Weekly Newsletter from the Headmaster www.shebbearcollege.co.uk

12th October 2018Issue No 178

Dear Parents,

It has been a very busy few days mostly with good weather (today excepted) and therefore, a well-timed late summer blast for our Open Week! I have met over twenty families who have come to look around the school and it has been my pleasure to show them our campus and explain what we have to offer.

Another visitor has been Marcus Trescothick, one of England cricket’s best opening batsmen of the last fifty years. Marcus dropped in as part of his marathon cycle ride to publicise the work that he does with children’s hospices. He then kindly led a coaching session with our U13 cricket squad who won the Graham Harris Cup in the summer – a special reward for all those who played. In return, we gave him one of our best Wednesday curries and set him off on the short forty mile journey to Exeter – we told him it was downhill.

There was a sizeable crowd to watch the 2nd XV match on Wednesday against Plymouth College. This was a well fought game that underlined the increasing strength of our senior rugby squad at the moment. Many spectators could not believe this was not a first team game, given the quality of skills and tackling on show and one former pupil bemoaned the fact that sport was not as good when she was here! Plymouth rallied in the second half to win the game narrowly, but congratulations go to both sets of players and the excellent referee.

Celebrations for the Prep Harvest Festival have once again reminded everyone at school how fortunate they are to live a relatively prosperous life in the UK. Collections were made for food banks in Devon and Cornwall. There was also a mufti day to help raise money for Edukid - the Bideford-based charity that supports children in developing countries.

In a week that included World Mental Health Day, many pupils took time to go to Chapel to remember Ellie Phillips who died last year. Our thoughts and prayers continue to go to her family and friends as they battle to process events.

On Sunday what seems like all of the thin, healthy people of North Devon will turn up onto the school site for the Gliddon Squire cross country run. We were concerned that conditions might be too dry but today’s weather might help the Shebbear ‘mud run’ to return with a vengeance!

Simon Weale

The pupils had a wonderful afternoon playong Quick Cricket with Marcus Trescothick.

Weekly Newsletter from the Headmaster www.shebbearcollege.co.uk

12th October 2018Issue No 178

Prep School News

Dear Parents,

Children, staff and parents from the Prep School gathered in the Chapel on Tuesday afternoon for our Harvest Festival. Many thanks to our Chaplain, Rev. Mark Nightingale, for conducting the service, to all of the families who donated food produce so generously for the Foodbank, and to our parents for helping with refreshments after the service.

Another charity initiative took place today, with Prep children dressing in the colours of the Ugandan flag and having a fundraising event at lunchtime to support the charity Edukid, and also to raise awareness of sleeping conditions for many Ugandan children. Again, our thanks to parents for your generosity supporting such a worthy cause, and to Mrs Willis-Butcher for coordinating the whole event.

Other events during the week, during which we have had a large number of families touring the school as part of Open Week, have included Year 5 visiting Lanhydrock House, sports fixtures against St. Joseph’s and St. Petroc’s for under 9 and under 11 teams respectively, our first pupil School Council meeting of the term and an excellent musical assembly yesterday, where Mr Smith and his Shebbear College Big Band played for the Prep children and spoke about the different instruments in the band. It was also a chance for the children to ask questions, and they certainly seemed to be inspired by what they saw and heard.

The first House assemblies of the year took place this morning, very capably led by our House Captains: Isobel, Albert and Lottie. The topics they chose included the dangers of plastic for the environment, the great outdoors and the RSPCA.

Having competed last week and over the weekend, Harry (on his horse, Billy) finished in second place in the ‘12 and under’ category at the Horse of the Year Show. This is a superb achievement again for Harry, and he certainly seems to have an exciting future ahead, especially considering that he is still just in Year 4 and competing against children several years older than he is. Congratulations also to our golden sticker winners: Lucy, Finley, Lila-Mai, Angus and Albert. Our BAFTA winner was Lizzie, and Charlie won the Manners Medal. Well to them all.

A shorter week ahead, with parents’ evenings, a trip to Rolle Canal for Years 3 and 4 and our first House matches of the term, followed of course, by the start of half-term.

I hope you have a good weekend and the best of luck to our runners taking part in Sunday’s Gliddon and Squire Cross-Country League race here at Shebbear.

Matthew Foale

Weekly Newsletter from the Headmaster www.shebbearcollege.co.uk

12th October 2018Issue No 178

Coming up in the Prep SchoolMonday 15th October3.45pm-5.00pm - U12 Girls Hockey v Holsworthy (H)5.00pm-7.00pm - Prep School Parents’ Evening

Tuesday 16th OctoberAll Day - Year 3 and 4 to Rolle Canal10:15am - Pre School to Hallwood Farm

Wednesday 17th October2.00pm-3.00pm - Year 5 swimming2.45pm-3.30pm - U9 House Matches

Coming up in the Senior School:Tuesday 16th October10.00am-6.00pm - U14 County Hockey Finals (A)2.00pm-4.45pm - U15 Rugby v Bramdean (H)5.00pm-7.00pm - Prep School Parents Evening

Friday 19th October10.00am-6.00pm - U16 County Hockey Finals (A)

Bideford 10 MilerAnyone running the Bideford 10 Miler on Sunday 4th November, please feel free to contact Miss Harvey in the Admissions team who is also running it, and can meet you at the finish line for a Shebbear group photo.

