impactMonday 7th April2008Volume 9 Issue 12www.bathimpact.com

In impact this week...

student

A career change for the Beatles?

Ents, Page 13

Do your bit for the local economy!

Comment, Page 5

Uni of Bath cheerleaders on a winning streak.

Sport,Page 19

Laurence CableTreasurertreasurer@bathimpact.com

THE VICE-CHANCELLOR of the University of Bath would neither confirm nor deny whether the management are considering MP Dan Norris’s proposal to expand into the Cadbury’s factory in Keynsham, which will shut its doors by 2010.Mr Norris wrote to Glynis

Breakwell to suggest the idea of redeveloping the site as one of the new universities proposed

recently by the government.Professor Breakwell did reveal

that the idea had been “discussed” among the management, and that they would shortly be responding in writing to Mr Norris.It seems likely that the

University will attempt to delay any decision on the matter until the current Masterplanning process is completed, and the future possibilities for developing the site at Claverton are known.Professor Breakwell said: “With

the movement of the Green Belt and the Masterplanning exercise

underway we will be in a [better] position to judge our future needs effectively.”Mr Norris, the Labour MP for

Wansdyke, is keen to cushion the blow to the local economy of the factory’s closure, which will see some 500 staff lose their jobs.Chocolate production is being

moved to sites in Birmingham and mainland Europe to cut costs.The Vice-Chancellor of Bath

Spa University has also been contacted about the site, but he too has yet to make an official response.

Choc-a-Block Uni Considers Cadbury’s

Students Throw Out Sweeping NUS ChangeJack MitchellEditor-in-Chiefeditor@bathimpact.com

PLANS BY the national NUS executive to radically reform the organisation of the Union have been narrowly rejected by delegates at the annual NUS national conference in Blackpool.A two-thirds majority was needed

to implement the motion, but the figure of 692 attendees voting in favour – despite constituting a simple majority – fell just 25 votes short of the required threshold.The proposed changes involved

replacing the 27-member national executive committee with a board to run the Union, advised by a new senate body comprising elected student representatives. ‘Zone committees’ of Sabbs would have developed interim policy and reported their proposals to the senate.Those in favour of the reforms

argued that they would modernise the NUS and make it more representative of minority groups such as part-time, international and mature students, while opponents claimed they would make the Union less democratic.National NUS President Gemma

Tumelty asked delegates: “Will you vote yes to an NUS of the future? Our structures and our culture are holding

us back – you’ve got the opportunity to change that for good.”Bath SU President Dave Austin,

a strong supporter of the motion, told impact he was naturally disappointed with the result.“I guess they’ve seriously got to

think about how we go forward from here,” he commented, adding that the probable course of action will be for the policy to be tweaked and presented again for approval at next year’s conference.“There clearly is a consensus out

there among the student movement that the NUS needs to reform and that it’s failed over the last couple of decades. “The current structure isn’t unfit

for purpose, but another would be more effective.”Austin admitted that, although he

would be against such a move, it is not inconceivable that next year’s Sabb team could decide to disaffiliate Bath University Students’ Union from the NUS.Union Council representative

James Claverley told impact that he has planned a discussion to be held in the next meeting, whereby the councillors – elected by the Bath student body in October – will consider whether, in the light of the outcome of the conference vote, the case for disaffiliation has been strengthened or weakened.

It’s all part of the masterplan. Don’t miss out on your chance to tell the University what you think. See News (Page 2).

News2 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

Editor Jack MitchellDeputy Editor Adam LuqmaniNews Editor Josh CheesmanDeputy News Editor Matthew HartfieldComment Editor Charlotte KingDeputy Comment Editor Hadleigh RobertsFeatures Editor Josie CoxDeputy Features Editor Sian LewisScience Editor Matt AshDeputy Science Editors Liam Mason & Sally NallEnts Editors Phil Bloomfield & Sean LightbownDeputy Ents Editor Max WatsonSport Editor Adrian DalmedoDeputy Sport Editor Tim LeighOnline Editor Kieron MacknightPhoto Editor David Kennaway Treasurer Laurence CableChief Sub-Editor Amira Fathalla

Contact DetailsPhone - 01225 38 6151Fax - 01225 44 4061Email - impact-editor@bath.ac.uk

Web - www.bathimpact.com

Address - Student Impact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY

If you want to write, design, take photos or otherwise contribute to impact, come along to a Contributors meeting, held every Monday in Elements at 6.30pm, get in touch with the Editor, pop into the office in Norwood House level 4 or log onto our website (www.bathimpact.com)

Students’ UnionSU VP Activities and DevelopmentHayden ArrowsmithSUactivities@bath.ac.uk01225 383667

Societies Administrator Andree PeacockA.Peacock@bath.ac.uk01225 38505

AdvertisingEnquires Helen FreemanH.Freeman@bath.ac.uk01225 386806

InformationThe opinions expressed in impact are not necessarily those of the impact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. impact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information

student impactEditorial Team

Printed by www.quotemeprint.com 0845 1300 667

is brought to you by...Mastering the MasterplanAndy Burton & Matthew Hartfield

THE UNIVERSITY is currently

carrying out a planning exercise which

will set out the development plans for

the campus for the next fifteen years.

Students are major users of the campus

and you now have a chance to give

your input, by visiting the ‘Planning for

Real’ consultation in the Library foyer

between now and and April 15.

‘Planning for Real’ is a novel way of

gauging feedback from a wide variety

of groups, and the masterplan is the

first university redevelopment plan that

this scheme is being used for. Under

this method, people come along to

a scale model of the University and

place cards on buildings pertaining to

what areas they want redeveloped and

improved. This includes development

of new buildings and what they should

be used for, such as academic space,

social space, arts facilities or sports

facilities. From this an action plan will

be created with priority points outlined,

and will be used to inform the overall

masterplan, alongside other reports

such as a landscape assessment, ecology

assessment, and so on.

Jennifer Joynt, who is overseeing

the ‘Planning for Real’ scheme, is

optimistic about how well the scheme

will run, telling impact that she “hopes to improve the quality of life in the

University.”

The SU urges you to take this chance

to air any grievances you have with the

facilities on campus and to shape the

future of our campus for the better. Visit

the scale model of campus in the Library

foyer, during the times below, and give

your thoughts and ideas about what

should happen on campus. Everyone

who uses the campus (students, staff,

local residents and businesses, etc.) are

being invited to visit, so make sure that

the student voice is heard.

The dates and times for the consultation

are as follows; 2-8pm Monday 7 April;

10am-4pm Tuesday 8, Wednesday 9,

Thursday 10, Monday 14 and Tuesday

15 April.

Universities Facing Big Drop in School LeaversMarcel OomensNews Contributor

IN TEN years’ time, the Parade will look

very different from what it is now. That

is the conclusion, not of the construction

work that’s going on near 2 West, but of

research conducted for Universities UK,

the umbrella body for executive heads of

UK Universities. This research will feed

into the preparations for the review next

year of the variable fees, which were

introduced to England two years ago.

The body projects that the number

of undergraduate places available

at Universities will drop by 70,000.

This decline would be even greater

if it weren’t compensated for by an

increase in demand for higher education

from people coming from poorer

backgrounds, and from students in

part-time education.

The report also claims that the

demographics of people attending

undergraduate courses will change

drastically in the next few years.

Whereas the number of undergraduate

places will decline, the number of

exchange students is predicted to

increase. As a result, a larger share of

the undergraduates at UK Universities

will be exchange students.

Currently, the Chinese are best

represented amongst foreign students,

even though the number of people

moving here from China fell between

2006 and 2007. The report further

concludes that the rise in Indian students

was strongest. Amongst EU nationals

the Irish are still best represented across

the UK, but the share of students from

eastern European countries such as

Poland, Lithuania and Latvia rises

fast.

This shouldn’t stop the University

of Bath from allocating seating space

though, as the drop in students is only

a temporary one. By 2027 the number

of undergraduates in the UK will be

even greater than it is now. One thing

is for sure, however: that the variety

of cultures represented on the Parade

at lunchtime is only ever going to get

greater.

Bath Blazes Brightly as University Burns Off False Fire AlarmsLucy SaundersNews Contributor

THE UNIVERSITY of Bath has been

recognised in the fight against false fire

alarms by Avon Fire and Rescue Service

(AF&RS) in a recent article on the official

AF&RS website.

Bath University is one of many

organisations who have been involved

in the scheme introduced by AF&RS

to cut unnecessary callouts occurring

from unwanted fire signals. The scheme

was introduced among businesses

and organisations after the proportion

of Automatic Fire Alerts found to be

false reached 96% in 2006. It highlights

the need for basic signs of fire to be

confirmed with a 999 Fire Control

Operator before a response to an alert

can be mobilised. Its aim is to discover

the sources of false alarms and to take

appropriate action in order to prevent

them being a trigger in the future.

Since AF&RS introduced this policy

in September there has been a drop in

unnecessary callouts by 56%, showing

the scheme to be a success.

The University, since implementing

the AF&RS policy, have seen the number

of false callouts drop by 87%, from 23

between September 2006 and March 2007

to just three between September 2007 and

March 2008. Deputy Vice-Chancellor,

Professor George Lunt, describing

the action taken by the University to

reduce unwanted fire alarms, said:

“Last year we improved ventilation in

kitchens, introduced modern technology

in detection systems and ran a campaign

to raise student awareness of the issue.

“Towards the end of 2007 we also

introduced a new management regime

that, during working hours, requires an

immediate investigation by University

staff before a call to the emergency

services is made.”

So how can you as a student help the

University’s and AF&RS’s success? By

following these three simple steps: make

sure your cooking area is well ventilated

when grilling those Sainsbury’s basic

sausages; Turn extractor fans on when

cooking - they may be noisy but compare

that to the sound of the fire alarm and

having angry housemates when you

cause an evacuation of your block; not

smoking near smoke detectors is always

a good idea.

As you can see, it doesn’t take much;

it’s mainly just down to using your

common sense and you too can help

AF&RS in its battle.

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 3

News

A Fund Day OutON MARCH 18, impact joined Tom Milburn (VP Education), Eddie Bell (VP

Welfare and Campaigns) and Charlie

Slack (Representation and Democratic

Services Coordinator) in attending

the Great Higher Education Funding

Debate, a series of discussions held by

the National Union of Students on the

future of university fees.

The day was split into four different

talks, offering a wide range of opinions

on the current top-up fee system and

changes proposed by the government,

which could mean that students at some

universities will end up paying a much

higher price for their education.

The first debate of the day was entitled

‘What future for higher education?’, and

featured Bill Rammell, Minister of State

of Lifelong Learning, Further and Higher

Education; David Willetts, Shadow

Secretary of State for Innovation,

Universities and Skills; and Prof Deian

Hopkin, Vice-Chancellor of London

South Bank University. The question

was raised as currently getting value for

money and the importance of the student

experience was stressed. The higher fees

of foreign students were also discussed,

as the ministers said ‘no’ to the idea of

up front loans.

For the ‘Impact of Variable Fees’

debate, higher education consultant Prof

Brian Ramsden and the Vice-Chancellor

of the University of Central Lancashire,

Malcolm McVicar, joined the outgoing

NUS President, Gemma Tumelty, and

incoming NUS president (then VP

Education) Wes Streeting. Streeting

commented that he felt that bursaries

had failed to decrease the divide between

richer and poorer students, and that

raising the cap would only serve to

widen the gap. The suggestion that

MPs should have their expenses loaned

to them met with approval from the

audience.

Anne Jamieson from Birkbeck,

University of London gave a presentation

on part-time students, highlighting how

they are often overlooked in the debate

on fees. Currently, part-time students

struggle to balance work and study

due to the limited funding available to

them.

The final panel of the day proved to

be the most interesting, and the most

controversial. Three speakers with quite

varying views took part in a ‘Looking

to the Future’ panel. The first was

Prof Nick Bar of the London School

of Economics, a government advisor

in higher education policy. He argued

that fees are not the greatest deterrent

for students thinking of entering higher

education, but rather attainment,

aspiration and money are. He was in

favour of variable fees, claiming that

market forces were capable of creating

reasonable prices, but opposed removing

the cap altogether.

Neal Lawson, chair of the pressure

group Compass, disagreed with Bar.

He said that increased fees would lead

to students choosing institutions based

on their price tags, and that high fees

were destroying social mobility. His

speech was focused on democratising

higher education, and trying to break

free of the model of students judging

their university prospects on a purely

economic basis. Lawson’s proposed

alternative to top-up fees was a 1%

graduate tax.

The final speaker was Claire Fox,

director and founder of thinktank the

Institute of Ideas. In part, she agreed with

Lawson, saying that students should

focus on learning for learning’s sake,

rather than seeing education as another

step on the ladder to a high-paying

career. She was scathing of the student

experience, claiming that students

today demand too much, and should

instead trust their lecturers to educate

as they see fit. She championed the idea

that students should concentrate more

on learning new things than worrying

about whether they were getting value

for money.

Wes Streeting closed the discussion by

stating his view on what the official NUS

line should be – graduate repayment

of loans should be linked to earnings,

not price or the student’s economic

background. The alternative would be

free higher education, a goal seen as

unrealistic and undesirable by many.

Government’s ID Card Plan Provokes BacklashTHE NATIONAL Union of Students

is leading a campaign against the recent

government plans to introduce identity

(ID) cards to students, after the policy for

lauching ID cards was announced by the

home secretary, Jacqui Smith.

In a speech to the thinktank Demos,

Mrs. Smith outlined how students will be

one of the first groups to be targeted, with

ID cards to be issued to all international

students applying for a visa from the end of

this year. 16-19 year olds will be given the

offer to apply for a voluntary ID card from

2010, with the scheme being open to all UK

citizens from later that year.

Opposition to the scheme arises from

the fact that the use of ID cards will be

encouraged when young people apply

to open bank accounts, for student loans

and when submitting an application for

further education courses. In a statement

issued by the NUS, they stated that they are

“extremely concerned that young people

and students will be the first to be targeted

in the roll-out”. Furthermore there is a

general fear that those without a voluntary

ID card will find it a lot harder to apply for

certain services.

The NUS is encouraging dialogue

with students’ unions across the country

so as to gauge views on the matter, and

subsequently present them to

government officials.

