influencing others: role of ethics, persuasion ... · persuasion, manipulation & deception au...
TRANSCRIPT
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Influencing Others: Role of Ethics, Persuasion, Manipulation &
Deception
AU Key Webinar Wednesdays
James M. Eisenmann
June 3, 2020
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What is the goal?
• Influence those around us (and be influenced) to produce goals of organization without force/authority/sanction in an ethical manner
• Influence ethically to produce a goal without the use of force, authority or sanction
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To be successful at this you need a few things ….
•An ethical core/integrity
•A reputation for being ethical/integrity
•Recognize manipulation and deception
•Ability to persuade
•Sometimes called political savvy
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You need to have integrity to successfully influence others
So what is integrity?
Someone who consistently abides by their own ethical code and those of the particular organization or profession
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Why do ethics matter when it comes to influence?
If people do not view you as an ethical person, their ability to trust you is seriously diminished
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Clash of Core Values
➢Truth vs. Loyalty
➢Individual vs. Community
➢Short Term vs. Long Term
➢Justice vs. Mercy
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
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Ethical Person
• Leaders are associated with certain traits, behaviors and decisions
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Ethical Traits: Substantive ethical core
• Honest
• Caring
• Trustworthy
• Sincere
• Factual/Accurate
But …
• Must be authentic
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Ethical Behaviors
• Open/transparent
• Be communicative
• Clarity in communications
• Show concern
• Provide safe environment
• Act in accordance with ethical principles
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Ethical Decisions
• Objective
• Fair
• Broad perspective
• Clear, repeatable decision-making process
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Do you have a reputation for
…
• Being ethical?
• Following through?
• Following rules?
• Delivering what you promise?
• Giving credit and taking blame?
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How do you develop this reputation?
How do people know?
• Need to be a role model for following ethics rules
• Weigh in on ethics questions in meetings
• Be careful of jokes/sarcasm related to ethics
• Share stories of ethics violations and consequences
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Ethical Manager
How can you help to create a culture of ethical behavior and decision making and a reputation for such?
• Role modeling through visible action
• Communicating and sharing the importance of ethics to you
• Reward/Discipline
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Ok, so you’re an ethical leader and you have a reputation for being ethical, now what?
Need to be able to detect those who would manipulate and deceive you
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Who is this?
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Niccolò Machiavelli
• Born May 3, 1469. Died June 21, 1527, Florence, Italy
• Italian Renaissance political philosopher and statesman, secretary of the Florentine republic.
• Most famous work, The Prince (Il Principe)
• Earned reputation as an atheist and an immoral cynic.
• “Ends justify the means”
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Detecting manipulators
• Seeks power not to help others but for power sake
• Seeks the promotion as a goal rather than the result of savvy, ethical work
• Takes credit
• Manipulates
• Creates losers
• Self-promotion
• Deflecting blame
• Whispers to higher-ups
• Boss/supervisor likes them more than peers or subordinates
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Manipulator vs. Savvy
Manipulator
• Manipulates
• Creates losers
• Power for own sake
• Hidden agendas
• Takes credit
• Spreads/deflects blame
Savvy
• Influences
• Creates winners
• Power to get things done
• Open/transparent agendas
• Spreads credit
• Accepts blame
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Who are manipulators?
• Bosses
• Peers
• Subordinates
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Ways to handle manipulators…
• Do not confront head on
• Not important to prove they are manipulators
• Know their agendas & be creative about channeling their drive/energy/force into a result that is good for the organization
• “Shed light” – open the decision-making process
• Create opportunities for the manipulator to reveal themselves –grabbing credit
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Deception
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Leaders will be and are deceived
Deception works
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Why are leaders the target of deception?
They have all the power – how could they be deceived?
• Fear
• Of what?
• Being wrong
• Being seen as indecisive
• Legacy
• Losing money
• Being criticized
• Greed
• Not wanting to take on certain players
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Why are leaders the target of deception?
