jill the reckless

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Title:JilltheReckless

Author:P.G.(PelhamGrenville)Wodehouse

ReleaseDate:February6,2007[EBook#20533][Lastupdated:November10,2011]

Language:English

***STARTOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOKJILLTHERECKLESS***

ProducedbySankarViswanathanandtheOnlineDistributed

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JILLTHERECKLESS

BY

P.G.WODEHOUSE

HERBERTJENKINSLIMITED

3DUKEOFYORKSTREET

ST.JAMES'S,LONDON,S.W.1

*****

TO



MYWIFE

BLESSHER

*****

CONTENTS

CHAPTER

I.THEFAMILYCURSEII.THEFIRSTNIGHTATTHELEICESTERIII.JILLANDTHEUNKNOWNESCAPEIV.THELASTOFTHEROOKESTAKESAHANDV.LADYUNDERHILLRECEIVESASHOCKVI.UNCLECHRISBANGSTHETABLEVII.JILLCATCHESTHE10.10VIII.THEDRY-SALTERSWINGDEREKIX.JILLINSEARCHOFANUNCLE

X.JILLIGNORESAUTHORITYXI.MR.PILKINGTON'SLOVELIGHTXII.UNCLECHRISBORROWSAFLATXIII.THEAMBASSADORARRIVESXIV.MR.GOBLEMAKESTHEBIGNOISEXV.JILLEXPLAINSXVI.MR.GOBLEPLAYSWITHFATEXVII.THECOSTOFAROWXVIII.JILLRECEIVESNOTICEXIX.MRS.PEAGRIMBURNSINCENSEXX.DEREKLOSESONEBIRDANDSECURESANOTHERXXI.WALLYMASONLEARNSANEWEXERCISE

*****

JILLTHERECKLESS

CHAPTERI

THEFAMILYCURSE

I

FreddieRookegazedcoldlyatthebreakfast-table.Throughagleamingeye-glassheinspectedtherevoltingobjectwhichBarker,hisfaithfulman,hadplacedonaplatebeforehim.

"Barker!"Hisvoicehadaringofpain.

"Sir?"

"What'sthis?"



"Poachedegg,sir."

Freddieavertedhiseyeswithasilentshudder.

"Itlooksjustlikeanoldauntofmine,"hesaid."Removeit!"

Hegotup,and,wrappinghisdressing-gownabouthislonglegs,tookupastandinfrontofthefireplace.Fromthispositionhesurveyedtheroom,hisshouldersagainstthemantelpiece,hiscalvespressingtheclubfender.Itwasacheerfuloasisinachillandfoggyworld,atypicalLondonbachelor'sbreakfast-room.Thewallswerearestfulgrey,andthetable,setfortwo,acomfortablearrangementinwhiteandsilver.

"Eggs,Barker,"saidFreddiesolemnly,"aretheacidtest!"

"Yes,sir?"

"If,onthemorningafter,youcantackleapoachedegg,youareallright.Ifnot,not.Anddon'tletanybodytellyouotherwise."

"No,sir."

Freddiepressedthepalmofhishandtohisbrow,andsighed.

"Itwouldseem,then,thatImusthaverevelledatriflewhole-heartedlylastnight.Iwaspossiblyalittleblotto.Notwhiffled,perhaps,butindisputablyblotto.DidImakemuchnoisecomingin?"

"No,sir.Youwereveryquiet."

"Ah!Adashedbadsign!"

Freddiemovedtothetable,andpouredhimselfacupofcoffee.

"Thecreamjugistoyourright,sir,"saidthehelpfulBarker.

"Letitremainthere._Cafénoir_formethismorning.As_noir_asitcanjollywellstick!"Freddieretiredtothefireplaceandsippeddelicately."AsfarasIcanremember,itwasRonnyDevereux'birthdayorsomething...."

"Mr.Martyn's,Ithinkyousaid,sir."

"That'sright.AlgyMartyn'sbirthday,andRonnyandIweretheguests.Itallcomesbacktome.IwantedDerektorollalongandjointhefestivities--he'snevermetRonny--buthegaveitamiss.Quiteright!Achapinhispositionhasresponsibilities.Memberof

Parliamentandallthat.Besides,"saidFreddieearnestly,drivinghomethepointwithawaveofhisspoon,"he'sengagedtobemarried.Youmustrememberthat,Barker!"

"Iwillendeavourto,sir."

"Sometimes,"saidFreddiedreamily,"IwishIwereengagedtobemarried.SometimesIwishIhadsomesweetgirltowatchovermeand....No,Idon't,byJove.Itwouldgivemetheutterpip!IsSirDerekupyet,Barker?"



"Gettingup,sir."

"Seethateverythingisallright,willyou?Imeanasregardsthefood-stuffsandwhatnot.Iwanthimtomakeagoodbreakfast.He'sgottomeethismotherthismorningatCharingCross.She'sleggingitbackfromtheRiviera."

"Indeed,sir?"

Freddieshookhishead.

"Youwouldn'tspeakinthatlight,carelesstoneifyouknewher!Well,you'llseeherto-night.She'scomingheretodinner."

"Yes,sir."

"MissMarinerwillbehere,too.Afoursome.TellMrs.Barkertopulluphersocksandgiveussomethingprettyripe.Soup,fish,allthatsortofthing._She_knows.Andlet'shaveastoupofmalvoisiefromtheoldestbin.Thisisaspecialoccasion!"

"HerladyshipwillbemeetingMissMarinerforthefirsttime,sir?"

"You'veputyourfingeronit!Absolutelythefirsttimeonthisoranystage!Wemustallrallyroundandmakethethingasuccess."

"IamsureMrs.Barkerwillstraineverynerve,sir."Barkermovedtothedoor,carryingtherejectedegg,andsteppedasidetoallowatall,well-builtmanofaboutthirtytoenter."Goodmorning,SirDerek."

"Morning,Barker."

Barkerslidsoftlyfromtheroom.DerekUnderhillsatdownatthetable.Hewasastrikinglyhandsomeman,withastrong,forcefulface,dark,leanandcleanlyshaven.Hewasoneofthosemenwhomastranger

wouldinstinctivelypickoutofacrowdasworthyofnote.Hisonlydefectwasthathisheavyeyebrowsgavehimattimesanexpressionwhichwasalittleforbidding.Women,however,hadneverbeenrepelledbyit.Hewasverypopularwithwomen,notquitesopopularwithmen--alwaysexceptingFreddieRooke,whoworshippedhim.Theyhadbeenatschooltogether,thoughFreddiewastheyoungerbyseveralyears.

"Finished,Freddie?"askedDerek.

Freddiesmiledwanly.

"Wearenotbreakfastingthismorning,"hereplied."Thespiritwaswilling,butthejollyoldfleshwouldhavenoneofit.Tobe

perfectlyfrank,theLastoftheRookeshasabitofahead."

"Ass!"saidDerek.

"Abitofsympathy,"saidFreddie,pained,"wouldnotbeoutofplace.Wearefarfromwell.Somepersonunknownhasputathreshing-machineinsidetheoldbeanandsubstitutedapieceofbrownpaperforourtongue.Thingslookdarkandyellowandwobbly!"

"Youshouldn'thaveoverdoneitlastnight."



"ItwasAlgyMartyn'sbirthday,"pleadedFreddie.

"IfIwereanasslikeAlgyMartyn,"saidDerek,"Iwouldn'tgoaboutadvertisingthefactthatI'dbeenborn.I'dhushitup!"

Hehelpedhimselftoaplentifulportionofkedgeree,Freddiewatchinghimwithrepulsionmingledwithenvy.Whenhebegantoeatthespectaclebecametoopoignantforthesufferer,andhewanderedtothewindow.

"Whatabeastofaday!"

Itwasanappallingday.January,thatgrimmonth,wastreatingLondonwithitsusualseverity.Earlyinthemorningabankoffoghadrolledupofftheriver,andwasdeepeningfrompearlywhitetoaluridbrown.Itpressedonthewindow-panelikeablanket,leavingdark,damprivuletsontheglass.

"Awful!"saidDerek,

"Yourmater'strainwillbelate."

"Yes.Damnednuisance.It'sbadenoughmeetingtrainsinanycase,

withouthavingtohangaboutadraughtystationforanhour."

"Andit'ssure,Ishouldimagine,"wentonFreddie,pursuinghistrainofthought,"tomakethedearoldthingprettytolerablyratty,ifshehasoneofthoseslowjourneys."Hepotteredbacktothefireplace,andrubbedhisshouldersreflectivelyagainstthemantelpiece."ItakeitthatyouwrotetoheraboutJill?"

"Ofcourse.That'swhyshe'scomingover,Isuppose.Bytheway,yougotthoseseatsforthattheatreto-night?"

"Yes.Threetogetherandonesomewhereontheoutskirts.Ifit'sall

thesametoyou,oldthing,I'llhavetheoneontheoutskirts."

Derek,whohadfinishedhiskedgereeandwasnowmakinghimselfablotonFreddie'shorizonwithtoastandmarmalade,laughed.

"Whatarabbityouare,Freddie!Whyonearthareyousoafraidofmother?"

FreddielookedathimasatimidyoungsquiremighthavegazeduponSt.Georgewhenthelattersetouttodobattlewiththedragon.Hewasoftheamiabletypewhichmakesheroesofitsfriends.IntheolddayswhenhehadfaggedforhimatWinchesterhehadthoughtDerekthemostwonderfulpersonintheworld,andthisviewhestillretained.

Indeed,subsequenteventshadstrengthenedit.Derekhaddonethemostamazingthingssinceleavingschool.HehadhadabrilliantcareeratOxford,andnow,intheHouseofCommons,wasalreadylookeduponbytheleadersofhispartyasonetobewatchedandencouraged.Heplayedpolosuperlativelywell,andwasafineshot.ButofallhisgiftsandqualitiestheonethatextortedFreddie'sadmirationinitsintensestformwashislion-likecourageasexemplifiedbyhisbehaviourinthepresentcrisis.Therehesat,placidlyeatingtoastandmarmalade,whiletheboat-traincontainingLadyUnderhillalreadyspedonitswayfromDovertoLondon.ItwaslikeDrakeplayingbowls



withtheSpanishArmadainsight.

"IwishIhadyournerve!"hesaidawed."WhatIshouldbefeeling,ifIwereinyourplaceandhadtomeetyourmateraftertellingherthatIwasengagedtomarryagirlshehadneverseen,Idon'tknow.I'dratherfaceawoundedtiger!"

"Idiot!"saidDerekplacidly.

"Not,"pursuedFreddie,"thatImeantosayanythingintheleastderogatoryandsoforthtoyourjollyoldmater,ifyouunderstandme,butthefactremainsshescaresmepallid.Alwayshas,eversincethefirsttimeIwenttostayatyourplacewhenIwasakid.IcanstillremembercatchinghereyethemorningIhappenedbypurechancetobunganapplethroughherbedroomwindow,meaningtoletacatonthesillbelowhaveitintheshortribs.Shewasatleastthirtyfeetaway,but,byJove,itstoppedmelikeabullet!"

"Pushthebell,oldman,willyou?Iwantsomemoretoast."

Freddiedidashewasrequested,withgrowingadmiration.

"Thecondemnedmanmadeanexcellentbreakfast,"hemurmured."Moretoast,Barker,"headded,asthatadmirableservitoropenedthedoor.

"Gallant!That'swhatIcallit.Gallant!"

Derektiltedhischairback.

"MotherissuretolikeJillwhensheseesher,"hesaid.

"_When_sheseesher!Ah!Butthetroubleis,youngfeller-me-lad,thatshe_hasn't_seenher!That'stheweakspotinyourcase,oldcompanion.Amonthagoshedidn'tknowofJill'sexistence.Now,youknowandIknowthatJillisoneofthebestandbrightest.Asfarasweareconcerned,everythinginthegoodoldgardenislovely.Why,dashit,JillandIwerechildrentogether.Sportedsidebysideonthegreen,andwhatnot.IrememberJill,whenshewastwelve,turning

thegardenhoseonmeandknockingaboutseventy-fivepercentoffthemarketvalueofmybestSundaysuit.Thatsortofthingformsabond,youknow,andI'vealwaysfeltthatshewasacorker.Butyourmater'sgottodiscoveritforherself.It'sadashedpity,byJove,thatJillhasn'tafatheroramotherorsomethingofthatspeciestorallyroundjustnow.Theywouldformagang.There'snothinglikeagang!Butshe'sonlygotthatolduncleofhers.Arummybird.Methim?"

"Severaltimes.Ilikehim."

"Oh,he'sagenialoldbuckallright.Averybonhomouslad.Butyouhearsomeprettyqueerstoriesabouthimifyougetamongpeoplewho

knewhimintheolddays.EvennowI'mnotsodashedsureIshouldcaretoplaycardswithhim.YoungThreepwoodwastellingmeonlytheotherdaythattheoldboytookthirtyquidoffhimatpicquetascleanasawhistle.AndJimmyMonroe,who'sontheStockExchange,sayshe'sfrightfullybusythesetimesbuyingmarginsorwhateveritischappiesdodownintheCity.Margins.That'stheword.JimmymademebuysomemyselfonathingcalledAmalgamatedDyes.Idon'tunderstandtheprocedureexactly,butJimmysaysit'sasoundeggandwilldomeabitofgood.WhatwasItalkingabout?Oh,yes,oldSelby.There'snodoubthe'squiteasportsman.Buttillyou'vegot



Jillwellestablished,youknow,Ishouldn'tenlargeonhimtoomuchwiththemater."

"Onthecontrary,"saidDerek,"Ishallmentionhimatthefirstopportunity.HeknewmyfatheroutinIndia."

"Didhe,byJove!Oh,well,thatmakesadifference."

Barkerenteredwiththetoast,andDerekresumedhisbreakfast.

"Itmaybealittlebitawkward,"hesaid,"atfirst,meetingmother.Buteverythingwillbeallrightafterfiveminutes."

"Absolutely!But,oh,boy!thatfirstfiveminutes!"Freddiegazedportentouslythroughhiseye-glass.Thenheseemedtobeundergoingsomeinternalstruggle,forhegulpedonceortwice."Thatfirstfiveminutes!"hesaid,andpausedagain.Amoment'ssilentself-communion,andhewentonwitharush."Isay,listen.ShallIcomealong,too?"

"Comealong?"

"Tothestation.Withyou."

"Whatonearthfor?"

"Toseeyouthroughtheopeningstages.Breaktheice,andallthatsortofthing.Nothinglikecollectingagang,youknow.Momentswhenafellerneedsafriendandsoforth.Saytheword,andI'llbuzzalongandlendmymoralsupport."

Derek'sheavyeyebrowsclosedtogetherinanoffendedfrown,andseemedtodarkenhiswholeface.Thisunsolicitedofferofassistancehurthisdignity.Heshowedatouchofthepetulancewhichcamenowandthenwhenhewasannoyed,tosuggestthathemightnotpossesssostrongacharacterashisexteriorindicated.

"It'sverykindofyou,"hebeganstiffly.

Freddienodded.Hewasacutelyconsciousofthishimself.

"Somefellows,"heobserved,"wouldsay'Notatall!'Isuppose.ButnottheLastoftheRookes!For,honestly,oldman,betweenourselves,Idon'tmindadmittingthatthisisthebravestdeedoftheyear,andI'mdashedifIwoulddoitforanyoneelse."

"It'sverygoodofyou,Freddie...."

"That'sallright.I'maBoyScout,andthisismyactofkindnessforto-day."

Derekgotupfromthetable.

"Ofcourseyoumustn'tcome,"hesaid."Wecan'tformasortofdebatingsocietytodiscussJillontheplatformatCharingCross."

"Oh,Iwouldjusthangaroundintheoffing,shovinginanoccasionaltactfulword."

"Nonsense!"



"Thewheezewouldsimplybeto...."

"It'simpossible."

"Oh,verywell,"saidFreddie,damped."Justasyousay,ofcourse.Butthere'snothinglikeagang,oldson,nothinglikeagang!"

II

DerekUnderhillthrewdownthestumpofhiscigar,andgruntedirritably.InsideCharingCrossStationbusinesswasproceedingasusual.Porterswheelingbaggage-trucksmovedtoandfrolikeJuggernauts.Belatedtrainsclankedin,gladtogethome,whileothers,lessfortunate,creptreluctantlyoutthroughtheblacknessanddisappearedintoaninfernoofdetonatingfog-signals.Foroutsidethefogstillheld.Theairwascoldandrawandtastedcoppery.Inthestreettrafficmovedatafuneralpace,totheaccompanimentofhoarsecriesandoccasionalcrashes.Oncethesunhadworkeditswaythroughthemurkandhadhungintheskylikeagreatredorange,butnowallwasdarknessanddiscomfortagain,blendedwiththatoddsuggestionofmysteryandromancewhichisaLondonfog'sonlyredeemingquality.

ThefogandthewaitinghadhadtheireffectuponDerek.TheresolutefronthehadexhibitedtoFreddieatthebreakfast-tablehadmeltedsincehisarrivalatthestation,andhewasfeelingnervousattheprospectofthemeetingthatlaybeforehim.CalmashehadappearedtotheeyeofFreddieandbravelyashehadspoken,Derek,intherecessesofhisheart,wasafraidofhismother.Therearemen--andDerekUnderhillwasoneofthem--whoneverwhollyemergefromthenursery.Theymayputawaychildishthingsandriseintheworldtoaffluenceandsuccess,butthehandthatrockedtheircradlestillrulestheirlives.

Derekturnedtobeginonemorewalkalongtheplatform,andstoppedinmid-stride,raging.Beamingoverthecollarofaplaidgreatcoat,all

helpfulnessanddevotion,FreddieRookewasadvancingtowardshim,thefriendthatstickethcloserthanabrother.Likesomelovingdog,who,orderedhomesneakssoftlyonthroughalleysandby-ways,peepingroundcornersandcrouchingbehindlamp-posts,thefaithfulFreddiehadfollowedhimafterall.Andwithhim,toaddthelasttouchtoDerek'sdiscomfiture,werethosetwoinseparablealliesofhis,RonnyDevereuxandAlgyMartyn.

"Well,oldthing,"saidFreddie,pattingDerekencouraginglyontheshoulder,"hereweareafterall!Iknowyoutoldmenottorollroundandsoforth,butIknewyoudidn'tmeanit.Ithoughtitoverafteryouhadleft,anddecideditwouldbearottentricknottoclusteraboutyouinyourhourofneed.Ihopeyoudon'tmindRonnyandAlgy

breezingalongtoo.Thefactis,Iwasinthedeuceofafunk--yourjollyoldmateralwaysratherparalysesmynerve-centres,youknow--soIropedthemin.Met'eminPiccadilly,gropingaboutfortheclub,andconscripted'emboth,theyverydecentlyconsenting.Wealltoddledoffandhadapick-me-upatthatchemistchappie'satthetopoftheHay-market,andnowwe'refeelingfullofbeansandbuck,readyforanything.I'veexplainedthewholethingtothem,andthey'rewithyoutothedeath!Collectagang,dearboy,collectagang!That'sthemotto.There'snothinglikeit!"



"Nothing!"saidRonny.

"Absolutelynothing!"saidAlgy.

"We'lljustseeyouthroughtheopeningstages,"saidFreddie,"andthenlegit.We'llkeeptheconversationgeneralyouknow."

"Stopitgettingintopainfulchannels,"saidRonny.

"Steeritclear,"saidAlgy,"ofthetouchytopic."

"That'sthewheeze,"saidFreddie."We'll...Oh,golly!There'sthetraincominginnow!"Hisvoicequavered,fornoteventhecomfortingpresenceofhistwoalliescouldaltogethersustainhiminthisordeal.Buthepulledhimselftogetherwithamanfuleffort."Stickit,oldbeans!"hesaiddoughtily."Nowisthetimeforallgoodmentocometotheaidoftheparty!"

"We'rehere!"saidRonnyDevereux.

"Onthespot!"saidAlgyMartyn.

III

Theboat-trainslidintothestation.Bellsrang,enginesblewoffsteam,portersshouted,baggage-trucksrattledovertheplatform.Thetrainbegantogiveupitscontents,nowinonesandtwos,nowinasteadystream.Mostofthetravellersseemedlimpandexhausted,andwerepalewiththepallorthatcomesofachoppyChannelcrossing.Almosttheonlyexceptiontothegeneralconditionofcollapsewastheeagle-facedladyinthebrownulster,whohadtakenupherstandinthemiddleoftheplatformandwasharanguingasubduedlittlemaidinavoicethatcutthegloomyairlikeasteelknife.Liketheothertravellers,shewaspale,butsheboreupresolutely.NoonecouldhavetoldfromLadyUnderhill'sdemeanourthatthesolidplatformseemedtoheavebeneathherfeetlikeadeck.

Derekapproached,acutelyconsciousofFreddie,Ronny,andAlgy,whowereskirmishingabouthisflank.

"Well,mother!Sothereyouareatlast!"

"Well,Derek!"

Derekkissedhismother.Freddie,Ronny,andAlgyshuffledcloser,likeleopards.Freddie,withtheexpressionofonewholeadsaforlornhope,movedhisAdam'sapplebrisklyupanddownseveraltimes,andspoke.

"Howdoyoudo,LadyUnderhill?"

"Howdoyoudo,Mr.Rooke?"

LadyUnderhillbowedstifflyandwithoutpleasure.ShewasnotfondoftheLastoftheRookes.ShesupposedtheAlmightyhadhadsomewisepurposeincreatingFreddie,butithadalwaysbeeninscrutabletoher.

"Likeyou,"mumbledFreddie,"tomeetmyfriends.LadyUnderhill.Mr.



Devereux."

"Charmed,"saidRonnyaffably.

"Mr.Martyn."

"Delighted,"saidAlgywithold-worldcourtesy.

LadyUnderhillregardedthismob-scenewithaneyeofice.

"Howdoyoudo?"shesaid."Haveyoucometomeetsomebody?"

"I--er--we--er--why--er--"ThiswomanalwaysmadeFreddiefeelasifhewerebeingdisembowelledbysomeclumsyamateur.HewishedthathehaddefiedthedictatesofhisbetternatureandremainedinhissnugroomsattheAlbany,allowingDerektogothroughthisbusinessbyhimself."I--er--we--er--cametomeet_you_,don'tyouknow!"

"Indeed!Thatwasverykindofyou!"

"Oh,notatall."

"Thoughtwe'dwelcomeyoubacktotheoldhomestead,"saidRonnybeaming.

"Whatcouldbesweeter?"saidAlgy.Heproducedacigar-case,andextractedaformidabletorpedo-shapedHavana.Hewasfeelingdelightfullyathisease,andcouldn'tunderstandwhyFreddiehadmadesuchafussaboutmeetingthisniceoldlady."Don'tmindifIsmoke,doyou?Air'sabitrawto-day.Getsintothelungs."

Derekchafedimpotently.Theseunsoughtalliesweremakingadifficultsituationathousandtimesworse.AmoreacuteobserverthanyoungMr.Martyn,henotedthetightlinesabouthismother'smouthandknewthemforthedanger-signaltheywere.Endeavouringtodistractherwithlightconversation,heselectedasubjectwhichwasalittleunfortunate.

"Whatsortofcrossingdidyouhave,mother?"

LadyUnderhillwinced.AcurrentofairhadsenttheperfumeofAlgy'scigarplayingabouthernostrils.Sheclosedhereyes,andherfaceturnedashadepaler.Freddie,observingthis,feltquitesorryforthepooroldthing.Shewasapestandapotofpoison,ofcourse,butallthesame,hereflectedcharitably,itwasashamethatsheshouldlooksogreenaboutthegills.Hecametotheconclusionthatshemustbehungry.Thethingtodowastotakehermindoffittillshecouldbeconductedtoarestaurantanddumpeddowninfrontofabowlofsoup.

"Bitchoppy,Isuppose,what?"hebellowed,inavoicethatranupanddownLadyUnderhill'snervoussystemlikeanelectricneedle."IwasafraidyouweregoingtohaveaprettyroughtimeofitwhenIreadtheforecastinthepaper.Thegoodoldboatwobbledabit,eh?"

LadyUnderhillutteredafaintmoan.Freddienoticedthatshewaslookingdeucedlychippy,evenchippierthanamomentago.

"It'sanextraordinarythingaboutthatChannelcrossing,"saidAlgyMartynmeditatively,ashepuffedarefreshingcloud."I'veknown



fellowswhocouldtravelquitehappilyeverywhereelseintheworld--roundtheHorninsailing-shipsandallthatsortofthing--yielduptheirimmortalsoulcrossingtheChannel!Absolutelyyielduptheirimmortalsoul!Don'tknowwhy.Rummy,butthereitis!"

"I'mlikethatmyself,"assentedRonnyDevereux."ThatdashedtripfromCalaisgetsmeeverytime.Bowlsmerightover.Igoaboard,stokedtotheeyebrowswithsea-sickremedies,swearingthatthistimeI'llfool'em,butdownIgotenminutesafterwe'vestartedandthenextthingIknowissomebodysaying,'Well,well!SothisisDover!'"

"It'sexactlythesamewithme,"saidFreddie,delightedwiththesmooth,easywaytheconversationwasflowing."Whetherit'sthehot,greasysmelloftheengines...."

"It'snottheengines,"contendedRonnyDevereux."Standstoreasonitcan'tbe.Iratherlikethesmellofengines.Thisstationisreekingwiththesmellofengine-grease,andIcandrinkitinandenjoyit."Hesniffed,luxuriantly."It'ssomethingelse."

"Ronny'sright,"saidAlgycordially."Itisn'ttheengines.It'sthewaytheboatheavesupanddownandupanddownandupanddown...."HeshiftedhiscigartohislefthandinordertogivewithhisrightaspiritedillustrationofaChannelsteamergoingupanddownandup

anddownandupanddown.LadyUnderhill,whohadopenedhereyes,hadanexcellentviewoftheperformance,andclosedhereyesagainquickly.

"Bequiet!"shesnapped.

"Iwasonlysaying...."

"Bequiet!"

"Oh,rather!"

LadyUnderhillwrestledwithherself.Shewasawomanofgreat

will-powerandaccustomedtotriumphovertheweaknessesoftheflesh.Afterawhilehereyesopened.Shehadforcedherself,againsttheevidenceofhersenses,torecognizethatthiswasaplatformonwhichshestoodandnotadeck.

Therewasapause.Algy,damped,wastemporarilyoutofaction,andhisfriendshadforthemomentnothingtoremark.

"I'mafraidyouhadatryingjourney,mother,"saidDerek."Thetrainwasverylate."

"Now,_train_-sickness,"saidAlgy,comingtothesurfaceagain,"isathinglotsofpeoplesufferfrom.Nevercouldunderstanditmyself."

"I'veneverhadatouchoftrain-sickness,"saidRonny.

"Oh,Ihave,"saidFreddie."I'veoftenfeltrottenonatrain.Igetfloatingspotsinfrontofmyeyesandasortofheavingsensation,andeverythingkindofgoesblack...."

"Mr.Rooke!"

"Eh?"



"Ishouldbegreatlyobligedifyouwouldkeepthoseconfidencesfortheearofyourmedicaladviser."

"Freddie,"intervenedDerekhastily,"mymother'srathertired.Doyouthinkyoucouldbegoingaheadandgettingataxi?"

"Mydearoldchap,ofcourse!Getyouoneinasecond.Comealong,Algy.Pickuptheoldwaukeesis,Ronny."

AndFreddie,accompaniedbyhishenchmen,ambledoff,wellpleasedwithhimself.Hehad,hefelt,helpedtobreaktheiceforDerekandhadseenhimsafelythroughthoseawkwardopeningstages.Nowhecouldtotteroffwithalightheartandgetabiteoflunch.

LadyUnderhill'seyesglittered.Theyweresmall,keen,blackeyes,unlikeDerek's,whichwerelargeandbrown.Intheirotherfeaturesthetwowereobviouslymotherandson.Eachhadthesamelongupperlip,thesamethin,firmmouth,theprominentchinwhichwasafamilycharacteristicoftheUnderhills,andthejuttingUnderhillnose.MostoftheUnderhillscameintotheworldlookingasthoughtheymeanttodrivetheirwaythroughlifelikeawedge.

"Alittlemore,"shesaidtensely,"andIshouldhavestruckthose

unspeakableyoungmenwithmyumbrella.OneofthethingsIhaveneverbeenabletounderstand,Derek,iswhyyoushouldhaveselectedthatimbecileRookeasyourclosestfriend."

Dereksmiledtolerantly.

"Itwasmoreacaseofhimselecting_me_.ButFreddieisquiteagoodfellowreally.He'samanyou'vegottoknow."

"_I_havenotgottoknowhim,andIthankheavenforit!"

"He'saverygood-naturedfellow.ItwasdecentofhimtoputmeupattheAlbanywhileourhousewaslet.Bytheway,hehassomeseatsfor

thefirstnightofanewpiecethisevening.HesuggestedthatwemightalldineattheAlbanyandgoontothetheatre."Hehesitatedamoment."Jillwillbethere,"hesaid,andfelteasiernowthathernamehadatlastcomeintothetalk."She'slongingtomeetyou."

"Thenwhydidn'tshemeetme?"

"Here,doyoumean?Atthestation?Well,I--Iwantedyoutoseeherforthefirsttimeinpleasantersurroundings."

"Oh!"saidLadyUnderhillshortly.

Itisadisturbingthoughtthatwesufferinthisworldjustasmuch

bybeingprudentandtakingprecautionsaswedobybeingrashandimpulsiveandactingasthespiritmovesus.IfJillhadbeenpermittedbyherwaryfiancétocomewithhimtothestationtomeethismotheritiscertainthatmuchtroublewouldhavebeenavoided.True,LadyUnderhillwouldprobablyhavebeenrudetoherintheopeningstagesoftheinterview,butshewouldnothavebeenalarmedandsuspicious;or,rather,thevaguesuspicionwhichshehadbeenfeelingwouldnothavesolidified,asitdidnowintodefinitecertaintyoftheworst.AllthatDerekhadeffectedbyhiscarefuldiplomacyhadbeentoconvincehismotherthatheconsideredhis



bride-electsomethingtobebrokengentlytoher.

Shestoppedandfacedhim.

"Whoisshe?"shedemanded."Whoisthisgirl?"

Derekflushed.

"IthoughtImadeeverythingclearinmyletter."

"Youmadenothingclearatall."

"Byyourleave!"chantedaporterbehindthem,andabaggage-truckclovethemapart.

"Wecan'ttalkinacrowdedstation,"saidDerekirritably."Letmegetyoutothetaxiandtakeyoutothehotel....WhatdoyouwanttoknowaboutJill?"

"Everything.Wheredoesshecomefrom?Whoareherpeople?Idon'tknowanyMariners."

"Ihaven'tcross-examinedher,"saidDerekstiffly."ButIdoknowthatherparentsaredead.HerfatherwasanAmerican."

"American!"

"Americansfrequentlyhavedaughters,Ibelieve."

"Thereisnothingtobegainedbylosingyourtemper,"saidLadyUnderhillwithsteelycalm.

"Thereisnothingtobegained,asfarasIcansee,byallthistalk,"retortedDerek.Hewonderedvexedlywhyhismotheralwayshadthispowerofmakinghimlosecontrolofhimself.Hehatedtolosecontrolofhimself.Itupsethim,andblurredthatvisionwhichhelikedtohaveofhimselfasacalm,importantmansuperiortoordinary

weaknesses."JillandIareengaged,andthereisanendtoit."

"Don'tbeafool,"saidLadyUnderhill,andwasdrivenawaybyanotherbaggage-truck."Youknowperfectlywell,"sheresumed,returningtotheattack,"thatyourmarriageisamatterofthegreatestconcerntomeandtothewholeofthefamily."

"Listen,mother!"Derek'slongwaitonthedraughtyplatformhadgeneratedanirritabilitywhichovercamethedeep-seatedaweofhismotherwhichwastheresultofyearsofdefeatinbattlesofthewill."LetmetellyouinafewwordsallthatIknowofJill,andthenwe'lldropthesubject.Inthefirstplace,sheisalady.Secondly,shehasplentyofmoney...."

"TheUnderhillsdonotneedtomarryformoney."

"Iamnotmarryingformoney!"

"Well,goon."

"Ihavealreadydescribedtoyouinmyletter--veryinadequately,butIdidmybest--whatshelookslike.Hersweetness,herlovableness,allthesubtlethingsaboutherwhichgotomakeherwhatsheis,you



willhavetojudgeforyourself."

"Iintendto!"

"Well,that'sall,then.Sheliveswithheruncle,aMajorSelby...."

"MajorSelby?Whatregiment?"

"Ididn'taskhim,"snappedthegoadedDerek."And,inthenameofheaven,whatdoesitmatter?IfyouareworryingaboutMajorSelby'ssocialstanding,Imayaswelltellyouthatheusedtoknowfather."

"What!When?Where?"

"Yearsago.InIndia,whenfatherwasatSimla."

"Selby?Selby?NotChristopherSelby?"

"Oh,yourememberhim?"

"Icertainlyrememberhim!NotthatheandIevermet,butyourfatheroftenspokeofhim."

Derekwasrelieved.Itwasabominablethatthissortofthingshould

matter,butonehadtofacefacts,and,asfarashismotherwasconcerned,itdid.ThefactthatJill'sunclehadknownhisdeadfatherwouldmakeallthedifferencetoLadyUnderhill.

"ChristopherSelby!"saidLadyUnderhillreflectively."Yes!Ihaveoftenheardyourfatherspeakofhim.HewasthemanwhogaveyourfatheranI.O.U.topayacarddebt,andredeemeditwithachequewhichwasreturnedbythebank!"

"What!"

"Didn'tyouhearwhatIsaid?Iwillrepeatit,ifyouwish."

"Theremusthavebeensomemistake."

"Onlytheoneyourfathermadewhenhetrustedtheman."

"Itmusthavebeensomeotherfellow."

"Ofcourse!"saidLadyUnderhillsatirically."NodoubtyourfatherknewhundredsofChristopherSelbys!"

Derekbithislip.

"Well,afterall,"hesaiddoggedly,"whetherit'strueornot...."

"Iseenoreasonwhyyourfathershouldnothavespokenthetruth."

"Allright.We'llsayit_is_true,then.Butwhatdoesitmatter?IammarryingJill,notheruncle."

"Nevertheless,itwouldbepleasanterifheronlylivingrelativewerenotaswindler!...Tellme,whereandhowdidyoumeetthisgirl?"

"Ishouldbegladifyouwouldnotrefertoheras'thisgirl.'The



name,ifyouhaveforgottenit,isMariner."

"Well,wheredidyoumeetMissMariner?"

"AtPrince's.JustafteryouleftforMentone.FreddieRookeintroducedme."

"Oh,yourintellectualfriendMr.Rookeknowsher?"

"Theywerechildrentogether.HerpeoplelivednexttotheRookesinWorcestershire."

"IthoughtyousaidshewasanAmerican."

"Isaidherfatherwas.HesettledinEngland.Jillhasn'tbeeninAmericasinceshewaseightornine."

"Thefact,"saidLadyUnderhill,"thatthegirlisafriendofMr.Rookeisnogreatrecommendation."

Derekkickedangrilyataboxofmatcheswhichsomeonehadthrowndownontheplatform.

"Iwonderifyoucouldpossiblygetitintoyourhead,mother,thatI

wanttomarryJill,notengageherasanunder-housemaid.Idon'tconsiderthatsherequiresrecommendations,asyoucallthem.However,don'tyouthinkthemostsensiblethingisforyoutowaittillyoumeetheratdinnerto-night,andthenyoucanformyourownopinion?I'mbeginningtogetalittleboredbythisfutilediscussion."

"Asyouseemquiteunabletotalkonthesubjectofthisgirlwithoutbecomingrude,"saidLadyUnderhill,"Iagreewithyou.Letushopethatmyfirstimpressionwillbeafavourableone.Experiencehastaughtmethatfirstimpressionsareeverything."

"I'mgladyouthinkso,"saidDerek,"forIfellinlovewithJilltheveryfirstmomentIsawher!"

IV

Barkersteppedbackandsurveyedwithmodestpridethedinner-tabletowhichhehadbeenputtingthefinishingtouches.Itwasanartisticjobandacredittohim.

"That'sthat!"saidBarker,satisfied.

Hewenttothewindowandlookedout.Thefogwhichhadlastedwellintotheevening,hadvanishednow,andtheclearnightwasbrightwithstars.Adistantmurmuroftrafficcamefromthedirectionof

Piccadilly.

Ashestoodthere,thefront-doorbellrang,andcontinuedtoringinlittlespurtsofsound.Ifcharactercanbededucedfrombell-ringing,asnowadaysitapparentlycanbefromeveryotherformofhumanactivity,onemighthavehazardedtheguessthatwhoeverwasontheothersideofthedoorwasdetermined,impetuous,andenergetic.

"Barker!"



FreddieRookepushedatousledhead,whichhadyettobebrushedintothesmoothsleeknessthatmadeadelighttothepubliceye,outofaroomdownthepassage.

"Sir?"

"Somebodyringing."

"Iheard,sir.Iwasabouttoanswerthebell."

"Ifit'sLadyUnderhill,tellherI'llbeininaminute."

"IfancyitisMissMariner,sir.IthinkIrecognizehertouch."

Hemadehiswaydownthepassagetothefront-door,andopenedit.Agirlwasstandingoutside.Sheworealonggreyfurcoat,andafilmyhoodcoveredherhair.AsBarkeropenedthedoor,shescamperedinlikeagreykitten.

"Brrh!It'scold!"sheexclaimed."Hullo,Barker!"

"Goodevening,miss."

"AmIthelastorthefirstorwhat?"

Barkermovedtohelpherwithhercloak.

"SirDerekandherladyshiphavenotyetarrived,miss.SirDerekwenttobringherladyshipfromtheSavoyHotel.Mr.Rookeisdressinginhisbedroomandwillbereadyveryshortly."

Thegirlhadslippedoutofthefurcoat,andBarkercastaswiftglanceofapprovalather.Hehadthevalet'sunerringeyeforathoroughbred,andJillMarinerwasmanifestlythat.Itshowedinherwalk,ineverymoveofhersmall,activebody,inthewayshelookedatyou,inthewayshetalkedtoyou,inthelittletiltofherresolutechin.Herhairwaspalegold,andhadthebrightnessof

colouringofachild's.Herfaceglowed,andhergreyeyessparkled.Shelookedverymuchalive.

Itwasthislivelinessofhersthatwasherchiefcharm.Hereyesweregoodandhermouth,withitssmall,eventeeth,attractive,butshewouldhavelaughedifanybodyhadcalledherbeautiful.ShesometimesdoubtedifsheWereevenpretty.Yetfewmenhadmetherandremainedentirelyundisturbed.Shehadamagnetism.Onehaplessyouth,whohadlaidhisheartatherfeetandhadbeencommandedtopickitupagain,hadendeavouredsubsequentlytoexplainherattraction(toabosomfriendoveramournfulbottleofthebestintheclubsmoking-room)inthesewords:"Idon'tknowwhatitisabouther,oldman,butshesomehowmakesafellerfeelshe'ssodamned_interested_inachap,if

youknowwhatImean."Andthoughnotgenerallycreditedinhiscirclewithanygreatacuteness,thereisnodoubtthatthespeakerhadachievedsomethingapproachingatrueanalysisofJill'sfascinationforhissex.ShewasinterestedineverythingLifepresentedtohernotice,fromaCoronationtoastraycat.Shewasvivid.Shehadsympathy.Shelistenedtoyouasthoughyoureallymattered.Ittakesamanoftoughfibretoresistthesequalities.Women,ontheotherhand,especiallyoftheLadyUnderhilltype,canresistthemwithoutaneffort.



"Goandstirhimup,"saidJill,alludingtotheabsentMr.Rooke."Tellhimtocomeandtalktome.Where'sthenearestfire?Iwanttogetrightoveritandhuddle."

"Thefire'sburningnicelyinthesitting-room,miss."

Jillhurriedintothesitting-room,andincreasedherholdonBarker'sesteembyexclaimingrapturouslyatthesightthatgreetedher.Barkerhadexpendedtimeandtroubleoverthesitting-room.Therewasnodust,nountidiness.Thepicturesallhungstraight;thecushionsweresmoothandunrumpled;andafireofexactlytherightdimensionsburnedcheerfullyinthegrate,flickeringcosilyonthesmallpianobythecouch,onthedeepleatherarm-chairswhichFreddiehadbroughtwithhimfromOxford,thathomeofcomfortablechairs,andonthephotographsthatstuddedthewalls.Inthecentreofthemantelpiece,theplaceofhonour,wasthephotographofherselfwhichshehadgivenDerekaweekago.

"You'resimplywonderful,Barker!Idon'tseehowyoumanagetomakearoomsocosy!"Jillsatdownontheclubfenderthatguardedthefireplace,andheldherhandsovertheblaze."Ican'tunderstandwhymenevermarry.Fancyhavingtogiveupallthis!"

"Iamgratifiedthatyouappreciateit,miss.Ididmybesttomakeit

comfortableforyou.IfancyIhearMr.Rookecomingnow."

"Ihopetheotherswon'tbelong.I'mstarving.HasMrs.Barkergotsomethingverygoodfordinner?"

"Shehasstrainedeverynerve,miss."

"ThenI'msureit'sworthwaitingfor.Hullo,Freddie."

FreddieRooke,resplendentineveningdress,bustledin,pattinghistiewithsolicitousfingers.Ithadbeenrightwhenhehadlookedintheglassinhisbedroom,butyouneverknowaboutties.Sometimestheystayright,sometimestheywriggleupsideways.Lifeisfullof

theseanxieties.

"Ishouldn'ttouchit,"saidJill."Itlooksbeautiful,and,ifImaysaysoinconfidence,ishavingamostdisturbingeffectonmyemotionalnature.I'mnotatallsureIshallbeabletoresistitrightthroughtheevening.Itisn'tfairofyoutotrytoalienatetheaffectionsofanengagedyoungpersonlikethis."

Freddiesquinteddown,andbecamecalmer.

"Hullo,Jill,oldthing.Nobodyhereyet?"

"Well,I'mhere--the_petite_figureseatedonthefender.Butperhaps

Idon'tcount."

"Oh,Ididn'tmeanthat,youknow."

"Ishouldhopenot,whenI'veboughtaspecialnewdressjusttofascinateyou.AcreationImean.Whentheycostasmuchasthisonedid,youhavetocallthemnames.Whatdoyouthinkofit?"

Freddieseatedhimselfonanothersectionofthefender,andregardedherwiththeeyeofanexpert.Asnappydresser,asthetechnicalterm



is,himself,heappreciatedsnapintheoutercoveringoftheothersex.

"Topping!"hesaidspaciously."Nootherwordforit.Allwoolandayardwide.Preciselyasmothermakesit.Youlooklikeathingummy."

"Howsplendid.AllmylifeI'vewantedtolooklikeathingummy,butsomehowI'veneverbeenabletomanageit."

"Awood-nymph!"exclaimedFreddie,inaburstofunwontedimagery.Helookedatherwithhonestadmiration."Dashit,Jill,youknow,there'ssomethingaboutyou!You're--what'stheword?--you'vegotsuchsmallbones."

"Ugh!Isupposeit'sacompliment,buthowhorribleitsounds!Itmakesmefeellikeaskeleton."

"Imeantosay,you're--you'redainty!"

"That'smuchbetter."

"Youlookasifyouweighedaboutanounceandahalf.Youlooklikeabitofthistledown!You'realittlefairyprincess,dashit!"

"Freddie!Thisiseloquence!"Jillraisedherlefthand,andtwiddledaringedfingerostentatiously."Er--you_do_realizethatI'mbespoke,don'tyou,andthatmyheart,alas,isanother's?Becauseyousoundasifyouweregoingtopropose."

Freddieproducedasnowyhandkerchief,andpolishedhiseye-glass.Solemnitydescendedonhimlikeacloud.HelookedatJillwithanearnest,paternalgaze.

"Thatremindsme,"hesaid."Iwantedtohaveabitofatalkwithyouaboutthat--beingengagedandallthatsortofthing.I'mgladIgotyoualonebeforetheCursearrived."

"Curse?DoyoumeanDerek'smother?Thatsoundscheerfulandencouraging."

"Well,sheis,youknow,"saidFreddieearnestly."She'sabird!Itwouldbeidletodenyit.ShealwaysputsthefearofGodintome.Ineverknowwhattosaytoher."

"Whydon'tyoutryaskingherriddles?"

"It'snojokingmatter,"persistedFreddie,hisamiablefaceovercast."Waittillyoumeether!Youshouldhaveseenheratthestationthismorning.Youdon'tknowwhatyou'reupagainst!"

"Youmakemyfleshcreep,Freddie.WhatamIupagainst?"

Freddiepokedthefirescientifically,andassisteditwithcoal.

"It'sthisway,"hesaid."Ofcourse,dearoldDerek'sthefinestchapintheworld."

"Iknowthat,"saidJillsoftly.ShepattedFreddie'shandwithalittlegestureofgratitude.Freddie'sdevotiontoDerekwasathingthatalwaystouchedher.Shelookedthoughtfullyintothefire,and



hereyesseemedtoglowinsympathywiththeglowingcoals."There'snobodylikehim!"

"But,"continuedFreddie,"healwayshasbeenfrightfullyunderhismother'sthumb,youknow."

Jillwasconsciousofalittleflickerofirritation.

"Don'tbeabsurd,Freddie.HowcouldamanlikeDerekbeunderanybody'sthumb?"

"Well,youknowwhatImean!"

"Idon'tintheleastknowwhatyoumean."

"Imean,itwouldberatherrottenifhismothersethimagainstyou."

Jillclenchedherteeth.Thequicktemperwhichalwayslurkedsoverylittlebeneaththesurfaceofhercheerfulnesswasstirred.Shefeltsuddenlychilledandmiserable.ShetriedtotellherselfthatFreddiewasjustanamiableblundererwhospokewithoutsenseorreason,butitwasnouse.Shecouldnotridherselfofafeelingofforebodinganddiscomfort.Ithadbeentheonejarringnoteinthesweetmelodyofherlove-story,thisapprehensionofDerek'sregardinghismother.

TheDerekshelovedwasastrongman,withastrongman'scontemptforotherpeople'scriticism;andtherehadbeensomethingignobleandfussyinhisattituderegardingLadyUnderhill.Shehadtriedtofeelthattheflawinheridoldidnotexist.AndherewasFreddieRooke,amanwhoadmiredDerekwithallhishero-worshippingnature,pointingitoutindependently.Shewasannoyed,andsheexpendedherannoyance,aswomenwilldo,upontheinnocentbystander.

"DoyourememberthetimeIturnedthehoseonyou,Freddie,"shesaid,risingfromthefender,"yearsago,whenwewerechildren,whenyouandthatawfulMasonboy--whatwashisname?WallyMason--teasedme?"ShelookedattheunhappyFreddiewithahostileeye.Itwashisblunderingwordsthathadspoiledeverything."I'veforgottenwhatit

wasallabout,butIknowthatyouandWallyinfuriatedmeandIturnedthegardenhoseonyouandsoakedyoubothtotheskin.Well,allIwanttopointoutisthat,ifyougoontalkingnonsenseaboutDerekandhismotherandme,IshallaskBarkertobringmeajugofwater,andIshallemptyitoveryou!Sethimagainstme!Youtalkasiflovewereathinganythirdpartycouldcomealongandturnoffwithatap!Doyousupposethat,whentwopeopleloveeachotherasDerekandIdo,thatitcanpossiblymatterintheleastwhatanybodyelsethinksorsays,evenifitishismother?Ihaven'tgotamother,butsupposeUncleChriscameandwarnedmeagainstDerek...."

Herangersuddenlyleftherasquicklyasithadcome.ThatwasalwaysthewaywithJill.Onemomentshewouldberaging;thenext,something

wouldticklehersenseofhumourandrestoreherinstantlytocheerfulness.Andthethoughtofdear,lazyoldUncleChristakingthetroubletowarnanybodyagainstanythingexceptthewrongbrandofwineoraninferiormakeofcigarconjuredupapicturebeforewhichwrathmeltedaway.Shechuckled,andFreddie,whohadbeenwiltingonthefender,perkedup.

"You'reanextraordinarygirl,Jill.Oneneverknowswhenyou'regoingtogetthewindup."



"Isn'titenoughtomakemegetthewindup,asyoucallit,whenyousayabsurdthingslikethat?"

"Imeantwell,oldgirl!"

"That'sthetroublewithyou.Youalwaysdomeanwell.Yougoabouttheworldmeaningwelltillpeopleflytoputthemselvesunderpoliceprotection.Besides,whatonearthcouldLadyUnderhillfindtoobjecttoinme?I'veplentyofmoney,andI'moneofthemostcharmingandattractiveofSocietybelles.Youneedn'ttakemywordforthat,andIdon'tsupposeyou'venoticedit,butthat'swhatMr.Gossipinthe _MorningMirror_calledmewhenhewaswritingaboutmygettingengagedtoDerek.Mymaidshowedmetheclipping.Therewasquitealongparagraph,withapictureofmethatlookedlikeaZuluchieftainesstakeninacoal-cellarduringabadfog.Well,afterthat,whatcouldanyonesayagainstme?I'maperfectprize!IexpectLadyUnderhillscreamedwithjoywhensheheardthenewsandwentsingingalloverherRivieravilla."

"Yes,"saidFreddiedubiously."Yes,yes,oh,quiteso,rather!"

Jilllookedathimsternly.

"Freddie,you'reconcealingsomethingfromme!You_don't_thinkI'm

acharmingandattractiveSocietybelle!TellmewhynotandI'llshowyouwhereyouarewrong.Isitmyfaceyouobjectto,ormymanners,ormyfigure?TherewasayoungbrideofAntigua,whosaidtohermate,'Whatapigyouare!'Saidhe,'Oh,myqueen,isitmannersyoumean,ordoyoualludetomyfig-u-ar?'Isn'tmyfiguarallright,Freddie?"

"Oh,_I_thinkyou'retopping."

"Butforsomereasonyou'reafraidthatDerek'smotherwon'tthinkso.Whywon'tLadyUnderhillagreewithMr.Gossip?"

Freddiehesitated.

"Speakup!"

"Well,it'slikethis.Remember,I'veknowntheolddevil...."

"FreddieRooke!Wheredoyoupickupsuchexpressions?Notfromme!"

"Well,that'showIalwaysthinkofher!IsayI'veknownhereversinceIusedtogoandstopattheirplacewhenIwasatschool,andIknowexactlythesortofthingsthatputherbackup.She'sawhat-d'you-call-it.Imeantosay,oneoftheoldschool,don'tyouknow.Andyou'resodashedimpulsive,oldgirl.Youknowyouare!Youarealwayssayingthingsthatcomeintoyourhead."

"Youcan'tsayathingunlessitcomesintoyourhead."

"YouknowwhatImean,"Freddiewentonearnestly,nottobedivertedfromhistheme."Yousayrummythingsandyoudorummythings.WhatImeantosayis,you'reimpulsive."

"WhathaveIeverdonethatthesternestcriticcouldcallrummy?"

"Well,I'veseenyouwithmyowneyesstopinthemiddleofBond



Streetandhelpalotoffellowsshovealongacartthathadgotstuck.Mindyou,I'mnotblamingyouforit...."

"Ishouldhopenot.Thepooroldhorsewastryingallheknewtogetgoing,andhecouldn'tquitemakeit.Naturally,Ihelped."

"Oh,Iknow.Verydecentandallthat,butIdoubtifLadyUnderhillwouldhavethoughtalotofit.Andyou'resodashedchummywiththelowerorders."

"Don'tbeasnob,Freddie."

"I'mnotasnob,"protestedFreddie,wounded."WhenI'malonewithBarker--forinstance--I'maschattyasdammit.ButIdon'taskwaitersinpublicrestaurantshowtheirlumbagois."

"Haveyoueverhadlumbago?"

"No."

"Well,it'saverypainfulthing,andwaitersgetitjustasbadlyasdukes.Worse,Ishouldthink,becausethey'realwaysbendingandstoopingandcarryingthings.Naturallyonefeelssorryforthem."

"Buthowdoyoueverfindoutthatawaiterhas_got_lumbago?"

"Iaskhim,ofcourse."

"Well,forgoodness'sake,"saidFreddie,"ifyoufeeltheimpulsetodothatsortofthingto-night,tryandrestrainit.Imeantosay,ifyou'recurioustoknowanythingaboutBarker'schilblains,forinstance,don'tenquireafterthemwhilehe'shandingLadyUnderhillthepotatoes!Shewouldn'tlikeit."

Jillutteredanexclamation.

"Iknewtherewassomething!Beingsocoldandwantingtorushinand

crouchoverafireputitcleanoutofmyhead.Hemustbethinkingmeaperfectbeast!"Sherantothedoor."Barker!Barker!"

Barkerappearedfromnowhere.

"Yes,miss?"

"I'msosorryIforgottoaskbefore.Howareyourchilblains?"

"Agooddealbettermiss,thankyou."

"DidyoutrythestuffIrecommended?"

"Yes,miss.Itdidthemaworldofgood."

"Splendid!"

Jillwentbackintothesitting-room.

"It'sallright,"shesaidreassuringly."They'rebetter."

Shewanderedrestlesslyabouttheroom,lookingatthephotographs,thensatdownatthepianoandtouchedthekeys.Theclockonthe



mantelpiecechimedthehalf-hour."Iwishtogoodnesstheywouldarrive,"shesaid.

"They'llbehereprettysoon,Iexpect."

"It'sratherawful,"saidJill,"tothinkofLadyUnderhillracingallthewayfromMentonetoParisandfromParistoCalaisandfromCalaistoDoverandfromDovertoLondonsimplytoinspectme.Youcan'twonderI'mnervous,Freddie."

Theeye-glassdroppedfromFreddie'seye.

"Are_you_nervous?"heasked,astonished.

"OfcourseI'mnervous.Wouldn'tyoubeinmyplace?"

"Well,Ishouldneverhavethoughtit."

"WhydoyousupposeI'vebeentalkingsuchalot?WhydoyouimagineIsnappedyourpoor,innocentheadoffjustnow!I'mterrifiedinside,terrified!"

"Youdon'tlookit,byJove!"

"No,I'mtryingtobealittlewarrior.That'swhatUncleChrisalwaysusedtocallme.Itstartedthedaywhenhetookmetohaveatoothout,whenIwasten.'Bealittlewarrior,Jill!'hekeptsaying.'Bealittlewarrior!'AndIwas."Shelookedattheclock."ButIshan'tbeiftheydon'tgetheresoon.Thesuspenseisawful."Shestrummedthekeys."Supposeshe_doesn't_likeme,Freddie!Youseehowyou'vescaredme."

"Ididn'tsayshewouldn't.Ionlysaidyou'dgottowatchoutabit."

"Somethingtellsmeshewon't.Mynerveisoozingoutofme."Jillshookherheadimpatiently."It'sallsovulgar!Ithoughtthissortofthingonlyhappenedinthecomicpapersandinmusic-hallsongs.

Why,it'sjustlikethatsongsomebodyusedtosing."Shelaughed."Doyouremember?Idon'tknowhowtheversewent,but...

Johntookmeroundtoseehismother,hismother,hismother!Andwhenhe'dintroducedustoeachother,ShesizedupeverythingthatIhadon.Sheputmethroughacross-examination:Ifairlyboiledwithaggravation:Thensheshookherhead,Lookedatmeandsaid:'PoorJohn!PoorJohn!'

Chorus,Freddie!Let'scheerourselvesup!Weneedit!"

Johntookmeroundtoseehismother...!

"Hism-o-o-other!"croakedFreddie.Curiouslyenough,thisballadwasoneofFreddie'sfavourites.HehadrendereditwithagooddealofsuccessonthreeseparateoccasionsatvillageentertainmentsdowninWorcestershire,andheratherflatteredhimselfthathecouldgetaboutasmuchoutofitasthenextman.HeproceededtoabetJill



heartilywithgruffsoundswhichhewasundertheimpressionconstitutedwhatisknowninmusicalcirclesas"singingseconds."

"Hismo-o-other!"hegrowledwithfrightfulscorn.

"Andwhenhe'dintroducedustoeachother...."

"O-o-o-other!"

"ShesizedupeverythingthatIhadon!"

"Pom-_pom_-pom!"

"Sheputmethroughacross-examination...."

Jillhadthrownherheadback,andwassingingjubilantlyatthetopofhervoice.Theappositenessofthesonghadcheeredherup.Itseemedsomehowtomakeherforebodingsratherridiculous,toreducethemtoabsurdity,toturnintofarcethegatheringtragedywhichhadbeenweighinguponhernerves.

Thensheshookherhead,Lookedatmeandsaid:'PoorJohn!'....

"Jill,"saidavoiceatthedoor."Iwantyoutomeetmymother!"

"Poo-oo-oorJohn!"bleatedthehaplessFreddie,unabletocheckhimself.

"Dinner,"saidBarkerthevalet,appearingatthedoorandbreakingasilencethatseemedtofilltheroomlikeatangiblepresence,"isserved!"

CHAPTERII

THEFIRSTNIGHTATTHELEICESTER

I

Thefront-doorclosedsoftlybehindthetheatre-party.Dinnerwasover,andBarkerhadjustbeenassistingtheexpeditionoutoftheplace.Sensitivetoatmosphere,hehadfoundhisshareinthedinneralittletrying.Ithadbeenastrainedmeal,andwhathelikedwasaclatterofconversationandeverybodyhavingagoodtimeandenjoyingthemselves.

"Ellen!"calledBarker,asheproceededdownthepassagetotheemptydining-room."Ellen!"

Mrs.Barkerappearedoutofthekitchen,wipingherhands.Herworkfortheevening,likeherhusband's,wasover.Presentlywhatistechnicallycalleda"usefulgirl"wouldcomeintowashupthedishes,leavingtheeveningfreeforsocialintercourse.Mrs.Barkerhaddonewellbyherpatronsthatnight,andnowshewantedaquietchatwithBarkeroveraglassofFreddieRooke'sport.



"Havetheygone,Horace?"sheasked,followinghimintothedining-room.

BarkerselectedacigarfromFreddie'shumidor,crackleditagainsthisear,smeltit,clippedofftheend,andlitit.Hetookthedecanterandfilledhiswife'sglass,thenmixedhimselfawhisky-and-soda.

"Happydays!"saidBarker."Yes,they'vegone!"

"Ididn'tseeherladyship."

"Youdidn'tmissmuch!Anasty,dangerousspecimen,_she_is!'Alwaysmerryandbright,'Idon'tthink.Iwishyou'dhavehadmyjobofwaitingon'em,Ellen,andmebeentheonetostayinthekitchensafeoutofitall.That'sallIsay!It'snotreatto_me_to'andthedisheswhentheatmosphere'swhatyoumightcallelectric.Ididn'tenvythemthat_vol-au-vent_ofyours,Ellen,goodasitsmelt.Betteradinnerof'erbswhereloveisthanastalledoxand'atredtherewith,"saidBarker,helpinghimselftoawalnut.

"Didtheyhavewords?"

Barkershookhisheadimpatiently.

"Thatsortdon'thavewords,Ellen.Theyjustsitandgoggle."

"HowdidherladyshipseemtohititoffwithMissMariner,Horace?"

Barkerutteredadrylaugh.

"Everseenacoupleofstrangedogswatchingeachothersortofwary?Thatwasthem!NotthatMissMarinerwasn'tallthatwaspleasantandnice-spoken.She'sallright,MissMarineris.She'salittlequeen.Itwasn'therfaultthedinneryou'dtooksomuchtroubleoverwasmorelikeaneveningintheMorguethanaChristiandinner-party.She

triedtohelpthingsalongbestshecould.ButwhatwithSirDerekchewinghislip'alfthetimeandhismotheractingaboutasmateyasapennorthofice-cream,shedidn'thaveachance.Asfortheguv'nor--well,Iwishyoucouldhaveseenhim,that'sall.Youknow,Ellen,sometimesI'mnotaltogethereasyinmymindabouttheguv'nor'smentalbalance.Heknowshowtobuycigars,andyoutellmehisportisgood--Inevertouchitmyself--butsometimesheseemstometogorightoffhisonion.Justsatthere,hedid,allthroughdinner,lookingasifheexpectedthegoodfoodtoriseupandbitehimintheface,andjumpingnervouswhenIspoketohim.It'snotmyfault,"saidBarker,aggrieved."_I_can'tgivegentlemenwarningbeforeIask'emifthey'llhavesherryorhock.Ican'tringabellortootahorntoshow'emI'mcoming.It'smyplacetobendoverand

whisperintheirear,andthey'venorighttoleapaboutintheirseatsandmakemespillgoodwine.(You'llseethespotclosebywhereyou'resitting,Ellen.Joggedmywrist,hedid!)I'dliketoknowwhypeopleinthespearoflifewhichthesepeopleareincan'tbehavethemselvesrational,sameaswedo.WhenwewerewalkingoutandItookyoutohaveteawithmymother,itwasoneofthepleasantestmealsIeverate.Talkabout'armony!Itwasalove-feast!"

"YourmaandItooktoeachotherrightfromthestart,Horace,"saidMrs.Barkersoftly."That'sthedifference."



"Well,anywomanwithanysensewouldtaketoMissMariner.IfItoldyouhownearIcametospillingthesauce-boataccidentallyoverthatoldfossil'shead,you'dbesurprised,Ellen.Shejustsattherebroodinglikeanoldeagle.Ifyouaskmyopinion,MissMariner'salongsighttoogoodforherpreciousson!"

"Oh,butHorace!SirDerek'sabaronet!"

"Whatofit?Kind'eartsaremorethancoronetsandsimplefaiththanNormanblood,aren'tthey?"

"You'retalkingSocialism,Horace."

"No,I'mnot.I'mtalkingsense.Idon'tknowwhoMissMariner'sparentsmayhavebeen--Ineverenquired--butanyonecanseeshe'saladybornandbred.Butdoyousupposethepathoftrueloveisgoingtorunsmooth,forallthat?Notit!She'sgota'ardtimeaheadofher,thatpoorgirl!"

"Horace!"Mrs.Barker'sgentleheartwaswrung.Thesituationhintedatbyherhusbandwasnonewone--indeed,itformedthebasisofatleastfiftypercentofthestoriesintheTrueHeartNoveletteSeries,ofwhichshewasadeterminedreader--butithadneverfailed

totouchher."Doyouthinkherladyshipmeanstocomebetweenthemandwrecktheirromance?"

"Ithinkshemeanstohaveajollygoodtry."

"ButSirDerekhashisownmoney,hasn'the?Imeanit'snotlikewhenSirCourtenayTraversfellinlovewiththemilkmaidandwasdependentonhismother,theCountess,foreverything.SirDerekcanaffordtodowhathepleases,can'the?"

Barkershookhisheadtolerantly.Theexcellenceofthecigarandthesoothingqualitiesofthewhisky-and-sodahadworkeduponhim,andhewasfeelinglessruffled.

"Youdon'tunderstandthesethings,"hesaid."Womenlikeherladyshipcantalkamanintoanythingandoutofanything.Iwouldn'tcare,onlyyoucanseethepoorgirlismadoverthefeller.Whatshefindsattractiveinhim,Ican'tsay,butthat'sherownaffair."

"He'sveryhandsome,Horace,withthoseflashingeyesandthatsternmouth,"arguedMrs.Barker.

Barkersniffed.

"Haveityourownway,"hesaid."It'snotreatto_me_toseehiseyesflash,andifhe'dputthatsternmouthofhistosomebetteruse

thanadvisingtheguv'nortolockupthecigarsandtrouserthekey,I'dbebetterpleased.Ifthere'sonethingIcan'tstand,"saidBarker,"it'snottobetrusted!"Heliftedhiscigarandlookedatitcensoriously."Ithoughtso!Burningalldownoneside.Theywilldothatifyoulight'emcareless.Oh,well,"hecontinued,risingandgoingtothehumidor,"there'splentymorewherethatcamefrom.Outofevilcomethgood,"saidBarkerphilosophically."Iftheguv'norhadn'tbeeninsuchaoverwroughtstateto-night,he'dhaverememberednottoleavethekeyinthekeyhole.Helpyourselftoanotherglassofport,Ellen,andlet'senjoyourselves!"



II

Whenoneconsidershowfullofhisowntroubles,howweigheddownwiththeproblemsofhisownexistencetheaverageplaygoergenerallyiswhenentersatheatre,itisremarkablethatdramatistseverfinditpossibletodivertandentertainwholeaudiencesforaspaceofseveralhours.Asregardsatleastthreeofthosewhohadassembledtowitnessitsopeningperformance,theauthorof"TriedbyFire,"attheLeicesterTheatre,undoubtedlyhadhisworkcutoutforhim.

IthasperhapsbeensufficientlyindicatedbytheremarksofBarker,thevalet,thatthelittledinneratFreddieRooke'shadnotbeenanunqualifiedsuccess.Searchingtherecordsforanadequatelygloomyparalleltothetaxi-cabjourneytothetheatrewhichfollowedit,onecanonlythinkofNapoleon'sretreatfromMoscow.Andyeteventhatwasprobablynotconductedindeadsilence.

Theonlymemberofthepartywhowasevenremotelyhappywas,curiouslyenough,FreddieRooke.OriginallyFreddiehadobtainedthreeticketsfor"TriedbyFire."TheunexpectedarrivalofLadyUnderhillhadobligedhimtobuyafourth,separatedbyseveralrowsfromtheotherthree.This,ashehadtoldDerekatbreakfast,wastheseathe

proposedtooccupyhimself.

Itconsolesthephilosopherinthishardworldtoreflectthat,evenifmanisborntosorrowasthesparksflyupward,itisstillpossibleforsmallthingstomakehimhappy.ThethoughtofbeingseveralrowsawayfromLadyUnderhillhadrestoredFreddie'sequanimitylikeatonic.Itthrilledhimlikethestrainsofsomegrand,sweetanthemallthewaytothetheatre.IfFreddieRookehadbeenaskedatthatmomenttodefinehappinessinafewwords,hewouldhaverepliedthatitconsistedinbeingseveralrowsawayfromLadyUnderhill.

ThetheatrewasnearlyfullwhenFreddie'spartyarrived.The

LeicesterTheatrehadbeenrentedfortheseasonbythenewesttheatricalknight,SirChesterPortwood,whohadalargefollowing;and,whatevermightbethefateoftheplayinthefinalissue,itwoulddoatleastonenight'sbusiness.Thestallswereablazewithjewelleryandcracklingwithstarchedshirt-fronts;andexpensivescentspervadedtheair,puttingupastiffbattlewiththeplebeianpeppermintthatemanatedfromthepit.Theboxeswerefilled,andupinthegallerygrim-facedpatronsofthedrama,whohadpaidtheirshillingsatthedoorandintendedtogetashilling'sworthofentertainmentinreturn,satandwaitedstolidlyforthecurtaintorise.

Thelightsshotupbeyondthecurtain.Thehouse-lightsdimmed.

Conversationceased.Thecurtainrose.Jillwriggledherselfcomfortablyintoherseat,andslippedherhandintoDerek's.Shefeltaglowofhappinessasitclosedoverhers.All,shetoldherself,wasrightwiththeworld.

All,thatistosay,exceptthedramawhichwasunfoldingonthestage.Itwasoneofthoseplayswhichstartwrongandneverrecover.Bytheendofthefirsttenminutestherehadspreadthroughthetheatrethatuneasyfeelingwhichcomesovertheaudienceatanopeningperformancewhenitrealizesthatitisgoingtobebored.A



sortoflethargyhadgrippedthestalls.Thedress-circlewascoughing.Upinthegallerytherewasgrimsilence.

SirChesterPortwoodwasanactor-managerwhohadmadehisreputationinlightcomedyofthetea-cupschool.Hisnumerousadmirersattendedafirstnightathistheatreinamoodofcomfortableanticipation,assuredofsomethingpleasantandfrothywithagooddealofbrightdialogueandnottoomuchplot.To-nightheseemedtohavefallenavictimtothatspiritofambitionwhichintermittentlyattacksactor-managersofhisclass,expressingitselfinanattempttoprovethat,havingestablishedthemselvessecurelyaslightcomedians,theycan,liketheladyreciter,turnrightaroundandbeserious.TheonethingwhichtheLondonpublicfeltthatitwassafefrominaPortwoodplaywasheaviness,and"TriedbyFire"wasgrievouslyheavy.Itwasapoeticdrama,andtheaudience,thoughloathtodoanybodyaninjustice,wasbeginningtosuspectthatitwaswritteninblankverse.

Theactingdidnothingtodispelthegrowinguneasiness.SirChesterhimself,apparentlyoppressedbytheweightinessoftheoccasionandtheresponsibilityofofferinganunfamiliarbrandofgoodstohispublic,haddroppedhiscustomarydebonairmethodofdeliveringlinesandwasmouthinghisspeeches.Itwasgoodgargling,butbadelocution.And,forsomereasonbestknowntohimself,hehad

entrustedtherôleoftheheroinetoadoll-likedamselwithalisp,ofwhomtheaudiencedisapprovedsternlyfromherinitialentrance.

Itwasabouthalf-waythroughthefirstactthatJill,whoseattentionhadbeguntowander,heardasoftgroanatherside.TheseatswhichFreddieRookehadboughtwereattheextremeendoftheseventhrow.Therewasonlyoneotherseatintherow,and,asDerekhadplacedhismotheronhisleftandwassittingbetweenherandJill,thelatterhadthisseatonherright.Ithadbeenemptyattheriseofthecurtain,butinthepastfewminutesamanhadslippedsilentlyintoit.ThedarknesspreventedJillfromseeinghisface,butitwasplainthathewassuffering,andhersympathywentouttohim.Hisopinionoftheplaysoobviouslycoincidedwithherown.

Presentlythefirstactended,andthelightswentup.Therewasaspatterofinsincereapplausefromthestalls,echoedinthedress-circle.Itgrewfainterintheuppercircle,anddidnotreachthegalleryatall.

"Well?"saidJilltoDerek."Whatdoyouthinkofit?"

"Tooawfulforwords,"saidDereksternly.

HeleanedforwardtojointheconversationwhichhadstartedbetweenLadyUnderhillandsomefriendsshehaddiscoveredintheseatsinfront;andJill,turning,becameawarethatthemanonherrightwas

lookingatherintently.Hewasabigmanwithrough,wiryhairandahumorousmouth.Hisageappearedtobesomewhereinthemiddletwenties.Jill,inthebriefmomentinwhichtheireyesmet,decidedthathewasugly,butwithanuglinessthatwasratherattractive.Heremindedherofoneofthoselarge,loose,shaggydogsthatbreakthingsindrawing-roomsbutmakeadmirablecompanionsfortheopenroad.Shehadafeelingthathewouldlookbetterintweedsinafieldthanineveningdressinatheatre.Hehadniceeyes.Shecouldnotdistinguishtheircolour,buttheywerefrankandfriendly.



AllthisJillnotedwithhercustomaryquickness,andthenshelookedaway.Foraninstantshehadhadanoddfeelingthatsomewhereshehadmetthismanorsomebodyverylikehimbefore,buttheimpressionvanished.Shealsohadtheimpressionthathewasstilllookingather,butshegazeddemurelyinfrontofheranddidnotattempttoverifythesuspicion.

Betweenthem,astheysatsidebyside,thereinserteditselfsuddenlythepinklyremorsefulfaceofFreddieRooke.Freddie,havingskirmishedwarilyintheaisleuntilitwasclearthatLadyUnderhill'sattentionwasengagedelsewhere,hadoccupiedaseatintherowbehindwhichhadbeenleftvacanttemporarilybyanownerwholikedrefreshmentbetweentheacts.Freddiewasfeelingdeeplyashamedofhimself.Hefeltthathehadperpetratedabloomerofnoslightmagnitude.

