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The Optimist Bloomington High School South What ’s Inside: Pg. 2 Online Courses Pg. 4 Indianapolis Superbowl Pg. 5 Day In The Life: Shirin Ansari Pg. 6 Celebrity Obsessions http://www.bloomingtonsouth.org The teams have been extemporizing practice locations, with options limited to the BHSN pool, the Edgewood pool, the SRSC, the HPER, and the YMCA. In addition to the inconvenient prac- tice locations, the swimmers are practicing late into the school night. “Some nights we practice til 9:30,” said Tichenor. “Tomorrow, we’re practic- ing at the SRSC til 10 p.m.” “I’ve been getting all kinds of phone calls from parents,” said True. “We’re trying to get this thing fixed as soon as possible, and as fast as possible.” Senior Jesse Smith, of the boys’ var- sity swim team, agreed that the situation is inconvenient, but is sympathetic with the administration. “They’re trying to get bids as fast as possible, said Smith. “There’s nothing that could have happened that hasn’t hap- pened already.” The swimmers are not the only ones feeling the effect of the broken heater. “Well, of course the girls are thrilled,” said Marci Volz, South gym teacher. “It’s a little frustrating. We’re having to re- organize [the freshman girls’ gym class] schedule. We won’t be in the pool the next two weeks.” The classes will have to do three days of swimming a week instead of two, post installation. “We’ll get it all in,” said an optimistic Hannah Alani Feature Editor The South boys and girls swimming and diving teams, have been unable to use their own pool for almost four weeks, due to a broken heater. The heater in the pool broke due to problems with the ventilation and wear over time. “The heater has gone kaput,” said South’s Assistant Principal Jay True. “We found out a couple of weeks ago, when I got a message from Mrs. [Meg] Mont- gomery.” True received an email from Mont- gomery, South gym and health teacher, Friday, Jan. 6. The message described the pool’s daily temperatures of that week, with rapid decrease each day. After send- ing a custodian to check out the situation, the office was able to check back in on Monday, Jan. 9, noting of a sizable drop in pool temperature. The swim team stopped practicing in the pool there-after. “We’re working on getting bids from MCCSC,” said True. While True and Di- rector of Planning at the MCCSC Service Building John Carter have been working every day to attain these bids, the heater situation continues to harry the swimmers. Originally 85 degrees Fahrenheit, the pool has dropped to an incredibly cold 71 degrees, nine degrees colder than that of the IUPUI Natatorium and “continues to drop by half a degree each day,” according to Taylor Tichenor, South junior. “It’s not fun swimming in cold water.” “It’s really bad timing, said Tichenor, who is anticipating Sectionals in a few weeks. “We have to practice at different pools around town, and pay lane fees.” Issue 4 January 27, 2012 ABBY TOWELL Swimmers attend practice at Edgewood High School, one of several locations members of South’s swim team have had to practice due to a broken heater. “With problems, you learn how to be a better team. It’s all about rolling with the punches.” - Griffin Walter-Bailey, junior Volz. “We’re flexible.” However, Volz does sympathize with the swim teams. “That’s a real shame, they’re very inconvenienced,” said Volz. “But they’re athletes. They’ll still rack up some records at sectionals. [The swim teams] will not get diminished by this little epi- sode. It’s a pool.” Despite the shivering chats in morn- ing math class, angry parents calling in, and MCCSC predicting today a “best-case scenario” date for new heater installation, according to True, Smith is just as confi- dent in his team as Volz. “Everyone agrees that [the pool water] is cold,” said Smith. “Our motto is ‘Adapt and Overcome.’ We don’t really do nega- tive. If the water is cold, you just have to put your head down and swim.” Teammate Griffin Walter-Bailey agreed, and views the broken heater as an advantage to the team’s performance at sectionals. “I think it’s going to help us,” said Walter-Bailey. “With problems, you learn how to be a better team. It’s all about roll- ing with the punches.” Faulty heater forces South swimmers to head for warmer water

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Issue 3 of Volume 100.

