In Love……

Spiritual Warfare and Marriage

The Battle To Believe The Best……

The Battle

Marriage is “under attack” by powers and principalities in the heavenly realms

Ephesians 6:10-20

Marriage is attacked because it is a “type” of Christ’s love and of the Father love of God and is the place where we grow most as a Christian, in love…

The Devil attacks through our minds, our hearts, our lusts and through the temptations and frustrations of the world…

Signs Of Spiritual Attack

Hopelessness, negative focus Spiritual lethargy Weird and ugly thoughts and ideas Powerful sudden impulsive temptations Spitefulness, vindictiveness, making threats A sharp cruel cutting edge in your words Unusual outbursts, prolonged sulking Accusation of one another Blasphemy, blaming God, spiritual anger Arguments before or after a time of ministry

or before or after church

Accuser & Liar

Aims to steal, kill and destroy, a liar from the beginning

Puts lies in our head about others who are close to us!

Accuses: Us to God God to Us Us to One Another Us To Ourselves

Legalistic, rules-minded, points out wrong-doing, shortcomings and “debts” owed one to the other…

Beware of Unholy Agreements!

The Devils unholy plans, lies and suggestions…

“I must have married the wrong person”

“I must be cursed for marrying this person”

“There is no hope for this relationship but to separate”

“I’m done…” Not wanting divorce or separation, but there is a clear resignation from engaging emotionally.

“I guess I’ll just have to settle for this kind of miserable life…”

Take your thoughts captive (1 Cor. 10: 3-6).

The Holy Spirit helps us in identifying such times when we make agreements with lies…

Satan Focuses On Fears and Feelings

Satan wants us to focus on our fears (paranoid scenarios)

Satan wants us to focus on our feelings (hurt, bored, deprived, insulted etc)

Instead we should focus on: GodThe Heavenly Perspective The Other PersonThe Verifiable Facts

Set Up The Fence Posts (Boundaries) Never be alone in a room/car with a person

of the opposite sex (other than your spouse) for an extended period of time.

Never flatter a person of the opposite sex

Never sensuously touch a person of the opposite sex even for seemingly “innocent” reasons.

Don’t flirt and don’t try to use sexual charm as a means of advancement

Never make provision for the lusts of the flesh (especially when traveling)

Be Aware…

Of when you are feeling lonely, trapped, frustrated or very bored…

Of when you are being inappropriately attracted

Of when you are making an effort to be around someone other than your spouse

Of the deceptive feeling that you are “better off without X…”

Of when you have a grudge against your partner and want revenge that will hurt

Be Aware…2

Of your prayer, Bible reading dropping away Of slack church attendance / lack of zeal Of sudden doubts about the Bible or doubts

about Jesus, finding excuses why Bible morals are “irrelevant for today”, reinterpreting the Scripture, being “liberal”, criticizing the Church or pastor, avoiding zealous Christian friends..

Of trying to intellectually justify polygamy, adultery or other wrong behaviors

Of suddenly making yourself attractive (for the wrong motive), going to the gym or enrolling in courses that would make you more “marketable”

These are often warning signs that you want to dodge the issue / guilt about what you are inwardly planning to do

Get Rid Of All Resentments Right Now!

Resentments are the Devil’s “footholds” Eph 4:27

Resolve

Resent

Reject

Revenge

If issues are not resolved they turn into resentments and start to fester within us.

Eventually the resentments create distance and rejection in the marriage and communication ceases while irritation increases.

Over time irritation overwhelms the desire not to act, it becomes fixed into an ambition to take revenge, which may be explosive and destructive.

Don’t Step Into The Whirlwind!

Some “seemingly small” decisions / actions set off a terrifying non-proportional sequence of events that I call the “whirlwind”

Hosea 8:7 “They sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind…”

The whirlwind is a blame game of rage, revenge, court cases, custody disputes, property settlements, petty bickering, family feuds etc.

Whirlwind Triggers: shouting/verbal abuse, physical violence, threatening divorce, secretive financial maneuvers that get found out, devious “house-of-cards” lifestyle choices, crime, one-night stands, Facebook romances, actual affairs…

NEVER do anything, that if it was found out, would automatically set the whirlwind into motion…

Cultivate Strong Peace (Shalom)

Develop the habits of holiness and the “ruts of righteousness” in your daily living.

Fill your week with good things “redeeming the time”, do more of what works

Have family rituals that are positive and joyful

Have times of prayer together Develop a constructive lifestyle that is

interesting, educational, beneficial and which expands and reinforces godly Christian principles

Don’t see your family life / marriage as being just about financial progress but about spiritual progress and personal growth, you cannot serve both God and Mammon.

The Lord’s Prayer

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven

Pray that God’s heavenly will is accomplished in your earthly marriage – full of love, grace, unity, health, joy etc

See your marriage as a place where God’s will is being made real on earth as it is in Heaven

Love your spouse in the same manner and high regard as as Jesus would

Lord’s Prayer - 2

Give us this day our daily bread

It is legitimate to ask that our basic human needs be met within marriage

Meet the other person’s needs before asking anything from them e.g. feed them, speak nice words, let them unwind, do a small task for them, inject with caffeine…

Take care of the household finances and also look to God’s faithfulness for daily provision

Lord’s Prayer - 3

Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors

Forgive = let go of Debts = things owed Sins, shortcoming and failures Financial debts Debts of love and gratitude Debts of politeness and courtesy Debts of unfulfilled expectations in the marriage We need to “let go of the stuff…” whatever it is… See also 1 Peter 3:7 God tends to treat us as we treat others! Sometimes we can forgive but need to be cautious

about trusting esp. violent behavior

Lord’s Prayer - 4

Lead us not into temptation (pressing circumstances) but deliver us from evil

Ask God to guard you and your spouse and to keep you from tough and compromising circumstances and from the evil situations of life

Realize that you each need divine protection if you are to make it through “this present evil age”.

Make prayer a part of daily marriage routines e.g. for safety before driving, saying grace before eating, praying at bedtime etc

John 17:21-26

We mainly pray for circumstances, but Jesus mainly prayed for relationships and moral qualities…

Unity, Love Sanctification (holy living, purity

etc) Being with Him Sharing His glory Realize that God loves you and

loves your spouse just as much as God loves Jesus

Pray to take your marriage to a higher spiritual level!

Winning & Overcoming!

Stay close to God Be filled with the Holy Spirit Keep good company and have good morals Walk in integrity with good sound boundaries Remember your High Calling as a Christian Faithfulness, endurance, forbearance …… Abundant forgiveness (70 times 7) Love is patient! Rebuke the Enemy and the Devourer in Jesus’

Name Pray for the solution (instead of worrying about

the problem) Fight each day’s battle… one day at a time sweet

Jesus…