"I'mawfullysorryaboutthis,"hesaidpenitently."Imean,ropingyouintolistentothisfrightfultosh!WhenIthinkImighthavegotseatsjustaswellforanyoneofhalfadozentoppingmusicalcomedies,Ifeellikekickingmyselfwithsomevim.But,honestly,howwasItoknow?Ineverdreamedweweregoingtobeletinforanythingofthissort.Portwood'splaysareusuallysodashedbrightandsnappyandallthat.Can'tthinkwhathewasdoing,puttingonathinglikethis.Why,it'sblueroundtheedges!"

ThemanonJill'srightlaughedsharply.

"Perhaps,"hesaid,"thechumpwhowrotethepiecegotawayfromtheasylumlongenoughtoputupthemoneytoproduceit."

Ifthereisonethingthatstartlesthewell-bredLondonerandthrowshimoffhisbalance,itistobeaddressedunexpectedlybyastranger.Freddie'ssenseofdecencywasrevolted.Avoicefromthetombcouldhardlyhaveshakenhimmore.Allthetraditionstowhichhehadbeenbroughtuphadgonetosolidifyhisbeliefthatthiswasoneofthethingswhichdidn'thappen.Absolutelyitwasn'tdone.DuringanearthquakeorashipwreckandpossiblyontheDayofJudgment,yes.

Butonlythen.Atothertimes,unlesstheywantedamatchorthetimeorsomething,chappiesdidnotspeaktofellowstowhomtheyhadnotbeenintroduced.Hewasfartooamiabletosnubtheman,buttogoonwiththisdegradingscenewasoutofthequestion.Therewasnothingforitbutflight.

"Oh,ah,yes,"hemumbled."Well,"headdedtoJill,"IsupposeImayaswellbetoddlingback.Seeyoulaterandsoforth."

Andwithafaint"Good-bye-ee!"Freddieremovedhimself,thoroughlyunnerved.

JilllookedoutofthecornerofhereyeatDerek.Hewasstill

occupiedwiththepeopleinfront.Sheturnedtothemanonherright.ShewasnottheslavetoetiquettethatFreddiewas.Shewasmuchtoointerestedinlifetorefrainfromspeakingtostrangers.

"Youshockedhim!"shesaiddimpling.

"Yes.ItbrokeFreddieallup,didn'tit!"

ItwasJill'sturntobestartled.Shelookedathiminastonishment.



"Freddie?"

"That_was_FreddieRooke,wasn'tit?SurelyIwasn'tmistaken?"

"But--doyouknowhim?Hedidn'tseemtoknowyou."

"Thesearelife'stragediesHehasforgottenme.Myboyhoodfriend!"

"Oh,youwereatschoolwithhim?"

"No.FreddiewenttoWinchester,ifIremember.IwasatHaileybury.Ouracquaintancewasconfinedtotheholidays.MypeoplelivednearhispeopleinWorcestershire."

"Worcestershire!"Jillleanedforwardexcitedly."ButIusedtolivenearFreddieinWorcestershiremyselfwhenIwassmall.Iknewhimtherewhenhewasaboy.Wemusthavemet!"

"Wemetallright."

Jillwrinkledherforehead.Thatoddfamiliarlookwasinhiseyesagain.Butmemoryfailedtorespond.Sheshookherhead.

"Idon'trememberyou,"shesaid."I'msorry."

"Nevermind.Perhapstherecollectionwouldhavebeenpainful."

"Howdoyoumean,painful?"

"Well,lookingback,IcanseethatImusthavebeenaveryunpleasantchild.Ihavealwaysthoughtitgreatlytothecreditofmyparentsthattheyletmegrowup.Itwouldhavebeensoeasytohavedroppedsomethingheavyonmeoutofawindow.Theymusthavebeentemptedahundredtimes,buttheyrefrained.Yes,Iwasagreatpestaroundthehome.MyonlyredeemingpointwasthewayIworshipped_you_!"

"What!"

"Oh,yes.Youprobablydidn'tnoticeitatthetime,forIhadacuriouswayofexpressingmyadoration.Butyouremainthebrightestmemoryofachequeredyouth."

Jillsearchedhisfacewithgraveeyes,thenshookherheadagain.

"Nothingstirs?"askedthemansympathetically.

"It'stoomaddening!Whydoesoneforgetthings?"Shereflected."Youaren'tBobbyMorrison?"

"Iamnot.Whatismore,Ineverwas!"

Jilldivedintothepastoncemoreandemergedwithanotherpossibility.

"Or--Charlie--Charliewhatwasit?--CharlieField?"

"Youwoundme!HaveyouforgottenthatCharlieFieldworevelvetLordFauntleroysuitsandlonggoldencurls?Mypastisnotsmirchedwithanythinglikethat."



"WouldIrememberyournameifyoutoldme?"

"Idon'tknow.I'veforgottenyours.Yoursurname,thatis.Ofcourse,IrememberthatyourChristiannamewasJill.Ithasalwaysseemedtometheprettiestmonosyllableinthelanguage."Helookedatherthoughtfully."It'soddhowlittleyou'vealteredinlooks.Freddie'sjustthesame,too,onlylarger.Andhedidn'twearaneye-glassinthosedays,thoughIcanseehewasboundtolateron.AndyetI'vechangedsomuchthatyoucan'tplaceme.ItshowswhatawearinglifeImusthaveled.IfeellikeRipvanWinkle.Oldandwithered.Butthatmaybejusttheresultofwatchingthisplay."

"Itisprettyterrible,isn'tit?"

"Worsethanthat.Lookingatitdispassionately,Ifindittheextreme,ragged,outermostedgeofthelimit.Freddiehadthecorrectdescriptionofit.He'sagreatcritic."

"Ireallydothinkit'stheworstthingIhaveeverseen."

"Idon'tknowwhatplaysyouhaveseen,butIfeelyou'reright."

"Perhapsthesecondact'sbetter,"saidJilloptimistically.

"It'sworse.Iknowthatsoundslikeboasting,butit'strue.Ifeellikegettingupandmakingapublicapology."

"But...Oh!"

Jillturnedscarlet.Amonstroussuspicionhadsweptoverher.

"Theonlytroubleis,"wentonhercompanion,"thattheaudiencewouldundoubtedlylynchme.And,thoughitseemsimprobablejustatthepresentmoment,itmaybethatlifeholdssomehappinessformethat'sworthwaitingfor.Anyway,I'drathernotbetornlimbfromlimb.Amessyfinish!Icanjustseethemrendingmeasunderinaspasmofperfectlyjustifiablefury.'Shelovesme!'Offcomesaleg.'She

lovesmenot!'Offcomesanarm.No,IthinkonthewholeI'lllielow.Besides,whyshouldIcare?Let'emsuffer.It'stheirownfault.They_would_come!"

Jillhadbeentryingtointerrupttheharangue.Shewasgreatlyconcerned.

"Didyou_write_theplay?"

Themannodded.

"Youarequiterighttospeakinthathorrifiedtone.Butbetweenourselvesandontheunderstandingthatyoudon'tgetupanddenounce

me,Idid."

"Oh,I'msosorry!"

"NothalfsosorryasIam,believeme!"

"Imean,Iwouldn'thavesaid...."

"Nevermind.Youdidn'ttellmeanythingIdidn'tknow."Thelightsbegantogodown.Herose."Well,they'reoffagain.Perhapsyouwill



excuseme?Idon'tfeelquiteequaltoassistinganylongeratthewake.Ifyouwantsomethingtooccupyyourmindduringthenextact,trytoremembermyname."

Heslidfromhisseatanddisappeared.JillclutchedatDerek.

"Oh,Derek,it'stooawful.I'vejustbeentalkingtothemanwhowrotethisplay,andItoldhimitwastheworstthingIhadeverseen!"

"Didyou?"Dereksnorted."Well,it'sabouttimesomebodytoldhim!"Athoughtseemedtostrikehim."Why,whoishe?Ididn'tknowyouknewhim."

"Idon't.Idon'tevenknowhisname."

"Hisname,accordingtotheprogramme,isJohnGrant.Neverheardofhimbefore.Jill,Iwishyouwouldnottalktopeopleyoudon'tknow,"saidDerekwithanoteofannoyanceinhisvoice."Youcannevertellwhotheyare."

"But...."

"Especiallywithmymotherhere.Youmustbemorecareful."

Thecurtainrose.Jillsawthestagemistily.Fromchildhoodup,shehadneverbeenabletocureherselfofanunfortunatesensitivenesswhensharplyspokentobythosesheloved.Arebukingworldshecouldfacewithastoutheart,buttherehadalwaysbeenjustoneortwopeoplewhoselightestwordofcensurecouldcrushher.Herfatherhadalwayshadthateffectuponher,andnowDerekhadtakenhisplace.

Butiftherehadonlybeentimetoexplain....Derekcouldnotobjecttoherchattingwithafriendofherchildhood,evenifshehadcompletelyforgottenhimanddidnotrememberhisnameevennow.JohnGrant?MemoryfailedtoproduceanyjuvenileJohnGrantforherinspection.

Puzzlingoverthisproblem,Jillmissedmuchofthebeginningofthesecondact.Herswasadetachmentwhichtherestoftheaudiencewouldgladlyhaveshared.Forthepoeticdrama,afterabadstart,wasnowplungingintoworsedepthsofdullness.Thecoughinghadbecomealmostcontinuous.Thestalls,supportedbythepresenceoflargedrovesofSirChester'spersonalfriends,werestrugglinggallantlytomaintainasemblanceofinterest,butthepitandgalleryhadplainlygivenuphope.Thecriticofaweeklypaperofsmallcirculation,whohadbeenshovedupintheuppercircle,grimlyjotteddownthephrase"apatheticallyreceived"onhisprogramme.Hehadcometothetheatrethatnightinanaggrievedmood,formanagersusuallyputhiminthedress-circle.Hegotouthispencilagain.Anotherphrasehadoccurred

tohim,admirablefortheopeningofhisarticle."AttheLeicesterTheatre,"hewrote,"whereSirChesterPortwoodpresented'TriedbyFire,'dullnessreignedsupreme...."

Butyouneverknow.Callnoeveningdulltillitisover.Howeveruninterestingitsearlystagesmayhavebeenthatnightwastobeasanimatedandexcitingasanyaudiencecoulddesire--anighttobelookedbacktoandtalkedabout,forjustasthecriticof_LondonGossip_wrotethosedamningwordsonhisprogramme,guidinghispenciluncertainlyinthedark,acuriousyetfamiliarodourstoleoverthe



house.

Thestallsgotitfirst,andsniffed.Itrosetothedress-circle,andthedress-circlesniffed.Floatingup,itsmotethesilentgallery.And,suddenly,comingtolifewithasingle-mindedabruptness,thegalleryceasedtobesilent.

"Fire!"

SirChesterPortwood,ploughinghiswaythroughalongspeech,stoppedandlookedapprehensivelyoverhisshoulder.Thegirlwiththelisp,whohadbeenlisteninginaperfunctorymannertothelongspeech,screamedloudly.Thevoiceofanunseenstage-handcalledthunderouslytoaninvisible"Bill"tocommerequick.Andfromthesceneryonthepromptsidetherecurledlazilyacrossthestageablackwispofsmoke.

"Fire!Fire!Fire!"

"Just,"saidavoiceatJill'selbow,"whattheplayneeded!"Themysteriousauthorwasbackinhisseatagain.

CHAPTERIII

JILLANDTHEUNKNOWNESCAPE

I

Inthesedayswhentheauthoritieswhowatchoverthewelfareofthecommunityhavetakenthetroubletoreiterateencouraginglyinprintednoticesthatafullhousecanbeemptiedinthreeminutesandthatallanaudiencehastodoinanemergencyistowalk,notrun,tothenearestexit,fireinthetheatrehaslostagooddealofitsold-time

terror.YetitwouldbepalteringwiththetruthtosaythattheaudiencewhichhadassembledtowitnesstheopeningperformanceofthenewplayattheLeicesterwasentirelyatitsease.Theasbestoscurtainwasalreadyonitswaydown,whichshouldhavebeenreassuring:butthenasbestoscurtainsneverlookthepart.Tothelayeyetheyseemjustthesortofthingthatwillblazequickest.Moreover,ithadnotyetoccurredtothemanattheswitchboardtoturnupthehouse-lights,andthedarknesswasdisconcerting.

Portionsofthehouseweretakingthethingbetterthanotherportions.Upinthegalleryavastactivitywasgoingon.Theclatteroffeetalmostdrownedtheshouting.Amomentbeforeitwouldhaveseemedincrediblethatanythingcouldhavemadetheoccupantsofthe

galleryanimated,buttheinstinctofself-preservationhadputnewlifeintothem.

Thestallshadnotyetentirelylosttheirself-control.Alarmwasintheair,butforthemomenttheyhungontherazor-edgebetweenpanicanddignity.Panicurgedthemtodosomethingsuddenandenergetic;dignitycounselledthemtowait.They,liketheoccupantsofthegallery,greatlydesiredtobeoutside,butitwasbadformtorushandjostle.Themenwereassistingthewomenintheircloaks,assuringthemthewhilethatitwas"allright"andthattheymustnotbe



frightened.Butanothercurlofsmokehadcreptoutjustbeforetheasbestoscurtaincompleteditsdescent,andtheirwordslackedtheringofconviction.Themovementtowardstheexitshadnotyetbecomeastampede,butalreadythosewithseatsnearestthestagehadbeguntofeelthatthemorefortunateindividualsnearthedoorswereinfernallyslowinremovingthemselves.

Suddenly,asifbymutualinspiration,thecomposureofthestallsbegantoslip.Lookingfromabove,onecouldhaveseenasortofshudderrunthroughthecrowd.Itwastheeffectofeverymemberofthatcrowdstartingtomovealittlemorequickly.

AhandgraspedJill'sarm.Itwasacomfortinghand,thehandofamanwhohadnotlosthishead.Apleasantvoicebackedupitsmessageofreassurance.

"It'snogoodgettingintothatmob.Youmightgethurt.There'snodanger;theplayisn'tgoingon."

Jillwasshaken;butshehadthefightingspiritandhatedtoshowthatshewasshaken.Panicwasknockingatthedoorofhersoul,butdignityrefusedtobedislodged.

"Allthesame,"shesaid,smilingadifficultsmile,"itwouldbenice

togetout,wouldn'tit?"

"Iwasjustgoingtosuggestsomethingofthatverysort,"saidthemanbesideher."Thesamethoughtoccurredtome.Wecanstrolloutquitecomfortablybyourownprivateroute.Comealong."

Jilllookedoverhershoulder.DerekandLadyUnderhillweremergedintothemassofrefugees.Shecouldnotseethem.ForaninstantalittlespasmofpiquestungheratthethoughtthatDerekhaddesertedher.Shegropedherwayafterhercompanion,andpresentlytheycamebywayofalowerboxtotheironpass-doorleadingtothestage.

Asitopened,smokeblewthrough,andthesmellofburningwas

formidable.Jillrecoiledinvoluntarily.

"It'sallright,"saidhercompanion."Itsmellsworsethanitreallyis.And,anyway,thisisthequickestwayout."

Theypassedthroughontothestage,andfoundthemselvesinaworldofnoiseandconfusioncomparedwithwhichtheauditoriumwhichtheyhadlefthadbeenapeacefulplace.Smokewaseverywhere.Astage-hand,carryingabucket,lurchedpastthem,bellowing.Fromsomewhereoutofsightontheothersideofthestagetherecameasoundofchopping.Jill'scompanionmovedquicklytotheswitchboard,groped,foundahandle,andturnedit.Inthenarrowspacebetweenthecorneroftheprosceniumandtheedgeoftheasbestoscurtainlights

flashedup:andsimultaneouslytherecameasuddendiminutionofthenoisefromthebodyofthehouse.Thestalls,snatchedfromtheintimidatingspellofthedarknessandabletoseeeachother'sfaces,discoveredthattheyhadbeenbehavingindecorouslyandcheckedtheirstruggling,alittleashamedofthemselves.Thereliefwouldbeonlymomentary,but,whileitlasted,itpostponedpanic.

"Gostraightacrossthestage,"Jillheardhercompanionsay,"outalongthepassageandturntotheright,andyou'llbeatthestage-door.Ithink,asthereseemsnooneelsearoundtodoit,I'd



bettergooutandsayafewsoothingwordstothecustomers.Otherwisethey'llbebitingholesineachother."

Hesqueezedthroughthenarrowopeninginfrontofthecurtain.

"Ladiesandgentlemen!"

Jillremainedwhereshewas,leaningwithonehandagainsttheswitchboard.Shemadenoattempttofollowthedirectionshehadgivenher.Shewasawareofasenseofcomradeship,ofbeingwiththismaninthisadventure.Ifhestayed,shemuststay.Togonowthroughthesafetyofthestage-doorwouldbeabominabledesertion.Shelistened,andfoundthatshecouldhearplainlyinspiteofthenoise.Thesmokewasworsethanever,andhurthereyes,sothatthefiguresofthetheatre-firemen,hurryingtoandfro,seemedlikeBrockenspectres.Sheslippedacornerofhercloakacrosshermouth,andwasabletobreathemoreeasily.

"Ladiesandgentlemen,Iassureyouthatthereisabsolutelynodanger.Iamastrangertoyou,sothereisnoreasonwhyyoushouldtakemyword,butfortunatelyIcangiveyousolidproof.Iftherewereanydanger,_I_wouldn'tbehere.Allthathashappenedisthatthewarmthofyourreceptionoftheplayhassetapieceofsceneryalight...."

Acrimson-facedstage-hand,carryinganaxeinblackenedhands,roaredinJill'sear.

"'Opit!"shoutedthestage-hand.Hecasthisaxedownwithaclatter."Can'tyouseetheplaceisafire?"

"But--butI'mwaitingfor...."Jillpointedtowhereherallywasstilladdressinganaudiencethatseemedreluctanttostopandlistentohim.

Thestage-handsquintedoutroundtheedgeofthecurtain.

"Ifhe'safriendofyours,miss,kindlyget'imtocheeseitandgetamoveon.We'reclearingout.There'snothingwecando.It'sgottoomuchofan'old.Inaboutanothertwotickstheroof'sgoingtodroponus."

Jill'sfriendcamesqueezingbackthroughtheopening.

"Hullo!Stillhere?"Heblinkedapprovinglyatherthroughthesmoke."You'realittlesoldier!Well,Augustus,what'sonyourmind?"

Thesimplequestionseemedtotakethestage-handaback.

"Wot'sonmymind?I'lltellyouwot'sonmyblinkingmind...."

"Don'ttellme.Letmeguess.I'vegotit!Theplaceisonfire!"

Thestage-handexpectorateddisgustedly.Flippancyatsuchamomentoffendedhissensibilities.

"We're'oppingit,"hesaid.

"Greatmindsthinkalike!_We_arehoppingit,too."



"You'dbetter!Anddamnquick!"

"And,asyousuggest,damnquick.Youthinkofeverything!"

Jillfollowedhimacrossthestage.Herheartwasbeatingviolently.Therewasnotonlysmokenow,butheat.Acrossthestagelittlescarletflameswereshooting,andsomethinglargeandhard,unseenthroughthesmoke,fellwithacrash.Theairwasheavywiththesmellofburningpaint.

"Where'sSirChesterPortwood?"enquiredhercompanionofthestage-hand,whohurriedbesidethem.

"'Oppedit!"repliedtheotherbriefly,andcoughedraspinglyasheswallowedsmoke.

"Strange,"saidthemaninJill'sear,ashepulledheralong."Thisway.Sticktome.Strangehowthedramaanticipateslife!AttheendofActTwotherewasascenewhereSirChesterhadtocreepsombrelyoutintothenight,andnowhe'sgoneanddoneit!Ah!"

Theyhadstumbledthroughadoorwayandwereoutinanarrowpassage,wheretheair,thoughtainted,wascomparativelyfresh.Jilldrewadeepbreath.Hercompanionturnedtothestage-handandfeltinhis

pocket.

"Here."Acoinchangedhands."Goandgetadrink.Youneeditafterallthis."

"Thankyou,sir."

"Don'tmentionit.You'vesavedourlives.Supposeyouhadn'tcomeupandtoldus,andwehadnevernoticedtherewasafire!"HeturnedtoJill."Here'sthestage-door.Shallwecreepsombrelyoutintothenight?"

Theguardianofthestage-doorwasstandingintheentranceofhis

littlehutch,plainlyperplexed.Hewasaslowthinkerandamanwhoselifewasruledbyroutine,andtheeventsoftheeveninghadlefthimuncertainhowtoact.

"Wot'sallthisaboutafire?"hedemanded.

Jill'sfriendstopped.

"Afire?"HelookedatJill."Did_you_hearanythingaboutafire?"

"Theyallcomebustin'past'ereyellingthere'safire,"persistedthedoor-man.

"ByGeorge!NowIcometothinkofit,you'reperfectlyright!There _is_afire!Ifyouwaitherealittlelongeryou'llgetitinthesmalloftheback.Taketheadviceofanoldfriendwhomeansyouwellandvanish.Intheinspiredwordsoftheladwe'vejustpartedfrom,'opit!"

Thestage-doormanturnedthisoverinhismindforaspace.

"ButI'msupposedtostay'eretilleleven-thirtyandlockup!"hesaid."That'swhatI'msupposedtodo.Stay'eretilleleven-thirty



andlockup!Anditain'tbuttenforty-fivenow."

"Iseethedifficulty,"saidJill'scompanionthoughtfully.

"Well,Casabianca,I'mafraidIdon'tseehowtohelpyou.It'samatterforyourownconscience.Idon'twanttolureyoufromtheburningdeck;ontheotherhand,ifyoustickonhereyou'llmostcertainlybefiredonbothsides....But,tellme.Youspokeaboutlockingupsomethingateleven-thirty.Whatareyousupposedtolockup?"

"Why,thetheatre."

"Thenthat'sallright.Byeleven-thirtytherewon't_be_atheatre.IfIwereyou,Ishouldleavequietlyandunostentatiouslynow.To-morrow,ifyouwishit,andifthey'vecooledoffsufficiently,youcancomeandsitontheruins.Goodnight!"

II

Outside,theairwascoldandcrisp.Jilldrewherwarmcloakcloser.Roundthecornertherewasnoiseandshouting.Fire-engineshadarrived.Jill'scompanionlitacigarette.

"Doyouwishtostopandseetheconflagration?"heasked.

Jillshivered.Shewasmoreshakenthanshehadrealized.

"I'veseenalltheconflagrationIwant."

"Samehere.Well,it'sbeenanexcitingevening.Startedslow,Iadmit,butwarmeduplater!WhatIseemtoneedatthemomentisarestorativestrollalongtheEmbankment.Doyouknow,SirChesterPortwooddidn'tlikethetitleofmyplay.Hesaid'TriedbyFire'wastoomelodramatic.Well,hecan'tsaynowitwasn'tappropriate."

Theymadetheirwaytowardstheriver,avoidingthestreetwhichwasblockedbythecrowdsandthefire-engines.AstheycrossedtheStrand,themanlookedback.Aredglowwasinthesky.

"Agreatblaze!"hesaid."Whatyoumightcall--infactwhatthepapers_will_call--aholocaust.Quiteatreatforthepopulace."

"Doyouthinktheywillbeabletoputitout?"

"Notachance.It'sgottoomuchofahold.It'sapityyouhadn'tthatgarden-hoseofyourswithyou,isn'tit?"

Jillstopped,wide-eyed.

"Garden-hose?"

"Don'tyourememberthegarden-hose?Ido!Icanfeelthatclammyfeelingofthewatertricklingdownmybacknow!"

Memory,alwaysalaggardbythewaysidethatredeemsitselfbyaneleventh-hourrush,racedbacktoJill.TheEmbankmentturnedtoasun-litgarden,andtheJanuarynighttoaJulyday.Shestaredathim.Hewaslookingatherwithawhimsicalsmile.Itwasasmile



which,pleasantto-day,hadseemedmockingandhostileonthatafternoonyearsago.Shehadalwaysfeltthenthathewaslaughingather,andattheageoftwelveshehadresentedlaughteratherexpense.

"Yousurelycan'tbeWallyMason!""Iwaswonderingwhenyouwouldremember.""Buttheprogrammecalledyousomethingelse--Johnsomething."

"Thatwasacunningdisguise.WallyMasonistheonlygenuineandofficialname.And,byJove!I'vejustrememberedyours.ItwasMariner.Bytheway,"--hepausedforanalmostimperceptibleinstant--"isitstill?"

CHAPTERIV

THELASTOFTHEROOKESTAKESAHAND

I

Jillwashardlyawarethathehadaskedheraquestion.Shewassufferingthatmomentarysenseofunrealitywhichcomestouswhentheyearsrollawayandwearethrownabruptlybackintothedaysofourchildhood.ThelogicalsideofhermindwasquiteawarethattherewasnothingremarkableinthefactthatWallyMason,whohadbeentoheralltheseyearsaboyinanEtonsuit,shouldnowpresenthimselfasagrownman.Butforallthatthetransformationhadsomethingoftheeffectofaconjuring-trick.Itwasnotonlythealterationinhisappearancethatstartledher:itwastheamazingchangeinhispersonality.WallyMasonhadbeenthe_bêtenoire_ofherchildhood.Shehadneverfailedtolookbackattheepisodeofthegarden-hosewiththefeelingthatshehadactedwell,that--howevershemighthavestrayedinthoseearlydaysfromthestraightandnarrowpath--inthat

oneparticularcrisisshehaddonetherightthing.Andnowshehadtakenaninstantlikingforhim.Easilyasshemadefriends,shehadseldombeforefeltsoimmediatelydrawntoastrangeman.Gonewastheancienthostility,andinitsplaceasoothingsenseofcomradeship.ThedirecteffectofthiswastomakeJillfeelsuddenlyold.Itwasasifsomelinkthatjoinedhertoherchildhoodhadbeensnapped.

SheglanceddowntheEmbankment.Closeby,totheleft,WaterlooBridgeloomedup,darkandmassiveagainstthesteel-greysky.Atram-car,fullofhome-boundtravellers,clatteredpastoverrailsthatshonewiththepeculiarlyfrost-bittengleamthatseemstoheraldsnow.Acrosstherivereverythingwasdarkandmysterious,exceptfor

anoccasionallamp-postandthedimilluminationofthewharves.Itwasadepressingprospect,andthethoughtcrossedhermindthattothederelictswhosenightlyresting-placewasaseatontheEmbankmenttheviewmustseemevenbleakerthanitdidtoherself.Shegavealittleshiver.Somehowthissuddenseverancefromtheolddayshadbroughtwithitaforlornness.Sheseemedtobestandingaloneinachangedworld.

"Cold?"saidWallyMason.



"Alittle."

"Let'swalk."

Theymovedwestwards.Cleopatra'sNeedleshotupbesidethem,apointingfinger.Downonthesilentriverbelow,coffin-likerow-boatslaymooredtothewall.ThroughabreakinthetreestheclockovertheHousesofParliamentshoneforaninstantasifsuspendedinthesky,thenvanishedasthetreesclosedin.AdistantbargeinthedirectionofBatterseawailedandwasstill.Ithadamournfulandforebodingsound.Jillshiveredagain.Itannoyedherthatshecouldnotshakeoffthisquiteuncalled-formelancholy,butitwithstoodeveryeffort.Whysheshouldhavefeltthatachapter,apleasantchapter,inthebookofherlifehadbeenclosed,shecouldnothavesaid,butthefeelinglingered.

"CorrectmeifIamwrong,"saidWallyMason,breakingasilencethathadlastedseveralminutes,"butyouseemtometobefreezinginyourtracks.EversinceIcametoLondonI'vehadahabitofheadingfortheEmbankmentintimesofmentalstress,butperhapsthemiddleofwinterisnotquitethemomentforcommuningwiththenight.TheSavoyishandy,ifwestopwalkingawayfromit.Ithinkwemightcelebratethisre-unionwithalittlesupper,don'tyou?"

Jill'sdepressiondisappearedmagically.Hermercurialtemperamentasserteditself.

"Lights!"shesaid."Music!"

"Andfood!Toanetherealpersonlikeyouthatremarkmayseemgross,butIhadnodinner."

"Youpoordear!Whynot?"

"Justnervousness."

"Why,ofcourse."Theinterludeofthefirehadcausedhertoforget

hisprivateandpersonalconnectionwiththenight'sevents.Hermindwentbacktosomethinghehadsaidinthetheatre."Wally--"Shestopped,alittleembarrassed."IsupposeIoughttocallyouMr.Mason,butI'vealwaysthoughtofyou...."

"Wally,ifyouplease,Jill.It'snotasthoughwewerestrangers.Ihaven'tmybookofetiquettewithme,butIfancythataboutelevengallonsofcoldwaterdowntheneckconstitutesanintroduction.Whatwereyougoingtosay?"

"ItwaswhatyousaidtoFreddieaboutputtingupmoney.Didyoureally?"

"Putupthemoneyforthatghastlyplay?Idid.Everycent.Itwastheonlywaytogetitputon."

"Butwhy...?IforgetwhatIwasgoingtosay!"

"WhydidIwantitputon?Well,itdoesseemodd,butIgiveyoumyhonestwordthatuntilto-nightIthoughtthedarnedthingamasterpiece.I'vebeenwritingmusicalcomediesforthelastfewyears,andafteryou'vedonethatforawhileyoursoulrisesupwithinyouandsays,'Come,come,mylad!Youcandobetterthan



this!'That'swhatminesaid,andIbelievedit.SubsequenteventshaveprovedthatSidneytheSoulwaspullingmyleg!"

"But--thenyou'velostagreatdealofmoney?"

"Thehoardedwealth,ifyoudon'tmindmybeingmelodramaticforamoment,ofalifetime.Andnohonestoldservitorwhodangledmeonhiskneeasababytocomealongandoffermehissavings!Theydon'tmakeservitorslikethatinAmerica,worseluck.ThereisaSwedishladywholooksaftermysimpleneedsbackthere,butinstincttellsmethat,ifIweretoapproachheronthesubjectoflooseningupforthebenefitoftheyoungmaster,shewouldcallacop.Still,I'vegainedexperience,whichtheysayisjustasgoodascash,andI'veenoughmoneylefttopaythebill,atanyrate,socomealong."

Inthesupper-roomoftheSavoyHoteltherewas,asanticipated,foodandlightandmusic.Itwasstillearly,andthetheatreshadnotyetemptiedthemselves,sothatthebigroomwasasyetbuthalffull.WallyMasonhadfoundatableinthecorner,andproceededtoorderwiththeconcentrationofahungryman.

"Forgivemydwellingsotenselyonthebill-of-fare,"hesaid,whenthewaiterhadgone."Youdon'tknowwhatitmeanstooneinmyconditiontohavetochoosebetween_pouletencasserole_andkidneys

_àlamâitred'hôtel_.Aman'scross-roads!"

Jillsmiledhappilyacrossthetableathim.Shecouldhardlybelievethatthisoldfriendwithwhomshehadgonethroughtheperilsofthenightandwithwhomshewasnowabouttofeastwasthesinisterfigurethathadcastashadowonherchildhood.Helookedpositivelyincapableofpullingalittlegirl'shair--asnodoubthewas.

"Youalwaysweregreedy,"shecommented."JustbeforeIturnedthehoseonyou,Irememberyouhadmadeyourselfthoroughlydislikedbypocketingapieceofmybirthdaycake."

"Doyourememberthat?"Hiseyeslitupandhesmiledbackather.He

hadaningratiatingsmile.Hismouthwasratherwide,anditseemedtostretchrightacrosshisface.HeremindedJillmorethaneverofabig,friendlydog."Icanfeelitnow--allsquashyinmypocket,inextricablymingledwithacatapult,acoupleofmarbles,aboxofmatches,andsomestring.Iwasquitethehumangeneralstoreinthosedays.Whichremindsmethatwehavebeensometimesettlingdowntoanexchangeofourchildishreminiscences,haven'twe?"

"I'vebeentryingtorealizethatyouareWallyMason.Youhavealteredso."

"Forthebetter?"

"Verymuchforthebetter!Youwereahorridlittlebrute.Youusedtoterrifyme.Ineverknewwhenyouweregoingtoboundoutatmefrombehindatreeorsomething.Irememberyourchasingmeformiles,shriekingatthetopofyourvoice!"

"Sheerembarrassment!ItoldyoujustnowhowIusedtoworshipyou.IfIshriekedalittle,itwasmerelybecauseIwasshy.Ididittohidemydevotion."

"Youcertainlysucceeded.Ineverevensuspectedit."



Wallysighed.

"Howlikelife!Inevertoldmylove,butletconcealmentlikeawormi'thebud...."

"Talkingofworms,youonceputonedownmyback!"

"No,no,"saidWallyinashockedvoice."NotthatIIwasboisterous,perhaps,butsurelyalwaysthegentleman."

"Youdid!Intheshrubbery.Therehadbeenathunderstormand...."

"Iremembertheincidentnow.Ameremisunderstanding.Ihaddonewiththeworm,andthoughtyoumightbegladtohaveit."

"Youwerealwaysdoingthingslikethat.Onceyouheldmeoverthepondandthreatenedtodropmeintothewater--inthewinter!JustbeforeChristmas.Itwasaparticularlymeanthingtodo,becauseIcouldn'tevenkickyourshinsforfearyouwouldletmefall.LuckilyUncleChriscameupandmadeyoustop."

"Youconsideredthatafortunateoccurrence,didyou?"saidWally."Well,perhapsfromyourpointofviewitmayhavebeen.Isawthe

thingfromadifferentangle.Yourunclehadawhangeewithhim.MyfriendssometimeswonderwhatImeanwhenIsaythatmyoldwoundtroublesmeinfrostyweather.Bytheway,howisyouruncle?"

"Oh,he'sverywell.Justaslazyasever.He'sawayatpresent,downatBrighton."

"Hedidn'tstrikemeaslazy,"saidWallythoughtfully."Dynamicwouldexpressitbetter.ButperhapsIhappenedtoencounterhiminamomentofenergy.Ah!"Thewaiterhadreturnedwithaloadedtray."Thefood!ForgivemeifIseemalittledistraitforamomentortwo.Thereisman'sworkbeforeme!"

"Andlateron,Isuppose,youwouldlikeachoporsomethingtotakeawayinyourpocket?"

"Iwillthinkitover.Possiblyalittlesoup.Myneedsareverysimplethesedays."

Jillwatchedhimwithagrowingsenseofsatisfaction.Therewassomethingboyishlyengagingaboutthisman.Shefeltathomewithhim.HeaffectedherinmuchthesamewayasdidFreddieRooke.Hewasadefiniteadditiontothethingsthatwenttomakeherhappy.

Shelikedhimparticularlyforbeingsuchagoodloser.Shehadalwaysbeenagoodloserherself,andthequalitywasonewhichshe

admired.Itwasniceofhimtodismissfromhisconversation--andapparentlyfromhisthoughts--thatnight'sfiascoandallthatitmusthavecosthim.Shewonderedhowmuchhehadlost.Certainlysomethingverysubstantial.Yetitseemedtotroublehimnotatall.Jillconsideredhisbehaviourgallant,andherheartwarmedtohim.Thiswashowamanoughttotaketheslingsandarrowsofoutrageousfortune.

Wallysighedcontentedly,andleanedbackinhischair.



"Anunpleasantexhibition!"hesaidapologetically."Butunavoidable.And,anyway,Itakeitthatyouprefertohavemewell-fedandhappyabouttheplacethanswooningonthefloorwithstarvation.Awonderfulthing,food!Iamnowreadytoconverseintelligentlyonanysubjectyoucaretosuggest.Ihaveeatenrose-leavesandamnomoreagoldenass,sotospeak.Whatshallwetalkabout?"

"Tellmeaboutyourself."

"Thereisnonoblertopic.Butwhataspectofmyselfdoyouwishmetotouchon?Mythoughts,mytastes,myamusements,mycareer,orwhat?Icantalkaboutmyselfforhours.MyfriendsinNewYorkoftencomplainaboutitbitterly."

"NewYork?"saidJill."Oh,thenyouliveinAmerica?"

"Yes.Ionlycameoverheretoseethatdarnedfalsealarmofaplayofmineputon."

"Whydidn'tyouputitoninNewYork?"

"Toomanyoftheladsofthevillageknowmeoverthere.Thiswasanewdeparture,yousee.Whatthecriticsinthosepartsexpectfrommeissomethingentitled'Wow!Wow!'or'TheGirlfromYonkers.'Itwould

haveunsettledtheirmindstofindmebreakingoutinpoeticdrama.Theyaremenofcoarsefibreandribaldmindandtheywouldhavebeenfunnyaboutit.Ithoughtitwisertocomeoverhereamongstrangers,littlethinkingthatIshouldsitinthenextseattosomebodyIhadknownallmylife."

"ButwhendidyougotoAmerica?Andwhy?"

"Ithinkitmusthavebeenfour--five--well,quiteanumberofyearsafterthehoseepisode.Probablyyoudidn'tobservethatIwasn'tstillaround,butwecreptsilentlyoutoftheneighbourhoodroundaboutthattimeandwenttoliveinLondon."Histonelostitslightnessmomentarily."Myfatherdied,youknow,andthatsortof

brokethingsup.Hedidn'tleaveanytoomuchmoney,either.ApparentlywehadbeenlivingonrathertooexpensiveascaleduringthetimeIknewyou.Atanyrate,IwasmoreorlessupagainstituntilyourfathergotmeajobinanofficeinNewYork."

"Myfather!"

"Yes.Itwaswonderfullygoodofhimtobotheraboutme.Ididn'tsupposehewouldhaveknownmebysight,and,evenifhehadrememberedme,Ishouldn'thaveimaginedthatthememorywouldhavebeenapleasantone.Buthecouldn'thavetakenmoretroubleifIhadbeenablood-relation."

"Thatwasjustlikefather,"saidJillsoftly.

"Hewasaprince."

"Butyouaren'tintheofficenow?"

"No.IfoundIhadaknackofwritingversesandthings,andIwroteafewvaudevillesongs.ThenIcameacrossamannamedBevanatamusicpublisher's.Hewasjuststartingtowritemusic,andwegottogetherandturnedoutsomevaudevillesketches,andthenamanagersentfor



ustofixupashowthatwasdyingontheroadandwehadthegoodlucktoturnitintoasuccess,andafterthatitwasprettygoodgoing.GeorgeBevangotmarriedtheotherday.Luckydevil!"

"Areyoumarried?"

"No."

"Youwerefaithfultomymemory?"saidJillwithasmile.

"Iwas."

"Itcan'tlast,"saidJill,shakingherhead."Oneofthesedaysyou'llmeetsomelovelyAmericangirlandthenyou'llputawormdownherbackorpullherhairorwhateveritisyoudowhenyouwanttoshowyourdevotion,and....Whatareyoulookingat?Issomethinginterestinggoingonbehindme?"

Hehadbeenlookingpastheroutintotheroom.

"It'snothing,"hesaid."Onlythere'sastatuesqueoldladyabouttwotablesbackofyouwhohasbeenstaringatyou,withintervalsforrefreshment,forthelastfiveminutes.Youseemtofascinateher."

"Anoldlady?"

"Yes.Withaglare!ShelookslikeDunsany'sBirdoftheDifficultEye.Counttenandturncarelesslyround,There,atthattable.Almostbehindyou."

"GoodHeavens!"exclaimedJill.

Sheturnedquicklyroundagain.

"What'sthematter?Doyouknowher?Somebodyyoudon'twanttomeet?"

"It'sLadyUnderhill!AndDerek'swithher!"

Wallyhadbeenliftinghisglass.Heputitdownrathersuddenly.

"Derek?"hesaid.

"DerekUnderhill.ThemanI'mengagedtomarry."

Therewasamoment'ssilence.

"Oh!"saidWallythoughtfully."Themanyou'reengagedtomarry?Yes,Isee!"

Heraisedhisglassagain,anddrankitscontentsquickly.

II

Jilllookedathercompanionanxiously.RecenteventshadcausedhercompletelytoforgettheexistenceofLadyUnderhill.Shewasalwayssointenselyinterestedinwhatshehappenedtobedoingatthemomentthatsheoftensufferedthesetemporarylapsesofmemory.Itoccurredtohernow--toolate,asusual--thattheSavoyHotelwasthelastplaceinLondonwheresheshouldhavecometosupperwithWally.It



wasthehotelwhereLadyUnderhillwasstaying.Shefrowned.Lifehadsuddenlyceasedtobecarelessandhappy,andhadbecomeaproblem-riddenthing,fullofperplexityandmisunderstandings.

"WhatshallIdo?"

WallyMasonstartedatthesoundofhervoice.Heappearedtobedeepinthoughtsofhisown.

"Ibegyourpardon?"

"WhatshallIdo?"

"Ishouldn'tbeworried."

"Derekwillbeawfullycross."

Wally'sgood-humouredmouthtightenedalmostimperceptibly.

"Why?"hesaid."There'snothingwronginyourhavingsupperwithanoldfriend."

"N-no,"saidJilldoubtfully."But...."

"DerekUnderhill,"saidWallyreflectively."IsthatSirDerekUnderhill,whosenameone'salwaysseeinginthepapers?"

"Derekisinthepapersalot.He'sanM.P.andallsortsofthings."

"Good-lookingfellow.Ah,here'sthecoffee."

"Idon'twantany,thanks."

"Nonsense.Whyspoilyourmealbecauseofthis?Doyousmoke?"

"No,thanks."

"Givenitup,eh?Daresayyou'rewise.Stuntsthegrowthandincreasestheexpenses."

"Givenitup?"

"Don'tyouremembersharingoneofyourfather'scigarswithmebehindthehaystackinthemeadow?Wecutitinhalf.Ifinishedmyhalf,butIfancyaboutthreepuffswereenoughforyou.Thosewerehappydays!"

"Thatonewasn't!OfcourseIrememberitnow.Idon'tsupposeIshalleverforgetit."

"Thethingwasmyfault,asusual.IrecollectIdaredyou."

"Yes.Ialwaystookadare."

"Doyoustill?"

"Whatdoyoumean?"

Wallyknockedtheashoffhiscigarette.

"Well,"hesaidslowly,"suppose!weretodareyoutogetupandwalk



overtothattableandlookyourfiancéintheeyeandsay,'Stopscowlingatmybackhair!I'veaperfectrighttobesuppingwithanoldfriend!'--wouldyoudoit?"

"Ishe?"saidJillstartled.

"Scowling?Can'tyoufeelitonthebackofyourhead?"Hedrewthoughtfullyathiscigarette."IfIwereyouIshouldstopthatsortofthingatthesource.It'sahabitthatcan'tbediscouragedinahusbandtooearly.Scowlingisthecivilizedman'ssubstituteforwife-beating."

Jillmoveduncomfortablyinherchair.Herquicktemperresentedhistone.Therewasahostility,ahardlyveiledcontemptinhisvoicewhichstungher.Derekwassacred.Whoevercriticisedhim,presumed.Wally,afewminutesbeforeafriendandanagreeablecompanion,seemedtohertohavechanged.Hewasoncemoretheboywhomshehaddislikedintheolddays.Therewasagleaminhereyeswhichshouldhavewarnedhim,buthewenton.

"IshouldimaginethatthisDerekofyoursisnotoneofourleadingsunbeams.Well,Isupposehecouldhardlybe,ifthat'shismotherandthereisanythinginheredity."

"Pleasedon'tcriticiseDerek,"saidJillcoldly.

"Iwasonlysaying...."

"Nevermind.Idon'tlikeit."

AslowflushcreptoverWally'sface.Hemadenoreply,andtherefellbetweenthemasilencethatwaslikeashadow,Jillsippedhercoffeemiserably.Shewasregrettingthatlittlespurtoftemper.Shewishedshecouldhaverecalledthewords.Notthatitwastheactualwordsthathadtornasunderthisgossamerthing,thefriendshipwhichtheyhadbeguntoweavelikesomefragileweb:itwashermanner,themanneroftheprincessrebukinganunderling.Sheknewthat,ifshe

hadstruckhim,shecouldnothaveoffendedWallymoredeeply.Therearesomemenwhoseebullientnaturesenablethemtoriseunscathedfromtheworstsnub.Wally,herintuitiontoldher,wasnotthatkindofman.

Therewasonlyonewayofmendingthematter.Intheseclashesofhumantemperaments,thesesuddenstormsthatspringupoutofaclearsky,itispossiblesometimestorepairthedamage,ifthepsychologicalmomentisresolutelyseized,bytalkingrapidlyandwithdetachmentonneutraltopics.Wordshavemadetherift,andwordsalonecanbridgeit.ButneitherJillnorhercompanioncouldfindwords,andthesilencelengthenedgrimly.WhenWallyspoke,itwasintheleveltonesofapolitestranger.

"Yourfriendshavegone."

Hisvoicewasthevoiceinwhich,whenshewentonrailwayjourneys,fellow-travellersinthecarriageenquiredofJillifshewouldpreferthewindowupordown.Ithadtheeffectofkillingherregretsandfeedingherresentment.Shewasagirlwhoneverrefusedachallenge,andshesetherselftobeasfrigidlypoliteandaloofashe.

"Really?"shesaid."Whendidtheyleave?"



"Amomentago."Thelightsgavethewarningflickerthatannouncesthearrivalofthehourofclosing.Inthemomentarydarknesstheybothrose.Wallyscrawledhisnameacrossthebillwhichthewaiterhadinsinuateduponhisattention."Isupposewehadbetterbemoving?"

Theycrossedtheroominsilence.Everybodywasmovinginthesamedirection.Thebroadstairwayleadingtothelobbywascrowdedwithchatteringsupper-parties.Thelighthadgoneupagain.

Atthecloak-roomWallystopped.

"IseeUnderhillwaitingupthere,"hesaidcasually."Totakeyouhome,Isuppose.Shallwesaygood-night?I'mstayinginthehotel."

Jillglancedtowardstheheadofthestairs.Derekwasthere.Hewasalone.LadyUnderhillpresumablyhadgoneuptoherroomintheelevator.

Wallywasholdingouthishand.Hisfacewasstolidandhiseyesavoidedhers.

"Good-bye,"hesaid.

"Good-bye,"saidJill.

Shefeltcuriouslyembarrassed.Atthislastmomenthostilityhadweakened,andshewasconsciousofadesiretomakeamends.Sheandthismanhadbeenthroughmuchtogetherthatnight,muchthatwasperilousandmuchthatwaspleasant.Asuddenfeelingofremorsecameoverher.

"You'llcomeandseeus,won'tyou?"shesaidalittlewistfully."I'msuremyunclewouldliketomeetyouagain."

"It'sverygoodofyou,"saidWally,"butI'mafraidIshallbegoingbacktoAmericaatanymomentnow."

Pique,thatallyofthedevil,regaineditsslippinggripuponJill.

"Oh?I'msorry,"shesaidindifferently."Well,good-bye,then."

"Good-bye."

"Ihopeyouhaveapleasantvoyage."

"Thanks."

Heturnedintothecloak-room,andJillwentupthestairstojoinDerek.Shefeltangryanddepressed,fullofasenseofthefutility

ofthings.Peopleflashedintoone'slifeandoutagain.Wherewasthesenseofit?

III

Derekhadbeenscowling,andDerekstillscowled.Hiseyebrowswereformidable,andhismouthsmilednowelcomeatJillassheapproachedhim.Theevening,portionsofwhichJillhadfoundsoenjoyable,hadcontainednopleasantportionsforDerek.Lookingbackoveralifetime



whoseeventshadbeenalmostuniformlyagreeable,hetoldhimselfthathecouldnotrecallanotherdaywhichhadgonesocompletelyawry.Ithadstartedwiththefog.Hehatedfog.ThenhadcomethatmeetingwithhismotheratCharingCross,whichhadbeenenoughtoupsethimbyitself.Afterthat,risingtoacrescendoofunpleasantness,thedayhadprovidedthatappallingsituationattheAlbany,therecollectionofwhichstillmadehimtingle;andtherehadfollowedthesilentdinner,theboredomoftheearlypartoftheplay,thefireatthetheatre,theundignifiedscramblefortheexits,andnowthisdiscoveryofthegirlwhomhewasengagedtomarrysuppingattheSavoywithafellowhedidn'tremembereverhavingseeninhislife.AllthesethingscombinedtoinduceinDerekamoodborderingonferocity.Hisbirthandincomecombiningtomakehimoneofthespoiledchildrenoftheworld,hadfittedhimillforsuchaseriesofcatastrophes.HereceivedJillwithfrozensilenceandledherouttothewaitingtaxi-cab.Itwasonlywhenthecabhadstartedonitsjourneythathefoundreliefinspeech.

"Well,"hesaid,masteringwithdifficultyaninclinationtoraisehisvoicetoashout,"perhapsyouwillkindlyexplain?"

Jillhadsunkbackagainstthecushionsofthecab.Thetouchofhisbodyagainsthersalwaysgaveherathrill,halfpleasurable,halffrightening.Shehadnevermetanybodywhoaffectedherinthiswayas

Derekdid.Shemovedalittlecloser,andfeltforhishand.But,asshetouchedit,itretreated--coldly.Herheartsank.Itwaslikebeingcutinpublicbysomebodyverydignified.

"Derek,darling!"Herlipstrembled.OthershadseenthissideofDerekUnderhillfrequently,forhewasamanwhobelievedinkeepingtheworldinitsplace,butshenever.Toherhehadalwaysbeentheperfect,graciousknight.Alittletooperfect,perhaps,atrifletoogracious,possibly,butshehadbeentoodeeplyinlovetonoticethat."Don'tbecross!"

TheEnglishlanguageistherichestintheworld,andyetsomehowinmomentswhenwordscountmostwegenerallychoosethewrongones.The

adjective"cross"asadescriptionofhisJove-likewraththatconsumedhiswholebeingjarreduponDerekprofoundly.ItwasasthoughPrometheus,withthevulturestearinghisliver,hadbeenaskedifhewerepiqued.

"Cross!"

Thecabrolledon.Lightsfromlamp-postsflashedinatwindows.Itwasapale,anxiouslittlefacethattheylitupwhentheyshoneuponJill.

"Ican'tunderstandyou,"saidDerekatlast.Jillnoticedthathehadnotyetaddressedherbyhername.Hewasspeakingstraightoutin

frontofhimasifheweresoliloquising."Isimplycannotunderstandyou.Afterwhathappenedbeforedinnerto-night,foryoutocapeverythingbygoingoffalonetosupperatarestaurant,wherehalfthepeopleintheroommusthaveknownyou,withaman...."

"Youdon'tunderstand!"

"Exactly!IsaidIdidnotunderstand."ThefeelingofhavingscoredapointmadeDerekfeelalittlebetter."Iadmitit.Yourbehaviourisincomprehensible.Wheredidyoumeetthisfellow?"



"Imethimatthetheatre.Hewastheauthoroftheplay."

"Themanyoutoldmeyouhadbeentalkingto?Thefellowwhoscrapedacquaintancewithyoubetweentheacts?"

"ButIfoundouthewasanoldfriend.Imean,IknewhimwhenIwasachild."

"Youdidn'ttellmethat."

"Ionlyfounditoutlater."

"Afterhehadinvitedyoutosupper!It'smaddening!"criedDerek,thesenseofhiswrongssurgingbackoverhim."Whatdoyousupposemymotherthought?Sheaskedmewhothemanwithyouwas.IhadtosayIdidn'tknow!Whatdoyousupposeshethought?"

ItistobedoubtedwhetheranythingelseintheworldcouldhaverestoredthefightingspirittoJill'scoweringsoulatthatmoment;butthereferencetoLadyUnderhillachievedthismiracle.Thatdeepmutualantipathywhichissomuchmorecommonthanloveatfirstsighthadsprungupbetweenthetwoattheinstantoftheirmeeting.Thecircumstancesofthatmeetinghadcausedittotakerootandgrow.To

Jill,Derek'smotherwasbythistimenotsomuchafellowhumanbeingwhomshedislikedasasomething,asortofforce,thatmadeforherunhappiness.Shewasamenaceandaloathing.

"Ifyourmotherhadaskedmethatquestion,"sheretortedwithspirit,"Ishouldhavetoldherthathewasthemanwhogotmesafelyoutofthetheatreafteryou...."Shecheckedherself.Shedidnotwanttosaytheunforgivablething."Yousee,"shesaidmorequietly,"youhaddisappeared...."

"Mymotherisanoldwoman,"saidDerekstiffly."NaturallyIhadtolookafterher.Icalledtoyoutofollow."

"Oh,Iunderstand.I'msimplytryingtoexplainwhathappened.Iwasthereallalone,andWallyMason...."

"Wally!"Derekutteredashortlaugh,almostabark."ItgottoChristiannames,eh?"

Jillsetherteeth.

"ItoldyouIknewhimasachild.IalwayscalledhimWallythen."

"Ibegyourpardon.Ihadforgotten."

"Hegotmeoutthroughthepass-doorontothestageandthroughthe

stage-door."

Derekwasfeelingcheated.Hehadtheuncomfortablesensationthatcomestomenwhograndlycontemplatemountainsandseethemdwindletomolehills.Theapparentlyoutrageoushadshownitselfinexplanationnothingsoout-of-the-wayafterall.HeseizeduponthesinglepointinJill'sbehaviourthatstillconstitutedagrievance.

"Therewasnoneedforyoutogotosupperwiththeman!"Jove-likewrathhadebbedawaytosomethingdeplorablylikeaquerulousgrumble.



"Youshouldhavegonestraighthome.YoumusthaveknownhowanxiousIwouldbeaboutyou."

"Well,really,Derek,dear!Youdidn'tseemsoveryanxious!Youwerehavingsupperyourselfquitecosily."

Thehumanmindiscuriouslyconstituted.Itisworthyofrecordthat,despitehismother'sobviousdisapprovalofhisengagement,despitealltheoccurrencesofthisdreadfulday,itwasnottillshemadethisremarkthatDerekUnderhillfirstadmittedtohimselfthat,intoxicatehissensesasshemight,therewasapossibilitythatJillMarinerwasnottheidealwifeforhim.Theideacameandwentmorequicklythanbreathuponamirror.Itpassed,butithadbeen.Therearemenwhofearreparteeinawifemorekeenlythanasword.Derekwasoneofthese.Likemostmenofsingleoutlook,whosedignityistheirmostpreciouspossession,hewincedfromanedgedtongue.

"Mymotherwasgreatlyupset,"herepliedcoldly."Ithoughtacupofsoupwoulddohergood.And,asforbeinganxiousaboutyou,Itelephonedtoyourhometoaskifyouhadcomein."

"Andwhen,"thoughtJill,"theytoldyouIhadn't,youwentofftosupper!"

Shedidnotspeakthewords.Ifshehadanedgedtongue,shehadalsothecontrolofit.ShehadnowishtowoundDerek.Whole-heartedineverythingshedid,shelovedhimwithherwholeheart.Theremightbespecksuponheridol--thatitsfeetmightbeclayshecouldneverbelieve--buttheymatterednothing.Shelovedhim.

"I'msosorry,dear,"shesaid."Soawfullysorry!I'vebeenabadgirl,haven'tI?"

Shefeltforhishandagain,andthistimeheallowedittoremainstifflyinhergrasp.Itwaslikebeinggrudginglyrecognizedbysomebodyverydignifiedwhohadhisdoubtsaboutyoubutreservedjudgment.

ThecabdrewupatthedoorofthehouseinOvingdonSquarewhichJill'sUncleChristopherhadsettleduponasasuitableaddressforagentlemanofhisstanding.Jillputupherfacetobekissed,likeapenitentchild.

"I'llneverbenaughtyagain!"

ForaflickeringinstantDerekhesitated.Thedrive,longasitwas,hadbeentooshortwhollytorestorehisequanimity.Thenthesenseofhernearness,hersweetness,thefaintperfumeofherhair,andhereyes,shiningsoftlyinthedarknesssoclosetohisown,overcamehim.Hecrushedhertohim.

Jilldisappearedintothehousewithahappylaugh.Ithadbeenaterribleday,butithadendedwell.

"TheAlbany,"saidDerektothecabman.

Heleanedbackagainstthecushions.Hissenseswereinawhirl.Thecabrolledon.Presentlyhisexaltedmoodvanishedasquicklyasithadcome.JillabsentalwaysaffectedhimdifferentlyfromJillpresent.Hewasnotamanofstrongimagination,andthestimulusof



herwanedwhenshewasnotwithhim.LongbeforethecabreachedtheAlbanythefrownwasbackonhisface.

IV

ArrivingattheAlbany,hefoundFreddieRookelyingonhisspineinadeeparm-chair.Hisslipperedfeetwereonthemantelpiece,andhewasrestoringhiswastedtissueswithastrongwhisky-and-soda.OneofthecigarswhichBarker,thevalet,hadstampedwiththesealofhisapprovalwasinthecornerofhismouth.The_SportingTimes_,withaperusalofwhichhehadbeensoothinghisflutterednerves,hadfallenonthefloorbesidethechair.Hehadfinishedreading,andwasnowgazingpeacefullyattheceiling,hismindaperfectblank.TherewasnothingthematterwithFreddie.

"Hullo,oldthing,"heobservedasDerekentered."Soyoubuzzedoutofthefieryfurnaceallright?Iwaswonderinghowyouhadgotalong.Howareyoufeeling?I'mnotthemanIwas!Thesethingsgettheoldsystemallstirredup!I'lldoanythinginreasontoobligeandhelpthingsalongandallthat,buttobecalledonatamoment'snoticetoplayShadrach,Meshach,andAbednegorolledintoone,withoutrehearsalormake-up,isabittoothick!No,youngfeller-me-lad!Iftheatrefiresaregoingtobethefashionthisseason,theLastofthe

Rookeswillsitquietlyathomeandplaysolitaire.Mixyourselfadrinkofsomething,oldman,orsomethingofthatkind.Bytheway,yourjollyoldmater.Allright?Notevensinged?Fine!Makealongarmandgatherinacigar."

AndFreddie,havingexertedhimselftoplaythehostinasuitablemanner,wedgedhimselfmorefirmlyintohischairandblewacloudofsmoke.

Dereksatdown.Helitacigar,andstaredsilentlyatthefire.FromthemantelpieceJill'sphotographsmileddown,buthedidnotlookatit.PresentlyhisattitudebegantoweighuponFreddie.FreddiehadhadatryingeveningWhathewantedjustnowwasmerryprattle,and

hisfrienddidnotseemdisposedtocontributehisshare.Heremovedhisfeetfromthemantelpieceandwriggledhimselfsideways,sothathecouldseeDerek'sface.Itsgloomtouchedhim.ApartfromhisadmirationforDerek,hewasawarmheartedyoungman,andsympathizedwithafflictionwhenitpresenteditselfforhisnotice.

"Somethingonyourmind,oldbean?"heenquireddelicately.

Derekdidnotanswerforamoment.Thenhereflectedthat,littleasheesteemedtheother'smentality,heandFreddiehadknowneachotheralongtime,andthatitwouldbearelieftoconfideinsomeone.AndFreddie,moreover,wasanoldfriendofJillandthemanwhohadintroducedhimtoher.

"Yes,"hesaid.

"I'mlistening,oldtop,"saidFreddie."Releasethefilm."

Derekdrewathiscigar,andwatchedthesmokeasitcurledtotheceiling.

"It'saboutJill."



Freddiesignifiedhisinterestbywrigglingstillfurthersideways.

"Jill,eh?"

"Freddie,she'ssodamnedimpulsive!"

Freddienearlyrolledoutofhischair.This,hetookit,waswhatwriting-chappiescalledacoincidence.

"Rummyyoushouldsaythat,"heejaculated."Iwastellingherexactlythesamethingmyselfonlythisevening."Hehesitated."IfancyIcanseewhatyou'redrivingat,oldthing.Thewatchwordis'Whatho,themater!'yes,no?You'vebeguntogetasortofideathatifJilldoesn'twatchherstep,she'sapttosinkprettylowinthebetting,what?Iknowexactlywhatyoumean!YouandIknowallrightthatJill'satopper.Butonecanseethattoyourmatershemightseemabitdifferent.Imeantosay,yourjollyoldmateronlyjudgingbyfirstimpressions,andthemeetingnothavingcomeoffquiteasscheduled....Isay,oldman,"hebrokeoff,"fearfullysorryandallthataboutthatbusiness.YouknowwhatImean!Wouldn'thavehadithappenfortheworld.Itakeitthematerwasatriflepeeved?Nottosayperturbedandchagrined?Iseemedtonoticeitatdinner."

"Shewasfurious,ofcourse.Shedidnotrefertothematterwhenwe

werealonetogether,buttherewasnoneedto.Iknewwhatshewasthinking."

Derekthrewawayhiscigar.Freddienotedthisevidenceofanoverwroughtsoulwithconcern.

"Thewholething,"heconceded,"wasabitunfortunate."

Derekbegantopacetheroom.

"Freddie."

"Onthespot,oldman."

"Something'sgottobedone."

"Absolutely!"Freddienoddedsolemnly.Hehadtakenthismattergreatlytoheart.Derekwashisbestfriend,andhehadalwaysbeenextremelyfondofJill.Ithurthimtoseethingsgoingwrong."I'lltellyouwhat,oldbean.Let_me_handlethisbingeforyou."

"You?"

"Me!TheFinalRooke!"Hejumpedup,andleanedagainstthemantelpiece."I'mtheladtodoit.I'veknownJillforyears.She'lllistentome.I'lltalktoherlikeaDutchuncleandmakeher

understandthegeneralschemeofthings.I'lltakeherouttoteato-morrowandslangherinnouncertainvoice!Leavethewholethingto_me_,laddie!"

Derekconsidered.

"Itmightdosomegood,"hesaid.

"Good?"saidFreddie."It's_it_,dearboy!It'sawheeze!Youtoddleofftobedandhaveagoodsleep.I'llfixthewholethingforyou!"



CHAPTERV

LADYUNDERHILLRECEIVESASHOCK

I

TherearestreetsinLondonintowhichthesunseemsnevertopenetrate.Someoftheseareinfashionablequarters,anditistobesupposedthattheirinhabitantsfindanaddresswhichlookswellonnote-paperasufficientcompensationforthegloomthatgoeswithit.Themajority,however,areinthemeanneighbourhoodsofthegreatrailwaytermini,andappeartooffernocompensationwhatever.Theyarelean,furtivestreets,greyastheJanuaryskywithasortofarresteddecay.Theysmellofcabbageandaremuchprowledoverbyvagromcats.Atnighttheyareemptyanddark,andastillnessbroodsonthem,brokenonlybythecrackedtingleofanoccasionalpianoplayingoneoftheeasierhymns,aformofmusictowhichthedwellersinthedingyhousesaregreatlyaddicted.Bydaytheyachieveacertainanimationthroughtheintermittentappearanceofwomenin

aprons,whoshakerugsoutofthefrontdoorsor,emergingfromareas,godowntothepublic-houseonthecornerwithjugstofetchthesupper-beer.Inalmosteveryground-floorwindowthereisacardannouncingthatfurnishedlodgingsmaybehadwithin.YouwillfindthesestreetsbythescoreifyouleavethemainthoroughfaresandtakeashortcutonyourwaytoEuston,toPaddington,ortoWaterloo.ButthedingiestanddeadliestandmostdepressinglieroundaboutVictoria.AndDaubenyStreet,Pimlico,isoneoftheworstofthemall.

Ontheafternoonfollowingtheeventsrecorded,agirlwasdressingintheground-floorroomofNumberNine,DaubenyStreet.Atraybearingtheremainsofalatebreakfaststoodonthericketytablebesidea

bowlofwaxflowers.Frombeneaththetablepeeredthegreencoverofacopyof_Variety_.Agreyparrotinacagebythewindowcrackedseedandlookedoutintotheroomwithasatiricaleye.Hehadseenallthissomanytimesbefore--NellyBryantarrayingherselfinhersmartestclothestogooutandbesiegeagentsintheirofficesofftheStrand.Ithappenedeveryday.Inanhourortwoshewouldcomebackasusual,say"Oh,Gee!"inatiredsortofvoice,andthenBilltheparrot'sdayproperwouldbegin.Hewasabirdwholikedthesoundofhisownvoice,andhenevergotthechanceofareallysustainedconversationtillNellyreturnedintheevening.

"Whocares?"saidBill,andcrackedanotherseed.

Ifroomsareanindicationofthecharactersoftheiroccupants,NellyBryantcamewelloutofthetestofhersurroundings.NothingcanmakeaLondonfurnishedroommuchlesshorriblethanitintendstobe,butNellyhaddoneherbest.Thefurniture,whattherewasofit,wasofthatlodging-housekindwhichresemblesnothingelseintheworld.Butafewlittletoucheshereandthere,afewinstinctivelytastefulalterationsinthegeneralschemeofthings,hadgiventheroomalmostacosyair.Lateron,withthegaslit,itwouldachievesomethingapproachinghomeliness.Nelly,likemanyanothernomad,hadtaughtherselftoaccomplishagooddealwithpoormaterial.Ontourin



America,shehadsometimesmadeevenabedroominasmallhoteltolerablycomfortable,thanwhichthereisnogreaterachievement.Oddly,consideringherlife,shehadageniusfordomesticity.

To-day,notforthefirsttime,Nellywasfeelingunhappy.Thefacethatlookedbackatheroutofthemirroratwhichshewasarranginghermostbecominghatwasweary.Itwasonlyamoderatelyprettyface,butlonelinessandunderfeedinghadgivenitawistfulexpressionthathadcharm.Unfortunately,itwasnotthesortofcharmwhichmadeagreatappealtothestout,whisky-nourishedmenwhosatbehindpaper-litteredtables,smokingcigars,intheroomsmarked"Private"intheofficesoftheatricalagents.Nellyhadbeenoutofa"shop"nowformanyweeks--eversince,infact,"FollowtheGirl"hadfinisheditslongrunattheRegalTheatre.

"FollowtheGirl,"anAmericanmusicalcomedy,hadcomeoverfromNewYorkwithanAmericancompany,ofwhichNellyhadbeenahumbleunit,and,afterplayingayearinLondonandsomeweeksinthenumberonetowns,hadreturnedtoNewYork.ItdidnotcheerNellyupinthelongeveningsinDaubenyStreettoreflectthat,ifshehadwished,shecouldhavegonehomewiththerestofthecompany.AmadimpulsehadseizedhertotryherluckinLondon,andhereshewasnow,marooned.

"Whocares?"saidBill.

Forabirdwhoenjoyedtalkinghewasalittlelimitedinhisremarksandapttorepeathimself.

"Ido,youpoorfish!"saidNelly,completinghermanoeuvreswiththehatandturningtothecage."It'sallrightforyou--youhaveaswelltimewithnothingtodobutsitthereandeatseed--buthowdoyousupposeIenjoytrampingaroundlookingforworkandneverfindingany?"

Shepickeduphergloves."Oh,well!"shesaid."Wishmeluck!"

"Good-bye,boy!"saidtheparrot,clingingtothebars.

Nellythrustafingerintothecage,andscratchedhishead.

"Anxioustogetridofme,aren'tyou?Well,solong."

"Good-bye,boy!"

"Allright,I'mgoing.Begood!"

"Woof-woof-woof!"barkedBilltheparrot,notcommittinghimselftoanypromises.

ForsomemomentsafterNellyhadgoneheremainedhunchedonhis

perch,contemplatingtheinfinite.Thenhesaunteredalongtotheseed-boxandtooksomemorelightnourishment.Healwayslikedtospreadhismealsout,tomakethemlastlonger.Adrinkofwatertowashthefooddown,andhereturnedtothemiddleofthecage,whereheproceededtoconductafewintimateresearcheswithhisbeakunderhisleftwing.Afterwhichhemewedlikeacat,andrelapsedintosilentmeditationoncemore.Heclosedhiseyesandponderedonhisfavouriteproblem--Whywasheaparrot?Thiswasalwaysgoodforanhourorso,anditwasthreeo'clockbeforehehadcometohiscustomarydecisionthathedidn'tknow.Then,exhaustedbybrain-work



andfeelingatriflehippedbythesilenceoftheroom,helookedabouthimforsomewayofjazzingexistenceupalittle.Itoccurredtohimthatifhebarkedagainitmighthelp.

"Woof-woof-woof!"

Goodasfarasitwent,butitdidnotgofarenough.Itwasnotrealexcitement.Somethingrathermoredashingseemedtohimtobeindicated.Hehammeredforamomentortwoonthefloorofhiscage,ateamouthfulofthenewspaperthere,andstoodwithhisheadononeside,chewingthoughtfully.Itdidn'ttasteasgoodasusual.HesuspectedNellyofhavingchangedhis_DailyMail_forthe_DailyExpress_orsomething.Heswallowedthepieceofpaper,andwasstruckbythethoughtthatalittleclimbingexercisemightbewhathissouldemanded.(Youhangonbyyourbeakandclawsandworkyourwayuptotheroof.Itsoundstame,butit'ssomethingtodo.)Hetriedit.And,ashegrippedthedoorofthecageitswungopen.Billtheparrotnowperceivedthatthiswasgoingtobeoneofthosedays.Hehadnothadabitoflucklikethisformonths.

Forawhilehesatregardingtheopendoor.Unlessexcitedbyoutsideinfluences,heneverdidanythinginahurry.Thenproceedingcautiously,hepassedoutintotheroom.Hehadbeenouttherebefore,butalwayschaperonedbyNelly.Thiswassomethingquitedifferent.It

wasanadventure.Hehoppedontothewindow-sill.Therewasaballofyellowwoolthere,buthehadlunchedandcouldeatnothing.Hecastaroundinhismindforsomethingtooccupyhim,andperceivedsuddenlythattheworldwaslargerthanhehadsupposed.Apparentlytherewasalotofitoutsidetheroom.Howlongthishadbeengoingonhedidnotknow,butobviouslyitwasathingtobeinvestigated.Thewindowwasopenatthebottom,andjustoutsidethewindowwerewhathetooktobethebarsofanotherandlargercage.AsamatteroffacttheyweretherailingswhichaffordedamodestprotectiontoNumberNine.Theyranthelengthofthehouse,andweremuchusedbysmallboysasameansofrattlingsticks.Oneofthesestick-rattlerspassedasBillstoodtherelookingdown.Thenoisestartledhimforamoment,thenheseemedtocometotheconclusionthatthissortofthingwastobe

expectedifyouwentoutintothegreatworldandthataparrotwhointendedtoseelifemustnotallowhimselftobedeterredbytrifles.Hecroonedalittle,andfinally,steppinginastatelywayoverthewindow-sill,withhistoesturnedinatrightangles,caughtatthetopoftherailingwithhisbeak,andproceededtolowerhimself.Arrivedatthelevelofthestreet,hestoodlookingout.

Adogtrottedup,spiedhim,andcametosniff.

"Good-bye,boy!"saidBillchattily.

Thedogwastakenaback.Hitherto,inhislimitedexperience,birdshadbeenbirdsandmenmen.Herewasablendofthetwo.Whatwasto

bedoneaboutit?Hebarkedtentatively,then,findingthatnothingdisastrousensued,pushedhisnosebetweentwoofthebarsandbarkedagain.AnyonewhoknewBillcouldhavetoldhimthathewasaskingforit,andhegotit.Billleanedforwardandnippedhisnose.Thedogstartedbackwithahowlofagony.Hewaslearningsomethingneweveryminute.

"Woof-woof-woof!"saidBillsardonically.