This protest is being

echoed on Facebook,

where young people are

being encouraged to join

an anti ID-card group

“Stop the introduction

of Government ID

cards for students by

blackmail”. The tone is

that the above measures

are a plan to introduce

ID cards by stealth, with

the group’s description

claiming that the plans are

tantamount to strong-arming

students into getting ID cards

as the main way to access important

facilities, such as loans.

impact spoke to Jonathon Delve, a Second Year Natural Scientist, who is

against the plans to introduce ID cards and

offered a scathing rebuke to the proposed

News editor Josh Cheesman was on hand to report on the NUS’s Great Higher Education Funding Debate.

scheme. “The worst aspect of ID cards isn’t

the concern about security or the overall

cost - it’s the thick-skinned continuation

of the scheme despite adamant public

opposition. That right there is a restriction

of freedom”.

The plan to introduce ID

cards has been one of the

more controversial plans

put forward by the

government in order

to combat terrorism.

Initially there were to be

made compulsory for

all UK residents, but

after spiralling costs

and fierce criticism lead

mainly by the group

NO2ID their introduction

has been scaled down.

There is still a lot of

disagreement surrounding

their use, with recent newspaper

polls showing the public’s opposition

to ID cards. There are also concerns about

security, with a team of mathematicians

last year managing to crack the security

present in such cards to gain access to the

fingerprint data stored within.

Matthew HartfieldDeputy News Editor

Waterstone’s and Hair Salon Set to Close

Amy PearsonNews Contributor

WATERSTONE’S ON campus is set

to close, leaving thousands of students

without textbooks to help them with

their studies. It is not yet known why

the store is closing, with the store

manager unable to comment on the

matter. Waterstone’s are planning to

release a statement within the next

few weeks, confirming and explaining

their reasons to close. Until then it is

merely a guessing game.

Andy Burton, VP Communications,

confirmed that the Sabb team and

SU were aware of the closure of

Waterstone’s, but admitted it was a

University matter and not to do with

the Students’ Union. He was however

able to provide an explanation as to

what was to happen to the space: “The

University have decided to relocate

the Careers service from 4 West into

that space while they build the new 4

West building”. He did continue to

say the Students’ Union had wanted

to occupy the space with a further

social area.

Waterstone’s is not the only service

on campus on the verge of closure.

Additionally the hair salon situated

near Fresh is also set to shut down.

This could result in students having to

spend more money by visiting salons

in town. The salon has launched a

petition in response to this to help

prevent it being moved out.

SPELLING IT OUT: The hair salon are not happy with the loss of business.

More Money for Vice (Chancellors)

AN ANNUAL salary survey has shown

that the average pay of a vice-chancellor

has gone up by 8% since last year, rising

to £177,844.

The highest paid university head is

Sir Richard Sykes, Rector of Imperial

College London, with a salary of £348,000

in 2006-07. Alex MacLennan, principal

of Bell College in Scotland (which has

since merged with the University of

Paisley to become the University of the

West of Scotland), was the lowest paid

on £87,550.

Sally Hunt, General Secretary of the

University and College Union, said

that “at a time when some universities

are pleading poverty and suggesting

they may have problems fulfilling

commitments on staff pay, it does seem

a little distasteful that vice-chancellors

have once again enjoyed above-average

pay increases.”

Josh CheesmanNews Editornews@bathimpact.com

VICE CITY: Universities’ Vice-Chancellors have a grip on their salaries.

IT’S A HIT: What is the future for university funding? impact seeks answers.

4 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 5

Comment

THE PUB culture is fighting for its

life; people just are not drinking

enough in pubs! Taking a (probably

welcome) break from politics, I

appeal to the best drinkers in town,

you students, to rectify the situation

to help me save an important part of

Bath.

Over Easter, I was working for

Don Foster, Member of Parliament

for Bath, and attended a meeting with

local licensees. The pub and club

managers all expressed concern over

the same thing: people are staying in

and not going out.

The smoking ban could well be

responsible, although it is not the main

issue in this case, as the pro-smoking

lobby rest on the weak argument that

now pubs smell of people instead of

tobacco. Nevertheless, it stands to

reason that if smokers go out to a pub

and suddenly feel the need to feed

their habit, they take to the streets.

The pub industry is reeling from the

damage done by people being outside

smoking instead of inside drinking.

Perhaps the other problem is that now

the air is clear, patrons can see the

other people in the bar, and do not like

what they see.

The Chancellor has been a popular

hate-figure for pubs. Ever since Alistair

Darling raised the taxes on alcohol,

there has been a well-publicised

campaign from pub landlords,

including one or two in Bath, working

under the slogan “Sorry Darling,

you’re barred!” Starting in his own

one fewer customer. However, it

is a serious issue portrayed in a

cleverly humourous way to maximise

coverage, having been featured on

the BBC and even mentioned in the

Commons.

Students Must Drink More to Boost Bath’s Local Economy!

constituency, pubs across the nation

have been working together to show

that the Chancellor is not welcome

to buy a pint (or whisky, because

he’s Scottish) from them. Barring

Darling is funny, but it guarantees

Before the prosecution rests, it is

time to discover the real reason why

Bath Pub owners are so irate. The

criminal mastermind is Mr. Sainsbury;

the real problem pubs and clubs face

is BOGOF booze in superstores. The

price of Sky Television has increased,

and if pubs cannot afford to show

sports, there is no way people are

going to come out and drink when they

could be watching the match at home

with a six-pack of cans.

T h e c r i m i n a l mastermind is Mr. Sa insbur y ; the real problem pubs and clubs face is BOGOF booze in superstores. I shall not take the position that

adults like to take when it comes to

anti-social behaviour or that students

‘drink just to get drunk’ but I am

sure that you and/or someone you

know has either bought Sainsbury’s

Basics Vodka (which is marketed

as a drink, but could also be used to

clean submarines) or partaken in some

‘pre-drinking’. Pub owners in Bath

estimated that they are losing out on

about two drinks per person per night

as people are coming out later due to

24-hour drinking.

People, particularly students, are

just coming out later. Having drunk

about 4 pints on average before

leaving home, pub staff members are

finding it more difficult to monitor

customers and unsure when it’s time

to say “I think you’ve had enough,

mate!” A gentleman (having been

pre-drinking) getting rowdy and about

to start a fight when the licensee says

to his bar staff, “How much did you

give that guy?” to hear the response

“Well, just one drink” is becoming a

frequent occurrence.

At the meeting, it was revealed by

the police spokesman that, as the law

currently stands, it is the licensee

that is accountable should a person

be drinking in their bar who then

goes on to commit an offence around

the premises. However, the same

measures do not apply to superstores.

Furthermore, in pubs, if an employee

serves an underage person at the bar,

it is the proprietor who faces legal

action, not the negligent staff member

or even the offender. If the same thing

happens in Sainsbury’s, it is again

not the offender who is in trouble,

but the shop assistant who served

them, while the manager is not held

to accountability.

People need to get out more. Once

again, it is up to students to lead by

example and head off to the pub.

Support the local economy and stay

away from Sainsbury’s.

Now you’ve read this, it is your

moral duty to stop revising, and go

buy yourself a pint!

Hadleigh Roberts looks to local students in order to save Bath pubs. Drinking can almost be classed as Community Service!

TONY BLAIR would make a good

candidate for “President of Europe”,

a new post created by the treaty

approved by EU leaders at their

Lisbon summit. The reasoning behind

this is that the job will enable the EU

to function more efficiently and to

enjoy greater unity as Europe will

have a face, principally that of its

president, who will be elected for two

and a half years.

The question remains though,

whether Tony Blair will accept this

position. While close allies claim that

he would like to take on the job, the

role of EU president could conflict

with the portfolio of advisory roles

Blair seems keen to take up. At this

stage, the problem with the new post

of ‘President of the European Council’

is that it comes third in the pecking

order, behind the President of the

Commission, currently Jose Manuel

Barroso, and the foreign affairs

supremo, likely to be Javier Solana,

who already holds half the post.

Do not underestimate Blair though.

William Hague, amidst a performance

of his typically humorous stand-up

routine in the House of Commons,

managed a serious analysis of the

situation. “Occupied by someone

with the political skill of our former

Prime Minister, this job would become

in not so many years a far more

substantial one than the government

now pretend; seen as the president of

Europe by the rest of the world.”

French opposition was to be

expected; President Chirac was often

referred to as ‘the unofficial president

of Europe’. Indeed, two of France’s

senior statesmen have launched an

“Anyone But Blair” movement in

an attempt to prevent Tony from

becoming the first president of

the European Union next year. On

February 8th, an article appeared

in The Times by Edouard Balladur,

the Prime Minister of France from

1993 to 1995, describing Blair as

an inappropriate candidate for the

position.

Interestingly though, Blair, the

former Labour Prime Minister of

Euro-sceptic Britain, launched his

unofficial campaign by seeking

support from conservatives in Euro-

enthusiastic France. As Hague put it,

“When he goes off to a major political

conference of a centre-right party,

and simultaneously refers to himself

as a socialist, he is on manoeuvres.”

His name was put in the frame last

month by Nicolas Sarkozy, the French

President, who described Mr Blair as

“a very remarkable man – the most

European of all Britons... to think of

him would be a good idea.”

Having Blair in the role would

benefit Europe enormously. He

was on very good terms with most

European leaders, excluding Chirac

and Schroder due to Iraq. There is no

doubt that the biggest danger to the EU

is no longer the Russians, Americans

or even Chinese. It is not terrorism

or expansion. It is Britain. Of course,

it would be a gross overstatement to

suggest that the British Conservative

Party is a viable threat to Europe,

but the fact is that the Tories want to

“renegotiate” (meaning ‘renounce’)

Britain’s membership of the EU. To

have, say, a Frenchman in the role

would enflame an already growing

phobia of anything European, to

have Tony Blair at the centre of

the EU could possibly stop (or at

least alleviate) the UK’s sulking.

On February 7th, it emerged that

even Gordon Brown will back Blair

should he choose to run, although the

awkward relationship of the two men

could easily bring the sincerity of this

statement into question.

In his article, Balladur argued

against Blair, claiming that he fails

to meet two criteria; “First, to come

from a country that is completely

in step with the EU’s forward

march and that participates in all

its different forms of co-operation;

and, secondly, to be determined to

build the independence of Europe,

notably in the diplomatic and military

fields.” He therefore implies that the

UK is disjointed with Europe, a fair

assessment perhaps, and in his second

point refers to Blair’s association with

the USA. This ‘independence’ theme

appears palatable, but really evokes

old-fashioned Gaullism at its worst.

In Anthony Seldon’s biography of

Blair, the ‘Anglo-American special

relationship’ is a key theme and

reports that Blair always took it upon

himself to act as the ‘bridge’ between

the USA and EU; admittedly not a

display of ‘independence’, but surely

internationalism and multilateralism

is preferable to isolationism and

unilateralism.

Ultimately, it is undeniable that

Tony Blair is a remarkable man with

great qualities, including flexibility,

rapidity and a feeling for how to

communicate. He is in no way

disqualified for this new function

because he is no longer a sitting head

of government; the only question is

whether he actually wants the job.

Vive Monsieur Blair Encore Une FoisHadleigh RobertsDeputy Comment Editor

RESPONSIBLE DRINKING: Where you have a responsibility to drink for Bath.

*Non-alcoholic alternatives available.

Apparently, impact is the Cause of Global Warming (Not That it Exists)IN MY home county of Dorset, snow is a

very rare sight, even in the darkest depths

of winter. Yet, during this year’s paschal

festivities, many of us were surprised by

that most exceptional of events: a White

Easter. Much of the country saw heavy

snowfall and bitterly cold temperatures,

with the North East suffering the worst,

most treacherous conditions.

But it is not just in Britain that it has

been exceptionally cold. In February,

Jerusalem experienced two snowfalls,

while 200 villages in Greece and Crete and

1000 in Turkey were cut off by blizzards.

In America, there have been blizzards as

far south as Texas and Arkansas, while

Canada’s weather has broken records dating

back to 1873. In Afghanistan and China, six

months of snow and record-breakingly low

temperatures have threatened lives and

killed hundreds of thousands of animals.

The Chinese are calling it “the Winter

Snow Disaster”; the Canadians, “the winter

from hell”.

It would, of course, be foolish to draw

conclusions from such short-term trends as

these. But how much have you heard about

them? These major weather events have

gone almost completely unreported by the

media. Yet this is the same media that never

ceases to trumpet its concern for “climate

change” and feeds us a never-ending diet

of ever-more terrifying stories of imminent

environmental catastrophe.

What a difference a year makes. Last

April, when it was unusually warm,

the hot weather was held up by many

commentators as a harbinger of worse to

come. Environmentalists for whom the end

is ever nigh warned that it was now nigher

than ever; here, after all, was the weather

to prove it! The media lapped it all up. But

get a spell of cold weather, and not a peep

will you hear.

So egregiously selective is the media’s

coverage of climate-related issues that it

amounts to pure propaganda. Recently,

500 leading climatologists, policy-makers

and economists signed the Manhattan

Declaration that rebutted the theory of

man-made global warming and asserted

that “human-caused climate change is not

a global crisis”. But it was filtered from

news coverage, because was not what they

wanted to hear.

Instead, they force-fed us the alarmism

of that ecological Holy of Holies, the

International Panel for Climate Change,

whose shrill, doom-laden reports

supposedly bear the signatures of some

2000 of the world’s top scientists. But

what we were never told is that the IPCC’s

Summary for Policymakers is written by a

small clique of officials, and many of the

scientists on the list actually disagree with

its polemic. One, Professor Paul Reiter,

of the Institut Pasteur in Paris, was forced

to threaten legal action to get his name

removed.

As he has lamented, it is extraordinary

that in an age of reason we should have

succumbed to such irrationality, panic

and gullibility. But for its aficionados, the

theory of man-made global warming is an

article of faith.

The inconvenient truth, however, is that

its scientific basis is open to considerable

doubt. At its heart is the idea that carbon

dioxide drives the climate. But CO2 forms a

tiny part of the atmosphere, and the amount

produced by humans is even tinier.

As the University of Winnipeg’s

climatologist Professor Tim Ball has

remarked, the obsession with carbon

dioxide is like a motorist whose car breaks

down and, when attempting to find the

problem, ignores the engine (the Sun) and

the transmission (water vapour, by far the

biggest greenhouse gas) and looks only at

one nut on the right rear wheel (man-made

carbon dioxide). The theory, he says, is

that bad.