TRANSCRIPT

The OptimistBloomington High School South

What ’s Inside:Pg. 2 Online CoursesPg. 4 Indianapolis SuperbowlPg. 5 Day In The Life: Shirin AnsariPg. 6 Celebrity Obsessions

http://www.bloomingtonsouth.org

The teams have been extemporizing practice locations, with options limited to the BHSN pool, the Edgewood pool, the SRSC, the HPER, and the YMCA. In addition to the inconvenient prac-tice locations, the swimmers are practicing

late into the school night. “Some nights we practice til 9:30,” said Tichenor. “Tomorrow, we’re practic-ing at the SRSC til 10 p.m.” “I’ve been getting all kinds of phone calls from parents,” said True. “We’re trying to get this thing fixed as soon as possible, and as fast as possible.” Senior Jesse Smith, of the boys’ var-sity swim team, agreed that the situation is inconvenient, but is sympathetic with the administration. “They’re trying to get bids as fast as possible, said Smith. “There’s nothing that could have happened that hasn’t hap-pened already.” The swimmers are not the only ones feeling the effect of the broken heater. “Well, of course the girls are thrilled,” said Marci Volz, South gym teacher. “It’s a little frustrating. We’re having to re-organize [the freshman girls’ gym class] schedule. We won’t be in the pool the next two weeks.” The classes will have to do three days of swimming a week instead of two, post installation. “We’ll get it all in,” said an optimistic

Hannah AlaniFeature Editor

The South boys and girls swimming and diving teams, have been unable to use their own pool for almost four weeks, due to a broken heater. The heater in the pool broke due to problems with the ventilation and wear over time. “The heater has gone kaput,” said South’s Assistant Principal Jay True. “We found out a couple of weeks ago, when I got a message from Mrs. [Meg] Mont-gomery.” True received an email from Mont-gomery, South gym and health teacher, Friday, Jan. 6. The message described the pool’s daily temperatures of that week, with rapid decrease each day. After send-ing a custodian to check out the situation, the office was able to check back in on Monday, Jan. 9, noting of a sizable drop in pool temperature. The swim team stopped practicing in the pool there-after. “We’re working on getting bids from MCCSC,” said True. While True and Di-rector of Planning at the MCCSC Service

Building John Carter have been working every day to attain these bids, the heater situation continues to harry the swimmers. Originally 85 degrees Fahrenheit, the pool has dropped to an incredibly cold 71 degrees, nine degrees colder than that of the IUPUI Natatorium and “continues to drop by half a degree each day,” according to Taylor Tichenor, South junior. “It’s not fun swimming in cold water.” “It’s really bad timing, said Tichenor, who is anticipating Sectionals in a few weeks. “We have to practice at different pools around town, and pay lane fees.”

Issue 4 January 27, 2012

ABBY TOWELLSwimmers attend practice at Edgewood High School, one of several locations members of South’s swim team have had to practice due to a broken heater.

“With problems, you learn how to be a better team. It’s all about rolling with the punches.”- Griffin Walter-Bailey, junior

Volz. “We’re flexible.” However, Volz does sympathize with the swim teams. “That’s a real shame, they’re very inconvenienced,” said Volz. “But they’re athletes. They’ll still rack up some records at sectionals. [The swim teams] will not get diminished by this little epi-sode. It’s a pool.” Despite the shivering chats in morn-ing math class, angry parents calling in, and MCCSC predicting today a “best-case scenario” date for new heater installation, according to True, Smith is just as confi-dent in his team as Volz. “Everyone agrees that [the pool water] is cold,” said Smith. “Our motto is ‘Adapt and Overcome.’ We don’t really do nega-tive. If the water is cold, you just have to put your head down and swim.” Teammate Griffin Walter-Bailey agreed, and views the broken heater as an advantage to the team’s performance at sectionals. “I think it’s going to help us,” said Walter-Bailey. “With problems, you learn how to be a better team. It’s all about roll-ing with the punches.”