Heperceivedtrouseredlegs,fourofthem,and,cockinghiseye



upwards,sawthattwomenofthelowerordersstoodbeforehim.TheyweregazingdownathiminthestolidmannerpeculiartotheproletariatofLondoninthepresenceoftheunusual.Forsomeminutestheystooddrinkinghimin,thenoneofthemgavejudgment.

"It'saparrot!"Heremovedapipefromhismouthandpointedwiththestem."Aperishin'parrot,Erb."

"Ah!"saidErb,amanoffewwords.

"Aparrot,"proceededtheother.Hewasseeingclearerintothemattereverymoment."That'saparrot,thatisErb.MybrotherJoe'swife'ssisterhadoneof'em.Comefromabroad,_they_do.MybrotherJoe'swife'ssister'adoneof'em.Red-'airedgelshewas.MarriedafellerdownattheDocks_She_'adoneof'em.Parrotsthey'recalled."

Hebentdownforacloserinspection,andinsertedafingerthroughtherailings.Erbabandonedhiscustomarytaciturnityandspokewordsofwarning.

"Tikecare'edon'tstingyer,'Enry!"

Henryseemedwounded.

"Woddyermean,stingme?Iknowallabartparrots,Ido.MybrotherJoe'swife'ssister'adoneof'em.Theydon't'urtyer,notifyou'rekindto'em.Youknowyerpalswhenyousee'em,don'tyer,mate?"hewenton,addressingBill,whowascontemplatingthefingerwithonehalf-closedeye.

"Good-bye,boy,"saidtheparrot,evadingthepoint.

"Jearthat?"criedHenrydelightedly."'Goo'-bye,boy!''Umantheyare!"

"'E'll'aveapieceoutofyerfinger,"warnedErbthesuspicious.

"Wot,'im?"Henry'svoicewasindignant.Heseemedtothinkthathisreputationasanexpertonparrotshadbeenchallenged."'Ewouldn't'avenopieceoutofmyfinger."

"Betyeranarf-pint'ewould'aveapieceoutofyerfinger,"persistedthesceptic.

"Noblinkin'parrot'sgoin'to'avenopieceofnofingerofmine!MybrotherJoe'swife'ssister'sparrotnever'adnopieceoutofnofingerofmine!"HeextendedthefingerfurtherandwaggleditenticinglybeneathBill'sbeak."Cheerio,matey!"hesaidwinningly."Pollywantanut?"

WhetheritwasmereindolenceorwhethertheadvertiseddocilityofthatotherparrotbelongingtoHenry'sbrother'swife'ssisterhadcausedhimtorealizethattherewasacertainstandardofgoodconductforhisspeciesonecannotsay;butforawhileBillmerelycontemplatedtemptationwithadetachedeye.

"See!"saidHenry.

"Woof-woof-woof!"saidBill.



"_Wow-Wow-Wow_!"yappedthedog,suddenlyreturningtothesceneandgoingonwiththeargumentatthepointwherehehadleftoff.

TheeffectonBillwascatastrophic.Everahigh-strungbird,helostcompletelythereposewhichstampsthecasteofVeredeVereandthebetterorderofparrot.Hisnerveswereshocked,and,asalwaysundersuchconditions,hisimpulsewastobiteblindly.Hebit,andHenry--onefeelssorryforHenry:hewasawell-meaningman--leapedbackwithaloudhowl.

"'That'llbe'arfapint,"saidErb,alwaysthebusinessman.

Therewasalullintherapidaction.Thedog,mumblingsoftlytohimself,hadmovedawayagainandwaswatchingaffairsfromtheedgeofthesidewalk.Erb,havingwonhispoint,wassilentoncemore.Henrysuckedhisfinger.Bill,havingmettheworldsquarelyandshownitwhatwaswhat,stoodwherehewas,whistlingnonchalantly.

Henryremovedhisfingerfromhismouth."Lendtheloanofthatstickofyours,Erb,"hesaidtensely.

Erbsilentlyyieldedupthestoutstickwhichwashisinseparablecompanion.Henry,avastlydifferentmanfromthegenialsauntererofamomentago,pokedwildlythroughtherailings.Bill,panic-stricken

nowandwishingfornothingbetterthantobebackinhiscosycage,shriekedloudlyforhelp.AndFreddieRooke,runningroundthecornerwithJill,stoppeddeadandturnedpale.

"GoodGod!"saidFreddie.

II

InpursuanceofhisovernightpromisetoDerek,FreddieRookehadgotintouchwithJillthroughthemediumofthetelephoneimmediatelyafterbreakfast,andhadarrangedtocallatOvingdonSquareintheafternoon.Arrivedthere,hefoundJillwithatelegraminherhand.

HerUncleChristopher,whohadbeenenjoyingabreathofsea-airdownatBrighton,wasreturningbyanafternoontrain,andJillhadsuggestedthatFreddieshouldaccompanyhertoVictoria,pickupUncleChris,andescorthimhome.Freddie,whoseideahadbeena _tête-à-tête_involvingabrotherlylectureonimpetuosity,haddemurredbuthadgivenwayintheend;andtheyhadsetouttowalktoVictoriatogether.TheirwayhadlainthroughDaubenyStreet,andtheyturnedthecornerjustasthebrutalonslaughtontheinnocentHenryhadoccurred.Bill'sshrieks,whichwereofanappallingtimbre,broughtthemtoahalt.

"Whatisit?"criedJill.

"Itsoundslikeamurder!"

"Nonsense!"

"Idon'tknow,youknow.Thisisthesortofstreetchappiesaremurderingpeopleinallthetime."

Theycaughtsightofthegroupinfrontofthem,andwerereassured.NobodycouldpossiblybelookingsoaloofanddistraitasErbiftherewereamurdergoingon.



"It'sabird!"

"It'sajollyoldparrot.Seeit?Justinsidetherailings."

Ared-hotwaveofragesweptoverJill.Whateverherdefects--andalreadythisstoryhasshownherfarfromperfect--shehadtheexcellentqualityoflovinganimalsandblazingintofurywhenshesawthemill-treated.AtleastthreedraymenweregoingaboutLondonwithburningearsastheresultofwhatshehadsaidtothemondiscoveringthemabusingtheirpatienthorses.Zoologically,Billtheparrotwasnotananimal,buthecountedasonewithJill,andshespeddownDaubenyStreettohisrescue--Freddie,spattedandhattedandtrouseredasbecamethemanoffashion,followingdisconsolately,ruefullyawarethathedidnotlookhisbestsprintinglikethat.ButJillwascuttingoutawarmpace,andheheldhishatonwithoneneatly-glovedhandanddidwhathecouldtokeepup.

Jillreachedthesceneofbattle,and,stopping,eyedHenrywithabalefulglare.We,whohaveseenHenryinhiscalmermomentsandknowhimforthegoodfellowhewas,areawarethathewasmoresinnedagainstthansinning.Ifthereisanyspiritofjusticeinus,wearepro-Henry.InhisencounterwithBilltheparrot,Henryundoubtedlyhadrightonhisside.Hisfriendlyovertures,madeinthebestspirit

ofkindliness,hadbeenrepulsed.Hehadbeenseverelybitten.AndhehadlosthalfapintofbeertoErb.AsimpartialjudgeswehavenoothercoursebeforeusthantowishHenryluckandbidhimgotoit.ButJill,whohadnotseentheopeningstagesoftheaffair,thoughtfarotherwise.ShemerelysawinHenryagreatbruteofamanpokingatadefencelessbirdwithastick.

SheturnedtoFreddie,whohadcomeupatagallopandwaswonderingwhythedeucethissortofthinghappenedtohimoutofacityofsixmillions.

"Makehimstop,Freddie!"

"Oh,Isay,youknow,what?"

"Can'tyouseehe'shurtingthepoorthing?Makehimleaveoff!Brute!"sheaddedtoHenry(forwhomone'sheartbleeds),ashejabbedonceagainathisadversary.

FreddiesteppedreluctantlyuptoHenry,andtappedhimontheshoulder.Freddiewasoneofthosemenwhohavearootedideathataconversationofthissortcanonlybebegunbyatapontheshoulder.

"'Lookhere,youknow,youcan'tdothissortofthing,youknow!"saidFreddie.

Henryraisedascarletface.

"'Ooare_you_?"hedemanded.

Thisattackfromtherear,comingontopofhisothertroubles,triedhisrestraintsorely.

"Well--"Freddiehesitated.Itseemedsillytoofferthefellowoneofhiscards."Well,asamatteroffact,myname'sRooke...."



"Goo!"saidHenry,andsatdown.

Andthen,frombehindJill,avoicespoke.

"What'sallthis?"

Astoutpolicemanhadmanifestedhimselffromemptyspace.

"Thiswon'tdo!"saidthepoliceman.

Erb,whohadbeenasilentspectatorofthefray,burstintospeech.

"She'it'im!"

ThepolicemanlookedatJill.Hewasanofficerofmanyyears'experienceintheForce,andtimehaddulledinhimthatrespectforgoodclotheswhichhehadbroughtwithhimfromLittle-Sudbury-in-the-Woldinthedaysofhisnovitiate.Jillwaswelldressed,but,inthestirringepochoftheSuffragedisturbances,thepolicemanhadbeenkickedontheshinsandevenbittenbyladiesofanequallyelegantexterior.Hearts,thepolicemanknew,justaspureandfairmaybeatinBelgraveSquareasinthelowlierairofSevenDials,butyouhavetopinchthemjustthesamewhentheydisturbthepeace.Hisgaze,asitfelluponJill,red-handedasitwerewiththestickstillinhergrasp,wasstern.

"Yourname,please,andaddress,miss?"hesaid.

Agirlinbluewithabighathadcomeup,andwasstandingstaringopen-mouthedatthegroup.AtthesightofherBilltheparrotutteredashriekofwelcome.NellyBryanthadreturned,andeverythingwouldnowbeallrightagain.

"Mariner,"saidJill,paleandbright-eyed."IliveatNumberTwenty-two,OvingdonSquare."

"Andyours,sir?"

"Mine?Oh,ah,yes.Iseewhatyoumean.Rooke,youknow.F.L.Rooke.IliveattheAlbanyandallthatsortofthing."

Thepolicemanmadeanentryinhisnote-book.

"Officer,"criedJill,"thismanwastryingtokillthatparrotandIstoppedhim...."

"Can'thelpthat,miss.You'adn'tnorighttohitamanwithastick.You'll'avetocomealong."

"But,Isay,youknow!"Freddiewasappalled.Thissortofthinghadhappenedtohimbefore,butonlyonBoat-RaceNightattheEmpire,

whereitwasexpectedofachappie."Imeantosay!"

"Andyou,too,sir.You'rebothinit."

"But...."

"Oh,comealong,Freddie,"saidJillquietly."It'sperfectlyabsurd,butit'snousemakingafuss."

"That,"saidthepolicemancordially,"istherightspirit!"



III

LadyUnderhillpausedforbreath.Shehadbeentalkinglongandvehemently.SheandDerekweresittinginFreddieRooke'sapartmentattheAlbany,andthesubjectofhermonologuewasJill.Derekhadbeenexpectingtheattack,andhadwonderedwhyithadnotcomebefore.Allthroughsupperonthepreviousnight,evenafterthediscoverythatJillwassuppingatanear-bytablewithamanwhowasastrangertoherson,LadyUnderhillhadpreservedagrimreticencewithregardtoherfuturedaughter-in-law.Butto-dayshehadspokenhermindwithalltheenergywhichcomesofsuppression.Shehadrelievedherselfwithaflowofwordsofallthepent-uphostilitythathadbeengrowingwithinhersincethatfirstmeetinginthissameroom.Shehadtalkedrapidly,forshewastalkingagainsttime.TheTownCounciloftheprincipalcityinDerek'sconstituencyinthenorthofEnglandhaddecidedthatto-morrowmorningshouldwitnessthelayingofthefoundationstoneoftheirnewTownHall,andDerekasthesittingmemberwastopresideatthecelebration.AlreadyBarkerhadbeendispatchedtotelephoneforacabtotakehimtothestation,andatanymomenttheirconversationmightbeinterrupted.SoLadyUnderhillmadethemostofwhatlittletimeshehad.

Dereklistenedgloomily,scarcelyrousinghimselftoreply.Hismotherwouldhavebeengratifiedcouldshehaveknownhowpowerfullyherargumentswereworkingonhim.ThatlittleimpofdoubtwhichhadvexedhiminthecabashedrovehomefromOvingdonSquarehadnotdiedinthenight.Ithadgrownandwaxedmoreformidable.Andnow,aidedbythisallyfromwithout,ithadbecomeaColossusstraddlinghissoul.Dereklookedfrequentlyattheclock,andcursedtheunknowncabmanwhosedelaywasprolongingthescene.Somethingtoldhimthatonlyflightcouldservehimnow.Heneverhadbeenabletowithstandhismotherinoneofhermilitantmoods.Sheseemedtonumbhisfaculties.OthermembersofhisfamilyhadalsonotedthisqualityinLadyUnderhill,andhadcommentedonitbitterlyinthesmoking-roomsofdistantcountry-housesatthehourwhenmenmeettodrinkthefinal

whisky-and-sodaandunburdentheirsouls.

LadyUnderhill,havingsaidallshehadtosay,recoveredherbreathandbegantosayitagain.Frequentiterationwasoneofherstrongestweapons.AsherbrotherEdwin,whowasfondofhomelyimagery,hadoftenobserved,shecouldtalkthehind-legoffadonkey.

"Youmustbemad,Derek,todreamofhandicappingyourselfatthisvitalstageofyourcareerwithawifewhonotonlywillnotbeahelptoyou,butmustactuallybearuinoushandicap.Iamnotblamingyouforimaginingyourselfinloveinthefirstplace,thoughIreallyshouldhavethoughtthatamanofyourstrengthandcharacterwould....However,asIsay,Iamnotblamingyouforthat.

Superficially,nodoubt,thisgirlmightbecalledattractive.Idonotadmirethetypemyself,butIsupposeshehasthatquality--inmytimeweshouldhavecalleditboldness--whichseemstoappealtotheyoungmenofto-day.Icouldimagineherfascinatingaweak-mindedimbecilelikeyourfriendMr.Rooke.Butthatyou....Still,thereisnoneedtogointothat.WhatIamtryingtopointoutisthatinyourposition,withacareerlikeyoursinfrontofyou--it'squitecertainthatinayearortwoyouwillbeofferedsomereallybigandresponsibleposition--youwouldbeinsanetotieyourselftoagirlwhoseemstohavebeenallowedtorunperfectlywild,whoseuncleisa



swindler...."

"Shecan'tbeblamedforheruncle."

"...Whosupsalonewithstrangemeninpublicrestaurants...."

"Iexplainedthat."

"Youmayhaveexplainedit.Youcertainlydidnotexcuseitormakeitawhitlessoutrageous.YoucannotpretendthatyoureallyimaginethatanengagedgirlisbehavingwithperfectcorrectnesswhensheallowsamanshehasonlyjustmettotakehertosupperattheSavoy,evenifshedidknowhimslightlyyearsandyearsago.Itisveryidyllictosupposethatachildhoodacquaintanceexcuseseverybreachofdecorum,butIwasbroughtuptobelieveotherwise.Idon'twishtobevulgar,butwhatitamountstoisthatthisgirlwashavingsupper--supper!Inmydaysgirlswereinbedatsupper-time!--withastrangemanwhopickedherupatatheatre!"

Derekshifteduneasily.Therewasapartofhismindwhichcalleduponhimtoriseupandchallengetheoutrageousphraseanddemandthatitbetakenback.Butheremainedsilent.Theimp-Colossuswastoostrongforhim.Sheisquiteright,saidtheimp.Thatisanunpleasantbutaccuratedescriptionofwhathappened.Helookedattheclockagain,

andwishedforthehundredthtimethatthecabwouldcome.Jill'sphotographsmiledathimfrombesidetheclock.Helookedaway,for,whenhefoundhiseyesuponit,hehadanoddsensationofbaseness,asifhewereplayingsomeonefalsewholovedandtrustedhim.

"Well,Iamnotgoingtosayanymore,"shesaid,gettingupandbuttoningherglove."Iwillleaveyoutothinkitover.AllIwillsayisthat,thoughIonlymetheryesterday,IcanassureyouthatIamquiteconfidentthatthisgirlisjustthesortofharum-scarumso-called'modern'girlwhoissuresomedaytoinvolveherselfinareallyseriousscandal.Idon'twanthertobeinapositiontodragyouintoitaswell.Yes,Barker,whatisit?IsSirDerek'scabhere?"

Thelantern-jawedBarkerhadenteredsoftly,andwasstandingdeferentiallyinthedoorway.Therewasnoemotiononhisfacebeyondthevaguesadnesswhichasenseofwhatwascorrectmadehimalwayswearlikeasortofmaskwheninthepresenceofthoseofsuperiorstation.

"Thecabwillbeatthedoorveryshortly,m'lady.Ifyouplease,SirDerek,apolicemanhascomewithamessage."

"Apoliceman?"

"WithamessagefromMr.Rooke."

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Ihavehadafewwordsofconversationwiththeconstable,sir,"saidBarkersadly,"andIunderstandfromhimthatMr.RookeandMissMarinerhavebeenarrested."

"Arrested!Whatareyoutalkingabout?"

"Mr.Rookedesiredtheofficertoaskyoutobegoodenoughtostep



roundandbailthemout!"

ThegleaminLadyUnderhill'seyebecameaflame,butshecontrolledhervoice.

"WhywereMissMarinerandMr.Rookearrested,Barker?"

"AsfarasIcangather,m'lady,MissMarinerstruckamaninthestreetwithastick,andtheytookbothherandMr.RooketotheChelseaPoliceStation."

LadyUnderhillglancedatDerek,whowaslookingintothefire.

"Thisisalittleawkward,Derek,"shesaidsuavely."Ifyougotothepolice-station,youwillmissyourtrain."

"Ifancy,m'lady,itwouldbesufficientifSirDerekweretodispatchmewithachequefortenpounds."

"Verywell.Tellthepolicemantowaitamoment."

"Verygood,m'lady."

Derekrousedhimselfwithaneffort.Hisfacewasdrawnandgloomy.He

satdownatthewriting-table,andtookouthischeque-book.Therewassilenceforamoment,brokenonlybythescratchingofthepen.Barkertookthechequeandlefttheroom.

"Now,perhaps,"saidLadyUnderhill,"youwilladmitthatIwasright!"Shespokeinalmostanawedvoice,forthisoccurrenceatjustthismomentseemedtoherverylikeadirectanswertoprayer."Youcan'thesitatenow!You_must_freeyourselffromthisdetestableentanglement!"

Derekrosewithoutspeaking.Hetookhiscoatandhatfromwheretheylayonachair.

"Derek!Youwill!Sayyouwill!"

Derekputonhiscoat.

"Derek!"

"Forheaven'ssake,leavemealone,mother.Iwanttothink."

"Verywell.Iwillleaveyoutothinkitover,then."LadyUnderhillmovedtothedoor.Atthedoorshepausedforamoment,andseemedabouttospeakagain,buthermouthclosedresolutely.Shewasashrewdwoman,andknewthattheartoflifeistoknowwhentostoptalking.Whatwordshaveaccomplished,toomanywordscanundo.

"Good-bye."

"Good-bye,mother."

"I'llseeyouwhenyougetback?"

"Yes.No.Idon'tknow.I'mnotcertainwhenIshallreturn.Imaygoawayforabit."



ThedoorclosedbehindLadyUnderhill.Dereksatdownagainatthewriting-table.Hewroteafewwordsonasheetofpaper,thentoreitup.Hiseyetravelledtothemantelpiece.Jill'sphotographsmiledhappilydownathim.Heturnedbacktothewriting-table,tookoutafreshpieceofpaper,thoughtforafewmoments,andbegantowriteagain.

Thedooropenedsoftly.

"Thecabisatthedoor,SirDerek,"saidBarker.

Derekaddressedanenvelope,andgotup.

"Allright.Thanks.Oh,Barker,stopatadistrict-messengerofficeonyourwaytothepolice-station,andhavethissentoffatonce."

"Verygood,SirDerek,"saidBarker.

Derek'seyesturnedoncemoretothemantelpiece.Hestoodlookingforaninstant,thenwalkedquicklyoutoftheroom.

CHAPTERVI

UNCLECHRISBANGSTHETABLE

I

Ataxi-cabstoppedatthedoorofNumberTwenty-two,OvingdonSquare.FreddieRookeemerged,followedbyJill.WhileFreddiepaidthedriver,Jillsniffedtheafternoonairhappily.Ithadturnedintoadelightfulday.Awesterlybreeze,springingupinthemorning,hadsentthethermometerupwitharunandbrokenthecoldspellwhichhadbeengrippingLondon.Itwasoneofthoseafternoonswhichintrudeon

thebleaknessofwinterwithafalsebutnonethelessagreeableintimationthatSpringisonitsway.Thesidewalkswerewetunderfoot,andtheguttersranwiththawedsnow.Thesunshoneexhilaratinglyfromaskythecolourofahedge-sparrow'segg.

"Doesn'teverythingsmelllovely,Freddie,"saidJill,"afterourprison-life!"

"Topping!"

"Fancygettingoutsoquickly!WheneverI'marrested,Imustalwaysmakeapointofhavingarichmanwithme.Ishallneverteaseyouaboutthatfifty-poundnoteagain."

"Fifty-poundnote?"

"Itcertainlycameinhandyto-day!"

Shewasopeningthedoorwithherlatch-key,andmissedthesuddensaggingofFreddie'sjaw,thesuddenclutchathisbreast-pocket,andthelookofhorrorandanguishthatstartedintohiseyes.Freddiewasappalled.Findinghimselfatthepolice-stationpennilesswiththeexceptionofalittleloosechange,hehadsentthatmessagetoDerek,



imploringassistance,astheonlyalternativetospendingthenightinacell,withJillinanother.HehadrealizedthattherewasariskofDerektakingthematterhardly,andhehadnotwantedtogetJillintotrouble,butthereseemednothingelsetodo.Iftheyremainedwheretheywereovernight,thethingwouldgetintothepapers,andthatwouldbeathousandtimesworse.AndifheappliedforaidtoRonnyDevereuxorAlgyMartynoranybodylikethatallLondonwouldknowaboutitnextday.SoFreddie,withmisgivings,hadsentthemessagetoDerek,andnowJill'swordshadremindedhimthattherewasnoneedtohavedoneso.Yearsagohehadreadsomewhereorheardsomewhereaboutsomechappiewhoalwaysbuzzedaroundwithasizablebanknotestitchedintohisclothes,andtheschemehadseemedtohimripetoadegree.Youneverknewwhenyoumightfindyourselfshortofcashandfacedbyanimmediatecallfortheready.Hehadfollowedthechappie'sexample.Andnow,whenthecrisishadarrived,hehadforgotten--absolutelyforgotten!--thathehadthedashedthingonhispersonatall.

HefollowedJillintothehouse,groaninginspirit,butthankfulthatshehadtakenitforgrantedthathehadsecuredtheirreleaseinthemannerindicated.Hedidnotproposetodisillusionher.Itwouldbetimeenoughtotaketheblamewhentheblamecamealong.ProbablyoldDerekwouldsimplybeamusedandlaughatthewholeballyaffairlikeasportsman.Freddiecheeredupconsiderablyatthethought.

Jillwastalkingtotheparlourmaidwhoseheadhadpoppedupoverthebanistersflankingthestairsthatledtothekitchen.

"MajorSelbyhasn'tarrivedyet,miss."

"That'sodd.Isupposehemusthavetakenalatertrain."

"There'saladyinthedrawing-room,miss,waitingtoseehim.Shedidn'tgiveanyname.Shesaidshewouldwaittillthemajorcame.She'sbeenwaitingagoodishwhile."

"Allright,Jane.Thanks.Willyoubringuptea?"

Theywalkeddownthehall.Thedrawing-roomwasonthegroundfloor,along,dimroomthatwouldhavelookedlikeaconvertedstudiobutfortheabsenceofbrightlight.Agirlwassittingatthefarendbythefireplace.Sheroseastheyentered.

"Howdoyoudo?"saidJill."I'mafraidmyunclehasnotcomebackyet...."

"Say!"criedthevisitor."You_did_getoutquick!"

Jillwassurprised.Shehadnorecollectionofeverhavingseentheotherbefore.Hervisitorwasaratherprettygirl,withasortof

jauntywayofcarryingherselfwhichmadeapiquantcontrasttohertiredeyesandwistfulface.Jilltookanimmediatelikingtoher.Shelookedsoforlornandpathetic.

"Myname'sNellyBryant,"saidthegirl."Thatparrotbelongstome."

"Oh,Isee."

"Iheardyousaytothecopthatyoulivedhere,soIcamealongtotellyourfolkswhathadhappened,sothattheycoulddosomething.



Themaidsaidthatyourunclewasexpectedanyminute,soIwaited."

"Thatwasawfullygoodofyou."

"Dashedgood,"saidFreddie.

"Oh,no!Honest,Idon'tknowhowtothankyouforwhatyoudid.Youdon'tknowwhatapalBillistome.Itwouldhavebrokenmeallupifthatplug-uglyhadkilledhim."

"Butwhatashameyouhadtowaitsolong."

"Ilikedit."

NellyBryantlookedabouttheroomwistfully.Thiswasthesortofroomshesometimesdreamedabout.Sheloveditssubduedlightandthepulpycushionsonthesofa.

"You'llhavesometeabeforeyougo,won'tyou?"saidJill,switchingonthelights.

"It'sverykindofyou."

"Why,hullo!"saidFreddie."ByJove!Isay!We'vemetbefore,what?"

"Why,sowehave!"

"ThatlunchatOddy'sthatyoungThreepwoodgave,what?"

"Iwonderyouremember."

"Oh,Iremember.Quiteatimeago,eh?MissBryantwasinthatshow.'FollowtheGirl,'Jill,attheRegal."

"Oh,yes.Irememberyoutookmetoseeit."

"Dashedoddmeetingagainlikethis!"saidFreddie."Reallyrummy!"

Jane,theparlourmaid,enteringwithtea,interruptedhiscomments.

"You'reAmerican,then?"saidJillinterested."ThewholecompanycamefromNewYork,didn'tthey?"

"Yes."

"I'mhalfAmericanmyself,youknow.IusedtoliveinNewYorkwhenIwasverysmall,butI'vealmostforgottenwhatitwaslike.Irememberasortofoverheadrailwaythatmadeanawfulnoise...."

"TheElevated!"murmuredNellydevoutly.Awaveofhome-sickness

seemedtochokeherforamoment.

"Andtheair.Likechampagne.Andaverybluesky."

"Yes,"saidNellyinasmallvoice.

"Ishouldn'thalfmindpoppingoverNewYorkforabit,"saidFreddie,unconsciousoftheagonyhewasinflicting."I'vemetsomeverysoundsportsmenwhocamefromthere.Youdon'tknowafellownamedWilliamson,doyou?"



"Idon'tbelieveIdo."

"OrOakes?"

"No."

"That'srummy!OakeshaslivedinNewYorkforyears."

"Sohaveaboutsevenmillionotherpeople,"interposedJill."Don'tbesilly,Freddie.HowwouldyoulikesomebodytoaskofyouifyouknewamannamedJenkinsinLondon?"

"I_do_knowamannamedJenkinsinLondon,"repliedFreddietriumphantly.

Jillpouredoutacupofteaforhervisitor,andlookedattheclock.

"IwonderwhereUncleChrishasgotto,"shesaid."Heoughttobeherebynow.Ihopehehasn'tgotintoanymischiefamongthewildstockbrokersdownatBrighton."

Freddielaiddownhiscuponthetableandutteredaloudsnort.

"Oh,Freddie,darling!"saidJillremorsefully."Iforgot!Stockbrokersareapainfulsubject,aren'tthey!"SheturnedtoNelly."There'sbeenanawfulslumpontheStockExchangeto-day,andhegot--whatwastheword,Freddie?"

"Nipped!"saidFreddiewithgloom.

"Nipped!"

"Nippedlikethedickens!"

"Nippedlikethedickens!"JillsmiledatNelly."Hehadforgottenallaboutitintheexcitementofbeingajailbird,andIwentand

remindedhim."

FreddiesoughtsympathyfromNelly.

"AsillyassattheclubnamedJimmyMonroetoldmetotakeaflutterinsomerottenthingcalledAmalgamatedDyes.Youknowhowitis,whenyou'refeelingdevilishfitandcheeryandallthatafterdinner,andsomebodysidlesuptoyouandslipshislittlehandinyoursandtellsyoutodosomefoolthing.You'resodashedhappyyousimplysay'Right-ho,oldbird!Makeitso!'That'sthewayIgothad!"

Jilllaughedunfeelingly.

"Itwilldoyougood,Freddie.It'llstiryouupandpreventyoubeingsosillyagain.Besides,youknowyou'llhardlynoticeit.You'vemuchtoomuchmoneyasitis."

"It'snotthemoney.It'stheprincipleofthething.Ihatelookingafrightfulchump."

"Well,youneedn'ttellanybody.We'llkeepitasecret.Infact,we'llstartatonce,forIhearUncleChrisoutside.Letusdissemble.Weareobserved!...Hullo,UncleChris!"



Sherandowntheroom,asthedooropened,andkissedthetall,soldierlymanwhoentered.

"Well,Jill,mydear."

"Howlateyouare.Iwasexpectingyouhoursago."

"Ihadtocallonmybroker."

"Hush!Hush!"

"What'sthematter?"

"Nothing,nothing....We'vegotvisitors.YouknowFreddieRooke,ofcourse?"

"Howareyou,Freddie,myboy?"

"Cheerio!"saidFreddie."Prettyfit?"

"AndMissBryant,"saidJill.

"Howdoyoudo?"saidUncleChrisinthebluff,genialwaywhich,in

hisyoungerdays,hadcharmedmanyafive-poundnoteoutofthepocketsofhisfellow-menandmanyasoftglanceoutoftheeyesoftheirsisters,theircousins,andtheiraunts.

"Comeandhavesometea,"saidJill."You'rejustintime."

"Tea?Capital!"

Nellyhadsubsidedshylyintothedepthsofherbigarm-chair.SomehowshefeltabetterandamoreimportantgirlsinceUncleChrishadaddressedher.MostpeoplefeltlikethatafterencounteringJill'sUncleChristopher.UncleChrishadamanner.Itwasnotpreciselycondescending,andyetitwasnotthemannerofanequal.Hetreated

youasanequal,true,butallthetimeyouwereconsciousofthefactthatitwasextraordinarilygoodofhimtodoso.UncleChrisaffectedtherankandfileofhisfellow-menmuchasagenialknightoftheMiddleAgeswouldhaveaffectedascurvyknaveorvarletifhehadcastasidesocialdistinctionsforawhileandhobnobbedwiththelatterinatavern.Heneverpatronized,butthemerefactthatheabstainedfrompatronizingseemedsomehowimpressive.

Tothisimpressivenesshisappearancecontributedlargely.Hewasafine,upstandingman,wholookedlessthanhisforty-nineyearsinspiteofanominousthinningofthehairwhichhetendedandbrushedsocarefully.Hehadafirmchin,amouththatsmiledoftenandpleasantlybeneaththeclosely-clippedmoustache,andverybrightblue

eyeswhichmetyoursinaclear,frank,honestgaze.ThoughhehadservedinhisyouthinIndia,hehadnoneoftheAnglo-Indian'ssun-scorchedsallowness.Hiscomplexionwasfreshandsanguine.Helookedasifhehadjuststeppedoutofacoldtub--amisleadingimpression,forUncleChrisdetestedcoldwaterandalwaystookhismorningbathashotashecouldgetit.

Itwashisclothes,however,which,evenmorethanhisappearance,fascinatedthepopulace.ThereisonlyonetailorinLondon,asdistinguishedfromtheambitiousmechanicswhomakecoatsand



trousers,andUncleChriswashisbestcustomer.Similarly,Londonisfullofyoungfellowstryingtogetalongbythemanufactureoffoot-wear,butthereisonlyoneboot-makerinthetruemeaningoftheword--theonewhosuppliedUncleChris.And,asforhats,whileitisnodoubtafactthatyoucangetatplentyofLondonshopssomesortofcoveringforyourheadwhichwillkeepitwarm,theonlyhatter--usingtheterminitsdeepersense--isthemanwhoenjoyedthepatronageofMajorChristopherSelby.Fromfoottohead,inshort,fromfurthestSouthtoextremestNorth,UncleChriswasperfect.Hewasanornamenttohissurroundings.TheMetropolislookedbetterforhim.OneseemstopictureLondonasamotherwithahordeofuntidychildren,childrenwithmade-upties,childrenwithwrinkledcoatsandbaggytrouser-legs,sighingtoherselfasshebeheldthem,thencheeringupandmurmuringwithatouchofrestoredcomplacency,"Ah,well,IstillhaveUncleChris!"

"MissBryantisAmerican,UncleChris,"saidJill.

UncleChrisspreadhisshapelylegsbeforethefire,andglanceddownkindlyatNelly.

"Indeed?"Hetookacupofteaandstirredit."IwasinAmericaasayoungman."

"Whereabouts?"askedNellyeagerly.

"Oh,hereandthereandeverywhere.Itravelledconsiderably."

"That'showitiswithme,"saidNelly,overcomingherdiffidenceasshewarmedtothefavouritetopic."IguessIknowmosteverytownineveryState,fromNewYorktothelastone-nightstand.It'sagreatoldcountry,isn'tit?"

"Itis!"saidUncleChris."Ishallbereturningthereveryshortly."Hepausedmeditatively."Veryshortlyindeed."

Nellybitherlip.Itseemedtobeherfateto-daytomeetpeoplewho

weregoingtoAmerica.

"Whendidyoudecidetodothat?"askedJill.

Shehadbeenlookingathim,puzzled.YearsofassociationwithUncleChrishadenabledhertoreadhismoodsquickly,andshewassurethattherewassomethingonhismind.Itwasnotlikelythattheothershadnoticedit,forhismannerwasasgenialandurbaneasever.Butsomethingabouthim,alookinhiseyesthatcameandwent,anoccasionalquicktwitchingofhismouth,toldherthatallwasnotwell.Shewasalittletroubled,butnotgreatly.UncleChriswasnotthesortofmantowhomgravetragedieshappened.Itwasprobablysomemeretriflewhichshecouldsmoothoutforhiminfiveminutes,once

theywerealonetogether.Shereachedoutandpattedhissleeveaffectionately.ShewasfonderofUncleChristhanofanyoneintheworldexceptDerek.

"Thethought,"saidUncleChris,"cametomethismorning,asIreadmymorningpaperwhilebreakfasting.Ithasgrownanddevelopedduringtheday.Atthismomentyoumightalmostcallitanobsession.IamveryfondofAmerica.Ispentseveralhappyyearsthere.OnthatoccasionIsetsailforthelandofpromise,Iadmit,somewhatreluctantly.OfmyownfreewillImightneverhavemadethe



expedition.ButthegeneralsentimentseemedsostronglyinfavourofmydoingsothatIyieldedtowhatImightcallapublicdemand.Thewillinghandsformynearestanddearestwerebehindme,pushing,andIdidnotresistthem.Ihaveneverregrettedit.Americaisapartofeveryyoungman'seducation.Yououghttogothere,Freddie."

"Rummilyenough,"saidFreddie,"IwassayingjustbeforeyoucameinthatIhadhalfamindtopopover.Onlyit'sratheraballyfag,starting.Gettingyourluggagepackedandallthatsortofthing."

Nelly,whoseluggageconsistedofonesmalltrunk,heavedasilentsigh.Minglingwiththeidlerichcarrieditspenalties.

"America,"saidUncleChris,"taughtmepoker,forwhichIcanneverbesufficientlygrateful.AlsoanexoticpastimestyledCraps--or,alternatively,'rollingthebones'--whichinthosedayswasaverypresenthelpintimeoftrouble.AtCraps,Ifear,myhandinlateyearshaslostmuchofitscunning.Ihavehadlittleopportunityofpractising.ButasayoungmanIwasnomeanexponentoftheart.Letmesee,"saidUncleChrismeditatively."Whatwasthepreciseritual?Ah!Ihaveit,'Come,littleseven!'"

"'Come,eleven!'"exclaimedNellyexcitedly.

"'Baby....'Ifeelconvincedthatinsomemannerthewordbabyenteredintoit."

"'Babyneedsnewshoes!'"

"'Babyneedsnewshoes!'Precisely!"

"Itsoundstome,"saidFreddie,"dashedsilly."

"Oh,no!"criedNellyreproachfully.

"Well,whatImeanis,there'snosenseinit,don'tyouknow."

"Itisanoblepursuit,"saidUncleChrisfirmly."Worthyofthegreatnationthathasproducedit.Nodoubt,whenIreturntoAmerica,Ishallhaveopportunitiesofrecoveringmylostskill."

"Youaren'treturningtoAmerica,"saidJill."You'regoingtostaysafeathomelikeagoodlittleuncle.I'mnotgoingtohaveyourunningwildallovertheworldatyourage."

"Age?"declaimedUncleChris."Whatismyage?AtthepresentmomentIfeelintheneighbourhoodoftwenty-one,andAmbitionistappingmeontheshoulderandwhispering'Youngman,goWest!'Theyearsareslippingawayfromme,mydearJill--slippingsoquicklythatinafewminutesyouwillbewonderingwhymynursedoesnotcometofetchme.

Thewanderlustisuponme.IgazearoundmeatallthisprosperityinwhichIamlapped,"saidUncleChris,eyeingthearm-chairseverely,"allthiscomfortandluxurywhichswaddlesme,andIfeelstaggered.Iwantactivity.Iwanttobebraced!"

"Youwouldhateit,"saidJillcomposedly."Youknowyou'rethelaziestolddarlingintheworld."

"ExactlywhatIamendeavouringtopointout.I_am_lazy.Or,Iwastillthismorning."



"Somethingveryextraordinarymusthavehappenedthismorning.Icanseethat."

"Iwallowedingrosscomfort.IwaswhatShakespearecallsa'fatandgreasycitizen'!"

"Please,UncleChris!"protestedJill."NotwhileI'meatingbutteredtoast!"

"ButnowIammyselfagain."

"That'ssplendid."

"Ihaveheardthebeatoftheoff-shorewind,"chantedUncleChris,"andthethreshofthedeep-searain.Ihaveheardthesong--Howlong!howlong!Pulloutonthetrailagain!"

"Hecanalsorecite'GungaDin,'"saidJilltoNelly."Ireallymustapologizeforallthis.He'susuallyasgoodasgold."

"IbelieveIknowhowhefeels,"saidNellysoftly.

"Ofcourseyoudo.YouandI,MissBryant,areofthegipsiesofthe

world.WearenotvegetableslikeyoungRookehere."

"Eh,what?"saidthevegetable,wakingfromareverie.HehadbeenwatchingNelly'sface.Itswistfulnessattractedhim.

"Weareonlyhappy,"proceededUncleChris,"whenwearewandering."

"YoushouldseeUncleChriswandertohisclubinthemorning,"saidJill."Hetrudgesoffinataxi,singingwildgipsysongs,absolutelydefyingfatigue."

"That,"saidUncleChris,"isaperfectlyjustifiedslur.Ishudderatthedepthstowhichprosperityhascausedmetosink."Heexpandedhis

chest."IshallbeadifferentmaninAmerica.Americawouldmakeadifferentmanof_you_,Freddie."

"I'mallright,thanks!"saidthateasilysatisfiedyoungman.

UncleChristurnedtoNelly,pointingdramatically.

"Youngwoman,goWest!Returntoyourbracinghome,andleavethisenervatingLondon!You...."

Nellygotupabruptly.Shecouldendurenomore.

"IbelieveI'llhavetobegoingnow,"shesaid."Billmissesmeif

I'mawaylong.Good-bye.Thankyoueversomuchforwhatyoudid."

"Itwasawfullykindofyoutocomeround,"saidJill.

"Good-bye,MajorSelby."

"Good-bye."

"Good-bye,Mr.Rooke."



Freddieawokefromanotherreverie.

"Eh?Oh,Isay,halfajiffy.IthinkImayaswellbetoddlingalongmyself.AbouttimeIwasgettingbacktodressfordinnerandallthat.Seeyouhome,mayI,andthenI'llgetataxiatVictoria.Toodle-oo,everybody."

*****

FreddieescortedNellythroughthehallandopenedthefrontdoorforher.Thenightwascoolandcloudyandtherewasstillintheairthatodd,rejuvenatingsuggestionofSpring.Awetfragrancecamefromthedrippingtrees.

"Toppingevening!"saidFreddieconversationally.

"Yes."

Theywalkedthroughthesquareinsilence.Freddieshotanappreciativeglanceathiscompanion.Freddie,ashewouldhaveadmittedfrankly,wasnotmuchofaladforthemoderngirl.Themoderngirl,heconsidered,wastoodashedrowdyandexuberantforachappieofpeacefultastes.Now,thisgirl,ontheotherhand,hadalltheearmarksofbeingsomethingofatopper.Shehadasoftvoice.

Rummyaccentandallthat,butneverthelessasoftandpleasingvoice.Shewasmildandunaggressive,andthesewerequalitieswhichFreddieesteemed.Freddie,thoughthiswasathinghewouldnothaveadmitted,wasafraidofgirls,thesortofgirlshehadtotakedowntodinneranddancewithandsoforth.Theyweretoodashedclever,andalwaysseemedtobewaitingforachancetoscoreoffafellow.Thisonewasnotlikethat.Notabit.Shewasgentleandquietandwhatnot.

Itwasatthispointthatitcamehometohimhowremarkablyquietshewas.Shehadnotsaidawordforthelastfiveminutes.Hewasjustabouttobreakthesilence,when,astheypassedunderastreetlamp,heperceivedthatshewascrying--cryingverysoftlytoherself,likeachildinthedark.

"GoodGod!"saidFreddieappalled.Thereweretwothingsinlifewithwhichhefelttotallyunabletocope--cryinggirlsanddog-fights.TheglimpsehehadcaughtofNelly'sfacefrozehimintoaspeechlessnesswhichlasteduntiltheyreachedDaubenyStreetandstoppedatherdoor.

"Good-bye,"saidNelly.

"Good-bye-ee!"saidFreddiemechanically."That'stosay,Imeantosay,halfasecond!"headdedquickly.Hefacedhernervously,withonehandonthegrimyrailings.Thiswantedlookinginto.Whenitcametogirlstricklingtoandfrointhepublicstreets,weeping,well,it

wasprettyrottenandsomethinghadtobedoneaboutit."What'sup?"hedemanded.

"It'snothing.Good-bye."

"But,mydearoldsoul,"saidFreddie,clutchingtherailingformoralsupport,"itissomething.Itmustbe!Youmightnotthinkit,tolookatme,butI'mreallyratheradashedshrewdchap,andIcan_see_ there'ssomethingup.Whynotgivemethejollyoldscenarioandseeifwecan'tdosomething?"



Nellymovedasiftoturntothedoor,thenstopped.Shewasthoroughlyashamedofherself.

"I'mafool!"

"No,no!"

"Yes,Iam.Idon'toftenactthisway,but,oh,gee!hearingyoualltalkinglikethataboutgoingtoAmerica,justasifitwastheeasiestthingintheworld,onlyyoucouldn'tbebotheredtodoit,kindofgotmegoing.AndtothinkIcouldbethererightnowifIwasn'tabonehead!"

"Abonehead?"

"Asimp.I'mallrightasfarupasthestringofnear-pearls,butabovethatI'mreinforcedconcrete."

Freddiegropedforhermeaning.

"Doyoumeanyou'vemadeabloomerofsomekind?"

"Ipulledtheworstkindofbone.IstoppedoninLondonwhentherest

ofthecompanywentbackhome,andnowI'vegottostick."

"Rushofjollyoldprofessionalengagements,what?"

Nellylaughedbitterly.

"You'reabadguesser.No,theyhaven'tstartedtofightovermeyet.I'matliberty,astheysayinthe_Era_."

"But,mydearoldthing,"saidFreddieearnestly,"ifyou'venothingtokeepyouinEngland,whynotpopbacktoAmerica?Imeantosay,home-sicknessisthemostdashedblightedthingintheworld.There'snothinggivesonethepiptosuchanextent.Why,dashit,Iremember

stayingwithanoldauntofmineupinScotlandtheyearbeforelastandnotbeingabletogetawayforthreeweeksorso,andIraved--absolutelygibbered--forthesightofthemerryoldmetrop.SometimesI'dwakeupinthenight,thinkingIwasbackattheAlbany,and,byJove,whenIfoundIwasn'tIhowledlikeadog!Youtakemytip,oldsoul,andpopbackonthenextboat."

"Whichline?"

"Howdoyoumean,whichline?Oh,Isee,youmeanwhichline?Well...well...I'veneverbeenonanyofthem,soit'sratherhardtosay.ButIheartheCunardwellspokenof,andthenagainsomechappiesswearbytheWhiteStar.ButIshouldimagineyoucan'tgofarwrong,

whicheveryoupick.They'reallprettyripe,Ifancy."

"Whichofthemisgivingfreetrips?That'sthepoint."

"Eh?Oh!"HermeaningdawneduponFreddie.Heregardedherwithdeepconsternation.Lifehadtreatedhimsokindlythathehadalmostforgottenthatthereexistedaclasswhichhadnotasmuchmoneyashimself.Sympathywelledupbeneathhisperfectlyfittingwaistcoat.Itwasapurelydisinterestedsympathy.ThefactthatNellywasagirlandinmanyrespectsadashedprettygirldidnotaffecthim.What



matteredwasthatshewashardup.ThethoughthurtFreddielikeablow.Hehatedtheideaofanyonebeinghardup.

"Isay!"hesaid."Areyoubroke?"

Nellylaughed.

"AmI?Ifdollarsweredoughnuts,Iwouldn'tevenhavetheholeinthemiddle."

Freddiewasstirredtohisdepths.Exceptforthebeggarsinthestreets,towhomhegaveshillings,hehadnotmetanyoneforyearswhohadnotplentyofmoney.Hehadfriendsathisclubswhofrequentlyclaimedtobeunabletolaytheirhandsonaballypenny,buttheballypennytheywantedtolaytheirhandsongenerallyturnedouttobeacoupleofthousandpoundsforanewcar.

"GoodGod!"hesaid.

Therewasapause.Then,withasuddenimpulse,hebegantofumbleinhisbreast-pocket.Rummyhowthingsworkedoutforthebest,howeverscalytheymightseematthemoment.Onlyanhourorsoagohehadbeenkickinghimselffornothavingrememberedthatfifty-poundnote,tackedontotheliningofhiscoat,whenitwouldhavecomeinhandy

atthepolice-station.HenowsawthatProvidencehadhadthematterwellinhand.Ifhehadremembereditandcoughedituptotheconstabularythen,hewouldn'thavehaditnow.Andheneededitnow.Amoodofquixoticgenerosityhadsurgeduponhim.Withswiftfingershejerkedthenotefreefromitsmooringsanddisplayeditlikeaconjurerexhibitingarabbit.

"Mydearoldthing,"hesaid,"Ican'tstandit!Iabsolutelycannotstickitatanyprice!Ireallymustinsistonyourtrouseringthis.Positively!"

NellyBryantgazedatthenotewithwideeyes.Shewasstunned.Shetookitlimply,andlookedatitunderthedimlightofthegas-lamp

overthedoor.

"Icouldn't!"shecried.

"Oh,butreally!Youmust!"

"Butthisisafifty-pound!"

"Absolutely!ItwilltakeyoubacktoNewYork,what?youaskedwhichlinewasgivingfreetrips.TheFreddieRookeLine,byJove,sailingseveryWednesdayandSaturday!Imean,what?"

"ButIcan'ttaketwohundredandfiftydollarsfromyou!"

"Oh,rather.Ofcourseyoucan."

Therewasanotherpause.

"You'llthink--"Nelly'spalefaceflushed."You'llthinkItoldyouallaboutmyselfjust--justbecauseIwantedto...."

"Tomakeatouch?Absolutelynot!Ridyourselfofthejollyoldsuppositionentirely.Youseebeforeyou,oldthing,achappiewho



knowsmoreaboutborrowingmoneythananymaninLondon.Imeantosay,I'vehadmyearbittenmoreoftenthananyone,Ishouldthink.Therearesixty-fourwaysofmakingatouch--I'vehadthemallworkedonmebydiversblightershereandthere--andIcantellanyofthemwithmyeyesshut.Iknowyouweren'tdreamingofanysuchthing."

ThenotecrackledmusicallyinNelly'shand.

"Idon'tknowwhattosay!"

"That'sallright."

"Idon'tseewhy....Gee!IwishIcouldtellyouwhatIthinkofyou!"

Freddielaughedamusedly.

"Doyouknow,"hesaid,"that'sexactlywhatthebeaks--themasters,youknow--usedtosaytomeatschool."

"Areyousureyoucanspareit?"

"Oh,rather."

Nelly'seyesshoneinthelightofthelamp.

"I'venevermetanyonelikeyoubefore.Idon'tknowhow...."

Freddieshufflednervously.Beingthankedalwaysmadehimfeelprettyrotten.

"Well,IthinkI'llbepopping,"hesaid."Gottogetbackanddressandallthat.Awfullygladtohaveseenyou,andallthatsortofrot."

Nellyunlockedthedoorwithherlatch-key,andstoodonthestep.

"I'llbuyafur-wrap,"shesaid,halftoherself.

"Greatwheeze!Ishould!"

"AndsomenutsforBill!"

"Bill?"

"Theparrot."

"Oh,thejollyoldparrot!Rather!Well,cheerio!"

"Good-bye....You'vebeenawfullygoodtome."

"Oh,no,"saidFreddieuncomfortably."Anytimeyou'repassing...."

"Awfullygood....Well,good-bye."

"Toodle-oo!"

"Maybewe'llmeetagainsomeday."

"Ihopeso.Absolutely!"



Therewasalittlescurryoffeet.SomethingwarmandsoftpressedforaninstantagainstFreddie'scheek,and,ashestumbledback,NellyBryantskippedupthestepsandvanishedthroughthedoor.

"GoodGod!"

Freddiefelthischeek.Hewasawareofanoddmixtureofembarrassmentandexhilaration.

Fromtheareabelowaslightcoughsounded.Freddieturnedsharply.Amaidinasoiledcap,worncoquettishlyoveroneear,wasgazingintentlyupthroughtherailings.Theireyesmet.Freddieturnedawarmpink.Itseemedtohimthatthemaidhadtheairofoneabouttogiggle.

"Damn!"saidFreddiesoftly,andhurriedoffdownthestreet.Hewonderedwhetherhehadmadeafrightfulassofhimself,sprayingbank-notesallovertheplacelikethattocomparativestrangers.ThenavisioncametohimofNelly'seyesastheyhadlookedathiminthelamp-light,andhedecided--no,absolutelynot.Rummyasthegadgetmightappear,ithadbeentherightthingtodo.Itwasabingeofwhichhethoroughlyapproved.Agoodegg!

II

Jill,whenFreddieandNellylefttheroom,hadseatedherselfonalowstool,andsatlookingthoughtfullyintothefire.ShewaswonderingifshehadbeenmistakeninsupposingthatUncleChriswasworriedaboutsomething.Thisrestlessnessofhis,thisdesireformovement,wasstrangeinhim.Hithertohehadbeenlikeadearoldcosycat,revellinginthecomfortwhichhehadjustdenouncedsoeloquently.Shewatchedhimashetookuphisfavouritestandinfrontofthefire.

"Nicegirl,"saidUncleChris."Whowasshe?"

"SomebodyFreddiemet,"saidJilldiplomatically.TherewasnoneedtoworryUncleChriswithdetailsoftheafternoon'shappenings.

"Verynicegirl."UncleChristookouthiscigar-case."NoneedtoaskifImay,thankgoodness."Helitacigar."Doyouremember,Jill,yearsago,whenyouwerequitesmall,howIusedtoblowsmokeinyourface?"

Jillsmiled.

"OfcourseIdo.Yousaidthatyouweretrainingmeformarriage.Yousaidthattherewerenohappymarriagesexceptwherethewifedidn't

mindthesmelloftobacco.Well,it'slucky,asamatteroffact,forDereksmokesallthetime."

UncleChristookuphisfavouritestandagainstthefireplace.

"You'reveryfondofDerek,aren'tyou,Jill?"

"OfcourseIam.Youare,too,aren'tyou?"

"Finechap.Veryfinechap.Plentyofmoney,too.It'sagreat



relief,"saidUncleChris,puffingvigorously."Athunderingrelief."HelookedoverJill'sheaddowntheroom."It'sfinetothinkofyouhappilymarried,dear,witheverythingintheworldthatyouwant."

UncleChris'gazewandereddowntowhereJillsat.Aslightmistaffectedhiseyesight.Jillhadprovidedasolutionforthegreatproblemofhislife.Marriagehadalwaysappalledhim,buttherewasthistobesaidforit,thatmarriedpeoplehaddaughters.Hehadalwayswantedadaughter,asmartgirlhecouldtakeoutandbeproudof;andfatehadgivenhimJillatpreciselytherightage.AchildwouldhaveboredUncleChris--hewasfondofchildren,buttheymadethedeuceofanoiseandregardedjamasanexternalornament--butadelightfullittlegirloffourteenwasdifferent.Jillandhehadbeenveryclosetoeachothersincehermotherhaddied,ayearafterthedeathofherfather,andhadleftherinhischarge.Hehadwatchedhergrowupwithajoythathadatouchofbewildermentinit--sheseemedtogrowsoquickly--andhadbeenfonderandprouderofherateverystageofhertumultuouscareer.

"You'readear,"saidJill.Shestrokedthetrouser-legthatwasnearest."How_do_youmanagetogetsuchawonderfulcrease?Youreallyareacredittome!"

Therewasamomentarysilence.Ashadeofembarrassmentmadeitself

noticeableinUncleChris'frankgaze.Hegavealittlecough,andpulledathismoustache.

"IwishIwere,mydear,"hesaidsoberly."IwishIwere.I'mafraidI'mapoorsortofafellow,Jill."

Jilllookedup.

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Apoorsortofafellow,"repeatedUncleChris."Yourmotherwasfoolishtotrustyoutome.Yourfatherhadmoresense.HealwayssaidIwasawrong'un."

Jillgotupquickly.Shewascertainnowthatshehadbeenright,andthattherewassomethingonheruncle'smind.

"What'sthematter,UncleChris?Something'shappened.Whatisit?"

UncleChristurnedtoknocktheashoffhiscigar.Themovementgavehimtimetocollecthimselfforwhatlaybeforehim.Hehadoneofthoserarevolatilenatureswhichcanignoretheblowsoffatesolongastheireffectsarenotbroughthomebyvisibleevidenceofdisaster.Helivedinthemoment,and,thoughmattershadbeenasbadatbreakfast-timeastheywerenow,itwasnottillnow,whenheconfrontedJill,thathehadfoundhischeerfulnessaffectedbythem.

Hewasamanwhohatedordeals,andonefacedhimnow.Untilthismomenthehadbeenabletodetachhismindfromastateofaffairswhichwouldhaveweighedunceasinglyuponanotherman.Hismindwasatelephonewhichhecouldcutoffatwill,whenthevoiceofTroublewishedtospeak.Thetimewouldarrive,hehadbeenaware,whenhewouldhavetopayattentiontothatvoice,butsofarhehadrefusedtolisten.Nowitcouldbeevadednolonger.

"Jill."



"Yes?"

UncleChrispausedagain,searchingforthebestmeansofsayingwhathadtobesaid.

"Jill,Idon'tknowifyouunderstandaboutthesethings,buttherewaswhatiscalledaslumpontheStockExchangethismorning.Inotherwords...."

Jilllaughed.

"OfcourseIknowallaboutthat,"shesaid."PoorFreddiewouldn'ttalkaboutanythingelsetillImadehim.Hewasterriblybluewhenhegotherethisafternoon.Hesaidhehadgot'nipped'inAmalgamatedDyes.Hehadlostabouttwohundredpounds,andwasfuriouswithafriendofhiswhohadtoldhimtobuymargins."

UncleChrisclearedhisthroat.

"Jill,I'mafraidI'vegotbadnewsforyou.IboughtAmalgamatedDyes,too."Heworriedhismoustache."Ilostheavily,veryheavily."

"Hownaughtyofyou!Youknowyououghtn'ttogamble."

"Jill,youmustbebrave.I--I--well,thefactis--it'snogoodbeatingaboutthebush--Ilosteverything!Everything!"

"Everything?"

"Everything!It'sallgone!Allfooledaway.It'saterriblebusiness.Thishousewillhavetogo."

"But--butdoesn'tthehousebelongtome?"

"Iwasyourtrustee,dear."UncleChrissmokedfuriously."Thankheavenyou'regoingtomarryarichman!"

Jillstoodlookingathim,perplexed.Money,asmoney,hadneverenteredintoherlife.Therewerethingsonewantedwhichhadtobepaidforwithmoney,butUncleChrishadalwayslookedafterthat.Shehadtakenthemforgranted.

"Idon'tunderstand,"shesaid.

Andthensuddenlysherealizedthatshedid,andagreatwaveofpityforUncleChrisfloodedoverher.Hewassuchanolddear.Itmustbehorribleforhimtohavetostandthere,tellingherallthis.Shefeltnosenseofinjury,onlythediscomfortofhavingtowitnessthehumiliationofheroldestfriend.UncleChriswasboundupinextricablywitheverythinginherlifethatwaspleasant.Shecould

rememberhim,lookingexactlythesame,onlywithathickerandwaviercropofhair,playingwithherpatientlyandunweariedforhoursinthehotsun,acheerfulmartyr.Shecouldremembersittingupwithhimwhenshecamehomefromherfirstgrownupdance,drinkingcocoaandtalkingandtalkingandtalkingtillthebirdsoutsidesangthesunhighupintotheskyanditwasbreakfasttime.Shecouldremembertheatreswithhim,andjollylittlesuppersafterwards;expeditionsintothecountry,withlunchesatqueeroldinns;daysontheriver,daysatHurlingham,daysatLords',daysattheAcademy.Hehadalwaysbeenthesame,alwayscheerful,alwayskind.HewasUncleChris,and



hewouldalwaysbeUncleChris,whateverhehaddoneorwhateverhemightdo.Sheslippedherarminhisandgaveitasqueeze.

"Pooroldthing!"shesaid.

UncleChrishadbeenlookingstraightoutbeforehimwiththosefineblueeyesofhis.Therehadbeenjustatouchofsternnessinhisattitude.Astranger,comingintotheroomatthatmoment,wouldhavesaidthatherewasagirltryingtocoaxherblunt,straightforward,militaryfatherintosomecourseofactionofwhichhishonestnaturedisapproved.HemighthavebeenposingforastatueofRectitude.AsJillspoke,heseemedtocavein.

"Pooroldthing?"herepeatedlimply.

"Ofcourseyouare!Andstoptryingtolookdignifiedandtragic!Becauseitdoesn'tsuityou.You'remuchtoowelldressed."

"But,mydear,youdon'tunderstand!Youhaven'trealized!"

"Yes,Ido.Yes,Ihave!"

"I'vespentallyourmoney--_your_money!"

"Iknow!Whatdoesitmatter?"

"Whatdoesitmatter!Jill,don'tyouhateme?"

"Asifanyonecouldhateanolddarlinglikeyou!"

UncleChristhrewawayhiscigar,andputhisarmsroundJill.Foramomentadreadfulfearcametoherthathewasgoingtocry.Sheprayedthathewouldn'tcry.Itwouldbetooawful.Itwouldbeamemoryofwhichshecouldneverridherself.Shefeltasthoughheweresomeoneextraordinarilyyoungandunabletolookafterhimself,someoneshemustsootheandprotect.

"Jill,"saidUncleChris,choking,"you're--you're--you'realittlewarrior!"

Jillkissedhimandmovedaway.Shebusiedherselfwithsomeflowers,herbackturned.Thetensionhadbeenrelieved,andshewantedtogivehimtimetorecoverhispoise.Sheknewhimwellenoughtobesurethat,soonerorlater,theresiliencyofhisnaturewouldassertitself.Hecouldneverremainlonginthedepths.

Thesilencehadtheeffectofmakingherthinkmoreclearlythaninthefirstrushofpityshehadbeenabletodo.Shewasablenowtoreviewthematterasitaffectedherself.Ithadnotbeeneasytograsp,thebluntfactthatshewaspenniless,thatallthiscomfort

whichsurroundedherwasnolongerherown.Foraninstantakindofpanicseizedher.Therewasableaknessaboutthesituationwhichmadeonegasp.Itwaslikeicywaterdashedintheface.Realizationhadalmostthephysicalpainoflifereturningtoanumbedlimb.Herhandsshookasshearrangedtheflowers,andshehadtobiteherliptokeepherselffromcryingout.

Shefoughtpaniceyetoeye,andbeatitdown.UncleChris,swiftlyrecoveringbythefireplace,neverknewthatthefighthadtakenplace.Hewasfeelingquitejovialagainnowthattheunpleasant



businessofbreakingthenewswasover,andwaslookingontheworldwiththeeyeofadebonairgentleman-adventurer.Asfarashewasconcerned,hetoldhimself,thiswasthebestthingthatcouldhavehappened.Hehadbeengrowingoldandsluggishinprosperity.Heneededafillip.Thewitsbywhichhehadoncelivedsomerrilyhadbeengettingbluntintheireasyretirement.Hewelcomedtheopportunityofmatchingthemoncemoreagainsttheworld.HewasremorsefulasregardedJill,buttheoptimistinhim,nevercrushedforlong,toldhimthatJillwouldbeallright.ShewouldstepfromthesinkingshiptothesaferefugeofDerekUnderhill'swealthandposition,whilehewentouttoseekanewlife.UncleChris'blueeyesgleamedwithanewfireashepicturedhimselfinthisnewlife.Hefeltlikeahuntersettingoutonahuntingexpedition.Therewerealwaysadventuresandthespoilsofwarforthemanwithbrainstofindthemandgatherthemin.ButitwasamercythatJillhadDerek....

JillwasthinkingofDerek,too.Panichadfled,andacuriousexhilarationhadseizeduponher.IfDerekwantedhernow,itwouldbebecausehislovewasthestrongestthingintheworld.Shewouldcometohimlikethebeggar-maidtoCophetua.

UncleChrisbrokethesilencewithacough.Atthesoundofit,Jillsmiledagain.Sheknewitforwhatitwas,asignthathewashimself

again.

"Tellme,UncleChris,"shesaid,"justhowbadisit?Whenyousaideverythingwasgone,didyoureallymeaneverything,orwereyoubeingmelodramatic?Exactlyhowdowestand?"

"It'sdashedhardtosay,mydear.Iexpectweshallfindthereareafewhundredsleft.Enoughtoseeyouthroughtillyougetmarried.Afterthatitwon'tmatter."UncleChrisflickedaparticleofdustoffhiscoat-sleeve.Jillcouldnothelpfeelingthattheactionwassymbolicalofhisattitudetowardslife.Henickedawaylife'sproblemswithjustthesameairycarelessness."Youmustn'tworryaboutme,mydear.Ishallbeallright.Ihavemademywayinthe

worldbefore,andIcandoitagain.IshallgotoAmericaandtrymyluckthere.AmazinghowmanyopportunitiesthereareinAmerica.Really,asfarasIamconcerned,thisisthebestthingthatcouldhavehappened.Ihavebeengettingabominablylazy.IfIhadgoneonlivingmypresentlifeforanotheryearortwo,why,dashit,IhonestlybelieveIshouldhavesuccumbedtosomesortofseniledecay.PositivelyIshouldhavegotfattydegenerationofthebrain!Thiswillbethemakingofme."

Jillsatdownontheloungeandlaughedtillthereweretearsinhereyes.UncleChrismightberesponsibleforthisdisaster,buthewascertainlymakingitendurable.Howevergreatlyhemightbedeservingofcensure,fromthestandpointofthesternermorality,hemade

amends.Ifhebroughtthewholeworldcrashinginchaosaboutone'sears,atleasthehelpedonetosmileamongtheruins.

"Didyoueverread'Candide,'UncleChris?"

"'Candide'?"UncleChrisshookhishead.Hewasnotagreatreader,exceptofthesportingpress.

"It'sabookbyVoltaire.There'sacharacterinitcalledDoctorPangloss,whothoughtthateverythingwasforthebestinthisbestof



allpossibleworlds."

UncleChrisfeltatouchofembarrassment.Itoccurredtohimthathehadbeenbetrayedbyhismercurialtemperamentintoanattitudewhich,consideringthecircumstances,wasperhapsatrifletoojubilant.Hegavehismoustacheapull,andrevertedtotheminorkey.

"Oh,youmustn'tthinkthatIdon'tappreciatetheterrible,thecriminalthingIhavedone!Iblamemyself,"saidUncleChriscordially,nickinganotherspeckofdustoffhissleeve."Iblamemyselfbitterly.Yourmotheroughtnevertohavemademeyourtrustee,mydear.Butshealwaysbelievedinme,inspiteofeverything,andthisishowIhaverepaidher."Heblewhisnosetocoveranotunmanlyemotion."Iwasn'tfittedfortheposition.Neverbecomeatrustee,Jill.It'sthedevil,istrustmoney.Howevermuchyouarguewithyourself,youcan't--dashit,yousimplycan'tbelievethatit'snotyourown,todoasyoulikewith,Thereitsits,smilingatyou,crying'Spendme!Spendme!'andyoufindyourselfdipping--dipping--tillonedaythere'snothinglefttodipfor--onlyafar-offrustling--theghostsofdeadbank-notes.That'showitwaswithme.Theprocesswasalmostautomatic.Ihardlyknewitwasgoingon.Herealittle--therealittle.Itwaslikesnowmeltingonamountain-top.Andonemorning--allgone!"UncleChrisdrovethepointhomewithagesture."IdidwhatIcould.WhenIfoundthattherewereonlyafewhundredsleft,foryoursakeItookachance.Allheartandnohead!

ThereyouhaveChristopherSelbyinanutshell!Amanattheclub,afoolnamed--I'veforgottenhisdamnname--recommendedAmalgamatedDyestuffsasaspeculation.Monroe,thatwashisname,JimmyMonroe.HetalkedaboutthefutureofBritishDyesnowthatGermanywasoutoftherace,and...well,thelongandshortofitwasthatItookhisadviceandboughtonmargin.Boughtlikethedevil.AndthismorningAmalgamatedDyestuffswentalltoblazes.Thereyouhavethewholestory!"

"Andnow,"saidJill,"comesthesequel!"

"Thesequel?"saidUncleChrisbreezily."Happiness,mydear,happiness!Weddingbellsand--andallthatsortofthing!"Hestraddledthehearth-rugmanfully,andswelledhischestout.Hewould

permitnopessimismonthisoccasionofrejoicing."Youdon'tsupposethatthefactofyourhavinglostyourmoney--thatistosay--er--of _my_havinglostyourmoney--willaffectasplendidyoungfellowlikeDerekUnderhill?Iknowhimbetterthantothinkthat!I'vealwayslikedhim.He'samanyoucantrust!Besides,"headdedreflectively,"there'snoneedtotellhim!Tillafterthewedding,Imean.Itwon'tbehardtokeepupappearanceshereforamonthorso."

"Ofcoursewemusttellhim!"

"Youthinkitwise?"

"Idon'tknowaboutitbeingwise.It'stheonlythingtodo.Imust

seehimto-night.Oh,Iforgot.Hewasgoingawaythisafternoonforadayortwo."

"Capital!Itwillgiveyoutimetothinkitover."

"Idon'twanttothinkitover.There'snothingtothinkabout."

"Ofcourse,yes,ofcourse.Quiteso."

"Ishallwritehimaletter."



"Write,eh?"

"It'seasiertoputwhatonewantstosayinaletter."

"Letters,"beganUncleChris,andstoppedasthedooropened.Jane,theparlourmaid,entered,carryingasalver.

"Forme?"askedUncleChris.

"ForMissJill,sir."

Jilltookthenoteoffthesalver.

"It'sfromDerek."

"There'samessenger-boywaiting,miss,"saidJane."Hewasn'ttoldiftherewasananswer."

"IfthenoteisfromDerek,"saidUncleChris,"it'snotlikelytowantananswer.Yousaidhelefttownto-day."

Jillopenedtheenvelope.

"Isthereananswer,miss?"askedJane,afterwhatsheconsideredasuitableinterval.Shespoketenderly.ShewasagreatadmirerofDerek,andconsidereditaprettyactiononhisparttosendnoteslikethiswhenhewascompelledtoleaveLondon.

"Anyanswer,Jill?"

Jillseemedtorouseherself.Shehadturnedoddlypale.

"No,noanswer,Jane."

"Thankyou,miss,"saidJane,andwentofftotellthecookthatinheropinionJillwaslackinginheart."Itmighthavebeenabill

insteadofalove-letter,"saidJanetothecookwithindignation,"thewayshereadit.Ilikepeopletohavealittlefeeling!"

Jillsatturningtheletteroverandoverinherfingers.Herfacewasverywhite.Thereseemedtobeabig,heavy,leadensomethinginsideher.Acoldhandclutchedherthroat.UncleChris,whoatfirsthadnoticednothinguntoward,nowbegantofindthesilencesinister.

"Nobadnews,Ihope,dear?"

Jillturnedtheletterbetweenherfingers.

"Jill,isitbadnews?"

"Derekhasbrokenofftheengagement,"saidJillinadullvoice.Sheletthenotefalltothefloor,andsatwithherchininherhands.

"What!"UncleChrisleapedfromthehearth-rug,asthoughthefirehadsuddenlyscorchedhim."Whatdidyousay?"

"He'sbrokenitoff."

"Thehound!"criedUncleChris."Theblackguard!The--the--Inever



likedthatman!Inevertrustedhim!"Hefumedforamoment."But--but--itisn'tpossible.Howcanhehaveheardaboutwhat'shappened?Hecouldn'tknow.It's--it's--itisn'tpossible!"

"Hedoesn'tknow.Ithasnothingtodowiththat."

"But...."UncleChrisstoopedtowherethenotelay."MayI...?"

"Yes,youcanreaditifyoulike."

UncleChrisproducedapairofreading-glasses,andglaredthroughthematthesheetofpaperasthoughitweresomeloathsomeinsect.

"Thehound!Thecad!IfIwereayoungerman,"shoutedUncleChris,smitingtheletterviolently,"ifIwere....Jill!MydearlittleJill!"

Heplungeddownonhiskneesbesideher,assheburiedherfaceinherhandsandbegantosob.

"Mylittlegirl!Damnthatman!Mydearlittlegirl!Thecad!Thedevil!Myowndarlinglittlegirl!I'llthrashhimwithinaninchofhislife!"

Theclockonthemantelpiecetickedawaytheminutes.Jillgotup.Herfacewaswetandquivering,buthermouthhadsetinabraveline.

"Jill,dear!"

Shelethishandcloseoverhers.

"Everything'shappeningallatoncethisafternoon,UncleChris,isn'tit!"Shesmiledatwistedsmile."Youlooksofunny!Yourhair'sallrumpled,andyourglassesareoverononeside!"

UncleChrisbreathedheavilythroughhisnose.

"WhenImeetthatman...."hebeganportentously.

"Oh,what'sthegoodofbothering!It'snotworthit!Nothing'sworthit!"Jillstoppedandfacedhim,herhandsclenched."Let'sgetaway!Let'sgetrightaway!Iwanttogetrightaway,UncleChris!Takemeaway!Anywhere!TakemetoAmericawithyou!Imustgetaway!"

UncleChrisraisedhisrighthand,andshookit.Hisreading-glasses,hangingfromhisleftear,bobbeddrunkenly.

