isabella's interview

7/27/2019 Isabella's Interview

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InterviewWithStevenLing

IsabellaFitzGeraldHarewood

InterviewwithMiddletownresident

WhenIfirstmetPastorStevenLing,Ishylyforcedmywayintothe

MiddletownTrinityChurchsbackofficesandwalkedinonagroupofelderlywomenandhimsittingaroundatablechatting.Iaskedforaninterview,whichhe

seemedverywillingtogive.Thewomenaroundthetablesupportedmyrequest

sayingthathehadsomanygreatthingstosay.WhenItoldhimthatIwouldbe

askinghimaboutthemostsignificantmovieinhislife,hetiltedhisheadbackandthoughtaboutitforabit.Thewomenshoutedoutafewsuggestions,onesI

assumedwerefavoritesoftheirs.Finallyhesaidconfidently,GuessWhosComingto

Dinner.The1960sone.Theoriginal,nottheremake.Didtheymakearemake?The

womenaroundthetableshrugged.Haveyouseenit?IhadntbutIpromisedto

watchbeforewemetagain.Comeagainat11:30nextweek,iftheinterviewcutsintoThursdaysserviceitsalright.Theentirecongregationisalreadyinthisroom

andImsuretheywontmindtomuch.TheyalllaughedandIsaidIdseehimthesametimenextweek.

ButwhenIarrivedatthechurchsbackentrancehewasntthereandIspent,

admittedly,averyenjoyableafternooneatingicecreamwiththeelderlyladies

waitingforthePastorwhonevershowedup.Hecalledmelaterintheeveningto

apologizebecausehehonestlyhadcompletelyforgot.Hewassosincere.Heeven

offeredtodriveandmeetmethefollowingdayatthechurcheventhoughusuallyhe

spendshisFridaysattheTrinityChurchinPortland.ItoldhimIdidntwanttobe

toomuchofaninconveniencebuthesaid,ImtheonewhomadethepromiseandI

amtheonewhomadethemistake.Iamsorrytobetheonetoinconvenienceyou.

Itsnotaninconveniencetome.So,whenIfinallydidsitdownwithhimforthe

interviewthefollowingdayhetookmetothesmallmailroomasanimpromptuoffice.Heretakethecomfychair,hesaid.Heproceededtositdownintheadjacent

chairthat,Idoadmit,lookedalotlesscomfortable.Heisaheaviersetman.Hewas

dressedinapriestsclothingsandwaswearingverysmallglassesthatperchedonhischeeks.Beforewebegantheinterviewthesprinkleroutsideviolentlyhitthe

glasswindowintheroommakingitfeelasthoughwewereinsomeviolentthunderstorm.Itshockedmealittle,buthehardlyseemedtonotice.Hewasready

totalk.Itseemedasifthesprinklerwasapartoftheroomtohim,apartofthewhole

churchmaybe,itdidntevenfazehim.Hegavemeanencouragingsmile.Hewas

readytotalk.

I:Canyoutellmeyouname,titleandwhatyoudohereinMiddletown.

S:Sure.MynameisStevenLing,L-I-N-G,andthepriestintheEpiscopalChurch.I

currentlyserveasrectorfortrinityepiscopalchurchinPortland,andIdolivehere

inMiddletown.

I:Whereareyoufromoriginally?


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S:IamoriginallyfromMichigan.IdidastopinBostonandthencametoConnecticut

in1980andthenleftConnecticutandwenttoPennsylvaniafortwelveyearsand

thencamebacktoConnecticut.

I:Whydidyoudecidetocomebackandstayhere.

S:IcamebackprimarilytodothreeyearsattheYaledivinityschool,andattachedto

thatistheBerkleyDivinitySchoolwhichisoneoftheepiscopalseminariesandIdid

myeducationtoprepareaspriestin2004through2007andthenIwasordainedin

thefallof2007asapriestandthenhaveservedMiddletownandPortlandsincethen.

I:Canyoutellmeaboutyourlifegrowingupandwhatinfluencedyouspecificallyto

becomeapriest.

