From the editors of

Is Foster Adoption

Right for My Family?

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More than 100,000 children in the U.S. foster system need forever families. Read on to learn whether adopting from foster care could be right for you.

Can I adopt from foster care?There are half a million children in U.S. foster care. About 100,000 of them are already free for adoption, and about 50,000 are adopted every year. Forty percent are white, one-quarter are African-American, one-quarter are His-panic, and the rest are “other.” The average age of children in foster care who are eligible for adoption is eight.

What’s the difference between adoption and foster care?An adopted child belongs to his or her parents forever, just as if they had conceived, carried, and given birth. A foster child is a ward of the state, which can decide where he or she should live, go to school, and so on.

How do children end up in foster care?Half the children in foster care have been removed from their birth parents because of abuse or neglect; a quarter were relinquished by birth parents who are ill, incarcerated, or otherwise unable to care for a child. The rest are in foster care because of a disability, delinquency, or because of a prior failed adoption.

Is Foster Adoption

Right for My Family?

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StraIgHt talk: Your first encounter with a foster child may be through a photo listing, on the Web or in an adoption agen-cy album. You should be able to read a brief description of each child, but the information will be very limited to protect the child’s privacy. Experienced foster parents know how to look for clues: “Active” may suggest an attention disorder; recommendation for placement in a home without other children may suggest a history of severe abuse. If you plan to adopt from foster care, you must find out why a particular child is in the system. A child who was removed after parental abuse will need very different support from a child whose loving birth parent placed him for his own good.

Can I adopt a newborn from foster care?Before a child can be adopted from foster care, social workers must first try to reunite him with his birth family. After it’s decided that reunification isn’t possible, terminating the birth parents’ rights usually takes a little over a year. As a result, tiny babies are rarely adopted directly from foster care. If you want to adopt a baby from foster care, you should apply to a fost-adopt program, or become a foster parent with the hope of adopting later.

What are the advantages of adopting a foster child?Adopting from foster care gets relatively little attention, yet it is by far the most common type of adoption in the U.S. It has one huge drawback: Until the adoption is finalized, your foster child can be removed to be reunited with birth family, or placed with another family. But there are also major advantages: You and the child get to know one another before the adoption; you can foster a newborn; out-of-pocket costs are generally $0 or minimal, and parents may receive financial supports during the fostering period and after adoption.

WISE WORDS:“Even if the child goes back to the birth family, you have made a difference in a human life, and that is very powerful.” — Sarah Gerstenzang, MSW, a social worker and an adoptive parent

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Foster Adoption: Fast FactsAre you considering adopting a child from U.S. foster care? 107,918 children are currently in the system waiting for permanent, loving families.

Foster adoption 101

n You can adopt directly from foster care. In this case, the children are likely to be older (they are rarely under two), and the birth parents’ rights have already been terminated.

n You can foster a child, fall in love, and later apply to adopt. Your appli-cation will be considered along with those of other would-be parents.

n You can apply to a fost-adopt program, in which you foster a child with intent to adopt. In this situation, the child has not been freed for adop-tion, but social workers believe that that will ultimately be the goal in the child’s case, and will pre-approve you to adopt should that happen.

Foster Care Statistics There are approximately 107,918 children in the U.S. foster care system whose parental rights have been terminated and who are waiting to be adopted.

n I n 2014, 50,644 children were adopted from foster care.

n Average age of waiting children: 7.7 years old.

n Race/ethnicity of waiting children:• 42%Caucasian• 23%African-American• 23%Hispanic

n The average child in foster care waiting to be adopted goes through three different placements and has been in the system for 32.3 months.

n In 2014, more than 22,000 children aged out of foster care without a permanent family.

SOURCE: The AFCARS Report, No. 22, Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) FY 2014 data, Preliminary FY 2014 Estimates as of July 2015.

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80% of foster adoption respondents receive an ongoing monthly subsidy. On average, those families reported receiving $782 per month.