Indeed, if it was correct, we would expect

temperatures to have soared after the rapid

rise in industrial production that followed

World War Two. Yet what happened was

the opposite: much of the last century’s

warming occurred before the war, while

the three decades that followed it saw a

sharp cooling.

The warming we have seen since

the 1970s is entirely normal and within

cyclical fluctuations. Moreover, as the

palaeoclimatologist Professor Bob Carter

of James Cook University, Queensland,

has observed, no global warming has

occurred since 1998. The global warming

alarm, he says, is “sophisticated scientific

brainwashing”.

It is easy to understand why media

coverage is so distorted: scaremongering

sells newspapers. But contemporary climate

hysteria is especially pernicious, because

our entire political class has jumped on the

bandwagon and now threatens to impose

ludicrous measures that threaten to drag

our civilisation backwards.

Mercifully, our rapacious chancellor was

persuaded to delay his 2p increase in the

price of petrol. But a delay, lamentably, was

all it was – and the cost of all his new green

taxes has been estimated at £3bn a year.

This is on top of the vast amounts purloined

to squander on pointless, inefficient

wind farms, the already crippling cost of

motoring, and the pernicious penalties

slapped on the marvellous blessing of

cheap air travel.

One of the alarmists’ most emotive

cries is that the poor will suffer most from

man-made global warming. In fact, they

are already suffering from our misplaced

alarmism. In the First World, impoverished

parents on housing estates struggle to pay

the petrol bill, while in the Third World the

wretched people of African nations are told

they can’t use fossil fuels, and therefore

can’t develop, by our glorious leaders

sitting in their air-conditioned conference

centres.

Climate is always changing, just like the

ruses our leaders use to extort money from

us. But as for our capacity to be duped by

spurious scaremongering, that will never

change.

Matthew Butler says the media is just playing an April Fool’s prank on us.

Don’t Snooze or Cruise in the Middle LaneComment Editor Charlotte King talks about driving... watch out, Clarkson!I HATED every second of my driving

lessons. If I made one mistake then the

remainder of the lesson was a series

of flustered movements by myself

and attempts by my instructor to put

me at ease. It was the thought of what

could have happened as a result of my

dodgy manoeuvre or my forgetfulness

of observation that whizzed around in

my head while at the same time I was

trying to coordinate my feet with that

oh-so-sensitive clutch and my hands on

the gear-stick and brain thinking about

what gear I should be in. I am pleased to

say that that is all in the past.

Having passed my test over two years

ago now, I find every driving excursion

a mini challenge and sometimes a mega

challenge. This is because the way that

some people drive with such disregard

for the car in the next lane or the car

in front never ceases to amaze me.

The worst ones for me are those who

insist on using the middle lane on the

motorway to cruise in. This lane is, in

fact, only intended for over-taking, a

means of getting from the left-hand

‘slow’ lane into the right, but it seems

a lot of people do not seem to know

this. This must be due to the fact

that the driving test does not include

motorway driving or any lessons even

theoretically about the motorway at

that. It’s utterly ridiculous that as soon

as a fresh-faced 17-year-old passes their

test, they can immediately take the next

turning on from the test centre onto the

motorway, having had no guidance

from an instructor whatsoever.

‘Pass-Plus’ is always an option,

but this involves paying for lessons

that aren’t compulsory in order to

drive legally, so most people probably

wouldn’t bother. In other countries,

for example Holland, part of the test

involves motorway-driving. Although

on test-day I probably wouldn’t have

appreciated an extra half an hour of

nerve-racking scrutinisation from a

high-visibility-jacket-clad instructor,

in hindsight it would be much safer

for everyone if it was compulsory to

be taught how to safely negotiate the

multiple, high-speed lanes.

It is the safety aspect of peoples’ bad

driving that is the real downer. Those

middle lane drivers also seem to be the

ones who overtake in a way that makes

them extremely close to the car in front

when they do it; they speed right up to

the car in front and practically drive

them off the road even when they’re

already doing 90mph, and they brake at

the last minute possible; it is as though

they want a ten-car pileup.

It would be much easier if cars

weren’t manufactured to be able to

drive above a certain speed. Why

does a car need to be able to drive at

150mph; why make the speedometer

able to get so high?! The reality is that

I’ll never feel safe driving as, after all,

I am controlling a fast-moving hunk of

metal containing flammable liquid and

I am surrounded by people with minds

of their own and infinite distractions

who are also driving the hunk of metal

containing flammable liquid. But the

reality is that I’ll still hop into my car

and hedge my bets.

6 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

Comment

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 7

Taking a Closer Look at Chocolate After Easter’s Binge

8 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

Features

Imagine...

THIS MAY be blasphemous, but there’s

a distinct possibility that I prefer the

Easter break to the Christmas one. If

you’re anything like me, it’s likely that

over the last few weeks you overindulged

in a heavenly, creamy, chocolaty Easter

holiday. Society may make us chocoholics

feel guilty, but actually quite a few studies

have absolved chocolate of causing acne,

cavities and high cholesterol levels. In

fact the research goes even further, finding

that chocolate contains antioxidants

- which can help

fight cancer and

even improve our

memories.

Many of us

admit to being completely addicted to

chocolate. In fact, a 1995 study found that

women were especially tempted, with

an astonishing 97% reporting cravings.

Asked the ultimate question, 57% of

women would choose chocolate over

sex.

This decision actually makes sense

considering the findings of recent

research by the University of Sussex.

They placed electrodes on students’

heads and compared the effect of melting

chocolate on their tongues to the effect of

sharing a passionate kiss. They found that

for both sexes, that chocolate created a

more intense and longer lasting buzz than

the kissing! It actually caused a greater

increase in brain activity and doubled the

volunteers’ heart rates.

So what makes chocolate so heavenly,

so pleasurable and so addictive? It’s

thought that part of the addiction could

be due to the presence of theobromine

and caffeine. Perhaps more importantly

though, chocolate contains a

substance called

phenylethylamine.

It’s one of a group of

chemicals known as

endorphins, which

have an effect similar to amphetamines.

Endorphins lift the mood when released

into the blood stream, creating positive

energy and feelings of happiness - even

euphoria. Chocolate really can create a

genuine chemical high.

Some psychologists are totally

convinced by the positive mood enhancing

effects of chocolate. Scientists in Finland

even found that women who eat chocolate

during pregnancy had happier babies.

They smiled more, laughed more and

were more active. The psychologists

argued that the happy chemicals in

chocolate were so strong that they passed

to the foetus whilst in the womb.

Other psychologists remain

unconvinced about chocolate’s seemingly

miraculous qualities. Many argue that

the levels of chemicals in chocolate

aren’t high enough to explain the mood

boost it clearly

provides, let alone

be passed on during

pregnancy. Even

Cadbury’s admit that

‘Phenylethylamine

is found in much

smaller quantities in

chocolate compared

to other foods like

tomatoes and fruit’.

Clearly there is

something more to chocolate’s intrinsic

appeal – I don’t know many tomato

addicts, do you?

It’s possible that we are simply

hardwired to love it. Researchers

in California set up a 33-foot trail of

chocolate essence. Two thirds of their

blindfolded volunteers were able to

follow the scent to the end of the trail,

just like dogs! So is our love of chocolate

satisfying a basic, human desire?

In the end, most psychologists conclude

that the predominant factor causing the

cravings is likely to be the basic hedonistic

appeal of chocolate. The sugar, the fat,

the texture and the aroma are all intensely

pleasurable. In fact, chocolate is unique.

It is apparently the only substance that

melts in the mouth

at body temperature,

gently exploding

into a warm sensual

liquid. That soothing

pleasurable quality

can’t really fail to

make people feel

happy. Chocolate

is so visual and

tactile the flavour

truly overwhelms

our taste buds. We even get pleasure just

from the anticipation of eating it.

Given its pleasurable sensations,

addictive ingredients and mood-boosting

chemicals, is it really any wonder we’re

a bit nutty about chocolate? So if you are

feeling gluttonous or guilty just remind

yourself of the facts, and any Easter

overindulgence can be easily justified.

After all, we’re only human!

JAMES DEAN, one of my personal heart-

throbs, is credited with saying: “Dream as

if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die

today.” I don’t really know what to make

of this. Is he suggesting that we all become

ambitious fops with over-sized egos? Or

perhaps he’s inferring that we should risk

our lives more often? After all, we might

die tomorrow. Unlike James though, even

if I wanted to “dream as if I’ll live forever”,

dream-control just isn’t one of my fortes.

My dreams tend to unfold pretty much as

they please, randomly churning out the

most fantastic of stories. Let me share.

When describing my dreams, the term

“weird” just does not do them justice. A

few weeks ago for example, I dreamt I

was a tree. Yes, a tree. I was standing on

a tor, drenched in the dewy sunlight of a

hazy morning. Other trees surrounded me,

but it wasn’t a claustrophobic setting. I was

solidly rooted into the earthy forest floor

with gentle breezes stroking my rough

bark. I stood tall and proud, my ancient

roots having ample space to extend to their

entire length.

A few nights later I was in an

underground KGB bunker in some

remote part of communist Russia. Aside

from wandering around the labyrinth of

corridors and passing the odd commie with

a pretty star embellishing his hat, I didn’t

get up too much. Suddenly, out of the blue,

I came across the recording studio of BBC

Radio One. Those of you who were avid

listeners before Easter will know that two

presenters were challenged to run a mile

at every Premier League football ground

in the UK in aid of Sports Relief. Sure

enough, the two of them were in the studio,

shuffling along on their treadmills training

for their challenge. I then woke up.

Despite spanning as far as the remote

Ruski bunkers and forests that resemble

those of J.R.R Tolkien, my dreams

sometimes stay as local as the streets of

Bath. Once I was walking into town on

a rainy Saturday when I came across a

busker. He was playing some exceptionally

melancholic Verve song and looked like

a homeless person. My boundless kind-

heartedness made me reach into my pocket

for a quid, but as I bent down to put it in his

hat, I noticed that letters that my granddad

had written to me a few weeks ago were

scattered all around him, resembling my

room during revision week. The music

died down and our eyes met. “Hello Josie”

he said to me.

So what have we learnt today? If dreams

came true, I would be a tree, an intruder

in a KGB bunker who is visiting some

charitable Radio One DJs, and finally,

weirdly related to a homeless busker who

turned out to be my granddad in disguise.

I wonder what Freud would make of

me?

...what the world would be like if we all had dreams like Features Editor Josie Cox...

Bathwick Hill Fun Run in aid of Romanian Orphanages

ON THE last Sunday of April, staff,

students and fellow Bathonians alike

will take a challenge all in the name of

charity - a three-mile course out of the

University of Bath, down North Road

and back up Bathwick Hill. Organised

each year by Student Community

Action (SCA), the Bathwick Hill Fun

Run encourages participants to get

sponsored to run the course, with

all the money raised going towards

funding its annual Romanian Aid

Trip.

Every summer a group of SCA

volunteers travel out to a small town

called Comenesti in North East

Romania to work in two orphanages;

Casa Lumina - an orphanage for

disabled children funded by the charity

Cry in the Dark (www.cryinthedark.

co.uk), and a state-run orphanage.

Money raised from the fun run will

be used by Cry in the Dark, to help

develop and sustain their work in

Romania, and also by our volunteers

to improve the quality of life of the

orphans they will be working with.

This year’s race takes place on

Sunday the 27th of April, starting at

11am on the University campus. To

register for the race simply hand in

a deposit of £10 with a registration

form to the Volunteer Centre in

Bath University Students Union

(forms available from there), or to

the volunteers on Bath University

parade on the morning of the race.

All participants will receive an entry

pack, and those participants who raise

over £25 for the race will get their full

deposit refunded. There are only 100

places available, so make sure you get

your forms in early!

As an added incentive to run up

Bathwick Hill, prizes will be awarded

to the winners of the race (male and

female), as well as for best fancy dress

and best team.

The overall winner will also be

awarded the Bathwick Hill Fun Run

Trophy! For more information please

e-mail bathwickhillfunrun@googlem

ail.com, or drop by the Volunteering

Centre.

Grab your sign-up forms ASAP and get yourself involved!

Psychology student Rosanna Pa jak takes a closer look at that sticky brown stuff which always seems to pop up around Easter.

“Asked the ultimate question, 57% of women would choose chocolate over sex.”

HOROSCOPE

Madame Soufflé

GREETINGS FROM the heavens, my star children. I am Madame Souffle and I will traverse the astral planes and helicopters in

order to guide you through the year. This week, as the spring term commences, everyone should strive to make some eco-changes.

We on the astral planes will be buying solar powered torches.

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 9

Features

CAPRICORN (22 December - 20

January) I know you’ve been told this

before but I feel I should reinforce the

statement. Incest is not cool.

AQUARIUS (21 January - 19 February) If

you see Bigfoot this week and he’s riding

a flying carpet with a talking camel, I’d

say it’s safe to say you’re on drugs.

PISCES (20 February - 20 March) If

you’re going to mug someone in the near

future, be polite about it.

ARIES (21 March- 20 April) There’s

nothing funny about sticking a needle in

your eye. Go ahead, prove me wrong.

TAURUS (21 April- 21 May) Do you know

what an erogenous zone is? Whatever you

do, don’t try and park in one.

GEMINI (22 May- 22 June) A thorn in

your side is worth two in the bush.

CANCER (23 June- 23 July) Next

weekend would be a good time to thwart

your enemies.

LEO (24 July- 23 August) You’re going

to help a rabbit this week. But it won’t

appreciate it.

VIRGO (24 August - 23 September) A

cricket will claim to be your conscience.

Personally I think it’s lying. Don’t trust

insects that wear hats.

LIBRA (24 September - 23 October)

Thinking about going into outer space?

Think again.

SCORPIO (24 October - 22 November)

You’ll consider reading a credible

horoscope but then realise that if you do

that I’ll kill you.

SAGITTARIUS (23 November - 21

December) Remember those aliens that

abducted you? You’re going to go on

a lovely bike ride with them. Bring a

puncture repair kit and an anal-probe-

antidote, but don’t get them muddled

up.

TeachFirst. Ask Questions Later.

HERE AT Bath, we students frequently

find ourselves targeted by recruitment

campaigns. Whether or not you appreciate

the constant flow of flyers, posters and

free branded items, the benefits are

certainly manifest: job opportunities.