S:OhthatoneIdontthinkyouhaveenoughspaceonyourmachinetotakethisand

togetitdownreally.Icangiveyoutheabbreviatedonesortof.IntheOldTestamentthereisthebookofJonahandJonahgets,ofcourseeveryoneknows,swallowedby

thisbigfish,whetheritsawhaleorwhateveritis,thebibledoesntgetintoalotof

heavydetailintermsoftheexactspeciesweredealingwith.Butanywaywhatyou

dontalwaysreadintothestoryishowthatbecomespossibleandhowthattakes

placeandyouhaveinitastoryofJonahtryingtomoveawayandavoidthecallfrom

Godtodosomethinginthisorthatorwhatever.Thatprobablyisareallygood

Segwayintomylife.IspentagoodportionofmylifeignoringGod,gettingcaughtup

inthesuccessoftwoothercareersandfinallywhatwecallwithinthechurchthe

stillsmallvoiceofGodbecamethenaggingvoiceandIwasfinallyputinaposition

whereIhadtolistentoitandIdidlistentoitandcouldntignoreit.Itwasatthat

pointthatIstartedmakingsomedecisionsthatwouldallowmetodosomethingnewandsomethingdifferentanditledtoatripbacktoConnecticut,itledmeto

Yale,itledmetoBerkley,itledmethentoMiddletownintermsofworking,itsled

meinanumberofdirections,acrosstheriverintoPortland,allkindsofstuff.

I:Whatwerethetwoothercareersthatyouhadprior?

S:Ispentfiveyearsrightoutofundergraduateschoolteachinghistoryand

governmentandreallyenjoyeditandlikedit.ThenIhadtheopportunitytobeat

therightplaceattherighttimewiththerightpersonandIhadliterallyfoundmyself

spendingallmyfreetimeinmuseumsandIfinallyaskedmyself,well,whyarent

youworkinginone.AndsoIgotanincredibleopportunitytodosomethingthatmostpeopledontgettodointermsofhavingadooropenataparticulartimeina

particularwayandwasabletoenteranewprofessionbasicallywiththehelpof

somepersonwhosawsomethinginmethattheywereinterestedinandthey

thoughtthatIcoulddoagoodjob.ThenIspent26yearsdoingthatindifferent

places.Itwasafabulouscareer,interestingcareer,excitingcareerintermsofprotectingheritageandcaringforartifactsandobjectsandtalkingaboutand


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interpretingandexplainingtheimportanceofsomeoftheseartifactsandobjects,

anditwasagreatcareer.

I:Whydoyouthinkyouweresodrawntomuseums?

S:WellIhadbeenintroducedtomuseumsveryearlyinmylifeaschild,sotheywereaverycomfortableplaceforme,andIhavearealsincereandstronginterestin

historyandgenerallyspeakingmuseumsareoneofthekeyplaces,nottheonly

placebutakeyplace,thatyougotointermsofdealingsometypesofhistoricalstuff.

Thatswhereitskept.

I:Canyougivemeaninstanceofwhenyouwereyoungerwhenyouwenttoamuseumandithadasignificantimpactonyou?

S:Ohyeah.Icantellyoumostturningmomentofmylife.Iwastenyearsold.Itwas1962,11yearsoldIguessbecauseIwasbornin51.Butitwassummerof1962,my

firstvisittotheSmithsonianandmyfirstvisit,whichwasthemostimportantpartofthatsametripIdidtheSmithsonian,Gettysburg,andColonialWilliamsburgintwo

andahalfweeks.ThemostimportantpartofthatwasColonialWilliamsburg.Imet

oneofthetourguidesthere,acostumedtourguidewholiterallyturnedmeonto

thewholeissueofwhatitmeanstoexplainstufftopeopleabouthistoryandIhad

donealittlereadingbeforeIgottheresoIcouldanswersomeofthequestionshe

wasaskingthegroup.Thatgothimexcitedandheendedupdoingasmallshorter

privatetourwithusasafamilyunitbutbecauseofmyinterestandthatswhereit

allstarted.Exactlywhereitallstartedandwhenitallstarted

I:Whatwouldyouconsideryourmostimportantvalues?

