jessica interview

7/27/2019 Jessica Interview

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Jessica Perelman

10/5/13

Art of the InterviewInterview with Middletown Resident

Becoming Maude

The inside of Klekolo World Coffee is otherworldly. Menacing gargoyles sit atop

the counter, framed pictures of foreboding skulls dot the walls, and an eerie witch hangs

from the ceiling above the entrance welcoming costumers into this mystical caf. Behindthe counter there are rows upon rows of glass bottles filled with flavored syrups that can

be mixed in endless combinations to produce original, signature drinks such as The

Witches Brew.I feel out-of-place in my mundane blue dress, but the striking woman

standing at the counter seems to fit in seamlessly with the eccentric surroundings. Herappearance is entirely unique: her small elfish face is framed by a pixie cut and her cat

eyeliner accentuates her big brown eyes. She is clad in a floor-length vintage dress that

flatters her tall, slim figure. A dainty silver spoon broach completes the ensemble. It is nosurprise that Middletown resident Samantha Ives is drawn to this offbeat coffee shop.

I first met Samantha while she was working at Broad Street Books. The sincere

kindness and patience with which she treated me, an ordinary customer, along with herintriguing appearance left a great impression on me. Her intrinsic empathy and genuine

curiosity about people become even more apparent as she opened up about the lasting

impact of her favorite movie, Harold and Maude.

Jessica Perelman:How did you first hear about Harold and Maude?

Samantha Ives: I believe the first person that told me about it was actually this kid that I

was dating who was very interested in black comedies and knew about their history andknew that I also liked them and so he recommended it to me.

J: How old were you at the time?

S: I was nineteen going on twenty.

J:How did you know this kid? Were you in college together?

S: Yes, that's where I originally met him. I met him through a mutual friend and after likea year of knowing each other we started dating.

J: Okay, nice. So the first time you watchedHarold and Maude did you watch it together

or were you by yourself?S: We actually did watch it together, yeah.

J: What was your initial reaction to the movie?S: I honestly just wanted to get up and dance and I believe that I did. I recall like literally

standing up on my bed and like jumping around like a child because I felt that it was so

joyous. Like Cat Stevens and the songs that he plays and the way that it totally coincideswith the whole plot. Its just likeIt was perfect.


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J: Were you a fan of Cat Stevens before watching the movie?

S: Yeah. The kid I was dating was not (Laughs). He mostly laughed at me responding in

that way. I don't think he expected that. I'm a classic rock fan and he is not at all.

J:Are you two still together now or is he an ex-boyfriend?

S: Yeah, that ended two years following so I was with him like from nineteen to twenty.

J: Were you surprised at all by anything that happened in the movie? They kind of dupe

you a lot of the time; you think someone is going to die, and then he doesnt. You know

what I mean?S: I think after the very first scene when he's essentially hanging himself, after that passes

and you realize like, "Oh!" Like this is all just his play with his mom and you know that's

their dynamic. After that it just like became really humorous to me. Like it was shocking

at first and then it was just like, okay. You know?

J:Right, right right.

S: But yeah, I like the more graphic nature. By farmy favorite scene is when hes withthe girl, like it's his third date with her.

J: With Maude?

S: No, no. One of the girls that his mom sets him up with.

J: Oh, oh yes.

S: And she's into theater, so like

J: Yes!

S: (Laughs) So, she's like totally into him stabbing himself and like just starts acting with

him and I, I just found that perfect. Yeah.

J:Are you interested in theater at all?

S: Um, I would have loved to have gotten into it earlier. I sense that ability in me to justlike be able to just go for it and be super dramatic and like not care, you know. But I've

never really had the opportunity besides high school and I was busy then. So yeah.

J: So did you explore performing all in college at all?

S: Um, I never considered it.

J:Hm. I'm actually very interested in theater but I probably wont major in it. So whenyou watch this film, or any film, do you find the acting to be an important component?

S: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

J:How would you rate the acting in this film? Did you find it believable?S: I found it believable but in the same sense entertaining. I think it is important that you

have the combination of both, especially with a movie like that. Like it's meant to really

pull out and evoke certain emotions at certain times. So it's important for it to behumorous but then just like go all the way and be super ridiculous but then twenty


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minutes later have this really sentimental scene where you reflect. I think that's why I

enjoy it so much.

J:Is there a particular scene during which you found yourself reflecting upon a theme orsomething in your life?

S: Oh big time. Yeah. It's one of the first scenes where they go out together and they're in,theyre in a garden and Maude is telling...

J:I love that scene! Keep going.

S: And Maude is telling Harold what kind of flower she wanted to be, right? And shesays a sunflowerand she asks him, What, what kind of flower would you like to be?

And he's like, I guess I would be that. And then she's like, "But why? Like, why of all

the flowers you can be, why that?" And he's like, "Because it's the same." And she's just

like, "No it's not the same. It's different." She's like, "See the real weakness in humanityis people who believe they are this and are actually that" And I think this says so much

about the way that Maude affected Harold as a person in the end of the film because

without her he would have never realized how special he was and how significant, youknow? And I think in essence a lot of people feel that way, so yeah.

