iris 20bradley tyler marie (2)

8/3/2019 Iris 20Bradley Tyler Marie (2)

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Bradley 1

Iris Bradley

Ms. Caruso

English 1101

7 November 2011

TylerMarie

My original text was necklace I received from my boyfriend, Justin. It was a diamond

encrusted, heart-shaped necklace with a leafy side gallery and a thin, boxy chain. It has a fragile

chain that was popped by TylerMarie, my daughter and genre recreation. That speaks volumes

of its flaws. If it had a stronger chain it could withstand more toil from Tyler, but its dainty girth

allows it to be easily tugged on and broken. I chose my daughter because she is the only thing

that could carry more value than the necklace. She is the reason her father and I try to ensure that

things between us remain strong. For that reason she achieves the purpose of being a gift to each

other.

Her arms can embrace us. She is able to hug and love us. My genre recreation achieves

its purpose better because our love can be reciprocated. It is not just one sided. Although the

necklace is beautiful, I can enjoy her more because she will continue to grow more mentally and

physically. She will learn from me and her father. Knowing that we took part in molding her is

the best gift of all. Nothing warms my heart more than when she crawls to me and lies on my

chest to watch television the way her father does. She makes us appreciate each other because we

recall those tender moments with each other because she mimics us. Although awkward, it is

hilarious when she tries to French kiss me because she sees her father do it. Not only is she a gift

because she acts like her father, but also because she reminds us of each other simultaneously.

Comment [BC1]: Work to take yourself

the paper, as well as any references to the

assignments in the course.

Comment [BC2]: Take this out and keep

daughter to make your sentence more succ

Comment [BC3]: Informal.

Comment [BC4]: Rather than just talking

your daughter, bring in the necklace as well,

show how your daughter represents the ide

the necklace better the necklace itself.


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Her doe-like eyes remind us how to maintain her innocence as long as possible. She is so

eager to experience the world we want to make sure that she does not get exposed to the wrong

things. She is able see when we are upset, sad, or happy so we try not to hash-out any issues

we have in-front of her because she is so impressionable. Although she does not know exactly

what we are saying, she can read social cues which aid her in reading body language. Because

she notices the differences in our mood, we always try to say positive for her. Protecting her is

not something that one of us can handle alone so we are active in keeping her from negativity

while she is so young. Her innocent eyes remind us to look at each other in that same light that

she views us. When she looks into your eyes you can tell that she feels that we are her world. She

looks to us for guidance and that makes us be the best us we can be for her because we want

everything good in us to rub off on her. Upon looking in her eyes her curiosity and purity is

almost tangible that is why I chose to dress her in white. White is commonly used as a signal of

innocence, grace, and purity. She achieves her purpose because she not only warrants love she

can return it.

Her large feet leave an impression on our lives with her shoe size weighing in at a five.

She has feet of a baby nearly twice her age. We have to buy her eighteen month old footie

pajamas to accommodate her feet when she truly only wears twelve month clothes. She leaves an

impression on us because she brings out the best in us because we hope that she takes after us.

She leaves an impression on us because her father wishes she would take my good characteristic

while I believe she should have his. I cannot speak for her father, Justin but for me she resembles

her father even though most people believe that she looks like me. That makes me appreciate

him more because I see him in her. It makes me thankful because he has given me someone to

mold and be proud of. She is a gift to us because we can see the actions of each other in her. Her


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father and I are always comparing which side of the family she gets which traits from. She draws

us together because she gives us a special connection, which is her. Part of our connection is we

only see how perfect she is.

As a parent her faults are sometimes difficult to notice because she is essentially what we

make her and she is a part of both of us. One flaw that is apparent is her dependency on us

because she is so young. One of has to constantly watch her. She always needs to be with

someone because she tries to be so independent that she gets into everything. I often have to plan

my homework around her naps because she requires so much attention. That can make it difficult

for me because I do not always have time for her and school. Her dependency on us makes it

very difficult to do anything without her. TylerMaries dependency is a frequent problem

because we both work and are students. Her dependency is also a problem because it does not

allow her father and me for much time alone. We get snippets of time together when is napping

or when someone else is playing with her, but for the most part she is always there with us.

Her presence, of course, is not always a problem because she brings out the kid in you.

Laughing and playing with her makes you recall the time when I was a kid and I did the same

things with my parents. It makes me enjoy her more because I know she will look back as I do

and be thankful for the memories she has with us. TylerMarie is a gift to me from her father

because he has given me someone to share my childhood life with. It makes me proud to have

someone that I can share memories with like the ones I have of my mother and I doing arts and

crafts.

My genre recreation was based on something my mom and I did when I was a kid. She

taught me to sew so it was apparent to me that my recreation would be my daughter, TylerMarie

in a white dress with a glittery poncho. I chose white cotton for the dress because it is a


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comfortable, breathable fabric. White just accented her purity and innocence as a child. As for

style of dress I picked one that was simple because she does not really enjoy wearing clothing

that is fluffy and fussy. I thought a simplistic fun design really spoke of her character so I

decided to make her clothing a reflection of her personality. I chose a sparkly poncho because it

would allow her to be free and comfortable while still resembling my necklace. I also chose the

sparkling poncho because it really says something about her character. She has a very bubbly

personality. I also made that decision because she is very happy and carefree baby. I thought a

poncho was a good way to depict her open, free mind that allows her to absorb so much of our

personalities and habits.

TylerMarie is my new genre because she is an extension of the necklace. She is an

extension of Justin and me. She is a gift to each other because we get to mold her in our image.

She is everything about our relationship and ultimately is the result of it as is the necklace I

received from her father. If my necklace had a human form it would be Tyler. The necklace and

Tyler are one in the same because it reinforce or relationship because they represent the good and

bad times between us. TylerMarie reminds us to be cordial with one another because we are a

family. She achieves her purpose better than my necklace because she is something that brings us

together, instead of just being a reminder of bad times we overcame. She gives us something to

look forward to. We are forever a part of her so we want to stick together and she makes sure

that we remember that. The necklace can always be replaced or fixed, but she can never be

replaced or replicated. Tyler is more of an incentive to keep things between us good because we

have to make her a women we are proud to call our daughter and it cannot be done without one

another.

Comment [BC5]: Iris,

This paper is much more focused and compl

your RA paper or your peer review version o

paper. You have certainly come a long way.

For the revision, I would suggest you work o

main things:

1. Work on the structure of your paper and h

are presenting your ideas. Within your parag

you begin with the idea of your daughter, ra

than with the main id ea. In this way, your pa

reads as a kind of summary of your daughter

lead with your ideas, they will be more cont

and straightforward.

2. Work on the wording within your sentenc

paragraphs. Be sure that each one of your se

conveys meaningful content and transitions

form one idea to the next.

You have certainly come a long way in your and I am impressed! Continue to work hard

make your papers stronger. Let me know if y

like any help with your revisions!

-Ms. C

iris 20bradley tyler marie (2)

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