S:Thehonestanswertothattrulywouldbethatitdependsonwhattimeofmylife

thatyouretalkingabout.Isillplaceanextremelyhighvalueoneducation.Its

somethingIstresswithmystudentsandIstressedwithmychildrenandwithallkindsofpeople.Educationforsakeofeducationnotjustnecessarilyeducationas

preparationforacareeroreducationthatpigeonholesyouintosomepreparationforsomeparticularjob.IplaceanincrediblevalueonhonestyandIhavemywhole

lifewiththat.IntermsofsomethingIdemandofmyselfandsomethingthatIexpect

frompeoplearoundme.ThenobviouslyasIhavegottenintothislater,well

hopefullyitsnotlateritslatest,phaseofmylife,obviouslywhenyoureapriest

thereisacertainreligiousconnectionyoureexpectedtomake.Youareexpectedto

emulateandexplainandbeagoodexampleofthisandthat.Asmylifehasprogressedthereareprobablysomechangesthere.Although,todayIfeelas

stronglyabouteducationasIdidintheearly70s.Idefinitelyfeelstrongintermsof

honesty.Ihavealwaysbeenareligiousandchurchpersonbutobviouslythats

changedandtheresaslightlydifferentfocuswhenyouretheleaderandnotjusta

laidpersonparticipating.ImnotsureifthatanswersyourequestionornotbutthatssortofhowIfeelwithsomeofthat.AndIamnotsuretheresonethingthatI


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couldboilthatdownto.Idothinkitwouldthreeorfourdifferentthingsthathave

hadnumerouseffects.

I:Isthereanythingthatyouhavecompletelychangedyourmindaboutoverthe

yearsasfarasvalues?

S:Mykidswouldtellyouno:becauseImalwaysright,andhavealwaysbeenright

andcontinuetoalwaysberight.Sothat,whileIdontcompletelybuyintothat

answer,thatistheanswer,andmykidsareintheir40ssotheyhavehadalongtime

tothinkaboutthatandtojokeaboutthat.But,youknow,Iamnotsurethattherehasbeenabigswitch.TherearesomemajorissuesthatIstruggledwithearlyinlife

butIstruggledwithinenoughdetailthatIfeelprettycomfortableintermsofwhereIam.IthinkthebiggeststruggleinthatparticularlinethatIhaverightnowisthatI

findmyselffromtimetotimequestioningmorewhenlifebegins,whichthenopens

thedoorwideopenforsomediscussionaboutabortionoreuthanasiaorsomethingthere.Itusedtobeverycutanddryforme.SomeofthatbecauseIthinkitwasvery

easyformetobeveryliberalandtofindgoodscholarshipwheretherewerereligiouspeoplewhosawtheproblemwhereIsawitintermsofthatdefinition.

MorerecentlyIhavegottenalittlemoreconcernedaboutwhendoweattachvalue

tolifeorwhenislifereallybeginningsuchthattherebecomesamoralproblemora

moralquestionintermsofwhetheryourebeinginvolvedterminatinglife.Idont

thinktherehasbeenamajorchangeyetintermsofwhereIambuttheresamajor

concernthatsprobablyalittlemorefocusedandalittlemoreconcernthatwhat

thereusedtobe.Whenitusedtobemucheasiertobecutanddryanditwasblack

andwhiteandnowIhavenumerousshadesofgreyandcharcoalthatseemtocreep

in.

I:Whatmadeyouconsiderthattopicmore?

S:Well,oneisthatmywifeandIbothhaveadisagreementaboutit.Sheisahealth

careprofessionalandsheseesitmuchdifferentlythanIseeitinherownpersonalmind.Now,Imalsoforcedtolookatitintermsofrepresentativeofthechurchand

whiletheepiscopalchurchisstillveryclosetowhereIampersonallywhenyourerepresentingChristandwhenyourrepresentingthechurchthenitsanawesome

responsibilityintermsofwhatyouopenyourmouthandsaytopeople.Andhow

theytakeitandhowtheyuseit.Itchangesthingsverydramatically.Itusedtobeit

didntmatter.Imean,nobodyisgoingtohearmeanyway,maybesomeofmy

students,butitsnotabigdeal.Butunfortunatelywhenyouputonacollarit

becomesabigdealintermsofwhatsperceived,andwhatistheimportanceofwhatyousay,andhowyoudorepresentJesusChrist.Itssortofdifficult.Itusedtobe