"We'llsailbythenextboat!Theverynextboat,dammit!I'lltakecareofyou,dear.I'vebeenablackguardtoyou,mylittlegirl.I'verobbedyou,andswindledyou.ButI'llmakeupforit,byGeorge!I'll

makeupforit!I'llgiveyouanewhome,asgoodasthis,ifIdieforit.There'snothingIwon'tdo!Nothing!ByJove!"shoutedUncleChris,raisinghisvoiceinared-hotfrenzyofemotion,"I'llwork!Yes,byGad,ifitcomesrightdowntoit,I'llwork!"

HebroughthisfistdownwithacrashonthetablewhereDerek'sflowersstoodintheirbowl.Thebowlleapedintheairandtumbledover,scatteringtheflowersonthefloor.



CHAPTERVII

JILLCATCHESTHE10.10

I

Inthelivesofeachoneofus,aswelookbackandreviewtheminretrospect,therearecertaindesertwastesfromwhichmemorywinceslikesometiredtravellerfacedwithadrearystretchofroad.Evenfromthesecurityoflaterhappinesswecannotcontemplatethemwithoutashudder.

IttookoneofthemostcompetentfirmsinthemetropolisfourdaystoproducesomesortoforderintheconfusionresultingfromMajorSelby'sfinancialoperations;andduringthosedaysJillexistedinastateofbeingwhichcouldbedefinedaslivingonlyinthatshebreathedandateandcomportedherselfoutwardlylikeagirlandnotaghost.

BoardsannouncingthatthehousewasforsaleappearedagainsttherailingsthroughwhichJanetheparlourmaidconductedherdaily

conversationswiththetradesmen.Strangersroamedtheroomseyeingandappraisingthefurniture.UncleChris,onwhomdisasterhadhadaquickeningandvivifyingeffect,waseverywhereatonce,animpressivefigureofenergy.OnemaybewrongingUncleChris,buttotheeyeofthecasualobserverheseemedinthesedaysoftrialtobehavingthetimeofhislife.

Jillvariedthemonotonyofsittinginherroom--whichwastheonlyplaceinthehousewhereonemightbesureofnotencounteringafurniture-broker'smanwithanote-bookandpencil--bytakinglongwalks.SheavoidedasfaraspossiblethesmallareawhichhadoncemadeupthewholeofLondonforher,butevensoshewasnotalwayssuccessfulinescapingfromoldacquaintances.Once,buttingthrough

LennoxGardensonherwaytothatvast,desolateKing'sRoadwhichstretchesitslengthoutintoregionsunknowntothosewhoseLondonistheWestEnd,shehappeneduponFreddieRooke,whohadbeenpayingacallinhisbest,andapairofwhitespatswhichwouldhavecuthisfriendHenrytothequick.Itwasnotanenjoyablemeeting.Freddie,keenlyalivetotheawkwardnessofthesituation,wasscarletandincoherent;andJill,whodesirednothinglessthantotalkwithonesointimatelyconnectedinhermindwithallthatshehadlost,wasscarcelymorecollected.Theypartedwithoutregret.TheonlysatisfactionthatcametoJillfromtheencounterwastheknowledgethatDerekwasstilloutoftown.Hehadwiredforhisthings,saidFreddie,andhadretreatedfurthernorth.Freddie,itseemed,hadbeeninformedofthebrokenengagementbyLadyUnderhillinaninterview

whichappearedtohaveleftalastingimpressiononhismind.OfJill'smonetarydifficultieshehadheardnothing.

Afterthismeeting,Jillfeltaslightdiminutionoftheoppressionwhichweigheduponher.ShecouldnothavebornetohavecomeunexpectedlyuponDerek,and,nowthattherewasnodangerofthat,shefoundlifealittleeasier.Thedayspassedsomehow,andfinallytherecamethemorning,when,accompaniedbyUncleChris--volubleandexplanatoryaboutthedetailsofwhathecalled"gettingeverythingsettled"--sherodeinataxitotakethetrainforSouthampton.Her



lastimpressionofLondonwasofrowsuponrowsofmeanhouses,ofcatswanderinginback-yardsamonggrovesofhome-washedunderclothing,andasmokygreynesswhichgaveway,asthetrainracedon,totheclearergreyofthesuburbsandthegoodgreenandbrownoftheopencountry.

Thenthebustleandconfusionoftheliner;thecalmmonotonyofthejourney,whenonecameondeckeachmorningtofindthevesselsomanifestlyinthesamespotwhereithadbeenthemorningbeforethatitwasimpossibletorealizethatmanyhundredmilesofoceanhadreallybeenplacedbehindone;andfinallytheAmbroseChannellightshipandthegreatbulkofNewYorkrisingintotheskylikeacityoffairyland,hearteningyetsinister,atonceawelcomeandamenace.

"Thereyouare,mydear?"saidUncleChrisindulgently,asthoughitwereatoyhehadmadeforherwithhisownhands."NewYork!"

Theywerestandingontheboat-deck,leaningovertherail.Jillcaughtherbreath.Forthefirsttimesincedisasterhadcomeuponhershewasconsciousofarisingofherspirits.ItisimpossibletobeholdthehugebuildingswhichfringetheharbourofNewYorkwithoutasenseofexpectancyandexcitement.TherehadremainedinJill'smindfromchildhoodmemoriesavaguepictureofwhatshenowsaw,but

ithadbeenfeebleandinadequate.Thesightofthistoweringcityseemedsomehowtoblotouteverythingthathadgonebefore.Thefeelingofstartingafreshwasstronguponher.

UncleChris,theoldtraveller,wasnotemotionallyaffected.Hesmokedplacidlyandtalkedinawhollyearthystrainofgrape-fruitandbuckwheatcakes.

Itwasnow,alsoforthefirsttime,thatUncleChristoucheduponfutureprospectsinapracticalmanner.Onthevoyagehehadbeeneloquentbutsketchy.Withthelandofpromisewithinbiscuit-throwandthetugsbustlingaboutthegreatliner'sskirtslikelittledogsabouttheirmistress,hedescendedtodetails.

"Ishallgetaroomsomewhere,"saidUncleChris,"andstartlookingaboutme.IwonderiftheoldHollandHouseisstillthere.IfancyIheardthey'dpulleditdown.Capitalplace.Ihadasteakthereintheyear....ButIexpectthey'vepulleditdown.ButIshallfindsomewheretogo.I'llwriteandtellyoumyaddressdirectlyI'vegotone."

Jillremovedhergazefromthesky-linewithastart.

"Writetome?"

"Didn'tItellyouaboutthat?"saidUncleChrischeerily--avoiding

hereye,however,forhehadrealizedallalongthatitmightbealittlebitawkwardbreakingthenews."I'vearrangedthatyoushallgoandstayforthetimebeingdownatBrookport--onLongIsland,youknow--overinthatdirection--withyourUncleElmer.Daresayyou'veforgottenyouhaveanUncleElmer,eh?"hewentonquickly,asJillwasabouttospeak."Yourfather'sbrother.Usedtobeinbusiness,butretiredsomeyearsagoandgoesinforamateurfarming.Cornand--andcorn,"saidUncleChris."Allthatsortofthing.You'lllikehim.Capitalchap!Nevermethimmyself,butalwaysheard,"saidUncleChris,whohadnevertohisrecollectionheardanycommentsuponMr.



ElmerMarinerwhatever,"thathewasasplendidfellow.Directlywedecidedtosail,Icabledtohim,andgotananswersayingthathewouldbedelightedtoputyouup.You'llbequitehappythere."

Jilllistenedtothisprogrammewithdismay.NewYorkwascallingtoher,andBrookportheldoutnoattractionsatall.Shelookeddownoverthesideatthetugspuffingtheirwaythroughthebrokenblocksoficethatremindedherofacocoanutcandyfamiliartoherchildhood.

"ButIwanttobewithyou,"sheprotested.

"Impossible,mydear,forthepresent.Ishallbeverybusy,verybusyindeedforsomeweeks,untilIhavefoundmyfeet.Really,youwouldbeintheway.He--er--travelsthefastestwhotravelsalone!Imustbeinapositiontogoanywhereanddoanythingatamoment'snotice.Butalwaysremember,mydear,"saidUncleChris,pattinghershoulderaffectionately,"thatIshallbeworkingforyou.Ihavetreatedyouverybadly,butIintendtomakeupforit.IshallnotforgetthatwhatevermoneyImaymakewillreallybelongtoyou."Helookedatherbenignly,likeamonarchoffinancewhohasearmarkedamillionortwoforthebenefitofadeservingcharity."Youshallhaveitall,Jill."

Hehadsomuchtheairofhavingconferredasubstantialbenefitupon

herthatJillfeltobligedtothankhim.UncleChrishadalwaysbeenabletomakepeoplegratefulforthephantomgoldwhichheshowereduponthem.Hewasaslavishamanwiththemoneyhewasgoingtogetnextweekaseverborrowedafive-poundnotetoseehimthroughtillSaturday.

"Whatareyougoingtodo,UncleChris?"askedJillcuriously.Apartfromanebulousideathatheintendedtosaunterthroughthecitypickingdollar-billsoffthesidewalk,shehadnoinklingofhisplans.

UncleChristoyedwithhisshortmoustache.Hewasnotquiteequaltoadirectansweronthespurofthemoment.Hehadafaithinhisstar.

Somethingwouldturnup.Somethingalwayshadturnedupintheolddays,anddoubtless,withthemarchofcivilization,opportunitieshadmultiplied.SomewherebehindthosetallbuildingstheGoddessofLuckawaitedhim,herhandsfullofgifts,butpreciselywhatthosegiftswouldbehewasnotinapositiontosay.

"Ishall--ah--howshallIputit--?"

"Lookround?"suggestedJill.

"Precisely,"saidUncleChrisgratefully."Lookround.IdaresayyouhavenoticedthatIhavegoneoutofmywayduringthevoyagetomakemyselfagreeabletoourfellow-travellers?Ihadanobject.

Acquaintancesbegunonshipboardwilloftenripenintousefulfriendshipsashore.WhenIwasayoungmanIneverneglectedtheopportunitieswhichanoceanvoyageaffords.Theofferofabookhere,asteamer-rugthere,awordofencouragementtoachattyboreinthesmoke-room--thesearesmallthings,buttheymayleadtomuch.Onemeetsinfluentialpeopleonaliner.Youwouldn'tthinkittolookathim,butthatmanwiththeeye-glassesandthethinnoseIwastalkingtojustnowisoneoftherichestmeninMilwaukee!"

"Butit'snotmuchgoodhavingrichfriendsinMilwaukeewhenyouare



inNewYork!"

"Exactly.ThereyouhaveputyourfingerontheverypointIhavebeentryingtomake.Itwillprobablybenecessaryformetotravel.AndforthatImustbealone.Imustbeamobileforce.Ishoulddearlyliketokeepyouwithme,butyoucanseeforyourselfthatforthemomentyouwouldbeanencumbrance.Lateron,nodoubt,whenmyaffairsaremoresettled...."

"Oh,Iunderstand.I'mresigned.But,ohdear!it'sgoingtobeverydulldownatBrookport."

"Nonsense,nonsense!It'sadelightfulspot."

"Haveyoubeenthere?"

"No.ButofcourseeverybodyknowsBrookport.Healthy,invigorating....Suretobe.Theveryname....You'llbeashappyasthedaysarelong!"

"Andhowlongwillthedaysbe!"

"Come,come.Youmustn'tlookonthedarkside."

"Isthereanother?"Jilllaughed."Youareanoldhumbug,UncleChris.Youknowperfectlywellwhatyou'recondemningmeto.IexpectBrookportwillbelikeasortofSouthendinwinter.Oh,well,I'llbebrave.Butdohurryandmakeafortune,becauseIwanttocometoNewYork."

"Mydear,"saidUncleChrissolemnly,"ifthereisadollarlyinglooseinthiscity,restassuredthatIshallhaveit!And,ifit'snotloose,Iwilldetachitwiththegreatestpossiblespeed.Youhaveonlyknownmeinmydecadence,anidleandunprofitableLondonclubman.Icanassureyouthatlurkingbeneaththesurface,thereisabusinessacumengiventofewmen...."

"Oh,ifyouaregoingtotalkpoetry,"saidJill,"I'llleaveyou.Anyhow,Ioughttobegettingbelowandputtingmythingstogether."

II

IfJill'svisionofBrookportasawintrySouthendwasnotentirelyfulfilled,neitherwasUncleChris'pictureofitasanearthlyparadise.Attherighttimeoftheyear,likemostofthesummerresortsonthesouthshoreofLongIsland,itisnotwithoutitsattractions;butJanuaryisnotthemonthwhichmostpeoplewouldchooseforlivinginit.ItpresenteditselftoJillonfirstacquaintanceintheaspectofawind-sweptrailroadstation,dumped

downfarawayfromhumanhabitationinthemiddleofastretchofflatandraggedcountrythatremindedheralittleofpartsofSurrey.Thestationwasjustashedonafoundationofplankswhichlayflushwiththerails.Fromthisshed,asthetrainclankedin,thereemergedatall,shamblingmaninaweather-beatenovercoat.Hehadaclean-shaven,wrinkledface,andhelookeddoubtfullyatJillwithsmalleyes.SomethinginhisexpressionremindedJillofherfather,asabadcaricatureofapublicmanwillrecalltheoriginal.Sheintroducedherself.



"Ifyou'reUncleElmer,"shesaid,"I'mJill."

Themanheldoutalonghand.Hedidnotsmile.Hewasasbleakastheeastwindthatswepttheplatform.

"Gladtomeetyouagain,"hesaidinamelancholyvoice.ItwasnewstoJillthattheyhadmetbefore.Shewonderedwhere.Herunclesuppliedtheinformation."LasttimeIsawyou,youwereakiddyinshortfrocks,runningroundandshoutingtobeattheband."Helookedupanddowntheplatform."_I_neverheardachildmakesomuchnoise!"

"I'mquitequietnow,"saidJillencouragingly.Therecollectionofherinfantrevelryseemedtohertobedistressingherrelative.

Itappeared,however,thatitwasnotonlythisthatwasonhismind.

"Ifyouwanttodrivehome,"hesaid,"we'llhaveto'phonetotheDurhamHouseforahack."Hebroodedawhile,Jillremainingsilentathisside,loathtobreakinuponwhateversecretsorrowhewaswrestlingwith."Thatwouldbeadollar,"hewenton."They'rerobbersintheseparts!Adollar!Andit'snotoveramileandahalf.Areyoufondofwalking?"

Jillwasabrightgirl,andcouldtakeahint.

"Ilovewalking,"shesaid.ShemighthaveaddedthatshepreferredtodoitonadaywhenthewindwasnotblowingquitesokeenlyfromtheEast,butheruncle'sobviousexcitementattheprospectofcheatingtherapacityofthesharksattheDurhamHouserestrainedher.Herindependentsoulhadnotquiteadjusteditselftotheprospectoflivingonthebountyofherfellows,relativesthoughtheywere,andshewasdesirousofimposingaslightaburdenuponthemaspossible."Buthowaboutmytrunk?"

"Theexpressmanwillbringthatup.Fiftycents!"saidUncleElmerinacrushedway.Thehighcostofentertainingseemedtobeafflicting

thismandeeply.

"Oh,yes,"saidJill.Shecouldnotseehowthisparticularexpenditurewastobeavoided.Anxiousasshewastomakeherselfpleasant,shedeclinedtoconsidercarryingthetrunktotheirdestination."Shallwestart,then?"

Mr.Marinerledthewayoutintotheice-coveredroad.Thewindwelcomedthemlikeaboisterousdog.Forsomeminutestheyproceededinsilence.

"Yourauntwillbegladtoseeyou,"saidMr.Marineratlastinthevoicewithwhichoneannouncesthedeathofadearfriend.

"It'sawfullykindofyoutohavemetostaywithyou,"saidJill.Itisahumantendencytothink,whencrisesoccur,intermsofmelodrama,andunconsciouslyshehadbeguntoregardherselfsomewhatinthelightofaheroinedrivenoutintotheworldfromtheoldhome,withnorooftoshelterherhead.Thepromptitudewithwhichthesegoodpeople,who,thoughrelatives,wereafterallcompletestrangers,hadofferedheraresting-placetouchedher."IhopeIshan'tbeintheway."



"MajorSelbywasspeakingtomeonthetelephonejustnow,"saidMr.Mariner,"andhesaidthatyoumightbethinkingofsettlingdowninBrookport.I'vesomenicelittleplacesroundherewhichyoumightliketolookat.Rentorbuy.It'scheapertobuy.Brookport'sagrowingplace.It'sgettingknownasasummerresort.There'sabungalowdownontheshoreI'dliketoshowyouto-morrow.Standsinanicelargeplotofground,andifyouboughtitfortwelvethousandyou'dbegettingabargain."

Jillwastooastonishedtospeak.PlainlyUncleChrishadmadenomentionofthechangeinherfortunes,andthismanlookedonherasagirlofwealth.ShecouldonlythinkhowtypicalthiswasofUncleChris.Therewasasortofboyishimpishnessabouthim.Shecouldseehimatthetelephone,suaveandimportant.Hewouldhavehungupthereceiverwithacomplacentsmirk,thoroughlysatisfiedthathehaddoneheranexcellentturn.

"IputallmymoneyintorealestatewhenIcametolivehere,"wentonMr.Mariner."Ibelieveintheplace.It'sgrowingallthetime."

Theyhadcometotheoutskirtsofastragglingvillage.Thelightsinthewindowsgaveawelcomesuggestionofwarmth,fordarknesshadfallenswiftlyduringtheirwalkandthechillofthewindhadbecomemorebiting.Therewasasmellofsaltintheairnow,andonceor

twiceJillhadcaughtthelowboomingofwavesonsomedistantbeach.ThiswastheAtlanticpoundingthesandyshoreofFireIsland.Brookportitselflayinside,onthelagooncalledtheGreatSouthBay.

Theypassedthroughthevillage,bearingtotheright,andfoundthemselvesinaroadborderedbylargegardensinwhichstoodbig,darkhouses.ThespectacleofthesestimulatedMr.Marinertosomethingapproachingeloquence.Hequotedthepricepaidforeach,thepriceasked,thepriceoffered,thepricethathadbeenpaidfiveyearsago.Therecitalcarriedthemonforanothermile,inthecourseofwhichthehousesbecamesmallerandmorescattered,andfinally,whenthecountryhadbecomebareanddesolateagain,theyturneddownanarrowlaneandcametoatall,gaunthousestandingbyitselfina

field.

"ThisisSandringham,"saidMr.Mariner.

"What!"saidJill."Whatdidyousay?"

"Sandringham.Wherewelive.Igotthenamefromyourfather.IrememberhimtellingmetherewasaplacecalledthatinEngland."

"Thereis."Jill'svoicebubbled."TheKinglivesthere."

"Isthatso?"saidMr.Mariner."Well,Ibethedoesn'thavethetroublewithhelpthatwehavehere.Ihavetopayourgirlfifty

dollarsamonth,andanothertwentyforthemanwholooksafterthefurnaceandchopswood.They'reallrobbers.Andifyoukicktheyquitonyou!"

III

JillenduredSandringhamfortendays;and,lookingbackonthatperiodofherlifelater,shewonderedhowshedidit.Thesenseofdesolationwhichhadgrippedheronthestationplatformincreased



ratherthandiminishedasshegrewaccustomedtohersurroundings.Theeastwinddiedaway,andthesunshonefitfullywithasuggestionofwarmth,butheruncle'sbleaknessappearedtobeastaticquality,independentofweatherconditions.Heraunt,afadedwoman,withaperpetualcoldinthehead,didnothingtopromotecheerfulness.Therestofthehouseholdconsistedofagloomychild,"Tibby,"agedeight;aspaniel,probablyafewyearsolder,andanintermittentcat,who,whenhedidputinanappearance,wasthelifeandsouloftheparty,butwhosevisitstohishomewerealltooinfrequentforJill.

ThepicturewhichMr.MarinerhadformedinhismindofJillasawealthyyoungladywithatasteforhousepropertycontinuedasvividasever.Itwashispracticeeachmorningtoconductherabouttheneighbourhood,introducinghertothevarioushousesinwhichhehadsunkmostofthemoneyhehadmadeinbusiness.Mr.Mariner'slifecentredaroundBrookportrealestate,andtheembarrassedJillwascompelledtoinspectsitting-rooms,bathrooms,kitchens,andmaster'sbedroomstillthesoundofakeyturninginalockgaveherafeelingofnervousexhaustion.Mostofheruncle'shouseswereconvertedfarm-houses,and,asoneunfortunatepurchaserhadremarked,notsodarnedconvertedatthat.ThedaysshespentatBrookportremainedinJill'smemoryasasmellofdampnessandchillandcloseness.

"Youwanttobuy,"saidMr.Marinereverytimeheshutafront-door

behindthem."Notrent.Buy.Then,ifyoudon'twanttolivehere,youcanalwaysrentinthesummer."

ItseemedincredibletoJillthatthesummerwouldevercome.WinterheldBrookportinitsgrip.Forthefirsttimeinherlifeshewastastingrealloneliness.Shewanderedoverthesnow-patchedfieldsdowntothefrozenbay,andfoundtheintensestillness,punctuatedonlybytheoccasionaldistantgunshotofsomeoptimisttryingforduck,oppressiveratherthanrestful.Shelookedontheweirdbeautyoftheice-boundmarsheswhichglitteredredandgreenandblueinthesunwithunseeingeyes;forherisolationwasgivinghertimetothink,andthoughtwasatorment.

OntheeighthdaycamealetterfromUncleChris--acheerful,evenrollickingletter.ThingsweregoingwellwithUncleChris,itseemed.Aswashishabit,hedidnotenterintodetails,buthewroteinaspaciouswayoflargethingstobe,ofaffairsthatwerecomingoutright,ofprosperityinsight.Astangibleevidenceofsuccess,heenclosedapresentoftwentydollarsforJilltospendintheBrookportshops.

Theletterarrivedbythemorningmail,andtwohourslaterMr.MarinertookJillbyoneofhisusualoverlandroutestoseeahousenearerthevillagethanmostofthosewhichshehadviewed.Mr.Marinerhadexhaustedthesupplyofcottagesbelongingtohimself,andthisonewasthepropertyofanacquaintance.Therewouldbean

agent'sfeeforhiminthedeal,ifitwentthrough,andMr.Marinerwasnotamanwhodespisedmoneyinsmallquantities.

Therewasatouchofhopefulnessinhisgloomthismorning,likethefirstintimationofsunshineafterawetday.Hehadbeenthinkingthethingover,andhadcometotheconclusionthatJill'sunresponsivenesswhenconfrontedwiththehousesshehadalreadyseenwasduetothefactthatshehadloftierideasthanhehadsupposed.Somethingalittlemoremagnificentthanthetwelvethousanddollarplaceshehadshownherwaswhatshedesired.Thishousestoodonahilllookingdownonthebay,in



severalacresofground.Ithaditsprivatelanding-stageandbath-house,itsdairy,itssleeping-porches--everything,infact,thatasensiblegirlcouldwant.Mr.Marinercouldnotbringhimselftosupposethathewouldfailagainto-day.

"They'reaskingahundredandfivethousand,"hesaid,"butIknowthey'dtakeahundredthousand.And,ifitwasaquestionofcashdown,theywouldgoevenlower.It'safinehouse.Youcouldentertainthere.Mrs.Bruggenheimrenteditlastsummer,andwantedtobuy,butshewouldn'tgoaboveninetythousand.Ifyouwantit,you'dbettermakeupyourmindquick.Aplacelikethisisapttobesnappedupinahurry."

Jillcouldendureitnolonger.

"But,yousee,"shesaidgently,"allIhaveintheworldistwentydollars!"

Therewasapainfulpause.Mr.Marinershotaswiftglanceatherinthehopeofdiscoveringthatshehadspokenhumorously,butwascompelledtodecidethatshehadnot.

"Twentydollars!"heexclaimed.

"Twentydollars,"saidJill.

"Butyourfatherwasarichman."Mr.Mariner'svoicewashighandplaintive."HemadeafortuneoverherebeforehewenttoEngland."

"It'sallgone.Igotnipped,"saidJill,whowasfindingacertainamountofhumourinthesituation,"inAmalgamatedDyes."

"AmalgamatedDyes?"

"They'resomething,"explainedJill,"thatpeoplegetnippedin."

Mr.Marinerdigestedthis.

"Youspeculated?"hegasped.

"Yes."

"Youshouldn'thavebeenallowedtodoit,"saidMr.Marinerwarmly."MajorSelby,youruncle,oughttohaveknownbetterthantoallowyou."

"Yes,oughtn'the?"saidJilldemurely.

Therewasanothersilence,lastingforaboutaquarterofamile.

"Well,it'sabadbusiness,"saidMr.Mariner.

"Yes,"saidJill."I'vefeltthatmyself."

*****

TheresultofthisconversationwastoeffectachangeintheatmosphereofSandringham.Thealterationinthedemeanourofpeopleofparsimonioushabit,whentheydiscoverthattheguesttheyareentertainingisapauperandnot,astheyhadsupposed,anheiress,is



subtlebutwellmarked.Inmostcases,morewellmarkedthansubtle.Nothingwasactuallysaid,buttherearethoughtsthatarealmostasaudibleaswords.Acertainsuspenseseemedtocreepintotheair,ashappenswhenasituationhasbeenreachedwhichistoopoignanttolast.GreekTragedyaffectsthereaderwiththesamesenseofoverhangingdoom.Things,wefeel,cannotgoonastheyare.

Thatnight,afterdinner,Mrs.MarineraskedJilltoreadtoher.

"Printtriesmyeyesso,dear,"saidMrs.Mariner.

Itwasasmallthing,butithadthesignificanceofthatlittlecloudthataroseoutofthesealikeaman'shand.Jillappreciatedtheportent.Shewas,sheperceived,tomakeherselfuseful.

"OfcourseIwill,"shesaidcordially."Whatwouldyoulikemetoread?"

Shehatedreadingaloud.Italwaysmadeherthroatsore,andhereyeskippedtotheendofeachpageandtooktheinterestoutofitlongbeforethepropertime.Butsheproceededbravely,forherconsciencewastroublingher.Hersympathywasdividedequallybetweentheseunfortunatepeoplewhohadbeensaddledwithanundesiredvisitorandherselfwhohadbeenplacedinapositionatwhicheveryindependent

nerveinherrebelled.Evenasachildshehadloathedbeingunderobligationstostrangersorthosewhomshedidnotlove.

"Thankyou,dear,"saidMrs.Mariner,whenJill'svoicehadroughenedtoawearycroak."Youreadsowell."Shewrestledineffectuallywithherhandkerchiefagainstthecoldintheheadfromwhichshehadalwayssuffered."Itwouldbeniceifyouwoulddoiteverynight,don'tyouthink?Youhavenoideahowtiredprintmakesmyeyes."

Onthefollowingmorningafterbreakfast,atthehourwhenshehadhithertogonehouse-huntingwithMr.Mariner,thechildTibby,ofwhomuptillnowshehadseenlittleexceptatmeals,presentedhimselftoher,coatedandshodfortheopenandregardingherwithadulland

phlegmaticgaze.

"Masayswillyoupleasetakemeforanicewalk!"

Jill'sheartsank.Shelovedchildren,butTibbywasnotaningratiatingchild.HewasaMr.Marinerinlittle.Hehadthefamilygloom.ItpuzzledJillsometimeswhythisbranchofthefamilyshouldlookonlifewithsojaundicedaneye.Sherememberedherfatherasacheerfulman,alivetothesmallhumoursoflife.

"Allright,Tibby.Whereshallwego?"

"MasayswemustkeepontheroadsandImustn'tslide."

Jillwasthoughtfulduringthewalk.Tibby,whowasnoconversationist,gavehereveryopportunityformeditation.Sheperceivedthatinthespaceofafewhoursshehadsunkinthesocialscale.Iftherewasanydifferencebetweenherpositionandthatofapaidnurseandcompanionitlayinthefactthatshewasnotpaid.Shelookedaboutheratthegrimcountryside,gaveathoughttothechillgloomofthehousetowhichshewasabouttoreturn,andherheartsank.



Nearinghome,Tibbyvouchedhisfirstindependentobservation.

"Thehiredman'squit!"

"Hashe?"

"Yep.Quitthismorning."

Ithadbeguntosnow.Theyturnedandmadetheirwaybacktothehouse.TheinformationshehadreceiveddidnotcauseJillanygreatapprehension.Itwashardlylikelythathernewdutieswouldincludethestokingofthefurnace.Thatandcookingappearedtobetheonlyactsaboutthehousewhichwereoutsideherpresentsphereofusefulness.

"Hekilledaratonceinthewood-shedwithanaxe,"saidTibbychattily."Yessir!Choppeditrightinhalf,anditbled!"

"Lookattheprettysnowfallingonthetrees,"saidJillfaintly.

Atbreakfastnextmorning,Mrs.Marinerhavingsneezed,madeasuggestion.

"Tibby,darling,wouldn'titbeniceifyouandcousinJillplayeda

gameofpretendingyouwerepioneersintheFarWest?"

"What'sapioneer?"enquiredTibby,pausinginthemiddleofanactofviolenceonaplateofoatmeal.

"Thepioneersweretheearlysettlersinthiscountry,dear.Youhavereadabouttheminyourhistorybook.Theyenduredagreatmanyhardships,forlifewasveryroughforthem,withnorailroadsoranything.Ithinkitwouldbeanicegametoplaythismorning."

TibbylookedatJill.Therewasdoubtinhiseye.Jillreturnedhisgazesympathetically.Onethoughtwasinboththeirminds.

"Thereisastringtothis!"saidTibby'seye.

Mrs.Marinersneezedagain.

"Youwouldhavelotsoffun,"shesaid.

"What'udwedo?"askedTibbycautiously.Hehadbeenhadthiswaybefore.Onlylastsummer,onhismother'ssuggestionthatheshouldpretendhewasashipwreckedsailoronadesertisland,hehadperspiredthroughawholeafternooncuttingthegrassinfrontofthehousetomakeashipwreckedsailor'ssimplebed.

"Iknow,"saidJill."We'llpretendwe'repioneersstormboundintheir

logcabininthewoods,andthewolvesarehowlingoutside,andtheydaren'tgoout,sotheymakealovelybigfireandsitinfrontofitandread."

"Andeatcandy,"suggestedTibby,warmingtotheidea.

"Andeatcandy,"agreedJill.

Mrs.Marinerfrowned.



"Iwasgoingtosuggest,"shesaidfrostily,"thatyoushovelledthesnowawayfromthefrontsteps!"

"Splendid!"saidJill."Oh,butIforgot.Iwanttogotothevillagefirst."

"Therewillbeplentyoftimetodoitwhenyougetback."

"Allright.I'lldoitwhenIgetback."

Itwasaquarterofanhour'swalktothevillage.Jillstoppedatthepost-office.

"Couldyoutellme,"sheasked,"whenthenexttrainistoNewYork?"

"There'soneatten-ten,"saidthewomanbehindthewindow."You'llhavetohurry."

"I'llhurry!"saidJill.

CHAPTERVIII

THEDRY-SALTERSWINGDEREK

I

Doctors,layingdownthelawintheirusualconfidentway,tellusthatthevitalityofthehumanbodyisatitslowestattwoo'clockinthemorning:andthatitisthen,asaconsequence,thatthemindisleastabletocontemplatethepresentwithequanimity,thefuturewithfortitude,andthepastwithoutregret.Everythinkingman,however,knowsthatthisisnotso.Thetruezerohour,desolate,gloom-ridden,andspectre-haunted,occursimmediatelybeforedinnerwhileweare

waitingforthatcocktail.Itisthenthat,strippedforabriefmomentofourarmourofcomplacencyandself-esteem,weseeourselvesasweare--frightfulchumpsinaworldwherenothinggoesright;agreyworldinwhich,hopingtoclick,wemerelygettheraspberry;where,animatedbythebestintentions,weneverthelesssucceedinperpetratingthescaliestbloomersandlandingourlovedonesneck-deepinthegumbo.

SoreflectedFreddieRooke,thatpricelessoldbean,sittingdisconsolatelyinanarm-chairattheDronesClubabouttwoweeksafterJill'sdeparturefromEngland,waitingforhisfriendAlgyMartyntotrickleinandgivehimdinner.

SurveyingFreddie,ashedroopsonhisspineintheyieldingleather,oneisconsciousofone'slimitationsasawriter.Gloomlikehiscallsforthepenofamaster.Zolacouldhavetackleditnicely.Gorkymighthavemadeastabatit.Dostoevskywouldhavehandleditwithrelish.Butforoneselfthethingistoovast.Onecannotwangleit.Itintimidates.Itwouldhavebeenbadenoughinanycase,forAlgyMartynwaslateasusualanditalwaysgaveFreddiethepiptohavetowaitfordinner:butwhatmadeitworsewasthefactthattheDroneswasnotoneofFreddie'sclubsandso,untiltheblighterAlgyarrived,itwasimpossibleforhimtogethiscocktail.Therehesat,



surroundedbyhappy,laughingyoungmen,eachgraspingaglassofthegoodoldmixture-as-before,absolutelyunabletoconnect.Someofthem,casualacquaintances,hadnoddedtohim,waved,andgoneonloweringthejuice,--aspectaclewhichmadeFreddiefeelmuchasthewoundedsoldierwouldhavefeltifSirPhilipSidney,insteadofofferinghimthecupofwater,hadplacedittohisownlipsanddraineditwithacareless"Cheerio!"NowonderFreddieexperiencedthesortofabysmalsoul-sadnesswhichafflictsoneofTolstoi'sRussianpeasantswhen,afterputtinginaheavyday'sworkstranglinghisfather,beatinghiswife,anddroppingthebabyintothecityreservoir,heturnstothecupboard,onlytofindthevodka-bottleempty.

Freddiegavehimselfuptodespondency:and,asalwaysinthesedayswhenhewasmournful,hethoughtofJill.Jill'ssadcasewasacontinualsourceofmentalanguishtohim.Fromthefirsthehadblamedhimselfforthebreaking-offofherengagementwithDerek.IfhehadnotsentthemessagetoDerekfromthepolice-station,thelatterwouldneverhaveknownabouttheirarrest,andallwouldhavebeenwell.Andnow,afewdaysago,hadcomethenewsofherfinancialdisaster,withitsattendantcomplications.

IthaddescendedonFreddielikeathunderboltthroughthemediumofRonnyDevereux.

"Isay,"Ronnyhadsaid,"haveyouheardthelatest?Yourpal,Underhill,hasbrokenoffhisengagementwithJillMariner."

"Iknow;ratherrotten,what!"

"Rotten?Ishouldsayso!Itisn'tdone.Imeantosay,chapcan'tchuckagirljustbecauseshe'slosthermoney.Simplyisn'tontheboard,oldman!"

"Losthermoney?Whatdoyoumean?"

Ronnywassurprised.Hadn'tFreddieheard?Yes,absolutefact.Hehad

itfromthebestauthority.Didn'tknowhowithadhappenedandallthat,butJillMarinerhadgonecompletelybust;Underhillhadgivenherthemiss-in-baulk;andthepoorgirlhadleggedit,nooneknewwhere.Oh,FreddiehadmetherandshehadtoldhimshewasgoingtoAmerica?Well,then,leggedittoAmerica.ButthepointwasthattheswineUnderhillhadhandedherthemittenjustbecauseshewasbroke,andthatwaswhatRonnythoughtsoballyrotten.Brokeragirlis,Ronnymeanttosay,moreafellowshouldsticktoher.

"But--"Freddierushedtohishero'sdefence."Butitwasn'tthatatall.Somethingquitedifferent.Imean,Derekdidn'tevenknowJill

hadlosthermoney.Hebroketheengagementbecause...."Freddie

stoppedshort.Hedidn'twanteverybodytoknowofthatrottenarrestbusiness,astheyinfalliblywouldifheconfidedinRonnyDevereux.Sortofthinghewouldneverhearthelastof."Hebrokeitoffbecauseofsomethingquitedifferent."

"Oh,yes!"saidRonnysceptically.

"Buthedid,really!"

Ronnyshookhishead.



"Don'tyoubelieveit,oldson.Don'tyoubelieveit.Standstoreasonitmusthavebeenbecausethepoorgirlwasbroke.Youwouldn'thavedoneitandIwouldn'thavedoneit,butUnderhilldid,andthat'sallthereistoit.Imean,atick'satick,andthere'snothingmoretosay.Well,Iknowhe'sbeenapalofyours,Freddie,but,nexttimeImeethim,byJove,I'llcuthimdead.OnlyIdon'tknowhimtospeakto,dashit!"concludedRonnyregretfully.

Ronny'snewshadupsetFreddie.DerekhadreturnedtotheAlbanyacoupleofdaysago,moodyandsilent.TheyhadlunchedtogetherattheBachelors,andFreddiehadbeenpainedattheattitudeofhisfellow-clubmen.Usually,whenhelunchedattheBachelors,histablebecameasortofsocialcentre.Cheerybirdswouldrolluptopassthetimeofday,andfestiveoldeggswouldtoddleovertohavecoffeeandsoforth,andallthatsortofthing.Jolly!Onthisoccasionnobodyhadrolled,andalltheeggspresenthadtakentheircoffeeelsewhere.TherewasanuncomfortablechillintheatmosphereofwhichFreddiehadbeenacutelyconscious,thoughDerekhadnotappearedtonoticeit.ThethinghadonlycomehometoDerekyesterdayattheAlbany,whenthepainfulepisodeofWallyMasonhadoccurred.Itwasthisway....

"Hullo,Freddie,oldtop!Sorrytohavekeptyouwaiting."

Freddielookedupfromhisbrokenmeditations,tofindthathishosthadarrived.

"Hullo!"

"Aquickbracer,"saidAlgyMartyn,"andthenthejollyoldfood-stuffs.It'sprettylate,Isee.Didn'tnoticehowtimewasslipping."

Overthesoup,Freddiewasstillapreytogloom.Foroncethehealinggin-and-vermouthhadfailedtodoitsnoblework.Hesippedsombrely,sosombrelyastocausecommentfromhishost.

"Pipped?"enquiredAlgysolicitously.

"Prettypipped,"admittedFreddie.

"Backedaloser?"

"No."

"Somethingwrongwiththeoldtum?"

"No....Worried."

"Worried?"

"AboutDerek."

"Derek?Who's...?Oh,youmeanUnderhill?"

"Yes."

AlgyMartynchasedanelusivepieceofcarrotabouthissoupplate,watchingitinterestedlyasitslidcoylyfromthespoon.



"Oh?"hesaid,withsuddencoolness."Whatabouthim?"

Freddiewastooabsorbedinhissubjecttonoticethechangeinhisfriend'stone.

"Adashedunpleasantthing,"hesaid,"happenedyesterdaymorningatmyplace.Iwasjustthinkingaboutgoingouttolunch,whenthedoor-bellrangandBarkersaidachappieofthenameofMasonwouldliketoseeme.Ididn'trememberanyMason,butBarkersaidthechappiesaidheknewmewhenIwasakid.Soheloosedhimintotheroom,anditturnedouttobeafellowIusedtoknowyearsagodowninWorcestershire.Ididn'tknowhimfromAdamatfirst,butgraduallytheoldbeangottowork,andIplacedhim.WallyMasonhisnamewas.Rummilyenough,hehadspokentomeattheLeicesterthatnightwhenthefirewas,butnotbeingabletoplacehim,Ihadgivenhimthemisssomewhat.Youknowhowitis.Coveyou'veneverbeenintroducedtosayssomethingtoyouinatheatre,andyoumurmursomethingandsheeroff.What?"

"Absolutely,"agreedAlgyMartyn.HethoroughlyapprovedofFreddie'scodeofetiquette.Sheeroff.Onlythingtodo.

"Well,anyhow,nowthathehadturnedupagainandtoldmewhohewas,

Ibegantoremember.Wehadbeenkidstogether,don'tyouknow.(What'sthis?Salmon?Oh,rightho.)SoIbuzzedaboutanddidthejovialhost,youknow;gavehimadrinkandatoofer,andallthatsortofthing;andtalkedaboutthedearolddaysandwhatnot.Andsoforth,ifyoufollowme.ThenhebroughttheconversationroundtoJill.OfcourseheknewJillatthesametimewhenheknewme,downinWorcestershire,yousee.Wewereallprettypallyinthosedays,ifyouseewhatImean.Well,thismanMason,itseems,hadheardsomewhereaboutJilllosinghermoney,andhewantedtoknowifitwastrue.Isaidabsolutely.Hadn'theardanydetails,butRonnyhadtoldme,andRonnyhadhaditfromsomeonewhohadstableinformationandallthatsortofthing.'Dashedshame,isn'tit?'Isaid.'She'sgonetoAmerica,youknow.''Ididn'tknow,'hesaid.'Iunderstoodshewas

goingtobemarriedquitesoon.'Well,ofcourse,Itoldhimthatthatwasoff.Hedidn'tsayanythingforabit,thenhesaid'Off?'Isaid'Off.''Didshebreakitoff?'askedthechappie.'Well,no,'Isaid.'AsamatteroffactDerekbrokeitoff.'Hesaid'Oh!'(What?Ohyes,abitofpheasantwillbefine.)WherewasI?Oh,yes.Hesaid'Oh!'Now,beforethis,Ioughttotellyou,thischappieMasonhadaskedmetocomeoutandhaveabitoflunch.IhadtoldhimIwaslunchingwithDerek,andhesaid'Rightho,'orwordstothateffect,'Bringhimalong.'Derekhadbeenoutforastroll,yousee,andwewerewaitingforhimtocomein.Well,justatthispointorjuncture,ifyouknowwhatImean,inhecame,andIsaid'Oh,whatho!'andintroducedWallyMason.'Oh,doyouknowUnderhill?'Isaid,orsomethinglikethat.Youknowthesortofthing.Andthen...."

Freddiebrokeoffanddrainedhisglass.Therecollectionofthatpainfulmomenthadmadehimfeverish.Socialdifficultiesalwaysdid.

"Thenwhat?"enquiredAlgyMartyn.

"Well,itwasprettyrotten.Derekheldouthishand,asachappienaturallywould,beingintroducedtoastrangechappie,andWallyMason,givingitanabsolutemiss,wentontalkingtomejustasifwewerealone,youknow.Lookhere.HerewasI,wherethisknifeis.



Derekoverhere--thisfork--withhishandout.Masonhere--thisbitofbread.Masonlooksathiswatch,andsays'I'msorry,Freddie,butIfindI'veanengagementforlunch.Solong!'andbiffedout,withoutapparentlyknowingthatDerekwasontheearth.Imean...."Freddiereachedforhisglass."WhatImeanis,itwasdashedembarrassing.Imean,cuttingafellowdeadinmyrooms.Idon'tknowwhenI'vefeltsorotten!"

AlgyMartyndeliveredjudgmentwithgreatfirmness.

"Chappiewasperfectlyright!"

"No,butImean...."

"Absolutelycorrect-o,"insistedAlgysternly."Underhillcan'tdashaboutallovertheplacegivingthegirlhe'sengagedtothemittenbecauseshe'sbroke,andexpectnonoticetobetakenofit.IfyouwanttoknowwhatIthink,oldman,yourpalUnderhill--Ican'timaginewhatthedeuceyouseeinhim,but,schooltogetherandsoforth,makesadifference,Isuppose--Isay,ifyouwanttoknowwhatIthink,Freddie,theblighterUnderhillwouldbewelladvisedeithertolegitafterJillandgethertomarryhimorelselielowforagoodishwhiletillpeoplehaveforgottenthething.Imeantosay,fellowslikeRonnyandIandDickWimpoleandArchieStuddandthe

restofourlot--well,weallknewJillandthoughtshewasatopperandhaddancedwithherhereandthereandseenheraboutandallthat,andnaturallywefeelprettystronglyaboutthewholedashedbusiness.Underhillisn'tinourparticularset,butweallknowmostofthepeopleheknows,andwetalkaboutthisbusiness,andthethinggetsabout,andthereyouare!Mysister,whowasagreatpalofJill's,swearsthatallthegirlssheknowsmeantocutUnderhill.Itellyou,Freddie,London'sgoingtogetprettyhotforhimifhedoesn'tdosomethingdashedquickandwithgreatrapidity!"

"Butyouhaven'tgotthestoryright,oldthing!"

"Hownot?"

"Well,ImeanyouthinkandRonnythinksandalltherestofyouthinkthatDerekbrokeofftheengagementbecauseofthemoney.Itwasn'tthatatall."

"Whatwasit,then?"

"Well....Well,lookhere,itmakesmeseemafearfulassandallthat,butI'dbettertellyou.JillandIweregoingdownoneofthosestreetsnearVictoriaandablighterwastryingtoslayaparrot...."

"Parrot-shooting'sprettygoodinthoseparts,theytellme,"interjectedAlgysatirically.

"Don'tinterrupt,oldman.Thisparrothadgotoutofoneofthehouses,andafellowwasjabbingatitwithastick,andJill--youknowwhatshe'slike;impulsive,Imean,andallthat--Jillgotholdofthestickandbiffedhimwithsomevim,andapolicemanrolledupandthefellowmadeafussandthepolicemantookJillandmeofftochokey.Well,likeanass,IsentroundtoDerektobailusout,andthat'showheheardofthething.Apparentlyhedidn'tthinkalotofit,andtheresultwasthathebrokeofftheengagement."



AlgyMartynhadlistenedtothisrecitalwithgrowingamazement.

"Hebrokeitoffbecauseofthat?"

"Yes."

"Whatabsoluterot!"saidAlgyMartyn."Idon'tbelieveawordofit!"

"Isay,oldman!"

"Idon'tbelieveawordofit,"repeatedAlgyfirmly.

"Andnobodyelsewilleither.It'sdashedgoodofyou,Freddie,tocookupayarnlikethattotryandmakethingslookbetterfortheblighter,butitwon'twork.Suchadamnsillystory,too!"saidAlgywithsomeindignation.

"Butit'strue!"

"What'stheuse,Freddie,betweenoldpals?"saidAlgyprotestingly."YouknowperfectlywellthatUnderhill'sawormofthemostpronouncedorder,andthat,whenhefoundoutthatJillhadn'tanymoney,hechuckedher."

"ButwhyshouldDerekcarewhetherJillwaswelloffornot?He'sgotenoughmoneyofhisown."

"Nobody,"saidAlgyjudicially,"hasgotenoughmoneyofhisown.Underhillthoughthewasmarryingagirlwithasizablechunkoftheready,and,whenthefuseblewout,hedecideditwasn'tgoodenough.ForHeaven'ssakedon'tlet'stalkanymoreabouttheblighter.Itgivesmeapaintothinkofhim."

II

FreddiereturnedtotheAlbanyinastateofgloomanduneasiness.

Algy'sremarks,comingontopoftheWallyMasonepisode,hadshakenhim.TheLondoninwhichheandDerekmovedandhadtheirbeingisnothingbutavillage,anditwasevidentthatvillagegossipwashostiletoDerek.Peopleweretalkingabouthim.Localopinionhaddecidedthathehadbehavedbadly.Alreadyonemanhadcuthim.Freddieblenchedatasuddenvisionofstreetfulsofmen,longPiccadillysofmen,allcuttinghim,oneaftertheother.Somethinghadgottobedone.

Thesubjectwasnotaneasyonetobroachtohissomewhatforbiddingfriend,ashediscoveredwhenthelatterarrivedabouthalfanhourlater.Derekhadbeenattendingthesemi-annualbanquetoftheWorshipfulDry-SaltersCompanydownintheCity,understudyingoneof

thespeakers,aleadingmemberofParliament,whohadbeenunabletoappear;andhewasstillinthegripofthatfeelingofdegradedrepletionwhichCitydinnersinduce.

Yet,unfavourablydisposedas,judgingbyhissilenceandtheoccasionalmoodygruntsheuttered,heappearedtobetoadiscussionofhisprivateaffairs,itseemedtoFreddieimpossiblethatthenightshouldbeallowedtopasswithoutsomewordspokenonthesubject.HethoughtofRonnyandwhatRonnyhadsaid,ofAlgyandwhatAlgyhadsaid,ofWallyMasonandhowWallyhadbehavedinthisveryroom;and



henervedhimselftothetask.

"Derek,oldtop."

Agrunt.

"Isay,Derek,oldbean."

Derekrousedhimself,andlookedgloomilyacrosstheroomtowherehestood,warminghislegsattheblaze.

"Well?"

Freddiefoundadifficultyinselectingwords.Aticklishbusiness,this.Onethatmightwellhavedisconcertedadiplomat.Freddiewasnodiplomat,andthefactenabledhimtofindawayinthepresentcrisis.Equippedbynaturewithanamiabletactlessnessandahappygiftofblundering,hechargedstraightatthemainpoint,andlandedonitlikeacircuselephantalightingonabottle.

"Isay,youknow,aboutJill!"

Hestoopedtorubthebacksofhislegs,onwhichthefirewasplayingwithalittletoofierceaglow,andmissedhiscompanion'sstartand

thesuddenthickeningofhisbushyeyebrows.

"Well?"saidDerekagain.

Freddienervedhimselftoproceed.AthoughtflashedacrosshismindthatDerekwaslookingexactlylikeLadyUnderhill.Itwasthefirsttimehehadseenthefamilyresemblancequitesomarked.

"RonnyDevereuxwassaying...."falteredFreddie.

"DamnRonnyDevereux!"

"Oh,absolutely!But...."

"RonnyDevereux!Whothedevil_is_RonnyDevereux?"

"Why,oldman,you'veheardmespeakofhim,haven'tyou?Palofmine.HecamedowntothestationwithAlgyandmetomeetyourmaterthatmorning."

"Oh,_that_fellow?Andhehasbeensayingsomethingabout...?"

"Itisn'tonlyRonny,youknow,"Freddiehastenedtointerject."AlgyMartyn'stalkingaboutit,too.Andlotsofotherfellows.AndAlgy'ssisterandalotofpeoplesThey'reallsaying...."

"Whataretheysaying?"

Freddiebentdownandchafedthebackofhislegs.Hesimplycouldn'tlookatDerekwhilehehadthatLadyUnderhillexpressionontheoldmap.Rummyhehadnevernoticedbeforehowextraordinarilylikehismotherhewas.Freddiewasconsciousofafaintsenseofgrievance.Hecouldnothaveputitintowords,butwhathefeltwasthatafellowhadnorighttogoaboutlookinglikeLadyUnderhill.

"Whataretheysaying?"repeatedDerekgrimly.



"Well...."Freddiehesitated."Thatit'sabittough....OnJill,youknow."

"TheythinkIbehavedbadly?"

"Well....Oh,well,youknow!"

Dereksmiledaghastlysmile.Thiswasnotwhollyduetomentaldisturbance.ThedullheavinesswhichwasthelegacyoftheDry-Salters'dinnerhadbeguntochangetosomethingmoreactivelyunpleasant.Asub-motiveofsharppainhadbeguntorunthroughit,flashinginandoutlikelightningthroughathunder-cloud.Hefeltsullenandvicious.

"Iwonder,"hesaidwithsavagepoliteness,"if,whenyouchatwithyourfriends,youwouldmindchoosingsomeothertopicthanmyprivateaffairs."

"Sorry,oldman.Buttheystartedit,youknow."

"And,ifyoufeelyou'vegottodiscussme,kindlykeepittoyourself.Don'tcomeandtellmewhatyourdamnedfriendssaidtoeachotherandtoyouandwhatyousaidtothem,becauseitboresme.I'm

notinterested.Idon'tvaluetheiropinionsasmuchasyouseemto."Derekpaused,tobattleinsilencewiththeimperiousagonywithinhim."Itwasgoodofyoutoputmeuphere,"hewenton,"butIthinkIwon'ttrespassonyourhospitalityanylonger.Perhapsyou'llaskBarkertopackmythingsto-morrow."Derekmoved,asmajesticallyasanex-guestoftheWorshipfulCompanyofDry-Saltersmay,inthedirectionofthedoor."IshallgototheSavoy."

"Oh,Isay,oldman!Noneedtodothat."

"Goodnight."

"But,Isay...."

"AndyoucantellyourfriendDevereuxthat,ifhedoesn'tstoppokinghisnoseintomyprivatebusiness,I'llpullitoff."

"Well,"saidFreddiedoubtfully,"ofcourseIdon'tsupposeyouknow,but....Ronny'saprettyheftybird.HeboxedforCambridgeinthelight-weightsthelastyearhewasup,youknow.He...."

Derekslammedthedoor.Freddiewasalone.Hestoodrubbinghislegsforsomeminutes,aruefulexpressiononhisusuallycheerfulface.Freddiehatedrows.Helikedeverythingtojogalongsmoothly.Whatarottenplacetheworldwasthesedays!Justonethingafteranother.First,pooroldJilltakestheknockanddisappears.Hewouldmiss

herbadly.Whatagoodsort!Whatapal!Andnow--gone.Biffedoff.Next,Derek.Together,moreorless,eversinceWinchester,andnow--bing!...

Freddieheavedasigh,andreachedoutforthe_SportingTimes_,hisnever-failingcomfortintimesofdepression.Helitanothercigarandcurledupinoneofthearm-chairs.Hewasfeelingtired.Hehadbeenplayingsquashalltheafternoon,agameatwhichhewasexceedinglyexpertandtowhichhewasmuchaddicted.



Timepassed.Thepaperslippedtothefloor.Acoldcigarfollowedit.Fromthedepthsofthechaircameafaintsnore....

*****

AhandonhisshoulderbroughtFreddiewithajerkfromtroubleddreams.Derekwasstandingbesidehim.Abent,tousledDerek,apparentlyinpain.

"Freddie!"

"Hullo!"

AspasmtwistedDerek'sface.

"Haveyougotanypepsin?"

Derekutteredagroan.Whatamockerofourpettyhumandignityisthisdyspepsia,bringinglowthehaughtiestofus,lessthanloveitselfarespecterofpersons.ThiswasadifferentDerekfromthemanwhohadstalkedstifflyfromtheroomtwohoursbefore.Hispridehadbeenhumbledupontherack.

"Pepsin?"

"Yes.I'vegotthemostdamnedattackofindigestion."

ThemistsofsleeprolledawayfromFreddie.Hewasawakeagain,andbecameimmediatelyhelpful.TheseweretheoccasionswhentheLastoftheRookeswasagoodmantohaveatyourside.ItwasFreddiewhosuggestedthatDerekshouldreclineinthearm-chairwhichhehadvacated;Freddiewhonippedroundthecornertotheall-nightchemist'sandreturnedwithamagicbottleguaranteedtorelieveanostrichafterasurfeitoftenpennynails;Freddiewhomixedandadministeredthedose.

Hisministrationswererewarded.Presentlytheagonyseemedtopass.

Derekrecovered.

OnewouldsaythatDerekbecamehimselfagain,butthatthemoodofgentleremorsewhichcameuponhimashelayinthearm-chairwasonesoforeigntohisnature.Freddiehadneverseenhimsosubdued.Hewaslikeaconvalescentchild.Betweenthem,theall-nightchemistandtheDry.Saltersseemedtohavewroughtasortofmiracle.ThesetemporarysofteningsofpersonalityfrequentlyfollowCitydinners.ThetimetocatchyourDry-Salterinangelicmoodisthedayafterthesemi-annualbanquet.Gotohimthenandhewillgiveyouhiswatchandchain.

"Freddie,"saidDerek.

Theyweresittingoverthedyingfire.Theclockonthemantelpiece,besidewhichJill'sphotographhadstoodpointedtotenminutespasttwo.Derekspokeinalow,softvoice.Perhapsthedoctorsarerightafterall,andtwoo'clockisthehouratwhichourself-esteemdesertsus,leavinginitsplaceregretforpastsins,goodresolutionsforfuturebehaviour.

"WhatdoMartynandtheotherssayabout...youknow?"



Freddiehesitated.Pitytostartallthatagain.

"Oh,Iknow,"wentonDerek."TheysayIbehavedlikeacad."

"Oh,well...."

"Theyarequiteright.Idid."

"Oh,Ishouldn'tsaythat,youknow.Faultsonbothsidesandallthatsortofrot."

"Idid!"Derekstaredintothefire.ScatteredalloverLondonatthatmoment,probablyahundredWorshipfulDry-Salterswereequallysleeplessandsubdued,lookingwide-eyedintoblackpasts."IsittrueshehasgonetoAmerica,Freddie?"

"Shetoldmeshewasgoing."

"WhatafoolI'vebeen!"

Theclocktickedonthroughthesilence.Thefiresputteredfaintly,thengavealittlewheeze,likeaveryoldman.Derekrestedhischinonhishands,gazingintotheashes.

"IwishtoGodIcouldgooverthereandfindher."

"Whydon'tyou?"

"HowcanI?Theremaybeanelectioncomingonatanymoment.Ican'tstir."

Freddieleapedfromhisseat.Thesuddennessoftheactionsentared-hotcorkscrewofpainthroughDerek'shead.

"Whatthedevil'sthematter?"hedemandedirritably.EventhegentlemoodwhichcomeswithconvalescenceafteraCitydinnerisnotguaranteedtoendureagainstthissortofthing.

"I'vegotanidea,oldbean!"

"Well,there'snoneedtodance,isthere?"

"I'venothingtokeepmehere,youknow.What'sthematterwithmypoppingovertoAmericaandfindingJill?"Freddietrampedthefloor,aglow.EachbeatofhisfootjarredDerek,buthemadenocomplaint.

"Couldyou?"heaskedeagerly.

"OfcourseIcould.IwassayingonlytheotherdaythatIhadhalfamindtobuzzover.It'sawheeze!I'llgetonthenextboatandcharge

overinthecapacityofajollyoldambassador.Haveherbackinnotime.Leaveittome,oldthing!ThisiswhereIcomeoutstrong!"

CHAPTERIX

JILLINSEARCHOFANUNCLE



I

NewYorkwelcomedJill,asshecameoutofthePennsylvaniaStationinSeventhAvenue,withawhirlofpowderedsnowthattouchedhercheeklikeakiss,thecold,bracingkissonewouldexpectfromthisvividcity.Shestoodatthestationentrance,atinyfigurebesidethehugepillars,lookingroundherwitheagereyes.Awindwaswhippingdowntheavenue.Theskywasaclear,brillianttintofthebrightestblue.Energywasintheair,andhopefulness.ShewonderedifMr.ElmerMarinerevercametoNewYork.Itwashardtoseehowevenhisgloomwouldcontrivetoremainunaffectedbytheexhilarationoftheplace.

ShetookUncleChris'letterfromherbag.HehadwrittenfromanaddressonEastFifty-seventhStreet.Therewouldbejusttimetocatchhimbeforehewentouttolunch.Shehailedataxi-cabwhichwascomingoutofthestation.

Itwasaslowride,haltedrepeatedlybycongestionofthetraffic,butashortoneforJill.Shewassurprisedatherself,aLondoneroflongstanding,forfeelingsoprovincialandbeingsoimpressed.ButLondonwasfaraway.Itbelongedtoalifethatseemedyearsagoandaworldfromwhichshehadpartedforever.Moreover,thiswasundeniablyastupendouscitythroughwhichhertaxi-cabwascarrying

her.AtTimesSquarethestreamofthetrafficplungedintoawhirlpool,swingingoutofBroadwaytomeettherapidswhichpouredinfromeast,west,andnorth.OnFifthAvenueallthemotor-carsintheworldweregatheredtogether.Onthepavements,pedestrians,muffledagainstthenippingchillofthecrispair,hurriedtoandfro.And,above,thatsapphireskyspreadarichvelvetcurtainwhichmadethetopsofthebuildingsstandoutlikethewhiteminaretsofsomeeasterncityofromance.

Thecabdrewupinfrontofastoneapartmenthouse;andJill,gettingout,passedunderanawningthroughasortofmediævalcourtyard,gaywithpottedshrubs,toaninnerdoor.Shewasimpressed.Evidentlythetalesoneheardoffortunesaccumulatedovernightinthismagiccity

weretrue,andoneofthemmusthavefallentothelotofUncleChris.Fornobodytowhommoneywasaconcerncouldpossiblyaffordtoliveinaplacelikethis.IfCroesusandtheCountofMonteCristohadappliedforlodgingthere,theauthoritieswouldprobablyhavelookedonthemalittledoubtfullyatfirstandhintedatthedesirabilityofamonth'srentinadvance.

Inaglasscasebehindtheinnerdoor,readinganewspaperandchewinggum,satadignifiedoldmanintherichuniformofageneralintheGuatemalanarmy.Hewasabrilliantspectacle.Heworenojewellery,butthis,nodoubt,wasduetoaprivatedistastefordisplay.AstherewasnooneelseofhumblerrankathandfromwhomJillcouldsolicitanintroductionandtheprivilegeofanaudience,shetookthe

boldstepofaddressinghimdirectly.

"IwanttoseeMajorSelby,please."

TheGuatemalangeneralarrestedforamomenttherhythmicactionofhisjaws,loweredhispaperandlookedatherwithraisedeyebrows.AtfirstJillthoughtthathewasregisteringhaughtycontempt,thenshesawwhatshehadtakenforscornwassurprise.

"MajorSelby?"



"MajorSelby."

"NoMajorSelbylivinghere."

"MajorChristopherSelby."

"Nothere,"saidtheassociateofambassadorsandthepamperedpetofGuatemala'sproudestbeauties."Neverheardofhiminmylife!"

II

Jillhadreadworksoffictioninwhichatcertaincriseseverythinghad"seemedtoswim"infrontoftheheroine'seyes,butnevertillthismomenthadsheexperiencedthatremarkablesensationherself.TheSaviourofGuatemaladidnotactuallyswim,perhaps,buthecertainlyflickered.Shehadtoblinktorestorehisprismaticoutlinestotheirpropersharpness.AlreadythebustleandnoiseofNewYorkhadbeguntoinduceinherthatdizzyconditionofunrealitywhichonefeelsindreams,andthisextraordinarystatementaddedthefinishingtouch.

Perhapsthefactthatshehadsaid"please"tohimwhensheopenedtheconversationtouchedtheheartoftheheroofathousandrevolutions.

Dignifiedandbeautifulashewastotheeyeofthestranger,itisunpleasanttohavetorecordthathelivedinaworldwhichratherneglectedtheminorcourtesiesofspeech.Peopledidnotoftensay"please"tohim."Here!""Hi!"and"Goshdarnyou!"yes;butseldom"please."HeseemedtoapproveofJill,forheshiftedhischewing-gumtoapositionwhichfacilitatedspeech,andbegantobehelpful.

"Whatwasthenameagain?"

"Selby."

"Howjaspellit?"

"S-e-l-b-y."

"S-e-l-b-y.Oh,Selby?"

"Yes,Selby."

"Whatwasthefirstname?"

"Christopher."

"Christopher?"

"Yes,Christopher."

"ChristopherSelby?Nooneofthatnamelivinghere."

"Buttheremustbe."

Theveteranshookhisheadwithanindulgentsmile.

"YouwantMr.Sipperley,"hesaidtolerantly.InGuatemalathesemistakesarealwayshappening."Mr.GeorgeSipperley.He'sonthefourthfloor.WhatnameshallIsay?"



HehadalmostreachedthetelephonewhenJillstoppedhim.Thisisanageofjust-as-goodsubstitutes,butsherefusedtoacceptanyunknownSipperleyasasatisfactoryalternativeforUncleChris.

"Idon'twantMr.Sipperley.IwantMajorSelby."

"Howjaspellitoncemore?"

"S-e-l-b-y."

"S-e-l-b-y.Nooneofthatnamelivinghere.Mr.Sipperley--"hespokeinawheedlingvoice,asifdetermined,inspiteofherself,tomakeJillseewhatwasinherbestinterests--"Mr.Sipperley'sonthefourthfloor.Gentlemanintherealestatebusiness,"headdedinsinuatingly."He'sgotblondhairandaBostonbull-dog."

"Hemaybeallyousay,andhemayhaveadozenbull-dogs...."

"Onlyone.Jackhisnameis."

"...Butheisn'ttherightman.It'sabsurd.MajorSelbywrotetomefromthisaddress.This_is_EighteenEastFifty-seventhStreet?"

"ThisisEighteenEastFifty-seventhStreet,"concededtheothercautiously.

"I'vegothisletterhere."Sheopenedherbag,andgaveanexclamationofdismay."It'sgone!"

"Mr.SipperleyusedtohaveafriendstayingwithhimlastFall.AMr.Robertson.Dark-complexionedmanwithamoustache."

"Itookitouttolookattheaddress,andIwassureIputitback.Imusthavedroppedit."

"There'saMr.Rainsbyontheseventhfloor.He'sabrokerdownon

WallStreet.Shortmanwithanimpedimentinhisspeech."

Jillsnappedtheclaspofherbag.

"Nevermind,"shesaid."Imusthavemadeamistake.Iwasquitesurethatthiswastheaddress,butitevidentlyisn't.Thankyousomuch.I'msosorrytohavebotheredyou."

Shewalkedaway,leavingtheTerrorofParaguayandallpointswestspeechless:forpeoplewhosaid"Thankyousomuch"tohimwereevenrarerthanthosewhosaid"please."Hefollowedherwithanaffectionateeyetillshewasoutofsight,then,restoringhischewing-gumtocirculation,returnedtotheperusalofhispaper.A

momentarysuggestionpresenteditselftohismindthatwhatJillhadreallywantedwasMr.Willoughbyontheeighthfloor,butitwastoolatetosaysonow;andsoon,becomingabsorbedinthenarrativeofaspiritedhouseholderinKansaswhohadrunamuckwithahatchetandslainsix,hedismissedthematterfromhismind.

III

JillwalkedbacktoFifthAvenue,crossedit,andmadeherway



thoughtfullyalongthebreezystreetwhich,flankedononesidebytheParkandontheotherbythegreen-roofedPlazaHotelandtheapartmenthousesofthewealthy,endsinthehumblerandmoredemocraticspacesofColumbusCircle.Sheperceivedthatshewasinthatposition,familiartomelodrama,ofbeingaloneinagreatcity.Thereflectionbroughtwithitacertaindiscomfort.Thebagthatdangledfromherwristcontainedallthemoneyshehadintheworld,theverybrokenremainsofthetwentydollarswhichUncleChrishadsentheratBrookport.Shehadnowheretogo,nowheretosleep,andnoimmediatelyobviousmeansofaddingtohercapital.ItwasasituationwhichshehadnotforeseenwhenshesetouttowalktoBrookportstation.

SheponderedoverthemysteryofUncleChris'disappearance,andfoundnosolution.Thethingwasinexplicable.Shewasassureoftheaddresshehadgiveninhisletterasshewasofanythingintheworld.Yetatthataddressnothinghadbeenheardofhim.Hisnamewasnotevenknown.TheseweredeeperwatersthanJillwasabletofathom.

Shewalkedonaimlessly.PresentlyshecametoColumbusCircle,and,crossingBroadwayatthepointwherethatstreetbreaksoutintoaneruptionofautomobileshops,foundherself,suddenlyhungry,oppositearestaurantwhoseentirefrontwasasheetofplateglass.Ontheothersideofthisglass,atmarble-toppedtables,apparentlycareless

oftheirtotallackofprivacy,sattheimpecunious,lunching,theireverymouthfulaspectacleforthepasser-by.ItremindedJilloflookingatfishesinanaquarium.Inthecentreofthewindow,gazingoutinadistraitmanneroverpilesofapplesandgrape-fruit,awhite-robedministrantatastovejuggledceaselesslywithbuckwheatcakes.Hestruckthefinalnoteinthecandidnessoftheestablishment,apriestwhoseritualcontainednomysteries.SpectatorswithsufficienttimeontheirhandstopermitthemtostandandwatchwereenabledtowitnessaNewYorkmiddaymealineverystageofitscareer,fromitsprotoplasmicbeginningsasastreamofyellowish-whiteliquidpouredontopofthestovetoitsultimateNirvanaintheinterioroftheluncherintheformofanappetisingcake.Itwasaspectaclewhichnohungrygirlcouldresist.Jillwent

in,and,asshemadeherwayamongthetables,avoicespokehername.

"MissMariner!"

Jilljumped,andthoughtforamomentthatthethingmusthavebeenanhallucination.Itwasimpossiblethatanybodyintheplaceshouldhavecalledhername.ExceptforUncleChris,whereverhemightbe,sheknewnooneinNewYork.Thenthevoicespokeagain,competingvaliantlywithaclatterofcrockerysouproariousastobemorelikesomethingsolidthanameresound.

"Icouldn'tbelieveitwasyou!"

Agirlinbluehadrisenfromthenearesttable,andwasstaringatherinastonishment.Jillrecognizedherinstantly.Thosebig,patheticeyes,likealostchild's,wereunmistakable.Itwastheparrotgirl,thegirlwhomsheandFreddieRookehadfoundinthedrawing-roomatOvingdonSquarethatafternoonwhenthefoundationsoftheworldhadgivenwayandchaoshadbegun.

"Goodgracious!"criedJill."IthoughtyouwereinLondon!"

Thatfeelingofemptinessandpanic,theresultofherinterviewwith



theGuatemalangeneralattheapartmenthouse,vanishedmagically.Shesatdownatthisunexpectedfriend'stablewithalightheart.

"WhateverareyoudoinginNewYork?"askedthegirl."Ineverknewyoumeanttocomeover."

"Itwasalittlesudden.Still,hereIam.AndI'mstarving.Whatarethosethingsyou'reeating?"

"Buckwheatcakes."

"Oh,yes.IrememberUncleChristalkingaboutthemontheboat.I'llhavesome."

"Butwhendidyoucomeover?"

"Ilandedabouttendaysago.I'vebeendownataplacecalledBrookportonLongIsland.Howfunnyrunningintoyoulikethis!"

"Iwassurprisedthatyourememberedme."

"I'veforgottenyourname,"admittedJillfrankly."Butthat'snothing.Ialwaysforgetnames."

"Myname'sNellyBryant."

"Ofcourse.Andyou'reonthestage,aren'tyou?"

"Yes.I'vejustgotworkwithGobleandCohn....Hullo,Phil!"

Ayoungmanwithalithefigureandsmoothblackhairbrushedstraightbackfromhisforeheadhadpausedatthetableonhiswaytothecashier'sdesk.

"Hello,Nelly."

"Ididn'tknowyoulunchedhere."

"Don'toften.BeenrehearsingwithJoeupattheCenturyRoof,andhadaquarterofanhourtogetabite.CanIsitdown?"

"Sure.Thisismyfriend,MissMariner."

TheyoungmanshookhandswithJill,flashinganapprovingglanceatheroutofhisdark,restlesseyes.

"Pleasedtomeetyou."

"ThisisPhilBrown,"saidNelly."HeplaysthestraightforJoeWidgeon.They'rethebestjazz-and-hokumteamontheKeithCircuit."

"Oh,hush!"saidMr.Brownmodestly."Youalwayswereagreatlittlebooster,Nelly."

"Well,youknowyouare!Weren'tyouheldoveratthePalacelasttime?Well,then!"

"That'strue,"admittedtheyoungman."Maybewedidn'tgool'em,eh?Stopmeonthestreetandaskme!OnlyeighteenbowssecondhouseSaturday!"



Jillwaslistening,fascinated.

"Ican'tunderstandaword,"shesaid."It'slikeanotherlanguage."

"You'refromtheotherside,aren'tyou?"askedMr.Brown.

"Sheonlylandedaweekago,"saidNelly.

"Ithoughtsofromtheaccent,"saidMr.Brown."Soourtalksortofgoesoverthetop,doesit?Well,you'lllearnAmericansoon,ifyoustickaround."

