Is itRomance

orFauxmance

find out, see Page 10

Teacher Celebrity Crushes

for the scoop, see Page 9

Are YOU being Stalked?Find out on Page 2

2

page by: Tomm

y Dougherty &

Noah B

arbieri

Editor-in-ChiefSara AlvarezNews Editor

Nicole DetmersAmusement Editor

Shelby MerekSports EditorEmily Hooper

Advertising ManagersDaphne Andrews

Jocelyn Padilla Writers

Noah BarbieriKohl Bryant

Juan SalgadoSchyler Church

Alex CrespoBilly Duggan

Tommy DoughertyOlivia Engellenner

Kira GarveyNatalia KacevasBrieanna KirkusBrandon Martin

Kimmie MuirAlexandra Paradis

Nicole PietersDallin Pulsipher

Rebecca WrightStephanie MillerRhys O’Hagan

Madison SlaughterPhotography

ManagerNamkha Nguyen

Newspaper AdvisorJean Cavanaugh

Meet the staff!

With the dawn of new technology, taking pictures

of your friends has become a common trend. However, when the cameras are flashing, there is always someone jumping

in behind the people posing. This epidemic, called photo bombing, has spread across the globe and especially at Folsom High. The Enquirer

has been able to document some of these photo bomb-ers.

Photobombing: the newest epidemicBy Tommy DougherTy

enquirer STaff WriTer

Girls that wear Ugg boots with skirts. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!! Do you know how stupid that looks? you might as well tattoo“ I have no fashion sense,” on your forehead.

That Grinds My GearsBy noah BarBierienquirer STaff WriTer

Guys that wear mulitple long Vans socks. Please stop. Long socks went out of style in the 80’s. Plus one pair of socks will work for the day, not 10 socks on top of each other.

Wearing giant Beats by Dre headphones around your neck. It doesn’t make you look like a DJ or a gangster. It makes you look like a tool. Also, we don’t want to listen to your bad music because your I-Pod music level is at 125%.

Bragging about your bad grades. Stop, It doesn’t make you look or sound cool. It makes everyone in the room think you are a complete and utter idiot.

Cruising in your car with your bro. you get to a stop sign. There is a guy that you beat to the line first. Being nice you signal them to go. But what do they do? They signal you to go. Ok, idiot. I will go

because I’m not getting in a five minute battle of signaling.

The yellow traffic light. Who would invent such a usless thing. It’s not like anyone slows down, all they do is speed through it.

3page by: B

illy Duggan

Bro-ology 101: Broisoraus Rex

also known as “bro”tein shake. Casually lets the whole school know the bro goes to the gym, and he doesn’t just play bas-ketball when he’s there. He

picks up heavy things, and he needs the protein to get

shredded.

The slogan of bros everywhere. If the

wild “Bro”isouris is losing an argument, or mad at someone, he will simply resort to yelling this repeat-edly and spreading

his arms to make him seem larger.

For some bros one sock just isn’t enough to show his love. He will add a second, shorter, different colored sock to go with his Vans. That way, everyone will know how cool he

looks and it makes your calves look great.

Generally a solid color. Keeps the Bro’s

style fresh by not always wearing a

tank top.

by billy DugganEnquirEr Staff writEr

The wild Broisoraus Rex, the most bro creature on the face of the planet. Well known for their sports playing and heartbreaking. They are the epitome of masculinity and testosterone. Always ready to show off for a crowd, or just about any-

one, they love the limelight. Ever want to know the six main signs of a Broisoraus? They are shown below, along with a Broisoraus to demon-strate.

A universal sign to all nearby bros that

he is one of them and needs to tan and show

off his muscles.

Bro tank top

“Come at me bro”

The Vans and high socks Protein shaker “Way too tight”shirt

You always got to be ready to ball, bro.

Basketball shorts

4

page by: Olivia E

ngellenner

Like, OMG, what’s with the drama???

So, like, today was like the worst day ever! I had so much drama to deal with, it was, like, so ridicu-lous.

To start off the day, I went into the kitchen to find my usual breakfast: low fat yogurt. So I, like, opened up the refrigerator door to find it totally empty, so I, like, couldn’t eat any breakfast. I mean, like, really. What am I supposed to eat? Everything else in my house has, like, an absurd amount of calo-ries, and I DO NOT want my size double zero figure to change at all.

So, like, after my non- breakfast, I went to school. Once I arrived, I was, like, rudely greeted by my ex- friend telling me that I, like, should totally watch my

back because nobody likes her angry, and I was like oh no you didn’t, and she was like oh yes I did.