Almost all of the largest graduate

recruiters are represented here in Bath,

and anyone studying at Bath who has

given thought to their career will surely

have considered a graduate training

programme with one of them. But is this

the only possibility? Will an alternative

beginning to your career necessarily set

you back?

Of course, this is not the case; there

are many and various ways to begin your

career that allow you to attain all of your

aspirations.

One such alternative is offered

by TeachFirst, a registered British

charity, which runs a two-year training

programme, using teaching as a means of

developing a wide range of your skills.

At the end of the two years, you have

qualified as a teacher, gained a wealth of

experience, and have a skill set strong

enough to enable you to move into any

career you choose.

I spoke to two Bath alumni, Alex

Pett and Deji Odunlami, about their

experiences with TeachFirst. As with

many TeachFirst participants, neither

Alex nor Deji had any long term plans

to begin a career in teaching. Alex had

“always felt a very strong pull for a

highly paid job for some sort of financial

company. I only came across TeachFirst

during my final year and to my delight I

found that it combines both career paths

in which I had an interest. Not only

this, but it sounded like the exact sort of

challenge I relish”.

Deji had been planning to begin

postgraduate study in Musical Theatre,

and even had an offer from the Royal

Academy of Music. After his time with

TeachFirst though, Deji’s mind had

certainly changed: “after completing

the programme I worked for TeachFirst

for a year, having been elected into

the role of Participant President [a

position analogous to BUSU President]

... On completing that, I returned to the

classroom ... so I’m definitely staying in

the sphere of education for the immediate

future”.

All TeachFirst placements are in

challenging schools in Central London,

the Midlands and the North West, and

participants begin teaching after just

six intensive weeks of training, so it is

certainly not an easy undertaking.

Deji found the first three months the

most challenging: “It was incredibly

difficult taking knock backs everyday

from the kids whose lives you were trying

to influence for the better. One of the ones

I’ll never forget was being told to p*** off

by a GCSE pupil who had done no work

for two weeks, just because I offered to

help. When I explained that I was her

teacher she explained that she hadn’t

noticed. “Once those times passed though,

the teaching was an absolute joy. I still

laugh so much every day, it’s fantastic.”

Another aspect of TeachFirst is the

chance to make contacts that will aid your

progress in any number of careers. Deji

says he has “gained an invaluable network

of people” including “influential people

from many of TeachFirst’s supporters.

It amazes me that I have access to some

people who I would never meet if I worked

for their organisations”.

As well as networking opportunities,

the TeachFirst programme extends

beyond teaching in other ways. Every

participant is guided through the two

years by an experienced coach from one

of TeachFirst’s supporters.

The break between the first and second

years can be used for an internship at

a company of your choice, with many

placements available that are exclusive

to TeachFirst. You also take part in the

Leadership Development Programme,

which offers invaluable training in a

variety of fields.

So TeachFirst can definitely be

considered a strong beginning to your

career, as its place as the only charity in

the top 20 of the Times Top 100 Graduate

Employers attests. And, as Alex says

about his time so far with TeachFirst, “you

never quite get used to a thirteen-year-old

girl telling you to ‘f*** off’ just because you

asked her to tuck her shirt in. Nevertheless,

I simply would not swap these past 11

weeks for anything”.

Jack Smith-KeeginContributor

THIS YEAR’S Societies Awards

Evening sees a complete relaunch of the

event, with a move to the prestigious

Pump Room in the centre of our

historic city, on 2nd May. The event is

held in recognition for those societies

that have organised and held the best

activities and events this academic

year. The awards also recognise the

contributions from society members

who have successfully assisted their

society and others, in providing

exceptional opportunities for students

to get involved.

In total there are eighteen special

awards available this year so plenty of

opportunities for you to nominate your

society! If you’ve attended a society

event and thought it was brilliant

then why not submit a nomination

yourself? It’s simple to do. Just

login to BathStudent.com/societies/

awards and follow the link to submit

a nomination. Nominations close this

Friday 11th April at midnight.

The evening will kick off with a

drinks reception in the Roman Baths

from 7pm, followed by a desserts

buffet and the awards ceremony from

8pm. With performances from the best

the Students’ Union has to offer, and

awards presented by guests including

the Vice-Chancellor, this black tie

event is one not to miss!

Coming Soon for 2008: The Societies Awards are Moving into Bath’s Pride and Joy!Hayden ArrowsmithVP Activities and Developmentsuactivities@bath.ac.uk

Nearly Naked Mile

BATH ENGINEERS Without Borders

(EWB) are organising a Nearly Naked

Mile round campus, to take place on

the last Friday of lectures. The aim is

to raise as much funding as possible to

support developing communities, and

to have a great time once lectures are

finished!

Four words spring to mind to describe

this event; run, eat, drink, PARTAY!

EWB UK makes available funding to

give poorer communities around the

world the opportunity to sustainably

bring themselves out of poverty. It has

often been proven that despite being

low on funds, students can be incredibly

supportive towards charities. We aim to

show once again the positive influence

students have regarding topical issues.

Money raised would be made directly

available to these poorer communities,

as well as paying for the training of

individuals to manage development

projects.

Additionally, an after-“run” BBQ

with drinks offers and live music will

be organised. All runners will receive

free food and drinks tokens!

In summary, the Nearly Naked Mile includes the fol-lowing: 1 Mile, 2 Feet, 3 Prizes and one For the Most Money Raised. Rebecca Drake explains more.

10 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

FeaturesScant’s Regard: Tourist Time in Spain for Laura

DURING MUCH of my time abroad,

first in France and now here, I have been

learning how to be a chameleon. From

avoiding brightly coloured clothing in

France to eating lunch at 3pm in Spain

– not good for the average week’s

snack tally – I will do whatever it takes

to blend in with the locals. And yes,

that even includes developing a taste

for coffee, although nothing could

ever cause my loyalty to waver from

a steaming mug of English Breakfast.

Tea aside, when in Spain I want to live

as the Spanish do, or in other words to

become as near native as I can in order

to understand the country, its people and

its language.

However, over the past two weeks my

chameleon-self has shown yet another

different colour, as with one week’s

break from university, followed by an

Easter visit from the family, I found

myself turning into a tourist. Stooping

to such a level can be justified on

the grounds that at Easter the entire

population of Spain becomes tourists

– as the traffic jams

and train fares bear

testament. All I did

was join in.

First on my tourist

to-do list was a trip on the Spanish

high speed train, the Ave, to visit a

friend in Malaga. Modern, efficient

and comfortable, with free sweets,

an on-board movie and enough space

for luggage, the Ave proved to be

everything the British rail service is not.

My hopes for a delay – the company

promise to refund your money in such

a circumstance – remained unfulfilled,

and as I sped south through mountains

and past field upon field of olive trees,

not a single cow managed to obstruct

the line.

If ever I had the possibility of keeping

my non-tourist respectability intact,

it was soon shattered by the arrival of

the Scantlebury clan. Abandoning any

attempt at appearing local, I picked

up my camera and embraced life as a

guiri, or foreigner. Travelling through

time and space in a very Doctor Who-

like manner, we witnessed Roman

Spain in the town

of Segovia, admired

the astonishingly

intricate traces of

the Moors at the

Alhambra palace and in the Sierra

Nevada obtained sunburn that would

make any Brit proud. Journeys in my

family have a tendency to become

geography lessons – thanks to

a geographer father and geologist

mother – and each expedition was duly

peppered with the exclamations of “Just

look at that vertical strata!” that have

punctuated my family holidays since

childhood.

Laura Scantlebury drops the smokescreen and gets back to her tourist roots.On one day, we ventured just north of

Madrid towards the Valle de los Caidos,

the burial place of General Franco, who

ruled over Spain for nearly 40 years of

dictatorship that only ended with his

death in 1975. An enormous stone cross

– built by prisoners from the defeated

Republican opposition – ostentatious

in size but simple in design, towers

“I will do whatever it takes to blend in with the locals.”

over a cavernous chapel that has been

dug out of the rock in a peaceful valley.

The chapel gleams in its grey austerity,

providing a glimpse of the character of

a person who would wish to be buried

in such a place. Impressive yet cold,

the monument speaks of the imposition

of authoritarian rule, the death, on both

sides, during the civil war and following

it, and the ruthlessness of Franco

himself. It is an unsettling reminder

that Spain was not always the relaxed,

lively country that it is today.

A GROUP of 24 students lay down

on the parade over their lunch break

to demonstrate their support for more

recycling facilities at the University. The

group formed a bottle shape, indicating

the need for more plastic bottle recycling

facilities around campus.

“It’s shocking that when we leave

lectures, we just throw our plastic

bottles and paper in the same bin. Think

how much more of our waste could be

recycled!” said one inspired supporter.

Final year management students are

running the “Revive your Rubbish”

campaign with the aim of raising

awareness and promoting the use of

recycling facilities on campus. They also

hope to collect enough signatures on their

petition to show the Vice-Chancellor

how unhappy students are about the lack

of recycling facilities.

The University introduced a pilot

scheme for the recycling bins outside the

library and Fresh last year, but this hasn’t

been followed up. The University hardly

provides any facilities for the various bars

and coffee shops on campus; in fact, they

withdrew plans for recycling facilities in

the Blues cafe in the STV because it cost

too much – now all of their rubbish just

gets mixed together.

Although recycling in halls has got

much better, the University really needs

to look into how it can make our carbon

footprint a few sizes smaller; token

gestures won’t do it.

In a nationwide analysis of how

environmentally friendly UK universities

are, Bath finished 16th out of 102. Not

bad? Sure, Bath did OK, but when it

comes to recycling we are distinctly

average, recycling only 11% of waste,

compared to Southampton’s 68%!

The fact that a group of passers-by

were rallied into lying down outside the

library in the middle of a busy lunchtime

shows just how much passion there is for

this issue. The “Revive your Rubbish”

campaign is already backed up by the

One World society and the SU, but they

now need your support to make recycling

a priority on the University’s agenda. The

students are next organising an exhibition

stand on the parade on the 15th of April

from 2-4pm and would encourage all

students to come by to sign their petition.

Look out for the green footprints!

Laura Best explains why students are lying down in protest.A Cap on More Than Just Bottles

AS THE

days get

longer and

the gorgeous

spring sunshine

makes it harder

and harder to keep

your nose glued to

the textbooks, it is time

to visit Sainsbury’s for a

good alcohol stock-up. There

will be reasons (or excuses)

aplenty to celebrate during the

following weeks as the BBQ season

kicks in, all this making it an ideal

time to try out your bartender skills

at home. Forget Sex on the Beach

and Brazilian Sunrise, go for one of

these more exotic cocktails instead

– they’re easy, ever so tasty and a

brilliant way to lure your mates out

of the library!

Fisherman’s

Friend

2 packets of

Fisherman’s friends

(50 g)

5 dl vodka

Crush the Fisherman’s friends

(imagination here - a certain fresher has

been known to use his golf club for this

purpose!). Pour some vodka into another

container, leaving 5 dl in the original

bottle, add the crushed sweets and seal.

Shake the bottle every now and then

and the sweets will dissolve. Serve in

a shot glass.

Granny’s Slipper

2 cl Bailey’s Original

2 cl Fisherman’s Friend (see above)

Pour the Bailey’s

into a shot glass. Pour

the Fisherman’s Friend on

top but don’t let them mix.

Piglet

2 cl vodka

2 cl raspberry liquor

6 cl milk

Fill a tall glass with ice, add

the alcohol and top up with milk.

Serve with a straw. Try Polish

Zubrowka Bison Vodka for a

fancier version!

Enjoy your drinks

responsibly!

Cocktails Gone QuirkyAnni KasariContributor

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 11

EntertainmentsSweet Dreams and Crushing Reality Film Preview

21Out 11/04/08EVER FELT that being at university

leaves you a bit strapped for cash?

You might consider a number of

options such as getting a part-time

job, bleeding your overdraft dry,

or maybe persuading mummy and

daddy to part with their hard-earned

savings. You could also join a

band of friends, become an expert

card-counter and con the casinos of

Las Vegas for millions at blackjack.

Amazingly this is based on a true

story, with Jim Sturgess leading

the way as the young whiz-kid

with the backing of eccentric maths

professor, Kevin Spacey.

Album PreviewThe KooksKonkOut 14/04/08BRIGHTON BOYS The Kooks have

the world at their feet. Literally.

Having sent the hearts of teenage

girls soaring everywhere with ditties

like ‘Naive’ and ‘She Moves In Her

Own Way’ on debut LP ‘Inside

In/Inside Out’, they return for yet

more of the same. The achingly

catchy do-do-dos on latest single

‘Always Where I Need To Be’ seem

to point to more of the same. If this

is the case, then expect them to fully

cement their place as the teeny-

bopper’s numner one choice, albeit

wearing silly hats.

MOMENTS IN life can be dream-

shattering. Now for instance, I’ve

always dreamed of being in a band,

playing a guitar at breakneck speed

while the crowd sings along to our

latest top 20 single. The music stops,

only for the silence to be greeted by

rapturous applause from the many

boys and girls, half of them wearing

our band’s T-shirts. The noise dies

down, almost to silence apart from

the odd ‘woop!’ here and there and a

quick thank you from me, mumbled

over the microphone. I start playing

the opening chord to one of our classic

hits, and the place goes wild.

Then I wake up.

So, when researching ‘Operator

Please’, it made a part of the wannabe

rock star in me die inside to realise

that I am older than all of the band’s

members. One by four years. It was

like a few years ago when I saw

Theo Walcott play his first game

for England, now recognised as the

official day when the child in me,

running about the pitch in his England

shirt dreaming of scoring the 90th

minute winner in the World Cup Final,

died of disappointment. I’m only 20

for crying out loud, is it really too

late already?

Well to be honest, no. Though

I might lack the ability to a) play a

musical instrument and b) sing, that

hasn’t stopped some bands. Indeed,

since 1977, when punk fanzine Sniffin’

Glue published the defining image of

three hand-drawn chords – finger

positions for E, A and B7 – with the

caption “Here’s three chords. Now

form a band”, some music performers

have taken this message to heart.

Current punk-pop faves Art Brut have

gone a step further, with singer Eddie

Argos not bothering with any of that

singing lark and instead speaking his

lines on songs. (Probably not going to

cut with music connoisseurs, but still

ruddy good if you ask me, in its own

little way). If nothing, it is proof that

you don’t need actual, tangible talent

to be successful in the music biz,

just a wry eye and a willing audience

whatever your age.