Faulty heater forces South swimmers to head for warmer water

2THE OPTIMIST JANUARy 27, 2012NEwsIndiana superintendent pushes for mandatory online course for graduation

Gray states require at least one online course for graduation. Dark gray states have legislation which may mandate at least one online course.

Danielle RobertsonStaff Writer

Indiana’s Superintendent of Public In-struction Tony Bennett has suggested a new requirement for high school gradu-ation, one that takes students out of the classroom. In his State of Education address, Ben-nett introduced a proposal requiring all In-diana high schoolers to complete an online course before graduating. “Implementing online coursework would prepare students for a digital and technological age in edu-cation and the economy,” he told The In-dianapolis Star. If the proposal goes through, Indiana will join several other states who have al-ready taken the step towards mandatory online learning, such as Florida and Idaho. Bennett told Indianapolis’ news station, WIBC, that “we should take the lead in this thing.” While some students may view the pro-posal as just another obstacle in the way of receiving their diploma, others view online education as opportune for their own rea-sons. South graduate Luis Garza took three online classes during his time in school and said they were “ideal for [him] because of a crazy schedule,” and also beneficial in the way that he could “do them on [his] own time.

Like Garza, senior Thomas Ruf has also taken multiple classes online and enjoyed being able to do them at his own pace. “I was able to retake classes online that I al-most passed in the classroom but could go really quickly because I already knew the material,” he said. However, both students mentioned sim-ilar drawbacks to online classes, namely the lack of hands-on activities and interac-tion. Garza discussed his concerns about not having an actual teacher to discuss with and ask questions to, feeling as though he “didn’t really comprehend all of the in-formation.” Ruf agreed by saying that he would “much rather be in the actual class,” where the teacher goes beyond the basics and delves deeper into the subject matter. South’s NovaNet coordinator Barb Stork thinks that the legislation is a good idea. “The more experience we can give the stu-dents learning information online the bet-ter,” she said. For Bennett, this new proposal is less about taking away from the traditional classroom experience and more about pro-viding students with what he feels is nec-essary for them to be able to compete in today’s digital age.

Source: The New York Times

THE OPTIMIST3January 27, 2012 News

houses in the downtown area are going for up to $1,000. With hotels completely booked, apartment renting may be the best bet for staying in Indianapolis during the Super Bowl weekend at this point. As for the new downtown J.W. Marriott hotel, the manager was unable to disclose who is staying there for the big weekend. A con-cierge member did say that “all reserva-tions are contracted through the NFL and taken through the NFL website.” Rumor has it that the teams’ players, coaches and staff members will be residing in In-dianapolis’ 34-floor hotel. The manager was able to disclose that all 1,005 rooms are, indeed, booked. Along with lodging, Super Bowl go-ers must also take parking into account. As if parking downtown wasn’t difficult enough, with 150,000+ more people, it will be just about impossible. Boyce pointed out that there are thousands of spaces at the old Indy airport, and shut-tles to the downtown area will be avail-able for $2. The Star also reported that of the 200

downtown restaurants, there are 25,000 seats. “One of the biggest concerns we’ve had from the beginning is there’s not going to be enough seats to feed ev-erybody,” president and CEO of the Indi-ana Restaurant Association, John Liven-good told The Star. Not that all 150,000 Super Bowl attendees will be eating at the same moment, but it is still cause for major concern among restaurants. “I’d like to watch the game downtown at a restaurant, if I can get in, which probably won’t happen, but I will try,” said Kelzer. She also mentioned that restaurants will be “super expensive,” and The Star re-ported that a few restaurants have set or-ders at a minimum of $300 per person. Despite the restaurants’ potential suc-cesses, the city of Indianapolis will sup-port a great majority of the cost. How-ever, the Super Bowl activities will collectively generate “anywhere from $125-400 million dollars” of income said Boyce, “It’s going to be a fan experience like no other...An international spotlight [on Indianapolis.] It will be a whole new level of enthusiasm and fervor.”

Indianapolis prepares for Super Bowl festivities

South alumna and sophomore at Indiana University Rita Cripe plays the trumpet for the IU Marching Hundred.