After that I, like, totally decided that I was so done with her, so I just carried on with my day. Then, at lunch I was, like, supposed to meet my boyfriend in the cafeteria, and so, like, I was waiting and all of a sudden, I saw him talking to my exfriend. I was all like heck no and marched over there, and I totally decided to teach them a lesson.

When I asked them what the heck was going on my boyfriend said that they were, like, talking about their project that they have to, like, work on after school. I so totally know that when a boy and a girl “work on a project” after school I know they aren’t really working on a project, so I told him that I was, like, totally NOT ok with that and he will have to find a totally new partner, AND HE SAID NO!!!

I was, like, totally shocked and, like, told him if he doesn’t find a new partner then it’s over… so he, like, looked at me and said it’s over. So, like, I just stomped away and went into the bathroom while I, like, cried my eyes out just like that! So, like, after school I, like, went home and laid on my bed and cried for, like, five hours, because hello… my is life so over.

I had to, like, totally think up an awesome plan to get him back. Plan A... I find a new date to prom and, like, totally show him off. Or, like, Plan B... I put love letters in his backpack everyday to show him how much I miss him and love him, and he will, like, totally realize that was he did, was, like, totally stupid and then will have to, like, totally take me back!

So I, like, totally decided that I should call my BFF to, like, tell her what went down, and tell her my Plan A and Plan B and see what she thinks of them!

So, like when I told her about my, like, totally rude boyfriend she said that I could, like, do way better. The problem with that, is that my boyfriend

was the hottest guy at Folsom High! If I go out with anyone less hot I will be, like, totally hated on, and I, like, totally don’t deserve that!

So, like, when I was in the middle of my conver-sation my, like, totally rude parents walked in and started complaining about my D in English, and, like, totally took away my cell phone, and my laptop. Like, how am I supposed to change my relation-ship status on Facebook without my laptop??? Like, Hello?!

If I don’t change my relationship status then I won’t be able to flirt with other guys tomorrow because they will all think that I’m still with my boyfriend… and if I don’t have a boyfriend who will be there to call me beautiful every day???? I mean, I, like, totally know that I’m a hottie but what is the fun of that if guys aren’t, like, falling at my feet?? EX-ACTLY… it’s not fun!!

So, like, I decided that I need to release some stress and so, like, I decided to give myself a facial. I totally deserved that!

So, I went into my bathroom to get all my sup-plies, and I like totally realized that I was all out of my face mask!!!

At that point I was like totally ready to die… no breakfast, rude friend, lost my boyfriend, D in English, no laptop, no cell phone, no Facebook, no flirting, and now worst of all no facial!!! Could this day, like, get any more worse…?

Olivia Engellenner is a first year

newspaper student and a

freshman at Folsom High.

by Olivia EngEllEnnErEnquiErEr Staff WritEr

5page by: E

mily H

ooper

The new faD dietsLooking to lose weight? Use these tips for a toned stomach, clearer skin, and healthier life style.

Why it is better:

a When you start your day off with a full load of sugar, it will speed up your metabolism mak-ing you burn double the calories throughout the day.a The extra fat stays stored in your cells and keeps you warm dur-ing winter months.

Why it is better:

a All of the extra cheese will help to unclog your arteries.

a Grease from the pepperoni is an energy boost and keeps you awake and motivated to get things done.

a Soda carbonation clears and smoothes your skin.

Why it is better:

a Eating many carbohydrates before bed creates a better night’s sleep!

a Butter strengthens your hair and nails.

a Eating alfredo sauce creates better eye sight, and can also help build muscle while you’re inactive.

by Emily HoopErEnquirEr SportS Editor

TRY: Maple doughnut with sprinkles, and a glass of whole chocolate milk.

TRY:

TRY:

Pepperoni sausage pizza, side of cheese bread and a soda.

Fried chicken leg, biscuit with butter and alfredo sauce pasta topped with parmesan cheese.

Instead of:

Whole grain oatmeal with an all fruit smoothie.

Chicken garden salad and lemon water.

Instead of:

Instead of:

Grilled tilapia with steamed broccoli and rice.

page by: Alex Crespo

Dear Cresbro, I am a 14 year-old girl who attends Folsom High School. I recently found a lump on my arm, I was scared. So, I decided to go to the doctors and see what was up with my arm. Turns out there was a mutant baby growing from my arm. I’m afraid of getting made fun of around school with this baby on my arm... Do you think I will? What should I do? PS; it talks... -Littlelumpyarm Dear Littlelumpyarm, I can’t ever imagine someone even slightly noticing a giant, talking mutant growing from your small 14 year-old body! Don’t be scared, there’s no possible way this growing creature could ever be negative for you in anyway. Getting this was a blessing and you will definitely become popular, after this. Now, you can obtain your lifelong dream of join-ing the circus that I know you’ve probably always wanted! Good luck!