Then there’s the other end of the

scale, professional musicians who

were born with a guitar in there

hands or a bass pedal welded to their

feet, Jack White for instance. Multi-

instrumentalist, playing in two huge

bands at the same time (The White

Stripes and The Raconteurs), and

capable of more reinventions than I

can care to mention. Clearly a talented

boy, so why on earth did he deem it

necessary on White Stripes album

‘White Blood Cells’ to solely bang

a drum for fifty seconds, screaming

over a top about being in a little room?

To me, that would be like Pele in his

heyday, scoring a first half hat-trick

then turning around to his manager

and saying ‘Can I play at centre half

now, boss?’ It just doesn’t translate.

But if he can put that on album and

call it a track, why can’t I?

More than likely it is jealousy of the

clearly very talented people mentioned

previously. They were once nobodies,

normal people who went by without

note. That is until they decided to

spend years practising to get to where

they are now, and deservedly so.

The members of ‘Operator Please’

I imagine, spent as much time in

the practice room as most of us did

drinking cheap cider on weekends

or dicking around doing such other

wholesome activities. But the fact

that I will probably need the kind of

willpower they possess to become

bona-fide superstars, this minor detail

won’t stop me dreaming, or playing

the air guitar when a favourite song

comes on. When you think about it,

if you don’t have the dream in the

first place, there’s no chance of it

coming real.

Sean LightbownEntertainments Co-Editor

ents@bathimpact.comWHOOPS!: Meg was unaware that Spiderman had messed up big time.

Ben Cohen surveys the music scene from his lofty perch, and is happy to see a Sub-Saharan influence on proceedings.

From Africa, With LoveIF THERE is one thing in common

between many of the hyped up bands

so far this year, it is the influence that

African music has had on them.

This is most apparent in bands like

Vampire Weekend and Yeasayer, but on

closer inspection it can be seen that the

influence is far more widespread. Foals’

first single from their upcoming debut

LP, ‘Balloons’, has a riff with a very

African feel to it, and even Coldplay are

getting desperate enough to reportedly be

looking at African music as inspiration

for their next album. And it’s not just

a Northern Hemisphere thing. Further

abroad, New Zealand’s the Ruby Suns

latest offering has an unashamedly

African feel to it, while Architecture

in Helsinki’s single ‘Heart it Races’

even included faux tribal chanting and

a mock anthropological video.

Yet one can hardly say that

appropriation is a new thing. And it

isn’t exactly a one-way street either.

Fela Kuti, for example, admits to being

influenced by music he heard on a trip

to America in the late 1960s. What is

more interesting though is that while

Fela Kuti and many others in the same

vein have an overwhelming political

message built into their music, this

latest trend of Afro-indie tends to stay

politically apathetic. This is what sets

apart this trend from, say, Talking Heads

in their “African” phase, and raises the

question of whether we are just putting

an acceptable white face on black

music, just as Elvis so successfully did

with rock’n’roll.

While there are people that hold

this view of cultural theft without

vindication, it is especially simplistic.

To say that bands like Vampire

Weekend are merely stealing sounds

emanating from Africa is rather harsh. I

think that assimilating would be a better

word. While they may describe their

music as “Upper West Side Soweto”

and have songs with names like ‘Cape

Cod Kwassa Kwassa’, their sound is

more of a hybrid of multiple influences,

and they really are just four preppy

Columbia University graduates who

are as much influenced by Weezer as

they are by Zimbabwean drumbeats.

Likewise Yeasayer, who are also the

first to admit to being influenced by

African sounds, are a band that revel in

creating atmosphere rather than catchy

choruses, and where better to look than

influences ranging from West African

rhythm to Brian Eno and TV On The

Radio?

So while indie-rock’s latest interest

in African music fails to have any

linkages with African politics, should it

really matter if the music is all the better

for it? It is more likely a result of bands

looking outside mainstream influences

due to the rather restraining nature of

the music scene, and this is something

that should be congratulated rather than

admonished.

Ben CohenContributor

VAMPIRE WEEKEND: Indie’s new kids on the block are highly African-influenced.

YEASAYER: African Voodoo powers enabling them to levitate Campbell’s soup.

SingleSoulja BoyYahhh!InterscopeOut NowLet’s have a quiz! What do you, kind

reader of impact, think that the phrase ‘Yahhh!’ means? A nonsensical yell? A

Braveheart-esque call to arms perhaps?

Astute phraseologists will quite pointedly

point out that it is not dissimilar to the

sound that emanates from a Wookie’s

lungs. Unfortunately, as Soulja Boy

informs us, not so. So gather round by the

campfire kind listeners, and let Soulja Boy

teach us all a little lesson as to the origins

of the phrase that has been on everyone’s

lips since the start of this article…Yahhh!

What on earth could it mean? As Soulja

Boy puts it, ‘Yahhh!’ can mean anything

to the effect of ‘get of my face’, or ‘leave

me alone’, or even a phrase as simple as

just ‘stop’. But it’s not that simple, one

also has to pick the right context to put

forward such a confrontational statement

as Yahhh! So, luckily for us, the entire

chorus of the song/lesson is riddled with

such instances that Yahhh! can be properly

used. For example, if you are asked for

an autograph from a fan, what would one

say? Well, after a quick listen, one now

knows exactly what to say: “Yahhh!,

bitch, Yahhh!’ is the only proper response.

But what if, say, someone who you didn’t

like wanted to be your girlfriend? Well,

only one response stands out: “Yahhh!,

bitch, Yahhh!”. Gee, thanks Soulja Boy,

you’re the best.

PPPPP

Ben CohenContributor

12 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

EntertainmentsKid in Mask Scares Grown ManWhile Kerry-Anne Young is happily stirred by ‘The Orphanage’, Adam Luqmani is left shaken for life...The OrphanageDirected by: Juan Antonio BayonaOut Now

WITH A Rotten Tomatoes rating

of 85%; a genre described as ghost/

suspense/foreign film (brilliant,

that’ll definitely putting the shitters

up deputy editor Adam ‘Luqolas’

Luqmani); and the Mexican film

director Guillermo Del Toro (of Blade

2, Hellboy and Pan’s Labyrinth fame)

in the producer’s chair, I decided

that The Orphanage sounded like

an excellent cinematic option. The

fact that it was on at Bath’s Little

Theatre made it a sure thing – the

perfect atmosphere for a little mid-

week scare!

A quick synopsis goes thus: nice

lady is adopted from an orphanage

where she is adored by the other

orphans and staff. When she’s

grown up, she returns to buy the

disused orphanage with her husband

and their own adoptive son, to turn

it into a home for disabled children

(awww, what nice people). Her son, a

gorgeous but strange little lad, comes

to the house with ‘invisible’ friends

and quickly starts to amass more. He

then goes missing and his mum must

uncover the nightmare secrets about

the house by playing its dark games to

find the whereabouts of her son.

The acting is superb, and although

most reviews I read focused on the

leading lady (Belen Rueda) who

dominates the show, I think the boy

steals it. He is bouncy and sinister at

the same time. I am still asking myself

how much of the film’s violence and

eeriness was because of the ghosts,

and how much was because of that

sweet but fated child? Upon reflection

I have found myself wondering why

the kid got away with so much crap

– maybe if his mother had given the

little toe-rag some severe discipline

things wouldn’t have got so creepy

to begin with! Obviously a woman

is not the only procurer of serene

family life, however I guess she

has to be when Daddy seems utterly

pointless and committed to letting the

ghosts get them. Get yourself a better

husband, fool.

The film left me with a melancholy

feeling. This was a product of its

ending, certainly – but also of a lot of

its themes. The mother is adopted and

therefore has to leave her happy home

and friends to the forces of darkness

until she returns and is forced to sort

the mess out. Her husband and child

seem peripheral to the story and

therefore to her life. There is a sense

of density in the haunting. For Adam,

the only part of the story that stuck

out seems to have been the ghosts.

Seriously. He had nightmares.

A good film I think – but I like

Pan’s Labyrinth slightly better. And

folks, I guess that’s what Jonathan

Woss would say.

HHHHP

Kerry-Anne YoungContributor

PROBLEM CHILD: Down to bad parenting or the kid being a bloody pyscho?

...but impact’s Deputy Editor is left positively Eelectrified by the Eels. EelsNew Theatre, Oxford23/03/08FOR ME, a perfect Easter Sunday was had

by spending my evening with the Eels.

They are one of my lifelong favourite

bands, and they had finally come to the UK

for an intimate non-festival performance.

The venue was Oxford’s delightful New

Theatre, a musty and timeless venue;

warm, cosy and complete with red velvet

tiered seats and ornate ceilings.

The show opened with a one-hour

documentary (previously aired by the BBC)

about the famous physicist father of Mr

E, the band’s “front man” (the Eels don’t

have a fixed lineup, but rather a continually

rotating backing band behind the ever

present founder and centrepiece, Mr E).

Hugh Everett III, Mr E’s brilliant but

troubled father, was the man who invented

the many worlds theory; otherwise known

as the idea of parallel universes. That

might not sound like much, but when you

consider that this theory has been (and

still is) the backbone of roughly 54% of

mainstream science fiction ever since (see

Doctor Who, Quantum Leap, His Dark

Materials), it is obvious how influential

this man has been on the world of quantum

physics and beyond. Mind boggling stuff.

Following the film, there was a short

break, after which we were presented with

a stage loaded with instruments. On walked

Mr E, with his trademark understated look

– thick glasses, a beard, a baseball cap and

a mechanic’s overalls. The lone artist took

the centre stage to rapturous applause and

cheers, and opened the proceedings with

some tentative solo versions including

a touching piano act of ‘It’s a Mother

F*cker’. This was followed by a typically

modest introduction – “Hi, it’s me, the

son of the world famous physicist Hugh

Everett [laughter]…happy Easter, by the

way. Sorry about the, er, lyrics on the

last number.” Mr E (or, simply, E) then

welcomed some help on stage in the form

of current fellow band member, The Chet.

The Chet was clearly skilled in a number of

musical disciplines, and exercised as many

as possible during the next few numbers,

playing the drums, bass, rhythm and lead

guitars, as well as some more weird and

kooky instruments – a saw played with a

bow, a Theremin, a sampler featuring some

backwards-sounding sting loops, and a toy

piano. With this arsenal of music-making

capability, the duo were able to extract

technically excellent performances without

hiding behind grunged-up guitars; every

note could be picked out and evaluated

by the listener, and yet the sounds never

sounded “spare” or lacking in richness

and depth.

During the performance, there were two

interludes where Mr E got The Chet to read

from E’s recently released autobiography.

As narcissistic as it sounds, particularly

after foregoing a supporting act in favour of

a documentary about him and his dad, the

readings still didn’t come off badly – it was

actually a pretty good idea, and the readings

were kept short and light-hearted, with

plenty of interruptions from E; they also

led well into the following numbers.

Of the many highlights, I particularly

enjoyed the roof-raising version of

‘Flyswatter’, during which E and Chet

actually swapped instruments – E smoothly

took over the drums from Chet without

dropping a single high-hat-tap; and then

they swapped back equally seamlessly

– just for kicks! Also excellent was long-

time favourite, ‘Novocaine for the Soul’,

which the duo melded neatly into a wholly

unexpected cover of Led Zep’s ‘Good

Times, Bad Times’ – a little nod to their

British audience.

After a plethora of songs ranging from

their oldest to newest albums, the pair said

their goodbyes and left the stage – a chance

to take in the excellence with which we had

been presented. Soon after, we were gifted

with two encores. The second encore, ‘P.S.

You Rock my World’, was possibly one

of the best live versions I have ever heard

– of any song, by any band. The song itself

is typical Eels material; mellow, faintly

biographical, and always looking up: “I

was at a funeral the day I realised I wanted

to spend my life with you”. We all knew, as

we shuffled quietly out of the theatre, that

we had witnessed something special.

If you haven’t heard of Eels, or if you

know of them but don’t know much of their

stuff, I can whole-heartedly recommend

their greatest hits album (Meet the Eels) as

a starting point.

HHHHH

Adam LuqmaniDeputy EditorECCENTRIC: Mr E being protected from the rest of his band by his bodyguard.

SingleThe KooksAlways Where I Need To BeOut NowVirgin RecordsTHE KOOKS’ massive success came

as a bit of a surprise for many. This

was demonstrated most aptly I feel by

their live set at the 2006 Leeds Festival.

The crowd were as far back as ten rows

outside the tent, and when their set

ended, at least half disappeared with

exhaustion, leaving The Rakes to play

in a half empty venue. So now we know

the extent of the buzz that The Kooks

will cause over the summer, we can

prepare for it better. The band have

even does us a favour by keeping their

brand of radio-friendly indie same for

the second time around. Jangly guitar

hook? Check. Pritchard’s testes-in-vice

whine? Check. Appropriate amount

of ‘do-do-dos’ in order to have the

song entrenched in listener’s head,

whether wanted or not? Triple check.

So congratulations, boys – you’re well

on the way to having a nation of 15-

year-olds falling at your feet. But do

the rest of us a favour and come back

with some originality next time around,

then we’ll talk.

HHPPP

Sean Lightbownents@bathimpact.com

Asleep At Heaven’s GateRogue WaveUniversalOut Now

WITHOUT KNOWING it, you will

probably have already heard Rogue

Wave’s music. The Californian quartet has

contributed their work to plenty of popular

films and television series, including

Napoleon Dynamite, Scrubs and Heroes as

well as in the Microsoft Zune advert.

So, they’re clearly onto a good thing

with the Stateside big cheeses, but what

should us lowly Bath students make of it?

Well, having greedily kept hold of Asleep

At Heaven’s Gate for aaaaages without

nothing yet to show for it, I have to say now,

in a typically subdued British fashion, that

it is, “ahem, rather good, actually.”

Opening track ‘Harmonium’ steamrolls

in with a thumping beat and a melodic

piano which aptly sets the tone for what

is yet to come. We are eased in gently,

then led up to a thundering crescendo,

displaying the breadth of Zach ‘Rogue’

and Co.’s musical vision – alternating

between soul-stirring, powerful choruses

and breezy, gentle refrains.