They will be a part of pregame and halftime performanc-es for this year’s Super Bowl. “It feels unbelievable. I

feel really honored to be going to and performing at the Super Bowl with an amazing group of people,” she said.KARA CIEPLY

A construction trailer parked in front of Lucas Oil Stadium in downtown Indianapolis is part of the ongoing preparations for Super Bowl XLVI.

Kara CieplyNews Editor Four years of preparation by 35 staff members and 8,000 volunteers who have given a total of 150,000 hours of their time. All for 60 minutes of football. Indianapolis will be hosting the 2012 Super Bowl XLVI Feb. 5. “We went from the phase of planning a big idea to execution and implement,” said Diana Boyce, director of communications for Super Bowl XLVI. Super Bowl XLV was watched by a record breaking 111 mil-lion people and is expected to increase greatly this year. Indianapolis itself is going through some big changes. South alumna and senior at the University of Indianapolis Hannah Kelzer has seen the transforma-tion firsthand. “Downtown looks really nice now because the construction wid-ened the streets to help with the incom-ing traffic and to heat downtown Indy.” The Indianapolis Star recently reported that Indianapolis police and social ser-

vice agencies are even hoping to ask the city’s homeless to temporarily relocate for the big week. As the countdown con-tinues, Georgia St., also known as Super Bowl Village, is taking shape. Tents and trailers for the workers and half time per-formers are springing up on the south side of the stadium. “The NFL has taken over the stadium for now. They’re taking care of a lot of the cosmetic changes,” said Boyce. Kelzer plans on staying in Indianapo-lis throughout the hectic week but is rent-ing her apartment out the week leading up to the big day. “My landlord talked to my roommates and I about it and asked if she could rent out the house and she would pay us to do so,” said Kelzer. She’s not the only one cashing in on this opportunity. A recent listing on Craig-slist featured a three bedroom, six bath-room 6,000 square-foot lake view home complete with a personal chauffer to drive either a Bentley or an Escalade. For seven days and nights and only $25,000, this Super Bowl getaway could be yours. However, the typical apartments and

COURTESY PHOTO

4THE OPTIMIST January 27, 2012SPORTS

Dathan Schmidt, senior “My favorite theme is toga night because everyone participates and gets dressed up.”

Savannah Michel, senior“State freshman year is my favorite memory. Even though I was a freshman, I felt like I was part of something huge.”

Kaili Frye, junior“As long as the themes are good, me and all my friends will dress up and go all out during home games.”

Be sure to make it out to the last two home games to support the Panthers.2/17 Perry Meridian 6 p.m2/23 Decatur Central 6 p.m

For the first time in the game against the Edgewood Mustangs, the east side of the gym is silent. Freshman Johnny Jager steps up to shoot a free throw, and the only movement is from South’s student section clad in red, white, and blue holding up the signature spirit fingers. The student section consists of South’s most devoted fans who attend the games in order to aid the team’s performance. It is a beloved tradition for players and students alike; senior Michael Bower explains how The Sixth Man affects the game, “We defi-nitely have an advantage with our student section being so involved in the game and the players feed off the enthusiasm.” The Sixth Man is known for its elabo-rate themes, which relay their school spirit to the opposing teams and makes the games more enjoyable. “The themes are decided

KIRBY ANSTEADSouth’s student section puts their hands up during a free throw at a recent game.

by seniors ahead of time and spread around the school that week by twitter and face-book so everybody gets the memo,” Senior Caleb Baechtold said. The themes on the senior nights usually humorously relate to the according seniors. Bower jokes, “Dustin [Utley’s] fiesta night was by far the best.” The Sixth Man’s twitter account is @Southside6thMan and the facebook page is Bloomington South Basketball. The ranking of the rows tends to go by seniors in front, followed by juniors, and sophomores and freshmen in the back as enforced by upperclassmen. “I’ve always had a blast dressing up in themes and think it’s great how our students all come togeth-er to supports the players. As a dedicated fan of four years I feel a sense of leader-ship in the student section and try to do as much as I can to get everyone involved,”

senior and media coordinator Emma Sul-livan said. The future of the student section is in good hands with juniors Stephen Beall and Logan Letner’s big plans. “It’s going to be very organized considering we al-ready have a list of theme ideas and chants planned,” said Beall. The seniors have big plans for The Sixth Man for the rest of the season, and hope that students and fans will come out to par-ticipate in cheering on the Panthers.