"I'velearnedsomealready,"saidJill.ThereliefofmeetingNellyhadmadeherfeelveryhappy.Shelikedthissmooth-hairedyoungman."Amanonthetrainthismorningsaidtome,'Wouldyoucareforthemorningpaper,sister?'Isaid,'No,thanks,brother,Iwanttolookoutofthewindowandthink!'"

"Youmeetalotoffreshguysontrains,"commentedMr.Brownausterely."Youwanttogive'emthecold-storageeye."HeturnedtoNelly."DidyougodowntoIke,asItoldyou?"

"Yes."

"Didyoucop?"

"Yes.Ineverfeltsohappyinmylife.I'dwaitedoveranhouronthatlandingoftheirs,andthenJohnnyMillercamealong,andIyelledinhisearthatIwasafterwork,andhetoldmeitwouldbeallright.He'sawfullygoodtogirlswho'veworkedinshowsforhimbefore.Ifithadn'tbeenforhimImighthavebeenwaitingtherestill."

"Who,"enquiredJill,anxioustobeabreastoftheconversation,"isIke?"

"Mr.Goble.WhereI'vejustgotwork.GobleandCohn,youknow."

"Ineverheardofthem!"

Theyoungmanextendedhishand.

"Putitthere!"hesaid."Theyneverheardofme!Atleast,thefellowIsawwhenIwentdowntotheofficehadn't!Canyoubeatit!"

"Oh,didyougodownthere,too?"askedNelly.

"Sure.JoewantedtogetinanothershowonBroadway.He'dsortofgottiredofvodevil.Say,Idon'twanttoscareyou,Nelly,but,ifyou

askme,thatshowthey'reputtingoutdownthereisacitron!Idon'tthinkIke'sgotacentofhisownmoneyinit.Mybeliefisthathe'srunningitforalotofamateurs.Why,say,listen!JoeandIblowintheretoseeifthere'sanythingforus,andthere'satallguyintortoise-shellcheaterssittinginIke'soffice.Saidhewastheauthorandwasengagingtheprincipals.Wetoldhimwhowewere,anditdidn'tmakeanyhitwithhimatall.Hesaidhehadneverheardofus.And,whenweexplained,hesaidno,therewasn'tgoingtobeanyofoursortofworkintheshow.Saidhewasmakinganefforttogivethepublicsomethingratherbetterthantheusualsortofthing.No



specialitiesrequired.HesaiditwasanefforttorestoretheGilbertandSullivantradition.Say,whoaretheseGilbertandSullivanguys,anyway?TheygetwrittenupinthepapersallthetimeandInevermetanyonewho'drunacrossthem.Ifyouwantmyopinion,thatshowdownthereisacomicopera!"

"Forheaven'ssake!"Nellyhadthemusicalcomedyperformer'shorroroftheolder-establishedformofentertainment."Why,comicoperadiedintheyearone!"

"Well,theseguysaregoingtodigitup.That'sthewayitlookstome."Heloweredhisvoice."Say,IsawClaricelastnight,"hesaidinaconfidentialundertone."It'sallright."

"Itis?"

"We'vemadeitup.Itwaslikethis...."

Hisconversationtookanintimateturn.HeexpoundedforNelly'sbenefittheinnerhistory,withallitsramifications,ofarecentunfortunateriftbetweenhimselfand"thebestlittlegirlinFlatbush"--whathehadsaid,whatshehadsaid,whathersisterhadsaid,andhowitallcamerightintheend.Jillmighthavefeltalittleexcluded,butforthefactthatasuddenandexcitingideahad

cometoher.Shesatback,thinking....Afterall,whatelsewasshetodo?Shemustdosomething....

ShebentforwardandinterruptedMr.Browninhisdescriptionofabriskpassageofarmsbetweenhimselfandthebestlittlegirl'ssister,whoseemedtobeanunpleasantsortofpersonineveryway.

"Mr.Brown."

"Hello?"

"DoyouthinktherewouldbeanychanceformeifIaskedforworkatGobleandCohn's?"

"You'rejoking!"criedNelly.

"I'mnotatall."

"Butwhatdoyouwantwithwork?"

"I'vegottofindsome.Andrightaway,too."

"Idon'tunderstand."

Jillhesitated.Shedislikeddiscussingherprivateaffairs,buttherewasobviouslynowayofavoidingit.Nellywasround-eyedand

mystified,andMr.Brownhadmanifestlynointentionwhateverofwithdrawingtactfully.Hewantedtohearall.

"I'velostmymoney,"saidJill.

"Lostyourmoney!Doyoumean...?"

"I'velostitall.EverypennyIhadintheworld."

"Tough!"interpolatedMr.Brownjudicially."Iwasbrokeoncewayout



inatank-towninOklahoma.Themanagerskippedwithoursalaries.LastwesawofhimhewasdoingthetriptoCanadainnothingflat."

"Buthow?"gaspedNelly.

"IthappenedaboutthetimewemetinLondon.DoyourememberFreddieRooke,whowasatourhousethatafternoon?"

AdreamylookcameintoNelly'seyes.Therehadnotbeenanhoursincetheirpartingwhenshehadnotthoughtofthatimmaculatesportsman.ItwouldhaveamazedFreddie,couldhehaveknown,buttoNellyBryanthewastheoneperfectmaninanimperfectworld.

"DoI!"shesighedecstatically.

Mr.Brownshotakeenglanceather.

"Aha!"hecriedfacetiously."Whoishe,Nelly?Whoisthisblue-eyedboy?"

"Ifyouwanttoknow,"saidNelly,defianceinhertone,"he'sthefellowwhogavemefiftypounds,withnostringstiedtoit--getthat!--whenIwasbrokeinLondon!Ifithadn'tbeenforhim,I'dbetherestill."

"Didhe?"criedJill."Freddie!"

"Yes.Oh,Gee!"Nellysighedoncemore."IsupposeI'llneverseehimagaininthisworld."

"Introducemetohim,ifyoudo,"saidMr.Brown."HesoundsjustthesortoflittlepalI'dliketohave!"

"YourememberhearingFreddiesaysomethingaboutlosingmoneyinaslumpontheStockExchange,"proceededJill."Well,thatwashowIlostmine.It'salongstory,andit'snotworthtalkingabout,butthat'showthingsstand,andI'vegottofindworkofsomesort,and

itlookstomeasifIshouldhaveabetterchanceoffindingitonthestagethananywhereelse."

"I'mterriblysorry."

"Oh,it'sallright.HowmuchwouldthesepeopleGobleandCohngivemeifIgotanengagement?"

"Onlyfortyaweek."

"Fortydollarsaweek!It'swealth!Wherearethey?"

"OverattheGothamTheatreinForty-secondStreet."

"I'llgothereatonce."

"Butyou'llhateit.Youdon'trealizewhatit'slike.Youwaithoursandhoursandnobodyseesyou."

"Whyshouldn'tIwalkstraightinandsaythatI'vecomeforwork?"

Nelly'sbigeyesgrewbigger.



"Butyoucouldn't!'

"Whynot?"

"Why,youcouldn't!"

"Idon'tseewhy."

Mr.Brownintervenedwithdecision.

"You'redeadright,"hesaidtoJillapprovingly."Ifyouaskme,that'stheonlysensiblethingtodo.Where'sthesenseofhangingaroundandgettingstalled?Managersarehumanguys,someof'em.Probably,ifyouweretotryit,they'dappreciateabitofgall.Itwouldshow'emyou'dgotpep.Yougodownthereandtrywalkingstraightin.Theycan'teatyou.ItmakesmesickwhenIseeallthosepoordevilshangingaboutoutsidetheseoffices,waitingtogetnoticedandnobodyeverpayinganyattentiontothem.Youpushtheoffice-boyinthefaceifhetriestostopyou,andgoinandmake'emtakenotice.And,whateveryoudo,don'tleaveyournameandaddress!That'stheold,moth-eatengagthey'resuretotrytopullonyou.Tell'emthere'snothingdoing.Sayyou'reoutforaquickdecision!Stand'emontheirheads!"

Jillgotup,firedbythiseloquence.Shecalledforhercheck.

"Good-bye,"shesaid."I'mgoingtodoexactlyasyousay.WherecanIfindyouafterwards?"shesaidtoNelly.

"Youaren'treallygoing?"

"Iam!"

Nellyscribbledonapieceofpaper.

"Here'smyaddress.I'llbeinallevening."

"I'llcomeandseeyou.Good-bye,Mr.Brown.Andthankyou."

"You'rewelcome!"saidMr.Brown.

NellywatchedJilldepartwithwideeyes.

"Whydidyoutellhertodothat?"shesaid.

"Whynot?"saidMr.Brown."Istartedsomething,didn'tI?Well,IguessI'llhavetobeleaving,too.Gottogetbacktorehearsal.Say,Ilikethatfriendofyours,Nelly.There'snoyellowstreakabouther!Iwishherluck!"

CHAPTERX

JILLIGNORESAUTHORITY

I



TheofficesofMessrs.GobleandCohnweresituated,likeeverythingelseinNewYorkthatappertainstothedrama,intheneighbourhoodofTimesSquare.TheyoccupiedthefifthflooroftheGothamTheatreonWestForty-secondStreet.Astherewasnoliftinthebuildingexceptthesmallprivateoneusedbythetwomembersofthefirm,Jillwalkedupthestairs,andfoundsignsofathrivingbusinessbeginningtopresentthemselvesasearlyasthethirdfloor,wherehalfadozenpatientpersonsofeithersexhaddrapedthemselveslikeroostingfowlsuponthebanisters.Thereweremoreonthefourthfloor,andthelandingofthefifth,whichservedthefirmasawaiting-room,wasquitefull.ItisthecustomofNewYorktheatricalmanagers--thelowestorderofintelligence,withthepossibleexceptionofthe _limaxmaximus_orgardenslug,knowntoscience--toomitfromtheircalculationsthefactthattheyarelikelyeverydaytoreceivealargenumberofvisitors,whomtheywillbeobligedtokeepwaiting;andthatthesepeoplewillrequiresomewheretowait.Suchconsiderationsneveroccurtothem.Messrs.GobleandCohnhadprovidedforthosewhocalledtoseethemonesmallbenchonthelanding,convenientlysituatedattheintersectingpointofthreedraughts,andhadletitgoatthat.

Nobody,exceptperhapsthenight-watchman,hadeverseenthisbenchempty.Atwhateverhourofthedayyouhappenedtocall,youwouldalwaysfindthreewistfulindividualsseatedsidebysidewiththeir

eyesonthetinyante-roomwheresattheoffice-boy,thetelephone-girl,andMr.Goble'sstenographer.Beyondthiswasthedoormarked"Private,"throughwhich,asitopenedtoadmitsomecareless,debonairthousand-dollar-a-weekcomedianwhosaunteredinwithajaunty"Hello,Ike!"orsomefurredandscentedfemalestar,therankandfileoftheprofessionweregreeted,likeMosesonPisgah,withafleetingglimpseofthepromisedland,consistingofalargedeskandasectionofaveryfatmanwithspectaclesandabaldheadorayoungermanwithfairhairandadoublechin.

Thekeynoteofthemassmeetingonthelandingwasoneofdetermined,almostaggressivesmartness.Themenworebrightovercoatswithbandsroundthewaist,thewomenthoseimitationfurswhichtothe

uninitiatedeyeappearsomuchmoreexpensivethantherealthing.Everybodylookedverydashingandveryyoung,exceptabouttheeyes.MostoftheeyesthatglancedatJillwereweary.Thewomenwerenearlyallblondes,blondnesshavingbeendecideduponinthetheatreasthecolourthatbringsthebestresults.Themenwereallsomuchalikethattheyseemedtobemembersofonelargefamily--anillusionwhichwasheightenedbythescrapsofconversation,studdedwith"dears,""oldmans,"and"honeys,"whichcametoJill'sears.Asternfightforsupremacywasbeingwagedbyascoreorsooflivelyandpowerfulyoungscents.

ForamomentJillwassomewhatdauntedbythespectacle,butsherecoveredalmostimmediately.Theexhilaratingandheadyinfluenceof

NewYorkstillwroughtwithinher.TheBerserkspiritwasuponher,andsherememberedthestimulatingwordsofMr.Brown,ofBrownandWidgeon,thebestjazz-and-hokumteamontheKeithCircuit."Walkstraightin!"hadbeentheburdenofhisinspiringaddress.Shepushedherwaythroughthecrowduntilshecametothesmallante-room.

Intheante-roomweretheoutposts,thepicketsoftheenemy.Inonecorneragirlwashammeringenergeticallyandwithgreatspeedonatypewriter;asecondgirl,seatedataswitchboard,washavinganargumentwithCentralwhichwasalreadywarmandthreatenedtodescend



shortlytopersonalities;onachairtiltedbacksothatitrestedagainstthewall,asmallboysateatingsweetsandreadingthecomicpageofaneveningnewspaper.Allthreewereenclosed,likezoologicalspecimens,inacageformedbyahighcounterterminatinginbrassbars.

Beyondthesewatchersonthethresholdwasthedoormarked"Private."Throughit,asJillreachedtheouterdefences,filteredthesoundofapiano.

ThosewhohavestudiedthesubjecthavecometotheconclusionthattheboorishnessofNewYorktheatricalmanagers'office-boyscannotbetheproductofmerechance.Somewhere,insomesinisterdeninthecriminaldistrictsofthetown,thereisaschoolwheresmallboysaretrainedforthesepositions,wheretheirfinerinstinctsarerigorouslyuprootedandrudenesssystematicallyinculcatedbycompetentprofessors.OfthisschooltheCerberusofMessrs.GobleandCohnhadbeenthestarscholar.Quicklyseeinghisnaturalgifts,histeachershadgivenhimspecialattention.Whenhehadgraduated,ithadbeenamidstthecordialgoodwishesoftheentirestaff.Theyhadtaughthimalltheyknew,andtheywereproudofhim.Theyfeltthathewoulddothemcredit.

Thisboyraisedapairofpink-rimmedeyestoJill,sniffed,bithis

thumb-nail,andspoke.Hewasasnub-nosedboy.Hisearsandhairwerevermilion.HisnamewasRalph.Hehadsevenhundredandforty-threepimples.

"Woddyerwant?"enquiredRalph,comingwithinanaceofcondensingthequestionintoawordofonesyllable.

"IwanttoseeMr.Goble."

"Zout!"saidthePimpleKing,andreturnedtohispaper.

Therewill,nodoubt,alwaysbeclassdistinctions.Spartahadherkingsandherhelots,KingArthur'sRoundTableitsknightsandits

scullions,AmericaherSimonLegreeandherUncleTom.ButinnonationandatnoperiodofhistoryhasanyoneeverbeensobrutallysuperiortoanyoneelseasistheBroadwaytheatricaloffice-boytothecallerwhowishestoseethemanager.ThomasJeffersonheldthesetruthstobeself-evident,thatallmenarecreatedequal;thattheyareendowedbytheirCreatorwithcertainunalienablerights;thatamongtheserightsarelife,liberty,andthepursuitofhappiness.Theatricaloffice-boysdonotseeeyetoeyewithThomas.Fromtheirpinnacletheylookdownonthecommonherd,the_canaille_,anddespisethem.Theycoldlyquestiontheirrighttolive.

Jillturnedpink.Mr.Brown,herguideandmentor,foreseeingthissituation,had,sheremembered,recommended"pushingtheoffice-boyin

theface":andforamomentshefeltlikefollowinghisadvice.Prudence,orthefactthathewasoutofreachbehindthebrassbars,restrainedher.Withoutfurtherdelayshemadeforthedooroftheinnerroom.Thatwasherobjective,andshedidnotintendtobedivertedfromit.Herfingerswereonthehandlebeforeanyofthosepresentdivinedherintention.Thenthestenographerstoppedtypingandsatwithraisedfingers,aghast.Thegirlatthetelephonebrokeoffinmid-sentenceandstaredroundoverhershoulder.Ralph,theoffice-boy,outraged,droppedhispaperandconstitutedhimselfthespokesmanoftheinvadedforce.



"Hey!"

Jillstoppedandeyedtheladmilitantly.

"Wereyouspeakingtome?"

"Yes,I_was_speakingtoyou!"

"Don'tdoitagainwithyourmouthfull,"saidJill,turningtothedoor.

Thebelligerentfireintheoffice-boy'spink-rimmedeyeswassuddenlydimmedbyagushofwater.Itwasnotremorsethatcausedhimtoweep,however.Intheheatofthemomenthehadswallowedalarge,jaggedsweet,andhewassufferingseverely.

"Youcan'tgointhere!"hemanagedtoarticulate,hisironwilltriumphingoverthefleshsufficientlytoenablehimtospeak.

"I_am_goinginthere!"

"That'sMr.Goble'sprivateroom."

"Well,IwantaprivatetalkwithMr.Goble."

Ralph,hiseyesstillmoist,feltthatthesituationwasslippingfromhisgrip.Thissortofthinghadneverhappenedtohimbefore."Itellyahe_zout_!"

Jilllookedathimsternly.

"Youwretchedchild!"shesaid,encouragedbyasharpgigglefromtheneighbourhoodoftheswitchboard."Doyouknowwherelittleboysgowhodon'tspeakthetruth?Icanhearhimplayingthepiano.Nowhe'ssinging!Andit'snogoodtellingmehe'sbusy.Ifhewasbusy,hewouldn'thavetimetosing.Ifyou'reasdeceitfulasthisatyour

age,whatdoyouexpecttobewhenyougrowup?You'reanuglylittleboy,you'vegotredears,andyourcollardoesn'tfit!IshallspeaktoMr.Gobleaboutyou."

WithwhichwordsJillopenedthedoorandwalkedin.

"Goodafternoon,"shesaidbrightly.

Afterthecongestedandunfurnisheddiscomfortofthelanding,theroominwhichJillfoundherselfhadanairofcosinessandalmostofluxury.Itwasalargeroom,solidlyupholstered.Alongthefurtherwall,fillingnearlythewholeofitsspace,stoodavastandgleamingdesk,coveredwithalitterofpaperswhichroseatoneendofittoa

sortofmountainofplay-scriptsinbuffcovers.Therewasabookshelftotheleft.Photographscoveredthewalls.Nearthewindowwasadeepleatherlounge;totherightofthisstoodasmallpiano,themusic-stoolofwhichwasoccupiedbyayoungmanwithuntidyblackhairthatneededcutting.Ontopofthepiano,takingtheeyeimmediatelybyreasonofitsboldbrightness,wasbalancedalargecardboardposter.Muchofitssurfacewasfilledbyapictureofayouthinpolocostumebendingoverablondegoddessinabathing-suit.Whatspacewasleftdisplayedthelegend:



ISAACGOBLEANDJACOBCOHN

PRESENT

THEROSEOFAMERICA

(AMusicalFantasy)

BOOKANDLYRICSBYOTISPILKINGTON

MUSICBYROLANDTREVIS

Turninghereyesfromthis,Jillbecameawarethatsomethingwasgoingonattheothersideofthedesk,andsheperceivedthatasecondyoungman,thelongestandthinnestshehadeverseen,wasintheactofrisingtohisfeet,lengthuponlengthlikeanunfoldingsnake.Atthemomentofherentryhehadbeenlyingbackinanoffice-chair,sothatonlyamerelynominalsectionofhisupperstructurewasvisible.Nowherearedhisimpressivelengthuntilhisheadcamewithinmeasurabledistanceoftheceiling.Hehadahatchetfaceandarecedingchin,andhegazedatJillthroughwhatsheassumedwerethe"tortoise-shellcheaters"referredtobyherrecentacquaintance,Mr.Brown.

"Er...?"saidthisyoungmanenquiringlyinahigh,flatvoice.

Jill,likemanyotherpeople,hadabrainwhichwasunderthealternatingcontroloftwodiametricallyoppositeforces.Itwaslikeamotor-carsteeredinturnbytwodrivers,theoneadashing,recklessfellowwithnoregardforthespeedlimits,theotheratimidnovice.Allthroughtheproceedingsuptothispointthedasherhadbeenincommand.Hehadwhiskedheralongatabreak-neckpace,ignoringobstaclesandpoliceregulations.Now,havingbroughthertothissituation,heabruptlyabandonedthewheelandturneditovertohiscolleague,theshrinker.Jill,greatlydaringamomentago,nowfeltanoverwhelmingshyness.

Shegulped,andherheartbeatquickly.Thethinmantoweredoverher.Theblack-hairedpianistshookhislocksatherlikeBanquo.

"I...."shebegan.

Then,suddenly,womanlyintuitioncametoheraid.Somethingseemedtotellherthatthesemenwerejustasscaredasshewas.And,atthediscovery,thedashingdriverresumedhispostatthewheel,andshebegantodealwiththesituationwithcomposure.

"IwanttoseeMr.Goble."

"Mr.Gobleisout,"saidthelongyoungman,pluckingnervouslyatthe

papersonthedesk.Jillhadaffectedhimpowerfully.

"Out!"Shefeltshehadwrongedthepimpledoffice-boy.

"Wearenotexpectinghimbackthisafternoon.IsthereanythingIcando?"

Hespoketenderly.Thisweak-mindedyoungmanwasthinkingthathehadneverseenanythinglikeJillbefore.Anditwastruethatshewaslookingverypretty,withhercheeksflushedandhereyessparkling.



Shetouchedachordintheyoungmanwhichseemedtomaketheworldaflower-scentedthing,fullofsoftmusic.Oftenashehadbeeninloveatfirstsightbeforeinhistime,OtisPilkingtoncouldnotrecallanoccasiononwhichhehadbeeninloveatfirstsightmorecompletelythannow.Whenshesmiledathim,itwasasifthegatesofheavenhadopened.Hedidnotreflecthowmanytimes,insimilarcircumstances,thesesamegateshadopenedbefore;andthatononeoccasionwhentheyhaddonesoithadcosthimeightthousanddollarstosettlethecaseoutofcourt.Onedoesnotthinkofthesethingsatsuchtimes,fortheystrikeajarringnote.OtisPilkingtonwasinlove.Thatwasallheknew,orcaredtoknow.

"Won'tyoutakeaseat,Miss...."

"Mariner,"promptedJill."Thankyou."

"MissMariner.MayIintroduceMr.RolandTrevis?"

Themanatthepianobowed.Hisblackhairheaveduponhisskulllikeseaweedinagroundswell.

"MynameisPilkington.OtisPilkington."

Theuncomfortablesilencewhichalwaysfollowsintroductionswas

brokenbythesoundofthetelephone-bellonthedesk.OtisPilkington,whohadmovedoutintotheroomandwasnowherenearthedesk,stretchedforthapreposterousarmandremovedthereceiver.

"Yes?Oh,willyousay,please,thatIhaveaconferenceatpresent."Jillwastolearnthatpeopleinthetheatricalbusinessnevertalked:theyalwaysheldconferences."TellMrs.PeagrimthatIshallbecallinglaterintheafternoon,butcannotbesparedjustnow."Hereplacedthereceiver."AuntOlive'ssecretary,"hemurmuredinasoftasidetoMr.Trevis."AuntOlivewantedmetogoforaride."HeturnedtoJill."Excuseme.IsthereanythingIcandoforyou,MissMariner?"

Jill'scomposurewasnowcompletelyrestored.Thisinterviewwasturningoutsototallydifferentfromanythingshehadexpected.Theatmospherewascosyandsocial.ShefeltasifshewerebackinOvingdonSquare,givingteatoFreddieRookeandRonnyDevereuxandtherestofherfriendsoftheLondonperiod.Allthatwasneededtocompletethepicturewasatea-tableinfrontofher.Thebusinessnotehardlyintrudedontheproceedingsatall.Still,asbusinesswastheobjectofhervisit,shefeltthatshehadbetterapproachit.

"Icameforwork."

"Work!"criedMr.Pilkington.He,too,appearedtoberegardingtheinterviewaspurelyofasocialnature.

"Inthechorus,"explainedJill.

Mr.Pilkingtonseemedshocked.Hewincedawayfromthewordasthoughitpainedhim.

"Thereisnochorusin'TheRoseofAmerica,'"hesaid.

"Ithoughtitwasamusicalcomedy."



Mr.Pilkingtonwincedagain.

"Itisamusical_fantasy_!"hesaid."Buttherewillbenochorus.Weshallhave,"headded,atouchofrebukeinhisvoice,"theservicesoftwelverefinedladiesoftheensemble."

Jilllaughed.

"Itdoessoundmuchbetter,doesn'tit!"shesaid."Well,amIrefinedenough,doyouthink?"

"Ishallbeonlytoohappyifyouwilljoinus,"saidMr.Pilkingtonpromptly.

Thelong-hairedcomposerlookeddoubtful.Hestruckanoteupinthetreble,thenwhirledroundonhisstool.

"Ifyoudon'tmindmymentioningit,Otie,wehavetwelvegirlsalready."

"Thenwemusthavethirteen,"saidOtisPilkingtonfirmly.

"Unluckynumber,"arguedMr.Trevis.

"Idon'tcare.WemusthaveMissMariner.Youcanseeforyourselfthatsheisexactlythetypeweneed."

Hespokefeelingly.Eversincethebusinessofengagingacompanyhadbegun,hehadbeenthinkingwistfullyoftheeveningwhen"TheRoseofAmerica"hadhaditsopeningperformance--athisaunt'shouseatNewportlastsummer--withanall-starcastofsocietyfavouritesandanensemblerecruitedentirelyfromdebutantesandmatronsoftheYoungerSet.Thatwasthesortofcompanyhehadlongedtoassembleforthepiece'sprofessionalcareer,anduntilthisafternoonhehadmetwithnothingbutdisappointment.JillseemedtobetheonlygirlintheatricalNewYorkwhocameuptothestandardhewouldhavelikedtodemand.

"Thankyouverymuch,"saidJill.

Therewasanotherpause.Thesocialnotecreptintotheatmosphereagain.Jillfeltthehostess'desiretokeepconversationcirculating.

"Ihear,"shesaid,"thatthispieceisasortofGilbertandSullivanopera."

Mr.Pilkingtonconsideredthepoint.

"Iconfess,"hesaid,"that,inwritingthebook,IhadGilbertbeforemeasamodel.WhetherIhaveinanysensesucceededin...."

"Thebook,"saidMr.Trevis,runninghisfingersoverthepiano,"isasgoodasanythingGilberteverwrote."

"Oh,come,Rolie!"protestedMr.Pilkingtonmodestly.

"Better,"insistedMr.Trevis."Foronething,itisup-to-date."

"I_do_trytostrikethemodernnote,"murmuredMr.Pilkington.



"AndyouhaveavoidedGilbert'smistakeofbeingtoofanciful."

"He_was_fanciful,"admittedMr.Pilkington."Themusic,"headded,inagenerousspiritofgiveandtake,"hasallSullivan'smelodywithanewnessofrhythmpeculiarlyitsown.Youwilllikethemusic."

"Itsounds,"saidJillamiably,"asthoughthepieceisboundtobeatremendoussuccess."

"Wehopeso,"saidMr.Pilkington."Wefeelthatthetimehascomewhenthepublicisbeginningtodemandsomethingbetterthanwhatithasbeenaccustomedto.PeoplearegettingtiredofthebrainlesstrashandjinglytuneswhichhavebeengiventhembymenlikeWallaceMasonandGeorgeBevan.Theywantacertainpolish....ItwasjustthesameinGilbertandSullivan'sday.Theystartedwritingatatimewhenthemusicalstagehadreachedaterribledepthofinanity.Thetheatrewasgivenovertoburlesquesofthemostidioticdescription.Thepublicwaswaitingeagerlytowelcomesomethingofahigherclass.Itisjustthesameto-day.Butthemanagerswillnotseeit.'TheRoseofAmerica'wentupanddownBroadwayformonths,knockingatmanagers'doors."

"Itshouldhavewalkedinwithoutknocking,likeme,"saidJill.Shegotup."Well,itwasverykindofyoutoseemewhenIcameinso

unceremoniously.ButIfeltitwasnogoodwaitingoutsideonthatlanding.I'msogladeverythingissettled.Good-bye."

"Good-bye,MissMariner."Mr.Pilkingtontookheroutstretchedhanddevoutly."Thereisarehearsalcalledfortheensembleat--whenisit,Rolie?"

"Eleveno'clock,dayafterto-morrow,atBryantHall."

"I'llbethere,"saidJill."Good-bye,andthankyouverymuch."

ThesilencewhichhadfallenupontheroomassheleftitwasbrokenbyMr.Trevis.

"Somepip!"observedMr.Trevis.

OtisPilkingtonawokefromday-dreamswithastart.

"Whatdidyousay?"

"Thatgirl....Isaidshewassomepippin!"

"MissMariner,"saidMr.Pilkingtonicily,"isamostcharming,refined,cultured,andvivaciousgirl,ifyoumeanthat."

"Yes,"saidMr.Trevis."ThatwaswhatImeant!"

II

JillwalkedoutintoForty-secondStreet,lookingaboutherwiththeeyeofaconqueror.VerylittlechangehadtakenplaceintheaspectofNewYorksinceshehadenteredtheGothamTheatre,butitseemedadifferentcitytoher.Anhourago,shehadbeenastranger,driftingaimlesslyalongitsrapids.NowshebelongedtoNewYork,andNewYorkbelongedtoher.Shehadfaceditsquarely,andforcedfromit



themeansofliving.Shewalkedonwithanewjauntinessinherstride.

TheaddresswhichNellyhadgivenherwasontheeastsideofFifthAvenue.ShemadeherwayalongForty-secondStreet.Itseemedthejolliest,aliveststreetshehadeverencountered.TherattleoftheElevatedasshecrossedSixthAvenuewasmusic,andshelovedthecrowdsthatjostledherwitheverystepshetook.

ShereachedtheFifthAvenuecornerjustasthepolicemanoutinthemiddleofthestreetswunghisStop-and-Gopostroundtoallowtheup-towntraffictoproceedonitsway.Astreamofcarswhichhadbeendammedupasfarastheeyecouldreachbegantoflowswiftlypast.Theymovedinadoubleline,redlimousines,bluelimousines,mauvelimousines,greenlimousines.Shestoodwaitingforthefloodtocease,and,asshedidso,therepurredpastherthebiggestandreddestlimousineofall.Itwasacolossalvehiclewithapolar-bearatthesteering-wheelandanotherathisside.Andintheinterior,verymuchathisease,hisgazebentcourteouslyuponamassiveladyinaminkcoat,satUncleChris.

Foramomenthewassoneartoherthat,butfortheclosedwindow,shecouldhavetouchedhim.Thenthepolar-bearatthewheel,notingagapinthetraffic,steppedontheacceleratorandslippedneatly

through.Thecarmovedswiftlyonanddisappeared.

Jilldrewadeepbreath.TheStop-and-Gosignswungroundagain.Shecrossedtheavenue,andsetoutoncemoretofindNellyBryant.Itoccurredtoher,fiveminuteslater,thatareallypracticalandquick-thinkinggirlwouldhavenotedthenumberofthelimousine.

CHAPTERXI

MR.PILKINGTON'SLOVELIGHT

I

Therehearsalsofamusicalcomedy--atermwhichembraces"musicalfantasies"--generallybegininadesultorysortofwayatthatcuriousbuilding,BryantHall,onSixthAvenuejustoffForty-secondStreet.There,inadusty,uncarpetedroom,simplyfurnishedwithafewwoodenchairsandsomelongwoodenbenches,thechorus--or,inthecaseof"TheRoseofAmerica,"theensemble--sitroundapianoandendeavour,withtheassistanceofthemusicaldirector,togetthewordsandmelodiesofthefirst-actnumbersintotheirheads.Thisdone,theyarereadyforthedancedirectortoinstilintothemthesteps,the

groupings,andthebusinessfortheencores,ofwhichthatincurableoptimistalwaysseemstoexpecttherewillbeatleastsix.Later,theprincipalsareinjectedintothenumbers.Andfinally,leavingBryantHallanddodgingaboutfromoneunoccupiedtheatretoanother,principalsandchorusrehearsetogether,runningthroughtheentirepieceoverandoveragaintilltheopeningnightofthepreliminaryroadtour.

ToJill,intheearlystages,rehearsingwasjustlikebeingbackatschool.Shecouldrememberherfirstschoolmistress,whomthemusical



directorsomewhatresembledinmannerandappearance,hammeringouthymnsonapianoandleadinginaweaksopranoaneager,bayingpackofchildren,eachanxiousfrommotivesofpridetoout-bawlhernearestneighbour.

TheproceedingsbeganonthefirstmorningwiththeentranceofMr.Saltzburg,themusicaldirector,abrisk,busylittlemanwithbenevolenteyesbehindbigspectacles,whobustledovertothepiano,satdown,andplayedaloudchord,designedtoactasasortofbugleblast,rallyingtheladiesoftheensemblefromthecornerswheretheysatingroups,chatting.Fortheprocessofmakingoneanother'sacquaintancehadbegunsometenminutesbeforewithmutualrecognitionsbetweenthosewhokneweachotherfromhavingbeentogetherinpreviousproductions.Therefollowedrapidintroductionsoffriends.NellyBryanthadbeenwelcomedwarmlybyaprettygirlwithredhair,whomsheintroducedtoJillasBabe;Babehadawillowyblondefriend,namedLois,andthefourofthemhadseatedthemselvesononeofthebenchesandopenedaconversation;theirnumbersbeingaddedtoamomentlaterbyadarkgirlwithaSouthernaccentandanotherblonde.Elsewhereothergroupshadformed,andtheroomwasfilledwithanoiselikethechatteringofstarlings.Inabodybythemselves,ratherforlornandneglected,halfadozensolemnandimmaculatelydressedyoungmenwereproppingthemselvesupagainstthewallandlookingon,likemeninaball-roomwhodonotdance.

Jilllistenedtotheconversationwithouttakinganygreatpartinitherself.Shefeltasshehaddoneonherfirstdayatschool,alittleshyanddesirousofeffacingherself.Thetalkdealtwithclothes,men,andtheshowbusiness,inthatorderofimportance.Presentlyoneoftheyoungmensauntereddiffidentlyacrosstheroomandaddedhimselftothegroupwiththeremarkthatitwasafineday.Hewasreceivedalittlegrudgingly,Jillthought,butbydegreessucceededinassimilatinghimself.Asecondyoungmandriftedup;remindedthewillowygirlthattheyhadworkedtogetherinthewesterncompanyof"You'retheOne";wasrecognizedandintroduced,andjustifiedhisadmissiontothecirclebyacreditableimitationofacat-fight.FiveminuteslaterhewasaddressingtheSoutherngirlas"honey,"andhad

informedJillthathehadonlyjoinedthisshowtofillinbeforeopeningonthethree-a-daywiththeswellestlittlesong-and-danceactwhichheandalittlegirlwhoworkedinthecabaretatGeisenheimer'shadfixedup.

Onthissceneofharmonyandgood-fellowshipMr.Saltzburg'schordintrudedjarringly.Therewasageneralmovement,andchairsandbenchesweredraggedtothepiano.Mr.Saltzburgcausingamomentarydelaybyopeningalargebrownmusic-baganddigginginitlikeaterrieratarat-hole,conversationbrokeoutagain.

Mr.Saltzburgemergedfromthebag,withhishandsfullofpapers,protesting.

"Childrun!Chil-_drun_!Ifyouplease,lessnoiseandattendtome!"Hedistributedsheetsofpaper."ActOne,OpeningChorus.Iwillplaythemelodythree--fourtimes.Followattentively.Thenwewillsingitla-la-la,andafterthatwewillsingthewords.So!"

Hestrucktheyellow-keyedpianoaviciousblow,producingatinnyandcomplainingsound.Bendingforwardwithhisspectaclesalmosttouchingthemusic,heploddeddeterminedlythroughthetune,thenencoredhimself,andafterthatencoredhimselfagain.Whenhehaddonethis,



heremovedhisspectaclesandwipedthem.Therewasapause.

"Izzy,"observedthewillowyyoungladychattily,leaningacrossJillandaddressingtheSoutherngirl'sblondefriend,"haspromisedmeasunburst!"

Ageneralstirofinterestandacomingclosetogetherofheads.

"What!Izzy!"

"Sure,Izzy."

"Well!"

"He'sjustlandedthehat-checkprivilegeattheSt.Aurea!"

"Youdon'tsay!"

"Hetoldmesolastnightandpromisedmethesunburst.Hewas,"admittedthewillowygirlregretfully,"agoodbittankedatthetime,butIguesshe'llmakegood."Shemusedawhile,aratheranxiousexpressioncloudingherperfectprofile.ShelookedlikeameditativeGreekgoddess."Ifhedoesn't,"sheaddedwithmaidenlydignity,"it'sthelasttime_I_gooutwiththebigstiff.I'dtieacantohim

quicker'nlookathim!"

Amurmurofapprovalgreetedthisadmirablesentiment.

"Childrun!"protestedMr.Saltzburg."Chil-drun!Lessnoiseandchatterofconversation.Weareheretowork!Wemustnotwastetime!So!ActOne,OpeningChorus.Now,alltogether.La-la-la...."

"La-la-la...."

"Tum-tum-tumty-tumty...."

"Tum-tum-tumty...."

Mr.Saltzburgpressedhishandstohisearsinaspasmofpain.

"No,no,no!Sour!Sour!Sour!...Onceagain.La-la-la...."

Around-facedgirlwithgoldenhairandthefaceofawonderingcherubinterrupted,speakingwithalisp.

"MithterThalzburg."

"Nowwhatisit,MissTrevor?"

"Whatsortofashowisthis?"

"Amusicalshow,"saidMr.Saltzburgseverely,"andthisisarehearsalofit,notaconversazione.Oncemore,please."

Thecherubwasnottoberebuffed.

"Isthemusicgood,MithterThalzburg?"

"Whenyouhaverehearsedit,youshalljudgeforyourself.Comenow...."



"Isthereanythinginitasgoodasthatwaltzofyoursyouplayeduswhenwewererehearthing'MindHowYouGo?'Youremember.Theonethatwent...."

Atallandstatelygirl,withsleepybrowneyesandtheairofaduchessintheservants'hall,bentforwardandtookakindlyinterestintheconversation.

"Oh,haveyoucomposedavarlse,Mr.Saltzburg?"sheaskedwithpleasantcondescension."Howinteresting,really!Won'tyouplayitforus?"

ThesentimentofthemeetingseemedtobeunanimousinfavourofshelvingworkandlisteningtoMr.Saltzburg'swaltz.

"Oh,Mr.Saltzburg,do!"

"Please!"

"Someonetoldmeitwasapipterino!"

"Icert'nlydolovewaltzes!"

"Please,Mr.Saltzburg!"

Mr.Saltzburgobviouslyweakened.Hisfingerstouchedthekeysirresolutely.

"But,childrun!"

"Iamsureitwouldbeagreatpleasuretoallofus,"saidtheduchessgraciously,"ifyouwouldplayit.ThereisnothingIenjoymorethanagoodvarlse."

Mr.Saltzburgcapitulated.Likeallmusicaldirectorshehadinhisleisuremomentscomposedthecompletescoreofamusicalplayand

spentmuchofhistimewaylayinglibrettistsontheRialtoandtryingtolurethemtohisapartmenttolistentoit,withaviewtobusiness.Theeternaltragedyofamusicaldirector'slifeiscomparableonlytothatofthewaiterwho,himselffasting,hastoassistotherstoeat.Mr.Saltzburghadloftyideasonmusic,andhissoulrevoltedatbeingcompelledperpetuallytorehearseanddirecttheinferiorcompositionsofothermen.Farlesspersuasionthanhehadreceivedto-daywasusuallyrequiredtoinducehimtoplaythewholeofhisscore.

"Youwishit?"hesaid."Well,then!Thiswaltz,youwillunderstand,isthethemeofamusicalromancewhichIhavecomposed.Itwillbesungonceinthefirstactbytheheroine,theninthesecondactasa

duetforheroineandhero.Iweaveitintothefinaleofthesecondact,andwehaveanechoofit,sungoffstage,inthethirdact.WhatIplayyounowisthesecondactduet.Theverseislonger.So!Themalevoicebegins."

Apleasanttimewashadbyallfortenminutes.

"Ah,butthisisnotrehearsing,childrun!"criedMr.Saltzburgremorsefullyattheendofthatperiod."Thisisnotbusiness.Comenow,theopeningchorusofActOne,andpleasethistimekeeponthe



key.Before,itwassour,sourCome!La-la-la...."

"Mr.Thalzburg!"

"MissTrevor?"

"Therewasanawfullythweetfox-trotyouusedtoplayus.Idowish...."

"Someothertime,someothertime!Nowwemustwork.Come!La-la-la...."

"Iwishyoucouldhaveheardit,girls"saidthecherubregretfully."Honetht,itwaslalapalootha!"

Thepackbrokeintofullcry.

"Oh,Mr.Saltzburg!"

"Please,Mr.Saltzburg!"

"Doplaythefox-trot,Mr.Saltzburg!"

"Ifitisasgoodasthevarlse,"saidtheduchess,stoopingoncemore

tothecommonlevel,"Iamsureitmustbeverygoodindeed."Shepowderedhernose."Andonesorarelyhearsmusicianlymusicnowadays,doesone?"

"Whichfox-trot?"askedMr.Saltzburgweakly.

"Play'emall!"decidedavoiceontheleft.

"Yes,play'emall,"bayedthepack.

"Iamsurethatthatwouldbecharming,"agreedtheduchess,replacingherpowder-puff.

Mr.Saltzburgplayed'emall.Thismanbynowseemedentirelylosttoshame.Thepreciousminutesthatbelongedtohisemployersandshouldhavebeenearmarkedfor"TheRoseofAmerica"flittedby.Theladiesandgentlemenoftheensemble,whoshouldhavebeenabsorbingandlearningtodeliverthemelodiesofRolandTrevisandthelyricsofOtisPilkington,lolledbackintheirseats.Theyellow-keyedpianorockedbeneathanunprecedentedonslaught.Theproceedingshadbeguntoresemblenotsomucharehearsalasahappyhomeevening,andgratefulglanceswerecastatthecomplacentcherub.Shehad,itwasfelt,showntactanddiscretion.

Pleasantconversationbeganagain.

"...AndIwalkedacoupleofblocks,andtherewasexactlythesamemodelinSchwartzandGulderstein'swindowattwenty-sixfifty...."

"...HegotonForty-secondStreet,andhewaskindafreshfromthestart.AtSixty-sixthhecamesasshayingrightdownthecarandsaid'Hello,patootie!'Well,Idrewmyselfup...."

"...Evenifyouaremysister'shusband,'Isaidtohim.Oh,IsupposeIgotatemper.Ittakesalottoarouseit,y'know,butIc'ngetprettymad...."



"...Youdon'tknowthehalfofit,dearie,youdon'tknowthehalfofit!Aone-piecebathingsuit!Well,youcouldcallitthat,butthecopofthebeachsaiditwasmorelikeababy'ssock.Andwhen...."

"...SoIsaid'Listen,Izzy,that'llbeaboutallfromyou!Myfatherwasagentleman,thoughIdon'tsupposeyouknowwhatthatmeans,andI'mnotaccustomed....'"

"Hey!"

Avoicefromtheneighbourhoodofthedoorhadcutintothebabblelikeaknifeintobutter;arough,raspingvoice,loudandcompelling,whichcausedtheconversationofthemembersoftheensembletoceaseontheinstant.OnlyMr.Saltzburg,nowinaperfectfrenzyofmusicianlyfervour,continuedtoassaultthedecrepitpiano,unwittingofanunsympatheticadditiontohisaudience.

"WhatIplayyounowisthelaughingtriofrommysecondact.Itisabuildingnumber.Itissungbytenor,principalcomedian,andsoubrette.Onthesecondrefrainfourgirlswillcomeoutandtwoboys.Thegirlswilldancewiththetwomen,theboyswiththesoubrette.So!Ontheencorefourmoregirlsandtwomoreboys.Thirdencore,solo-danceforspecialtydancer,allonstagebeatingtimeby

clappingtheirhands.Onrepeat,allsingrefrainoncemore,andoff.Lastencore,thethreeprincipalsandspecialtydancerdancethedancewithentirechorus.Itisagreatbuildingnumber,youunderstand.Itisenoughtomakethesuccessofanymusicalplay,butcanIgetahearing?No!IfIaskmanagerstolistentomymusic,theyarebusy!IfIbegthemtogivemealibrettotoset,theylaugh--ha!ha!"Mr.Saltzburggaveaspiritedandlifelikerepresentationofamanagerlaughingha-hawhenbeggedtodisgorgealibretto."NowIplayitoncemore!"

"Likehellyoudo!"saidthevoice."Say,whatisthis,anyway?Aconcert?"

Mr.Saltzburgswungroundonthemusic-stool,astartledandapprehensiveman,andnearlyfelloffit.Thedivineafflatuslefthimlikeairoozingfromapuncturedtoy-balloon,and,likesuchaballoon,heseemedtogrowsuddenlylimpandflat.Hestaredwithfallenjawatthenewarrival.

Twomenhadenteredtheroom.OnewasthelongMr.Pilkington.Theother,wholookedshorterandstouterthanhereallywasbesidehisgiraffe-likecompanion,wasathick-set,fleshymanintheearlythirtieswithablond,clean-shaven,double-chinnedface.Hehadsmooth,yellowhair,anunwholesomecomplexion,andlightgreeneyes,setclosetogether.Fromtheedgeofthesemi-circleaboutthepiano,heglaredmenacinglyovertheheadsofthechorusattheunfortunate

Mr.Saltzburg.

"Whyaren'tthesegirlsworking?"

Mr.Saltzburg,whohadrisennervouslyfromhisstool,backedawayapprehensivelyfromhisgaze,and,stumblingoverthestool,satdownabruptlyonthepiano,producingacuriousnoiselikeFuturistmusic.

"I--We--Why,Mr.Goble...."



Mr.Gobleturnedhisgreengazeontheconcertaudience,andspreaddiscomfortasifitweresomethingliquidwhichhewassprayingthroughahose.Thegirlswhowerenearestlookeddownflutteringlyattheirshoes:thosefurtherawayconcealedthemselvesbehindtheirneighbours.Eventheduchess,whopridedherselfonbeingthepossessorofastareofunrivalledhaughtiness,beforewhichthefreshquailedandthosewhomadebreakssubsidedinconfusion,wasunabletomeethiseyes:andthewillowyfriendofIzzy,forallhervictoriesoverthatmonarchofthehat-checks,bowedbeforeitlikeaslimtreebeforeablizzard.

OnlyJillreturnedthemanager'sgaze.Shewasseatedontheouterrimofthesemi-circle,andshestaredfranklyatMr.Goble.Shehadneverseenanythinglikehimbefore,andhefascinatedher.Thisbehaviouronherpartsingledheroutfromthethrong,andMr.Gobleconcentratedhisattentiononher.

Forsomesecondshestoodlookingather;then,raisingastubbyfinger,helethiseyetraveloverthecompany,andseemedtobeengrossedinsomesortofmathematicalcalculation.

"Thirteen,"hesaidatlength."Imakeitthirteen."HeroundedonMr.Pilkington."Itoldyouweweregoingtohaveachorusoftwelve."

Mr.Pilkingtonblushedandstumbledoverhisfeet.

"Ah,yes...yes,"hemurmuredvaguely."Yes!"

"Well,therearethirteenhere.Count'emforyourself."HewhippedroundonJill."What's_your_name?Whoengagedyou?"

AcroakingsoundfromtheneighbourhoodoftheceilingindicatedtheclearingofMr.Pilkington'sthroat.

"I--er--_I_engagedMissMariner,Mr.Goble."

"Oh,_you_engagedher?"

HestaredagainatJill.Theinspectionwaslongandlingering,andaffectedJillwithasenseofbeinginadequatelyclothed.Shereturnedthegazeasdefiantlyasshecould,butherheartwasbeatingfast.Shehadneveryetbeenfrightenedofanyman,buttherewassomethingreptilianaboutthisfat,yellow-hairedindividualwhichdisquietedher,muchascockroacheshaddoneinherchildhood.Amomentarythoughtflashedthroughhermindthatitwouldbehorribletobetouchedbyhim.Helookedsoftandglutinous.

"Allright,"saidMr.Gobleatlast,afterwhatseemedtoJillmanyminutes.HenoddedtoMr.Saltzburg."Getonwithit!Andtryworkingalittlethistime!Idon'thireyoutogivemusicalentertainments."

"Yes,Mr.Goble,yes.Imeanno,Mr.Goble!"

"YoucanhavetheGothamstagethisafternoon,"saidMr.Goble."Calltherehearsalfortwosharp."

Outsidethedoor,heturnedtoMr.Pilkington.

"Thatwasafooltrickofyours,hiringthatgirl.Thirteen!I'dassoonwalkunderaladderonaFridayasopeninNewYorkwithachorus



ensemblewerechangingtheirpractice-clothesafteraparticularlystrenuousrehearsal,defendinghimagainsttheSoutherngirl,whocomplainedthathemadehertired.

"Youbethemakesyoutired,"shesaid."Sohedoesme.I'mlosingmygirlishcurves,andI'msostiffIcan'tlacemyshoes.Butheknowshisbusinessandhe'sonthelevel,whichismorethanyoucansayofmostoftheseguysintheshowbusiness."

"That'sright,"agreedtheSoutherngirl'sblondefriend."Hedoesknowhisbusiness.He'sputoveranyamountofshowswhichwouldhavefloppedlikedogswithouthimtostagethenumbers."

Theduchessyawned.Rehearsingalwaysboredher,andshehadnotbeengreatlyimpressedbywhatshehadseenof"TheRoseofAmerica."

"Onewillbegreatlysurprisedifhecanmakeasuccessof_this_ show!IconfessIfinditperfectlyridiculous."

"Ithn'titthelimit,honetht!"saidthecherub,arranginghergoldenhairatthemirror."Itmakethmethick!WhyonearthithIkeputtingiton?"

Thegirlwhokneweverything--thereisalwaysoneinevery

company--hastenedtoexplain.

"Iheardallaboutthat.Ikehasn'tanyofhisownmoneyinthething.He'sgettingtwenty-fivepercentoftheshowforrunningit.Theangelisthelongfellowyouseejumpingaround.Pilkingtonhisnameis."

"Well,it'llneedtobeRockefellerlateron,"saidtheblonde.

"Oh,they'llgetthomebodydowntofixthitafterwe'vebeenoutontheroadacoupleofdays,"saidthecherub,optimistically."Theyalwaythdo.I'veseenworseshowsthanthisturnedintohits.Allitwantsithanewbookandlyricsandadifferentthcore."

"Andanewsetofprincipals,"saidthered-headedBabe."Didyoueverseesuchabunch?"

Theduchess,withanothertiredsigh,archedherwell-shapedeyebrowsandstudiedtheeffectinthemirror.

"Onewonderswheretheypickthesepersonsup,"sheassentedlanguidly."TheyremindmeofaheadlineIsawinthepaperthismorning--'TonsofHamsUnfitforHumanConsumption.'Areanyofyougirlscomingmyway?ICangivetwoorthreeofyoualiftinmylimousine."

"Thorry,olddear,andthankseversomuch,"saidthecherub,"butIinstructedClarence,myman,tohavethestreet-carwaitingonthecorner,andhe'llbetooupsetifI'mnotthere."

NellyhadanengagementtogoandhelponeoftheothergirlsbuyaSpringsuit,asolemnritewhichitisimpossibletoconductbyoneself:andJillandthecherubwalkedtothecornertogether.Jillhadbecomeveryfondofthelittlethingsincerehearsalsbegan.SheremindedherofaLondonsparrow.Shewassosmallandperkyandsoabsurdlyabletotakecareofherself.



"Limouthine!"snortedthecherub.Theduchess'concludingspeechevidentlystillrankled."Shegivesmeapaininthegizthard!"

"Hasn'tshegotalimousine?"askedJill.

"Ofcourseshehasn't.She'sengagedtobemarriedtoademonstratorintheSpeedwellAutoCompany,andhethneaksoffwhenhecangetawayandgivesherjoy-rides.That'sallthelimouthineshe'sgot.Itbeatsmewhygirlsintheshowbusinessarealwayththocrazytomakethemselvesoutvampswithadozenmillionairesonastring.IfMaewouldn'tfour-flushandactliketheBelleoftheMoulinRouge,she'dbethenithestgirlyouevermet.She'smadaboutthefellowshe'sengagedto,andwouldn'tlookatallthemillionairesinNewYorkifyoubrought'emtoheronatray.She'sgoingtomarryhimasthoonashe'sthavedenoughtobuythefurniture,andthenshe'llthettledowninHarlemthomewhereandcookandmindthebabyandregularlybeoneofthelowermiddleclasses.Allthat'swrongwithMaeiththatshe'sreadGingeryStoriesandthinkththat'sthewayagirlhastoactwhenshe'thinthechorus."

"That'sfunny,"saidJill."Ishouldneverhavethoughtit.Iswallowedthelimousinewhole."

Thecherublookedathercuriously.Jillpuzzledher.Jillhad,indeed,beenthesubjectofmuchprivatespeculationamonghercolleagues.

"Thisisyourfirstshow,ithn'tit?"sheasked.

"Yes."

"Thay,whatareyoudoinginthechorus,anyway?"

"GettingscoldedbyMr.Millermostly,itseemstome.

"ThcoldedbyMr.Miller!Whydidn'tyousay'bawledoutbyJohnny'?

That'thwhatanyoftherethtofuswouldhavesaid."

"Well,I'velivedmostofmylifeinEngland.Youcan'texpectmetotalkthelanguageyet."

"IthoughtyouwereEnglish.You'vegotanacthentlikethefellowwhoplaysthedudeinthithshow.Thay,whydidyouevergetintotheshowbusiness?"

"Well...well,whydidyou?Whydoesanybody?"

"WhydidI?Oh,Ibelongthere.I'maregularBroadwayrat.Iwouldn'tbehappyanywhereelthe.Iwasbornintheshowbusiness.I'vegottwo

thithtersinthetwo-a-dayandabrotherinthtockinCaliforniaanddad'soneofthebethtcomediansontheburlethquewheel.Butanyonecantheeyou'redifferent.There'snoreathonwhyyoushouldbestickingaroundinthechorus."

"Butthereis.I'venomoney,andIcan'tdoanythingtomakeit."

"Honetht?"

"Honest."



"That'stough."Thecherubpondered,herroundeyessearchingJill'sface."Whydon'tyougetmarried?"

Jilllaughed.

"Nobody'saskedme."

"Somebodythoonwill.Atleast,ifhe'sonthelevel,andIthinkheis.Youcangenerallytellbythelookofaguy,and,ifyouaskme,friendPilkington'sgotthelicenceinhithpocketandtheringallorderedandeverything."

"Pilkington!"criedJillaghast.

Sherememberedcertainoccasionsduringrehearsals,when,whilethechorusidledinthebodyofthetheatreandlistenedtotheprincipalsworkingattheirscenes,theelongatedPilkingtonhadsuddenlyappearedinthenextseatandconversedsheepishlyinalowvoice.Couldthisbelove?Ifso,itwasaterriblenuisance.JillhadhadherexperienceinLondonofenamouredyoungmenwho,runningtruetonationalform,declinedtoknowwhentheywerebeaten,andshehadnotenjoyedtheprocessofcoolingtheirardour.Shehadakindheart,anditdistressedhertogivepain.Italsogotonhernervestobedogged

bystrickenmaleswhotriedtocatchhereyeinorderthatshemightobservetheirbrokencondition.Sherecalledonehouse-partyinWaleswhereitrainedallthetimeandshehadbeencoopedupwithavictimwhokeptpoppingoutfromobscurecornersandbeginningallhispleaswiththewords"Isay,youknow...!"ShetrustedthatOtisPilkingtonwasnotproposingtoconductawooingonthoselines.Yethehadcertainlydevelopedasinisterhabitofpoppingoutatthetheatre.Onseveraloccasionshehadstartledherbyappearingathersideasifhehadcomeupoutofatrap.

"Oh,no!"criedJill.

"Oh,yeth!"insistedthecherub,wavingimperiouslytoanapproaching

street-car."Well,Imustbegettingup-town.I'vegotadate.Theeyoulater."

"I'msureyou'remistaken."

"I'mnot."

"Butwhatmakesyouthinkso?"

Thecherubplacedahandontherailofthecar,preparatorytoswingingherselfonboard.

"Well,foronething,"shesaid,"he'thbeenstalkingyoulikean

Indianeversinceweleftthetheatre!Lookbehindyou.Good-bye,honey.Thendmeapieceofthecake!"

Thestreet-carboreheraway.ThelastthatJillsawofherwasawideandamiablegrin.Then,turning,shebeheldthesnake-likeformofOtisPilkingtontoweringatherside.

Mr.Pilkingtonseemednervousbutdetermined.Hisfacewashalfhiddenbythesilkscarfthatmuffledhisthroat,forhewascarefulofhishealthandhadafanciedtendencytobronchialtrouble.Abovethe



scarfapairofmildeyesgazeddownatJillthroughtheirtortoiseshell-rimmedspectacles.ItwashopelessforJilltotrytotellherselfthatthetendergleambehindtheglasswasnotthelovelightinOtisPilkington'seyes.Thetruthwastooobvious.

"Goodevening,MissMariner,"saidMr.Pilkington,hisvoicesoundingmuffledandfarawaythroughthescarf."Areyougoingup-town?"

"No,down-town,"saidJillquickly.

"SoamI,"saidMr.Pilkington.

Jillfeltannoyed,buthelpless.Itisdifficulttobidatactfulfarewelltoamanwhohasstatedhisintentionofgoinginthesamedirectionasyourself.TherewasnothingforitbuttoaccepttheunspokenofferofOtisPilkington'sescort.TheybegantowalkdownBroadwaytogether.

"Isupposeyouaretiredaftertherehearsal?"enquiredMr.Pilkingtoninhisprecisevoice.Healwaysspokeasifhewereweighingeachwordandclippingitoffareel.

"Alittle.Mr.Millerisveryenthusiastic."

"Aboutthepiece?"Hercompanionspokeeagerly.

"No;Imeanthard-working."

"Hashesaidanythingaboutthepiece?"

"Well,no.Yousee,hedoesn'tconfideinusagreatdeal,excepttotellushisopinionofthewaywedothesteps.Idon'tthinkweimpresshimverymuch,tojudgefromwhathesays.Butthegirlssayhealwaystellseverychorusherehearsesthatitistheworstheeverhadanythingtodowith."

"Andthechor--the--er--ladiesoftheensemble?Whatdotheythinkof

thepiece?"

"Well,Idon'tsupposetheyareverygoodjudges,arethey?"saidJilldiplomatically.

"Youmeantheydonotlikeit?"

"Someofthemdon'tseemquitetounderstandit."

Mr.Pilkingtonwassilentforamoment.

"Iambeginningtowondermyselfwhetheritmaynotbealittleovertheheadsofthepublic,"hesaidruefully."Whenitwasfirst

performed...."

"Oh,hasitbeendonebefore?"

"Byamateurs,yes,atthehouseofmyaunt,Mrs.WaddesleighPeagrim,atNewport,lastsummer.InaidoftheArmenianorphans.Itwasextraordinarilywellreceivedonthatoccasion.Wenearlymadeourexpenses.Itwassuchasuccessthat--IfeelIcanconfideinyou.Ishouldnotlikethisrepeatedtoyour--your--theotherladies--itwassuchasuccessthat,againstmyaunt'sadvice,Idecidedtogiveita



Broadwayproduction.Betweenourselves,Iamshoulderingpracticallyalltheexpensesoftheundertaking.Mr.Goblehasnothingtodowiththefinancialarrangementsof'TheRoseofAmerica.'Thoseareentirelyinmyhands.Mr.Goble,inreturnforashareintheprofits,isgivingusthebenefitofhisexperienceasregardsthemanagementandbookingofthepiece.Ihavealwayshadthegreatestfaithinit.TrevisandIwroteitwhenwewereincollegetogether,andallourfriendsthoughtitexceptionallybrilliant.Myaunt,asIsay,wasopposedtotheventure.SheholdstheviewthatIamnotagoodmanofbusiness.Inasense,perhaps,sheisright.Temperamentally,nodoubt,Iammoretheartist.ButIwasdeterminedtoshowthepublicsomethingsuperiortotheso-calledBroadwaysuccesses,whicharesoterriblytrashy.Unfortunately,Iambeginningtowonderwhetheritispossible,withthecrudetypeofactoratone'sdisposalinthiscountry,togiveareallyadequateperformanceofsuchaplayas'TheRoseofAmerica.'Thesepeopleseemtomissthespiritofthepiece,itssubtletopsy-turvyhumour,itsdelicatewhimsicality.Thisafternoon,"Mr.Pilkingtonchoked."ThisafternoonIhappenedtooverheartwooftheprincipals,whowerenotawarethatIwaswithinearshot,discussingtheplay.Oneofthem--thesepeopleexpressthemselvescuriously--oneofthemsaidthathethoughtitaquince:andtheotherdescribeditasapieceofgorgonzolacheese!Thatisnotthespiritthatwinssuccess!"

Jillwasfeelingimmenselyrelieved.Afterall,itseemed,thispooryoungmanmerelywantedsympathy,notromance.Shehadbeenmistaken,shefelt,aboutthatgleaminhiseyes.Itwasnotthelovelight:itwasthelightofpanic.Hewastheauthoroftheplay.Hehadsunkalargesumofmoneyinitsproduction,hehadheardpeoplecriticizingitharshly,andhewassufferingfromwhathercolleaguesinthechoruswouldhavecalledcoldfeet.Itwassuchahumanemotionandheseemedsolikeanovergrownchildpleadingtobecomfortedthatherheartwarmedtohim.Reliefmeltedherdefences.Andwhen,ontheirarrivalatThirty-fourthStreetMr.Pilkingtonsuggestedthatshepartakeofacupofteaathisapartment,whichwasonlyacoupleofblocksawayoffMadisonAvenue,sheacceptedtheinvitationwithouthesitating.

OnthewaytohisapartmentMr.Pilkingtoncontinuedintheminorkey.Hewasagreatdealmorecommunicativethansheherselfwouldhavebeentosuchacomparativestrangerasshewas,butsheknewthatmenwereoftenlikethis.OverinLondon,shehadfrequentlybeenmadetherecipientofthemostintimateconfidencesbyyoungmenwhomshehadmetforthefirsttimethesameeveningatadance.Shehadbeenforcedtobelievethattherewassomethingaboutherpersonalitythatactedonacertaintypeofmanlikethecrackinthedam,settingloosethesurgingfloodoftheireloquence.TothisclassOtisPilkingtonevidentlybelonged,for,oncestarted,hewithheldnothing.

"Itisn'tthatI'mdependentonAuntOliveoranythinglikethat,"he

vouchsafed,ashestirredtheteainhisJapanese-printhungstudio."Butyouknowhowitis.AuntOliveisinapositiontomakeitveryunpleasantformeifIdoanythingfoolish.Atpresent,Ihavereasontoknowthatsheintendstoleavemepracticallyallthatshepossesses.Millions!"saidMr.Pilkington,handingJillacup."Iassureyou,millions!Butthereisahardcommercialstraininher.Itwouldhavethemostprejudicialeffectuponherif;especiallyaftershehadexpresslywarnedmeagainstit,Iweretoloseagreatdealofmoneyoverthisproduction.SheisalwayscomplainingthatIamnotabusinessmanlikemylateuncle.Mr.WaddesleighPeagrimmadea



fortuneinsmokedhams."Mr.PilkingtonlookedattheJapaneseprints,andshudderedslightly."Rightuptothetimeofhisdeathhewasurgingmetogointothebusiness.Icouldnothaveenduredit.But,whenIheardthosetwomendiscussingtheplay,IalmostwishedthatIhaddoneso."

Jillwasnowcompletelydisarmed.Shewouldalmosthavepattedthisunfortunateyoungman'shead,ifshecouldhavereachedit.

"Ishouldn'tworryaboutthepiece,"shesaid."I'vereadsomewhereorheardsomewherethatit'sthesurestsignofasuccesswhenactorsdon'tlikeaplay."

Mr.Pilkingtondrewhischairanimperceptibleinchnearer.

"Howsympatheticyouare!"

Jillperceivedwithchagrinthatshehadbeenmistakenafterall.It _was_thelovelight.Thetortoiseshell-rimmedspectaclessprayeditalloverherlikeacoupleofsearchlights.OtisPilkingtonwaslookingexactlylikeasheep,andsheknewfrompastexperiencethatthatwastheinfalliblesign.Whenyoungmenlookedlikethat,itwastimetogo.

"I'mafraidImustbeoff,"shesaid."Thankyousomuchforgivingmetea.Ishouldn'tbeabitafraidabouttheplay.I'msureit'sgoingtobesplendid.Good-bye."

"Youaren'tgoingalready?"

"Imust.I'mverylateasitis.Ipromised...."

WhateverfictionJillmighthaveinventedtothedetrimentofhersoulwasinterruptedbyaringatthebell.ThestepsofMr.Pilkington'sJapaneseservantcrossingthehallcamefaintlytothesitting-room.

"Mr.Pilkingtonin?"

OtisPilkingtonmotionedpleadinglytoJill.

"Don'tgo!"heurged."It'sonlyamanIknow.HehasprobablycometoremindmethatIamdiningwithhimto-night.Hewon'tstayaminute.Pleasedon'tgo."

Jillsatdown.Shehadnointentionofgoingnow.Thecheeryvoiceatthefrontdoorhadbeenthecheeryvoiceofherlong-lostuncle,MajorChristopherSelby.

CHAPTERXII

UNCLECHRISBORROWSAFLAT

I

UncleChriswalkedbreezilyintotheroom,flickingajauntyglove.HestoppedshortonseeingthatMr.Pilkingtonwasnotalone.



"Oh,Ibegyourpardon!Iunderstood...."HepeeredatJilluncertainly.Mr.Pilkingtonaffectedadim,artisticlighting-systeminhisstudio,andpeoplewhoenteredfromthegreatoutdoorsgenerallyhadtotaketimetoaccustomtheireyestoit."Ifyou'reengaged...."

"Er--allowme....MissMariner....MajorSelby."

"Hullo,UncleChris!"saidJill.

"Godblessmysoul!"ejaculatedthatstartledgentlemanadventurer,andcollapsedontoasetteeasifhislegshadbeenmownfromunderhim.

"I'vebeenlookingforyoualloverNewYork,"saidJill.

Mr.Pilkingtonfoundhimselfunequaltotheintellectualpressureoftheconversation.

"UncleChris?"hesaidwithanoteoffeebleenquiryinhisvoice.

"MajorSelbyismyuncle."

"Areyousure?"saidMr.Pilkington."Imean...."

Notbeingabletoascertain,afteramoment'sself-examination,whathedidmean,herelapsedintosilence.

"Whateverareyoudoinghere?"askedUncleChris.

"I'vebeenhavingteawithMr.Pilkington."

"But...butwhyMr.Pilkington?"

"Well,heinvitedme."

"Buthowdoyouknowhim?"

"Wemetatthetheatre."

"Theatre?"

OtisPilkingtonrecoveredhispowerofspeech.

"MissMarinerisrehearsingwithalittleplayinwhichIaminterested,"heexplained.

UncleChrishalfrosefromthesettee.Heblinkedtwiceinrapidsuccession.Jillhadneverseenhimsoshakenfromhiscustomary

poise.

"Don'ttellmeyouhavegoneonthestage,Jill!"

"Ihave.I'minthechorus...."

"Ensemble,"correctedMr.Pilkingtonsoftly.

"I'mintheensembleofapiececalled'TheRoseofAmerica.'We'vebeenrehearsingforeversolong."



UncleChrisdigestedthisinformationinsilenceforamomentHepulledathisshortmoustache.

"Why,ofcourse!"hesaidatlength.Jill,whoknewhimsowell,couldtellbytherestoredringofcheerinessinhistonethathewashimselfagain.Hehaddealtwiththissituationinhismindandwaspreparedtocopewithit.Thesurmisewasconfirmedthenextinstantwhenheroseandstationedhimselfinfrontofthefire.Mr.Pilkingtondetestedsteam-heatandhadscouredthecitytillhehadfoundastudioapartmentwithanopenfireplace.UncleChrisspreadhislegsandexpandedhischest."Ofcourse,"hesaid."Iremembernowthatyoutoldmeinyourletterthatyouwerethinkingofgoingonthestage.Myniece,"explainedUncleChristotheattentiveMr.Pilkington,"cameoverfromEnglandonalaterboat.Iwasnotexpectingherforsomeweeks.Hencemysurpriseatmeetingherhere.Ofcourse.Youtoldmethatyouintendedtogoonthestage,andIstronglyrecommendedyoutobeginatthebottomoftheladderandlearntheground-workthoroughlybeforeyouattemptedhigherflights."

"Oh,thatwasit?"saidMr.Pilkington.Hehadbeenwondering.

"Thereisnofinertraining,"resumedUncleChris,completelyathiseaseoncemore,"thanthechorus.Howmanyofthebest-knownactresses

inAmericabeganinthatway!Dozens.Dozens.IfIweregivingadvicetoanyyounggirlwiththeatricalaspirations,Ishouldsay'Begininthechorus!'Ontheotherhand,"heproceeded,turningtoMr.Pilkington,"IthinkitwouldbejustaswellifyouwouldnotmentionthefactofmyniecebeinginthatpositiontoMrs.WaddesleighPeagrim.Shemightnotunderstand."

"Exactly,"assentedMr.Pilkington.

"Theterm'chorus'...."

"Idislikeitintenselymyself."

"Itsuggests...."

"Precisely."

UncleChrisinflatedhischestagain,wellsatisfied.

"Capital!"hesaid."Well,Ionlydroppedintoremindyou,myboy,thatyouandyourauntarediningwithmeto-night.Iwasafraidabusymanlikeyoumightforget."

"Iwaslookingforwardtoit,"saidMr.Pilkington,charmedatthedescription.

"Youremembertheaddress?NineEastForty-firstStreet.Ihavemoved,youremember."

"SothatwaswhyIcouldn'tfindyouattheotherplace,"saidJill."Themanatthedoorsaidhehadneverheardofyou."

"Stupididiot!"saidUncleChristestily."TheseNewYorkhall-portersarerecruitedentirelyfromhomesforthefeeble-minded.Isupposehewasanewman.Well,Pilkington,myboy,Ishallexpectyouatseveno'clock.Good-byetillthen.Come,Jill."



"Good-bye,Mr.Pilkington,"saidJill.

"Good-byeforthepresent,MissMariner,"saidMr.Pilkington,bendingdowntotakeherhand.Thetortoise-shellspectaclesshotalastsoftbeamather.

Asthefrontdoorclosedbehindthem,UncleChrisheavedasighofrelief.

"Whew!IthinkIhandledthatlittlecontretempswithdiplomacy!Acertainamountofdiplomacy,Ithink!"

"Ifyoumean,"saidJillseverely,"thatyoutoldsomedisgracefulfibs...."

"Fibs,mydear--orshallwesay,artisticmouldingsoftheunshapelyclayoftruth--arethe...howshallIputit?...Well,anyway,theycomeindashedhandy.ItwouldneverhavedoneforMrs.Peagrimtohavefoundoutthatyouwereinthechorus.Ifshediscoveredthatmyniecewasinthechorus,shewouldinfalliblysuspectmeofbeinganadventurer.Andwhile,"saidUncleChrismeditatively,"ofcourseI _am_,itisnicetohaveone'slittlesecrets.Thegoodladyhashadarooteddistasteforgirlsinthatperfectlyhonourablebutmaligned

professioneversinceourlongyoungfriendbacktherewassuedforbreachofpromisebyamemberofatouringcompanyinhissecondyearatcollege.Weallhaveourprejudices.Thatishers.However,Ithink,wemayrelyonourfriendtosaynothingaboutthematter....Butwhydidyoudoit?Mydearchild,whateverinducedyoutotakesuchastep?"