verysimpleandnowitsnotnearlyassimple.Sameissueandobviouslysomeofits

personal.Youcanseethegreyhairstarting.Someofitisreallytherewithendoflife

issuesandwhatresponsibilitydowehavetotheteachingsofthechurchandtoour

Christianbeliefsandwhatresponsibilitydowehavetoourselvesintermsofmakingpotentiallyendoflifedecisionsincaseswherethelifeistrulynotgoingtobe

sustainedandshouldwebeaplayerinthatoristhattrulyGodsresponsibilityand


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notoursandourhandsshouldbeoff,completely.TheseareissuesthatIstruggle

withfromtimetotime.Itrynottodwellonthemtheycertainlydonotconsumemy

wholethinkingandmywholelifebutasIsaidatthebeginning,whenIwasmuch

youngerandbeforeIcametoservicetothechurchitwasreallyeasyanditwas

reallysimpleandnowitsunfortunatelygottenmuchmorecomplicated.

I:Canyoutellmeofaspecificinstancewhenitasdifficult?

S:Oneoftheones,insomewaysitwasntdifficultandinothercasesitwasvery

difficult.Therewasayoungladythesummerof2005.IwasdoingachapelincityrotationatHartfordhospitalandshewasseriouslyinjuredinacaraccident.She

wasagraduatingsenior.Ithadjusthappenedbeforegraduationandherparents,especiallyhermother,wasindenialandwasstandingthereintheemergencyroom,

Iwasthere,acoupleofotherfamilymembers,talkingaboutgeewemighthaveto

reschedulenextweeksgraduationpartythathadalreadybeenplannedandannouncedandeverything.Whatmomwasntseeingwasthatshewasunconscious;

shewasnotevergoingtoregainconsciousness.Shewasbasicallybraindead.Wethenoverthenextweekandahalfhadtostrugglewithmakinganendoflife

decisionforthatgirl.Anddid.Shewasindeedtakenoffoflifesupportandshedid

eventuallydiewithinacertainnumberofhoursthereafterandinsomewaysitwas

verydisturbingbecauseyouknewwhatwasbestforherphysicallybecauseallof

thescansclearlyshowedthattherewasnoactivity,nobrainactivityandthatthe

chancesofherbeingabletorecoveranythingandthechancesofherbeingableto

doanythingwithherlifewerebasicallynonexistent.Ontheotherhand,youstillget

caughtupintherealityofhowtechnologyhaschangedsoquicklyinthelastfew

years.Youfindyourselfsaying,whatif?WhatifIgivethemalittlebitoftimeto

comeupwithsomething?OrGodforbidwhatifthereisamiracle?Ihavenotbeen

fortunateenoughtoseetheboltoflighteningcomeoutoftheskyandzapsomebodyortheflashoflightthattheapostlePaulgotthatcausedhistemporaryblindness.I

havenotwatchedsomeonefeedfivethousandwithtwoloavesandfivefishes.But

thatdoesntmeanthatIdontbelievethatthosethingsdidandcanhappen.Theproblemis,otherthanresurrection,whenyoupulltheplugandsomeonedies.You

pulltheplugandyoudontgetssecondchanceforadoover.So,thatwasastruggleinitselfinitsowntermsofsaying,arewereallydoingtherightthing?Andpartofme

saidyes,absolutely.Thereisnodiscussion,noneedfordiscussion.Thisistheonly

thingwecando.Andyet,youalwayscatchyourselfsaying,geewhatif?Itbecomes

almostamoralquandaryintermsofwhendowedothat.

I:Howdoyoufeelemotionallywhenyouhavetodealwiththosesituations?Ordoyoufeelasifyouhavetocutyourselfoffemotionally?

