DEBORAH SLESS

The key to using Universal Laws to transform your life

ILLUSIONSBEYOND OUR

First published in 2012 by:

Live It Publishing27 Old Gloucester Road

London, United Kingdom.WC1N 3AX

www.liveitpublishing.com

Copyright © 2012 by Deborah Sless

The moral right of Deborah Sless to beidentified as the author of this work has been

asserted by her in accordance with theCopyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved.

Except as permitted under current legislation, no part of this work may be photocopied, stored in a retrieval system, published,

performed in public, adapted, broadcast, transmitted, recorded or reproduced in any form or by any means, without the prior

permission of the copyright owners.

The names, characters and scenarios presented in this book are the creation of the author based on her professional experience.

Any resemblance to actual persons or actual scenarios is entirely coincidental.

All enquiries should be addressed to Live It Publishing.

ISBN 978-1-906954-42-0 (pbk)

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

∞

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .007

Chapter 1 The Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 017

Chapter 2 The Universal Laws . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 025

Chapter 3 Cause and Effect: Laws and sub-Laws . . . . . . . 033

Chapter 4 Our Role in our Destiny . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 057

Chapter 5 The Laws of Nature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 077

Chapter 6 The Power of our Life Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 093

Chapter 7 Beliefs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125

Chapter 8 The Spirit Within . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151

Chapter 9 The Law of Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171

Chapter 10 The Law of Increase . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189

Chapter 11 Choices and Change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211

Chapter 12 The Law of Mastery of Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 231

Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .240

About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 242

Contents

∞

�

T he ideas contained in this book happened by chance. This is

what I thought at the time until I came across the Universal

Law of Chance. This Law states ‘nothing happens by chance’, or

put another way, ‘there is no such thing as a coincidence’. Through

the working of other Universal Laws people crossed my path to

facilitate me; books appeared that I needed, and I unexpectedly

would find information about spiritual workshops. All of these

things provided me with exactly what I needed at that moment to

help me write this book and see me on my spiritual journey.

In the latter half of the 1990s I was introduced to modern

spirituality. It was during this time that I began like many people

to learn about the presence of Universal Laws. I found what I read

fascinating, but I was very sceptical as to their validity. I found it

difficult to find anything to read that went into any depth about the

Introduction

�

Laws. Most of the time a Law was mentioned in passing, but

without an explanation: it was only written as a statement. I had

found, and still do find, some spiritual ideas difficult to believe in.

I do believe that there are things beyond our current understanding

and therefore I try to keep an open mind. So were the sayings ‘ask

and you shall be given’ or ‘as you believe so it becomes’ really

true?

There were a few books around that mentioned certain Laws,

such as the Law of Belief or Law of Attraction, which I learnt later,

are sub-Laws of the Master Law of Cause and Effect. Some of my

clients were also reading these books. Over a period of time my

clients brought to their therapy sessions questions related to their

reading about Universal Laws. In particular my clients could not

understand the reasons for the Universal Laws not working in

their favour despite following what it said in the book(s). These

clients believed they were doing it right and now wanted to know

what they were doing wrong. I found myself gradually answering

their questions by explaining how their psychological issues were

preventing the movement they were seeking. I showed them how

these issues were manifesting the situations or conditions they

wanted to change. I realised I was using theoretical concepts of

Transactional Analysis (TA) to fully explain the process they were

experiencing.

The main Law I found I was explaining was the Law of Belief –

‘as you believe so it becomes’. I began to write the theory up as a

professional paper for publication, thinking other counsellors and

psychotherapists might find it helpful with clients that were

reading about Universal Laws and becoming frustrated if they

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

�

were unable to manifest what they were seeking. As I went further

into the process of writing down an explanation of a direct

relationship between the Law of Belief and theoretical concepts in

TA, I began to find further links between other Cause and Effect

Universal sub-Laws and further TA theory. I started to realise that

how these Laws operated could be fully explained through certain

TA ideas. I became very excited at the thought that I could prove

that the wisdom held in some of these spiritual principles could be

explained by concrete psychological thinking.

Over the coming months whenever I discovered a new sub-Law

within the family of the Laws of Cause and Effect I allowed it time

to be assimilated by me. Gradually I found that a TA concept would

come into my mind that explained the working of that Law. I then

wrote the connection down. There came a point where I wondered

whether all the sub-Laws of the Master Law of Cause and Effect, as

well as other Universal Laws could be explained in terms of ideas

held in the theory of TA. At this point all I could do was to allow the

process to unfold at its own pace and wait and see where it might

take me. Eventually I realised I had enough material to start to

write a book that people would find interesting. I first wrote a book

for counsellors and psychotherapists, but I felt that there was

nothing in the bookshops on Universal Laws that fully explained

the Laws for the spiritual seeker. I then rewrote the book into what

it is now.