Jilllaughed.

"That'spracticallywhatMr.Millersaidtomewhenwewererehearsingoneofthedancesthisafternoon,onlyheputitdifferently."Shelinkedherarminhis."WhatelsecouldIdo?IwasaloneinNewYorkwiththeremainsofthattwentydollarsyousentmeandnomorein

sight."

"Butwhydidn'tyoustaydownatBrookportwithyourUncleElmer?"

"HaveyoueverseenmyUncleElmer?"

"No.Curiouslyenough,Ineverhave."

"Ifyouhad,youwouldn'task.Brookport!Ugh!Ileftwhentheytriedtogetmetounderstudythehiredman,whohadresigned."

"What!"

"Yes,theygottiredofsupportingmeinthestatetowhichIwasaccustomed--Idon'tblamethem!--sotheybegantofindwaysofmakingmeusefulaboutthehome.Ididn'tmindreadingtoAuntJulia,andIcouldjuststandtakingTibbyforwalks.But,whenitcametoshovelingsnow,Isoftlyandsilentlyvanishedaway."

"ButIcan'tunderstandallthis.Isuggestedtoyouruncle--diplomatically--thatyouhadlargeprivatemeans."

"Iknowyoudid.Andhespentallhistimeshowingmeoverhousesand



tellingmeIcouldhavethemforahundredthousanddollarscashdown."Jillbubbled."YoushouldhaveseenhisfacewhenItoldhimthattwentydollarswasallIhadintheworld!"

"Youdidn'ttellhimthat!"

"Idid."

UncleChrisshookhishead,likeanindulgentfatherdisappointedinafavouritechild.

"You'readeargirl,Jill,butreallyyoudoseemtotallylackingin...howshallIputit?--finesse.Yourmotherwasjustthesame.Asweetwoman,butwithnodiplomacy,nonotionof_handling_asituation.Irememberherasachildgivingmeawayhopelesslyononeoccasionafterwehadbeenatthejam-cupboard.Shedidnotmeananyharm,butshewasconstitutionallyincapableofatactfulnegativeattherighttime."UncleChrisbroodedforamomentonthepast."Oh,well,it'saveryfinetrait,nodoubt,thoughinconvenient.Idon'tblameyouforleavingBrookportifyouweren'thappythere.ButIwishyouhadconsultedmebeforegoingonthestage."

"ShallIstrikethisman?"askedJilloftheworldatlarge."HowcouldIconsultyou?Mydarling,preciousuncle,don'tyourealize

thatyouhadvanishedintothinair,leavingmepenniless?Ihadtodosomething.And,nowthatweareonthesubject,perhapsyouwillexplainyourmovements.WhydidyouwritetomefromthatplaceonFifty-seventhStreetifyouweren'tthere?"

UncleChrisclearedhisthroat.

"Inasense...whenIwrote...I_was_there."

"Isupposethatmeanssomething,butit'sbeyondme.I'mnotnearlyasintelligentasyouthink,UncleChris,soyou'llhavetoexplain."

"Well,itwasthisway,mydear.Iwasinapeculiarpositionyoumust

remember.Ihadmadeanumberofwealthyfriendsontheboatanditispossiblethat--unwittingly--IgavethemtheimpressionthatIwasascomfortablyoffasthemselves.Atanyrate,thatistheimpressiontheygathered,andithardlyseemedexpedienttocorrectit.Foritisadeplorabletraitinthecharacterofthemajorityofrichpeoplethattheyonly--er--expand--theyonlyshowthebestandmostcompanionablesideofthemselvestothosewhomtheyimaginetobeaswealthyastheyare.Well,ofcourse,whileonewasontheboat,thefactthatIwassailingunderwhatapuristmighthavetermedfalsecoloursdidnotmatter.Theproblemwashowtokeepupthe--er--innocentdeceptionafterwehadreachedNewYork.AwomanlikeMrs.WaddesleighPeagrim--aghastlycreature,mydear,allfrontteethandexuberance,butricherthantheSub-Treasury--looksaskanceataman,howeveragreeable,ifheendeavourstocementa

friendshipbegunonboardshipfromacheapboarding-houseonAmsterdamAvenue.ItwasimperativethatIshouldfindsomethinginthenatureofwhatImightcallasuitablebaseofoperations.Fortuneplayedintomyhands.OneofthefirstmenImetinNewYorkwasanoldsoldier-servantofmine,towhomIhadbeenabletodosomekindnessesintheolddays.Infact--itshowshowbreadcastuponthewatersreturnstousaftermanydays--itwaswiththeassistanceofasmallloanfrommethathewasenabledtoemigratetoAmerica.Well,Imetthisman,and,afterashortconversation,herevealedthefactthathewasthehall-porteratthatapartment-housewhichyouvisited,theoneonFifty-SeventhStreet.At



thistimeoftheyear,Iknew,manywealthypeoplegosouth,toFloridaandtheCarolinas,anditoccurredtomethattheremightbeavacantapartmentinhisbuilding.Therewas.Itookit."

"Buthowonearthcouldyouaffordtopayforanapartmentinaplacelikethat?"

UncleChriscoughed.

"Ididn'tsayIpaidforit.IsaidItookit.Thatis,asonemightsay,thepointofmystory.Myoldfriend,gratefulforfavoursreceivedandwishingtodomeagoodturn,consentedtobecomemyaccompliceinanother--er--innocentdeception.Igavemyfriendstheaddressandtelephonenumberoftheapartment-house,livingthewhilemyselfinsurroundingsofasomewhathumblerandlessexpensivecharacter.Icalledeverymorningforletters.Ifanybodyrangmeuponthetelephone,theadmirablemanansweredinthecapacityofmyservant,tookamessage,andrelayeditontomeatmyboarding-house.Ifanybodycalled,hemerelysaidthatIwasout.Therewasn'taflawinthewholescheme,mydear,anditschiefmeritwasitsbeautifulsimplicity."

"Thenwhatmadeyougiveitup?Conscience?"

"Consciencenevermademegiveup_anything_,"saidUncleChrisfirmly."No,therewereahundredchancestooneagainstanythinggoingwrong,anditwasthehundredththathappened.WhenyouhavebeeninNewYorklonger,youwillrealizethatonepeculiarityoftheplaceisthattheworking-classesareinaconstantstateofflux.OnMondayyoumeetaplumber.Ah!yousay,aplumber!Capital!OnthefollowingThursdayyoumeethimagain,andheisacar-conductor.Nextweekhewillbesquirtingsodainadrug-store.It'sthefaultofthesedashedmagazines,withtheiradvertisementsofcorrespondencecourses--AreYouEarningAllYouShould?--WriteToUsandLearnChicken-FarmingByMail....Itputswrongideasintothefellows'heads.Itunsettlesthem.Itwassointhiscase.Everythingwasgoingswimmingly,whenmymansuddenlyconceivedtheideathatdestinyhad

intendedhimforachauffeur-gardener,andhethrewuphisposition!"

"Leavingyouhomeless!"

"Asyousay,homeless--temporarily.But,fortunately--Ihavebeenamazinglyluckyallthrough;itreallydoesseemasifyoucannotkeepagoodmandown--fortunatelymyfriendhadafriendwhowasjanitorataplaceonEastForty-firstStreet,andbyamiracleoflucktheonlyapartmentinthebuildingwasempty.Itisanoffice-building,but,likesomeoftheseplaces,ithasonesmallbachelor'sapartmentonthetopfloor."

"Andyouarethesmallbachelor?"

"Precisely.Myfriendexplainedmatterstohisfriend--afewfinancialdetailsweresatisfactorilyarranged--andhereIam,perfectlyhappywiththecosiestlittleplaceintheworld,rentfree.IamevenbetteroffthanIwasbefore,asamatteroffact,formynewally'swifeisanexcellentcook,andIhavebeenenabledtogiveoneortwoverypleasantdinnersatmynewhome.Itlendsverisimilitudetothethingifyoucanentertainalittle.Ifyouareneverinwhenpeoplecall,theybegintowonder.IamgivingdinnertoyourfriendPilkingtonandMrs.Peagrimthereto-night.Homey,delightful,and



infinitelycheaperthanarestaurant."

"Andwhatwillyoudowhentherealowneroftheplacewalksininthemiddleofdinner?"

"Outofthequestion.ThejanitorinformsmethatheleftforEnglandsomeweeksago,intendingtomakeastayofseveralmonths."

"Well,youcertainlythinkofeverything."

"WhateversuccessImayhaveachieved,"repliedUncleChris,withthedignityofaCaptainofIndustryconfidinginaninterviewer,"Iattributetoalwaysthinkingofeverything."

Jillgurgledwithlaughter.Therewasthataboutherunclewhichalwaysactedonhermoralsenselikeanopiate,lullingittosleepandpreventingitfromrisingupandbecomingcritical.Ifhehadstolenawatchandchain,hewouldsomehowhavesucceededinconvincingherthathehadactedforthebestunderthedictatesofabenevolentaltruism.

"Whatsuccess_have_youachieved?"sheasked,interested."Whenyouleftme,youwereonyourwaytofindafortune.Didyoufindit?"

"Ihavenotactuallyplacedmyhandsonityet,"admittedUncleChris."Butitishoveringintheairallroundme.Icanhearthebeatingofthewingsofthedollar-billsastheyfluttertoandfro,almostwithinreach.SoonerorlaterIshallgrabthem.Ineverforget,mydear,thatIhaveataskbeforeme--torestoretoyouthemoneyofwhichIdeprivedyou.Someday--besure--Ishalldoit.Somedayyouwillreceivealetterfromme,containingalargesum--fivethousand--tenthousand--twentythousand--whateveritmaybe,withthesimplewords'FirstInstalment.'"Herepeatedthephrase,asifitpleasedhim."FirstInstalment!"

Jillhuggedhisarm.Shewasinthemoodinwhichsheusedtolistentohimagesagotellingherfairystories.

"Goon!"shecried."Goon!It'swonderful!OnceuponatimeUncleChriswaswalkingalongFifthAvenue,whenhehappenedtomeetapooroldwomangatheringsticksforfirewood.Shelookedsooldandtiredthathewassorryforher,sohegavehertencentswhichhehadborrowedfromthejanitor,andsuddenlysheturnedintoabeautifulgirlandsaid'Iamafairy!InreturnforyourkindnessIgrantyouthreewishes!'AndUncleChristhoughtforamoment,andsaid,'IwanttwentythousanddollarstosendtoJill!'Andthefairysaid,'Itshallbeattendedto.Andthenextarticle?'"

"Itisallverywelltojoke,"protestedUncleChris,painedbythisflippancy,"butletmetellyouthatIshallnotrequiremagic

assistancetobecomearichman.DoyourealizethatathouseslikeMrs.WaddesleighPeagrim'sIammeetingmenallthetimewhohaveonlytosayonelittlewordtomakemeamillionaire?Theyarefat,greymenwithfishyeyesandlargewaistcoats,andtheysitsmokingcigarsandbroodingonwhattheyaregoingtodotothemarketnextday.IfIwereamind-readerIcouldhavemadeadozenfortunesbynow.Isatoppositethatoldpirate,BruceBishop,foroveranhourtheverydaybeforeheandhisgangsentConsolidatedPea-Nutsdowntwentypoints!IfIhadknownwhatwasinthewind,IdoubtifIcouldhaverestrainedmyselffromchokinghisintentionsoutofthefellow.Well,



whatIamtryingtopointoutisthatoneofthesedaysoneoftheseoldoysterswillhaveafleetingmomentofhumanpityanddisgorgesometiponwhichIcanact.ItisthatreflectionthatkeepsmesoconstantlyatMrs.Peagrim'shouse."UncleChrisshiveredslightly."Afearsomewoman,mydear!Weighsahundredandeightypoundsandasskittishasayounglambinspringtime!Shemakesmedancewithher!"UncleChris'lipsquiveredinaspasmofpain,andhewassilentforamoment."ThankHeavenIwasonceafootballer!"hesaidreverently.

"Butwhatdoyouliveon?"askedJill."IknowyouaregoingtobeamillionairenextTuesdayweek,buthowareyougettingalonginthemeantime?"

UncleChriscoughed.

"Well,asregardsactuallivingexpenses,Ihavemanagedbyashrewdbusinessstroketoacquireasmallbutsufficientincome.Iliveinaboarding-house--true--butIcontrivetokeepthewolfawayfromitsdoor--which,bytheby,badlyneedsalickofpaint.HaveyoueverheardofNervino?"

"Idon'tthinkso.Itsoundslikeapatentmedicine."

"It_is_apatentmedicine."UncleChrisstoppedandlookedanxiously

ather."Jill,you'relookingpale,mydear."

"AmI?Wehadratheratiringrehearsal."

"Areyousure,"saidUncleChrisseriously,"thatitisonlythat?AreyousurethatyourvitalityhasnotbecomegenerallyloweredbythefiercerushofMetropolitanlife?Areyouawareofthethingsthatcanhappentoyouifyouallowtheredcorpusclesofyourbloodtobecomedevitalised?Ihadafriend...."

"Stop!You'rescaringmetodeath!"

UncleChrisgavehismoustacheasatisfiedtwirl.

"JustwhatImeanttodo,mydear.And,whenIhadscaredyousufficiently--youwouldn'twaitforthestoryofmyconsumptivefriend.Pity!It'soneofmybest!--IshouldhavementionedthatIhadbeenhavingmuchthesametroublemyselfuntillately,buttheotherdayIhappenedtotryNervino,thegreatspecific....Iwasgivingyouanillustrationofmyselfinaction,mydear.IwenttotheseNervinopeople--happenedtoseeoneoftheirpostersandgottheideainaflash--Iwenttothemandsaid,'HereamI,apresentablemanofpersuasivemannersandalargeacquaintanceamongtheleadersofNewYorkSociety.WhatwoulditbeworthtoyoutohavemehintfromtimetotimeatdinnerpartiesandsoforththatNervinoistherichman'spanacea?'Iputthethinglucidlytothem.Isaid,'Nodoubtyouhave

athousandagentsinthecity,buthaveyouonewhodoesnotlooklikeanagentandwon'ttalklikeanagent?Haveyouonewhoisinsidethehousesofthewealthy,attheirverydinner-tables,insteadofbeingonthefrontstep,tryingtoholdthedooropenwithhisfoot?Thatisthepointyouhavetoconsider.'Theysawtheideaatonce.Wearrangedterms--notasgenerousasIcouldwish,perhaps,butquiteample.Ireceiveatolerablysatisfactorysalaryeachweek,andinreturnIspreadthegoodwordaboutNervinointhegildedpalacesoftherich.Thosearethepeopletogofor,Jill.Theyhavebeensobusywrenchingmoneyawayfromthewidowandtheorphanthatthey



haven'thadtimetolookaftertheirhealth.Youcatchoneofthemafterdinner,justasheiswonderingifhewasreallywiseintakingtwohelpingsofthelobsterNewburg,andheisclayinyourhands.IdrawmychairuptohisandbecomesympatheticandsaythatIhadpreciselythesametroublemyselfuntilrecently,andmentionadearoldfriendofminewhodiedofindigestion,andgraduallyleadtheconversationroundtoNervino.Idon'tforceitonthem.Idon'tevenaskthem,totryit.Imerelypointtomyself,rosywithhealth,andsaythatIoweeverythingtoit,andthethingisdone.Theythankmeprofuselyandscribblethenamedownontheirshirt-cuffs.Andthereyouare!Idon'tsuppose,"saidUncleChrisphilosophically,"thatthestuffcandothemanyactualharm."

TheyhadcometothecornerofForty-firstStreet.UncleChrisfeltinhispocketandproducedakey.

"Ifyouwanttogoandtakealookatmylittlenest,youcanletyourselfin.It'sonthetwenty-secondfloor.Don'tfailtogooutontheroofandlookattheview.It'sworthseeing.Itwillgiveyousomeideaofthesizeofthecity.Awonderful,amazingcity,mydear,fullofpeoplewhoneedNervino.Ishallgoonanddropinattheclubforhalfanhour.Theyhavegivenmeafortnight'scardattheAvenue.Capitalplace.Here'sthekey."

JillturneddownForty-firstStreet,andcametoamammothstructureofsteelandstonewhichdwarfedthemodestbrownhousesbesideitintonothingness.Itwascurioustothinkofaprivateflatnestlingonthesummitofthismountain.Shewentin,andtheliftshothergiddilyupwardstothetwenty-secondfloor.Shefoundherselffacingashortflightofstonesteps,endinginadoor.Shemountedthesteps,triedthekey,and,turningit,enteredahall-way.Proceedingdownthepassage,shereachedasitting-room.

Itwasasmallroom,butfurnishedwithasolidcomfortwhichsoothedher.ForthefirsttimesinceshehadarrivedinNewYork,shehadthesenseofbeingmilesawayfromthenoiseandbustleofthecity.Therewasacompleteandrestfulsilence.Shewasaloneinanestofbooks

anddeepchairs,onwhichalargegrandfather-clocklookeddownwiththatwide-facedbenevolencepeculiartoitskind.Sopeacefulwasthiseyrie,perchedhighupabovetheclamourandrattleofcivilization,thateverynerveinherbodyseemedtorelaxinadeliciouscontent.ItwaslikebeinginPeterPan'shouseinthetree-tops.

II

Jillpossessedinanunusualdegreethatinstinctforexplorationwhichisimplantedinmostofus.Shewasfranklyinquisitive,andcouldneverbetwominutesinastrangeroomwithoutmakingatourof

itandexaminingitsbooks,pictures,andphotographs.Almostatonceshebegantoprowl.

Themantelpiecewasherfirstobjective.Shealwaysmadeforotherpeople'smantelpieces,forthere,morethananywhereelse,isthecharacterofaproprietorrevealed.Thismantelpiecewassprinkledwithphotographs,large,small,framedandunframed.Inthecentreofit,standingallaloneandlookingcuriouslyoutofplaceamongitslargeneighbours,wasalittlesnapshot.



Itwasdarkbythemantelpiece.Jilltookthephotographtothewindow,wherethefadinglightcouldfallonit.Why,shecouldnothavesaid,butthethinginterestedher.Therewasmysteryaboutit.Itseemedinitselfsoinsignificanttohavetheplaceofhonour.

Thesnapshothadevidentlybeentakenbyanamateur,butitwasoneofthoseluckysuccesseswhichhappenatrareintervalstoamateurphotographerstoencouragethemtoproceedwiththeirhobby.Itshowedasmallgirlinawhitedresscutshortaboveslim,blacklegs,standingintheporchofanoldhouse,onehandswingingasun-bonnet,theotherpattinganIrishterrierwhichhadplanteditsfrontpawsagainstherwaistandwaslookingupintoherfacewiththatgravemelancholycharacteristicofIrishterriers.Thesunlightwasevidentlystrong,forthechild'sfacewaspuckeredinatwistedthoughengaginggrin.Jill'sfirstthoughtwas"Whatajollykid!"Andthen,withaleapingoftheheartthatseemedtosendsomethingbigandchokingintoherthroat,shesawthatitwasaphotographofherself.

Withaswoopingboundmemoryracedbackovertheyears.Shecouldfeelthehotsunonherface,heartheanxiousvoiceofFreddieRooke--thenfourteenandforthefirsttimetheownerofacamera--imploringhertostandjustlikethatbecausehewouldn'tbehalfaminuteonlysomerottenthinghadstuckorsomething.Thenthesharpclick,the

doubtfulassuranceofFreddiethathethoughtitwasallrightifhehadn'tforgottentoshiftthefilm(inwhichcaseshemightexpecttoappearincombinationwithacowwhichhehadsnappedonhiswaytothehouse),andtherelieveddisappearanceofPat,theterrier,whodidn'tunderstandphotography.Howmanyyearsagohadthatbeen?Shecouldnotremember.ButFreddiehadgrowntolong-leggedmanhood,shetoanageofdiscretionandfull-lengthfrocks,Pathaddied,theoldhousewasinhabitedbystrangers...andherewasthesilentrecordofthatsun-litafternoon,threethousandmilesawayfromtheEnglishgardeninwhichithadcomeintoexistence.

Theshadowsdeepened.Thetopofthegreatbuildingswayedgently,causingthependulumofthegrandfather-clocktoknockagainstthe

sidesofitswoodencase.Jillstarted.Thenoise,comingafterthedeadsilence,frightenedhertillsherealizedwhatitwas.Shehadanervousfeelingofnotbeingalone.Itwasasiftheshadowsheldgoblinsthatpeeredoutattheintruder.Shedartedtothemantelpieceandreplacedthephotograph.Shefeltlikesomeheroineofafairy-storymeddlingwiththecontentsofthegiant'scastle.Soontherewouldcomethesoundofagreatfootstepthud--thud....

_Thud._

Jill'sheartgaveanotherleap.Shewasperfectlysureshehadheardasound.Ithadbeenjustlikethebangingofadoor.Shebracedherself,listening,everymuscletense.Andthen,cleavingthe

stillness,cameavoicefromdownthepassage--

"JustseethemPullmanporters,DolledupwithscentedwatersBoughtwiththeirdimesandquarters!See,heretheycome!Heretheycome!"

ForaninstantJillcouldnothavesaidwhethershewasrelievedormorefrightenedthanever.True,thatnumbingsenseoftheuncannyhadceasedtogripher,forReasontoldherthatspectresdonotsing



rag-timesongs.Ontheotherhand,ownersofapartmentsdo,andshewouldalmostasreadilyhavefacedaspectreastheownerofthisapartment.Dizzily,shewonderedhowintheworldshewastoexplainherpresence.Supposeheturnedouttobesomeawful-cholericpersonwhowouldlistentonoexplanations.

"Oh,seethosestarched-upcollars!Harkhowtheircaptainhollers'Keeptime!Keeptime!'It'sworthathousanddollarsToseethosetip-collectors...."

Verynearnow.Almostatthedoor.

"Thoseupper-berthinspectors,ThosePullmanportersonparade!"

Adim,shapelessfigureintheblackofthedoorway.Thescrabblingoffingersonthewall.

"Whereareyou,dammit?"saidthevoice,apparentlyaddressingtheelectric-lightswitch.

Jillshrankback,desperatefingerspressingdeepintothebackofan

arm-chair.Lightflashedfromthewallatherside.Andthere,inthedoorway,stoodWallyMasoninhisshirt-sleeves.

CHAPTERXIII

THEAMBASSADORARRIVES

I

Inthesedaysofrapidmovement,whenexistencehasbecomelittlemorethanaseriesofshocksofvaryingintensity,astonishmentistheshortest-livedofalltheemotions.TherewasaninstantinwhichJilllookedatWallyandWallyatJillwiththeeyeoftotalamazement,andthen,almostsimultaneously,eachbegan--theprocesswassubconscious--toregardthismeetingnotasanisolatedandinexplicableevent,butassomethingresultingfromaperfectlylogicalchainofcircumstances.

"Hullo!"saidWally.

"Hullo!"saidJill.

Itwasnotaveryexaltednoteonwhichtopitchtheconversation,butithadthemeritofgivingeachofthemalittlemoretimetocollectthemselves.

"Thisis....Iwasn'texpectingyou!"saidWally.

"Iwasn'texpecting_you_!"saidJill.

Therewasanotherpause,inwhichWally,apparentlyexaminingherlastwordsandturningthemoverinhismind,foundthattheydidnot



squarewithhispreconceivedtheories.

"Youweren'texpectingme?"

"Icertainlywasnot!"

"But...butyouknewIlivedhere?"

Jillshookherhead.Wallyreflectedforaninstant,andthenputhisfinger,withahappyinspiration,ontheveryheartofthemystery.

"Thenhowonearthdidyougethere?"

Hewasgladhehadaskedthat.Thesenseofunrealitywhichhadcometohiminthefirststartlingmomentofseeingherandvanishedundertheinfluenceoflogichadreturnedasstrongasever.Ifshedidnotknowhelivedinthisplace,howinthenameofeverythinguncannyhadshefoundherwayhere?Amomentarywonderastowhetherallthiswasnotmixedupwithtelepathyandmentalsuggestionandallthatsortofthingcametohim.CertainlyhehadbeenthinkingofherallthetimesincetheirpartingattheSavoyHotelthatnightthreeweeksandmoreback....No,thatwasabsurd.Theremustbesomesounderreasonforherpresence.Hewaitedforhertogiveit.

Jillforthemomentfeltphysicallyincapableofgivingit.Sheshrankfromtheinterminableexplanationwhichconfrontedherasawearytravellershrinksfromadusty,far-stretchingdesert.Shesimplycouldnotgointoallthatnow.Sosheansweredwithaquestion.

"WhendidyoulandinNewYork?"

"Thisafternoon.Weweresupposedtodockthismorning,buttheboatwaslate."Wallyperceivedthathewasbeingpushedawayfromthemainpoint,andjostledhiswaybacktoit."Butwhatareyoudoinghere?"

"It'ssuchalongstory."

Hervoicewasplaintive.RemorsesmoteWally.Itoccurredtohimthathehadnotbeensufficientlysympathetic.Notawordhadhesaidonthesubjectofherchangeoffortunes.Hehadjuststoodandgapedandaskedquestions.Afterall,whatthedevildiditmatterhowshecametobehere?HehadanticipatedalongandtedioussearchforherthroughthelabyrinthofNewYork,andhereFatehadbroughthertohisverydoor,andallhecoulddowastoaskwhy,insteadofbeingthankful.Heperceivedthathewasnotmuchofafellow.

"Nevermind,"hesaid."Youcantellmewhenyoufeellikeit."Helookedathereagerly.Timeseemedtohavewipedawaythatlittlemisunderstandingundertheburdenofwhichtheyhadparted."It'stoowonderfulfindingyoulikethis!"Hehesitated."Iheard

about--everything,"hesaidawkwardly.

"My--"Jillhesitatedtoo."Mysmash?"

"Yes.FreddieRooketoldme.Iwasterriblysorry."

"Thankyou,"saidJill.

Therewasapause.Theywereboththinkingofthatotherdisasterwhichhadhappened.ThepresenceofDerekUnderhillseemedtostand



likeanunseenphantombetweenthem.FinallyWallyspokeatrandom,choosingthefirstwordsthatcameintohisheadinhisdesiretobreakthesilence.

"Jollyplace,this,isn'tit?"

Jillperceivedthatanopeningforthosetediousexplanationshadbeengrantedher.

"UncleChristhinksso,"shesaiddemurely.

Wallylookedpuzzled.

"UncleChris?Oh,youruncle?"

"Yes."

"But--hehasneverbeenhere."

"Oh,yes.He'sgivingadinner-partyhereto-night!"

"He's...whatdidyousay?"

"It'sallright.Ionlybeganattheendofthestoryinsteadofthe

beginning.I'lltellyouthewholething.Andthen...thenIsupposeyouwillbeterriblyangryandmakeafuss."

"I'mnotmuchofalad,asFreddieRookewouldsay,formakingfusses.AndIcan'timaginebeingterriblyangrywithyou."

"Well,I'llriskit.Though,ifIwasn'tabravegirl,IshouldleaveUncleChristoexplainforhimselfandsimplyrunaway."

"Anythingisbetterthanthat.It'samiraclemeetingyoulikethis,andIdon'twanttobedeprivedofthefruitsofit.Tellmeanything,butdon'tgo."

"You'llbefurious."

"Notwithyou."

"Ishouldhopenotwithme.I'vedonenothing.Iamtheinnocentheroine.ButI'mafraidyouwillbeveryangrywithUncleChris."

"Ifhe'syouruncle,thatpasseshim.Besides,heoncelickedthestuffingoutofmewithawhangee.Thatformsabond.Tellmeall."

Jillconsidered.Shehadpromisedtobeginatthebeginning,butitwasdifficulttoknowwhatwasthebeginning.

"HaveyoueverheardofCaptainKidd?"sheaskedatlength.

"You'rewanderingfromthepoint,aren'tyou?"

"No,I'mnot._Have_youheardofCaptainKidd?"

"Thepirate?Ofcourse."

"Well,UncleChrisishisdirectlinealdescendant.Thatreallyexplainsthewholething."



Wallylookedatherenquiringly.

"Couldyoumakeitalittleeasier?"hesaid.

"Icantellyoueverythinginhalfadozenwords,ifyoulike.Butitwillsoundawfullyabrupt."

"Goahead."

"UncleChrishasstolenyourapartment."

Wallynoddedslowly.

"Isee.Stolenmyapartment."

"Ofcourseyoucan'tpossiblyunderstand.Ishallhavetotellyouthewholething,afterall."

WallylistenedwithflatteringattentionasshebegantheepicofMajorChristopherSelby'sdoingsinNewYork.Whateverhisemotions,hecertainlywasnotbored.

"Sothat'showitallhappened,"concludedJill.

ForamomentWallysaidnothing.Heseemedtobedigestingwhathehadheard.

"Isee,"hesaidatlast."It'savariantofthoseadvertisementstheyprintinthemagazines.'Whypayrent?Ownsomebodyelse'shome!'"

"That_does_rathersumitup,"saidJill.

Wallyburstintoaroaroflaughter.

"He'sacorker!"

Jillwasimmenselyrelieved.Forallhercourageousbearing,shehadnotrelishedthetaskofbreakingthenewstoWally.Sheknewthathehadasenseofhumour,butamanmayhaveasenseofhumourandyetnotseeanythingamusinginhavinghishomestoleninhisabsence.

"I'msogladyou'renotangry."

"Ofcoursenot."

"Mostmenwouldbe."

"Mostmenarechumps."

"It'ssowonderfulthatithappenedtobeyou.Supposeithadbeenanutterstranger!WhatcouldIhavedone?"

"Itwouldhavebeenthesamething.Youwouldhavewonhimoverintwominutes.Nobodycouldresistyou."

"That'sverysweetofyou."

"Ican'thelptellingthetruth.Washingtonwasjustthesame."



"Thenyoudon'tmindUncleChrisgivinghisdinner-partyhereto-night?"

"Hehasmyblessing."

"Youreallyareanangel,"saidJillgratefully."Fromwhathesaid,Ithinkhelooksonitasratheranimportantfunction.Hehasinvitedaveryrichwoman,whohasbeenshowinghimalotofhospitality--aMrs.Peagrim...."

"Mrs.WaddesleighPeagrim?"

"Yes?Why,doyouknowher?"

"Quitewell.ShegoesinagooddealforbeingBohemianandknowingpeoplewhowriteandpaintandactandsoon.Thatremindsme.IgaveFreddieRookealetterofintroductiontoher."

"FreddieRooke!"

"Yes.Hesuddenlymadeuphismindtocomeover.Hecametomeforadviceaboutthejourney.HesailedacoupleofdaysbeforeIdid.Isupposehe'ssomewhereinNewYorkbynow,unlesshewasgoingontoFlorida.Hedidn'ttellmewhathisplanswere."

Jillwasconsciousofasuddendepression.MuchasshelikedFreddie,hebelongedtoachapterinherlifewhichwasclosedandwhichshewastryingherhardesttoforget.ItwasimpossibletothinkofFreddiewithoutthinkingofDerek,andtothinkofDerekwasliketouchinganexposednerve.ThenewsthatFreddiewasinNewYorkshockedher.NewYorkhadalreadyshownitselfacityofchanceencounters.CouldsheavoidmeetingFreddie?

SheknewFreddiesowell.Therewasnotadearerorabetter-heartedyouthintheworld,buthehadnotthatfinesensibilitywhichpilotsamanthroughtheawkwardnessesoflife.Hewasablunderer.Instincttoldherthat,ifshemetFreddie,hewouldtalkofDerek,and,if

thinkingofDerekwastouchinganexposednerve,talkingofhimwouldbelikepressingonthatnervewithaheavyhand.Sheshivered.

Wallywasobservant.

"There'snoneedtomeethimifyoudon'twantto,"hesaid.

"No,"saidJilldoubtfully.

"NewYork'salargeplace.Bytheway,"hewenton,"toreturnoncemoretotheinterestingsubjectofmylodger,doesyourunclesleephereatnights,doyouknow?"

Jilllookedathimgratefully.Hewasnoblunderer.HerdesiretoavoidFreddieRookewas,hegavehertacitlytounderstand,herbusiness,andhedidnotproposetointrudeonit.Shelikedhimfordismissingthesubjectsoeasily.

"No,Ithinkhetoldmehedoesn't."

"Well,that'ssomething,isn'tit!Icallthatdarnedniceofhim!IwonderifIcoulddropbackheresomewhereabouteleveno'clock.Arethefestivitieslikelytobeoverbythen?IfIknowMrs.Peagrim,she



willinsistongoingofftooneofthehotelstodancedirectlyafterdinner.She'saconfirmedtrotter."

"Idon'tknowhowtoapologize,"beganJillremorsefully.

"Pleasedon't.It'sabsolutelyallright."Hiseyewanderedtothemantelpiece,asithaddoneonceortwiceduringtheconversation.InherhurryJillhadreplacedthesnapshotwithitsbacktotheroom,andWallyhadthefidgetyairofamanwhosemostcherishedpossessionismaltreated.Hegotupnowand,walkingacross,turnedthephotographround.Hestoodforamoment,lookingatit.Jillhadforgottenthesnapshot.Curiosityreturnedtoher.

"Where_did_yougetthat?"sheasked.

Wallyturned.

"Oh,didyouseethis?"

"Iwaslookingatitjustbeforeyounearlyfrightenedmetodeathbyappearingsounexpectedly."

"FreddieRookesoldittomefourteenyearsago."

"Fourteenyearsago?"

"NextJuly,"addedWally."Igavehimfiveshillingsforit."

"Fiveshillings!Thelittlebrute!"criedJillindignantly."Itmusthavebeenallthemoneyyouhadintheworld!"

"Atriflemore,asamatteroffact.AllthemoneyIhadintheworldwasthree-and-six.ButbyamercifuldispensationofProvidencethecuratehadcalledthatmorningandleftamoney-boxforsubscriptionstothevillageorgan-fund....It'swonderfulwhatyoucandowithaturnforcrimeandthesmallbladeofapocket-knife!Idon'tthinkIhaveevermademoneyquicker!"Helookedatthephotographagain."Not

thatitseemedquickatthemoment.IdiedatleastadozenagonizingdeathsinthefewminutesIwasoperating.Haveyouevernoticedhowslowlytimegoeswhenyouarecoaxingashillingandasixpenceoutofsomebody'smoney-box?Centuries!ButIwasforgetting.Ofcourseyou'vehadnoexperience."

"Youpoorthing!"

"Itwasworthit."

"Andyou'vehaditeversince!"

"Iwouldn'tpartwithitforallMrs.WaddesleighPeagrim'smillions,"

saidWallywithsuddenandstartlingvehemence,"ifsheofferedmethem."Hepaused."Shehasn't,asamatteroffact."

Therewasasilence.JilllookedatWallyfurtivelyashereturnedtohisseat.Shewasseeinghimwithneweyes.Itwasasifthistriflingincidenthadremovedsomesortofaveil.Hehadsuddenlybecomemorealive.Foraninstantshehadseenrightintohim,tothehiddendeepsofhissoul.Shefeltshyandembarrassed.

"Patdied,"shesaidatlength.Shefeltthenecessityofsaying



something.

"IlikedPat."

"Hepickedupsomepoison,poordarling....Howlongagothosedaysseem,don'tthey?"

"Theyarealwaysprettyvividtome.Iwonderwhohasthatoldhouseofyoursnow."

"Iheardtheotherday,"saidJillmoreeasily.Theoddsensationofembarrassmentwaspassing."Somepeoplecalled...whatwasthename?...Debenham,Ithink."

Silencefellagain.Itwasbrokenbythefront-doorbell,likeanalarm-clockthatshattersadream.

Wallygotup.

"Youruncle,"hesaid.

"Youaren'tgoingtoopenthedoor?"

"Thatwasthescheme."

"Buthe'llgetsuchashockwhenheseesyou."

"Hemustlookonitinthelightofrent.Idon'tseewhyIshouldn'thavealittlepassingamusementfromthisbusiness."

Helefttheroom.Jillheardthefrontdooropen.Shewaitedbreathlessly.PityforUncleChrisstruggledwiththesternerfeelingthatitservedhimright.

"Hullo!"sheheardWallysay.

"Hullo-ullo-ullo!"repliedanexuberantvoice."WonderedifI'dfind

youin,andallthatsortofthing.Isay,whatadeuceofawayupitishere.Sortofgetachappieintotrainingforgoingtoheaven,what?Imean,what?"

Jilllookedaboutherlikeatrappedanimal.Itwasabsurd,shefelt,buteverynerveinherbodycriedoutagainsttheprospectofmeetingFreddie.Hisveryvoicehadopenedoldwoundsandsetthemthrobbing.

Shelistenedinthedoorway.Outofsightdownthepassage,Freddieseemedbythesoundstoberemovinghisovercoat.ShestoleoutanddartedlikeashadowdownthecorridorthatledtoWally'sbedroom.ThewindowofthebedroomopenedontothewideroofwhichUncleChrishadeulogized.Sheslippednoiselesslyout,closingthewindowbehind

her.

II

"Isay,Mason,oldtop,"saidFreddie,enteringthesitting-room,"Ihopeyoudon'tmindmybarginginlikethis,butthefactisthingsareabitthick.I'mdashedworried,andIdidn'tknowanothersoulIcouldtalkitoverwith.Asamatteroffact,Iwasn'tsureyouwereinNewYorkatall,butIrememberedhearingyousayinLondonthat



"Isay,ifyouhavecomeoverasanambassadorwiththeideaofreopeningnegotiationswithJillonbehalfofthatinfernalswine...."

"Oldman!"protestedFreddie,pained."Palofmine,youknow."

"Ifheis,afterwhat'shappened,yourmentalprocessesarebeyondme."

"Mywhat,oldson?"

"Yourmentalprocesses."

"Oh,ah!"saidFreddie,learningforthefirsttimethathehadany.

Wallylookedathimintently.Therewasacuriousexpressiononhisrough-hewnface.

"Ican'tunderstandyou,Freddie.IfevertherewasafellowwhomighthavebeenexpectedtotaketheonlypossibleviewofUnderhill'sbehaviourinthisbusiness,Ishouldhavesaiditwasyou.You'reapublic-schoolman.You'vemixedallthetimewithdecentpeople.Youwouldn'tdoanythingthatwasn'tstraightyourselftosaveyourlife.YetitseemstohavemadeabsolutelynodifferenceinyouropinionofthismanUnderhillthathebehavedlikeanuttercadtoagirlwho

wasoneofyourbestfriends.Youseemtoworshiphimjustasmuchasever.AndyouhavetravelledthreethousandmilestobringamessagefromhimtoJill--GoodGod!_Jill_!--totheeffect,asfarasIcanunderstandit,thathehasthoughtitoverandcometotheconclusionthatafterallshemaypossiblybegoodenoughforhim!"

Freddierecoveredtheeye-glasswhichtheraisingofhiseyebrowshadcausedtofall,andpolisheditinacrushedsortofway.Rummy,hereflected,howchappiesstayedthesamealltheirlivesastheywerewhentheywerekids.Nasty,toughsortofchapWallyMasonhadbeenasaboy,andherehewas,apparently,notalteredabit.Atleasttheonlyimprovementhecoulddetectwasthat,whereasintheolddaysWally,wheninanuglymoodlikethis,wouldundoubtedlyhavekicked

him,henowseemedcontentwithmerewords.Allthesame,hewasbeingdashedunpleasant.AndhewasallwrongaboutpoorDerek.Thislastfactheendeavouredtomakeclear.

"Youdon'tunderstand,"hesaid."Youdon'trealize.You'venevermetLadyUnderhill,haveyou?"

"Whathasshegottodowithit?"

"Everything,oldbean,everything.Ifithadn'tbeenforher,therewouldn'thavebeenanytroubleofanydescription,sort,ororder.ButshebargedinandsavagedpooroldDerektillsheabsolutelymadehimbreakofftheengagement."

"Ifyoucallhim'pooroldDerek'again,Freddie,"saidWallyviciously,"I'lldropyououtofthewindowandthrowyourhatafteryou!Ifhe'ssuchagelatine-backbonedwormthathismothercan...."

"Youdon'tknowher,oldthing!She's_the_originalhellhound!"

"Idon'tcarewhat...."

"Mustbeseentobebelieved,"mumbledFreddie.



"Idon'tcarewhatshe'slike!Anymanwhocould...."

"Onceseen,neverforgotten!"

"Damnyou!Don'tinterrupteverytimeItrytogetawordin!"

"Sorry,oldman!Shan'toccuragain!"

Wallymovedtothewindow,andstoodlookingout.HehadhadmuchmoretosayonthesubjectofDerekUnderhill,butFreddie'sinterruptionshadputitoutofhishead,andhefeltirritatedandbaffled.

"Well,allIcansayis,"heremarkedsavagely,"that,ifyouhavecomeoverhereasanambassadortotryandeffectareconciliationbetweenJillandUnderhill,IhopetoGodyou'llneverfindher."

Freddieemittedaweakcough,likeaveryfar-offasthmaticoldsheep.HewasfindingWallymoreoverpoweringeverymoment.Hehadratherforgottenthedearolddaysofhischildhood,butthisconversationwasbeginningtorefreshhismemory:andhewasrealizingmorevividlywitheverymomentthatpassedhowveryWallyishWallywas--howextraordinarilyliketheWallywhohaddominatedhisgrowingintellectwhentheywerebothinEtonsuits.Freddieinthosedayshadbeenall

forpeace,andhewasallforpeacenow.Hemadehisnextobservationdiffidently.

"I_have_foundher!"

Wallyspunround.

"What!"

"WhenIsaythat,Idon'tabsolutelymeanI'veseenher.ImeanIknowwheresheis.That'swhatIcameroundtoseeyouabout.FeltImusttalkitover,youknow.Thesituationseemstomedashedrottenandnotalittlethick.Thefactis,oldman,she'sgoneonthestage.In

thechorus,youknow.And,Imeantosay,well,ifyoufollowwhatI'mdrivingat,what,what?"

"Inthechorus?"

"Inthechorus!"

"Howdoyouknow?"

Freddiegropedforhiseyeglass,whichhadfallenagain.Heregardeditatriflesternly.Hewasfondofthelittlechap,butitwasalwaysdoingthatsortofthing.Thewholetroublewasthat,ifyouwantedtokeepitinitsplace,yousimplycouldn'tregisteranysortofemotion

withthegoodoldfeatures:and,whenyouwerechattingwithafellowlikeWallyMason,youhadtoberegisteringsomethingallthetime.

"Well,thatwasabitofluck,asamatteroffact.WhenIfirstgothere,youknow,itseemedtometheonlythingtodowastoroundupamerryolddetectiveandputthematterinhishands,liketheydoinstories._You_know.Ringatthebell.'Andthis,ifImistakenot,Watson,ismyclientnow.'Andtheninbreezesclientandspillstheplot.Ifoundasleuthintheclassifiedtelephonedirectory,andtoddledround.Rummychaps,detectives!Evermetany?Ialwaysthought



theywerelean,hatchet-facedJohnnieswithinscrutablesmiles.ThisonelookedjustlikemyoldUncleTed,theonewhodiedofapoplexy.Jovial,puffy-facedbird,whokeptbobbingupbehindafatcigar.Haveyouevernoticedwhatwhackingbigcigarsthesefellowsoverheresmoke?Rummycountry,America.Yououghttohaveseenthewaythisblightercouldshifthiscigarrightacrosshisfacewithmovinghisjaw-muscles.Likeaflash!Mostremarkablethingyoueversaw,Igiveyoumyhonestword!He...."

"Couldn'tyoukeepyourImpressionsofAmericaforthebookyou'regoingtowrite,andcometothepoint?"saidWallyrudely.

"Sorry,oldchap,"saidFreddiemeekly."Gladyouremindedme.Well....Oh,yes.Wehadgotasfarasthejovialoldhumanbloodhound,hadn'twe?Well,Iputthematterbeforethischappie.ToldhimIwantedtofindagirl,showedhimaphotograph,andsoforth.Isay,"saidFreddie,wanderingoffoncemoreintospeculation,"whyisitthatcoveslikethatalwaystalkofagirlas'thelittlelady'?Thischapkeptsaying'We'llfindthelittleladyforyou!'Oh,well,that'sratherofftherails,isn'tit?ItjustfloatedacrossmymindandIthoughtI'dmentionit.Well,thisblighterpresumablynosedaboutandmadeenquiriesforacoupleofdays,butdidn'teffectanythingthatyoumightcallsubstantial.I'mnotblaminghim,mindyou.Ishouldn'tcaretohaveajoblikethatmyself.Imeantosay,

whenyoucometothinkofwhatafrightfulnumberofgirlsthereareinthisplace,tohaveto...well,asIsay,hedidhisbestbutdidn'tclick;andthenthisevening,justbeforeIcamehere,ImetagirlIhadknowninEngland--shewasinashowoverthere--agirlcalledNellyBryant...."

"NellyBryant?Iknowher."

"Yes?Fancythat!Shewasinathingcalled'FollowtheGirl'inLondon.Didyouseeitbyanychance?Toppingshow!Therewasonescenewherethe...."

"Geton!Geton!Iwroteit."

"Youwroteit?"Freddiebeamedsimple-heartedadmiration."Mydearoldchap,Icongratulateyou!Oneoftheripestandmostall-woolmusicalcomediesI'veeverseen.Iwenttwenty-fourtimes.RummyIdon'trememberspottingthatyouwroteit.Isupposeoneneverlooksatthenamesontheprogramme.Yes,Iwenttwenty-fourtimesThefirsttimeIwentwaswithacoupleofchappiesfrom...."

"Listen,Freddie!"saidWallyfeverishly."OnsomeotheroccasionIshoulddearlylovetohearthestoryofyourlife,butjustnow...."

"Absolutely,oldman.You'reperfectlyright.Well,tocutalongstoryshort,NellyBryanttoldmethatsheandJillwererehearsing

withapiececalled'TheRoseofAmerica.'"

"'TheRoseofAmerica!'"

"Ithinkthatwasthenameofit."

"That'sIkeGoble'sshow.Hecalledmeuponthephoneaboutithalfanhourago.Ipromisedtogoandseearehearsalofitto-morroworthedayafter.AndJill'sinthat?"



"Yes.Howaboutit?Imean,Idon'tknowmuchaboutthissortofthing,butdoyouthinkit'sthesortofthingJilloughttobedoing?"

Wallywasmovingrestlesslyabouttheroom.Freddie'snewshaddisquietedhim.Mr.Goblehadareputation.

"Iknowalotaboutit,"hereplied,"anditcertainlyisn't."Hescowledatthecarpet."Oh,damneverybody!"

Freddiepausedtoallowhimtoproceed,ifsuchshouldbehiswish,butWallyhadapparentlysaidhissay.Freddiewentontopointoutanaspectofthematterwhichwastroublinghimgreatly.

"I'msurepooroldDerekwouldn'tlikeherbeinginthechorus!"

WallystartedsoviolentlythatforamomentFreddiewasuneasy.

"ImeanUnderhill,"hecorrectedhimselfhastily.

"Freddie,"saidWally,"you'reanawfullygoodchap,butIwishyouwouldexitrapidlynow!Thanksforcomingandtellingme,verygoodofyou.Thiswayout!"

"But,oldman...!"

"Nowwhat?"

"Ithoughtweweregoingtodiscussthisbingeanddecidewhattodoandallthatsortofthing."

"Someothertime.Iwanttothinkaboutit."

"Oh,youwillthinkaboutit?"

"Yes,I'llthinkaboutit."

"Topping!Yousee,you'reabrainysortoffellow,andyou'llprobablyhitsomething."

"Iprobablyshall,ifyoudon'tgo."

"Eh?Oh,ah,yes!"Freddiestruggledintohiscoat.MorethaneverdidtheadultWallyremindhimofthedangerousstriplingofyearsgoneby."Well,cheerio!"

"Sametoyou!"

"You'llletmeknowifyouscareupsomedevilishfruitywheeze,won'tyou?I'mattheBiltmore."

"Verygoodplacetobe.Gotherenow."

"Rightho!Well,toodle-oo!"

"Theelevatorisatthefootofthestairs,"saidWally."Youpressthebellandupitcomes.Youhopinanddownyougo!It'sagreatinvention!Goodnight!"

"Oh,Isay.Onemoment...."



"Good_night_!"saidWally.

Heclosedthedoor,andrandownthepassage.

"Jill!"hecalled.Heopenedthebedroomwindowandsteppedout."Jill!"

Therewasnoreply.

"Jill!"calledWallyonceagain,butagaintherewasnoanswer.

Wallywalkedtotheparapet,andlookedover.Belowhimthevastnessofthecitystretcheditselfinagreattriangle,itsapextheharbour,itssidesthedullsilveroftheEastandHudsonRivers.Directlybeforehim,crownedwithitswhitelantern,theMetropolitanTowerreareditsgracefulheighttothestars.Andallaround,inthewindowsofthetallbuildingsthatlookedfromthisbastiononwhichhestoodalmostsquat,amillionlightsstaredupathim,theunsleepingeyesofNewYork.ItwasasceneofwhichWally,alwayssensitivetobeauty,nevertired:butto-nightithadlostitsappeal.ApleasantbreezefromtheJerseyshoregreetedhimwithaquickeningwhisperofspringtimeandromance,butitdidnotlifttheheavinessofhisheart.Hefeltdepressedandapprehensive.

CHAPTERXIV

MR.GOBLEMAKESTHEBIGNOISE

I

Spring,whosecomingthebreezehadheraldedtoWallyashesmokedupontheroof,floatedgraciouslyuponNewYorktwomorningslater.

Thecityawoketoadayofblueandgoldandtoasenseofhardtimesoverandgoodtimestocome.InhisapartmentonParkAvenue,MrIsaacGoble,sniffingthegentleairfromthewindowofhisbreakfast-room,returnedtohismealandhis_MorningTelegraph_witharesolvetowalktothetheatreforrehearsal:aresolvewhichhadalsocometoJillandNellyBryant,eatingstewedprunesintheirboarding-houseintheForties.Onthesummitofhissky-scraper,WallyMason,performingSwedishexercisestothedelectationofvariousclerksandstenographersintheupperwindowsofneighbouringbuildings,feltyoungandvigorousandoptimistic,andwentintohisshower-baththinkingofJill.AnditwasofJill,too,thatyoungPilkingtonthought,asheproppedhislongformupagainstthepillowsandsippedhismorningcupoftea.Forthefirsttimeinseveraldaysacertain

moodinesswhichhadaffectedOtisPilkingtonlefthim,andhedreamedhappyday-dreams.

ThegaietyofOtiswasnot,however,entirelyorevenprimarilyduetotheimprovementintheweather.IthaditssourceinaconversationwhichhadtakenplacebetweenhimselfandJill'sUncleChrisonthepreviousnight.Exactlyhowithadcomeabout,Mr.Pilkingtonwasnotentirelyclear,but,somehow,beforehewasfullyawareofwhathewassaying,hehadbeguntopourintoMajorSelby'ssympatheticearsthestoryofhisromance.Encouragedbytheother'skindlyreceptiveness,



hehadtoldhimall--hisloveforJill,hishopesthatsomedayitmightbereturned,thedifficultiescomplicatingthesituationowingtotheknownprejudicesofMrs.WaddesleighPeagrimconcerninggirlswhoformedthepersonnelofmusicalcomedyensembles.ToalltheseoutpouringsMajorSelbyhadlistenedwithkeenattention,andfinallyhadmadeoneofthoseluminoussuggestions,sosimpleyetsoshrewd,whichemanateonlyfromyourmanoftheworld.ItwasJill'sgirlishambition,itseemedfromMajorSelby'sstatement,tobecomeaforceinthemotion-pictureworld.Themovieswereherobjective.

What,hebrokeofftoask,didPilkingtonthinkoftheidea?

Pilkingtonthoughttheideasplendid.MissMariner,withhercharmandlooks,wouldbewonderfulinthemovies.

Therewas,saidUncleChris,afutureforthegirlinthemovies.

Mr.Pilkingtonagreedcordially.Agreatfutureindeed.

"Observe,"proceededUncleChris,gatheringspeedandexpandinghischestashespreadhislegsbeforethefire,"howitwouldsimplifythewholematterifJillweretobecomeamotion-pictureartistandwinfameandwealthinherprofession.YougotoyourexcellentauntandannouncethatyouareengagedtobemarriedtoJillMariner.There

isamomentarypause.'Not_the_JillMariner?'faltersMrs.Peagrim.'Yes,thefamousMissMariner!'youreply.Well,Iaskyou,myboy,canyouseehermakinganyobjection?Suchathingwouldbeabsurd.No,Icanseenoflawintheprojectwhatsoever."HereUncleChris,ashehadpicturedMrs.Peagrimdoing,pausedforamoment."Ofcourse,therewouldbethepreliminaries."

"Thepreliminaries?"

UncleChris'voicebecameamelodiouscoo.HebeameduponMr.Pilkington.

"Well,thinkforyourself,myboy!Thesethingscannotbedonewithout

money.Idonotproposetoallowmyniecetowastehertimeandherenergyintherankandfileoftheprofession,waitingyearsforachancethatmightnevercome.Thereisplentyofroomatthetop,andthat,inthemotion-pictureprofession,istheplacetostart.IfJillistobecomeamotion-pictureartist,aspecialcompanymustbeformedtopromoteher.Shemustbemadeafeature,astar,fromthebeginning.Whether,"saidUncleChris,smoothingthecreaseofhistrousers,"youwouldwishtotakesharesinthecompanyyourself...."

"Oo...!"

"...isamatter,"proceededUncleChris,ignoringtheinterruption,"foryouyourselftodecide.Possiblyyouhaveotherclaimsonyour

purse.Possiblythismusicalplayofyourshastakenallthecashyouarepreparedtolockup.Possiblyyoumayconsidertheventuretoospeculative.Possibly...thereareahundredreasonswhyyoumaynotwishtojoinus.ButIknowadozenmen--IcangodownWallStreetto-morrowandpickouttwentymen--whowillbegladtoadvancethenecessarycapital.IcanassureyouthatIpersonallyshallnothesitatetorisk--ifonecancallitrisking--anyloosecashwhichImayhavelyingidleatmybanker's."

Herattledtheloosecashwhichhehadlyingidleinhis



trouser-pocket--fifteencentsinall--andstoppedtoflickapieceoffluffoffhiscoat-sleeve.Mr.Pilkingtonwasthusenabledtoinsertaword.

"Howmuchwouldyouwant?"heenquired.

"That,"saidUncleChrismeditatively,"isalittlehardtosay.Ishouldhavetolookintothemattermorecloselyinordertogiveyoutheexactfigures.Butletussayforthesakeofargumentthatyouputup--whatshallwesay?--ahundredthousand?fiftythousand?...no,wewillbeconservative.Perhapsyouhadbetternotbeginwithmorethantenthousand.Youcanalwaysbuymoreshareslater.Idon'tsupposeIshallbeginwithmorethantenthousandmyself."

"Icouldmanagetenthousandallright."

"Excellent.Wemakeprogress,wemakeprogress.Verywell,then.IgotomyWallStreetfriendsandtellthemaboutthescheme,andsay'Hereistenthousanddollars!Whatisyourcontribution?'Itputstheaffaironabusiness-likebasis,youunderstand.Thenwereallygettowork.Butuseyourownjudgment,myboy,youknow.Useyourownjudgment.Iwouldnotthinkofpersuadingyoutotakesuchastep,ifyoufeltatalldoubtful.Thinkitover.Sleeponit.And,whateveryoudecidetodo,onnoaccountsayawordaboutittoJill.Itwould

becrueltoraiseherhopesuntilwearecertainthatweareinapositiontoenablehertorealizethem.And,ofcourse,notawordtoMrs.Peagrim."

"Ofcourse."

"Verywell,then,myboy,"saidUncleChrisaffably."Iwillleaveyoutoturnthewholethingoverinyourmind.Actentirelyasyouthinkbest.Howisyourinsomnia,bytheway?DidyoutryNervino?Capital!There'snothinglikeit.Itdidwondersfor_me_!Goodnight,goodnight!"

OtisPilkingtonhadbeenturningthethingoverinhismind,withan

intervalforsleep,eversince.Andthemorehethoughtofit,thebettertheschemeappearedtohim.Hewincedalittleatthethoughtofthetenthousanddollars,forhecameofprudentstockandhadbeenbroughtupinhabitsofparsimony,but,afterall,hereflected,themoneywouldbemerelyaloan.Oncethecompanyfounditsfeet,itwouldbereturnedtohimahundred-fold.AndtherewasnodoubtthatthiswouldputacompletelydifferentaspectonhiswooingofJill,asfarasAuntOlivewasconcerned.Why,acousinofhis--youngBrewsterPhilmore--hadmarriedamovie-staronlytwoyearsago,andnobodyhadmadetheslightestobjection.BrewsterwastobeseenwithhisbridefrequentlybeneathMrs.Peagrim'sroof.AgainstthehigherstrataofBohemiaMrs.Peagrimhadnoprejudiceatall.Quitethereverse,infact.Shelikedthesocietyofthosewhosenameswereofteninthe

papersandmuchinthepublicmouth.ItseemedtoOtisPilkington,inshort,thatLovehadfoundaway.Hesippedhisteawithrelish,andwhentheJapanesevaletbroughtinthetoastallburnedononeside,chidedhimwithagentlesweetnesswhich,onemayhope,touchedthelatter'sOrientalheartandinspiredhimwithadesiretoservehisbestofemployersmoreefficiently.

Athalf-pastten,OtisPilkingtonremovedhisdressing-gownandbegantoputonhisclothestovisitthetheatre.Therewasarehearsal-callforthewholecompanyateleven.Ashedressed,hismoodwasassunny



asthedayitself.

Andtheday,byhalf-pastten,wasassunnyaseverSpringdayhadbeeninacountrywhereSpringcomesearlyanddoesitsbestfromtheverystart.Theblueskybeameddownonahappycity.Toandfrothecitizenrybustled,aglowwiththeperfectionoftheweather.Everywherewasgaietyandgoodcheer,exceptonthestageoftheGothamTheatre,whereanearlyrehearsal,preliminarytothemainevent,hadbeencalledbyJohnsonMillerinordertoironsomeofthekinksoutofthe"MyHeartandI"number,which,withtheassistanceofthemalechorus,theleadingladywastorenderinActOne.

OnthestageoftheGothamgloomreigned--literally,becausethestagewaswideanddeepandwasilluminedonlybyasingleelectriclight;andfiguratively,becausethingsweregoingevenworsethanusualwiththe"MyHeartandI"number,andJohnsonMiller,alwaysofanemotionalandeasilystirredtemperament,hadbeengoadedbytheincompetenceofhismalechorustoastateoffrenzy.AtaboutthemomentwhenOtisPilkingtonshedhisflowereddressing-gownandreachedforhistrousers(theheather-mixturewiththeredtwill),JohnsonMillerwaspacingthegangwaybetweentheorchestrapitandthefirstrowoftheorchestrachairs,wavingonehandandclutchinghiswhitelockswiththeother,hisvoiceraisedthewhileinagonizedprotest.

"Gentlemen,yousillyidiots,"complainedMr.Millerloudly,"you'vehadthreeweekstogetthesemovementsintoyourthickheads,andyouhaven'tdoneadamnthingright!You'reallovertheplace!Youdon'tseemabletoturnwithouttumblingovereachotherlikealotofKeystoneKops!What'sthematterwithyou?You'renotdoingthemovementsIshowedyou;you'redoingsomeyouhaveinventedyourselves,andtheyarerotten!I'venodoubtyouthinkyoucanarrangeanumberbetterthanIcan,butMr.Gobleengagedmetobethedirector,sokindlydoexactlyasItellyou.Don'ttrytouseyourownintelligence,becauseyouhaven'tany.I'mnotblamingyouforit.Itwasn'tyourfaultthatyournursesdroppedyouonyourheadswhenyouwerebabies.Butithandicapsyouwhenyoutrytothink."

Ofthesevengentlemanlymembersofthemaleensemblepresent,sixlookedwoundedbythistirade.Theyhadtheairofgoodmenwrongfullyaccused.TheyappearedtobesilentlycallingonHeaventoseejusticedonebetweenMr.Millerandthemselves.Theseventh,along-leggedyoungmaninfaultlesslyfittingtweedsofEnglishcut,seemed,ontheotherhand,notsomuchhurtasembarrassed.Itwasthisyouthwhonowsteppeddowntothedarkenedfootlightsandspokeinaremorsefulandconscience-strickenmanner.

"Isay!"

Mr.Miller,thatmartyrtodeafness,didnothearthepatheticbleat.

Hehadswungoffatrightanglesandwasmarchinginanoverwroughtwayupthecentralaisleleadingtothebackofthehouse,hisindia-rubberformmovinginconvulsivejerks.Onlywhenhehadturnedandretracedhisstepsdidheperceivethespeakerandpreparetotakehisshareintheconversation.

"What?"heshouted."Can'thearyou!"

"Isay,youknow,it'smyfault,really."



"What?"

"Imeantosay,youknow...."

"What?Speakup,can'tyou?"

Mr.Saltzburg,whohadbeenseatedatthepiano,absentlyplayingamelodyfromhisunproducedmusicalcomedy,awoketothefactthattheservicesofaninterpreterwereneeded.Heobliginglyleftthemusic-stoolandcrept,crab-like,alongtheledgeofthestage-box.HeplacedhisarmaboutMr.Miller'sshouldersandhislipstoMr.Miller'sleftear,anddrewadeepbreath.

"Hesaysitishisfault!"

Mr.Millernoddedadhesiontothisadmirablesentiment.

"Iknowthey'renotworththeirsalt!"hereplied.

Mr.Saltzburgpatientlytookinafreshstockofbreath.

"Thisyoungmansaysitishisfaultthatthemovementwentwrong!"

"TellhimIonlysignedonthismorning,laddie,"urgedthetweed-clad

youngman.

"Heonlyjoinedthecompanythismorning!"

ThispuzzledMr.Miller.

"Howdoyoumean,warning?"heasked.

Mr.Saltzburg,purpleintheface,madealasteffort.

"Thisyoungmanisnew,"hebellowedcarefully,keepingtowordsofonesyllable."Hedoesnotyetknowthesteps.Hesaysthisishisfirstdayhere,sohedoesnotyetknowthesteps.Whenhehasbeen

heresomemoretimehewillknowthesteps.Butnowhedoesnotknowthesteps."

"Whathemeans,"explainedtheyoungmanintweedshelpfully,"isthatIdon'tknowthesteps."

"Hedoesnotknowthesteps!"roaredMr.Saltzburg.

"Iknowhedoesn'tknowthesteps,"saidMr.Miller."Whydoesn'theknowthesteps?He'shadlongenoughtolearnthem."

"Heisnew!"

"Hugh?"

"New!"

"Oh,new?"

"Yes,new!"

"Whythedevilishenew?"criedMr.Miller,awakingsuddenlytothetruthandfilledwithasenseofoutrage."Whydidn'thejoinwiththe



restofthecompany?HowcanIputonchorusnumbersifIamsaddledeverydaywithnewpeopletoteach?Whoengagedhim?"

"Whoengagedyou?"enquiredMr.Saltzburgoftheculprit.

"Mr.Pilkington."

"Mr.Pilkington,"shoutedMr.Saltzburg.

"When?"

"When?"

"Lastnight."

"Lastnight."

Mr.Millerwavedhishandsinagestureofdivinedespair,spunround,darteduptheaisle,turned,andboundedback.

"WhatcanIdo?"hewailed."Myhandsaretied!Iamhampered!Iamhandicapped!WeopenintwoweeksandeverydayIfindsomebodynewinthecompanytoupseteverythingIhavedone.IshallgotoMr.Gobleandasktobereleasedfrommycontract.Ishall....Comealong,come

along,comealongnow!"hebrokeoffsuddenly."Whyarewewastingtime?Thewholenumberoncemore.Thewholenumberoncemorefromthebeginning!"

Theyoungmantotteredbacktohisgentlemanlycolleagues,runningafingerinanagitatedmannerroundtheinsideofhiscollar.Hewasnotusedtothissortofthing.Inalargeexperienceofamateurtheatricalshehadneverencounteredanythinglikeit.Inthebreathing-spaceaffordedbythesingingofthefirstverseandrefrainbytheladywhoplayedtheheroineof"TheRoseofAmerica,"hefoundtimetomakeanenquiryoftheartistonhisright.

"Isay!Ishealwayslikethis?"

"Who?Johnny?"

"Thesportsmanwiththehairthatturnedwhiteinasinglenight.Thebarkeronthesky-line.Doesheoftengetthewinduplikethis?"

Hiscolleaguesmiledtolerantly.

"Why,that'snothing!"hereplied."Waittillyouseehimreallycutloose!Thatwasjustagentlewhisper!"

"MyGod!"saidthenewcomer,staringintoableakfuture.

Theleadingladycametotheendofherrefrain,andthegentlemenoftheensemble,whohadbeenhangingaboutup-stage,begantocurvetnimblydowntowardsherinadoubleline;thenewarrival,withaneyeonhisnearestneighbour,endeavouringtocurvetasnimblyastheothers.Aclappingofhandsfromthedarkauditoriumindicated--inappropriately--thathehadfailedtodoso.Mr.Millercouldbeperceived--dimly--withallhisfingersentwinedinhishair.

"Clearthestage!"yelledMr.Miller."Notyou!"heshouted,asthelatestadditiontothecompanybegantodriftoffwiththeothers.



"Youstay!"

"Me?"

"Yes,you.Ishallhavetoteachyouthestepsbyyourself,orweshallgetnowhere.Goup-stage.Startthemusicagain,Mr.Saltzburg.Now,whentherefrainbegins,comedown.Gracefully!Gracefully!"

Theyoungman,pinkbutdetermined,begantocomedowngracefully.AnditwaswhilehewasthusoccupiedthatJillandNellyBryant,enteringthewingswhichwerebeginningtofillupaseleveno'clockapproached,sawhim.

"Whoeveristhat?"saidNelly.

"Newman,"repliedoneofthechorusgentlemen."Camethismorning."

NellyturnedtoJill.

"HelooksjustlikeMr.Rooke!"sheexclaimed.

"He_is_Mr.Rooke!"saidJill.

"Hecan'tbe!"

"He_is_!"

"Butwhatishedoinghere?"

Jillbitherlip.

"That'sjustwhatI'mgoingtoaskhimmyself,"shesaid.

II

TheopportunityforaprivateconversationwithFreddiedidnotoccur

immediately.Fortenminutesheremainedaloneonthestage,absorbingabusivetuitionfromMr.Miller:andattheendofthatperiodafurthertenminuteswasoccupiedwiththerehearsingofthenumberwiththeleadingladyandtherestofthemalechorus.When,finally,aroarfromthebackoftheauditoriumannouncedthearrivalofMr.GobleandatthesametimeindicatedMr.Goble'sdesirethatthestageshouldbeclearedandtherehearsalproperbegin,awansmileofrecognitionandafaint"Whatho!"wasallthatFreddiewasabletobestowuponJill,before,withtherestoftheensemble,theyhadtogooutandgroupthemselvesfortheopeningchorus.ItwasonlywhenthishadbeenrunthroughfourtimesandthestageleftvacantfortwooftheprincipalstoplayascenethatJillwasabletodrawtheLastoftheRookesasideinadarkcornerandputhimtothequestion.

"Freddie,whatareyoudoinghere?"

Freddiemoppedhisstreamingbrow.JohnsonMiller'sideaofanopeningchoruswasalwaysstrenuous.Onthepresentoccasion,theensembleweresupposedtobeguestsataLongIslandhouse-party,andMr.Miller'sconceptionofthegatheringsuggestedthathesupposedhouse-partyguestsonLongIslandtoconsistexclusivelyofvictimsofSt.Vitus'dance.Freddiewasfeelinglimp,battered,andexhausted:and,fromwhathehadgathered,theworstwasyettocome.



"Eh?"hesaidfeebly.

"Whatareyoudoinghere?"

"Oh,ah,yes!Iseewhatyoumean!Isupposeyou'resurprisedtofindmeinNewYork,what?"

"I'mnotsurprisedtofindyouinNewYork.Iknewyouhadcomeover.ButIamsurprisedtofindyouonthestage,beingbulliedbyMr.Miller."

"Isay,"saidFreddieinanawedvoice."He'sabitofanut,thatlad,what?HeremindsmeofthetroopsofMidianinthehymn.Thechappieswhoprowledandprowledaround.I'llbethe'swornagrooveinthecarpet.LikeajollyoldtigerattheZooatfeedingtime.Wouldn'tbesurprisedatanymomenttolookdownandfindhimbitingapieceoutofmyleg!"

Jillseizedhisarmandshookit.

"Don't_ramble_,Freddie!Tellmehowyougothere."

"Oh,thatwasprettysimple.Ihadaletterofintroductiontothis

chappiePilkingtonwho'srunningthisshow,and,wehavinggottolerablypallyinthelastfewdays,Iwenttohimandaskedhimtoletmejointhemerrythrong.IsaidIdidn'twantanymoney,andthelittlebitofworkIwoulddowouldn'tmakeanydifference,sohesaid'Rightho!'orwordstothateffect,andhereIam."

"Butwhy?Youcan'tbedoingthisforfun,surely?"

"Fun!"ApainedexpressioncameintoFreddie'sface."Myideaoffunisn'tanythinginwhichjollyoldMiller,thebirdwiththesnowyhair,ispermittedtomix.Somethingtellsmethatthatladisgoingtomakeithislife-workpickingonme.No,Ididn'tdothisforfun.IhadatalkwithWallyMasonthenightbeforelast,andheseemedto

thinkthatbeinginthechoruswasn'tthesortofthingyououghttobedoing,soIthoughtitoveranddecidedthatIoughttojointhetroupetoo.ThenIcouldalwaysbeonthespot,don'tyouknow,iftherewasanytrouble.Imeantosay,I'mnotmuchofachapandallthatsortofthing,butstillImightcomeinhandyoneofthesetimes.Keepafatherlyeyeonyou,don'tyouknow,andwhatnot!"

Jillwastouched."You'readear,Freddie!"

"Ithought,don'tyouknow,itwouldmakepooroldDerekabiteasierinhismind."

Jillfroze.

"Idon'twanttotalkaboutDerek,Freddie,please."

"Oh,Iknowwhatyoumustbefeeling.Prettysick,I'llbet,what?Butifyoucouldseehimnow...."

"Idon'twanttotalkabouthim!"

"He'sprettycutup,youknow.Regretsbitterlyandallthatsortofthing.Hewantsyoutocomebackagain."



"Isee!Hesentyoutofetchme?"

"Thatwasmoreorlesstheidea."

"It'sashamethatyouhadallthetrouble.Youcangetmessenger-boystogoanywhereanddoanythingnowadays.Derekoughttohavethoughtofthat."

Freddielookedatherdoubtfully.

"You'respoofing,aren'tyou?Imeantosay,youwouldn'thavelikedthat!"

"Ishouldn'thavedislikeditanymorethanhissendingyou."

"Oh,butIwantedtopopover.KeentoseeAmericaandsoforth."

Jilllookedpasthimatthegloomystage.Herfacewasset,andhereyessombre.

"Can'tyouunderstand,Freddie?You'veknownmealongtime.IshouldhavethoughtthatyouwouldhavefoundoutbynowthatIhaveacertainamountofpride.IfDerekwantedmeback,therewasonlyone

thingforhimtodo--comeoverandfindmehimself."

"Rummy!That'swhatMasonsaid,whenItoldhim.Youtwodon'trealizehowdashedbusyDerekisthesedays."

"Busy!"

SomethinginherfaceseemedtotellFreddiethathewasnotsayingtherightthing,buthestumbledon.