S:TheanswerIdliketogiveyouisIdontthinkaccuratebutitstrulyananswer.I

dontthinkanyonecancutthemselvesoff.Ithinktherearepeoplewhotalkabout

howtheydoitandIthinkthatpeoplewhotalkagreatgameaboutitbutinmyshortexperienceandfairlyintenseattimeexperience,Idontseehowyoudothat.Ithink

itwouldbegreatifyoucoulddothat,butImnotableto.ItrynottodwellonitandI


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trynottoletitconsumemebutIthinkthereissomeattachmenttherethateven

thoughyoudontwantitIthinkithappensandyousimplymoveforward.Ithink

youcanworktominimizeit.Ithinkitsniceinsomeinstitutions,somehospitals

haveitfairlycutanddryintermsofhavingprotocolsthatneedtobefollowedand

itsalmostgottenlegislatedinsomeways.ButIthinkthebasicquestionthatyou

stillstrugglewith,bottomline,isthebasicquestion.Andpeoplecantlegislatethat.AndsobecauseofthatIdontthinkyouremoveyourselfcompletelyorcanremove

yourselfcompletelyeventhoughpeoplemaytry.Isimplygaveuptryingalongtime

ago.Isawthatwasntgoingtohappen.TherearetimesItrytoworktominimizeit

butIvealreadyfiguredoutthatIdontthinkIcanremoveit.

I:Imgoingtoswitchgears.Imgoingtotalkaboutthemoviethatyoutoldmewasthemostsignificant,GuessWhosComingtoDinner.

S:Oneofthem.

I:Yes,oneofthem.

S:AndcertainlyamemorableonebecauseIpulleditrightoutimmediatelywhen

youfirstaskedme.

I:Iwanttoknowwhyyouwouldconsideritasignificantmovie.

S:Well,Im62.IgrewupwatchingtheMarchonWashington.Igrewwatching

televisionandseeingwhatwashappeningwiththefreedomriders.Igrewup

watchingSelma,AlabamaandBirmingham.IgrewupwatchingMississippiandI

grewup90milesformDetroit.AndgottoDetroitfornumerouskindsofthings.I

sawsomeoftheracialclimatechangeorevolveoveraperiodoftime.Atthetime,thismoviewasmadethismoviewasquitetransformationalandcertainlynot

mainstream.Todaythemovieisho-hum.Butatthetimethemoviewasmadethe

moviewasnotho-hum.Ithinktheresmoretothemoviethanjustthatlayer.Formeitsaverypersonalmovie.Andthepersonalpartofextendsuntiltoday,literallythis

minute.Wehavetwo,fiveandahalfyearoldgrandsonswhoareadopted.Theyreblack.Theissuewillsomedaybe,lookingaround,whyiseveryonewhiteandwere

black.Now,wetreatthem,mywifeandI,mydaughterandson-in-law,andthevast

majorityofmyfamilyastwoboys.Andonceinawhileitmayslipintotwoadopted

boys,becauseyoulookatthemandyouabsolutelyknowthatitsimpossiblethat

theywerenotadopted.Itcannotscientificallywork.Buttherehasneverbeen

withinourfamilygroup,andwegottheseboysrightatthehospitalrightafterbirth,Imeanwearetheonlyrealhomethattheyveknownandwearetheonlyfamily

reallythattheyvesignificantlyorseriouslyinteractedwith.Wearemomanddad

andgrandmaandgrandpa.Andyet,atsomepointwereallgoingtohavetocometo

gripswiththefactwithgeeguesswhoscomingtodinner.Initsownway.Not

exactlyinthesamewayasthemoviebutinitsownway.Thatstoday,fortyyearslater.Thatsnottheissueofthemoviebutinsomewaysitisstilltheissueofthe

moviebecausetherearepeoplestillwhoareconcernedoverracismandhowwe


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treatotherpeople.Therearestillpeoplewhoholdthoseideasthatgetexpressedby

someofthecharactersinthatmoviescript.Thereareliberalswhofindsomehow

thattheyarenotnearlyasliberalastheythoughttheywere.Thismoviethatsnow

aged,reallyisntaged.Itsstillprettycontemporaryanditsstillprettyonlineeven

thoughtheshockvaluedofitisnttherelikeitusedtobe,intermsofwhenitfirst

cameout.Ohmygod,thisblackguyisgoingtobemarryingthiswhitegirl.Youknow,thathappensallthetime.Thatswheretheshockvalueends.Butwasnt