T H E 6 T H M a n

ALLISON WILSONKirby AnsteadStaff WriterAllison WilsonSports Editor

January 27, 2012 FEATURE THE OPTIMIST5

Day in the Lifeof Shirin Ansari

Hannah AlaniFeature Editor

The warm air was bursting with strong smells and bright colors. Profuse mosquito bites, abrasively hot weather and bizarre cuisine comprised most of the memories of 6-year old Shirin Ansari, who refused to eat anything but bread and honey on her trip to India that summer. One night, Ansari heard the voices of her two cousins talking and laughing with their friends. They were gathered in her cousins’ house, dancing to energetic music which caught her ear next. Ansari watched as the group of girls danced a traditional Indian dance to synchronized Bollywood music. Full of joy and fascination, Ansari spent the rest of the night alone, on her grandparents’ rooftop balcony, imitating the dancing. That warm Indian night marked not only the end trip to visit her father’s homeland, but the night that she fell in love with dance. This passion for culture and language would transpire into her career as a high school Spanish teacher, as well as a Zumba and Bollywood DanceFit teacher in her hometown of Bloomington.

After the trip ended, her family returned to Bloomington. Despite be-ing born and raised in America, Ansari’s childhood was full of Indian culture. Her love for dance traveled with her back home to America, and she took many dance classes as a child. However, she had difficulty pursuing lessons in classical Indian dance. “There were no instructors in Bloom-ington,” said Ansari. “I really wanted to learn.” Her cultural pursuits continued when she reached high school and fell in love with the Spanish language and took Span-ish class during all four years of high school. During college, Ansari received the opportunity to study abroad in Ecuador. There, she was able to weave her love of dance into her Latin American experience. “In South America, I learned Latin dance styles like meringa and salsa,” said Ansari. The trip to Ecuador also did her career justice. “I wondered what I was going to do with a Spanish major,” Ansari said. “After I got back from Ecuador, I realized my love of learning the Spanish language.” Influenced by her experience in Ecuador and the teachers she had, Ansari enrolled in education classes, and graduated with a teaching degree. She wouldn’t return to India until her senior year of high school, when she was given the opportunity to spend her second semester learning classical Indian dance in Chennai. “We practiced and performed the dances,” said Ansari. Returning to India as a young-adult, she “appreciated the culture” more. “I ate a lot of food that time.” Ansari would return to India a third time, to study abroad in Bombay during her time at Manchester College. “I loved that it was an ancient art form,” said Ansari. “I was really im-pressed, I felt so appreciative to have learned.”

Her teaching extends outside of the school day, as she learned to incorporate her love of Bollywood and Latin dancing into her daily life by helping teach Bolly-ood and Zumba DanceFit classes at local Panache dance studio. “Lately, I’ve been just helping teach about three times a week,” said Ansari, due to the time taken by caring for her newborn baby girl. Among the many Ansari has intro-duced to Zumba classes, including fellow teacher Abby Gray, is senior and dance team member Jenna Brown. Understand-ing Brown’s passion for dance, Ansari asked her to try a class. Brown fell in love, and became a three-a-week regular. “[Zumba] creates so much positive energy,” said Brown. Today, Brown is testing for her Zumba teaching license. Between her teaching job at South and teaching dance classes at Panache, Ansari is a very busy woman. In June of 2011, Ansari gave birth to Aminia, she and her husband’s second child. He works an eve-ning job at Options for Better Living. “My husband stays with her during the day,” said Ansari. “Sometimes he drops her off at school and she stays with me during Amigos and Spanish club meetings.” Aminia will sometimes even accompany her to Panache classes at night. South French teacher Beth Smith at-tributes Ansari’s abil-ity to juggle activities to her “go-getter” yet