Hey Cresbro, I have this problem. My friends all think I’m obsessed with my girlfriend. I mean, it’s not like I stalk her or anything. They all think it’s weird that I have an app just for her specific Face-book page, and I stole her schedule and copied it and followed her to every class, and follow her home to make sure she makes it there safe! She’s just so pretty, I can’t leave her alone. But she loves me, I know, even though my friends say she has a restraining order being filed against me. I know it’s just a rumor because our love is ever so true. How do I get my friends to understand? -hopelesslydevoted

Dear hopelesslydevoted, the only way to really get them to understand your com-pletely sane and absolutely normal love for this lucky girl is to start treating them how you treat her! Follow them around, stalk them at their home, obsessively refresh their Facebook page and even send them anonymous love letters! This will really get them to appreciate how much of a devoted person you are and everyone will want to be your friend!

Cresbro, I really want to ask this guy to senior ball, but I’m afraid he’ll reject me. I was thinking something small and cute like lighting ‘senior ball’ on fire on his hood of his car; or spelling ‘SB’ in pig’s blood on his doorstep. What do you think he’ll say? -cutelycreative Dear cutelycreative, I think your ideas are adorable! Of course he’ll say yes. Who could turn down the cutest crimes on their property like arson and vandalism? No one, that’s who! He’d be crazy not to go with you to Senior Ball. You sound like you’ll have a great time. You should do both of your ideas for added awesome factor, have fun!

Cresbro is a professionsal advice giver and is the wisest, coolest person featured in our newspaper.

by Alex Crespo enquirer stAff Writer

Ask Cresbro:6

7page by: K

imm

ie Muir

10 Ways to get a guy attracted to youby Kimmie muirenquirer Staff Writer

1. Dress to impress.Don’t think twice about putting on that revealing top.

2. Be confident with who you are.

my

3. Talk to him.Tell him your life story because he “really” wants to hear.

4. Flirt with him.Flirt by telling him how many cats you would like to have.

5. Talk about his ex constantly.

Make sure he knows how horrible of a person she was and how much better than her you are.

6. Make eye contact.Have a staring contest.

7. Laugh at his jokes.When he tells a joke, laugh really really hard so that you start snorting and clapping like a seal; guys are really attracted to that.

8. Make awkward contact.

The best way to do this is laugh at him and pat his shoulder repetitively.

9. Let him know you are interested.

Forget about boundaries and text him 24/7 and drive by his house all night.

10. You do the asking.

Ask him to dinner, order all of the des-serts on the menu and make him pay.

Want to join us?

for 2012-2013

Enroll inNewspaper Production

8

page by: Dallin P

ulsipher

I, detective Asay have gone around under

cover studying supernatural beings of

Folsom High that I classify as the

Revengers.

Subject 1Disguised as Colin Kersey, The Flying Spaniard uses his

ability of flight through singing to take control of the 2012 presidential

election and stop the impending future

invasion.

Subject 2Spencer Hales, code

name Lightning Pirate, has been

sent from a different dimension in search of his grandmother’s blue dragon, only to

find himself searching for the

‘flying colors’.

Subject 3After the time

being stolen from her hometown

Seoul, South Korea, Puppy Time, a.k.a. Anna Song travels from the future to Folsom by eating a radioactive sponge in order to save her

town.

Subject 4After a terrible

accident in a lab, Jen-nifer Bullen was turned

into Slothine. She’s traveled through space

as a bandit turning dragons into marbles, but has now come to Folsom to remove her

curse.

Subject 5Born in the mid-1700’s, La Lionne Verte (The Green Lioness), was an

escaped convict ac-cused of stealing time for her cousin’s dying

daughter, but with her ability to live forever now masquerades as a French teacher at

Folsom High. She helps others with her ability

of mind reading.

Oh, by the way, I’m one too.

Help me! Revengers Unite!

By Dallin Pulsipher Enquirer Staff Writer

Huh?I’ll save you.

9page by: K

ira Garvey

High school celebrity crushes: Teacher editionby Kira Garveyenquirer Staff Writer

Everyone who has gone through high school has developed a celebrity crush. Whether the crush is completely nor-mal, or insanely creepy, that is a whole other story. These teachers recall their (completely sane) celebrity crushes from when they were in high school.

