drawing customers from all over the world to its prime riverside location. Alas, the river in question is the Thames in London and the River Café referred to, the jewel in the crown of the culinary empire created by Ruth Rogers and the late, great, Rose Gray. That said, Inverness does have something of a gem in the form of the similarly named River View Café & Restaurant, with an arguably even more impressive setting, barely yards from the Ness.That said, you might not be able to call to mind just which establishment it is thanks to the plethora of places in town trading under variations of River/Water/Front/Side monikers, but this one’s close to the city centre side of Greig

St Bridge, close to the cheekily named (and logo-ed) Ness Café. It’s been there for years and, until recently gave off the air of an unprepossessing, chintzy tea room, an image so firmly implanted in the consciousness that few might have noticed its reinvention as a smart, modern dining joint showing off, as we find, some pretty impressive cooking. Our decision to visit was a last minute one, so we turned up at towards the end of lunch service, finding an elegantly designed place with a clientele, curiously consisting entirely of women, ranging from young ladies who lunch to an older group gleefully partaking of a great value menu and welcoming atmosphere, to the extent that when the weather turned from sunshine to apocalyptic rain in a matter of minutes, they were happy to settle in for coffees and a bit more of a blether.

If there’s a common failing in many of the area’s restaurants, it’s a lack of focus on achieving a balance between good cooking and an economically sustainable way of operating. Far too often you see a ridiculously long menu, invariably a sign of a lack of confidence in the skills of the cook and ethos that if you throw enough options at the customer they’re sure to like the look of something. The result is a lack of care in the cuisine and inevitable wastage, meaning that everyone ends up a loser. At River Cafe, the lunchtime menu is admirably concise, with just three choices for each course and competitive pricing at £7.99 for two courses or £9.99 for three. And, glory be, the emphasis is not on piling plates as high as possible with any old cheap nonsense, but using excellent ingredients and trusting the customer to understand that “value” can 49

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Under New Management

Exclusive Use Small Wedding VenueMake yours an unforgettable occasion

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Morning Coffee & Afternoon Teas

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FREE Starter OR Dessertwith any Main Courseduring April*.*from the Brasserie evening menu, only WITH this voucher.

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Fabulous New Menu!Easter Sunday Lunch

2 courses £10 • 3 courses £12.95Pick & Mix for 2 PeopleEvery Friday Night - Only £28

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Live Music Fri 6 Apr • Kevin Fraser

Sat 21 Apr • SchiehallionFri 11 May • Kevin FraserSat 19 May • Schiehallion

Traditional Folk Night every Thursdaywith Kenny Jamieson from Schiehallion

be determined by lovely tasting food not whether you’re served something bigger than your head.

A case in point was my starter of Smoked Chicken Salad. Our friendly waitress (cheerful and helpful throughout even when my companion turned into a stuttering ball of embarrassment on ordering a bottle of Sheepshagger Gold beer) advised us that the chicken would be taking the place of the advertised Smoked Duck, showing that the people in the kitchen are quite capable of adapting smartly when demand outstrips supply. What was served did, admittedly stretch the concept of salad, being merely three thin slices of chicken and a thimbleful of leaves artfully surrounded by a drizzle of reduced port glaze. I can well imagine the quantity-over-quality faction harrumphing in outrage at such a thing but they’d be missing out on a sublimely assured balance of flavours. The result was a memorable dish that allowed the kitchen to come in on budget with quiet panache. My companion’s Melted Goats Cheese salad was equally small-but-perfectly-formed and pronounced another success.For my main I had Pork Loin On Mash (the last one left, showing again what a tight ship is being run in terms of supplies) which was again beautifully cooked and presented, the succulent pork and buttery mash perfectly set off by the intense reduced sauce that accompanied it. A deceptively simple dish, but one prepared with much care and skill. My companion’s Mixed Fish Linguine was just as impressive. Fresh, possibly homemade, pasta with salmon, prawns and scallops (which he having an aversion to, I found to go rather tremendously

with my pork), in a deftly made tomato and chilli sauce. Really, really good cooking.

There’s a large selection of puddings available from a blackboard on the back wall, but we went for the ones on the set menu and again weren’t disappointed. My Baileys & White Chocolate Cheesecake and my companion’s Strawberry & Shortbread Tower were both topped with impressive globes of sugar work and tasted every bit as good as they looked.