J:Do you value individuality in your life? Is that something that is important to you?

S: I view individuality as important but more importantly I see self-importance as thegoal, you know?

J:Has there ever been someone in your life whos reminded you of Maude, who broughtthat out in you?

S: Oh yes, yes. My best friend growing up. I've known her now for eight years and there

have been times when we've had separations just because she's going to school over here

and I was over here and we didn't really have as much time together, especially when Iwas in like the 20 range, and I think I was missing that person and I think Maude totally

just reminded me of her because she pulled that out of me, so yeah. It's funny that you

bring that up.

J:Did you call her after watching the movie?

S: I did and you know what she said to me? (Laughs) Her family is very inclined toeverything film and theater so she's been exposed to a lot of really great things and she's

the youngest out of five kids.

J: Wow.S: And she has a twin brother and shes thirteen years apart from her next sister.

J: So from the fourth child?

S: From the fourth child, yes.

J: Wow.

S: So they're like the wonder babies, right? She used to reject like everything that herparents were trying to teach just because that's what the youngest does, you know? And


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when I first told her about it she's like, "Sam, is that that freaky movie where the boy

hangs himself in the beginning?" (Laughs) And she was telling how when she was

younger she saw a glimpse of it and she'll never forget it; she can't get over it. But I waslike, "Lucy we need to go see it, we need to go see it together. C'mon like let's do this."

J:Did you eventually see it together?S: We haven't still so maybe I'll call her tonight and be like, "Let's go. It's time. Yeah.They just did a showing of it. I think it was in Stanford. There's an art gallery there and

they have an outdoor setting where they do films throughout the summer and that was

one of them and I was like, "We need to go. We need to go." You know?

J:And is there anything else about the movie that inspires you in some way, such as the

time period or a theme in the movie?

S: I think one thing and the most important thing possibly...Well of course the clothes areamazing and the whole feeling of it too, its just...I think Maude's being in itself is just

inspirational. It's something that as a person I think we should all strive toward and

appreciate each day just like she does. So more than anything it was just how to approachlife and um, I think um how to face death, too. So yeah.

J:Have you had to deal with any experiences with death in your life?

S: Um, to a, to an extent. I've taken care of um people with special needs and um theyrean older population and one of my closest friends um he um passed away and I was, I

was there throughout the course of everything. And uh so I...I've definitely had an

understanding of death and, and to an extent um...found a...not a, not an appreciation butknowing like how, how powerful it, it is. But then again I think, I think seeing that movie

when I did too definitely influenced the way that I approached my job because like I said

I was working with older people with special needs. It definitely changed my perspective

as far thinking about what they were approaching.

J:Right. Did it make it seem more, almost hopeful? How did it change your perspective

about it?S: Oh absolutely. More hopeful and not necessarily to be seen as a bad thing, more an

endpoint, a fact that you know is going to happen and while we're here, lets make the

best of it, you know.

J:It's interesting that Maude, at the end, actually commits suicide.

S: Right.

J: So what do you make of that? Is that her giving up? Is that her calling the shots?

S: I think it's her throughout the course of her life. I mean she made decisions for herself

and I think her doing that and in that way in no way shape or form was giving up but was

her making her final choice.


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J: Did you find that toward the end of their lives the people you worked with were trying

to make more choices? Trying to be more proactive?

S: Yeah. Within that it was even more complicated than it could ever be. But yeah,absolutely like the person who I spent his last days with made it very clear when he was

younger that he did not want to resuscitate. I find that idea fascinating.

J:Is that also changing how you go about living your life? Is death something that loomsover your head and impacts your decisions; the idea that life does have an end so live life

to the fullest?

S: I don't want to say it drives it, but I feel like I'm always like slightly aware of that. ButI don't find it nearly as important as getting the most out of each moment that I can and

making human connections, which I find is the most important thing, and really not

taking for granted those few moments. I can't say that I've always felt that way but I think

whyHarold and Maude is so great is because I was Harold, so...

J:Really?

S: Yeah.

J: So, at that point in your life, were you feeling very depressed?

S: Yeah. Yeah I was just fairly reserved and I really felt no sense of purpose or

connection. So I very much resonated with Harold and in the same way I fell in love withMaude and her spirit.

J:During the scene in the movie when Harold has this big confession to Maude aboutwhen he saw the police come and his mom reacting to his death he says something like, "I

realized then that I enjoyed being dead." How did that resonate with you?

S: Um, very heavily because in the not too recent past at the time something happened in

my life where I endured something very similar with my parents. So it was just a veryintense moment and it's strange to say that at one point or the other I felt that way, you

know? So even that extent I felt connected.

J:Right! Did watching this movie kind of mark a turning point for you? Was it like a

saving grace?

S: I think there are a lot of different things but I, in no way shape or form, doubt that thatmovie played a big role.

J: That's awesome. Is this a movie that you continually go back to and watch?

S: Oh yeah. What I find fascinating about it is what I connect with and that I connect to itin different ways the more that I watch it. ObviouslyI said earlier that I connected more

with Harold the first time I watched it. Now going back to it, I feel closer to Maude

(Laughs). Like a little bit closer you know and it's, its such a great feeling.