hasntbeentotallyresolvedishowweasasocietyreallyfeelaboutthatorhowwe

asindividualsreacttopeoplewhomaybefamilyorfriendsintermsofbeingcaught

upinthatkindofrelationshipandsituation.AndasIsayevenwithmyowngrandsonsthereisgoingtobeatimewhenweregoingtochatbecauseweregoing

tohavetochat,notthatgrandpawantstochatbuttheresgoingtobeachatintermsofyeah,everybodyswhitebutwecantseemtowashthisoffandNo,I

dontwantyoutowashitoff.Youknow,yourewhoyouare.Andweloveyoufor

whoyouareandnotbecausethecolorofyourskin.AndIthinkthatsinthemovieanditwasntmadetobeinthemovie.ButthatssortofmytakeinhowIviewit.Ido

thinkithasspectacularperformancesfromandactingpointofview.Ithinkitsterrificallthewayaround.IthinkthenaivetyofHoughtonastheDaughterisjust

incredible.SydneyPoitierastheSuitor.Heisjustclassic.Hesbeenoutinthereal

worldandknowsthatthereareproblems.IjustloveSpencerTracyintermsofthis

curmudgeonoldliberalswhoreallyfoughtthefightforanumberofyearsanda

numberoffightsbutnowthatitsinhislivingroom,ohmygod.AndKatherine

Hepburnasthemotherwhowantsthebestandhopesforthebestforherdaughter

andiswillingtoputsomeofthefearonherfaceasidebecausesheissoconvinced

thatherdaughtershappinessissoimportantandwillcarrytheday.Youmixallof

thosefourandthenontopofitaddhisparents,andhisfatherwhoisjustoverthe

topintermsofhisattitudeinadifferentdirection.Themother,whoreallyismore

thoughtfulandseesthepicturemuchcloserthanyourealizeuntilyougetneartheend.ItreallyisIthinkjustaterrificpieceoffilmthatneedstobeshown.Iwilltell

youthatwhenIwasteachingIusedtoshowitinmyclassroomeachyear.Itwasone

thatIwouldshowbecauseIthinkitsterriblyimportantandIthinkitsterriblywelldoneintermsofhowitpresentswhatsgoingonandyougetanumberof

perspectivestolookat.

I:Howdidyoufeelwhenyoufirstsawthefilm?

S:MyhonestanswertothatwasthatitwassolongagothatIdontremembertruly,

andthatismyhonestanswer.IwillgiveyoumydishonestanswerwhichisIsuspect

therewasenoughofajoltthatitstayedwithmeandenoughofajoltthatlessthaneightyearslaterIwasmakingsurethatotherpeoplesawthefilm.Itwasafilmthat

stayedwithme.Imnotgoingtosaythatsomelightcameoninmymindor

somethinglikethatbutithadenoughofaneffectthatitwasntthatmuchlonger

afteritcameoutandIsawitthatIwasliterallyusingitwithstudents.Itwas

somethingthatIthoughtwasimportant.


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I:Maybeyoudontrememberthis,butwhenyousawthefilmwhenyouwere

youngerdidyouidentifywiththecoupleorwiththeparentsandhowdoesthat

comparetowhenyouthinkaboutthefilmnow?

S:Well,IthinkclearlyIidentifiedmorewiththeparentsandthereasonforthatis

thatIhadafatherwho,averylovingmanandaveryinterestingmanbutalsoaveryconfusingman,wasnotwhatwewouldcallsociallyenlightenedandyetoneofmy

sistersbestfriendswasblackandhehadnoproblemwithherorherfamily.Andshe

wouldcomeoverfordinnerconstantly,regularlyisabetterword,andtherewould

alwaysbeacommentaboutwhatherdadwasdoingandaninquiryandwewouldseehermotheraPTAevents.Itwasveryconfusingifnothingelsetohearmyfather

makesomecomments.Itwasasituationwhereitwasliketheywerentblack.Itbecame,obviously,alessonformelateronintermsoftherewerepeoplehedidnt

likeintermsofpeopleofcolorthathedidntknowbutheknewthesepeoplesothey

wereok.AndImakenoapologiesandImakenoexcuse.AcoupleofyearsIgavehimaChristmaspresentandonthetagitsaidtoArchieBunker.Itwasprettyobvious.