“humble” mentality. “She’s naturally very even-keeled,” said Smith. “She has this temperament about her.” A temperament, which stood out to Smith when the two first met. “I was part of her [job] interview, and she wowed everybody. She came in and had a vision,” said Smith. “She doesn’t want a lot of attention, because she’s so humble.” In her free time, Ansari works on her online grad courses, as she is studying for her Master’s degree in Spanish Ed from IU. Amidst her busy life, Ansari makes sure to incorporate foreign culture into her family’s life, just as her father did. “She lives her culture,” said Smith. “She teaches kids both [languag-es]; raised them to be bilingual.” Ansari’s elder daughter, Ayesha, is an aspiring Bollywood fanatic, room adorned with posters of popular Bollywood musi-cal stars. Her home life is full of music, as her husband is a keyboard player in a Latin band in Indianapolis. “Somewhere I eat and sleep, wherever I can fit that in,” said Ansari.

KEVIN COCHRAN

Ansari helps teach Zumba class at Panache dance studio. Her passion for dance and culture create a unique learning environment.

Ansari instructs her fifth period Spanish class. Ansari’s knowledge of Spanish language and culture helps her educate South students.

ABBY TOWELL

ABBY TOWELL

6THE OPTIMIST January 27, 2012feature

Alek KnapowskiStaff Writer It was a dream come true for Scott Haebearle; he was onstage, with pop star Katy Perry in front of thousands of people, prepared to kiss Perry. Haeberle, who was awestruck, stared deeply into Perry’s beautiful green eyes. She asked him how old he was, and Haeberle, in a state of shock, replied, “I’m 17.” It turned out that Haeberle was too young to kiss the renowned pop star, and he had to leave the stage. Haeberle, a senior, is obsessed with Katy Perry. He recalls spending all of summer 2010 listening to Perry’s hit album, “Teenage Dream.” Haeberle re-members buying ten copies of the album, and distributing them among his friends. He is always uplifted when he listens to Perry’s music, which is one of the reasons he admires her. “The CD was in my car all summer, it was the only thing we listened to,” said Haeberle, who enjoys all of Perry’s music. He still wonders why “Last Friday Night” wasn’t the number one single when it came out. Haeberle isn’t the only one with a celebrity obsession. Gillian Applegate, ju-nior, recalled her admiration for Beyonce beginning her freshman year, when her hit single “Crazy in Love” was released. Applegate’s room is covered with Be-yonce posters. Applegate, an aspiring musician her-self, sees Beyonce as a visionary for pop music. Beyonce served as inspiration for Applegate’s interest in music. Applegate has a profound admiration for Beyonce’s music. In fact, Beyonce’s new song, “Glory,” made tears well up in Applegate’s eyes. “She is genuinely the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” said Applegate, “she hasn’t had any plastic surgery done.” Applegate also made a collage dedicated to her celebrity idol, depicting her unique beauty.

Junior Morgan Chasteen also has an obsession for pop icon Michael Jackson. Chasteen has even dressed up as her hero at school on multiple occasions. “I like everything about him,” she said. “His personality, music, and charity work especially.” Reign Erickson, junior, also has a celebrity obsession. Erickson is obsessed with Nick Jonas, the lead guitarist in the pop rock band, The Jonas Brothers. “He can play a lot of instruments,” said Erickson, “and he’s really dreamy.” Erickson’s infatuation with Nick Jonas began her seventh grade year, when the Jonas Brothers were thrust into the spot-light. Erickson remembers buying of all the Jonas brothers CDs and a few shirts. However, Erickson favors Nick Jonas over his brothers because of his persever-ance and strength; Nick Jonas was diag-nosed with diabetes at the age of thirteen, yet he still became a successful musician.

South students obsessed with celebrities

MADI TAYLORJunior Gillian Applegate proudly holds her homemade Beyonce collage. Be-yonce is Applegate’s favorite celebrity.

Another obsessive fan, Morgan Chasteen, impersonates her hero Michael Jackson in a South hallway.