• Stems from self-deception
• Susceptible to false flattery
• Out of touch with reality – too many “yes” people
• Pressure
• Temptation
• They trust too much in the good of others (U.S. Grant)
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Handling deception …
• Take action against those who deceive
• Shedding light/group meetings
• Innocent distortion of information vs. deliberate deception
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Deception typically comes in form of information … so be critical
• Motives
• Track record/history – fair, precise, agenda-focused, shading the truth; is she considered a mentor or coach by others
• Concerned about how she appears to others/the boss; take a holistic approach, does she always side with the leader
• Depth of the information
• Is she really fully listening, or simply agreeing/disagreeing immediately
• Communication style – direct, open, guarded, vague
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Handling deception …
• Ask for opinions before revealing your thoughts
• Don’t let the bad-mouthing continue
• Ask for examples. Captures liars and those with sloppy language.
• Shows that you are paying attention to (and critical of) what they are saying.
• Thank people publicly for pointing out mistakes you’ve made, or provide bad news or the “Devil’s advocate”
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Ok, so we’re ethical, we have a reputation for being ethical, we know who the schemers and deceivers are,
now what …..
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Before we persuade, we have tounderstand whether people are
willing to be persuaded
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Persuasion
• Instinct for offering facts/figures supporting our view and contradicting others
• Why doesn’t that always work?
• Once people have committed to a decision, difficult to persuade them to adopt a different one
• It is particularly difficult when people have firmly held beliefs
• We may then ignore evidence suggesting that we might be wrong
• Being confronted with evidence that seems to contradict strongly held views makes you feel uncomfortable, people will resolve that feeling by rationalizing away the conflicting information
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Persuasion
• Information is evaluated relative to preestablished beliefs
• How to address this?
• Do not try to change a belief but instead try to install a new belief
• Do not try to prove others wrong – focus on common ground and common motivations
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Persuasion
• Negotiating & learning process through which a persuader leads individuals to a problem’s shared solution.
• Not involve begging, forcing, threatening, etc.
• You want to get someone or some group from point A to point B.
• How can you persuade them to do that?
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Persuasion Phases
• Discovery
• Preparation
• Dialogue
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Persuasion
• Before negotiating or trying to persuade, ask yourself:
• Do I have enough information to start?
• Am I willing to hear and understand the other side and other/different information?
• Am I open minded?
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Persuasion …
4 steps to successful persuasion:
1. Credibility
2. Common ground
3. Evidence
4. Emotional connection
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Persuasion: Credibility
2 aspects of credibility
• Expertise/subject matter
• Prove self knowledgeable about the subject
• History of prior successes
• Relationships
• Over time demonstrated they can be trusted, honest, reliable
• Robust relationships
• Given benefit of doubt
• May have both, or only one
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PersuasionCredibility
How to address area of weakness?
• Expertise/subject matter
• Education – formal (classes) or informal (conversations with experts)
• Employ someone with expertise credibility
• Use reputable outside sources – reports, studies, etc.
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Persuasion …
Relationships
• Meet one on one with key individuals
• Involve colleagues who have strong relationship credibility
• Difficult to address if your reputation or credibility is in question
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Persuasion …
Common ground/motivation
• Identifying shared benefits
• Need to have a solid understanding of audience
• Study the issues that have been important to those trying to influence
• Learn from listening and informal networking with that person and others who know that person
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Persuasion …
Evidence
• Facts that demonstrate your idea works or is in best interests of organization
• Provide the evidence in an easily digestible format
• Easily repeatable format
• Stories work well at times
• Make sure your facts add up - literally
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Persuasion …
Emotional connection
• Know where your audience is emotionally on an issue
• What is the mood, pulse of your audience?
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Persuasion …
4 common pitfalls to persuasion:
• Attempt to make case with up front hard sell
• Resist compromise
• Assume secret of persuasion lies in presenting great arguments
• Assume persuasion is a one-shot effort
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Thank you!James M. Eisenmann
@jimeisenmann
www.aldenlg.com