The founder of Transactional Analysis was Eric Berne, a

psychiatrist who trained as a psychoanalyst but never qualified.

He started to develop the ideas that form the backbone of TA in the

1950s. Berne developed a humanist psychological theory that used

INTRODUCTION

10

language that an ordinary person would be able to understand.

This enabled the therapeutic process to be demystified – unheard

of at this time. Unusually at the time of the development of TA he

wanted therapists to be able to teach his theory to their clients.

This empowered the client to understand how they interacted in

the world and how to begin to make changes. Clients were able to

work with themselves outside the therapy room.

I really wanted to produce a book with as much detail as possible

about the Laws and the psychological theory so that the reader

could work with all the information I could provide. During my

explorations in modern spirituality I have become frustrated with

the lack of information and factual details. The books made me

feel good and positive and hopeful that I could make changes for

the better. Yet when I finished the books and re-read them to

actively start to work on the ideas I found there was little detail of

the ‘How To’. The books gave either very little or no practical help.

There were only words describing how you could feel if you

approached the world from the perspective that the book was

explaining.

When I first came across Universal Laws there was not a lot of

information available. When I did searches on the internet I could

find very, very little. Now a search of this subject brings up a wealth

of sites on the screen. There has been an explosion of interest on

this subject over the last 10 years. Many books have appeared in

the shops, some of which have become international bestsellers.

These are feel-good books that are full of optimism. ‘Do this and

this will come about’ the books say. ‘You can manifest whatever

life, situation or thing you want, just ask the Universe for what you

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

11

want.’ Wow! ‘All I need to do, if the books are correct, is make a

request to the Universe and whatever it is will materialise.’ I

suspect most of us have said something similar when reading these

books. It sounds so simple but in reality as, I believe, we have all

experienced, the process of manifesting in its different guises does

not always work. Getting our requests answered can seem a very

hit-and-miss affair.

What appears to be a successful or unsuccessful manifestation

is actually the Universal Law in operation in both situations. What

the books on Universal Laws do not state, that I show in this book,

is that any request made where the conscious request is opposed

by what is held in our unconscious mind will be responded to by

the Universe from the unconscious belief. Therefore the Universe

has answered our request, but we see the Universe as not

responding because the outcome is not what we consciously

requested.

Each of us perceives life in a unique way based on a Story we

write in our childhood. We write this Story to understand/explain

the world around us and to get our needs met in order for us to

survive. Much of this Story was written on limited information and

therefore now we are adults it is outdated or invalid. We view life

and respond to the people and situations we encounter through

beliefs based on this Story. These are the illusions that we hold

about ourselves, other people and the world, that for each of us

feel very real and are the basis of how we think, feel and behave.

This book takes us on a journey of discovery. The aim is to help

each of us to discover what the Story is that we wrote as children,

that has a direct influence on our illusions.

INTRODUCTION

12

In writing this Story we made decisions and out of these we

developed our beliefs. These beliefs deeply influence the choices

we make which then directly affect what we experience and what

we bring into our lives. Unless we learn what our Story is we will

continue to bring into our daily lives experiences that keep

reinforcing to us that our Story is correct, and that what we believe

about ourselves, other people and the world is true.

It is therefore our illusions that stop us from seeing ourselves,

other people and the world in a broader context and keep us locked

into this constantly repetitive way of interacting in the world. Our

illusions make it very difficult for us to find any other viable options

to respond differently to situations. This book enables us to start

to understand how we interact with the world that holds us back,

what psychologically influences us to make the same choices that

keep us stuck in repeating the same life experiences; and as we

release ourselves from the bondage of our illusions we can begin to

move closer to living our life from a place where we are not

dominated by our Story. We have to understand our illusions

before we can begin to work towards releasing them. Then we are

able to allow the Universal Laws in this book to work in the ways

that are truly beneficial for us and enable us to lead the life we

want.

There are a very large number of Universal Laws. I have

concentrated on those that I believe are helpful in facilitating us,

through understanding them, to make major shifts in changing

and enriching ourselves and our lives. There are chapters about

the different sub-Laws of the Master Law of Cause and Effect. I

believe these are extremely important to understand as they are

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

13

manifestation Laws. In other words some action, for instance a

thought or action that is the ‘cause’, will bring about an ‘effect’.