COURTESY PHOTO

January 27, 2012 Opinion THE OPTIMIST7

Ian HicksCo-Editor-In-Chief After months of campaigning and at least six different frontrunners, the Repub-lican nomination for president has come down to four individuals. Despite the fact that the group to date has been known mainly for the comedic fodder it has pro-vided late-night talk show hosts, anyone who has watched the recent debates closely understands that the flow of ideas has not been lacking. And although Mitt Romney seems poised to win, there is one man who has the ideas to beat him, and that is Rick Santorum. Rick Santorum, a former senator from Pennsylvania has, despite a lack of fund-ing, been making a surge early in 2012. Af-ter a recount, he was declared the winner of the Iowa caucuses, and is a contender in the ultra-conservative South Carolina. Santorum, like all the candidates, would mainly propose decreased taxes and spend-ing cuts. But unique to Santorum is his idea to recuperate manufacturing jobs by elimi-nating all taxes for companies who make their products in the U.S. Although the fis-cal responsibility of the proposal needs to be examined, it is easily the most creative idea of any of the Republican candidates. In that, Santorum is the anti-Romney. Romney, formerly a businessman and gov-ernor of Massachusetts, is easily the most moderate of the group. Romney will be un-likely to get votes from the far right in the primary election, but would potentially be the most likely to pick up independent vot-ers in the general election. Romney, how-ever, lacks originality as a policymaker. His main proposals to create jobs have been the standard cut taxes and lower spending. In that, Romney would in all reality be just another George W. Bush, a center-right politician not quite cut out for the White House.

Stewart Rickert Writing Coach The G.O.P. is on the move. They are looking for something they didn’t have last time. A candidate. But this time, a strong candidate. Not a candidate where a main concern is “what if he dies in office? And if he dies in office, do we really want Miss ‘I can see Russia from my backyard’ with the nuclear codes?” This time, they want a candidate who can stop the Obama politi-cal machine. Their options are Mitt Romney and…Mitt Romney. Sorry Paul, Gingrich, and Santorum. It’s not going to happen. Romney is, however, drawing flack from other Republicans candidates for be-ing too capitalistic and wealthy, because of all of the time he spent working at Bain Capital, an asset management company. (Ironically, at the same time, Obama is drawing flack from the exact same people for being socialist. It’s hard to win.) In ad-dition, he’s drawing fire for not knowing which tax rate he’s under. The problem is, he exudes elitism. All of this aside, Romney is still going to win. The other candidates are too flawed. Gingrich may be the most evil person ever to run for candidate. He is condescending to blacks, saying “the African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps.” He is just evil. Ron Paul has absolutely no economic knowledge, and in an election year domi-nated by talks about the economy, that’s a huge problem. Santorum is far too socially conservative. And he just doesn’t get the position of presidency. His plan is to ille-galize abortion his first day as president. Which just isn’t going to happen. For continued analysis of the 2012 Repub-lican Primary, visit BloomingtonSouth.org

Quinn SternbergCo-Editor-In-Chief

In a time of economic hardship, world violence, and general debauchery, the only important problem plaguing the United States is lack of decent candidates for the upcoming presidential election. Barack Obama proposed solid ideas in his first term in office, but could not implement them effectively, and there are exceedingly few positive attributes pertaining to the conservative candidates. This debacle that our country is faced with is truly troublesome, but the other day as I was volunteering to help find homes for starving children, a thought crossed my mind that could very well save the U.S. from its troubles. Perhaps the only person who is truly capable of carrying out this na-tion’s presidential duties is me. Obviously, I am extremely overquali-fied to lead the executive branch of the government, but because the U.S. is in dire need of a savior, I am willing to accept the mundane role of president and will be en-tering my name into the 2012 election. My policies primarily deal with the expulsion of treasonous citizens. I generally support freedom of speech, but any opposition of my reign would be unpatriotic and unac-ceptable. I’m not particularly concerned about the economy; life is hard and Ameri-