Troy Taylor, PE teacher + Meg RyanElizabeth Gutierrez, Math teacher + JC Chasez

Eric Wright, Science teacher + Farrah Fawcett

Susan Posner, Speech and Debate teacher + Tom Cruise

Paula Kellogg, English teacher + Warren Beatty

Mark Hallam, US History teacher + Cheryl Tiegs

vs.

10

page by: Schyler C

hurch and Madison S

laughter

Obviously, if a girl is saying this, it is never a good sign. Now if a guy is saying this, he really means it...he is totally fine.

“I’m fIne.”

A girl saying this means she does not want to disclose her thoughts. A guy saying this means he has been literally thinking about nothing, and to pry would just be a waste of time.

“What’s on your mind?...Nothing”

Here, a girl is,again usually just fishing for compliments. When a guy says it, usually he has not brushed his hair, taken a shower, and his clothes do not match.

“I look so gross today!”See, girls are just self conscious and

have all these skinny models in magazines, so when they feel down about themselves, they say this as an attempt to fish for compliments. Guys say it when they have not worked out for awhile, and are really putting on some pudge.

“I look fat.”

HA HA! If a girl tries to say this, do NOT listen to her. She is immediately jealous when she sees her boyfriend with another girl and automatically assumes the worst. Sometimes guys do care, but more than half the time, if you have not caught on, he really is NOT jealous

“I’m not jealous.”

by Madison slaughter equirer staff Writer

When people talk to each other, sometimes they are not sure as to the meaning behind the response. Here is some insight into what is really going on behind those words.

What I Meant Was...translating truthfully what is really being said

Makes their own sandwich...................................Tells you to go in the kitchen and make one They can hang with your friends.............................................Openly disses your closest friends Shows their affection wherever...................................Only in private will they show they careCalls you beautiful or handsome..............................................................................Calls you hotLooks at you all the time...........................................................Looks at their phone all the timeActually listens and responds.................................................Interrupts and changes the topicPuts you first........................................................................You feel like your on the back burner Drives a car..........................................................................They still have a basket on their bikeInvites themselves to family dinners........................Won’t come over to hang with the familyTalks to your friends to get to know you.....................................Dated your friends before you Responds right away....................................................................................Takes “days” to replyI am so glad I met you.........................................................................You’re such a good friendI have missed you......................................................................................It was good to see youRespects you...............................................................................................................Pressures you Calls for no reason.............................................................................They won’t return your callsDoes the right things.......................................................................................Says the right thingsMakes you a priority.................................................................Cancels on you more than onceWatches something you want.......................................................................Complains nonstop Laughs even when you’re not funny...........................................Looks at you like you’re crazy Pauses a videogame to text you back........................................Makes you hold on a minute Gives you a gift just because.............................................Forgets your birthday or anniversaryDefends you.....................................................................................Lets people make fun of you Uses your name more often..................................................................Only uses your pet nameThey remember things about you...................Always forgets things you’ve told them beforeTalks to you in the quad.......................................................Gives you the head nod in passingCan openly read their texts..............................Turns into a ninja when you reach for their cellTalks on the phone..................................................................................................Flexts (Flirt-Text)

by schyler churchenquirer staff Writer

Rom

anc

eFauxm

anceWhat did he mean by that?

11page by: R

ebecca Wright &

Kohl B

ryant

Bulldog Enquirer: Do you carry a wallet?Mike Wall: “Abso-lutely!” BE: Is your favorite animal the walrus?MW: “I like the wal-rus”BE: Do you have wallpaper?MW: “I do not have wallpaper.”BE: Do you know the waltz?MW: “I do know the waltz.”BE: Do you pre-fer Walgreens or Walmart?MW: “Walgreens”BE: Do you eat wal-nuts?

MW: “I do eat wal-nuts.”BE: Do you know where waldo is?MW: “I have found Waldo many times.”BE: Do you need a walker?MW: “No, I do not need a walker.”BE: Have you been to Wall street?MW: “I have been to Wall Street.”BE: Do you know anybody named Walt?MW: “Yes, I know somebody named Walt”BE: Do people call you Wally? MW: “Yes people call me Wally.”

Melinda Malispino, English Teacher: “I got married to my Junior Prom date.”

Blaine White, Counselor: “I used to be a secret shopper for Taco Bell and starred in a commercial for Rico’s pizza.”

Sherri Graston, Administrative Assistant: “I’m the baby out of six children in my family, and I learned how to ride a mini bike at age five.”