U.S. Foster Adoption 50,644 adoptions through the U.S. foster system in FY 2014

U.S. foster adoption is by far the least expensive adoption route, but it can take time. Parents must first be approved to foster and/or adopt and take parent training classes. After that, placement can happen quickly, and often with little warning, but families may foster one or more children before adopting. While the process of terminating the birth parents’ rights and finalizing the adoption will likely take longer than a year, the child may be in your care for most of that time.

U.S. FOSTER ADOPTION COST BREAKDOWNThe average costs reported by families that adopted through the U.S. foster system in 2013/14 were in line with current and recent trends for this route.

A significant percent of families reported no expense. Foster adop-tive families may claim the full adoption tax credit, regardless of ex-penses paid. Children may also qualify for ongoing monthly subsidies, health coverage through Medicaid, and, in some states, college tuition Families that reported expenses may have hired a private attorney or traveled multiple times and/or a long distance to visit the foster child before placement.

Home study fee $261

Document preparation & authentication $0

Adoption agency application & program fees $0

Attorney fees $610

Advertising/networking $0

Birth family counseling $0

Birth mother expenses $0

Foster care $0

Travel expenses $330

All other expenses $529

TOTAL $1,730

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U.S. Foster Adoption families on their total cost:

“Foster adoption is more than affordable. All of our costs were reimbursed, from the home study to attorney fees, and we now receive a monthly sub-sidy.”

“The only costs we incurred were for travel, because the children we adopted lived four hours from us.”

“We had some medical expenses, then decided to hire a private attorney to negotiate for the best possible subsidy, to help cover ongoing care.”

“We had minor costs, rather than none, only because we adopted a foster child across state lines.”

U.S. FOSTER ADOPTION TIMINGIn U.S. foster adoption, placement can happen quickly, and often with littlewarning,but42%offamiliesfosteroneormorechildrenbeforeadopting. The entire foster process, from foster certification to adop-tion finalization, is often lengthy, but the child may be in your care for most or nearly all of that time.

Average time from foster certification to placement of child adopted:

Less than 1 month 23%

1 to 3 months 15%

4 to 6 months 14%

7 to 9 months 5%

10 to 12 months 9%

13 to 17 months 6%

18 months or longer 28%42% of all foster adoption families had one or more prior placements that did not end in adoption.

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Average time from placement to finalization:

Less than 1 month 0%

1 to 3 months 2%

4 to 6 months 9%

7 to 9 months 16%

10 to 12 months 14%

13 to 17 months 15%

18 to 23 months 19%

2 years or longer 25%

U.S. Foster Adoption families on their total timeline:

“Just as the birth mother’s rights were about to be terminated, the birth father was found, and he contested Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). We did have custody of our child that whole time, however.”

“TPR took a long time because our child’s birth mother kept making just enough progress that she was given additional opportunities to work on her reunification plan.”

“In this overburdened system, paperwork just seems to land on desks and sit there until you call to check on it. You’re also dealing with a large cast of people, and each one has vacations, sick days, medical leaves, maybe a move to a different department, and so on.”

“It just takes a while for the court system to work. We also went through two caseworker changes.”

“The birth parents already had children who’d been placed through the system, so this adoption went quickly. But ‘fast’ by foster standards was 14 months.

50% of all foster adoption families adopted children who were younger than two years old at the time of placement.

Personal Essay

Fostering LoveThe emotional risks were daunting. But foster adoption was still the best option for me. by roSemary SHulman

“Anyone in this class who wants to adopt will be able to adopt.” That was the first thing the social worker said to my foster parent training class. Until then, I’d been too scared to pursue my dream of becoming a mom. It was exactly what I wanted to hear.

The Foster Adoption OptionWhen I mentioned my desire to adopt to a colleague, she told me that she was pursuing fost-adopt. Children available for placement in a fost-adopt home have been determined to be less likely than others in the system to return to their birth families. Fost-adopt parents have an open relationship with the birth family. Birth parents are counseled about their options and are advised of a plan for adoption as the alternative to reunification.