"You'venonotionhowbusyheis.Imeantosay,electionscomingonandsoforth.Hedaren'tstirfromthemetrop."

"OfcourseIcouldn'texpecthimtodoanythingthatmightinterferewithhiscareer,couldI?"

"Absolutelynot.Iknewyouwouldseeit!"saidFreddie,charmedatherreasonableness.Allrot,whatyoureadaboutwomenbeingunreasonable."ThenItakeitit'sallright,eh?"

"Allright?"

"Imeanyouwilltoddlehomewithmeattheearliestopp.andmakepooroldDerekhappy?"

Jilllaugheddiscordantly.

"PooroldDerek!"sheechoed."Hehasbeenbadlytreated,hasn'the?"

"Well,Iwouldn'tsaythat,"saidFreddiedoubtfully."Yousee,comingdowntoit,thethingwasmoreorlesshisfault,what?"

"Moreorless!"

"Imeantosay...."



"Moreorless!"

Freddieglancedatheranxiously.Hewasnotatallsurenowthathelikedthewayshewaslookingorthetoneinwhichshespoke.Hewasnotakeenlyobservantyoungman,buttheredidbeginatthispointtoseepthroughtohisbrain-centresasuspicionthatallwasnotwell.

"Letmepullmyselftogether!"saidFreddiewarilytohisimmortalsoul."IbelieveI'mgettingtheraspberry!"Andtherewassilenceforaspace.

ThecomplexityoflifebegantoweighuponFreddie.Lifewaslikeoneofthoseshotsatsquashwhichseemsosimpletillyougotoknockthecoverofftheball,whentheballsortofedgesawayfromyouandyoumissit.Life,Freddiebegantoperceive,wasapttohaveanastyback-spinonit.Hehadneverhadanydoubtwhenhehadstarted,thattheonlydifficultpartofthisexpeditiontoAmericawouldbethefindingofJill.Oncefound,hehadpresumedthatshewouldbedelightedtohearhisgoodnewsandwouldjoyfullyaccompanyhimhomeonthenextboat.Itappearednow,however,thathehadbeentoosanguine.Optimistashewas,hehadtoadmitthat,asfarascouldbeascertainedwiththenakedeye,thejollyoldbingemightbesaidtohavesprungaleak.

Heproceededtoapproachthematterfromanotherangle.

"Isay!"

"Yes?"

"YoudoloveoldDerek,don'tyou?Imeantosay,youknowwhatImean,_love_himandallthatsortofrot?"

"Idon'tknow!"

"Youdon'tknow!Oh,Isay,comenow!Youmust_know_!Pullupyoursocks,oldthing....Imean,pullyourselftogether!Youeitherlovea

chappieoryoudon't."

Jillsmiledpainfully.

"Howniceitwouldbeifeverythingwereassimpleandstraightforwardasthat.Haven'tyoueverheardthatthedividinglinebetweenloveandhateisjustathread?Poetshavesaidsoagreatnumberoftimes."

"Oh,poets!"saidFreddie,dismissingthegenuswithawaveofthehand.HehadbeencompelledtoreadShakespeareandallthatsortofthingatschool,butithadlefthimcold,andsincegrowingtoman'sestatehehadratherhandedtheraceofbardsthemitten.Heliked

DossChiderdoss'stuffinthe_SportingTimes_,butbeyondthathewasnotmuchofaladforpoets.

"Can'tyouunderstandagirlinmypositionnotbeingabletomakeuphermindwhethershelovesamanordespiseshim?"

Freddieshookhishead.

"No,"hesaid."Itsoundsdashedsillytome!"



"Thenwhat'sthegoodoftalking?"criedJill."Itonlyhurts."

"But--won'tyoucomebacktoEngland?"

"No."

"Oh,Isay!Beasport!Takeastabatit!"

Jilllaughedagain--anotherofthosegratinglaughswhichafflictedFreddiewithasenseofforebodingandfailure.Somethinghadundoubtedlygonewrongwiththeworks.Hebegantofearthatatsomepointintheconversation--justwherehecouldnotsay--hehadbeenlessdiplomaticthanhemighthavebeen.

"Youspeakasifyouwereinvitingmetoagarden-party!No,Iwon'ttakeastabatit.You'vealottolearnaboutwomen,Freddie!"

"Women_are_rum!"concededthatperplexedambassador.

Jillbegantomoveaway.

"Don'tgo!"urgedFreddie.

"Whynot?What'stheuseoftalkinganymore?Haveyoueverbrokenan

armoraleg,Freddie?"

"Yes,"saidFreddie,mystified."Asamatteroffact,mylastyearatOxford,playingsoccerforthecollegeinafriendlygame,someblighterbargedintomeandIcamedownonmywrist.But...."

"Ithurt?"

"Likethedeuce!"

"Andthenitbegantogetbetter,Isuppose.Well,usedyoutohitit,andtwistit,andprodit,ordidyouleaveitalonetotryandheal?Iwon'ttalkanymoreaboutDerek!Isimplywon't!I'mallsmashedup

inside,andIdon'tknowifI'mevergoingtogetwellagain,butatleastI'mgoingtogivemyselfachance.I'mworkingashardaseverIcanandI'mforcingmyselfnottothinkofhim.I'minasling,Freddie,likeyourwrist,andIdon'twanttobeprodded.Ihopeweshallseealotofeachotherwhileyou'reoverhere--youalwayswerethegreatestdearintheworld--butyoumustn'tmentionDerekagain,andyoumustn'taskmetogohome.Ifyouavoidthosesubjects,we'llbeashappyaspossible.AndnowI'mgoingtoleaveyoutotalktopoorNelly.Shehasbeenhoveringroundforthelasttenminutes,waitingforachancetospeaktoyou.Sheworshipsyou,youknow!"

Freddiestartedviolently.

"Oh,Isay!Whatrot!"

Jillhadgone,andhewasstillgapingafterher,whenNellyBryantmovedtowardshim--shyly,likeaworshipperapproachingashrine.

"Hello,Mr.Rooke!"saidNelly.

"Hullo-ullo-ullo!"saidFreddie.

Nellyfixedherlargeeyesonhisface.Afleetingimpressionpassed



throughFreddie'smindthatshewaslookingunusuallyprettythismorning:norwastheimpressionunjustified.NellywaswearingforthefirsttimeaSpringsuitwhichwastheoutcomeofhoursofpainfulselectionamongthewaresofadozendifferentstores,andtheknowledgethatthesuitwasjustrightseemedtoglowfromherlikeaninnerlight.Shefelthappy,andherhappinesshadlentanunwontedcolourtoherfaceandasoftbrightnesstohereyes.

"Howniceitis,yourbeinghere!"

Freddiewaitedfortheinevitablequestion,thequestionwithwhichJillhadopenedtheirconversation;butitdidnotcome.Hewassurprised,butrelieved.Hehatedlongexplanations,andhewasverydoubtfulwhetherloyaltytoJillcouldallowhimtogivethemtoNelly.HisreasonforbeingwherehewashadtodosointimatelywithJill'smostprivateaffairs.AwaveofgratitudetoNellysweptthroughhimwhenherealizedthatshewaseitherincuriousorelsetoodelicate-mindedtoshowinquisitiveness.

Asamatteroffact,itwasdelicacythatkeptNellysilent.SeeingFreddiehereatthetheatre,shehad,asisnotuncommonwithfalliblemortals,puttwoandtwotogetherandmadetheanswerfourwhenitwasnotfouratall.Shehadbeendeceivedbycircumstantialevidence.Jill,whomshehadleftinEnglandwealthyandsecure,shehadmet

againinNewYorkpennilessastheresultofsomeStockExchangecataclysminwhich,sherememberedwiththevaguenesswithwhichonerecallsonce-heardpiecesofinformation,FreddieRookehadbeeninvolved.True,sheseemedtorecollecthearingthatFreddie'slosseshadbeencomparativelyslight,buthispresenceinthechorusof"TheRoseofAmerica"seemedtoherproofthatafteralltheymusthavebeendevastating.ShecouldthinkofnootherreasonexceptlossofmoneywhichcouldhaveplacedFreddieinthepositioninwhichshenowfoundhim,sosheacceptedit;and,withthedelicacywhichwasinnateinherandwhichahardlifehadneverblunted,decided,directlyshesawhim,tomakenoallusiontothedisaster.

SuchwasNelly'sviewofthematter,andsympathygavetohermannera

kindofmaternalgentlenesswhichactedonFreddie,rawfromhislateencounterwithMr.JohnsonMilleranddisturbedbyJill'sattitudeinthematterofpooroldDerek,likeahealingbalm.Hisemotionsweretoochaoticforanalysis,butonethingstoodoutclearfromthewelter--thefactthathewasgladtobewithNellyashehadneverbeengladtobewithagirlbefore,andfoundhersoothingashehadneversupposedagirlcouldbesoothing.

Theytalkeddesultorilyofunimportantthings,andeveryminutefoundFreddiemoreconvincedthatNellywasnotasothergirls.Hefeltthathemustseemoreofher.

"Isay,"hesaid."Whenthisbingeisover...whentherehearsal

finishes,youknow,howaboutabitetoeat?"

"Ishouldloveit.IgenerallygototheAutomat."

"Thehow-much?Neverheardofit."

"InTimesSquare.It'scheap,youknow."

"IwasthinkingoftheCosmopolis."



"Butthat'ssoexpensive."

"Oh,Idon'tknow.Muchthesameasanyoftheotherplaces,isn'tit?"

Nelly'smannerbecamemoremotherlythanever.Shebentforwardandtouchedhisarmaffectionately.

"Youhaven'ttokeepupanyfrontwithme,"shesaidgently."Idon'tcarewhetheryou'rerichorpoororwhat.Imean,ofcourseI'mawfullysorryyou'velostyourmoney,butitmakesitalltheeasierforustoberealpals,don'tyouthinkso?"

"Lostmymoney?"

"Well,Iknowyouwouldn'tbehereifyouhadn't.Iwasn'tgoingtosayanythingaboutit,but,whenyoutalkedoftheCosmopolis,Ijusthadto.YoulostyourmoneyinthesamethingJillMarinerlosthers,didn'tyou?Iwassureyouhad,themomentIsawyouhere.Whocares?Moneyisn'teverything!"

AstonishmentkeptFreddiesilentforaninstant:afterthatherefrainedfromexplanationsofhisownfreewill.Heacceptedthesituationandrejoicedinit.Likemanyotherwealthyandmodestyoung

men,hehadalwayshadasneakingsuspicionatthebackofhismindthatanygirlwhowasdecentlyciviltohimwassofrommixedmotives--or,morelikely,motivesthatwerenotevenmixed.Well,dashit,herewasagirlwhoseemedtolikehimalthoughundertheimpressionthathewasbroketothewide.Itwasanintoxicatingexperience.Itmadehimfeelabetterchap.Itfortifiedhisself-respect.

"Youknow,"hesaid,stammeringalittle,forhefoundasuddendifficultyincontrollinghisvoice."You'readashedgoodsort!"

"I'mawfullygladyouthinkso."

Therewasasilence--asfar,atleast,asheandshewereconcerned.Intheouterworld,beyondthepieceofsceneryunderwhosesheltertheystood,stirringthings,loudandexcitingthings,seemedtobehappening.Somesortofanargumentappearedtobeinprogress.TheraspingvoiceofMr.Goblewasmakingitselfheardfromtheunseenauditorium.Thesethingstheysensedvaguely,buttheyweretoooccupiedwitheachothertoascertaindetails.

"Whatwasthenameofthatplaceagain?"askedFreddie."Thewhat-ho-something?"

"TheAutomat?"

"That'sthelittlechap!We'llgothere,shallwe?"

"Thefood'squitegood.Yougoandhelpyourselfoutofslot-machines,youknow."

"Myfavouriteindoorsport!"saidFreddiewithenthusiasm."Hullo!What'sup?Itsoundsasifthereweredirtyworkatthecross-roads!"

Thevoiceoftheassistantstage-managerwascalling,sharplyexcited,agitationineverysyllable.



"Say,listen,"hesaidtoWally,hisgazeonthestage,hiswordsproceedingfromthecornerofhismouth,"you'vegottostickaroundwiththisshowafteritopensontheroad.We'lltalktermslater.Butwe'vegottogetitright,don'tcarewhatitcosts.See?"

"Youthinkitwillneedfixing?"

Mr.Goblescowledattheunconsciousartists,whowerenowgoingthroughaparticularlyaridstretchofdialogue.

"Fixing!It'sallwrong!Itdon'taddupright!You'llhavetorewriteitfromendtoend."

"Well,I'vegotsomeideaaboutit.Isawitplayedbyamateurslastsummer,youknow.Icouldmakeaquickjobofit,ifyouwantmeto.Butwilltheauthorstandforit?"

Mr.Gobleallowedabelligerenteyetostrayfromthestage,andtwisteditroundinWally'sdirection.

"Say,listen!He'llstandforanythingIsay.I'mthelittleguythatgivesordersroundhere.I'mthebignoise!"

Asifinsupportofthisstatementhesuddenlyemittedaterrificbellow.Theeffectwasmagical.Therefinedandpainstakingartistsonthestagestoppedasiftheyhadbeenshot.Theassistantstage-directorbentsedulouslyoverthefootlights,whichhadnowbeenturnedup,shadinghiseyeswiththepromptscript.

"Takethatoveragain!"shoutedMr.Goble."Yes,thatspeechaboutlifebeinglikeawater-melon.Itdon'tsoundtomeasthoughitmeantanything."Hecockedhiscigaratanangle,andlistenedfiercely.Heclappedhishands.Theactionstoppedagain."Cutit!"saidMr.Gobletersely.

"Cutthespeech,Mr.Goble?"queriedtheobsequiousassistant

stage-director.

"Yes.Cutit.Itdon'tmeannothing!"

Downtheaisle,springingfromaseatattheback,shimmeredMr.Pilkington,woundedtothequick.

"Mr.Goble!Mr.Goble!"

"Well?"

"Thatisthebestepigramintheplay."

"Thebestwhat?"

"Epigram.Thebestepigramintheplay."

Mr.Gobleknockedtheashoffhiscigar."Thepublicdon'twantepigrams.Thepublicdon'tlikeepigrams.I'vebeenintheshowbusinessfifteenyears,andI'mtellingyou!Epigramsgivethemapainunderthevest.Allright,geton."

Mr.Pilkingtonflutteredagitatedly.Thiswashisfirstexperienceof



acceptedversionofthepoet'sname,"saidtheportrayerofLordFinchleyaddingbeneathhisbreath."Yousillyass!"

"YousayOmar_of_Khayyám,"bellowedMr.Goble."Who'srunningthisshow,anyway?"

"Justasyouplease."

Mr.GobleturnedtoWally.

"Theseactors...."hebegan,whenMr.Pilkingtonappearedagainathiselbow.

"Mr.Goble!Mr.Goble!"

"Whatisit_now_?"

"OmarKhayyámwasaPersianpoet.His_name_wasKhayyám."

"Thatwasn'ttheway_I_heardit,"saidMr.Gobledoggedly."Did _you_?"heenquiredofWally."IthoughthewasbornatKhayyám."

"You'reprobablyquiteright,"saidWally,"but,ifso,everybodyelsehasbeenwrongforagoodmanyyears.It'susuallysupposedthatthe

gentleman'snamewasOmarKhayyám.Khayyám,OmarJ.BornA.D.1050,educatedprivatelyandatBagdadUniversity.RepresentedPersiaintheOlympicGamesof1072,winningthesittinghigh-jumpandtheegg-and-spoonrace.TheKhayyámswerequiteawell-knownfamilyinBagdad,andtherewasalotoftalkwhenOmar,whowasMrs.Khayyam'spetson,tooktodrinkandwritingpoetry.Theyhadhaditallfixedforhimtogointohisfather'sdatebusiness."

Mr.Goblewasimpressed.HehadarespectforWally'sopinion,forWallyhadwritten"FollowtheGirl"andlookwhataknock-outthathadbeen.Hestoppedtherehearsalagain.

"GobacktothatKhayyámspeech!"hesaidinterruptingLordFinchley

inmid-sentence.

TheactorwhisperedaheartyEnglishoathbeneathhisbreath.Hehadbeenuplatelastnight,and,inspiteofthefairweather,hewasfeelingatrifleonedge.

"'InthewordsofOmarofKhayyám'...."

Mr.Gobleclappedhishands.

"Cutthat'of,'"hesaid."Theshow'stoolong,anyway."

And,havinghandledadelicatematterinmasterlyfashion,heleaned

backinhischairandchewedtheendoffanothercigar.

Forsomeminutesafterthistherehearsalproceededsmoothly.IfMr.Gobledidnotenjoytheplay,atleasthemadenocriticismsexcepttoWally.Tohimheenlargedfromtimetotimeonthepainwhich"TheRoseofAmerica"causedhim.

"HowIevercametoputonjunklikethisbeatsme,"confessedMr.Goblefrankly.



"Youprobablysawthattherewasagoodideaatthebackofit,"suggestedWally."Thereis,youknow.Properlyhandled,it'sanideathatcouldbemadeintoasuccess."

"Whatwouldyoudowithit?"

"Oh,alotofthings,"saidWallywarily.Inhisyoungerandcallowerdayshehadsometimesbeenrashenoughtoscatterviewsonthereconstructionofplaysbroadcast,tofindthemgratefullyabsorbedandacteduponandtreatedasafriendlygift.HisaffectionforMr.Goblewasnotsooverpoweringastocausehimtogivehimideasfornothingnow.

"Anytimeyouwantmetofixitforyou,I'llcomealong.Aboutoneandahalfpercentofthegrosswouldmeetthecase,Ithink."

Mr.Goblefacedhim,registeringtheutmostastonishmentandhorror.

"Oneandahalfpercentforfixingashowlikethis?Why,darnit,there'shardlyanythingtodotoit!It's--it's_in_!"

"Youcalleditjunkjustnow."

"Well,allImeantwasthatitwasn'tthesortofthingIcaredfor

myself.Thepublicwilleatit.Takeitfromme,thetimeisjustaboutripeforarevivalofcomicopera."

"Thisonewillwantalltherevivingyoucangiveit.Betteruseapulmotor."

"Butthatlongboob,thatPilkington...hewouldneverstandformyhandingyouoneandahalfpercent."

"Ithought_you_werethelittleguywhoarrangedthingsroundhere."

"Buthe'sgotmoneyintheshow."

"Well,ifhewantstogetanyout,he'dbettercallinsomebodytorewriteit.Youdon'thavetoengagemeifyoudon'twantto.ButIknowIcouldmakeagoodjobofit.There'sjustonelittletwistthethingneedsandyouwouldhavequiteadifferentpiece."

"What'sthat?"enquiredMr.Goblecasually.

"Oh,justalittle...whatshallIsay?...alittletouchofwhat-d'you-call-itandabitofthingummy.Youknowthesortofthing!That'sallitwants."

Mr.Goblegnawedhiscigar,baffled.

"Youthinkso,eh?"hesaidatlength.

"Andperhapsasuspicionof_je-ne-sais-quoi_,"addedWally.

Mr.Gobleworriedhiscigar,andessayedanewformofattack.

"You'vedonealotofworkforme,"hesaid."Goodwork!"

"Gladyoulikedit,"saidWally.



"You'reagoodkid.Ilikehavingyouaround.IwashalfthinkingofgivingyouashowtodothisFall.Corkingbook.Frenchfarce.RantwoyearsinParis.Butwhat'sthegood,ifyouwanttheearth?"

"Alwaysuseful,theearth.Goodthingtohave."

"Seehere,ifyou'llfixupthisshowforhalfofonepercent,I'llgiveyoutheothertodo."

"Youshouldn'tsluryourwordsso.ForamomentIthoughtyousaid'halfofonepercent.Oneandahalfofcourseyoureallysaid.

"Ifyouwon'ttakehalf,youdon'tgettheother."

"Allright,"saidWally."TherearelotsofothermanagersinNewYork.Haven'tyouseenthempoppingabout?Rich,enterprisingmen,andallofthemlovemelikeason."

"Makeitonepercent,"saidMr.Goble,"andI'llseeifIcanfixitwithPilkington."

"Oneandahalf."

"Oh,damnit,oneandahalf,then,"saidMr.Goblemorosely."What's

thegoodofsplittingstraws?"

"ForgottenSportsofthePast--SplittingtheStraw.Allright.Ifyoudropmealinetothateffect,legiblysignedwithyourname,I'llwearitnextmyheart.Ishallhavetogonow.Ihaveadate.Good-bye.Gladeverything'ssettledandeverybody'shappy."

ForsomemomentsafterWallyhadleft,Mr.Goblesathunchedupinhisorchestra-chair,smokingsullenly,hismoodlesssunnythanever.Livinginalittleworldofsycophants,hewasgalledbytheoff-handwayinwhichWallyalwaystreatedhim.Therewassomethinginthelatter'smannerwhichseemedtohimsometimesalmostcontemptuous.Heregrettedthenecessityofhavingtoemployhim.Therewas,ofcourse,

norealnecessitywhyheshouldhaveemployedWally.NewYorkwasfulloflibrettistswhowouldhavedonetheworkequallywellforhalfthemoney,but,likemostmanagers,Mr.Goblehadthementalprocessesofasheep."FollowtheGirl"wasthelastoutstandingmusicalsuccessinNewYorktheatricalhistory:Wallyhadwrittenit,thereforenobodybutWallywascapableofre-writing"TheRoseofAmerica."ThethinghadforMr.GobletheinevitabilityofFate.ExceptfordecidingmentallythatWallyhadswelledhead,therewasnothingtobedone.

HavingdecidedthatWallyhadswelledhead,andnotfeelingmuchbetter,Mr.Gobleconcentratedhisattentiononthestage.Agooddealofactionhadtakenplacethereduringtherecentlyconcludedbusinesstalk,andtheunfortunateLordFinchleywasbackagain,

playinganotherofhisscenes.Mr.GobleglaredatLordFinchley.Hedidnotlikehim,andhedidnotlikethewayhewasspeakinghislines.

ThepartofLordFinchleywasanon-singingrôle.Itwasatypepart.OtisPilkingtonhadgonetothestraightstagetofindanartist,andhadsecuredthenotuncelebratedWentworthHill,whohadcomeoverfromLondontoplayinanEnglishcomedywhichhadjustclosed.Thenewspapershadcalledtheplaythin,buthadthoughtthatWentworthHillwasanexcellentcomedian.Mr.Hillthoughtso,too,anditwas



consequentlyashocktohisalreadydisorderednerveswhenabellowfromtheauditoriumstoppedhiminthemiddleofoneofhisspeechesandaraspingvoiceinformedhimthathewasdoingitallwrong.

"Ibegyourpardon?"saidMr.Hill,quietlybutdangerously,steppingtothefootlights.

"Allwrong!"repeatedMr.Goble.

"Really?"WentworthHill,whoafewyearsearlierhadspentseveraltermsatOxfordUniversitybeforebeingsentdownforaggravateddisorderliness,hadbroughtlittleawaywithhimfromthatseatoflearningexcepttheOxfordmanner.ThishenowemployeduponMr.Goblewithanicyseveritywhichputthelasttouchtothemanager'sfermentingstateofmind."Perhapsyouwouldbekindenoughtotellmejusthowyouthinkthatpartshouldbeplayed?"

Mr.Goblemarcheddowntheaisle.

"Speakouttotheaudience,"hesaid,stationinghimselfbytheorchestrapit."You'returningyourheadawayallthedarnedtime."

"Imaybewrong,"saidMr.Hill,"butIhaveplayedacertainamount,don'tyouknow,inprettygoodcompanies,andIwasalwaysunderthe

impressionthatoneshouldaddressone'sremarkstothepersononewasspeakingto,notdeliverarecitationtothegallery.Iwastaughtthatthatwasthelegitimatemethod."

ThewordtouchedoffallthedynamiteinMr.Goble.Ofallthingsinthetheatrehedetestedmostthe"legitimatemethod."Hisideaofproducingwastoinstructthecasttocomedowntothefootlightsandhanditto'em.Thesepeoplewholookedup-stageandtalkedtotheaudiencethroughthebacksoftheirnecksrevoltedhim.

"Legitimate!That'sahellofathingtobe!Wheredoyougetthatlegitimatestuff?Youaren'tplayingIbsen!"

"NoramIplayingaknockaboutvaudevillesketch."

"Don'ttalkbackatme!"

"Kindlydon'tshoutat_me_!Yourvoiceisunpleasantenoughwithoutyourraisingit."

OpendefiancewasathingwhichMr.Goblehadneverencounteredbefore,andforamomentitdeprivedhimofbreath.Herecoveredit,however,almostimmediately.

"You'refired!"

"Onthecontrary,"saidMr.Hill,"I'mresigning."Hedrewagreen-coveredscriptfromhispocketandhandeditwithanairtothepallidassistantstage-director.Then,moregracefullythaneverFreddieRookehadmanagedtomovedown-stageunderthetuitionofJohnsonMiller,hemovedup-stagetotheexit."Itrustthatyouwillbeabletofindsomeonewhowillplaythepartaccordingtoyourideas!"

"I'llfind,"bellowedMr.Gobleathisvanishingback,"achorus-manwho'llplayitadamnedsightbetterthanyou!"Hewavedtothe



assistantstage-director."Sendthechorus-menonthestage!"

"Allthegentlemenofthechorusonthestage,please!"shrilledtheassistantstage-director,boundingintothewingslikearetriever."Mr.Goblewantsallthechorus-gentlemenonthestage!"

Therewasamoment,whenthesevenmalemembersof"TheRoseofAmerica"ensemblelinedupself-consciouslybeforehisgleamingeyes,whenMr.Goblerepentedofhisbravewords.AnuncomfortablefeelingpassedacrosshismindthatFatehadcalledhisbluffandthathewouldnotbeabletomakegood.Allchorus-menareexactlyalike,andtheyarelikenothingelseonearth.EvenMr.Goble,anxiousashewastooverlooktheirdeficiencies,couldnotpersuadehimselfthatintheirranksstoodevenanadequateLordFinchley.

Andthen,justasacoldreactionfromhisfervidmoodwasabouttosetin,heperceivedthatProvidencehadbeengoodtohim.There,attheextremeendoftheline,stoodayoungmanwho,asfarasappearancewent,wastheidealLordFinchley--asfarasappearancewent,afarbetterLordFinchleythanthelateMr.Hill.Hebeckonedimperiously.

"Youattheend!"

"Me?"saidtheyoungman.

"Yes,you.What'syourname?"

"Rooke.FrederickRooke,don'tyouknow."

"You'reEnglish,aren'tyou?"

"Eh?Oh,yes,absolutely!"

"Everplayedapartbefore?"

"Part?Oh,Iseewhatyoumean.Well,inamateurtheatricals,you

know,andallthatsortofrot."

HiswordsweremusictoMr.Goble'sears.HefeltthathisNapoleonicactionhadjustifieditselfbysuccess.Hisfurylefthim.Ifhehadbeencapableofbeaming,onewouldhavesaidthathebeamedatFreddie.

"Well,youplaythepartofLordFinchleyfromnowon.Cometomyofficethisafternoonforyourcontract.Clearthestage.We'vewastedenoughtime."

Fiveminuteslater,inthewings,Freddie,receivingcongratulationsfromNellyBryant,assertedhimself.

"_Not_theAutomatto-day,I_think_,what?NowthatI'majollyoldstarandallthatsortofthing,itcan'tbedone.Directlythisisoverwe'llrollroundtotheCosmopolis.Aslightcelebrationisindicated,what?Rightho!Rallyround,dearheart,rallyround!"

CHAPTERXV



JILLEXPLAINS

I

ThelobbyoftheHotelCosmopolisistheexactcentreofNewYork,thespotwhereatcertainhoursoneissureofmeetingeverybodyoneknows.ThefirstpersonthatNellyandFreddiesaw,astheypassedthroughtheswingdoors,wasJill.Shewasseatedonthechairbythebigpillarinthemiddleofthehall.

"Whatho!"saidFreddie."Waitingforsomeone?"

"Hullo,Freddie.Yes,I'mwaitingforWallyMason.Igotanotefromhimthismorning,askingmetomeethimhere.I'malittleearly.Ihaven'tcongratulatedyouyet.You'rewonderful!"

"Thanks,oldgirl.Ouryounghero_is_makingprettyheftystridesinhischosenprofesh,what?Mr.Rooke,whoappearsquitesimpleandunspoiledbysuccess,repliedtoourrepresentative'senquiryastohisfutureplans,thatheproposedtostaggerintothegrill-roomandimbibeabouteighteendollars'worthoflunch.Yes,it_is_abitofallright,takingitbyandlarge,isn'tit?Imeantosay,the

salary,thejollyoldsalary,youknow...quiteahelpwhenafellow'slostallhismoney!"

JillwassurprisedtoobservethattheLastoftheRookeswascontortinghisfaceinanunsightlymannerthatseemedtobeanattemptatawink,pregnantwithhiddenmeaning.Shetookhercuedutifully,thoughwithoutunderstanding.

"Oh,yes,"shereplied.

Freddieseemedgrateful.Withacordial"Cheerio!"heledNellyofftothegrill-room.

"Ididn'tknowJillknewMr.Mason,"saidNelly,astheysatdownattheirtable.

"No?"saidFreddieabsently,runninganexperiencedeyeoverthebilloffare.Hegaveanelaborateorder."Whatwasthat?Oh,absolutely!JillandIandWallywerechildrentogether."

"Howfunnyyoushouldallbetogetheragainlikethis."

"Yes.Oh,goodLord!"

"What'sthematter?"

"It'snothing.ImeanttosendacabletoapalofmineinEngland,I'llsenditafterlunch."

Freddietookouthishandkerchief,andtiedaknotinit.Hewasslightlyashamedofthenecessityoftakingsuchaprecaution,butitwasbettertobeonthesafeside.HisinterviewwithJillatthetheatrehadlefthimwiththeconvictionthattherewasonlyonethingforhimtodo,andthatwastocablepooroldDerektoforgetimpendingelectionsandalltherestofitandpopovertoAmericaatonce.Heknewthathewouldneverhavethecouragetore-openthe



matterwithJillhimself.Asanambassadorhewasaspentforce.IfJillwastobewooedfromhermoodofintractibility,Derekwastheonlymantodoit.Freddiewasconvincedthat,seeinghiminperson,shewouldmeltandfallintohisarms.Toodashedabsurd,Freddiefelt,twolovingheartsbeingseparatedlikethisandallthatsortofthing.Hereplacedhishandkerchiefinhispocket,relieved,andconcentratedhimselfontheentertainmentofNelly.Asimpletaskforthelongerhewaswiththisgirl,theeasierdiditseem,totalktoher.

Jill,leftaloneinthelobby,wasfindingthemomentspassquitepleasantly.Shelikedwatchingthepeopleastheycamein.Oneortwoofthegirlsofthecompanyflutteredinlikebirds,wereswoopeduponbytheircavaliers,andflutteredofftothegrill-room.Thered-headedBabepassedherwithagenialnod,and,shortlyafter,LoisDenham,thewillowyrecipientofsunburstsfromherfriendIzzyofthehat-checks,camebyincompanywithasallow,hawk-facedyoungmanwithafurtiveeye,whomJilltook--correctly--tobeIzzyhimself.Loiswaslookingpaleandproud,and,fromthefewwordswhichcametoJill'searsastheynearedher,seemedtobeannoyedathavingbeenkeptwaiting.

Itwasimmediatelyafterthisthattheswing-doorsrevolvedrathermoreviolentlythanusual,andMr.Gobleburstintoview.

TherewasaclouduponMr.Goble'sbrow,seemingtoindicatethathisgrievanceagainstlifehadnotyetbeensatisfactorilyadjusted;butitpassedashesawJill,andhecameuptoherwithwhathewouldprobablyhaveclaimedtobeaningratiatingsmile.

"Hullo!"saidMr.Goble."Allalone?"

Jillwasabouttosaythattheconditionwasmerelytemporarywhenthemanagerwenton.

"Comeandhaveabitoflunch."

"Thankyouverymuch,"saidJill,withthepolitenessofdislike,"butI'mwaitingforsomeone."

"Chuckhim!"advisedMr.Goblecordially.

"No,thanks,Icouldn't,really."

ThecloudbegantodescendagainuponMr.Goble'sbrow.Hewasaccustomedtohavingtheseinvitationsofhistreatedasroyalcommands.

"Comealong!"

"I'mafraidit'simpossible."

Mr.Goblesubjectedhertoaprolongedstare,seemedabouttospeak,changedhismind,andswungoffmoodilyinthedirectionofthegrill-room.Hewasnotusedtothissortoftreatment.

Hehadhardlygone,whenWallyappeared.

"Whatwashesayingtoyou?"demandedWallyabruptly,withoutpreliminarygreeting.



"Hewasaskingmetolunch."

Wallywassilentforamoment.Hisgood-naturedfaceworeanunwontedscowl.

"Hewentinthere,ofcourse?"hesaid,pointingtothegrill-room.

"Yes."

"Thenlet'sgointotheotherroom,"saidWally.Heregainedhisgoodhumour."Itwasawfullygoodofyoutocome.Ididn'tknowwhetheryouwouldbeableto."

"Itwasveryniceofyoutoinviteme."

Wallygrinned.

"Howperfectourmannersare!It'satreattolisten!HowdidyouknowthatthatwastheonehatinNewYorkIwantedyoutowear?"

"Oh,thesethingsgetabout.Doyoulikeit?"

"It'swonderful.Let'stakethistable,shallwe?"

II

Theysatdown.Thedim,tapestry-hungroomsoothedJill.Shewasfeelingalittletiredaftertherehearsal.Atthefarendoftheroomanorchestrawasplayingatunethatsherememberedandliked.HermindwentbacktothelastoccasiononwhichsheandWallyhadsatoppositeeachotheratarestaurant.Howlongagoitseemed!ShereturnedtothepresenttofindWallyspeakingtoher.

"Youleftverysuddenlytheothernight,"saidWally.

"Ididn'twanttomeetFreddie."

Wallylookedathercommiseratingly.

"Idon'twanttospoilyourlunch,"hesaid,"butFreddieknowsall.Hehastrackedyoudown.HemetNellyBryant,whomheseemstohavemadefriendswithinLondon,andshetoldhimwhereyouwereandwhatyouweredoing.Foragirlwhofledathismereapproachthenightbeforelast,youdon'tseemveryagitatedbythenews,"hesaid,asJillburstintoapealoflaughter.

"Youhaven'theard?"

"Heardwhat?"

"FreddiegotMr.Pilkingtontoputhiminthechorusofthepiece.HewasrehearsingwhenIarrivedatthetheatrethismorning,andhavingaterribletimewithMr.Miller.And,lateron,Mr.GoblehadaquarrelwiththemanwhowasplayingtheEnglishman,andthemanthrewuphispart,andMr.Goblesaidhecouldgetanyoneinthechorustoplayitjustaswell,andhechoseFreddie.SonowFreddieisoneoftheprincipals,andburstingwithpride!"



Wallythrewhisheadbackandutteredaroarofappreciationwhichcausedaluncherataneighbouringtabletodropanoysterwhichhewaspoisinginmid-air.

"Don'tmakesuchanoise!"saidJillseverely."Everyone'slookingatyou."

"Imust!It'sthemostpricelessthingIeverheard.I'vealwaysmaintainedandIalwayswillmaintainthatforpurelunacynothingcantouchthemusicalcomedybusiness.Thereisn'tanythingthatcan'thappeninmusicalcomedy.'AliceinWonderland'isnothingtoit."

"Haveyoufeltthat,too?That'sexactlyhowIfeel.It'slikeaperpetual'MadHatter'sTea-Party.'"

"ButwhatonearthmadeFreddiejointhecompanyatall?"

AsuddengravitydescendeduponJill.Thewordshadremindedherofthethingwhichshewasperpetuallystrivingtokeepoutofherthoughts.

"Hesaidhewantedtobetheretokeepaneyeonme."

Gravityisinfectious.Wally'ssmiledisappeared.He,too,hadbeen

recalledtothoughtswhichwerenotpleasant.

Wallycrumbledhisroll.Therewasaseriousexpressiononhisface.

"Freddiewasquiteright.Ididn'tthinkhehadsomuchsense."

"Freddiewasnotright,"flaredJill.Therecollectionofherconversationwiththatprominentartiststillhadthepowertofireherindependentsoul."I'mnotachild.Icanlookaftermyself.WhatIdoismyownbusiness."

"I'mafraidyou'regoingtofindthatyourbusinessisseveralpeople'sbusiness.Iaminterestedinitmyself.Idon'tlikeyour

beingonthestage.Nowbitemyheadoff!"

"It'sverykindofyoutobotheraboutme...."

"Isaid'Bitemyheadoff!'Ididn'tsay'Freezeme!'Itakethelicenceofanoldfriendwhoinhistimehasputwormsdownyourback,andIrepeat--Idon'tlikeyourbeingonthestage."

"Ishouldn'thavethoughtyouwouldhavebeenso"--Jillsoughtforadevastatingadjective--"somid-Victorian!"

"Asfarasyouareconcerned,I'mthemiddestVictorianinexistence.Midismymiddlename."Wallymetherindignantgazesquarely.

"I--do--not--like--your--being--on--the--stage!EspeciallyinanycompanywhichIkeGobleisrunning."

"WhyMr.Gobleparticularly?"

"Becauseheisnotthesortofmanyououghttobecomingincontactwith."

"Whatnonsense!"



"Itisn'tnonsenseatall.Isupposeyou'vereadalotaboutthemoralsoftheatricalmanagers...."

"Yes.Anditseemedtobeexaggeratedandsilly."

"Soitis.There'snothingwrongwithmostofthem.Asageneralthing,theyareverydecentfellows--extraordinarilydecentifyouthinkofthepositiontheyarein.Idon'tsaythatinabusinesswaythere'smuchtheywon'ttrytoputoveronyou.Inthetheatre,whenitcomestobusiness,everythinggoesexceptbitingandgouging.'There'sneveralawofGodormanrunsnorthoffifty-three.'Ifyoualterthatto'northofForty-firstStreet'itdoesn'tscanaswell,butit'sjustastrue.PerhapsitwouldbemoreaccuratetosaythattheGoldenRuleissuspendedthere.Yougetusedtoitafteryouhavebeeninthetheatreforawhile,and,exceptforleavingyourwatchandpocket-bookathomewhenyouhavetopayacallonamanagerandkeepingyourfacetohimsothathecan'tgetawaywithyourbackcollar-stud,youdon'ttakeanynoticeofit.It'sallagame.Ifamanagerswindlesyou,hewinstheholeandtakesthehonour.Ifyoufoilhim,youareoneup.Ineithercase,itmakesnodifferencetothepleasantnessofyourrelations.Yougooncallinghimbyhisfirstname,andhegivesyouacoupleofcigarsoutofhiswaistcoatpocketandsaysyou'reagoodkid.Thereisnothingpersonalinit.Hehasprobablydonehisbestfriendoutofafewthousanddollarsthesame

morning,andyouseethemlunchingtogetheraftertheceremonyashappilyaspossible.You'vegottomakeallowancesformanagers.Theyarethevictimsofheredity.Whenaburglarmarriesahat-checkgirl,theiroffspringgoesintothetheatricalbusinessautomatically,andhecan'tshakeofftheearlyteachingwhichheimbibedathisfather'sknee.Butmorals...."

Wallybrokeofftoallowthewaitertoplaceafriedsolebeforehim.Waitersalwaysselectthemomentwhenwearetalkingourbesttointrudethemselves.

"Asregardsmorals,"resumedWally,"thatisadifferentmatter.Mostmanagersarerespectable,middle-agedmenwithwivesandfamilies.

Theyareinthebusinesstomakemoney,andtheydon'twantanythingelseoutofit.Thegirlsintheircompaniesarelikesomanyclerkstothem,justmachinesthathelptobringthemoneyin.Theydon'tknowhalfadozenofthemtospeakto.ButourgenialIkeisnotlikethat."Wallyconsumedamouthfulofsole."IkeGobleisabadcitizen.Hepaws!He'saslinkerandaprowlerandaleerer.He'sapestandaworm!He'sfatandsoftandflabby.Hehasagreasysoul,awitheredheart,andaneyelikeacodfish.Notknockinghim,ofcourse!"addedWallymagnanimously."Farbeitfrommetoknockanyone!But,speakingwiththeutmostrespectandviewinghiminthemostfavourablelight,heisacombinationoftom-catandthethingsyouseewhenyouturnoveraflatstone!SucharethereasonswhyIamsorrythatyouareinhiscompany."

Jillhadlistenedtothisdiatribewithacertainuneasiness.HerbriefencounterswithMr.Gobletoldherthateverywordwasprobablytrue.ShecouldstillfeeltheunpleasantsensationofbeinginspectedbytheeyewhichWallyhadcompared--quitejustly--tothatofacodfish.Butherprideforbadeanyadmissionofweakness.

"Icantakecareofmyself,"shesaid.

"Idon'tdoubtit,"saidWally."Andyoucouldprobablytakecareof



yourselfifyoufellintoamuddypond.ButIshouldn'tliketostandonthebankandwatchyoudoingit.Iknowwhatgirlsinthechorushavetogothrough.Hangingaboutforhoursindraughts,doingnothing,whiletheprincipalsgothroughtheirscenes,andyelledatiftheytrytorelievethetediumofcaptivitywithalittlelightconversation...."

"Yes,"admittedJill."Therehasbeenagoodlotofthat."

"Therealwaysis.Ibelieveifthestage-carpenterwasgoingtostickascrewinaflat,theywouldcallachorus-rehearsaltowatchhimdoit....Jill,youmustgetoutofit.It'snolifeforyou.Thework...."

"Ilikethework."

"Whileit'snew,perhaps,but...."

Jillinterruptedhimpassionately.

"Oh,can'tyouunderstand!"shecried."Iwantthework.Ineedit.Iwantsomethingtodo,somethingtooccupymymind.Ihatetalkingaboutit,butyouknowhowthingsarewithme.Freddiemusthavetoldyou.Evenifhedidn't,youmusthaveguessed,meetingmehereall

aloneandrememberinghowthingswerewhenwelastmet.Youmustunderstand!Haven'tyoueverhadaterribleshockoradreadfuldisappointmentthatseemedtosmashupthewholeworld?Anddidn'tyoufindthattheonlypossiblethingtodowastoworkandworkandworkashardaseveryoucould?WhenIfirstcametoAmerica,Inearlywentmad.UncleChrissentmedowntoaplaceonLongIsland,andIhadnothingtodoalldaybutthink.Icouldn'tstandit.IranawayandcametoNewYorkandmetNellyBryantandgotthisworktodo.Itsavedme.Itkeptmebusyalldayandtiredmeoutanddidn'tgivemetimetothink.Theharderitis,thebetteritsuitsme.It'sanantidote.Isimplywouldn'tgiveitupnow.Asforwhatyouweresaying,Imustputupwiththat.Theothergirlsdo,sowhyshouldn'tI?"

"Theyaretoughenedtoit."

"ThenImustgettoughenedtoit.Whatelseisthereformetodo?Imustdosomething."

"Marryme!"saidWally,reachingacrossthetableandputtinghishandonhers.Thelightinhiseyeslituphishomelyfacelikealantern.

III

ThesuddennessofitstartledJillintosilence.Shesnatchedherhand

awayanddrewback,lookingathiminwonderment.Shewasconfusedlyawareofababbleofsound--peopletalking,peoplelaughing,theorchestraplayingalivelytune.Allhersensesseemedtohavebecomesuddenlymoreacute.Shewasintenselyalivetosmalldetails.Then,abruptly,thewholeworldcondenseditselfintotwoeyesthatwerefasteneduponhers--compellingeyeswhichshefeltapanicdesiretoavoid.

Sheturnedherheadaway,andlookedoutintotherestaurant.Itseemedincrediblethatallthesepeople,placidlyintentupontheir



foodandtheirsmalltalk,shouldnotbestaringather,wonderingwhatshewasgoingtosay;nudgingeachotherandspeculating.Theirdetachmentmadeherfeelaloneandhelpless.Shewasnothingtothemandtheydidnotcarewhathappenedtoher,justasshehadbeennothingtothosefrozenmarshesdownatBrookport.Shewasaloneinanindifferentworld,withherownproblemstosettleforherself.

OthermenhadaskedJilltomarrythem--afulldozenofthem,hereandthereincountryhousesandatLondondances,beforeshehadmetandlovedDerekUnderhill;butnothingthatshehadhadinthewayofexperiencehadpreparedherforWally.Theseothershadgivenhertimetomarshalherforces,tocollectherself,toweighthemthoughtfullyinthebalance.Beforespeaking,theyhadsignalledtheirdevotioninahundredperceptibleways--bytheirpinkness,theirstammeringawkwardness,bytheglassylookintheireyes.Theyhadnotshotaproposalatherlikeabulletfromoutofthecoverofaconversationthathadnothingtodowiththeiremotionsatall.

Yet,nowthattheshockofitwasdyingaway,shebegantoremembersignsshewouldhavenoticed,speecheswhichoughttohavewarnedher....

"Wally!"shegasped.

ShefoundthatheaffectedherinanentirelydifferentfashionfromthelucklessdozenofthoseLondondays.Heseemedtomattermore,tobemoreimportant,almost--thoughsherebelledattheword--moredangerous.

"Letmetakeyououtofitall!Youaren'tfitforthissortoflife.Ican'tbeartoseeyou...."

Jillbentforwardandtouchedhishand.Hestartedasthoughhehadbeenburned.Themusclesofhisthroatwereworking.

"Wally,it's--"Shepausedforaword."Kind"washorrible.Itwouldhavesoundedcold,almostsupercilious."Sweet"wasthesortofthing

shecouldimagineLoisDenhamsayingtoherfriendIzzy.Shebeganhersentenceagain."You'readeartosaythat,but...."

Wallylaughedchokingly.

"YouthinkI'maltruistic?I'mnot.I'mjustasselfishandself-centredasanyothermanwhowantsathingverybadly.I'masaltruisticasachildcryingforthemoon.IwantyoutomarrymebecauseIloveyou,becausethereneverwasanybodylikeyou,becauseyou'rethewholeworld,becauseIalwayshavelovedyou.I'vebeendreamingaboutyouforadozenyears,thinkingaboutyou,wonderingaboutyou--wonderingwhereyouwere,whatyouweredoing,howyoulooked.Iusedtothinkthatitwasjustsentimentality,thatyou

merelystoodforatimeofmylifewhenIwashappierthanIhaveeverbeensince.IusedtothinkthatyouwerejustasortofpegonwhichIwashangingapleasantsentimentalregretfordayswhichcouldnevercomeback.Youwereamemorythatseemedtopersonifyalltheothermemoriesofthebesttimeofmylife.Youwerethegoddessofoldassociations.ThenImetyouinLondon,anditwasdifferent.Iwantedyou--_you_!Ididn'twantyoubecauseyourecalledoldtimesandwereassociatedwithdeadhappiness,Iwanted_you_!IknewIlovedyoudirectlyyouspoketomeatthetheatrethatnightofthefire.Ilovedyourvoiceandyoureyesandyoursmileandyourcourage.And



thenyoutoldmeyouwereengaged.Imighthaveexpectedit,butIcouldn'tkeepmyjealousyfromshowingitself,andyousnubbedmeasIdeserved.Butnow...thingsaredifferentnow.Everything'sdifferent,exceptmylove."

Jillturnedherfacetothewallbesideher.Amanatthenexttable,acorpulent,red-facedman,hadbeguntostare.Hecouldhaveheardnothing,forWallyhadspokeninalowvoice;butplainlyhewasawarethatsomethingmoreinterestingwashappeningattheirtablethanatanyoftheothertables,andhewaswatchingwithabovineinquisitivenesswhichaffectedJillwithasenseofoutrage.Amomentbefore,shehadresentedtheindifferenceoftheouterworld.Now,thisonestaringmanseemedlikeawatchingmultitude.Thereweretearsinhereyes,andshefeltthatthered-facedmansuspectedit.

"Wally...."Hervoicebroke."It'simpossible."

"Why?Why,Jill?"

"Because....Oh,it'simpossible!"

Therewasasilence.

"Because...."Heseemedtofindadifficultyinspeaking."Becauseof

Underhill?"

Jillnodded.Shefeltwretched.Themonstrousincongruityofhersurroundingsoppressedher.Theorchestrahaddashedintoarollickingmelody,whichsetherfoottappinginspiteofherself.Atanear-bytablesomebodywasshoutingwithlaughter.Twowaitersataservice-standwerecloseenoughforhertocatchsnatchesoftheirtalk.Theywerearguingaboutanorderoffriedpotatoes.Onceagainherfeelingsveeredround,andsheloathedthedetachmentoftheworld.HerheartachedforWally.Shecouldnotlookathim,butsheknewexactlywhatshewouldseeifshedid--honest,pleadingeyessearchingherfaceforsomethingwhichshecouldnotgive.

"Yes,"shesaid.

Thetablecreaked.Wallywasleaningfurtherforward.Heseemedlikesomethinglargeandpathetic--abigdogintrouble.Shehatedtobehurtinghim.Andallthetimeherfoottappedaccompanimenttotherag-timetune.

"Butyoucan'tliveallyourlifewithamemory,"saidWally.

Jillturnedandfacedhim.Hiseyesseemedtoleapather,andtheywerejustasshehadpicturedthem.

"Youdon'tunderstand,"shesaidgently."Youdon'tunderstand."

"It'sended.It'sover."

Jillshookherhead.

"Youcan'tstilllovehim,afterwhathashappened!"

"Idon'tknow,"saidJillunhappily.

ThewordsseemedtobewilderWallyasmuchastheyhadbewildered



Freddie.

"Youdon'tknow?"

Jillshuthereyestight.Wallyquivered.Itwasatrickshehadhadasachild.Inperplexity,shehadalwaysscreweduphereyesjustlikethat,asiftoshutherselfupinherself.

"Don'ttalkforaminute,Wally,"shesaid."Iwanttothink."

Hereyesopened.

"It'slikethis,"shesaid.Hehadseenherlookathiminexactlythesamewayahundredtimes."Idon'tsupposeIcanmakeyouunderstand,butthisishowitis.Supposeyouhadaroom,anditwasfull--ofthings.Furniture.Andtherewasn'tanyspaceleft.You--youcouldn'tputanythingelseintillyouhadtakenallthatout,couldyou?Itmightnotbeworthanything,butitwouldstillbethere,takingupalltheroom."

Wallynodded.

"Yes,"hesaid."Isee."

"Myheart'sfull,Wallydear.Iknowit'sjustlumberthat'schokingitup,butit'sdifficulttogetitout.Ittakestimegettingitout.Iputitin,thinkingitwaswonderfulfurniture,themostwonderfulintheworld,and--Iwascheated.Itwasjustlumber.Butit'sthere.It'sstillthere.It'sthereallthetime.AndwhatamItodo?"

Theorchestracrashed,andwassilent.Thesuddenstillnessseemedtobreakaspell.Theworldinvadedthelittleislandwheretheysat.Achatteringpartyofgirlsandmenbrushedpastthem.Thewaiter,judgingthattheyhadbeentherelongenough,slippedastripofpaper,decorouslyturnedupsidedown,infrontofWally.Hetookthemoney,andwentawaytogetchange.

WallyturnedtoJill.

"Iunderstand,"hesaid."Allthishasn'thappened,andwe'rejustasgoodpalsasbefore?"

"Yes."

"But...."Heforcedalaugh..."markmywords,atimemaycome,andthen...!"

"Idon'tknow,"saidJill.

"Atimemaycome,"repeatedWally."Atanyrate,letmethinkso.It

hasnothingtodowithme.It'sforyoutodecide,absolutely.I'mnotgoingtopursueyouwithmyaddresses!Ifeveryougetthatroomofyoursemptied,youwon'thavetohangouta'ToLet'sign.Ishallbewaiting,andyouwillknowwheretofindme.And,inthemeantime,yourstocommand,WallaceMason.Isthatclear?"

"Quiteclear."Jilllookedathimaffectionately."There'snobodyI'dratheropenthatroomtothanyou,Wally.Youknowthat."

"Isthatthesolemntruth?"



"Thesolemntruth."

"Then,"saidWally,"intwominutesyouwillseeastartledwaiter.Therewillbeaboutfourteendollarschangeoutofthattwentyhetookaway.I'mgoingtogiveitalltohim."

"Youmustn't!"

"Everycent!"saidWallyfirmly."AndtheyoungGreekbrigandwhostolemyhatatthedoorisgoingtogetadollar!That,asourasceticandhonourablefriendGoblewouldsay,isthesortoflittleguy_I_am!"

*****

Thered-facedmanatthenexttableeyedthemastheywentout,leavingbehindthemawaiterwhoclutchedtotteringlyforsupportatthebackofachair.

"Hadarow,"hedecided,"butmadeitup."

Hecalledforatoothpick.

CHAPTERXVI

MR.GOBLEPLAYSWITHFATE

I

OntheboardwalkatAtlanticCity,thatmuch-enduringseashoreresortwhichhasbeenthebirthplaceofsomanymusicalplays,therestandsanall-dayandall-nightrestaurant,underthesamemanagementand

offeringthesamehospitalityastheoneinColumbusCircleatwhichJillhadtakenherfirstmealonarrivinginNewYork.Atleast,itshospitalityisnoisyduringthewakingandworkinghoursoftheday;buttherearemomentswhenithasanalmostcloistralpeace,andthecustomer,abashedbythecoldcalmofitssnowymarbleandthesilentgravityofthewhite-robedattendants,unconsciouslylowershisvoiceandtriestokeephisfeetfromshuffling,likeoneinatemple.Themembersofthechorusof"TheRoseofAmerica,"droppinginbyonesandtwosatsixo'clockinthemorningabouttwoweeksaftertheeventsrecordedinthelastchapter,spokeinwhispersandgavetheirordersforbreakfastinasubduedundertone.

Thedress-rehearsalhadjustdraggeditswearylengthtoaclose.It

isthecustomofthedwellersinAtlanticCity,whoseemtoliveentirelybypleasure,toattendaspeciesofvaudevilleperformances--incorrectlytermedasacredconcert--onSundaynights,andithadbeenoneo'clockinthemorningbeforetheconcertscenerycouldbemovedoutofthetheatreandthefirstactsetof"TheRoseofAmerica"movedin.And,asbysomeunwrittenlawofthedramanodress-rehearsalcanbeginwithoutadelayofatleastanhourandahalf,thecurtainhadnotgoneuponMr.Miller'sopeningchorustillhalf-pasttwo.Therehadbeendress-parades,conferences,interminableargumentsbetweenthestage-directorandamysteriousmanin



shirt-sleevesaboutthelights,moredress-parades,furtherconferences,hitcheswithregardtothesets,andanotheroutbreakofdebateonthesubjectofblues,ambers,andthemanagementofthe"spot,"whichwasworkedbyaplaintivevoice,answeringtothenameofCharlie,atthebackofthefamilycircle.Butbysixo'clockacomplete,ifragged,performancehadbeengiven,andthechorus,whohadpartakenofnonourishmentsincedinneronthepreviousnight,hadlimpedoffroundthecornerforabiteofbreakfastbeforegoingtobed.

Theywereabatteredandadraggledcompany,somewithdarkcirclesbeneaththeireyes,othersbloomingwiththeunnaturalscarletofthemake-upwhichtheyhadbeentootiredtotakeoff.TheDuchess,haughtytothelast,hadfallenasleepwithherheadonthetable.Thered-headedBabewaslyingbackinherchair,staringattheceiling.TheSoutherngirlblinkedlikeanowlatthemorningsunshineoutontheboardwalk.

TheCherub,whosetriumphantyouthhadbroughtheralmostfreshthroughasleeplessnight,contributedtheonlyremarkmadeduringtheintervalofwaitingforthemeal.

"Thefascinationofathtagelife!Whygirlsleavehome!"Shelookedatherreflectioninthelittlemirrorofhervanity-bag."It_is_a

face!"shemurmuredreflectively."ButIshouldhatetohavetogoaroundwithitlong!"

Asallowyoungman,withthealertnesspeculiartothosewhoworkonthenight-shiftsofrestaurants,dumpedatraydownonthetablewithaclatter.TheDuchesswokeup.Babetookhereyesofftheceiling.TheSoutherngirlceasedtolookatthesunshine.Already,atthemeresightoffood,theextraordinaryrecuperativepowersofthetheatricalworkerhadbeguntoassertthemselves.Infiveminutesthesegirlswouldbefeelingcompletelyrestoredandfitforanything.

Conversationbrokeoutwiththefirstsipofcoffee,andthecalmoftherestaurantwasshattered.Itsdayhadbegun.

"It'sagreatlifeifyoudon'tweaken,"saidtheCherubhungrilyattackingheromelette."Andtheworthtisyettocome!Ithupposeallyouolddearsrealithethatthisshowwillhavetoberewrittenfromendtoend,andwe'llberehearthingdayandnightallthetimewe'reontheroad."

"Why?"LoisDenhamspokewithhermouthfull."What'swrongwithit?"

TheDuchesstookasipofcoffee.

"Don'tmakemelaugh!"shepleaded."What'swrongwithit?What'srightwithit,onewouldfeelmoreinclinedtoask!"

"Onewouldfeelthtillmoreinclined,"saidtheCherub,"toathkwhyonewasthuchachumpastoletoneselfinforthissortofthingwhenonehearsonallsidesthatwaitressesearnthixtydollarsamonth."

"Thenumbersareallright,"arguedBabe."Idon'tmeanthemelodies,butJohnnyhasarrangedsomegoodbusiness."

"Healwaysdoes,"saidtheSoutherngirl."Somemorebuckwheatcakes,please.Butwhataboutthebook?"



"Ineverlistentothebook."

TheCherublaughed.

"You'retoogoodtoyourself!Ilistenedtoitrightalong,andtakeitfrommeit'ssad!Ofcourthethey'llhaveitfixed.Wecan'topeninNewYorklikethis.Myprofessionalreputationwouldn'tthtandit!Didn'tyoutheeWallyMasoninfront,makingnotes?They'vegothimdowntodothere-writing."

Jill,whohadbeenlisteninginadazedwaytotheconversation,fightingagainstthewavesofsleepwhichfloodedoverher,wokeup.

"WasWally--wasMr.Masonthere?"

"Sure.Sittingattheback."

Jillcouldnothavesaidwhethershewasgladorsorry.ShehadnotseenWallysincethatafternoonwhentheyhadlunchedtogetherattheCosmopolis,andtherushofthefinalweeksofrehearsalshadgivenherlittleopportunityforthinkingofhim.Atthebackofhermindhadbeenthefeelingthatsoonerorlatershewouldhavetothinkofhim,butfortwoweeksshehadbeentootiredandtoobusyto

re-examinehimasafactorinherlife.Therehadbeentimeswhenthethoughtofhimhadbeenlikethesunshineonawinterday,warmingherwithalmostanimpersonalglowinmomentsofdepression.Andthensomesharp,poignantmemoryofDerekwouldcometoblothimout.

Shecameoutofherthoughtstofindthatthetalkhadtakenanotherturn.

"Andtheworthtofitis,"theCherubwassaying,"weshallrehearthealldayandgiveashoweverynightandworkourselvestothebone,andthen,whenthey'regoodandready,they'llfireoneofus!"

"That'sright!"agreedtheSoutherngirl.

"Theycouldn't!"Jillcried.

"Youwait!"saidtheCherub."They'llneveropeninNewYorkwiththirteengirls.Ike'smuchtoothuperstitious."

"Buttheywouldn'tdoathinglikethatafterwe'veallworkedsohard!"

Therewasageneralburstofsardoniclaughter.Jill'sopinionofthechivalryoftheatricalmanagersseemedtobehigherthanthatofhermoreexperiencedcolleagues.

"They'lldoanything,"theCherubassuredher.

"Youdon'tknowthehalfofit,dearie,"scoffedLoisDenham."Youdon'tknowthehalfofit!"

"Waittillyou'vebeeninasmanyshowsasIhave,"saidBabe,shakingherredlocks."Theusualthingistokeepagirlslavingherheadoffallthroughtheroad-tourandthenfireherbeforetheNewYorkopening."



"Butit'sashame!Itisn'tfair!"

"Ifoneisexpectingtobetreatedfairly,"saidtheDuchesswithaprolongedyawn,"oneshouldnotgointotheshow-business."

And,havingutteredthisprofoundlytruemaxim,shefellasleepagain.

TheslumberoftheDuchesswasthesignalforageneralmove.Hersomnolencewascatching.Therestorativeeffectsofthemealwerebeginningtowearoff.Therewasacallforachorusrehearsalatfouro'clock,anditseemedthewisemovetogotobedandgetsomesleepwhiletherewastime.TheDuchesswasrousedfromherdreamsbymeansofapieceoficefromoneofthetumblers;billswerepaid;andthecompanypouredout,yawningandchattering,intothesunlightoftheemptyboardwalk.

Jilldetachedherselffromthegroup,andmadeherwaytoaseatfacingthesea.Tirednesshadfallenuponherlikealeadenweight,crushingallthepoweroutofherlimbs,andthethoughtofwalkingtotheboarding-housewhere,frommotivesofeconomy,shewassharingaroomwiththeCherub,paralysedher.

Itwasaperfectmorning,clearandcloudless,withthewarmfreshnessofadaythatmeanstobehotterlateron.Theseasparkled

inthesun.Littlewavesbrokelazilyonthegreysand.Jillclosedhereyes,forthebrightnessofsunandwaterwastrying;andherthoughtswentbacktowhattheCherubhadsaid.

IfWallywasreallygoingtorewritetheplay,theywouldbethrowntogether.Shewouldbeobligedtomeethim,andshewasnotsurethatshewasreadytomeethim.Still,hewouldbesomebodytotalktoonsubjectsotherthantheoneeternaltopicofthetheatre,somebodywhobelongedtotheoldlife.ShehadceasedtoregardFreddieRookeinthislight;forFreddie,solemnwithhisnewresponsibilitiesasaprincipal,wasthemostwhole-hearteddevoteeof"shop"inthecompany.Freddienowadaysdeclinedtoconsideranysubjectforconversationthatdidnothavetodowith"TheRoseofAmerica"in

generalandhisshareinitinparticular.Jillhadgivenhimup,andhehadpairedoffwithNellyBryant.Thetwowereinseparable.Jillhadtakenoneortwomealswiththem,butFreddie'sprofessionalmonologues,ofwhichNellyseemednevertoweary,weretoomuchforher.Asaresultshewasnowverymuchalone.Thereweregirlsinthecompanywhomsheliked,butmostofthemhadtheirownintimatefriends,andshewasalwaysconsciousofnotbeingreallywanted.Shewaslonely,and,afterexaminingthematterasclearlyashertiredmindwouldallow,shefoundherselfcuriouslysoothedbythethoughtthatWallywouldbeneartomitigateherloneliness.

Sheopenedhereyes,blinking.Sleephadcreptuponherwithaninsidioussuddenness,andshehadalmostfallenoverontheseat.She

wasjustbracingherselftogetupandbeginthelongtramptotheboarding-house,whenavoicespokeatherside.

"Hullo!Goodmorning!"

Jilllookedup.

"Hullo,Wally!"

"Surprisedtoseeme?"



"No.MillyTrevorsaidshehadseenyouattherehearsallastnight."

Wallycameroundthebenchandseatedhimselfatherside.Hiseyesweretired,andhischindarkandbristly.

"Hadbreakfast?"

"Yes,thanks.Haveyou?"

"Notyet.Howareyoufeeling?"

"Rathertired."

"Iwonderyou'renotdead.I'vebeenthroughagoodmanydress-rehearsals,butthisonewastherecord.Whytheycouldn'thavehaditcomfortablyinNewYorkandjusthaverunthroughthepiecewithoutscenerylastnight,Idon'tknow,exceptthatinmusicalcomedyit'setiquettealwaystodothemostinconvenientthing.Theyknowperfectlywellthattherewasnochanceofgettingthesceneryintothetheatretillthesmallhours.Youmustbewornout.Whyaren'tyouinbed?"

"Icouldn'tfacethewalk.IsupposeIoughttobegoing,though."

Shehalfrose,thensankbackagain.Theglitterofthewaterhypnotizedher.Sheclosedhereyesagain.ShecouldhearWallyspeaking,thenhisvoicegrewsuddenlyfaintandfaroff,andsheceasedtofightthedeliciousdrowsiness.

Jillawokewithastart.Sheopenedhereyes,andshutthemagainatonce.Thesunwasverystrongnow.ItwasoneofthoseprematurelywarmdaysofearlySpringwhichhaveallthelanguorousheatoflatesummer.Sheopenedhereyesoncemore,andfoundthatshewasfeelinggreatlyrefreshed.ShealsodiscoveredthatherheadwasrestingonWally'sshoulder.

"HaveIbeenasleep?"

Wallylaughed.

"Youhavebeenhavingwhatyoumightcallanap."Hemassagedhisleftarmvigorously."Youneededit.Doyoufeelmorerestednow?"

"Goodgracious!HaveIbeensquashingyourpoorarmallthetime?Whydidn'tyoumove?"

"Iwasafraidyouwouldfallover.Youjustshutyoureyesandtoppledsideways."

"What'sthetime?"

Wallylookedathiswatch.

"Justonten."

"Ten!"Jillwashorrified."Why,Ihavebeengivingyoucrampforaboutthreehours!Youmusthavehadanawfultime!"

"Oh,itwasallright.IthinkIdozedoffmyself.Exceptthatthe



birdsdidn'tcomeandcoveruswithleaves;itwasratherlikethe'BabesintheWood.'"

"Butyouhaven'thadanybreakfast!Aren'tyoustarving?"

"Well,I'mnotsayingIwouldn'tspearafriedeggwithsomevimifithappenedtofloatpast.Butthere'splentyoftimeforthat.Lotsofdoctorssayyououghtn'ttoeatbreakfast,andIndianfakirsgowithoutfoodfordaysatatimeinordertodeveloptheirsouls.ShallItakeyoubacktowhereveryou'restaying?Yououghttogetapropersleepinbed."

"Don'tdreamoftakingme.Gooffandhavesomethingtoeat."

"Oh,thatcanwait.I'dliketoseeyousafelyhome."

Jillwasconsciousofarenewedsenseofhiscomfortingness.Therewasnodoubtaboutit,Wallywasdifferentfromanyothermanshehadknown.Shesuddenlyfeltguilty,asifshewereobtainingsomethingvaluableunderfalsepretences.

"Wally!"

"Hullo?"

"You--yououghtn'ttobesogoodtome!"

"Nonsense!Where'stheharminlendingahand--or,rather,anarm--toapalintrouble?"

"YouknowwhatImean.Ican't...thatistosay...itisn'tasthough...Imean...."

Wallysmiledatired,friendlysmile.

"Ifyou'retryingtosaywhatIthinkyou'retryingtosay,don't!Wehadallthatouttwoweeksago.Iquiteunderstandtheposition.You

mustn'tworryyourselfaboutit."Hetookherarm,andtheycrossedtheboardwalk."Arewegoingintherightdirection?Youleadtheway.Iknowexactlyhowyoufeel.We'reoldfriends,andnothingmore.But,asanoldfriend,Iclaimtherighttobehavelikeanoldfriend.Ifanoldfriendcan'tbehavelikeanoldfriend,how_can_anoldfriendbehave?Andnowwe'llrulethewholetopicoutoftheconversation.Butperhapsyou'retootiredforconversation?"

"Oh,no."

"ThenIwilltellyouaboutthesaddeathofyoungMr.Pilkington."

"What!"

"Well,whenIsaydeath,Iusethewordinaloosesense.Thehumangiraffestillbreathes,andIimagine,fromthespeedwithwhichheleggeditbacktohishotelwhenweparted,thathestilltakesnourishment.Butreallyheisdead.Hisheartisbroken.Wehadaconferenceafterthedress-rehearsal,andourfriendMr.Gobletoldhiminnouncertainwords--inthewholecourseofmyexperienceIhaveneverheardwordslessuncertain--thathisdamnedrottenhigh-browfalse-alarmofashow--IamquotingMr.Goble--wouldhavetoberewrittenbyalienhands.Andthesearethem!Ontheright,alien



righthand.Ontheleft,alienlefthand.Yes,IamtheinstrumentselectedforthemurderofPilkington'sartisticaspirations.I'mgoingtorewritetheshow.Infact,Ihavealreadyrewrittenthefirstactandmostofthesecond.Gobleforesawthiscontingencyandtoldmetogetbusytwoweeksago,andI'vebeenworkinghardeversince.Weshallstartrehearsingthenewversionto-morrowandopeninBaltimorenextMondaywithpracticallyadifferentpiece.Andit'sgoingtobeapippin,believe_me_,saidourheromodestly.Agangofcomposershasbeenworkinginshiftsfortwoweeks,and,bychuckingoutnearlyalloftheoriginalmusic,weshallhaveagoodscore.Itmeansalotofworkforyou,I'mafraid.Allthebusinessofthenumberswillhavetobere-arranged."

"Ilikework,"saidJill."ButI'msorryforMr.Pilkington."

"He'sallright.Heownsseventypercentoftheshow.Hemaymakeafortune.He'scertaintomakeacomfortablesum.Thatis,ifhedoesn'tsellouthisinterestinpique--ordudgeon,ifyoupreferit.Fromwhathesaidatthecloseoftheproceedings,Ifancyhewouldsellouttoanybodywhoaskedhim.Atleast,hesaidthathewashedhishandsofthepiece.He'sgoingbacktoNewYorkthisafternoon--won'tevenwaitfortheopening.Ofcourse,_I'm_sorryforthepoorchapinaway,buthehadnoright,withtheexcellentcentralideawhichhegot,toturnoutsucharottenbook.Oh,bythe

way!"

"Yes?"

"Anothertragedy!Unavoidable,butpathetic.PooroldFreddie!He'sout!"

"Oh,no!"

"Out!"repeatedWallyfirmly.

"Butdidn'tyouthinkhewasgoodlastnight?"

"Hewasawful!Butthatisn'twhy.GoblewantedhispartrewrittenasaScotchman,soastogetMcAndrew,thefellowwhomadesuchahitlastseasonin'Hoots,Mon!'Thatsortofthingisalwayshappeninginmusicalcomedy.Youhavetofitpartstosuitwhatevergoodpeoplehappentobeavailableatthemoment.MyheartbleedsforFreddie,butwhatcanonedo?Atanyrateheisn'tsobadlyoffasafellowwasinoneofmyshows.Inthesecondacthewassupposedtohaveescapedfromanasylum,andthemanagement,inapassionforrealism,insistedthatheshouldshavehishead.Thedayafterheshavedit,theyheardthatasuperiorcomedianwasdisengagedandfiredhim.It'saruthlessbusiness."

"Thegirlsweresayingthatoneofuswouldbedismissed."

"Oh,Ishouldn'tthinkthat'slikely."

"Ihopenot."

"SodoI.Whatarewestoppingfor?"

Jillhadhaltedinfrontofashabby-lookinghouse,oneofthosedepressingbuildingswhichspringupovernightatseashoreresortsandstarttodecaythemomentthebuildershaveleftthem.



"Ilivehere."

"Here?"Wallylookedatherinconsternation."But...."

Jillsmiled.

"Weworking-girlshavegottoeconomize.Besides,it'squitecomfortable--fairlycomfortable--inside,andit'sonlyforaweek."Sheyawned."IbelieveI'mfallingasleepagain.I'dbetterhurryinandgotobed.Good-bye,Wallydear.You'vebeenwonderful.Mindyougoandgetagoodbreakfast."

