Interpersonal Relations:How do Collaborate with and Get Along with Other People

Dr. John Persico Jr. 612-310-3803

Agenda: Day 1

• Interpersonal Relations: Overview Communication with others Valuing workplace diversity Managing stress

• Emotional Intelligence

• Power and Influence

• Negotiating

• Dealing with Difficult People

• Developing a Professional Presence

• Understanding Influence Styles (Self-Assessment)

2

Welcome

• Recap from Day 1

• Questions/Comments?

• Presentation of Leadership Development Plans

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Introduction of Participants

• Who are you?

• Why are you here?

• What are you most proud of in your educational career to date?

• Tell about a time you lost a job.

• What would you like to take away from this two day session?

Learning ObjectivesAt the conclusion of this session, participants will be able to:

1. Describe a communication model

2. State the leader’s role in establishing good communications, both vertically and horizontally

3. Identify the elements of emotional intelligence

4. Assess the current level of their emotional intelligence

5. Define aspects of interpersonal relationships

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Promote Lifelong Learning

You can develop lifelong learning traits:

• By showing curiosity about human nature and how

the world works.

• By seeking and valuing diversity.

• By persisting in seeking out new solutions.

• By using your unique talents and intelligence to promote positive change.

• By learning and applying technology tools to solve problems.

Show Respect

• Value yourself. Be honest and ethical, and practice strong moral values.

• Treat all members of the school community with politeness and respect.

• Honor the ideas and opinions of others.

• Offer to help.

• Be responsible for keeping an open mind.

Policies

• Ask questions at any time.

• Listen to all ideas and opinions.

• Leave for restroom when needed.

• Please be back from lunch and breaks on time.

• Let us know if the day is not working for you.

Interpersonal Relations: OverviewThe following are key skills and behaviors associated with Interpersonal Relations

Empathy

• Put one’s own emotions on hold

• Ask probing questions

• Listen fully to others’ concerns

Social Responsibility

• Give time and energy to beneficial things

• Cooperate with others in times of need

• Consider the greater good of the organization9

IR: Overview, Cont.

Relationship Networks

• ID people whose skills and abilities will contribute to

the network

• Actively make and maintain professional relationships

within the workplace

• Learn to feel comfortable in social settings and put

others at ease

• Maintain connections with those in the network

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The following model dissects the process in which communication takes place within interpersonal relations:

Communication with Others

Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.” -Joel in Eternal Sunshine of

the Spotless Mind11

Communication, Cont. “

•70% of waking time is spent communicating

•Includes transfer of knowledge and the understanding of meaning

•Two distinct kindsVerbal

• Words, Tone

Non-Verbal• Facial Expressions• Eye Contact• Posture

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Workplace Diversity

• Diversity: the differences that we all possess that make us unique

• Types of diversity Demographic

• Age, Gender, Race, Location, Religion, Socio-Economic Status

Deep-Level • Addresses thoughts and feelings

• Intangibles

ACTIVITY: DIVERSITY CASE STUDY

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Managing Stress

The following is a Stress Management video by Karyn Buxman:

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Stress, Cont.

• Causes of StressEVERYTHING!!!

• How do we counteract Stress?Resiliency

• Qualities of ResiliencyLife is a challenge, not a hassleOverriding belief that they serve a purpose

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Stress, Cont.

“When properly managed, stress can be the fuel that propels us to better health and greater productivity”

- Ways towards Wellness, Lutheran Brotherhood, 1990

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Stress, Cont.

DISCUSSION

1.Where has stress had a positive and a negative impact on your

life?

2.Has there ever been a time in your life when you reached the

“boiling point?” What was your reaction?

3.What methods do you use in your personal life to alleviate

stress?

4.How can you be proactive about managing excess stress in your

daily work life?

5.What are some stress “risk” factors to consider? 17

Emotional Intell igence

• Ability to identify, assess, and control emotions of yourself, others, or groups of people

• Daniel Goleman (2007) introduced his Emotional and Social Competency Inventory (ESCI)

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EI, Cont.

• “Emotional Intelligence refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and our relationships.”- Daniel Goleman “Working with Emotional Intelligence”

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EI, Cont.