With fost-adopt, I didn’t need to own a home or have $50,000 in the bank to be-come a parent. I decided to give it a try, and within three weeks I was attending MAPP (Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting) classes with other pro-spective parents. The themes of attachment, abuse, neglect, and the loss a child feels when placed in foster care were daunting at first, but later my group agreed that every parent should be required to attend classes like this. I concluded that I could handle the possibility of giving a child back—though I hoped I would never be faced with that.

I completed my application and home study straight away, and was officially placed on the “open homes” list. Three weeks later, I was Renee’s mom.

She arrived dressed in a hospital-issue undershirt and diaper, tightly bundled in an infant carrier. I kept thinking, Oh, my God, I’m a mom. Now what do I do? I fed her and changed her into her first pair of pink teddy bear pajamas. I admired her 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes.

Three days after I returned to work, I received the call: Renee’s great-aunt had been granted custody. My heart was in pieces when I went home that night to pack Renee’s little undershirts and sleepers. I wrote a letter to her family ex-

plaining that she liked to fall asleep on her side, that she was a good burper after two ounces of formula, and that tickling her toes made her smile. The next day I drove Renee to the agency. Her family hugged me and thanked me for taking good care of her, and I said good-bye to my little girl.

Starting AgainI had just begun to heal after the loss of Renee when I received a call from my social worker. A baby boy was waiting. He had been born nine weeks premature and was now ready for discharge from the hospital. Justin was three weeks old and barely tipped the scale at four pounds, yet he was surprisingly healthy, with no apparent special needs. The social worker didn’t know whether he would be a permanent adoption placement. For me, the overwhelming desire to be a mom outweighed the uncertainty. We became a team—mother and son. Then, once again, the dreaded call came. A great-aunt had been found who was will-ing to take custody. Another great-aunt? It wasn’t any easier to let go this time.

Even before Justin was gone, the agency called again. They had another baby boy. He would probably be placed for adoption. I had wanted a few weeks to recover before I went back on the open homes list, but before the social worker had finished giving me the details, I knew I would say yes.

A Family—ForeverMatthew came to live with me on a hot day in July. Now three years old, his bright eyes, beautiful smile, and curious nature make every day of my life a wonderful adventure. We love each other beyond reason. And he is here to stay: our adoption ceremony was held just under two years after his placement.

There are more than 100,000 children in foster care in this country who are waiting to be adopted right now. There is minimal or no cost involved in adopt-ing through the foster system. Single parents are welcomed. For families who have their hearts set on a newborn—well, I had three placed with me in a matter of months.

Adopting through the foster care system wasn’t easy; then again, neither are the other ways of adopting. I will do it again. I treasure my memories of the time, however brief, I spent with my first two babies. I was there for Renee’s first smile, Justin’s first splashes in his bubble bath. Matthew took his first steps into my arms, and he is waiting for me with a big smile at the end of each day.

Rosemary Shulman lives with her son, Matthew, in California.

PERSONAL ESSAY

Special DeliveryOlder adopted children may have more social and emotional needs than infants. But, as we discovered, they are just as capable of joining—and strengthening—a loving family. by kate robertSon

We thought we wanted a baby. A tiny fist wrapped around our fingers. The smell of talcum powder. A coo, a cry, a cuddle.

But after trying, unsuccessfully, to conceive — including an attempt at in vitro fertilization — my husband, Kevin, and I decided to explore adoption.

Overwhelmed by the prospects of international adoption and the costs and risks of independent domestic adoption, Kevin and I decided to sign up to be foster parents. We could help a child, we reasoned, while trying to decide the best way to get one of our own. We imagined a toddler, delivered to our door, longing to be loved and nurtured.

That’s not what happened.