Therefore these sub-Laws are activated by us through a thought,

an aim, a desire, or behaviour (the cause) and what manifests is

the response to one of these (the effect). The Laws of Nature are

explored to help us understand the different elements that play a

role in the journey to achieve our goals. The Laws of Self are

introduced to enable us to learn the importance of loving, liking

and respecting ourselves. The last Law to be explained is the Law

of Transformation. This Law teaches us that in order for us to

create a life of freedom we need to let go of our illusions.

The book takes us on a journey of discovery to start to make

changes to those aspects that hamper us in creating the life we

would like. There are lots of examples to explain and expand on

the concepts that are described and to help us to relate and apply

the concepts to ourselves. I also hope the examples will help to

prompt insights into our psychological material. There are exercises

to facilitate the process of exploring our inner material and to bring

it into consciousness to be challenged so we can move beyond our

illusions. The purpose of these exercises is to provide a structure to

begin the journey to achieve change by making a contract with

ourselves and discovering how we might hinder our progress on

our journey of discovery. There are then exercises to encourage us

to look at specific aspects of ourselves such as our beliefs and the

Story we have written.

This book can be used as a reference book after it has been read

once. Each chapter is complete in itself. Therefore it is possible to

return to a particular chapter of the book when you need to

INTRODUCTION

14

reacquaint yourself with a particular Law or TA concept, or to go

deeper into the subject matter.

Beyond Our Illusions does not provide easy answers. It provides

a framework for the journey that the reader can take if they want

to discover more about themselves and how they can change. The

journey is all about the effort the reader is willing to put in – this is

a self-help book, not a prescriptive set of steps that will provide a

panacea.

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

Chapter 1

The Journey

∞

1�

W hy am I here? What is the purpose of my life?

We all return to these questions in our quest for happiness

and peace. And because each one of us is a unique individual, we

look for the answers to these questions by setting off on our own

unique journey.

Along the way, we will find ourselves making changes to our

lives, spurred on by our inner yearning for harmony. Some of these

changes will be easier and quicker to make than others but, unless

we keep on making them, our journey will shudder to a halt.

What gives us the impetus to start the journey? In general, either

a sense of dissatisfaction with our lives, or the pain we are feeling.

For some of us, it may also be to fill a void that other parts of society

and our culture do not fill.

Part of our journey towards happiness and peace involves

continually adding to our knowledge by looking for the truth

1�

wherever we can find it. To evolve (in other words, experience

growth and development), we need to be open to every opportunity

that presents itself. When we are able to be aware of the reality of

something we can exercise our choice as to whether, and how, we

wish to change. Choice is the most powerful route to freedom

available to us.

Psychotherapy and the journeyPsychotherapy provides us with the opportunity to change the

inner structures that stop us being who we really are. These

structures are often called adaptations and they came about in

response to our childhood experiences of feeling threatened (for

example, where we’ve felt physically unsafe, or unsure that our

needs would be met). When we build an adaptation, we change

some of our inner structures. And we hold on to them because we

believe that our survival, and getting our needs met, depends upon

doing so.

The intention of our journey is to raise our level of awareness so

we can gradually move away from our adaptations. When we can

access and understand these adapted aspects of ourselves, we can

start to make the deeper changes required to manifest and

experience that which we truly desire.

Being a psychotherapist, I view the journey in terms of working

with these inner structures that stop people from experiencing and

living life in the way they want. If I were a body therapist or healer

I might see it differently; however, the important point is that there

is no definitive route. This book gives one way, which can be used

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

1�

THE JOURNEY

to work alongside some of the others, so that each part of us can

gain the positive aspects from the other methods available.

Freud said that psychoanalysis was ‘therapy for the soul’ – the

process of learning about ourselves and understanding who we are

and what has led us to where we are. When we raise our level of

consciousness, we enhance our ability to become closer to our

higher self. This process is multi-layered and this book is written

to guide you to work through them.

No personal journey is straightforward – or the same as anyone

else’s. Each is different because we are different; we each have our

own particular quest and our own specific parts to heal, and we are

all at different stages of our personal evolution. Sometimes, along

the way, we reach a dead end and need to find a route through or

around it. It is important to be able to discover the various roads

we need to take. Only we can decide where we wish to journey to

and how far we want to travel.

Our illusionsThe way in which we perceive people, the world, and ourselves is

based on how we interpreted situations as children and how we

adapted in response to them. These adaptations form the

foundations of the illusions we now hold.

The term adaptations refers to the ways in which we keep

ourselves safe – in other words, how we behave. The term illusions

refers to a view of reality that has become distorted. Our illusions

dictate how we think and feel.