A lovely lunch then, in fine surroundings, with friendly staff and, most importantly, top notch cooking. All for under a tenner a head. What’s not to like? Keeping to the cafe remit of their name, there’s also High Tea available later in the afternoon, where Beef Olives and Lasagne supplement the tea, toast, cakes and homemade shortbread business. And, in the evening a slightly more extensive menu looked enticing. The name may not set it apart from the crowd - but there’s much, much more going on here than just a restaurant that happens to be next to river. Perhaps it has got something in common with its distant London relative after all...

Price for 2 (exc drinks): £19.90

ICA RATING

1: Exterior/Location ...........................92: Interior/Atmosphere .......................93: Staff–Appearance...........................94: Staff–Helpfulness ..........................95: Speed Of Service ..........................96: Food–Presentation ........................97: Food–Quality .................................98: Food–Value ...................................99: Menu–Range/Balance/Clarity ........910: Toilets–Appearance/Cleanliness ..9

TOTAL: 90%

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Making The Most Of You: fashionBLACK MILK CLOTHING

Black Milk is a clothing company founded 3 yrs ago in Brisbane, Australia by JAMES LILLIS. Now, just a short while later, it has become one of the fastest growing online shops and James is one of the worlds hottest designers. Back in 2009, broke, bored and cold, he decided to buy an old sewing machine and some nylon - all he could afford after the machine – to make himself a shirt. It was terrible, yet he wore it constantly - and from that point on he was hooked. Spare cash became sparkly or stretchy fabrics as he experimented. The real turning point for James came when a model friend of his for whom he had made a pair of leggings - requiring about ten re-cuts to finally fit - asked if she could BUY them. That convinced him to start a business. He had a vision to make clothes out of patterned stretch fabric – leggings, catsuits, swimsuits, dresses etc... and after an unsuccessful spell of trying to get his clothes into shops he decided to simply sell

them online – and women went mad for them. Each and every design is still done by James but he no longer has to sit up late at night sewing them himself as he now now employs a team of people to help him with the ever increasing orders. The online shop is so successful that they have had to shut down twice recently with demand way outstripping production at a rate that Black Milk could never have predicted. Selling more pairs of the latest design leggings in 1 minute than they had sold of everything else in the previous 2 months. They have addressed this problem in recent times but still you have to be quick if you want to get your hands on the latest designs. The leggings are their biggest sellers, and it’s not hard to see why people want to get their hands on these eye-catching pieces. At about £50 per pair they are reasonably priced too, for designer wear. You’ll find a ‘swap shop’ Facebook page for the leggings and they have great re-sale value on ebay too.

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DENTAL TREATMENT AVAILABLE

to receive your registration pack, send us your contact details via:

text 07 949 949 688

email [email protected]

post The Keep Dental Practice 2 Castle Wynd Inverness IV2 3EB

Ditch the dental direct debit & simply pay as you go!

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EVERYBODY WELCOME

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New ‘Celebrity Workout’ Results Guaranteed !!!The Latest Fitness Trend Sweeping The Nation

The Very First Barre Concept Classes In Scotland!

The precision of Pilates, moves, grace & technique of Ballet, the alignment of yoga, the strength of sports conditioning make up a typical Barre workout. The BARRE CONCEPT CLASS includes: Warm Up - The Barre Workout - Resistance Training (weights) - Floor section (Pilates, Yoga components, Abdominals section) - Stretch Dingwall Town Hall • Thursday • 6pmInverness Charleston Academy • Friday • 6.30pmwww.natalliasfitness.co.uk • mob: 07881 814362 [email protected] Natallia’s Fitness

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Making The Most Of You:health

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KEEP CALM AND KEEP FITTAI CHI: There is no doubt that a bit of exercise is good for everyone no matter what your age or physical condition. However, pounding the pavements, or pumping weights at the gym isn’t for everyone – and this is where the gentle art of Tai Chi has emerged as a popular regime which can be applied to people of various fitness levels and offers many health benefits.

The regular practice of Tai Chi integrates body, mind and spirit and is specifically designed to improve health. The turning and stretching in each of the movements contributes to better balance and posture, increased strength and flexibility, can benefit the muscular, skeletal and circulatory systems, and offers a wide range of health improvements with a soothing effect on the mind.

Physical health: Researchers have found that intensive Tai Chi practice shows some favourable effects on the promotion of balance control, flexibility, cardiovascular fitness, and has shown to reduce the risk of falls in both healthy elderly patients, and those recovering from chronic illnesses.