J:Right, right! You were talking before about how you used to be more introverted but

now you love theater, so it seems that you are becoming a more extroverted person.

S: Yeah, yeah.


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J:Are you happy with this transformation that you are undergoing?

S: Yes! Yes. Yes, absolutely. It's not fun being Harold, so(Laughs)

J:I can understand that for sure. Going back, you mentioned your appreciation in humanconnection and I'm wondering if that relates to yourprotest against some forms of

technology? You don't have a phone, you don't have Facebook...S: Right. Yeah, I think it's very cheap. And I appreciate being forced to almost like stepoutside of myself and for others to do the same and like really try, you know?

J: Yeah.S: It's a different experience and something that I'm constantly questioned by, especially

my friends who want to get in touch with me. And I understand but I find it more

gratifying when I find people, or when I meet new people, and they show a genuine

interest and we somehow remain in touch.

J:Human contact is definitely a powerful connection; being physically present as

opposed to just over the computer screen.S: Right, right. Yeah I do this thing now where I'll tell people to like (she snaps her

fingers) snap out of it as soon as they pick up...There's just something about it where you

just like have to keep clicking, too. And I'll see it on their face just like (blows out

through her lips, making wind sound) go back to absolutely nothing just like superfocused and I'll try to snap them out of it and be like, "There's a person in front of you.

Come on. Come on. Let's talk." (Laughs)

J:Is it important to you to feel that you are giving your undivided attention to others and

that they also reciprocate it?

S: I just feel like there are certain parts that you miss if you're not paying attention.

People are constantly distracted by things like Facebook updates and worrying aboutwhether a person is going to get back to them. I just dont get it personally.

J: What are you doing to fill the time that could be spent on Facebook or on the phone?How are you trying to make the most out of your life?

S: I'm trying to have new experiences as much as I can. Like Saturday I impulsively went

to New York City. I went to Brooklyn to visit my friend. I just kind of like shot him an e-mail: "I'm coming to New York. I'll see you at this time." That was the first time that I

ventured there without a phone so that was pretty interesting because I just had to like

remember everything. And I struck up conversations with maybe three or four different

people just to verify where I was going. It would be one question, a simple question, andit would lead to a discussion. So that was kind of cool. Yeah, we went to see some live

music. I got to catch up with him. He had this like landmark thing happen to him the

night before. I was unaware of this...

J: What happened?

S: Um...Well he's 24-years-old and he lost his virginity.


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J: Oh...Did you that know he was a virgin up to that point?

S: (Nods)

J: Okay, okay.

S: Yeah. But I did not know this happened the night before.

J: Wow!S: Yeah, yeah. So that was pretty intense. So I was so excited with him. We were

standing outside of this bar and the bartender actually said, "We were going to check

your IDs because you guys sounded so young out there." Like because (Laughs) we werejumping up and down like hugging each other.

J: That's awesome. That's so great.

S: Everything just ended up working out. So, when I can, whenever I can, I'm going tovisit him and spend more time in the city. I also like taking day trips. I need to go to a

couple of farmsThat's another thing that I do when I'm by myself. I like to knit. That is

like my Zen place.

J:Really?

S: Yeah.

J: When did you start knitting?

S: Probably around 20, too. Yeah.

J: Oh, so relatively recently?

S: Yeah. I was twenty, just like I was when I watchedHarold and Maude.

J: Were almost out of time, but I want to go back to something you mentioned earlier.

What were some of the conversations that you struck up with the people in the city? You

were saying that some of those questions led to conversations.S: Yeah. I asked this one guy about a specific stop or something and then I was just like,

"Oh, so what are you listening to?" And he was just like, "Drake." And he offered me to

listen and I was like, "Alright, alright."

J: (Laughs)

S: You know, and I was like, "So what are you doing here in the city?" And hes like,

"I'm originally from the southern Bronx." And I'm like, "Oh, how's that neighborhood?" Iasked to try to get us talking to each other. And he was like, "It's still pretty rough." And I

was like, "Okay." And then he was explaining to me what he does. He works for a start-

up tech company or something and then he asked me what I'm interested in and why I

was in the city. And so then I said I was visiting my friend and we went through all thenatural conversation points. One thing I told him is that I'm getting into social work and

he was just like, "The world doesn't need people like me, they need people like you." And

I'm like, "Listen, we need you too." (Chuckles) And I was like, "You play a very veryimportant role in society" and I was like, "And so does every single person." And he was


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just like, "That's why you're a social worker." And I was like, (Laughs) "That's why I'm a

social worker." And then, yeah we got off the stop and he said, "Well it was really nice

meeting you." And I was like, "Yeah, do you want to grab a drink?" And he was just like,"Well I'm just going to meet up with my friends." And I was like, "Okay." And he was

like, "And you don't have a phone." And I was like, "I don't." We also talked a little bit

about that.

J:Right.

S: He's like, "And you don't have a phone." He's like, "Okay, well maybe I'll see you

again." And I just like love leaving people with that "Maybe I'll see you again" because itusually happens.

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