‘Like I Needed’ takes a slightly different

stance with slightly strange drum samples

at the beginning, then melts into yet another

deliverance of slick undulating guitar

rock, taking you out of dreary England

and straight onto sun-soaked West Coast

beaches (incidentally Rogue Wave also

appeared on the soundtrack for The OC).

However, the two essential tracks

(which still remain on repeat on my stereo)

from this album have to be ‘Chicago x 12’

and single ‘Lake Michigan’. I actually

heard ‘Chicago x 12’ quite a while ago now,

but its appeal still sticks. With rolling and

clashing drums and yet more harmonic

guitars, the song aches with yearning and

regret but still remains uplifting. The latter,

‘Lake Michigan’, has become popular in

the US through advertising and it’s easy

to see why, with its infectious upbeat

harmonies and lyrics that seem to cater

more to the rules of rhythm than to reason

(listen to them, do they actually make any

sense?).

After this point (the fourth track), the

album does seem to falter a little and

tempo is knocked down a notch or two. At

times it begins to sound a little too much

like its label companion: the ever laid

back (read: so laid back that he’s nearly

dead) Jack Johnson. Luckily, the pace

is picked up again in ‘Own Your Own

Home’ and ‘Phonytown’, with folksy,

ethereal contrasts from aptly named track

‘Fantasies’ (don’t be put off by the intro).

All in all, to conclude my description

of what constitutes ‘rather good’ in the

eyes of a Brit, ‘Asleep At Heaven’s Gate’

is a rich offering of sweet (though never

sickly) alt-American rock, and heartily

recommended to Jack Johnson fans who

pine for something a little heavier and a

lot more heartfelt.

HHHHP

Hannah RaymontContributor

WANTED: Witty drum comment.

13 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

Entertainments

Last NightMobyMuteOut Now

WHAT IS the obsession that bands and

artists have with releasing the worst track on

an album as the first single? Does anyone

else find that, or is it just me?

‘Alice’, Moby’s latest offering to the

gods of radio, is the latest in a long line of

tracks that record labels, or whoever decides

these things, have inexplicably decided the

general public want to hear and are most

likely to pay good money for, despite the

fact that they’re crap and there are thirteen

better songs to choose from. Bizarre.

‘Last Night’ is a partial return to Moby’s

New York dancefloor roots. He claims it’s

a concept album, condensing every stage

of a big night out into one record. This,

however, appears to be a euphemism for

trying to please everyone with a variety of

styles wider than he’s ever tried to cram

onto one disc before. The album, as a result,

is a mixed bag in more ways than one.

My least favourite tracks are the

aforementioned ‘Alice’ and ‘I Love To

Move In Here’, both of which represent

something new for Moby – trying to

be down with the kids by getting some

ridiculous rappers in to ‘sing’ some hip-hop

and making those silly mix noises you hear

young people listening to nowadays.

At the complete opposite end of the

spectrum, ‘Everyday It’s Like 1989’ and

‘The Stars’ are, as the title of the former

suggests, a carefree return to the glory days

of old-school rave, when dance music was

content to be good without having to worry

about being cool as well. These euphoric

tracks, with their sped-up breakbeats and

pumping diva vocals, are the first new

examples of proper piano house I’ve heard

in many a year.

In between, there’s a little bit of

something for everyone – some Moby

trademark dance/chillout crossovers; a few

slightly more Euro-disco efforts; a couple

of downbeat, moody and miserable tracks;

and, tucked away towards the arse-end

of the record, a trilogy of those mellow,

wordless melodies that sneak onto every

Moby album and whose names you can

never remember.

In sum, ‘Last Night’ is a good album

but not a great one. In trying to appeal to

a wider audience, Moby spreads himself

a little too thinly and comes across as a

Jack of all trades but master of none. And

anybody whose press releases include

words like “demimonde”, “motorvational”,

“chimescape” and “beautific” (three of

which have got red squiggly lines under

them on my screen) certainly doesn’t

deserve more than three stars.

HHHPP

Jack Mitchelleditor@bathimpact.com

MOBY: ‘Howard from Halifax’ years.

Smooth OperatorsYes Yes VindictiveOperator PleaseBrille RecordsOut Now

BILLED AS rivals to CSS for the best

band to have at a party, I was quite happy

when ‘Yes Yes Vindictive’, the debut LP of

Aussie five-piece ‘Operator Please’, came

through the impact mailbox. So that was that - armed with this pitiful amount

of information, I stuck said record into the

CD drive, plugged in the earphones and sat

back, expecting to be aurally charmed by a

wave of sexy grooves and dirty beats.

Yet it was clear by the initial wail of

drums and hums in opening track ‘Zero

Zero’ that the tale of how a band from

the other side of the world can come to

dominate these shores is far from the same

as the Brazlians’. Instead, there are a whole

host of influences on ‘Yes Yes Vindictive’

– ‘Zero Zero’ setting out like a Klaxons/

Arctic Monkeys hybrid – which come

together to create a record which is at its

best a 300mph, blast of teen energy.

After a fairly tight opening two songs,

leaving the slightly Billy Talent-esque

scream of singer Amandah Wilkinson to

do the majority of the work, the album

explodes on ‘Just A Song About Ping

Pong’. A two-minute foot stomping

mosh pit’s dream, with drummer Tim

Commandeur smashing his kit like his life

is depending on it. These kids may still

have the luxury of the affix ‘teen’ at the

end of their age, but they certainly mean

business when it comes to hitting things

really hard and making loud noises.

Which is why it is so disappointing that,

after the euphoric opening, the middle

section is a rather downbeat affair. Imagine

scoring a thirty yard overhead kick, getting

up to celebrate and then seeing it has been

disallowed. It all rather spoils the air of

excitement. ‘Two For My Seconds’, is a

particular offender, with a piano jaunt that

wouldn’t sound out of place as a theme

tune for some daytime TV soap. Even

‘Terminal Disease’, while dotted with bits

of ‘Yeah Yeah Yeahs’-inspired genius, is

ruined by some ridiculous homage to horror

film soundtracks. Just no.

But you can’t make mistakes when

you’re young when can you? Thankfully,

the latter part of the album drags us back

up from this murky pit of despair to a

far happier, messier and fun-filled place.

‘Ghost’ begins with an organ taken straight

from ‘Let’s Push Things Forward’ by ‘The

Streets’, yet develops into a cracking bit of

punk-pop. ‘Chest’ makes full use of Taylor

Henderson’s luscious violin playing, and

can be considered an album highlight.

The most promising aspect for me,

however, is album closer ‘Pantomime’,

which shows that despite the middle

section, ‘Operator Please’ can operate

at a less frenetic pace than most. A

delightful four and a half minute tug at

the heartstrings, with a sweet acoustic

guitar and soaring violin, building into an

epic crescendo, leaving Amandah only

to say ‘Hey Ma, face right, so I can be a

pantomime.’

So, would I want this band at my party?

Well, where as CSS may have you scoping

the floor and shaking your bootay like the

sexiest person alive, Operator Please, at

their best, will be in the in the living room

ripping up the couch, throwing the TV on

the window and screaming without a care in

the universe. The only question remaining

is, can they take their teenage energy and

hold on to it to produce greater records as

they grow older? It’s a big world out there,

and on the evidence of parts of ‘Yes Yes

Vindictive’, it’s theirs if they want it.

HHHPP

Sean Lightbownents@bathimpact.com

HELLO OPERATOR: Little known fact: Taylor (centre) is actually a puppet.

Do It!ClinicDominoOut 8/4/08

USUALLY, REVIEWING an album

for impact is quite a routine process: give it a spin, and you can immediately

tell what its strengths and weaknesses are

straight away. Make a few notes, write it

up afterwards (whilst keeping a thesaurus

handy so you don’t write ‘song’ every other

word) and send it in. Sometimes though

an album arrives that completely destroys

this process.

Clinic’s latest offer, ‘Do It!’ has given

me no end of grief but it’s been well worth

the bother, as I shall explain in due course.

I should have seen it coming when writing

about people who perform live shows

dressed in surgeon’s scrubs, and who have

been inspired by a group with the charming

name ‘Suicide’. Apparently they’re

wonderful people in the flesh, mind.

‘Do It!’ is a continuation of their general

work, in creating a series of songs steeped in

psychedelica but with a hefty dose of garage-

rock thrown in. The riffs are minimalist but

loud, and the chords discordant to create an

atmospheric, dream-like mood. Eeriness

is the key, with ‘Corpus Christi’ urging the

listener to ‘skin yourself’ over soft moans.

After the first listen – the one that is

by and large sufficient to write a review

with – I was not too impressed for the

first half. Whilst certainly distinctive and

intriguing, the rhythms were too plodding

and repetitive to invoke any real excitement.

The lyrics, sung in soft tones by Brian

Campbell, felt too obtuse to arouse fear.

Towards the end I noticed more of the

album’s quirks as they revealed themselves.

There is no such thing as a standard intro on

this collection: ‘Emotions’ starts off with

noises emanating from a wave machine

oscillating before descending into a swing-

beat and an off-key guitar solo, making

it sound like a pop song composed by

a madman. ‘High Coin’ kicks off with

a military drum beat which permeates

throughout. The wide range of instruments

and noises emerge, which reach a zenith as

‘Mary and Eddie’ features – and I cannot

believe I am writing this – a ship’s foghorn

in the song mix.

I felt confused, which is probably how

one is meant to feel after listening to one

of Clinic’s albums I suspect. So instead of

writing up immediately, I gave it twenty-

four hours and a second listen before

penning this review, damn their weird

ways. It was well worth the wait - on the

second listen I got carried away in the

ramshackle bop of the opener ‘Memories’;

psyched up through the awesome riffs

which characterise their latest single, ‘The

Witch’; and appreciated the novel Alt.

Rock of ‘Free Not Free’, the latter featuring

an original display of instruments.

As you might have guessed long ago,

‘Do It!’ is an album that requires a fair bit of

patience before really becoming engrossed

in it. Give it time, however, and you’ll be

rewarded with a collection of music which

is steeped in an eclectic ambience and a

truly original approach to modern music

composition.

HHHHP

Matthew HartfieldDeputy News Editor

CLINIC-AL: Though I doubt Sir Paul would appreciate the take on Sgt. Pepper...

Clinic Are ClinicalYou Cross My PathThe CharlatansCooking VinylOut Now

THE CHANCES are that at some point in

your life, you’ve watched ‘One Man and

His Dog.’ For those of you who haven’t,

the basic premise is that it’s a television

programme that shows sheepdog trials.

It’s gained a bit of a cult following in this

country and has been running for over thirty

years. The point here is that if you’re a fan

of the show, you’re always going to be and

if you’re not, the show sticks to the same

basic blueprint, so you probably never will

be a regular viewer.

All of which neatly leads us on to the

new album by The Charlatans. Since the

late 80s, they’ve been part of the alternative

landscape, never changing their tried-and-

tested formula. For this, their tenth studio

album, they’ve decided to release it as a free

download via the XFM website, which is

bordering on interesting, until you realise

you can probably get ‘One Man and His

Dog’ via BBC iPlayer these days anyway.

‘You Cross My Path’ sounds exactly

as you’d expect a Charlatans album to

sound. The Charlatans’ calling cards are all

present; multi-layered guitars, robust bass,

thumping drums, swirling keyboards and

the nasal whine of lead singer Tim Burgess.

It limps into life with current single, ‘Oh!

Vanity’, which never threatens to get out

of second gear. The dullness of the song is

complimented perfectly by Burgess’ awful

lyrics (“Now I’m all grown up to be/A

paranoid schizophrenique”), thus setting

the tone for the rest of the album.

The album remains at the same volume

throughout, with no hint of a change of pace

or direction, meaning that the subtleties of

some of the more listenable moments are

lost. The only genuinely exciting song is

the title track, which is propelled by a spiky

guitar riff, but Burgess does his best to ruin

it with the worst lyrical display of the lot

(“I am the sound of Iraq/I am the sound of

the Red Sea”).

It’s best to make sure ‘You Cross My

Path’ doesn’t cross your path. However,

if you’re a fan of the band, this album is

undeniably Charlatan-esque (or should that

be ‘Charlatonian?’) and you’ll probably

enjoy it regardless. Since you’ve then saved

a few quid on downloading it for free, why

not go and treat yourself? If you liked this

album, you could always buy ‘Thirty Years

of One Man and His Dog’ on DVD; you’d

probably like that too.

HPPPP

Joe RiversContributorCHARLATANS: Don’t cross their path.

14 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

SYMPOSIUM: so far... Arts, Spatialisation and MemorySaturday 19 April, 10am-5pmUniversity of BathTickets: £15 BUSU (includes coffee and lunch)

Choral Society and Orchestra Concerto ConcertWednesday 16 April, 7.30pmOldfield Baptist Church, BathTickets: £5, £3 concessions

Performance: Polly Gould Libraries and Landscapes: Or what is that I have lost?Saturday 19 April, 7.30pmICIA Arts TheatreTickets: £9, £7 concessions, £7 University staff, £3 BUSU

Throwing on the WheelSaturday 12, Sunday 13 & Saturday 19 April, 10am-4pmStudio 2, ICIA Arts Complex£80, £60 concessions, £60 University staff, £35 BUSU

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 15

Arts

Watch This Space!SPACE IS a central concern for a

broad range of contemporary arts

practitioners, and spans many other

disciplines, including Geography,

Urban Studies, Sociology, Architecture

and Literary Studies. Spatialisation is a

useful term at a point when time/space

compression and globalisation, brought

about by new technologies and high

speed travel, affect life – including its

cultural output – more than ever. It

implies a ‘doing’, a process of enquiry,

orientations in time/space. It carries

intimations of temporality, implying

a relationship to memory – pasts and

presents.

The Symposium draws upon Doreen

Massey’s third definition of space:

“…we recognise space as always

under construction. Precisely because

space on this reading is a product of

relations-between, relations which

are necessarily embedded material

practices which have to be carried out, it

is always in the process of being made.

It is never finished; never closed.

Perhaps we could imagine space as a

simultaneity of stories-so-far.” (2005)

This event is of interest to

practitioners, academics and students

from visual arts, music, theatre, dance,

cultural studies, architecture, cultural

geography and literature.

Devised in partnership with Dr Jane

Calow, artist, writer and Teaching

Fellow.

Chair: Dr Daniel Hinchcliffe.