cans need to understand that. The eight years that I am nearly cer-tain to spend in office will introduce a no-nonsense agenda, similar to that of Oliver Cromwell, into a country that I believe has grown too soft. Though punishments for petty crimes such as murder and armed robbery may be lessened, I will not tolerate such offenses as cowardice and horseplay. Naturally, abominations of this propor-tion will result in tar and feathering, if not death. My cabinet and I, all members of the Modern Whig Party, are easily the best politicians the U.S. has to offer, and our policies are sure to be popular. Naturally, members of my remarkably successful Na-tional Honor’s Society campaign entitled “The Good Kind of Threesome” will be reassembled. Jon Salisbury is to be my Vice-President, and Stewart Rickert will serve as Secretary of Defense. I believe Salisbury will provide an air of goofiness that has been missing from the govern-ment since Dick Cheney’s second term as VP ended. Regarding our policies, I’m not particularly concerned. Things should pretty much just work themselves out after I am elected. Don’t even bother voting in this up-coming election. It’s not like anyone be-sides me has a remote chance of winning.

Political Headbutting: Who will emerge from the race for the Republican nomination?

Sternberg: ‘I am the only viable option’

Ian Hicks and Stewart Rickert prepare to do battle politically, while Quinn Stern-berg poses heroically, hoping to put an end to treason once and for all.

PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONSARAH SPENCER

January 27, 2012

The

O

Retro Dance tonight

SOPA vote postponed indefinitely

Patriots in Super Bowl

or Fact FictionThrowback Story

Alek KnapowskiStaff Writer

Rumor has it that school will be starting Aug. 8 next year. However, this statement is false. For the past few weeks, school board meetings have been discussing the possibility of starting Aug. 8, but nothing has been set in stone. “There has only been discussion of the pros and cons of the schedule,” said South teacher Susie Shelton. Along with school starting earlier in the year with more break time during Thanksgiving, there has also been discussion of year-round school. “Although it has been suggested, I can’t speak to that with certainty,” said Shelton. Parents of MCCSC students will have the opportunity to participate in a survey asking which schedule is the most preferable. Even if the new schedule were adopted, it is highly unlikely that it would be introduced next year. The school board makes the final decision, and since the proposals are in the drafting period, it is unlikely that there will be a definitive answer soon.

Back8 The Optimist

Stupid Celebrity Baby Names

Mark ChandlerPhotographer

10. Jermajesty- Son of Jermaine Jackson

9. Zuma Nesta Rock- Daughter of Gwen Stefani

8. Pilot Inspektor- Son of Jason Lee (My Name is Earl)

7. Moon Unit- Son of Frank Zappa

6. Peaches Honeyblossom- Daughter of Paula Yates

5. Sage Moonblood- Son of Sylvester Stallone

4. Audio Science- Daughter of Shannyn Sossaman

3. Blanket Jackson-Son of Michael Jackson

2. Diva Thin Muffin- Other son of Frank Zappa

1. God’iss Love Stone- Daughter of Lil’ Mo

This is the Optimist Newspaper’s 100th year in print! To celebrate, we will be providing “throwback” stories. This story, ran Jan. 31, 1986 after the Chal-lenger explosion.

The OptimistThe Optimist is a student publication of Bloomington

High School South, 1965 S. Walnut St. Bloomington, IN 47401 (812) 330-7714, ext. 2130. It is printed at The Herald-Times in Bloomington. All letters or other submissions should be signed and brought to A125.Editors in Chief: Ian Hicks, Casey Breen, andQuinn SternbergWriting Coach: Stewart RickertNews Editor: Kara Cieply and Emma SullivanFeature Editor: Hannah Alani and Emily FathSports Editor: Allison WilsonOpinion Editor: Sarah SpencerStaff Writers: Kirby Anstead, Chris Campbell, Caitlin Couch, Madi Taylor, Max Zaret, Danielle Robertson, Alek Knapowski, Emma KuhPhoto Editor: Madi TaylorPhotographers: Mark Chandler, Kevin Cochran, Abby Towell, Casey PappAdvisor: Kathleen Mills