We interpret and respond to situations in ways that ‘fit’ with our

20

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

illusions. Since illusions by their definition distort our perception

of reality, the result is that we react from a limited choice of options.

In effect, this locks us in a ‘prison’ of our own creation – one in

which we do not have the freedom to choose from all possible

paths. Put another way, the reason we find it so difficult to make

changes in our lives is that our illusions stop us from seeing – and

trying – alternative ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. To

change, we have first to challenge these illusions and learn what

lies at the root of each of them.

We can set ourselves free only when we can see beyond our

illusions.

Journey towards transformationBy working towards recognising – and understanding – our

illusions, we create the opportunity of setting ourselves free from

them. However, awareness alone is usually not sufficient and we

can still have difficulties in leaving the illusions behind.

The main reason is the fear that accompanies change. Change

means forsaking what is familiar and moving into unknown territory.

Sometimes the fear is so strong that we may even want to turn back

and revert to the familiar, however painful the familiar is.

From a psychological perspective, the unconscious fear is ‘will I

survive if I make the change?’ and it is buried deep within. While

rationally and consciously we can accept that we’ll survive, at a

basic, instinctual level the fear is often overwhelming. Our major

aim in life – and this is an energy force constantly at work – is to

survive. It kicks in from the moment we enter this world, and

21

THE JOURNEY

influences all our interactions. It is this instinct for survival that

drives us to adapt.

ChangeThe starting point for change is the decision to find the truth: the

reality about ourselves, other people, and the world. Learning the

truth allows us to slowly let go of the adaptations that we have put

in place through not having had a clearer understanding of reality

at the time.

To achieve freedom we need to gain access to awareness,

spontaneity and intimacy. Freedom – or autonomy – is a state of

the psyche in which we are released from the ropes that bind us to

our ways of being (adaptations) that have caused us pain,

unhappiness, discomfort, and disharmony. By making changes

(whether big or small), we begin moving towards achieving

autonomy in different areas of our lives, which becomes more and

more refined as we continue our journey.

Autonomy is made up of:

1. Awareness – being able to see and understand what is really

happening around us, as well as having a true sense of our physical,

mental and emotional reactions. This means being able to see

through the surface communication of others and using our

intuition to seek the reality of the encounter. Awareness allows us

to respond in the way that we really wish to – consciously exercising

22

BEYOND OUR ILLUSIONS

choice with respect to a situation, people and ourselves – and not

following the other person’s agenda or acting without consciousness.

With awareness we can experience first hand, without our

adaptations, other people and the world in our own unique way.

2. Spontaneity – being able to respond in a non-predetermined

way. Most of the time we act and respond in ways that are

determined by the views of others, from rules set down by society,

or our own habits – those our adaptations have put in place.

Spontaneity comes from trusting in what we want or need – and

knowing that it is possible to reach out for it without compromising

who we are in order to receive it. We are able to give to others in

ways that are authentic to ourselves. In other words, we are

responding to things in our lives from a peaceful, energised place

where we are able to choose from the different options available to

us.

3. Intimacy – being able to express, and share, our feelings and

wants with another, whenever we choose. It is the ability to make

contact with another in an authentic way without the need of a

mask. Intimacy allows us to be fully present within an encounter

and all the interactions taking place as part of it. This means that

there is a meaningful exchange – rather than just a surface, non-

substantial contact – taking place, within which we feel confidently

comfortable to share our true selves and who we are at that

moment.

23

THE JOURNEY

I would recommend that you write down your answers as it is

surprisingly easy to forget the details and only remember the

general ideas. Then, when you have some quiet time, reflect on

your answers. Often, when we allow our minds to wander rather

than put ourselves under pressure to find immediate answers, the

unexpected rises to the surface. It is in these moments that our

unconscious mind speaks to us and we get invaluable insights.

Keep your answers safe as you will need to refer to them again in

Chapter 5. In fact, there are exercises throughout the book and you

may find it useful to buy a small notebook in which to write, and

keep, all your answers in one place. This will also make it easier to

refer back to previous answers and other information you have

written down for future exercises.

∞ ExerciseNow is the time to begin to clarify for yourself what you want to gain from reading this book. In order to do this you may like to reflect on and answer the following questions:

• What prompted me to start reading this book?

• What do I hope I will receive through reading this?

• What is happening in my life that I don’t like?

• What would I like to change about my life?

• Which of the changes I would like to happen can I implement?

• What would be the effect on my life of each of these changes?

Get your copy today  

Simply click HERE  to order  

Beyond Our Illusions