• Four Areas of Competence Self-Awareness

• Evaluating oneself honestly and accurately

• Having confidence in one’s capabilities

Self-Management• Maintaining self control

• Behaving honestly with integrity

Social Awareness Relationship Awareness

• Success depends on ability to be self aware and to manage ones self

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• We are going to take a quick verbal EQ Survey

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EI VIDEO

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Power and Influence

• Where does it come from?

• Empowering Employees

• Influencing Employees

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Power and Influence, Cont.

“Power comes from transmitting information to make it productive, not from hiding it.” - Peter F. Drucker, Father of Modern Management

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Five Characteristics of Power

1. Power is Uniquely Expressed

2. Power Implies Risk

3. Power is Neutral

4. Power is Existential

5. Power resides in a conscious choice

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Five Bases of Power

• Legitimate – This comes from the belief that a person has the right to make demands, and expect compliance and obedience from others.

• Reward – This results from one person's ability to compensate another for compliance.

• Expert – This is based on a person's superior skill and knowledge.

• Referent – This is the result of a person's perceived attractiveness, worthiness, and right to respect from others.

• Coercive – This comes from the belief that a person can punish others for noncompliance.

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Power Exercise

• Read through referent and expert power bases, and write down when and how you've used that source of power in your current position.

• Ask yourself if you used the power appropriately. Is there anything you would do differently in the future?

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Power Exercise

• Think about the people who have power and influence over you in your current position. Create a strategy to reduce someone’s inappropriate power over you.

• When you feel powerless, identify what you can do to establish your own power and influence. You're never without power. Develop a strategy to be more aware of your own power strengths, and use that strategy to get what you need.

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Negotiation

• Bargaining relationship between two parties with a conflict of interest

• Consult Decision-Making Model

• Identify one example for each of the three categories underneath “Decision made by”

• Did you follow the process? Any additional comments?

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Decision Making ModelDecision Made By Process Used Comments

Leader Decides Individually weighs what is

involved, makes decision, then

announces the decision.

Some decisions must be made

alone due to authority or

expediency

Leader seeks ideas then decides Leader solicits responses and

alternative ideas from staff or

team members, then makes a

decision

Important if decision affects

staff; if there is time.

Leader and the staff or team

decide

The members of the staff or team

collaborate to reach consensus

Requires time and commitment

to this process; essential when

decision will impact members

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BATNA

• Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) Create a list of actions you may take if no agreement

is reached Take that list and plan practical alternatives Select, tentatively, the option which seems best

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Breakthrough Negotiations

• Add in the Breakthrough Negotiation Grid

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Dealing with Diff icult People• Who are these individuals?

The Hostile/Aggressive The Rejection-Sensitive The Complainer/Negativists The Silent/Unresponsive The Neurotic The Super Agreeable Know-it-Alls Indecisive The Egoist

• How can we deal with them? Limit exposure with them Make your conversation about THEM Keep it logical

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Diff icult Person Exercise

1. Describe a difficult person with whom you deal with regularly (No names please!)

2. Diagnose their behavioral type

3. Develop specific objectives for dealing with that person

4. Decide on specific strategies for dealing with this person

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Professional Presence

• Specialized Knowledge

• Competency

• Honesty & Integrity

• Accountability

• Self-Regulation

Consider the following photo examples and the situation in which they have been assigned, which is more professional?

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Professionalism Exam

CORPORATE BOARDROOM:

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Professionalism Exam

• SCENE OF AN MEDICAL INCIDENT

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Professionalism Exam

• MLB BASEBALL GAME

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Understanding Influence Styles

• RationalizingUse of Logic and Facts

• AssertingUse of personal confidence & law

• NegotiatingLooks for compromises

• InspiringUses sense of shared mission

• Bridging Uniting and connecting of others

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Leadership Point of View

• Imagine that you have been asked to tell 40 million viewers watching a special TV program on “world class” leaders your point of view on what makes a gread leader and how you embody these principles. What would you say? Write your Leadership Point of View in the box below.

• Take time to write your LPOV, and be ready to share with the large group.

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Wrap Up and Evaluations

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