Speakers include: Dr Anna Fenemore,

Pigeon Theatre & University of Leeds;

Tim Brennan, Artist & University

of Sunderland; Dr Peg Rawes, The

Bartlett, UCL.

Associated Symposium Events on

Saturday 19 April: Tim Brennan’s

Exhibition Preview (5-6.30pm), Polly

Gould’s Exhibition Preview (5-6.30pm)

and Polly Gould’s performance:

Libraries and Landscape: Or what is it

that I have lost? (7.30pm, ticket included

in Symposium fee).

POLLY GOULD’S engaging, intimate

piece considers the im/possibility of

finding a lost loved person through the

reading of their inherited library. It

is about searching for someone in the

things that they leave behind.

The audience is invited to sort through

her father’s books, boxes of old photos,

old letters, fragments of type-written text,

clippings from newspapers, binoculars,

scissors and tape cassettes, as she takes

on the task of mapping the past. Her

recollections of walking and talking

with her father in the fens show how

orienting ourselves in the past can be like

finding ourselves in a landscape. Time

and memory play tricks: what seems

present is absent, what seems close is

distant, sound becomes image and vice

versa, in the never ending process of

looking at the past.

Polly’s performance reveals her

fascination with the relationship between

performer, audience and setting, and

our desire for stories, both to tell and

be told.

Associated Event: Polly Gould

Exhibition: Peninsular, 1 March-20

June, ICIA Art Space 1.

Rummaging for Reminiscences

THIS ORIGINAL and inventive show

uses a range of choreographic styles

to explore the infamous seven deadly

sins (SALIGIA is an old mnemonic

based on the first letters in Latin of

the seven deadly sins). Produced by

students from the University of Bath’s

effervescent dance society, it features

a variety of performances from guest

societies, including the Breakdancers,

the Cheerleaders, Latin and Ballroom

and the Salsa Society.

THIS INTENSIVE small group

workshop enables participants to

focus on throwing pots, with close

tutoring as required. On day one,

beginners learn how to throw, whilst

those with experience can develop

their skills. On day two, ‘turn’ your

newly made work. More ambitious

students can try combining forms to

make composite pieces. Return the

next week to glaze the fired pieces.

Participants must take part in all three

days. Tutor: Sue Ford.

THE FLOURISHING University

Orchestra accompany the ever popular

choral society in a series of well known

pieces. The Orchestra also makes

its annual presentation supporting

talented soloists in this year’s concerto

performance.

BODYSOC: SALIGIA: Seven SinsWednesday 9 - Saturday 12 April, 7.30pmICIA Arts TheatreTickets: £7, £5 concessions

The Best of the Rest

THE COLLECTION is a trim, witty

but unsettling vignette portraying a

household wobbling with a tremor of

IN RESPONSE to ICIA’s ‘so far…’

theme, this atmospheric series of

photographs explores how geography,

personal memory and social history

intersect. In the tradition of the

seascape, the images depict the

North Sea, where most of the North’s

un-mined coal still resides. The

photographs have been created using

image-making equipment available

to all of us in everyday life; the low-

resolution mobile phone camera.

Enlarged beyond clear definition, the

images become hazy, impressionistic,

glowing with colour. Printed on a

Bath University Student Theatre: A double bill of One Act PlaysThe Collection, by Harold Pinter; and Sexual Perversity in Chicago, by David MametThursday 17 - Saturday 19 April, 7.30pmLittle Theatre Cinema, BathTickets: £7, £5 concessions and members

adultery. As two couples fall victim to

suspicions and jealousy, what happened

one night in a Leeds hotel room becomes

irrelevant, except that it triggers a search

for the truth.

Meanwhile, Sexual Perversity in

Chicago is a controversial, provocative

and bitingly funny comedy centring

around four young people looking for

love. Chicago is a hotbed of opportunity

for two red-blooded males playing the

mating and dating game, prepared to go

anywhere where there are women.

Contains strong language.

Double BUST at the Little

Exhibition: Tim Brennan Great Northern CoalfieldSaturday 19 April - Friday 1 AugustICIA Art Space 2Tickets: £9, £7 concessions, £7 University staff, £3 BUSU

surface that appears to be watercolour

paper, they seem to suggest the more

abstract works of Turner.

Tim Brennan is viewed as one of

the most important practitioners to

contribute to the social and political

role of contemporary art and has been

cited as developing and applying the

concerns of minimalism, performance,

land art and conceptualism within

the social fabric. He is Programme

Leader, MA Curating at the University

of Sunderland.

Associated Event: Tim Brennan

makes a presentation at ICIA’s

Symposium: so far..., Saturday 19

April.

Exhibition Preview, Saturday 19

April, 5pm-6.30pm, ICIA Art Space

2, All welcome.

Admission free, Open Monday-

Saturday, 10am-5pm, ICIA Art Space

1 (opposite library).

16 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 17

18 IMPACT MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008

Sport

ENTERING INTO only their second

ever appearance in the second round of

the play-offs it had already been a record

breaking season for this year’s Bees, going

the regular season undefeated and beating

the reigning national champions, the UWE

Bullets home and away.

Thus it was with confidence that Bath

travelled to Southampton on the weekend

of March 9th to face the equally unbeaten

Southampton Stags in the second round of

the play-offs, mindful that Southampton

had broken the points scoring record in the

regular season, amassing 462 points in eight

games, whilst conceding only 20.

However, as Robert Burns and John

Steinbeck famously wrote, the best laid

plans of mice and men go oft awry. Bath

came away tasting defeat, as in increasingly

frustrating fashion during the game they

came so close to scoring on so many

occasions whilst Southampton were able

to take their chances converting their long

drives into scores.

Southampton won the toss and elected

to kick off, meaning Bath would have the

first attacking possession. Against a team of

Southampton’s ability it was imperative that

Bath imposed themselves early. After a few

runs had been stopped for minimal gains

TeamBath FC Lose Seven Goal Thriller

ON A balmy spring evening in the New

Forest play-off contenders Bashley and

title hopefuls TeamBath collided in a

crucial game, with each hoping that it

would act as a springboard for a good run

in the remaining league fixtures.

The match started tentatively, but really

sprung into life in the 12th minute, as a

defensive mix-up allowed the home side to

take the lead. A long ball saw centre back

Ollie Barnes look for the back pass towards

his own keeper Jake Meredith, unaware

that Meredith had rushed to the edge of the

area to claim the ball himself. As the ball

rolled helplessly towards the goal, Bashley

striker Richard Gillespie amusingly tapped

home for his first of the evening.

The lead was short lived as right back

Adi Adams, who had previously spent

time on loan at Bashley, waltzed in from

the right side unchallenged, and was given

the time and space to unleash a left footed

strike into the bottom corner of the net.

Bees Taste Defeat for First Time

quarterback Matt Brookes connected with

his receiver Steve Leonard and Leonard did

the rest, outpacing two onrushing defenders

to score from 66 yards. Kicker Dalmedo

made the extra point, putting his nightmare

kicks of the previous week to rest.

Buoyed by the early score Bath’s defence

stepped up and they forced Southampton

to punt the ball away on their first

possession. Were it not for an interception

by Southampton’s Nicky Cole (Joe Cole’s

younger brother) near the end zone they

would irrefutably have doubled their lead.

The scores were tied, however, as

Ben Webb fortuitously caught a pass

from the Southampton quarterback. As

the pass came into the end zone, three

Bath defenders rose in competition with

another Southampton receiver before the

ball deflected over to the waiting Webb.

The final scoring act of the half was from

Southampton as receiver Dominic Olney

narrowly beat the outstretched arms of Luke

Haslett to complete the catch. Following

the extra point, the half time score was 14-7

against Bath.

As the game wore on and injuries took

their toll Southampton stretched their lead

in the second half. Some more than solid

defensive play from Bath helped turn

the ball over through interceptions from

Marcus Da Costa, a very strong candidate

for season MVP, and rookie Richard

Shuttleworth, who took a brutal hit as he

sought to advance the ball.

Bath did manage another score and it

came on the ground from the head-down

powerful running of another rookie player,

Anders Bengtson, as he muscled his way

in from four yards. It capped a great drive

from Bath’s point of view, as they started

deep in their own half after a kick return

was fumbled.

It’s a cliche to call players ‘difference

makers’, although in running back Tam

Amachree Southampton had one. Pace,

change of direction and strength, the

lad had it all in abundance and gave

Bath a torrid time all game. Bath’s core

linebackers of Dewar, Bell, Shuttleworth,

Goodfriend and Johnstone were made

to work for their tackles, and they were

assisted by rookie safety, Chris Gammond.

Amachree ultimately ended up with two

touchdowns, the second from 49 yards

out to seal the game near fulltime, as he

ghosted past defenders, assisted by the

blocking of his offensive line.

It was a feature of Bath’s play throughout

the game that, rather than rely on big plays

to make yards, they methodically moved

the ball through well planned and executed

plays. Before leaving the game injured,

quarterback Brookes completed 14 of 25

passes for 205 yards with 1 Touchdown,

whilst receiver Steve Leonard had hauled

in 7 receptions for a total of 139 yards and

1 Touchdown, career performances for

both players.

Although Bath lost the game there were

plenty of positives to take from the season

and indeed this game, as Bath restricted

the eventual champions to their lowest

home score of the season before they

demolished Staffordshire Stallions in the

final by a sore of 54-20. The game was

played in great spirit on a fantastic facility,

clearly displayed by the unprecedented

joint warm down the teams undertook

after the game.

IT WAS an amazing team event with

the men’s and women’s 1st teams both

playing the semi-finals on the Saturday,

and not letting the very hot hall get to them,

achieving comfortable victories over

Birmingham and Cambridge respectively

to progress to the championship final

the following day. (Most of) the players

were well awake for a 7am start on the

Sunday given the potential excitement

of the day ahead. News came in that the

team was set in stone as Ben Caldwell

came down with a very bad bout of food

poisoning overnight leaving the men with

no subs. An early match saw the Men’s

2nd team meet Birmingham 2nds in the

Trophy Final.

Danny Capon and Andy Kindred in

the singles both performed fantastically

giving Bath a 2-0 lead. Martin ‘Pirate’

Crossley and Steve ‘Sailor’ Price didn’t

take long to demolish their opponents to

put the team up, and David Dodson and

Tim Goode managed to pick themselves

up after losing a tight second end to take

the third against the Birmingham first pair

to give Bath a perfect score at halfway.

Needing just one game from the

remaining four to ensure victory it didn’t

take long for Danny to take his singles

and put the defending title holders 5-0

up and Andy Kindred soon followed suit.

David and Tim took their final game in

two ends and although Martin and Steve

could not take a very close fought third

end versus the 1st pair the win was already

well in the bag.

The afternoon’s matches pitted

both first teams against bitter rivals

Loughborough. Rivalry was high

with plenty of banter coming from the

Loughborough bench but Men’s singles

Richard Vaughan and Harry Wright both

gave Bath something to shout about with

straight wins over their singles opponents

to put the men 2-0 up.

A very close women’s singles between

Badminton ChampionsTim Goode Helen Ward and her respective opponent

was finished in style in favour of Bath but

a strong Loughborough 1st singles beat

Kirby to level the score at 1-1. The men’s

doubles was tight with lots of disputed

line calls and frustration from both sides;

Loughborough eventually taking both to

draw 2-2. The Women’s doubles was

routine for Hayley Connor and Laura

Cousins who beat the Loughborough 2nd

pair 21-7, 21-5; Alison Marr and Sarah

Boyce fought hard against the 1st pair but

the Loughborough pair’s hard smashes

won through making the women’s score

2-2 also.

Unsurprisingly World No. 39 Richard

Vaughan and BUSA individuals

champion Harry Wright picked up

both their second singles with ease,

however, Wardy and Kirby could not

win their tough games. The final two

men’s doubles were again very close;

Ben Witham and Adam Francis losing

in two to the second pair and after losing

a long-fought 1st end George Bevan and

Jack Molyneux were unable to convert a

20-18 lead in the 2nd.

With the men’s score tied at 4 games

and 8 sets all, it went down to points, the

strength of the singles giving the men’s

team the title victory. The final women’s

games were tense with Bath needing two

wins out of two without losing more than

one end. Hayley and Laura dismissed the

1st pair and the support of the entire hall

was on the end court. An emotion-packed

game was finally ended with Boyce and

Scotland the victors and a clean sweep

to Bath.

Congratulations to everyone who

played this year and a special thanks to

Pete Bush who has put so many hours

into the team and to Wardy who has not

only organised much of the trip but has

also taken time to coach the men’s and

women’s 2nd teams.

Special credit to Ben Caldwell who

helped get the team to the finals but could

not the final play due to illness.

Intramural Festival ‘08WINNERS!: Ladies’ Team.

WEDNESDAY APRIL 23rd sees the first

annual Intramurals Festival, hosted in the

facilities of the STV.

Competitions ranging from indoor

events such as futsal (five a side football)

and badminton will run alongside outdoor

events including track and field events,

with personal glory as well as House

Points at stake.

Following on from the afternoon’s

competitions is a House-themed Score to

celebrate ‘famous’ victories/commiserate

just how bad you were* (*delete as

applicable).

More information including how to

sign up will be posted on the Sports

Association’s website, located at www.

bathstudent.com/sports.

Bashley 4TeamBath 3

Greg Mitchell

Bashley looked the brighter side early in

the second half, and had a stonewall penalty

claim turned down after the ball definitely

struck a defender’s hand with just a minute

gone. No more than a minute later, a

perfectly weighted ball from substitute

Justin Keeler released Gillespie to score

his second of the game with a clinical strike

into the far corner.

After TeamBath pushed on looking for

an equaliser, it was actually Bashley who

scored next, with the influential Keeler

again finding Gillespie, who provided a

slide-rule pass across the six yard box for

strike partner Ryan Moss to tap home.

Bath continued pushing forward in

search of a way back into the game, and

had a Marc Canham free kick well saved

by Elm in the Bashley goal. From the

resulting corner, a flick on in the area

managed to find Joe Arnold at the back

post, who put the ball in the net from close

range.

With both teams in search of more goals,

the game became very open and stretched,

with opportunities arising for both teams.

After a corner was initially cleared by Bath,

Chris Ferrett was given the time to float in

a left footed cross to find Gillespie, who

glanced the ball beyond the despairing dive

of Meredith to complete his hat-trick.