Barbara Brydon, Science Teacher: “I hiked to the top of Mount Whitney and back in one day.”

What you don’t know about me... by Rebecca WRightenqiuiReR Staff WRiteR Some of our FHS staff would like to share some interesting facts about themselves that nobody would ever suspect.

Nicole Thompson, History Teacher: “I’m addicted to PINTEREST. I love to pin recipes, fashion, and fun ideas.”

David Werra, English and History Teacher: “I have a very sensitive side, and I used to play frisbee and hacky sack in college.”

‘

Mike Wall, Economics Teacherby Kohl bRyant enquiReR Staff WRiteR

11

12

page by: Dallin P

ulsipher

13page by: D

allin Pulsipher

Bridal & Tuxedo Inc.

14

page by: Nam

kha Nguyen

FHS’S TOP TEN MOST WANTED

If you encounter any of these suspects, please call this number: 109-876-FHS-210 ext. bunny. Or you can go up to them and give them a hug. Maybe spend some time together, too. If you need further information, look at the list again. If you need even more info, there is none, sorry.

Raymond Chayo: Math teacher. Crime: Poisoning the minds of children with blasphemous knowledge. Suspected hideout: C106. Alias: Professor Toxic.

Jeanine Robb: Science teacher. Crime: Illegal creation of radioactive chemical compounds. Suspected hideout: HS 202. Alias: The Robber

Cameron Pick: Junior. Crime: Attempt to rid the world of all puppies, kitten, chicks, and other small, cute, and fluffy animals. Suspected hide-out: Dora the Explorer’s backpack. Alias: Mister Cuddly Wuddly.

Kelsey Gasch and Tyler Sams: Junior and Sophomore. Crime: Public streaking across the quad, gym, stadium, and on top of Cluster A. Hideout: Womens Locker Room. Alias: Kelsey Kaboose and Tooting Tyler (Streaking Dynamic Duo).

Keaton Fisher: Fresh-man. Crime: Killing inno-cent citizens with kind-ness. Suspected hideout: Behind any Ronald McDonald’s bench. Alias: Snicker Slinging Slasher or Squakers McFlush.

Alyssa Jara: Senior. Crime: Witchcraft-hypnotizing civil-ians, casting evil spells on children, manipulation of ani-mals, and most wicked laugh. Suspected hideout: The haunted house at the end of Bulldog Street. Alias: Emma Gin Ary.

Allan Zhou: Sophomore. Crime: Overuse of and making of terrible puns - in need of immediate PUNishment. Suspected hideout: school dumpster. Alias: Master PUNgent.

Chris Kwon: Junior. Crime: Self-proclaimed Avatar. Suspected hideout: “I hide behind myself” or in be-tween TaeKWONdo. Alias: Kwontum Kryptonite. Cau-tion: May erupt with invol-untary muscle spasms.

Travis McEntee: Senior. Crime: Paper torturing expert-ripping, burning, crumpling, folding, tearing, shredding, etc. Suspected hideout: Among the tree-tops of the Amazon. Alias: TEAR-or (terror).

Marisa Estipona: Freshman. Crime: Disturbing the peace-intense partying by herself, stuffed animal cruelty, and abuse of imaginary friends. Suspected hideout: Inside a toilet’s tank. Alias: The Lone Ranger.

1. 2. 3. 4.

5. 6. 7.

8. 9. 10.

15page by: S

tephanie Miller &

Juan Salgado

Things you Should NOT Say To Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

My ex did the same

exact thing.

I think those pants are get-

ting a little tight.

Where’s Carter?

You are built like a

man.

by Stephanie Miller tiMeS Staff Writer

Samantha Murray, 10

Can you spot the other teachers: Capovilla, Weldon, Nelson and Rivera.

Jeez, you sound just like your mother

today.

Miles Sabol, 10

Don’t you have a shirt a little

bigger?

Jonathan Yslas,11

Mark Landon, 12

Xander England, 11

I think you should try a

new product to prevent your hair

loss.

Julie Devore, Health Teacher

by Juan Salgado

tiMeS Staff Writer

We should go on a diet

together.

Ben Russell, 10

If my life was a movie, it would be...by Natalia Kacevas eNquirer staff Writer

BATMAN

Caitlin Duffy (10)

(12)

NEMO

Carson Ropp (11)

Shin Young Oh (12)

Chloe Bueb (9)

(10)

(9)

Chloe Bueb (9)

Chloe Bueb (9)

Ariana Tourazani

(9)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Kena Warrick, Councelor

Chloe Bueb (9)

(12)