Our boarders had great fun last Friday evening when Survival Lasers provided an evening of exciting laser combat action on our campus.

RNLI 5p CollectionThe children raised £17.10 for the RNLI from their 5p colletion jars. Thanks you very much to all who donated.

RNLI Chapel run this week.

Some advice for parents and carers

Talking mental health with young people at

secondary school

Mental health and wellbeing during secondary school

As parents and carers, it can be hard to know whether your child’s feelings and behaviour are normal or becoming a problem. This is especially during adolescence when young people can feel a great deal of pressure and increasingly want to loosen their family ties.

Young people’s need for independence is partly due to changes in brain development. This makes reading and understanding others more difficult than when they were younger. This can leave parents feeling that young people are in a world of their own, when actually they can be struggling to understand themselves and others!

A rollercoaster of changing emotions and feelings that come and go is completely normal at this age. Feelings and moods that become a problem are those which last a long time, become overwhelming, and stop your child from doing what they want to in their lives.

We know that having strong relationships lies at the heart of good mental health. As parents and carers we also have our own stresses such as money, job security and juggling family demands. These can put pressure on our capacity to respond sensitively to our children.

Talking can be a helpful way for young people to manage their wellbeing as it helps them to make sense of and manage difficult experiences and feelings.

Give your full attention, be curious and take it seriously. We all know it’s not nice to be half listened to. Being actively interested in your child can be a powerful way to help them feel listened to and understood. Try to resist the urge to downplay or dismiss what your child is telling you.

Emphasise that you are always available to talk.It may be that your child doesn’t want to talk, can’t find the words at the moment or is trying to assert their independence. But don’t be misled by your teenager’s need for separation. They need you just as much as ever.

Take time to reflect. Research shows that thinking about what is going on in your child’s mind and being aware of your own thoughts and feelings promotes secure attachment, good social skills and the ability to ‘read’ others.

Provide empathy. When children feel truly understood they start to be able to manage their emotions and this has a big impact on their wellbeing. Using empathy is also a great way to defuse tension.

Be aware of your own stress and negative feelings. They can really get in the way of feeling close to your child. Reflecting on the causes of stress can prevent it from spilling into your relationships at home.

Think about timing. Ask yourself ‘Is this the right time to talk?’ Choose a time when you can focus on your child and ignore distractions.

What should I do if I am worried? You can find some advice and guidance listed on the back of this leaflet. In particular, MindEd for Families provides comprehensive information on a range of mental health problems. If problems persist, become overwhelming or you feel your child is displaying particular symptons, we strongly recommend that you visit your GP.

Top tips for talking

“The teenage years are both exciting and challenging to parents and children. Children start to see a future independent of their parents while parents have to find new ways of protecting a young person who may choose to turn to peers rather than parents for support.

This period can be a confusing and testing time which can be hard for parents. Most young people navigate their way through adolescence. However, for a small number of children problems can become persistent and can threaten the connection between parent and child. Talking early on, before problems become too ingrained, almost always helps.

Sometimes we stop talking because we don’t know what to say. We hope this leaflet may help. Of course, we all know that it’s not always possible to talk, but it is always good to make the offer. Sometimes supportive friends or a trusted adult – perhaps a teacher – can help. Professionals are there, but even if their help is required, it is still good to talk.”

Professor Peter Fonagy, CEO of the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families

It’s good to talk

Supported by

ChildLine for 18s and under0800 1111

Youth Wellbeing Directoryyouthwellbeing.co.uk

Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Familieswww.annafreud.org

About the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families

The Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families has developed and delivered pioneering mental health care for over 60 years.

Our aim is to transform current mental health provision in the UK by improving the quality, accessibility and effectiveness of treatment.

We believe that every child and their family should be at the heart of the care they receive, working in partnership with professionals.

Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families is a company limited by guarantee, company number 03819888, and a registered charity, number 1077106

YoungMinds Parent Helpline0808 802 5544

NSPCC 0808 800 5000

The Mix www.themix.org.uk

MindEd for Familieswww.minded.org.uk/families

Hampstead Site12 Maresfield Gardens, London NW3 5SU

Tel: 020 7794 2313

Old Street Site Jordan House, 47 Brunswick Place, London N1 6EB

Holloway Site 38 Mayton Street, London N7 6QR

Greater Manchester SiteManchester Institute of Education, University of Manchester, Oxford Road, M13, 9PL

Where can I find advice and guidance?Child in Mind: a series of podcasts we have developed at the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families. They feature BBC Radio 4 presenter Claudia Hammond interviewing our clinical experts, and have been shortlisted for the Mind Media Awards. They are freely available at www.annafreud.org:

• What do we know about anxiety and what can parents do about it?

• What is therapy and how does it work?

• What is ADHD and what help is available for children with ADHD?

• Why do some people self-harm?

• What do we know about eating disorders and how to cope?

• What is trauma and how does it affect the brain?

• Is medication for mental health problems safe?

• The adolescent mind

• The impact of sexual material online