Bath refused to lie down, and their

persistence was rewarded just two minutes

later as a poor clearance from Elm gave the

ball to Arnold, who released a stunning

strike from fully 30 yards, giving the keeper

no chance.

Substitute Takumi Ake saw his close

range effort somehow kept out by the

resolute home defence, and at the other

end both Moss and Gillespie spurned

good chances to bury the game. Deep into

injury time Bath were awarded a free kick

in the Bashley half, which was taken short

to Arnold, who proceeded to hit a rasping

drive which clipped the crossbar and

bounced out of play, thus ending Bath’s

chances of salvaging a point.

Bashley will no doubt be very pleased

with the result, which, on another day,

could so easily have gone the other way.

The result leaves Bashley cemented in

the final playoff birth, while TeamBath

remain second. This weekend’s fixture

for Bath is a crucial one, with an away trip

to fellow title contenders Kings Lynn, who

lie a mere one point behind Bath in the race

for the crown.

to delay the race at the first checkpoint,

deeming the cliffs too dangerous.

The runners waited until 5.30am

the following morning, when it was

clear enough for them to continue on

the shorter 80km course which Tim

completed in 8 hours and 57 minutes.

“I won by about 45 minutes but my

legs were absolutely wrecked from

the major hills in the middle of the

course. I actually felt worse than at

the end last year, even though it was

shorter,” said Tim, a graduate teaching

fellow who works in the Centre for

Orthopaedic Biomechanics, part of

University’s Department of Mechanical

Engineering.

“But a win’s a win, so I’m very happy

with the result.”

Lisa Thomas

Jurassic Challenge

Continued from back cover...

What are you hoping for in the 2010

Commonwealth Games?

Definitely going for gold, as we

always do. We’ve got a new coach, but I

haven’t actually met her yet ! We’re just

waiting to see what she’s like; she’s not

even in the country yet but we meet up

just before the Malawi Test Series.

What has been your motivation

throughout your sporting career?

Just the drive to succeed and be the

best in everything I do. I want to give

it 100% and I enjoy netball so much so

as long as I’m having fun it makes me

want to get up every morning and go

training at 7am!

Who’s the best player you have ever

played with or against?

Um, Mo’onia Gerrard, the Australian

Goal Defence. I think she’s amazing.

Oh and the Malawi Goal attack! She’s

about 40 and has two kids and her vision

and game play is amazing.

In terms of interviews, fan attention

and media coverage, how do you

handle the limelight?

In terms of media coverage… it’s

quite fun at the moment! I don’t

have paparazzi following me round

everywhere all the time or anything! But

it’s good coverage for netball.

What do you do to relax?

Well, at the moment I’m doing my

degree as well, so time is a bit limited!

I just like to watch films, hang out with

my friends and go shopping.

It’s the year 2020 and you’ve won

every trophy on the planet and they’re

making Pamela Cookey: The Movie.

Who would you like to play you?

Um, it’s a toss up between Halle Berry

and Beyonce!!

Would you ever consider appearing

on Strictly Come Dancing?

We were chatting about this the other

day! Love to! That should be my next

target. (Laughs)

Who would you most like to be stuck

in a lift with?

Probably Mohammed Ali, to find

out how he overcame everything and

managed to succeed; and Denise Lewis,

she’s been my idol since I was about

five!

What would you say is your best

attribute?

I smile a lot! It kind of keeps me

going! (impact has been smiling throughout this interview, so it must be

catching!)

Would you rather be a pirate or a

cowboy?

I’m not sure, because pirates have to

be at sea all the time and I’m not sure

how good I’d be on a boat! But horse

riding… hmm. Probably a cowboy,

they’re the good guys.

Since this interview, TeamBath

slipped down to a narrow loss to finalists

Mavericks, being on the wrong end

of a 50-37 scoreline, despite Cookey’s

contribution of 25 out of 29 shots.

In some respects it was a great

performance, as the side were reduced

to only 10 of their 15 squad because of

injury, and head coach Jan Crabtree

revealed her disappointment after the

game.

“I still thought we could win it. We

had one injury too many today. If we

could have got through today’s game we

would have had some more players back

from injury for the next game”.

Bath 2nd XI Win BUSA Trophy

TeamBath Judo Excel at BUSA Championships

THE UNIVERSITY of Bath Cheerleading

Society celebrated success this Easter

Weekend, bringing home two trophies

from the British Cheerleading Association

University Championships.

Held at Telford International Centre on

the 22nd March, this year was the biggest

university competition ever held. Spectator

tickets were sold out and the 2600 capacity

venue was full to the brim with girls and

guys sporting uniforms from 46 different

universities. With the competition split

into various divisions, a total of 98 teams

performed throughout the day, showcasing

routines consisting of jumps, tumbles, dance

and some very impressive pyramids.

THE BATH University Shooting Club

recently packed over 2000 cartridges and

nine shotguns into a minibus and travelled

to windy Hodnet in the West Midlands to

finally compete in the BUSA Clay Pigeon

Shooting Nationals. They withstood cold,

wind, a tiny bit of rain and a shady looking

Travelodge to achieve some very worthy

results.

In the Men’s Team Championship

category, our first team, consisting of

Captain Sean Russell, Eddy Hirst, Tom

Baker and Daniel Stephens, managed an

impressive 6th place out of 22 teams, with

a score of 181 to beat local rivals Bristol by

a comfortable margin of 23 points.

Eric Griffiths, Peter Elliot, James Merrick

and Olly Griffin formed our Men’s Trophy

entry and together they shot against a huge

29 teams to get a combined score of 149 and

come 20th. Great shooting from the boys.

The girls did not let Bath down either

- brilliant performances from Sarah Bell

and Katrina Packer bagged Bath some

more BUSA points in the Ladies’ Trophy

individual category after they came joint

third.

Lisa Thomas showed the boys how it was

done, gaining a score of 45 out of 50 points

to come first in the Ladies’ Championship

individuals, thus winning the shiny gold

medal that accompanies a first place.

The club hopes to continue practising

and improve upon their competitive form

at a number of friendly competitions after

Easter.

BUSA Clay Pigeon Shooting

Two Trophies for Bath Cheerleaders

Bath entered two teams, one of 21 girls

into novice cheer, and another of 12 into

medium dance, with every member of

both teams giving it their absolute all.

Despite it being most of the girls’ first ever

competition, they were unfazed by the

crazy atmosphere and massive amounts

of hairspray and showed great team spirit

and enthusiasm.

For the first time this year, the

cheerleading society has begun stunting;

the squad had been training hard since

February to put together their routine. As

they are a society, and therefore ineligible

for training space on campus, the squad of

21 gave up their Monday nights out in the

2nd Bridge to trek to the Percy Community

Centre in town and practice. After weeks

of training, an intensive three days in

the Easter holidays and a quick stop in

Sainsbury’s to clear the shelves of white

socks and deep heat, the girls were on their

Ruth Farmer

way to Telford.

Going in as rookies in their division, they

were up against stiff competition from far

more experienced teams. In spite of this,

they overcame their nerves and pulled off a

fantastic performance, in which not a single

stunt fell down, and some awesome cheer

facials were pulled. Out of 11 teams, they

finished in 2nd place, an amazing result for

their first competition.

Having trained equally hard since

February, with scheduled practises two or

three times a week, the dance team also did

the university proud. Up against 11 other

dance squads in a high standard division,

the originality of their futuristic routine

impressed the judges and landed them a

trophy for 8th place.

All in all, it was an incredibly successful

day, and the overall outcome was two big

shiny trophies, and a group of 33 very tired,

achy, but ecstatic cheerleaders!

TIM HOLSGROVE, a researcher from

the University of Bath, has completed

three gruelling marathons along the

Dorset coastline in 24 hours to win the

Jurassic Coast Challenge title for the

second time, despite severe weather.

The favourite for this year’s Jurassic

Coast Challenge, a training event for

ultra runners, Holsgrove was tasked

with running 78.6 miles from Lyme

Regis to Studland Bay in less than 24

hours.

Last year, Tim, nicknamed ‘The

Machine’, navigated the arduous South

West coast path and arrived at the finish

with a winning time of 16 hours and 12

minutes.

This year, a Met Office severe

weather warning forced the organisers

BATH RECORDED an outstanding 5-0

victory over fellow West Country side

Plymouth to win the final of football’s

BUSA Trophy in Sheffield. Bath had

the better of a tight first half but failed

to put away their chances until Paul

Simmons scored with just minutes to go

until half time.

Bath deserved the lead and soon after

the restart Simmons got his and Bath’s

second of the match. Bath were well in

control of the game and continued to

create chances, resulting in Ian Parkes

making absolutely sure the game was

out of Plymouth’s reach with Bath’s

third goal.

Substitute Will Tetteh grabbed a brace

after coming on as a sub, combining

well with Lyson Zulu to ensure that

Bath gained revenge for the defeat

Plymouth inflicted on them earlier in

the season. The emphatic final score,

and the manner in which every Bath

player performed for the entire ninety

minutes, meant that this was a victory

they deserve to cherish.

TEAMBATH PRODUCED an

outstanding performance at the BUSAs

in Sheffield, winning a record haul of

medals. The entire 33-person team had a

win/loss ratio of 178-34, and managed to

win ten of the fourteen individual black

belt categories.

In the team events, they were victorious

in the team competitions for men and

women, each of whom won their sixth title

at the BUSAs. Players from the University

of Bath contributed the entire squad of

players for the South West Universities

teams in the Regional competition.

They were not disappointed, with the

men’s and women’s sides earning great

victories to bring both trophies home

to Bath. Overall, this was a superb and

record breaking performance from the

entire squad, and it could have been even

better; first-year Sports Performance

student Emil Edmar finished third in the

U90k black belt category after beating

the eventual winner in his first fight of

the day.

MONDAY 7TH APRIL 2008 IMPACT 19Sport

sportimpact

Covering the issues that matter to students BUSA Badminton: 18

Pictured above are Chris Mundell (top) and John Wardle, competing for the University of Bath in the 14th BUSA Mountain Biking Championships last month. 500 competitors swarmed on Cwmcarn in South Wales for the event.

TeamBath and England Netball Star in Interview

American Football: 18 TeamBath FC: 18 Judo: 19

PHOTOS: Oke Ogali (www.kchuk.co.uk)

Bath Leads the Way in BUSA ChampionshipsEASTER SAW the inaugural British

University Championships, which took

place in the steel city of Sheffield over

the weekend of the 13th to the 16th of

March. Lord Coe was in attendance and

quick to praise the standard of university

sport, commenting that “our universities

have a rich tradition for producing some

of the country’s finest athletes.”

Bath displayed exactly why it is

regarded as one of the country’s premiere

sporting institutions, performing

magnificently over the weekend.

Indoor athletics was dominated by

the Bath team as Dan Cossins won

the 200 metres in record-breaking

Championship time in addition to his

4X200m gold. Ryan Scott was equally

successful, combining relay gold with

victory in the 60 metres sprint.

The men’s hockey 1sts faced an

unbelievably strong Loughborough

side packed full of internationals and

were defeated 7-1, whilst in Karate

the Bath side triumphed in the Kumite

team event.

It was a fantastic night for

Bath’s netball team as they taught

Loughborough a lesson in the 1sts

final, winning 66-46. Clinical finishing

and crisp passing in attack meant that

Loughborough were never in with a

shout.

In a category dominated this year by

Birmingham, the only medal for a Bath

side was awarded to the women’s 2nds,

who lost the final to Birmingham 3-1.

Swimming brought the team

unbelievable success, as they dominated

most of the events with a practical clean

sweep of the medals, only two medals

in the women’s freestyle events going

to other universities.

THE THIRD National Netball Super

League Season is underway and nearing

its peak, with the Loughborough Lightning

and Mavericks having done battle in the

Grand Final since impact last went to print. It was a nerve-racking season with

all eight teams intensely battling to secure

themselves a place in the play-offs.

The reigning champions TeamBath

defeated Celtic Dragons (60-35) in late

February to ensure Bath a place in the play-

offs. The build-up for the next few crucial

weeks is noticeable during training sessions

as the girls keep it steady on court.

This week in the lead up to the play-offs

we caught up with captain Pamela Cookey,

an accomplished England and TeamBath

Netball player. Pamela is a final year

Business Administration student at the

University of Bath and her position on court

is Goal Attack and Goal Shooter. Well-

known for her outstanding shooting record

and laudable game skills, Pamela is also

chatty, smiley and incredibly likeable.

Could you tell us a bit about when and

how you first got into netball?

I first started playing when I was in

Year Six or Seven, so quite young really,

but I didn’t get really interested in it until

I got to secondary school. I was always

doing a range of different sports, but really

specialised in netball as I got older.

I was lucky because one of my teachers

used to be an England netball player, so at

one of our school competitions she got a

scout to come and watch our games and

from there I got trials for England under

17s and 18s.

What do you like best about netball?

The fact that it’s a team game, I get to

meet loads of different people and you’re

working for each other.

What are your thoughts on the team’s

performance in this Super League

season so far?

Really good, I think. In terms of the

disruptions we’ve had and the injuries and

people retiring, it’s been really good – we’re

up there and ready to win it.

What skills do you need to be a good

shooter?

(Laughs.) You kind of practise, practise,

practise, really! I think deep down everyone

wants to be a shooter. You just have to keep

practising.

Going back to February, we saw

TeamBath experience defeat in the two

crucial clashes against Northumbria

and the Loughborough Lightning.

How did you and the other players deal

with that?

We were really disappointed on the

Monday game, we felt we didn’t play as

well as we should have done and to lose by

two points... I mean we had it in us to win.

On Friday we stepped up and our game

definitely improved. But again, on the day

we just couldn’t hold on to it. Everyone

was really disappointed, but you kind of

take the loss and it makes you stronger.

How has the fans’ support been?

Oh, amazing. They’re so good! Week

in, week out, there’s just loads of people

and you can hear them; you just play for

them.

With fellow team-mates Tamsin

Greenway and Geva Mentor now having

joined the ANZ Championships in

Australia, what impact has this had on

the team and the season this year?

Obviously now our average age is like

19 or something ridiculous like that! So that

impacts in terms of experience - we don’t

have that many international caps on our

team. We’ve got lots of talent, but obviously

we’re lacking in that experience.

But they (Greenway and Mentor) should

be back for the next season.

Continued on page 19...

Upneet Thandi & Sian Hogan

Cheerleading: 19