Stress and mental health: A study done in the US in 2010 reinforced the beneficial association between Tai Chi practice and psychological health with its findings showing significantly increased psychological well being, including reduction of stress, anxiety and depression in those who regularly practised the discipline.

With both beginners and advanced classes being held in and around the Highlands everyone can get involved and find a new way to exercise, reduce stress and relax all at the same time. Nice.

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Thu 12 April, 7pm • Tulloch Castle Hotel, Dingwall£25 inc tea/coffee • to book contact:

Dingwall Business Association: 01349 862346or email: [email protected]

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the back endsurfing...blog.ayetunes.org.ukExcellently named blog about new Scottish music.

popfessions.tumblr.comWhy pop is important to you.

biblioklept.orgFine literary/cultural blog.

tinyurl.com/46slwkd1811 Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue. It’s all sparrow-mouthed tuft hunters and squeeze-crab supouches.

tinyurl.com/852n7ngThe spookiness of abandoned asylums.

encyclopedia-titanica.orgOn the 100th anniversary, an extraordinary source of info about passengers and crew.

redsquirrelsofthehighlands.co.ukWhere to see those cute little Tufties.

thepotholegardener.comFancy a bit of guerrilla gardening?

streetartutopia.comWe can’t get enough street art.

perioddramaking.blogspot.comFor fans of period drama. Dressing up, not drama about periods.

footballists.wordpress.comFootie fans in the world’s shirts snapped in Montreal.

optillusions.tumblr.comMagnificent pastiche of optical illusions.

nevworldwonders.comScottish ex-oil worker travelling the globe in search of seven new world wonders.

meansheets.comThe Museum of Movie Posters.

gaztronomic.blogspot.comImpressively creative food blog with South Asian and French influences.

thecomposites.tumblr.comUsing law enforcement software to create images of book characters from descriptions.

SANDWICH SOLUTIONS I have a friend who likes to work out exactly how much each mouthful of a cup of coffee-shop coffee costs and the price per bite of a hamburger. He uses this information to decide which size of coffee to have and to calculate the best deals in McDonald’s. I have until now always taken pride in my own recklessness regarding such matters, if I want a gargantuan latte then I’ll have a gargantuan latte – whatever the cost per millilitre, likewise in the extremely unlikely event that I want a burger I’ll simply order by size, shape and taste with scant regard to the price. You’ll have noticed the phrase ‘have until now’ in the last sentence and be thinking “ah”, as well you might. It’s no secret that I like to have a sandwich of an evening, when I’m at work, it keeps me going until dinner. Until a few weeks ago I’d simply go into a shop, preferably one which sells sandwiches, to avoid disappointment, and buy a sandwich. My choice would be based on whatever

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60Marla Singer, Fight Club

ken kelman

flavour I fancied and what limited selection there was left at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, it would usually be chicken and something - the something being most likely sweetcorn or stuffing. One afternoon after a morning when a bank statement had arrived in the post, I found myself for the first time taking the price of the sandwich into account. That was when I noticed an awful truth – I’d been cheerfully paying 75 pence more for a chicken and sweetcorn

sandwich compared to chicken alone. Looking at the thickness of the fillings and gauging the respective weights in my hand it seemed there was no real difference between the chicken and chicken-sweetcorn options meaning that for every piece of corn added during the manufacturing process a similarly size and weight of chicken had been removed. This means that the sweetcorn was costing 75p more than the equivalent amount of chicken! To work out the actual price per gram would involve buying one of each sandwich, carefully separating the constituent ingredients, weighing same with a fairly accurate scale, finding the wholesale cost of sandwich-grade chicken and doing some sort of mathematical calculation based on numbers and stuff. I haven’t done this and don’t intend to, for one thing it’d be a very sticky messy exercise and for another I’m not sure I want to know that the sweetcorn in my lunch costs more than cocaine. I have, however, come up with a pragmatic solution to the crisis, a brief search of price comparison sites on-line has lead me to a supplier of grade-A tinned sweetcorn at only 58p a can. Each can contains 198 grammes - more than enough for around 30 sandwiches, I reckon. There is one problem though, after only a few days in a desk drawer the corn does begin to smell anything but sweet. KEN

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61

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ica magazine - issue 116 - april 2012

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