in the beginning: how to write short story opening lines that will hook readers from the start
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In this presentation: Oren Shafir's three main ingredients for compelling opening lines with three examples from literary masters and 7 opening lines from his own flash fiction suspense blogTRANSCRIPT
I n t h e b e g i n n i n g : H o w t o w r i t e s h o r t s t o r y o p e n i n g l i n e s t h a t w i l l
h o o k r e a d e r s r i g h t f r o m t h e s t a r t
B Y O R E N S H A F I R
In this presentation: My three main ingredients for compelling opening lines, three examples
from literary masters and seven opening lines from my own flash fiction suspense blog
MY INGREDIENTS FOR YUMMY OPENING L INES
1.Specificity
2.Action
3.Tension
Plus, some fancy Latin literary terms for good measure
(you know you gotta have some fancy Latin literary terms)
I’ll explain what I mean for each ingredient, show you some
great examples from literature, then humbly present seven of
my own openings from my flash fiction suspense blog.
SPECIFICITY
Fancy latin literary term #1, Deixis (which I may or may not be using
correctly):
Deixis refers to words that cannot be fully understood without further
contextual information, for example, a personal pronoun (he, she, etc.)
when you don’t know to whom it refers. This may sound a bit vague, but
it will become clear when we get to the example shortly. Use deixis to:
Suck ‘em in
When you leave out that contextual information, it makes readers
curious and pulls them straight into your fictional world.
ACTION
Fancy Latin literary term #2, In medias res (pretty sure
I’m using this term correctly):
In media res means “in the midst of things.” In other words:
Get off to a flying start
You’re going to build a detailed background and world and
create a vivid setting some of which will appear in your story,
but for now, just leave it all in the back of your head, and --
Jump right into the fire.
TENSION
Fancy literary term #3 Calidis et tædere (definitely using this term
correctly cause I ran out of real Latin literary terms and had to make one
up):
Calidis et tædere means “hot n heavy” (according to Google translate,
anyway)
Introduce your conflict right away
The more tension, the more your audience will feel compelled to read on
in order to find out how it will be resolved. Now let’s look at examples of
these ingredients in the opening lines of three masterful writers.
SPECIFICITY EXAMPLE
“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía
was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover
ice.”
From One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Since we really don’t know where we are now in time, the words, “Many years later.,”
lack context but peak our interest and force us into the story. Of course we wonder
what discovering ice is all about, too. I remember reading this as a teenager and being
totally hooked, thinking, “What? You can start a book like that?”
Now let’s look at an example of the “in medias res” technique from a different genre: a
teleplay.
ACTION EXAMPLE
“EXT. COW PASTURE DAY…
ZOOOM! WHEELS plow right through the shit with a SPLAT.
NEW ANGLE - AN RV is speeding smack-dab through the pasture, no road in sight…”
From Breaking Bad pilot by Vince Gilligan
Okay, I’m cheating a little bit here because it’s not a story opening line per se, but it does
exemplify the “in media res” technique. Boy did this series ever start with a bang . We were
thrust right in the middle of a crazy police chase and were hooked from the start. What’s more,
in this case, amazingly, Vince Gilligan and company kept the action enthralling for five seasons.
This was of course, due to a variety of great ingredients.
But the opening action helped get us there. Now let’s look at my third opening-line ingredient,
tension, using another literary work, which blew the mind of (among others) the author of our
first example, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, to illustrate.
TENSION EXAMPLE
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found
himself transformed in his bed into a giant insect..”
From The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Say what? A giant insect? How are you going to write your way out of this one,
Franz? (one wonders upon reading the novella for the first time.)
That opening made a lot of people want to find out what the heck happens next, and
it’s a miracle of literature that the story lived up to its opening.
Anyway, that was our third ingredient. Now, at the risk of underwhelming you by
following up the greats with the much less great, here’s some examples from my
own flash fiction suspense blog.
7 FLASH FICTION OPENING LINES
1.A Drop to Drink: “ For the first time, Jason thought that they might just actually
die out there”…MORE
2.Love Letter: “ Dear Celia, If you’re reading this now, then I am dead” …MORE
3.Setting Momma Free: “Momma was bleeding from her head around the left
eyebrow.”… MORE
4.The Golem: “Heinrich only kept him alive because he amused the men” …MORE
5.The Geek: “They knew I didn’t do it because I was in Phoenix with my Dad that week
and didn’t get back till the day after vacation ended” …MORE
6.Nickie: “`We have to eat the dog,’ said Hans” …MORE
7.All for One: “What kind of person would beat a man to death with his bare hands?”
…MORE
Thanks, Oren ShafirPlease visit my blog:Suspense and horror flash fiction blogAmazon short story collection
Email me if you have feedbackOr add me to your Google+ circles
That was my two-cent’s worth, and I hope you found it useful and interesting.