Yetatthatsametimeforhim,whichisapieceyouneedtoknow,isthattheywerediscriminatedagainst.Theywerepassedoverforpromotionsbylessqualified

peopleandlesseducatedpeoplesimplybecausethecolorofskin.Iamabsolutely

certainthathadaneffectonsomeofhisfeelingsandsomeofhisthinking.My

motherhandledmuchbetterbutinhiscaseIamcertainhewasrespondingtoboth

oftheirexperiences.AgainImakenoexcusesandnoapologiesbutthatswhat

happened.Formeitwasveryeasyformetoidentifywiththeparentsandespecially

thefatherbecausehereisthislifelongdemocratwhosefather,mygrandfather,was

suchademocratthattheystillhadthepartyleveronthevotingmachine.Theycould

havehadPluto,Mickeymouse,Minniemouseandgoofyontheballotandmy

grandfatherwouldhaveneverhadknownbecausehesimplymovedintohevoting

machine,pulledthepartyleverandwhoeverwasontheballotforthedemocraticpartywaswhohevotedfor.Thatwasit.Itwasreallyeasy.Ittookhimthreetofour

secondstovoteeachyear.Andmyfatherwhogrewupinthatenvironmentandmy

fatherwhopassedsomeofthosevaluesontome,althoughhewouldhavearguedthatIwasscaryandarguedthatImovedbeyondhimandembracedsomeofthatin

adifferentway.Youknow,myfatherwassortofcaughtinthisliberallookandhadtocometogripswiththefactthatgeehewasntasliberalashethoughhewas.I

mean,myowndaughterexpectedtohavethesamekindoffunwithme,shes

lesbianandIaskedherafullyearbeforeshecameoutbecauseyoucouldtellbyher

behavior.Imean,therewaszerosurprisetome.HermotherandIsatdownandwe

triedtodoitnicelyandwetriedtodoitunthreateningly.Itwasjust,geewedliketo

knowifyouareandthatssortofitanditsnotabigdealand,yeah,wehavesomeconcernsbecausethiswasalongtimeagobeforetheygotahandleonwhatwas

happeningwithAIDSandeverythingelse.Thatwasourbigconcernandnot

whethershewasgay.Ourconcernwas,ohmygod,whatshappeninginthegay

communitywithAIDS.Thatwasarealworryandarealproblem.Ithinkshethought

shewasgoingtohavefunwithmeintermsofohmygod,yoursoliberalnowyouregoingtohavetocometogripswithhavingadaughterthatsgay.Icouldcare

less.Well,IcantsayIcouldcarelessbecauseIdont100percentunderstanditbut


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whatitdidreinforcewasthatIknowhowshewasraised.Shedidntwakeupone

morningandlookinthemirrorandsay,geeIthinkIlltrybeinggaytoday.Itsnot

somethingthatshelearned.Itssomethingthatsherandthatwasahelpformebut

yetshethoughtshewasgoingtohavefunImsure.Goodoldliberaldadwhonows

goingtohavetogofaceit.Wellshegotdisappointed.Wellthatstheconnectionfor

me.Itspersonalinmylifeanditspersonalinmygrandchildrensintermsofwhyitsoneoffavoritemoviesbecauseitsnotoveryet.Imgoingtohavetoliveityet.

Andweareallgoingtohavetoliveitasaworldandcertainlyasacountryyet.ButI,

personallyamgoingtohavetoliveitwithmygrandsons.Itscoming.Ijustdont

knowwhen.

I:Whenyouwereyoungerdidyoueverexpecttobefacingsuchsimilarissuesasthoserepresentedinthefilm?

S:Ididtoacertainextent.Maybenotfacethempersonallyassuch.Butwearetalkingaboutatimewhenthecountrywasbeingreallyupendedbyracialdiscord

andracialviolences.Itwasabigdeal.Idontthinkwasanywaytogetaroundthat.

isabella's interview

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