Special NeedsIn Louisiana (where we lived), couples who want to become certified foster or adop-tive parents first take a nine-week course, to learn about parenting and about the children who need homes.

The faces of waiting children look much the same in every state. They are six and 10 and 12. They are children with difficult histories. They are not infants or toddlers. They are not blank slates. Some have emotional problems and learn-ing disabilities and even serious health concerns. But like all children, they need permanent families. A place to call home, a place of safety and guidance today, a place to bring the grandkids for Christmas tomorrow.

Kevin and I looked through photos of Louisiana’s waiting children. The faces haunt-ed us. They were smiling for the camera, like puppies in a pet store window wagging for a home. We were overwhelmed with sorrow and regret. Regret that we couldn’t adopt them all. The question of whether to adopt one of the children in these pho-tos was became how do we adopt one?

A social worker helped narrow our search. Would we consider a sibling group? We had two extra bedrooms, Kevin pointed out. With bunk beds, we could eas-ily take three.

Special needs? Here we hesitated. Older children in the foster care system would likely have emotional problems, we reasoned. Could we handle learning disabilities, as well? Medical conditions?

We decided that we could handle “moderate” disabilities, but that, as first-time parents, we did not have the skills or confidence to handle severe problems.

And so we continued with our classes and waited for a call. It didn’t take long for our children to find us. A friend was the temporary foster mother of a sister and brother, eight and 10, who were on their sixth foster placement. They were not yet available for adoption, but were expected to be shortly. We saw their pic-tures, talked to their foster mother, and arranged for a visit. Three weeks later, our family grew by two.

Special FirstsThose first few days were a bit uncomfortable for us all. Kevin and I tried to help the children settle in. They were polite houseguests, busy with a new school and picking out new clothes and toys. The process of becoming a true family unfolded in the months to come.

Couples who consider adopting older children often worry that they will mourn having missed the firsts: first step, first word…first grade.

But parents of older adopted children have their own set of firsts. The first time my son, Derek, stopped calling me “Miss Kate” and called me Mom. And how he liked the sound of it, and for the next few days liberally sprinkled every sen-tence with it.

“Mom, what’s for dinner, Mom? Mom, can I go outside to play, Mom?”

Or the first time my daughter, Arielle, blurted out “I love you” as she ran off to catch the school bus.

Or the first time my son felt safe enough to whisper in my ear a painful secret — a hurt he’d never told anyone — trusting that I would help him heal.

Or the first time someone passed my desk at work, noticed the photographs of the children, and asked, “Are those your kids?” And I said, “Yes, yes they are.”

Special ChallengesOur children, like many older adopted children, face challenges resulting from the losses they experienced moving from the home of their birth parents to homes of various relatives, to foster homes, and finally to our home. Their home.

We have had some behavior problems, anger outbursts, and nightmares. But we have also had plenty of laughter, love, and a growing trust.

One challenge faced by families who adopt older children is the birth family. In our case, a teenaged brother and maternal grandparents the children adore — and an aunt and uncle who are temporarily holding up our adoption as they wage a legal battle over custody — an honor they abused and lost long ago.

Each day we journey further into uncharted waters, as we find ways to bring some members of the birth family into the fold of our family while acting as sentry against those who can only do damage.

Special SupportThe children’s health needs are completely covered by the state, as is counseling. And we receive a monthly check to help cover the costs of room and board — a far cry from covering all the costs of Game Boys and karate lessons, but a help nonetheless. Once our adoption is final, state financial support will decrease, but not disappear. In Louisiana, full medical coverage continues, as does room and board payment, though at a reduced rate.

Derek and Arielle now have a home. As I hold my children’s small hands in mine and breathe in their smell of strawberry shampoo and Sweet Tarts, I know I have the babies I was meant to have. And so, as the adoption moves forward, we wait for a judge to say what we already know: We are a family.

Kate Robertson is a freelance writer. She lives with her family in Texas.

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