II

WhenJillarrivedatthetheatreatfouro'clockforthechorusrehearsal,theexpectedblowhadnotfallen.NostepshadapparentlybeentakentoeliminatethethirteenthgirlwhosepresenceinthecastpreyedonMr.Goble'ssuperstitiousmind.Butshefoundhercolleaguesstillinaconditionofpessimisticforeboding."Wait!"wasthegloomywatchwordof"TheRoseofAmerica"chorus.

Therehearsalpassedoffwithoutevent.Itlasteduntilsixo'clock,

whenJill,theCherub,andtwoorthreeoftheothergirlswenttosnatchahastydinnerbeforereturningtothetheatretomakeup.Itwasnotacheerfulmeal.Reactionhadsetinaftertheover-exertionofthepreviousnight,anditwastooearlyforfirst-nightexcitementtotakeitsplace.Everybody,eventheCherub,whosespiritsseldomfailedher,wasdepressed,andtheideaofanoverhangingdoomhadgrown.Itseemednowtobemerelyaquestionofspeculatingonthevictim,andtheconversationgaveJill,asthelastadditiontothecompany,andsothecauseofswellingtheranksofthechorustotheunluckynumber,afeelingofguilt.Shewasgladwhenitwastimetogobacktothetheatre.

Themomentsheandhercompanionsenteredthedressing-room,itwas

madecleartothemthatthedoomhadfallen.Inachairinthecorner,allherpretenceandaffectationsweptawayinafloodoftears,sattheunhappyDuchess,thecentreofagroupofgirlsanxioustoconsole,butlimitedintheirideasofconsolationtoanoccasionalpatonthebackandanofferofafreshpocket-handkerchief.

"It'stough,honey!"somebodywassayingasJillcamein.

Somebodyelsesaiditwasfierce,andathirdgirldeclaredittobethelimit.Afourthgirl,well-meaningbutlesshelpfulthanshewouldhavelikedtobe,wasadvisingthevictimnottoworry.

Thestoryofthedisasterwasbriefandeasilytold.TheDuchess,

sailinginatthestage-door,hadpausedattheletterboxtoseeifCuthbert,herfaithfulauto-salesman,hadsentheragood-lucktelegram.Hehad,buthisgoodwisheswereunfortunatelyneutralizedbythefactthattheverynextletterintheboxwasonefromthemanagement,crispandtothepoint,informingtheDuchessthatherserviceswouldnotberequiredthatnightorthereafter.Itwasthesubtlemeannessoftheblowthatrousedtheindignationof"TheRoseofAmerica"chorus,thecunningvillainywithwhichithadbeentimed.

"PoorMae,ifshe'dopenedto-night,they'dhavehadtogivehertwo



weeks'noticeorhersalary.Buttheycanfireherwithoutacentjustbecauseshe'sonlybeenrehearsingandhasn'tgivenashow!"

TheDuchessburstintofreshfloodoftears.

"Don'tyouworry,honey!"advisedthewell-meaninggirlwhowouldhavebeeninherelementlookinginonJobwithBildadtheShuhiteandhisfriends."Don'tyouworry!"

"It'stough!"saidthegirlwhohadadoptedthatformofverbalconsolation.

"It'sfierce!"saidthegirlwhopreferredthatadjective.

Theothergirl,withanairofsayingsomethingnew,repeatedherstatementthatitwasthelimit.TheDuchesscriedforlornlythroughout.Shehadneededthisengagementbadly.Chorussalariesarenotstupendous,butitispossibletosavemoneybymeansofthemduringaNewYorkrun,especiallyifyouhavespentthreeyearsinamilliner'sshopandcanmakeyourownclothes,astheDuchess,inspiteofherairofbeingturnedoutbyFifthAvenuemodistes,couldanddid.Shehadbeenlookingforward,nowthatthisabsurdpiecewastoberewrittenbysomeonewhoknewhisbusinessandhadagoodchanceofsuccess,toputtingbyjustthosefewdollarsthatmakeallthe

differencewhenyouareembarkingonmarriedlife.Cuthbert,forallhisfaithfulness,couldnotholdupthefinancialendoftheestablishmentunsupportedforatleastanothereighteenmonths;andthisdisastermeantthattheweddingwouldhavetobepostponedagain.SotheDuchess,abandoningthataristocraticmannercriticizedbysomeofhercolleaguesas"up-stage"andbyothersas"Ritz-y,"satinherchairandconsumedpocket-handkerchiefsasfastastheywereofferedtoher.

Jillhadbeentheonlygirlintheroomwhohadspokennowordofconsolation.ThiswasnotbecauseshewasnotsorryfortheDuchess.Shehadneverbeensorrierforanyoneinherlife.Thepathosofthatswiftdescentfromhaughtinesstomiseryhadbittendeepintoher

sensitiveheart.Butsherevoltedattheideaofechoingthebanalwordsoftheothers.Wordswerenogood,shethought,asshesetherlittleteethandglaredatanabsentmanagement--amanagementjustaboutnowpresumablydistendingitselfwithaluxuriousdinneratoneofthebighotels.Deedswerewhatshedemanded.Allherlifeshehadbeenagirlofimpulsiveaction,andshewantedtoactimpulsivelynow.ShewasinmuchthesameBerserkmoodashadswepther,raging,tothedefenceofBilltheparrotontheoccasionofhisdisputewithHenryofLondon.Thefightingspiritwhichhadbeendrainedfromherbytheall-nightrehearsalhadcomebackinfullmeasure.

"Whatareyougoingto_do_?"shecried."Aren'tyougoingto_do_ something?"

Do?Themembersof"TheRoseofAmerica"ensemblelookeddoubtfullyatoneanother.Do?Ithadnotoccurredtothemthattherewasanythingtobedone.Thesethingshappened,andyouregrettedthem,butasfordoinganything,well,what_could_youdo?

Jill'sfacewaswhiteandhereyeswereflaming.ShedominatedtheroomfulofgirlslikealittleNapoleon.Thechangeinherstartledthem.Hithertotheyhadalwayslookedonherasratheranunusuallyquietgirl.Shehadalwaysmadeherselfunobtrusivelypleasanttothem



all.Theyalllikedher.Buttheyhadneversuspectedherofpossessingthismilitantquality.Nobodyspoke,buttherewasageneralstir.Shehadflunganewideabroadcast,anditwasbeginningtotakeroot.Dosomething?Well,ifitcametothat,whynot?

"Weoughtalltorefusetogoonto-nightunlesstheylethergoon!"Jilldeclared.

Thestirbecameamovement.Enthusiasmiscatching,andeverygirlisatheartarebel.Andtheideawasappealingtotheimagination.Refusetogiveashowontheopeningnight!Hadachoruseverdonesuchathing?Theytrembledonthevergeofmakinghistory.

"Strike?"quaveredsomebodyattheback.

"Yes,strike!"criedJill.

"Hooray!That'sthethtuff!"shoutedtheCherub,andturnedthescale.Shewasapopulargirl,andheradherencetotheCauseconfirmedthedoubters."Thtrike!"

"Strike!Strike!"

JillturnedtotheDuchess,whohadbeengapingamazedlyatthe

demonstration.Shenolongerwept,butsheseemedinadream.

"Dressandgetreadytogoon,"Jillcommanded."We'llalldressandgetreadytogoon.ThenI'llgoandfindMr.Gobleandtellhimwhatwemeantodo.And,ifhedoesn'tgivein,we'llstayhereinthisroom,andtherewon'tbeaperformance!"

III

Mr.Goble,withaDerbyhatonthebackofhisheadandanunlightedcigarinthecornerofhismouth,wassuperintendingtheerectionofthefirstactsetwhenJillfoundhim.Hewasstandingwithhisback

tothesafety-curtaingloweringatabluecanvas,supposedtorepresentoneofthosepicturesquesummerskieswhichyougetatthebestplacesonLongIsland.Jill,comingdown-stagefromthestaircasethatledtothedressing-room,interruptedhislineofvision.

"Getoutofthelight!"bellowedMr.Goble,alwaysamanofdirectspeech,adding"Damnyou!"forgoodmeasure.

"Pleasemovetooneside,"interpretedthestage-director."Mr.Gobleislookingattheset."

Theheadcarpenter,whocompletedthelittlegroup,saidnothing.Stagecarpentersalwayssaynothing.Longassociationwithfussy

directorshastaughtthemthattheonlypolicytopursueonopeningnightsistowithdrawintothesilence,wrapthemselvesupinit,andnotemergeuntiltheenemyhasgrowntiredandgoneofftoworrysomebodyelse.

"Itdon'tlookright!"saidMr.Goble,cockinghisheadononeside.

"Iseewhatyoumean,Mr.Goble,"assentedthestage-directorobsequiously."Ithasperhapsalittletoomuch--er--notquiteenough--yes,Iseewhatyoumean!"



"It'stoo--damn--BLUE!"raspedMr.Goble,impatientofthevacillatingcriticism."That'swhat'sthematterwithit."

Theheadcarpenterabandonedthesilentpolicyofalifetime.Hefeltimpelledtoutter.Hewasamanwho,whennotatthetheatre,spentmostofhistimeinbed,readingall-fictionmagazines;butitsohappenedthatonce,lastsummer,hehadactuallyseenthesky;andheconsideredthatthisentitledhimtospeakalmostasaspecialistonthesubject.

"Thersky_is_blue!"heobservedhuskily."Yessir!Iseenit!"

Hepassedintothesilenceagain,and,topreventafurtherlapse,stoppeduphismouthwithapieceofchewing-gum.

Mr.Gobleregardedthesilver-tonguedoratorwrathfully.Hewasnotaccustomedtochatterboxesarguingwithhimlikethis.Hewouldprobablyhavesaidsomethingmomentousandcrushing,butatthispointJillintervened.

"Mr.Goble."

Themanagerswungroundonher.

"What_is_it?"

Itissadtothinkhowswiftlyaffectioncanchangetodislikeinthisworld.Twoweeksbefore,Mr.GoblehadlookedonJillwithfavour.Shehadseemedgoodinhiseyes.Butthatrefusalofherstolunchwithhim,followedbyarefusalsomedayslatertotakeabitofsuppersomewhere,hadalteredhisviewsonfemininecharm.Ifithadbeenlefttohim,asmostthingswereaboutthistheatre,todecidewhichofthethirteengirlsshouldbedismissed,hewouldundoubtedlyhaveselectedJill.ButatthisstageintheproceedingstherewastheunfortunatenecessityofmakingconcessionstothetemperamentalJohnsonMiller.Mr.Goblewasawarethatthedance-director'sservices

wouldbebadlyneededinthere-arrangementofthenumbersduringthecomingweekorso,andheknewthattherewereadozenmanagerswaitingeagerlytowelcomehimifhethrewuphispresentjob,sohehadbeenobligedtoapproachhiminquiteahumblespiritandenquirewhichofhisfemalechoruscouldbemosteasilyspared.And,astheDuchesshadahabitofcarryingherhaughtylanguorontothestageandemployingitasasubstituteforthechoreawhichwasMr.Miller'sideal,thedance-directorhadchosenher.ToMr.Goble'sdislikeofJill,therefore,wasaddednowsomethingofthefuryofthebaffledpotentate.

"'Jerwant?"hedemanded.

"Mr.Gobleisextremelybusy,"saidthestage-director."Extremely."

AmomentarydoubtastothebestwayofapproachinghersubjecthadtroubledJillonherwaydownstairs,but,nowthatshewasonthebattlefieldconfrontingtheenemy,shefoundherselfcool,collected,andfullofacoldragewhichsteeledhernerveswithoutconfusinghermind.

"IcametoaskyoutoletMaeD'Arcygoonto-night."



"Whothehell'sMaeD'Arcy?"Mr.Goblebrokeofftobellowatascene-shifterwhowasdepositingthewallofMrs.StuyvesantvanDyke'sLongIslandresidencetoofardownstage."Notthere,youfool!Higherup!"

"Yougavehernoticethisevening,"saidJill.

"Well,whataboutit?"

"Wewantyoutowithdrawit."

"Who's'we'?"

"Theothergirlsandmyself."

Mr.GoblejerkedhisheadsoviolentlythattheDerbyhatflewoff,tobepickedup,dusted,andrestoredbythestage-director.

"Oh,soyoudon'tlikeit?Well,youknowwhatyoucando...."

"Yes,"saidJill,"wedo.Wearegoingtostrike."

"What?"

"Ifyoudon'tletMaegoon,weshan'tgoon.Therewon'tbeaperformanceto-night,unlessyouliketogiveonewithoutachorus."

"Areyoucrazy?"

"Perhaps.Butwe'requiteunanimous."

Mr.Goble,likemosttheatricalmanagers,wasnotgoodatwordsovertwosyllables.

"You'rewhat?"

"We'vetalkeditover,andwe'vealldecidedtodowhatIsaid."

Mr.Goble'shatshotoffagain,andgambolledawayintothewings,withthestage-directorboundingafteritlikearetriever.

"Whoseidea'sthis?"demandedMr.Goble.Hiseyeswerealittlefoggy,forhisbrainwasadjustingitselfbutslowlytothenovelsituation.

"Mine."

"Oh,yours!Ithoughtasmuch!"

"Well,"saidJill,"I'llgobackandtellthemthatyouwillnotdowhatweask.Wewillkeepourmake-uponincaseyouchangeyour

mind."

Sheturnedaway.

"Comeback!"

Jillproceededtowardthestaircase.Asshewent,ahuskyvoicespokeinherear.

"Gotoit,kid!You'reallright!"



Thehead-carpenterhadbrokenhisTrappistvowstwiceinasingleevening,athingwhichhadnothappenedtohimsincethenightthreeyearsago,when,sinkingwearilyintoaseatinadarkcornerforabitofarest,hefoundthatoneofhisassistantshadplacedapotofredpaintthere.

IV

ToMr.Goble,fermentingandfullofstrangeoaths,enteredJohnsonMiller.Thedance-directorwasalwaysedgeyonfirstnights,andduringtheforegoingconversationhadbeenflittingaboutthestagelikeawhite-hairedmoth.Hisdeafnesshadkepthimincompleteignorancethattherewasanythinguntowardafoot,andhenowapproachedMr.Goblewithhiswatchinhishand.

"Eighttwenty-five,"heobserved."Timethosegirlswereonstage."

Mr.Goble,gladofaconcretetargetforhiswrath,cursedhiminabouttwohundredandfiftyrichandwell-selectedwords.

"Huh?"saidMiller,handtoear.

Mr.Goblerepeatedthelasthundredandelevenwords,thepickofthebunch.

"Can'thear!"saidMr.Millerregretfully."Gotacold."

ThegravedangerthatMr.Goble,athick-neckedman,wouldundergosomesortofastrokewasavertedbythepresenceofmindofthestage-director,who,returningwiththehat,presenteditlikeabouquettohisemployer,andthen,hishandsbeingnowunoccupied,formedthemintoafunnelandthroughthisflesh-and-bloodmegaphoneendeavouredtoimpartthebadnews.

"Thegirlssaytheywon'tgoon!"

Mr.Millernodded.

"I_said_itwastimetheywereon."

"They'reonstrike!"

"It'snot,"saidMr.Millerausterely,"whatthey_like_,it'swhatthey'repaidfor.Theyoughttobeonstage.Weshouldberingingupintwominutes."

Thestage-directordrewanotherbreath,thenthoughtbetterofit.Hehadawifeandchildren,and,ifdaddawentunderwithapoplexy,what

becameofthehome,civilization'smostsacredproduct?Herelaxedthemusclesofhisdiaphragm,andreachedforpencilandpaper.

Mr.Millerinspectedthemessage,feltforhisspectacle-case,foundit,openedit,tookouthisglasses,replacedthespectacle-case,feltforhishandkerchief,polishedtheglasses,replacedthehandkerchief,puttheglasseson,andread.Ablanklookcameintohisface.

"Why?"heenquired.



Thestage-director,withanodoftheheadintendedtoimplythathemustbepatientandallwouldcomerightinthefuture,recoveredthepaper,andscribbledanothersentence.Mr.Millerperusedit.

"BecauseMaeD'Arcyhasgothernotice?"hequeried,amazed."Butthegirlcan'tdanceastep."

Thestage-director,bymeansofawaveofthehand,aliftingofbotheyebrows,andawrinklingofthenose,repliedthatthesituation,unreasonableasitmightappeartothethinkingman,wasashehadstatedandmustbefaced.What,heenquired--throughthemediumofacleverdroopingofthemouthandashrugoftheshoulders--wastobedoneaboutit?

Mr.Millerremainedforamomentinmeditation.

"I'llgoandtalktothem,"hesaid.

Heflittedoff,andthestage-directorleanedbackagainsttheasbestoscurtain.Hewasexhausted,andhisthroatwasinagony,butneverthelesshewasconsciousofafeelingofquiethappiness.HislifehadbeenlivedintheshadowoftheconstantfearthatsomedayMr.Goblemightdismisshim.Shouldthatdisasteroccur,hefelttherewasalwaysafutureforhiminthemovies.

ScarcelyhadMr.Millerdisappearedonhispeace-makingerrand,whentherewasanoiselikeafowlgoingthroughaquicksethedge,andMr.Saltzburg,brandishinghisbatonasifhewereconductinganunseenorchestra,plungedthroughthesceneryattheleftupperentranceandchargedexcitedlydownthestage.Havingtakenhismusicianstwicethroughtheoverture,hehadfortenminutesbeensittinginsilence,waitingforthecurtaintogoup.Atlast,hisemotionalnaturecrackingunderthestrainofthissuspense,hehadlefthisconductor'schairandplungeddownunderthestagebywayofthemusician'sboltholetoascertainwhatwascausingthedelay.

"Whatisit?Whatisit?Whatisit?Whatisit?"enquiredMr.

Saltzburg."Iwaitandwaitandwaitandwaitandwait....Wecannotplaytheovertureagain.Whatisit?Whathashappened?"

Mr.Goble,thatoverwroughtsoul,hadbetakenhimselftothewingswherehewasstridingupanddownwithhishandsbehindhisback,chewinghiscigar.Thestage-directorbracedhimselfoncemoretothetaskofexplanation.

"Thegirlshavestruck!"

Mr.Saltzburgblinkedthroughhisglasses.

"Thegirls?"herepeatedblankly.

"Oh,damnit!"criedthestage-director,hispatienceatlastgivingway."Youknowwhatagirlis,don'tyou?"

"Theyhavewhat?"

"Struck!Walkedoutonus!Refusedtogoon!"

Mr.Saltzburgreeledundertheblow.



"Butitisimpossible!Whoistosingtheopeningchorus?"

Inthepresenceofonetowhomhecouldrelievehismindwithoutfearofconsequences,thestage-directorbecamesavagelyjocular.

"That'sallarranged,"hesaid."We'regoingtodressthecarpentersinskirts.Theaudiencewon'tnoticeanythingwrong."

"ShouldIspeaktoMr.Goble?"queriedMr.Saltzburgdoubtfully.

"Yes,ifyoudon'tvalueyourlife,"returnedthestage-director.

Mr.Saltzburgpondered.

"Iwillgoandspeaktothechildrun,"hesaid."Iwilltalktothem.Theyknow_me_!Iwillmakethembereasonable."

HebustledoffinthedirectiontakenbyMr.Miller,hiscoat-tailsflyingbehindhim.Thestage-director,withatiredsigh,turnedtofaceWally,whohadcomeinthroughtheironpass-doorfromtheauditorium.

"Hullo!"saidWallycheerfully."Goingstrong?How'severybodyathome?Fine?SoamI!Bytheway,amIwrongordidIhearsomething

aboutatheatricalentertainmentofsomesorthereto-night?"Helookedabouthimattheemptystage.Inthewings,onthepromptside,couldbediscernedtheflannel-cladformsofthegentlemanlymembersofthemaleensemble,alldressedupforMrs.StuyvesantvanDyke'stennisparty.Oneortwooftheprincipalswerestandingperplexedlyinthelowerentrance.TheO.P.sidehadbeengivenoverbygeneralconsenttoMr.Gobleforhisperambulations.Everynowandthenhewouldflashintoviewthroughanopeninginthescenery."Iunderstoodthatto-nightwasthenightforthegreatrevivalofcomicopera.Wherearethecomics,andwhyaren'ttheyopping?"

Thestage-directorrepeatedhisformulaoncemore.

"Thegirlshavestruck!"

"Sohavetheclocks,"saidWally."It'spastnine."

"Thechorusrefusetogoon."

"No,really!Justartisticloathingoftherottenpiece,oristheresomeotherreason?"

"They'resorebecauseoneofthemhasbeengivenhernotice,andtheysaytheywon'tgiveashowunlessshe'stakenback.They'vestruck.ThatMarinergirlstartedit."

"Shedid!"Wally'sinterestbecamekeener."Shewould!"hesaidapprovingly."She'saheroine!"

"Littledevil!Ineverlikedthatgirl!"

"Nowthere,"saidWally,"isjustthepointonwhichwediffer.Ihavealwayslikedher,andI'veknownherallmylife.So,shipmate,ifyouhaveanyderogatoryremarkstomakeaboutMissMariner,keepthemwheretheybelong--_there_!"Heproddedtheothersharplyinthestomach.Hewassmilingpleasantly,butthestage-director,catching



hiseye,decidedthathisadvicewasgoodandshouldbefollowed.Itisjustasbadforthehomeiftheheadofthefamilygetshisneckbrokenasifhesuccumbstoapoplexy.

"Yousurelyaren'tontheirside?"hesaid.

"Me!"saidWally."OfcourseIam.I'malwaysonthesideofthedown-troddenandoppressed.Ifyouknowofadirtiertrickthanfiringagirljustbeforetheopening,sothattheywon'thavetopayhertwoweeks'salary,mentionit.Tillyoudo,I'llgoonbelievingthatitisthelimit.OfcourseI'monthegirls'side.I'llmakethemaspeechiftheywantmeto,orheadtheprocessionwithabanneriftheyaregoingtoparadedowntheboardwalk.I'mfor'em,FatherAbraham,ahundredthousandstrong.Andthenafew!Ifyouwantmyconsideredopinion,ouroldfriendGoblehasaskedforitandgotit.AndI'mglad--glad--glad,ifyoudon'tmindmyquotingPollyannaforamoment.Ihopeitchokeshim!"

"You'dbetternotlethimhearyoutalkinglikethat!"

"_Aucontraire_,aswesayintheGayCity,I'mgoingtomakeapointoflettinghimhearmetalklikethat!AdjusttheimpressionthatIfearanyGobleinshiningarmour,becauseIdon't.Iproposetospeakmymindtohim.Iwouldbeardhiminhislair,ifhehadabeard.

Well,I'llclean-shavehiminhislair.Thatwillbejustasgood.Buthist!whomhavewehere?Tellme,doyouseethesamethingIsee?"

Likethevanguardofadefeatedarmy,Mr.Saltzburgwascomingdejectedlyacrossthestage.

"Well?"saidthestage-director.

"Theywouldnotlistentome,"saidMr.Saltzburgbrokenly."ThemoreItalkedthemoretheydidnotlisten!"Hewincedatapainfulmemory."MissTrevorstolemybaton,andthentheyalllinedupandsangthe'Star-SpangledBanner'!"

"Notthewords?"criedWallyincredulously."Don'ttellmetheyknewthewords!"

"Mr.Millerisstillupthere,arguingwiththem.Butitwillbeofnouse.Whatshallwedo?"askedMr.Saltzburghelplessly."Weoughttohaverunguphalfanhourago.Whatshallwedo-oo-oo?"

"WemustgoandtalktoGoble,"saidWally."Somethinghasgottobesettledquick.WhenIleft,theaudiencewasgettingsoimpatientthatIthoughthewasgoingtowalkoutonus.He'soneofthosenasty,determined-lookingmen.Socomealong!"

Mr.Goble,interceptedashewasabouttoturnforanotherwalk

up-stage,eyedthedeputationsourlyandputthesamequestionthatthestage-directorhadputtoMr.Saltzburg.

"Well?"

Wallycamebrisklytothepoint.

"You'llhavetogivein,"hesaid,"orelsegoandmakeaspeechtotheaudience,theburdenofwhichwillbethattheycanhavetheirmoneybackbyapplyingatthebox-office.TheseJoansofArchavegot



youbytheshorthairs!"

"Iwon'tgivein!"

"Thengiveout!"saidWally."Orpayout,ifyoupreferit.Trotalongandtelltheaudiencethatthefourdollarsfiftyinthehousewillberefunded."

Mr.Goblegnawedhiscigar.

"I'vebeenintheshowbusinessfifteenyears...."

"Iknow.Andthissortofthinghasneverhappenedtoyoubefore.Onegetsnewexperiences."

Mr.Goblecockedhiscigaratafierceangle,andglaredatWally.SomethingtoldhimthatWally'ssympathieswerenotwhollywithhim.

"Theycan'tdothissortofthingto_me_!"hegrowled.

"Well,theyaredoingittosomeone,aren'tthey,"saidWally,"and,ifit'snotyou,whoisit?"

"I'veadamnedgoodmindtofirethemall!"

"Acorkingidea!Ican'tseeasinglethingwrongwithitexceptthatitwouldhanguptheproductionforanotherfiveweeksandloseyouyourbookingsandcostyouaweek'srentofthistheatrefornothingandmeanhavingallthedressesmadeoverandleadtoallyourprincipalsgoingoffandgettingotherjobs.Thesetriflingthingsapart,wemaycallthesuggestionabrightone."

"Youtalktoodamnmuch!"saidMr.Goble,eyeinghimwithdistaste.

"Well,goon,_you_saysomething.Somethingsensible."

"Itisaveryserioussituation...."beganthestage-director.

"Oh,shutup!"saidMr.Goble.

Thestage-directorsubsidedintohiscollar.

"Icannotplaytheovertureagain,"protestedMr.Saltzburg."Icannot!"

AtthispointMr.Millerappeared.HewasgladtoseeMr.Goble.Hehadbeenlookingforhim,forhehadnewstoimpart.

"Thegirls,"saidMr.Miller,"havestruck!Theywon'tgoon!"

Mr.Goble,withthedespairinggestureofonewhorealizestheimpotenceofwords,dashedoffforhisfavouritewalkupstage.Wallytookouthiswatch.

"Sixsecondsandabit,"hesaidapprovingly,asthemanagerreturned."Averygoodperformance.Ishouldliketotimeyouoverthecourseinrunning-kit."

Theintervalforreflection,briefasithadbeen,hadapparentlyenabledMr.Gobletocometoadecision.



"Go,"hesaidtothestage-director,"andtell'emthatfoolofaD'Arcygirlcanplay.We'vegottogetthatcurtainup."

"Yes,Mr.Goble."

Thestage-directorgallopedoff.

"Getbacktoyourplace,"saidthemanagertoMr.Saltzburg,"andplaytheovertureagain."

"Again!"

"Perhapstheydidn'thearitthefirsttwotimes,"saidWally.

Mr.GoblewatchedMr.Saltzburgoutofsight.ThenheturnedtoWally.

"ThatdamnedMarinergirlwasatthebottomofthis!Shestartedthewholething!Shetoldmeso.Well,I'llsettle_her_!Shegoesto-morrow!"

"Waitaminute,"saidWally."Waitoneminute!Brightasitis,thatideais_out_!"

"Whatthedevilhasitgottodowithyou?"

"Onlythis,thatifyoufireMissMariner,ItakethatneatscriptwhichI'vepreparedandItearitintoathousandfragments.Orninehundred.Anyway,Itearit.MissMarineropensinNewYork,orIpackupmyworkandleave."

Mr.Goble'sgreeneyesglowed.

"Oh,you'restuckonher,areyou?"hesneered."Isee!"

"Listen,dearheart,"saidWally,grippingthemanager'sarm,"Icanseethatyouareonthevergeofintroducingpersonalitiesintothis

verypleasantlittlechat.Resisttheimpulse!Whynotletyourspinestaywhereitisinsteadofhavingitkickedupthroughyourhat?Keeptothemainissue.DoesMissMarineropeninNewYorkordoesshenot?"

Therewasatensesilence.Mr.Goblepermittedhimselfaswiftreviewofhisposition.HewouldhavelikedtodomanythingstoWally,beginningwithorderinghimoutofthetheatre,butprudencerestrainedhim.HewantedWally'swork.HeneededWallyinhisbusiness:and,inthetheatre,businesstakesprecedenceofpersonalfeelings.

"Allright!"hegrowledreluctantly.

"That'sapromise,"saidWally."I'llseethatyoukeepit."Helookedoverhisshoulder.Thestagewasfilledwithgaily-coloureddresses.Themutineershadreturnedtoduty."Well,I'llbegettingalong.I'mrathersorryweagreedtokeepclearofpersonalities,becauseIshouldhavelikedtosaythat,ifevertheyhaveaskunk-showatMadisonSquareGarden,yououghttoenter--andwintheblueribbon.Still,ofcourse,underouragreementmylipsaresealed,andIcan'tevenhintatit.Good-bye.Seeyoulater,Isuppose?"



Mr.Goble,givingacreditableimitationofalivingstatue,waspluckedfromhisthoughtsbyahanduponhisarm.ItwasMr.Miller,whoseunfortunateailmenthadpreventedhimfromkeepingabreastoftheconversation.

"Whatdidhesay?"enquiredMr.Miller,interested."Ididn'thearwhathesaid!"

Mr.Goblemadenoefforttoinformhim.

CHAPTERXVII

THECOSTOFAROW

I

OtisPilkingtonhadleftAtlanticCitytwohoursaftertheconferencewhichhadfollowedthedress-rehearsal,firmlyresolvednevertogonear"TheRoseofAmerica"again.Hehadbeenwoundedinhisfinestfeelings.Therehadbeenamoment,whenMr.Goblehadgivenhimthechoicebetween

havingthepiecerewrittenandcancellingtheproductionaltogether,whenhehadinclinedtotheheroiccourse.ButforonethingMr.Pilkingtonwouldhavedefiedthemanager,refusedtoallowhisscripttobetouched,andremovedtheplayfromhishands.Thatonethingwasthefactthat,uptothedayofthedress-rehearsal,theexpensesoftheproductionhadamountedtotheappallingsumofthirty-twothousandeighthundredandfifty-ninedollars,sixty-eightcents,allofwhichhadtocomeoutofMr.Pilkington'spocket.Thefigures,presentedtohiminaneatlytypewrittencolumnstretchingovertwolongsheetsofpaper,hadstunnedhim.Hehadhadnonotionthatmusicalplayscostsomuch.Thecostumesalonehadcometotenthousandsixhundredandsixty-threedollarsandfiftycents,andsomehowthatoddfiftycentsannoyedOtisPilkingtonasmuchasanythingonthelist.AdarksuspicionthatMr.Goble,whohadseentoallthe

executiveendofthebusiness,hadasecretarrangementwiththecostumerwherebyhereceivedaprivaterebate,deepenedhisgloom.Why,fortenthousandsixhundredandsixty-threedollarsandfiftycentsyoucoulddressthewholefemalepopulationofNewYorkStateandhaveabitleftoverforConnecticut.SothoughtMr.Pilkington,ashereadthebadnewsinthetrain.Heonlyceasedtobrooduponthehighcostofcostumingwheninthenextlinebutonetheresmotehiseyeanitemoffourhundredandninety-eightdollarsfor"Clothing."Clothing!Weren'tcostumesclothing?Whyshouldhehavetopaytwiceoverforthesamething?Mr.Pilkingtonwasjustragingoverthis,whensomethinglowerdowninthecolumncaughthiseye.Itwasthewords:--

Clothing....187.45

AtthisOtisPilkingtonutteredastifledcry,sosharpandsoanguishedthatanoldladyinthenextseat,whowasdrinkingaglassofmilk,droppeditandhadtorefundtherailwaycompanythirty-fivecentsforbreakages.FortheremainderofthejourneyshesatwithoneeyewarilyonMr.Pilkington,waitingforhisnextmove.

ThisadventurequietedOtisPilkingtondown,ifitdidnotsoothehim.Hereturnedblushinglytoaperusalofhisbillofcosts,nearlyeverylineofwhichcontainedsomeitemthatinfuriatedanddismayedhim.



"Shoes"($213.50)hecouldunderstand,butwhatonearthwas"Academy.Rehl.$105.50"?Whatwas"Cuts...$15"?Andwhatinthenameofeverythinginfernalwasthisitemfor"Frames,"inwhichmysteriousluxuryhehadapparentlyindulgedtotheextentofninety-fourdollarsandfiftycents?"Props"occurredonthelistnofewerthanseventeentimes.Whateverhisfuture,atwhateverpoor-househemightspendhisdecliningyears,hewassuppliedwithenoughpropstolasthislifetime.

OtisPilkingtonstaredblanklyatthescenerythatflittedpastthetrainwindows.(Scenery!Therehadbeentwochargesforscenery!"Friedmann,Samuel...Scenery...$3711"and"UnittandWickes...Scenery...$2120").Hewassufferingthetormentsoftheruinedgamesterattheroulette-table.Thirty-twothousandeighthundredandfifty-ninedollars,sixty-eightcents!AndhewasoutofpockettenthousandinadditionfromthechequehehadhandedovertwodaysagotoUncleChrisashisshareoftheinvestmentofstartingJillinthemotion-pictures.Itwasterrible!Itdeprivedoneofthepowerofthought.

Thepowerofthought,however,returnedtoMr.Pilkingtonalmostimmediately,for,rememberingsuddenlythatRolandTrevishadassuredhimthatnomusicalproduction,exceptoneofthoseelaborategirl-showswithachorusofninety,couldpossiblycostmorethan

fifteenthousanddollarsatanoutsidefigure,hebegantothinkaboutRolandTrevis,andcontinuedtothinkabouthimuntilthetrainpulledintothePennsylvaniaStation.

Foraweekormorethestrickenfinancierconfinedhimselfmostlytohisrooms,wherehesatsmokingcigarettes,gazingatJapaneseprints,andtryingnottothinkabout"props"and"rehl."Then,gradually,thealmostmaternalyearningtoseehisbrain-childoncemore,whichcanneverbewhollycrushedoutofayoungdramatist,returnedtohim--faintlyatfirst,thengettingstrongerbydegreestillitcouldnolongerberesisted.OtisPilkington,havinginstructedhisJapanesevalettopackafewsimplenecessariesinasuit-case,tookacabtotheGrandCentralStationandcaughtanafternoontrainforRochester,

wherehisrecollectionoftherouteplannedforthetourtoldhim"TheRoseofAmerica"wouldnowbeplaying.

Lookingintohisclubontheway,tocashacheque,thefirstpersonheencounteredwasFreddieRooke.

"Goodgracious!"saidOtisPilkington."Whatareyoudoinghere?"

Freddielookedupdullyfromhisreading.Theabruptstoppageofhisprofessionalcareer--hislife-work,onemightalmostsay--hadleftFreddieataverylooseend;andsohollowdidtheworldseemtohimatthemoment,souniformlyfutileallitsso-calledallurements,that,topassthetime,hehadjustbeentryingtoreadthe_National

GeographicMagazine_.

"Hullo!"hesaid."Well,mightaswellbehereasanywhere,what?"herepliedtotheother'squestion.

"Butwhyaren'tyouplaying?"

"Theysackedme!They'vechangedmyparttoaballyScotchman!Well,Imeantosay,Icouldn'tplayaballyScotchman!"



Mr.Pilkingtongroanedinspirit.Ofallthecharactersinhismusicalfantasyonwhichhepridedhimself,thatofLordFinchleywashispet.Andhehadbeenburked,murdered,blottedout,inordertomakeroomforaballyScotchman.

"Thecharacter'scalled'TheMcWhustleofMcWhustle'now!"saidFreddiesombrely.

TheMcWhustleofMcWhustle!Mr.PilkingtonalmostabandonedhistriptoRochesteronreceivingthisdevastatingpieceofinformation.

"HecomesoninActOneinkilts!"

"Inkilts!AtMrs.StuyvesantvanDyke'sgarden-party!OnLongIsland!"

"Itisn'tMrs.StuyvesantvanDykeanylonger,either,"saidFreddie."She'sbeenchangedtothewifeofapicklemanufacturer."

"Apicklemanufacturer!"

"Yes.Theysaiditoughttobeacomedypart."

IfagonyhadnotcausedMr.Pilkingtontoclutchforsupportatthe

backofachair,hewouldundoubtedlyhavewrunghishands.

"Butit_was_acomedypart!"hewailed."Itwasfullofthesubtlest,mostdelicatesatireonSociety.TheyweredelightedwithitatNewport!Oh,thisistoomuch!Ishallmakeastrongprotest!IshallinsistonthesepartsbeingkeptasIwrotethem!Ishall....Imustbegoingatonce,orIshallmissmytrain."Hepausedatthedoor."HowwasbusinessinBaltimore?"

"Rotten!"saidFreddie,andreturnedtohis_NationalGeographicMagazine_.

OtisPilkingtontotteredintohiscab.Hewasshatteredbywhathehad

heard.Theyhadmassacredhisbeautifulplayand,doingsohadnotevenmadeasuccessofitbytheirownsordidcommerciallights.BusinessatBaltimorehadbeenrotten!Thatmeantmoreexpense,furthercolumnsoffigureswith"frames"and"rehl."infrontofthem!Hestaggeredintothestation.

"Hey!"criedthetaxi-driver.

OtisPilkingtonturned.

"Sixty-fivecents,mister,if_you_please!ForgettingI'mnotyourprivateshovoor,wasn'tyou?"

Mr.Pilkingtongavehimadollar.Money--money!Lifewasjustonelongroundofpayingoutandpayingout.

II

ThedaywhichMr.PilkingtonhadselectedforhisvisittotheprovinceswasaTuesday."TheRoseofAmerica"hadopenedatRochesteronthepreviousnight,afteraweekatAtlanticCityinitsoriginalformandaweekatBaltimoreinwhatmightbecalleditssecond



incarnation.BusinesshadbeenbadinAtlanticCityandnobetterinBaltimore,andameagrefirst-nighthouseatRochesterhadgiventhepieceacoldreception,whichhadputthefinishingtouchestothedepressionofthecompanyinspiteofthefactthattheRochestercritics,likethoseofBaltimore,hadwrittenkindlyoftheplay.Oneofthemaximsofthetheatreisthat"out-of-townnoticesdon'tcount,"andthecompanyhadrefusedtobecheeredbythem.

Itistobedoubted,however,ifevencrowdedhouseswouldhavearousedmuchresponsefromtheprincipalsandchorusof"TheRoseofAmerica."Fortwoweekswithoutabreaktheyhadbeenworkingunderforceddraught,andtheywerewearyinbodyandspirit.Thenewprincipalshadhadtolearnpartsinexactlyhalfthetimeusuallygivenforthatpurpose,andthechorus,afterspendingfiveweeksassimilatingonesetofstepsandgroupings,hadbeencompelledtoforgetthemandrehearseanentirelynewset.FromthemorningafterthefirstperformanceatAtlanticCity,theyhadnotleftthetheatreexceptforsketchyhalf-hourmeals.

Jill,standinglistlesslyinthewingswhilethescene-shiftersarrangedtheSecondActset,wasawareofWallyapproachingfromthedirectionofthepass-door.

"MissMariner,Ibelieve?"saidWally."Isupposeyouknowyoulook

perfectlywonderfulinthatdress?AllRochester'stalkingaboutit,andthereissomeideaofrunningexcursiontrainsfromTroyandUtica.Agreatstirithasmade!"

Jillsmiled.Wallywaslikeatonictoherduringthesedaysofoverwork.Heseemedtobeentirelyunaffectedbythegeneraldepression,afactwhichheattributedhimselftothehappyaccidentofbeinginapositiontositbackandwatchtheotherstoil.ButinrealityJillknewthathewasworkingashardasanyone.Hewasworkingallthetime,changingscenes,addinglines,tinkeringwithlyrics,smoothingoverprincipalswhosenerveshadbecomestrainedbytheincessantrehearsing,keepingwithinboundsMr.Goble'spassionforbeingthebignoiseaboutthetheatre.Hischeerfulnesswasdueto

thespiritthatwasinhim,andJillappreciatedit.ShehadcometofeelveryclosetoWallysincethedrivingrushofmakingover"TheRoseofAmerica"hadbegun.

"Theyseemedquitecalmto-night,"shesaid."Ibelievehalfofthemwereasleep."

"They'realwayslikethatinRochester.Theycloaktheirdeeperfeelings.Theywearthemask.Butyoucantellfromtheglassylookintheireyesthattheyarereallyseethinginwardly.ButwhatIcameroundaboutwas--(a)--togiveyouthisletter...."

Jilltooktheletter,andglancedatthewriting.ItwasfromUncle

Chris.Sheplaceditontheaxeoverthefire-bucketsforperusallater.

"Themanatthebox-officegaveittome,"saidWally,"whenIlookedintheretofindouthowmuchmoneytherewasinthehouseto-night.Thesumwassosmallthathehadtowhisperit."

"I'mafraidthepieceisn'tasuccess."

"Nonsense!Ofcourseitis!We'redoingfine.Thatbringsmeto



theyarewonderingiftheyaregoingtorememberthesteps.Theshowhasn'thadtimetoclicktogetheryet.It'sjustragged.Takealookatitinanothertwoweeks!I_know_!Idon'tsaymusicalcomedyisaveryloftyformofart,butstillthere'sacertainamountofscienceaboutit.Ifyougoinforitlongenough,youlearnthetricks,andtakeitfrommethat,ifyouhaveagoodcastandsomecatchynumbersit'salmostimpossiblenottohaveasuccess.We'vegotanexcellentcastnow,andthenumbersarefine.Itellyou--asItriedtotellPilkington,onlyhewouldn'tlisten--thatthisshowisallright.There'safortuneinitforsomebody.ButIsupposePilkingtonisnowsittinginthesmoking-carofaneast-boundtrain,tryingtogettheportertoaccepthisshareinthepieceinsteadofatip!"

IfOtisPilkingtonwasnotactuallydoingthat,hewasdoingsomethinglikeit.Sunkingloom,hebumpedupanddownonanuncomfortableseat,wonderingwhyhehadevertakenthetroubletomakethetriptoRochester.Hehadfoundexactlywhathehadexpectedtofind,amangledcaricatureofhisbrain-childplayingtoahousehalfemptyandwhollyindifferent.Theonlyredeemingfeature,hethoughtvindictively,asherememberedwhatRolandTrevishadsaidaboutthecostofmusicalproductions,wasthefactthatthenewnumberswereundoubtedlybetterthanthosewhichhiscollaboratorhadoriginallysupplied.

And"TheRoseofAmerica,"afteradishearteningWednesdaymatineeandanotmuchbetterreceptionontheWednesdaynight,packeditsbaggageandmovedtoSyracuse,whereitfailedjustasbadly.Thenforanothertwoweeksitwanderedonfromonesmalltowntoanother,upanddownNewYorkStateandthroughthedoldrumsofConnecticut,tackingtoandfrolikeastorm-batteredship,tillfinallytheastuteanddiscerningcitizensofHartfordwelcomeditwithsuchareceptionthathardenedprincipalsstaredateachotherinawildsurmise,wonderingifthesethingscouldreallybe:andawearychorusforgotitswearinessandgaveencoreafterencorewithasnapandvimwhichevenMr.JohnsonMillerwasobligedtoownapproximatedtosomethinglikeit.Nothingtotouchtheworkofhischorusesoftheolddays,ofcourse,butneverthelessfair,quitefair.

Thespiritsofthecompanyrevived.Optimismreigned.Principalssmiledhappilyandsaidtheyhadbelievedinthethingallalong.Theladiesandgentlemenoftheensemblechatteredcontentedlyofayear'sruninNewYork.AndthecitizensofHartfordfoughtforseats,and,iftheycouldnotgetseats,stoodupattheback.

OfthesethingsOtisPilkingtonwasnotaware.Hehadsoldhisinterestinthepiecetwoweeksagofortenthousanddollarstoalawyeractingforsomeclientunknown,andwasgladtofeelthathehadsavedsomethingoutofthewreck.

CHAPTERXVIII

JILLRECEIVESNOTICE

I

Theviolinssoaredtoonelasthighnote;thebassoonutteredafinal



moan;thepensivepersonattheendoftheorchestra-pitjustunderMrs.WaddesleighPeagrim'sbox,whosedutyitwastoslamthedrumatstatedintervals,gavethatmuch-enduringinstrumentaconcludingwallop;and,layingasidehisweapons,allowedhisthoughtstostrayinthedirectionofcoolingdrinks.Mr.Saltzburgloweredthebatonwhichhehadstretchedquiveringtowardstheroofandsatdownandmoppedhisforehead.Thecurtainfellonthefirstactof"TheRoseofAmerica,"andsimultaneouslytremendousapplausebrokeoutfromallovertheGothamTheatre,whichwascrammedfromfloortoroofwiththatheterogeneouscollectionofhumanitywhichmakesuptheaudienceofaNewYorkopeningperformance.Theapplausecontinuedlikethebreakingofwavesonastonybeach.Thecurtainroseandfell,roseandfell,roseandfellagain.Anusher,stealingdownthecentralaisle,gavetoMr.SaltzburganenormousbouquetofAmericanBeautyroses,whichhehandedtotheprimadonna,whotookitwithabrilliantsmileandabow,nicelycombininghumilitywithjoyfulsurprise.Theapplause,whichhadbeguntoslacken,gatheredstrengthagain.Itwasasuperbbouquet,nearlyasbigasMr.Saltzburghimself.IthadcosttheprimadonnacloseonahundreddollarsthatmorningatThorley's,butitwaswortheverycentofthemoney.

Thehouse-lightswentup.Theaudiencebegantomoveuptheaislestostretchitslegsanddiscussthepieceduringtheintermission.Therewasageneralbabbleofconversation.Here,acomposerwhohadnotgot

aninterpolatednumberintheshowwasexplainingtoanothercomposerwhohadnotgotaninterpolatednumberintheshowtheexactsourcefromwhichathirdcomposerwhohadgotaninterpolatednumberintheshowhadstolenthenumberwhichhehadgotinterpolated.There,twomusicalcomedyartistswhoweretemporarilyrestingwereagreeingthattheprimadonnawasadearthingbutthat,contraryasitwastotheirlife-longpolicytoknockanybody,theymustsaythatshewasbeginningtoshowthepassageofyearsatrifleandoughttobewarnedbysomefriendthathercareerasan_ingénue_wasathingofthepast.Dramaticcritics,slinkingintwosandthreesintodarkcorners,weretellingeachotherthat"TheRoseofAmerica"wasjustanotherofthosethingsbutithadapparentlygotover.Thegeneralpublicwasoftheopinionthatitwasaknock-out.

"Otie,darling,"saidMrs.WaddesleighPeagrim,leaningherampleshoulderonUncleChris'perfectlyfittingsleeveandspeakingacrosshimtoyoungMr.Pilkington,"Idocongratulateyou,dear.It'sperfectlydelightful!Idon'tknowwhenIhaveenjoyedamusicalpiecesomuch.Don'tyouthinkit'sperfectlydarling,MajorSelby?"

"Capital!"agreedthatsuavemanoftheworld,whohadbeenboredasnearextinctionasmakesnomatter."Congratulateyou,myboy!"

"Youclever,cleverthing!"saidMrs.Peagrim,skittishlystrikinghernephewonthekneewithherfan."I'mproudtobeyouraunt!Aren'tyouproudtoknowhim,Mr.Rooke?"

ThefourthoccupantoftheboxawokewithastartfromthespeciesofstuporintowhichhehadbeenplungedbythespectacleoftheMcWhustleofMcWhustleinaction.TherehadbeenotherdarkmomentsinFreddie'slife.Once,backinLondon,ParkerhadsenthimoutintotheheartoftheWestEndwithouthisspatsandhehadnotdiscoveredtheirabsencetillhewashalf-wayupBondStreet.Onanotheroccasion,havingtakenonastrangeratsquashforaquidagame,hehaddiscoveredtoolatethatthelatterwasanex-public-schoolchampion.Hehadfeltgloomywhenhehadlearnedofthebreaking-off



oftheengagementbetweenJillMarinerandDerekUnderhill,andsadwhenithadbeenbroughttohisnoticethatLondonwasgivingDerekthecoldshoulderinconsequence.Butneverinhiswholecareerhadheexperiencedsuchgloomandsuchsadnessashadcometohimthateveningwhilewatchingthisunspeakablepersoninkiltsmurderthatpartthatshouldhavebeenhis.Andtheaudience,confoundthem,hadroaredwithlaughterateverydamnsillythingthefellowhadsaid!

"Eh?"hereplied."Oh,yes,rather,absolutely!"

"We're_all_proudofyou,Otiedarling,"proceededMrs.Peagrim."Thepieceisawonderfulsuccess.Youwillmakeafortuneoutofit.Andjustthink,MajorSelby,Itriedmybesttoarguethepoor,dearboyoutofputtingiton!Ithoughtitwassorashtoriskhismoneyinatheatricalventure.Butthen,"saidMrs.Peagriminextenuation,"IhadonlyseenthepiecewhenitwasdoneatmyhouseatNewport,andofcourseitreallywasratherdreadfulnonsensethen!ImighthaveknownthatyouwouldchangeitagreatdealbeforeyouputitoninNewYork.AsIalwayssay,playsarenotwritten,theyarerewritten!Why,youhaveimprovedthispieceahundredpercent,Otie!Iwouldn'tknowitwasthesameplay!"

Sheslappedhimsmartlyoncemorewithherfan,ignorantofthegashesshewasinflicting.PoorMr.Pilkingtonwassufferingtwintorments,

thetortureofremorseandtheagonizedjealousyoftheunsuccessfulartist.Itwouldhavebeenbadenoughtohavetositandwatchalargeaudiencerockinginitsseatsattheslap-stickcomedywhichWallyMasonhadsubstitutedforhisdelicatesocialsatire:but,hadthisbeenall,atleasthecouldhaveconsoledhimselfwiththesordidreflectionthathe,asownerofthepiece,wasgoingtomakealotofmoneyoutofit.Now,eventhismaterialbalmwasdeniedhim.Hehadsoldout,andhewasfeelinglikethemanwhopartsforasongwithsharesinanapparentlygoldlessgoldmine,onlytoreadinthepapersnextmorningthatanewreefhasbeenlocated.Intoeachlifesomerainmustfall.QuiteashowerwasfallingnowintoyoungMr.Pilkington's.

"Ofcourse,"wentonMrs.Peagrim,"whentheplaywasdoneatmyhouse,itwasactedbyamateurs.Andyouknowwhatamateursare!Thecastto-nightisperfectlysplendid.IdothinkthatScotchmanisthemostkillingcreature!Don'tyouthinkheiswonderful,Mr.Rooke?"

WemaysaywhatwewillagainsttheupperstrataofSociety,butitcannotbedeniedthatbreedingtells.Onlybyfallingbackforsupportonthetraditionsofhisclassandthesolidsupportofagentleup-bringingwastheLastoftheRookesabletocrushdownthewordsthatleapedtohislipsandtosubstituteforthemapolitelyconventionalagreement.IfMr.Pilkingtonwasfeelinglikeatooimpulsivesellerofgoldmines,Freddie'semotionswereakintothoseoftheSpartanboywiththefoxunderhisvest.NothingbutWinchester

andMagdalencouldhaveproducedthesmilewhich,thoughtwistedandconfinedentirelytohislips,flashedontohisfaceandoffagainathishostess'question.

"Oh,rather!Priceless!"

"Wasn'tthatpartanEnglishmanbefore?"askedMrs.Peagrim."Ithoughtso.Well,itwasastrokeofgeniuschangingit.ThisScotchmanistoofunnyforwords.Andsuchanartist!"



Freddieroseshakily.Onecanstandjustsomuch.

"Think,"hemumbled,"I'llbepushingalongandsmokingacigarette."

Hegropedhiswaytothedoor.

"I'llcomewithyou,Freddiemyboy,"saidUncleChris,whofeltanimperativeneedoffiveminutes'respitefromMrs.Peagrim."Let'sgetoutintotheairforamoment.Uncommonlywarmitishere."

Freddieassented.Airwaswhathefelthewantedmost.

Leftaloneintheboxwithhernephew,Mrs.Peagrimcontinuedforsomemomentsinthesamevein,innocentlytwistingtheknifeintheopenwound.ItstruckherfromtimetotimethatdarlingOtiewasperhapsashadeunresponsive,butsheputthisdowntothenervousstraininseparablefromafirstnightofayoungauthor'sfirstplay.

"Why,"sheconcluded,"youwillmakethousandsandthousandsofdollarsoutofthispiece.Iamsureitisgoingtobeanother'MerryWidow.'"

"Youcan'ttellfromafirstnightaudience,"saidMr.Pilkingtonsombrely,givingoutapieceoftheatricalwisdomhehadpickedupat

rehearsals.

"Oh,butyoucan.It'ssoeasytodistinguishpoliteapplausefromtherealthing.Nodoubtmanyofthepeopledownherehavefriendsinthecompanyorotherreasonsforseemingtoenjoytheplay,butlookhowthecircleandthegallerywereenjoyingit!Youcan'ttellmethatthatwasnotgenuine.Theyloveit.Howhard,"sheproceededcommiseratingly,"youmusthaveworked,poorboy,duringthetourontheroadtoimprovethepiecesomuch!Ineverlikedtosaysobeforebutevenyoumustagreewithmenowthatthatoriginalversionofyours,whichwasdonedownatNewport,wasthemostterriblenonsense!Andhowhardthecompanymusthaveworkedtoo!Otie,"criedMrs.Peagrim,aglowwiththemagicofabrilliantidea,"Iwilltellyou

whatyoumustreallydo.Youmustgiveasupperanddancetothewholecompanyonthestageto-morrownightaftertheperformance."

"What!"criedOtisPilkington,startledoutofhislethargybythisappallingsuggestion.Washe,themanwho,afterplankingdownthirty-twothousandeighthundredandfifty,ninedollars,sixty-eightcentsfor"props"and"frames"and"rehl,"hadsoldoutforapaltrytenthousand,tobestillfurthervictimized?

"Theydodeserveit,don'tthey,afterworkingsohard?"

"It'simpossible,"saidOtisPilkingtonvehemently."Outofthequestion."

"But,Otie,darling,IwastalkingtoMr.MasonwhenhecamedowntoNewporttoseethepiecelastsummer,andhetoldmethatthemanagementnearlyalwaysgivesasuppertothecompany,especiallyiftheyhavehadalotofextrarehearsingtodo."

"Well,letGoblegivethemasupperifhewantsto."

"ButyouknowthatMr.Goble,thoughhehashisnameontheprogrammeasthemanager,hasreallynothingtodowithit.Youownthepiece,



don'tyou?"

ForamomentMr.Pilkingtonfeltanimpulsetorevealall,butrefrained.HeknewhisAuntOlivetoowell.Ifshefoundoutthathehadpartedataheavylosswiththisvaluableproperty,herwholeattitudetowardshimwouldchange--or,ratheritwouldreverttohernormalattitude,whichwasnotunlikethatofaseverenursetoaweak-mindedchild.Eveninhisagonytherehadbeenacertainfaintconsolation,duetotheentirelyunwontednoteofrespectinthevoicewithwhichshehadaddressedhimsincethefallofthecurtain.Heshrankfromforfeitingthisrespect,unentitledthoughhewastoit.

"Yes,"hesaidinhisprecisevoice."That,ofcourse,isso."

"Well,then!"saidMrs.Peagrim.

"Butitseemssounnecessary!Andthinkwhatitwouldcost."

Thiswasafalsestep.SomeofthereverenceleftMrs.Peagrim'svoice,andshespokealittlecoldly.Agayandgallantspenderherself,shehadoftenhadoccasiontorebukeatendencytoover-parsimonyinhernephew.

"Wemustnotbemean,Otie!"shesaid.

Mr.Pilkingtonkeenlyresentedherchoiceofpronouns."We"indeed!Whowasgoingtofootthebill?Bothofthem,handinhand,orhealone,thechump,theboob,theeasymarkwhogotthissortofthingwishedonhim!

"Idon'tthinkitwouldbepossibletogetthestageforasupper-party,"hepleaded,shiftinghisground."Goblewouldn'tgiveittous."

"AsifMr.Goblewouldrefuseyouanythingafteryouhavewrittenawonderfulsuccessforthistheatre!Andisn'thegettinghisshareoftheprofits?Directlyaftertheperformanceyoumustgoroundandask

him.Ofcoursehewillbedelightedtogiveyouthestage.Iwillbehostess,"saidMrs.Peagrimradiantly."Andnow,letmesee,whomshallweinvite?"

Mr.Pilkingtonstaredgloomilyatthefloor,tooboweddownbyhisweightofcarestoresentthe"we,"whichhadplainlycometostay.HewastryingtoestimatethesizeofthegashwhichthispreposterousentertainmentwouldcleaveinthePilkingtonbank-roll.Hedoubtedifitwaspossibletogothroughwithitunderfivehundreddollars;and,if,asseemedonlytooprobable,Mrs.Peagrimtookthematterinhandandgaveherselfherhead,itmightgetintofourfigures.

"MajorSelby,ofcourse,"saidMrs.Peagrimmusingly,withacooing

noteinhervoice.Longsincehadthatpolishedmanofaffairsmadeadeepimpressionuponher."OfcourseMajorSelby,forone.AndMr.Rooke.Thenthereareoneortwoofmyfriendswhowouldbehurtiftheywereleftout.HowaboutMr.Mason?Isn'theafriendofyours?"

Mr.Pilkingtonsnorted.Hehadenduredmuchandwaspreparedtoenduremore,buthedrewthelineatsquanderinghismoneyonthemanwhohadsneakedupbehindhisbrain-childwithahatchetandchoppeditspreciouspersonintolittlebits.



"Heis_not_afriendofmine,"hesaidstiffly,"andIdonotwishhimtobeinvited!"

Havingattainedhermainobjective,Mrs.Peagrimwaspreparedtoyieldminorpoints.

"Verywell,ifyoudonotlikehim,"shesaid."ButIthoughthewasquiteanintimateofyours.ItwasyouwhoaskedmetoinvitehimtoNewportlastsummer."

"Much,"saidMr.Pilkingtoncoldly,"hashappenedsincelastsummer."

"Oh,verywell,"saidMrs.Peagrimagain."ThenwewillnotincludeMr.Mason.Now,directlythecurtainhasfallen,Otiedear,poprightroundandfindMr.Gobleandtellhimwhatyouwant."

II

Itisnotonlytwin-soulsinthisworldwhoyearntomeeteachother.BetweenOtisPilkingtonandMr.Gobletherewaslittleincommon,yet,atthemomentwhenOtissetouttofindMr.Goble,thethingwhichMr.GobledesiredmostintheworldwasaninterviewwithOtis.Sincetheendofthefirstact,themanagerhadbeeninastateofmental

upheaval.Revertingtothegold-minesimileagain,Mr.Goblewasinthepositionofamanwhohashadachanceofpurchasingsuchamineandnow,learningtoolateofthediscoveryofthereef,isfeelingthetruthofthepoet'sdictumthat"ofallsadwordsoftongueorpen,thesaddestarethese:'Itmighthavebeen.'"Theelectricsuccessof"TheRoseofAmerica"hadstunnedMr.Goble;andrealizing,ashedid,thathemighthaveboughtOtisPilkington'ssharedirtcheapatalmostanypointofthepreliminarytour,hewashavingabadhalfhourwithhimself.Theonlyrayinthedarknesswhichbroodedonhisindomitablesoulwasthethoughtthatitmightstillbepossible,bygettingholdofMr.Pilkingtonbeforethenoticesappeared,andshakinghisheadsadlyandtalkingaboutthemisleadinghopeswhichyoungauthorssooftendrawfromanenthusiasticfirst-nightreception

andimpressinguponhimthatfirst-nightreceptionsdonotdeceiveyourexpertwhohasbeenfifteenyearsintheshow-businessandmentioninggloomilythathehadheardacouplathecriticsroastin'theshowtobeattheband...bydoingallthesethings,itmightstillbepossibletodepressMr.Pilkington'syoungenthusiasmandinducehimtosellhisshareatasacrificepricetoagreat-heartedfriendwhodidn'tthinkthethingwouldrunaweekbutwaswillingtobuyasasportingspeculation,becausehethoughtMr.Pilkingtonagoodkid,andafteralltheseshowsthatflopinNewYorksometimeshaveachanceontheroad.

SuchwerethemeditationsofMr.Goble,and,onthefinalfallofthecurtain,amidunrestrainedenthusiasmonthepartoftheaudience,he

haddespatchedmessengersinalldirectionswithinstructionstofindMr.Pilkingtonandconducthimtothepresence.Meanwhile,hewaitedimpatientlyontheemptystage.

ThesuddenadventofWallyMason,whoappearedatthismoment,upsetMr.Gobleterribly.Wallywasafactorinthesituationwhichhehadnotconsidered.Aninfernal,tactlessfellow,alwaystryingtomakemischiefandupsethonestmerchants,Wally,ifpresentattheinterviewwithOtisPilkington,wouldprobablytrytoactinrestraintoftradeandwouldblurtoutsomeuntimelytruthabouttheprospects



ofthepiece.Notforthefirsttime,Mr.GoblewishedWallyasuddenstrokeofapoplexy.

"Wentwell,eh?"saidWallyamiably.HedidnotlikeMr.Goble,butonthefirstnightofasuccessfulpiecepersonalantipathiesmaybesunk.SuchwashiseffervescentgoodhumouratthemomentthathewaspreparedtotreatMr.Gobleasamanandabrother.

"H'm!"repliedMr.Gobledoubtfully,pavingtheway.

"Whatareyouh'mingabout?"demandedWally,astonished."Thething'sariot."

"Youneverknow,"respondedMr.Gobleintheminorkey.

"Well!"Wallystared."Idon'tknowwhatmoreyouwant.Theaudiencesatuponitshindlegsandsquealed,didn'tthey?"

"I'veanidea,"saidMr.Goble,raisinghisvoiceasthelongformofMr.Pilkingtoncrossedthestagetowardsthem,"thatthecriticswillroastit.Ifyouask_me_,"hewentonloudly,"it'sjustthesortofshowthecriticswillpanthelifeoutof.I'vebeenfifteenyearsinthe...."

"Critics!"criedWally."Well,I'vejustbeentalkingtoAlexanderofthe_Times_,andhesaiditwasthebestmusicalpiecehehadeverseenandthatalltheothermenhehadtalkedtothoughtthesame."

Mr.GobleturnedadistortedfacetoMr.Pilkington.HewishedthatWallywouldgo.ButWally,hereflected,bitterly,wasoneofthosemenwhonevergo.HefacedMr.Pilkingtonanddidthebesthecould.

"Ofcourseit'sgota_chance_,"hesaidgloomily."Anyshowhasgota _chance_!ButIdon'tknow....Idon'tknow...."

Mr.Pilkingtonwasnotinterestedinthefutureprospectsof"TheRoseofAmerica."Hehadafavourtoask,andhewantedtoaskit,haveit

refusedifpossible,andgetaway.Itoccurredtohimthat,bysubstitutingfortheaskingofafavouraperemptorydemand,hemightsavehimselfathousanddollars.

"Iwantthestageaftertheperformanceto-morrownight,forasuppertothecompany,"hesaidbrusquely.

HewasshockedtofindMr.Gobleimmediatelycomplaisant.

"Why,sure,"saidMr.Goblereadily."Goasfarasyoulike!"HetookMr.Pilkingtonbytheelbowanddrewhimup-stage,loweringhisvoicetoaconfidentialundertone."Andnow,listen,"hesaid,"I'vesomethingIwanttotalktoyouabout.BetweenyouandIandthe

lamp-post,Idon'tthinkthisshowwilllastamonthinNewYork.Itdon'taddupright!There'ssomethingallwrongaboutit."

Mr.Pilkingtonassentedwithanemphasiswhichamazedthemanager."Iquiteagreewithyou!Ifyouhadkeptitthewayitwasoriginally...."

"Toolateforthat!"sighedMr.Goble,realizingthathisstarwasintheascendant.HehadforgottenforthemomentthatMr.Pilkingtonwasanauthor."Wemustmakethebestofabadjob!Now,you'reagoodkid



andIwouldn'tlikeyoutogoaroundtownsayingthatIhadletyouin.Itisn'tbusiness,maybe,but,justbecauseIdon'twantyoutohaveanykickcoming,I'mreadytobuyyourshareofthethingandcallitadeal.Afterall,itmaygetmoneyontheroad.Itain'tlikely,butthere'sachance,andI'mwillingtotakeit.Well,listen,I'mprobablyrobbingmyself,butI'llgiveyoufifteenthousandifyouwanttosell."

Ahatedvoicespokeathiselbow.

"I'llmakeyouabetterofferthanthat,"saidWally."GivemeyourshareoftheshowforthreedollarsincashandI'llthrowinapairofsock-suspendersandanIngersoll.Isitago?"

Mr.Gobleregardedhimbalefully.

"Whotoldyoutobuttin?"heenquiredsourly.

"Conscience!"repliedWally."OldHenryW.Conscience!Irefusetostandbyandseetheslaughteroftheinnocents.Whydon'tyouwaittillhe'sdeadbeforeyouskinhim!"HeturnedtoMr.Pilkington."Don'tyoubeafool!"hesaidearnestly."Can'tyouseethethingisthebiggesthitinyears?DoyouthinkJesseJamesherewouldbeofferingyouacentforyourshareifhedidn'tknowtherewasa

fortuneinit?Doyouimagine...?"

"Itisimmaterialtome,"interruptedOtisPilkingtonloftily,"whatMr.Gobleoffers.Ihavealreadysoldmyinterest!"

"What!"criedMr.Goble.

"When?"criedWally.

"Isoldithalf-waythroughtheroad-tour,"saidMr.Pilkington,"toalawyer,actingonbehalfofaclientwhosenameIdidnotlearn."

Inthesilencewhichfollowedthisrevelation,anothervoicespoke.

"Ishouldliketospeaktoyouforamoment,Mr.Goble,ifImay."ItwasJill,whohadjoinedthegroupunperceived.

Mr.GoblegloweredatJill,whomethisgazecomposedly.

"I'mbusy!"snappedMr.Goble."Seemeto-morrow!"

"Iwouldprefertoseeyounow."

"Youwouldprefer!"Mr.Goblewavedhishandsdespairingly,asifcallingonheaventowitnessthepersecutionofagoodman.

Jillexhibitedapieceofpaperstampedwiththeletter-headingofthemanagement.

"It'saboutthis,"shesaid."IfounditintheboxasIwasgoingout."

"What'sthat?"

"Itseemstobeafortnight'snotice."



don'tmindtellingmehowyougottenthousanddollars,doyou?"

"Ofcoursenot,Wally.UncleChrissentittome.DoyouremembergivingmealetterfromhimatRochester?Thechequewasinthat."

Wallystared.

"Youruncle!Buthehasn'tanymoney!"

"Hemusthavemadeitsomehow."

"Buthecouldn't!Howcouldhe?"

OtisPilkingtonsuddenlygavetongue.Hebrokeinonthemwithaloudnoisethatwashalfasnortandhalfayell.StunnedbytheinformationthatitwasJillwhohadboughthisshareinthepiece,Mr.Pilkington'smindhadrecoveredslowlyandthenhadbeguntoworkwithaquiteunusualrapidity.Duringtheprecedingconversationhehadbeendoingsometensethinking,andnowhesawall.

"It'saswindle!It'sadeliberateswindle!"shrilledMr.Pilkington.Thetortoise-shell-rimmedspectaclesflashedsparks."I'vebeenmadeafoolof!I'vebeenswindled!I'vebeenrobbed!"

Jillregardedhimwithwideeyes.

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"YouknowwhatImean!"

"Icertainlydonot!Youwereperfectlywillingtosellthepiece."

"I'mnottalkingaboutthat!YouknowwhatImean!I'vebeenrobbed!"

WallysnatchedathisarmasitgyratedpasthiminagestureofanguishwhichrivalledthelateeffortsinthatdirectionofMr.Goble,whowasnowleaningagainstthesafety-curtaintryingtoget

hisbreathback.

"Don'tbeafool,"saidWallycurtly."Talksense!YouknowperfectlywellthatMissMarinerwouldn'tswindleyou."

"Shemaynothavebeeninit,"concededMr.Pilkington."Idon'tknowwhethershewasornot.Butthatuncleofhersswindledmeoutoftenthousanddollars!Thesmootholdcrook!"

"Don'ttalklikethataboutUncleChris!"saidJill,hereyesflashing."Tellmewhatyoumean."

"Yes,comeon,Pilkington,"saidWallygrimly."You'vebeenscattering

someprettyseriouschargesabout.Let'shearwhatyoubasethemon.Becoherentforacoupleofseconds."

Mr.Goblefilledhisdepletedlungs.

"Ifyouaskme...."hebegan.

"Wedon't,"saidWallycurtly."Thishasnothingtodowithyou.Well,"hewenton,"we'rewaitingtohearwhatthisisallabout."



Mr.Pilkingtongulped.Likemostmenofweakintellectwhoarepreyedonbythewolvesoftheworld,hehadeverastrongdistasteforadmittingthathehadbeendeceived.Helikedtoregardhimselfasashrewdyoungmanwhoknewhiswayaboutandcouldtakecareofhimself.

"MajorSelby,"hesaid,adjustinghisspectacles,whichemotionhadcausedtoslipdownhisnose,"cametomeafewweeksagowithaproposition.HesuggestedtheformationofacompanytostartMissMarinerinthemotion-pictures."

"What!"criedJill.

"Inthemotion-pictures,"repeatedMr.Pilkington."HewishedtoknowifIcaredtoadvanceanycapitaltowardstheventure.IthoughtitovercarefullyanddecidedthatIwasfavourablydisposedtowardsthescheme.I...."Mr.Pilkingtongulpedagain."Igavehimachequefortenthousanddollars!"

"Ofallthefools!"saidMr.Goblewithasharplaugh.HecaughtWally'seyeandsubsidedoncemore.

Mr.Pilkington'sfingersstrayedagitatedlytohisspectacles.

"Imayhavebeenafool,"hecriedshrilly,"thoughIwasperfectlywillingtoriskthemoneyhaditbeenappliedtotheobjectforwhichIgaveit.Butwhenitcomestogivingtenthousanddollarsjusttohaveitpaidbacktomeinexchangeforaveryvaluablepieceoftheatricalproperty...myownmoney...handedbacktome...!"

WordsfailedMr.Pilkington.

"I'vebeendeliberatelyswindled!"headded,afteramoment,harkingbacktothemainmotive.

Jill'sheartwaslikelead.Shecouldnotdoubtforaninstantthetruthofwhatthevictimhadsaid.Wovenintoeveryinchofthe

fabric,plainlyhall-markedonitssurface,shecouldperceivethesignatureofUncleChris.Ifhehadcomeandconfessedtoherhimself,shecouldnothavebeenmorecertainthathehadactedpreciselyasMr.Pilkingtonhadcharged.Therewasthatsameimpishness,thatsameblandunscrupulousness,thatsamepatheticdesiretodoheragoodturnhoweveritmightaffectanybodyelsewhich,ifshemightcomparethetwothings,hadcausedhimtopassheroffonunfortunateMr.MarinerofBrookportasagirlofwealthwithtastesinthedirectionofrealestate.

Wallywasnotsoeasilysatisfied.

"You'venoproofwhatever...."

Jillshookherhead.

"It'strue,Wally.IknowUncleChris.Itmustbetrue."

"But,Jill...!"

"Itmustbe.HowelsecouldUncleChrishavegotthemoney?"

Mr.Pilkington,muchencouragedbythisreadyacquiescenceinhis



theories,gotunderwayoncemore.

"Theman'saswindler!Aswindler!He'srobbedme!Ihavebeenrobbed!Heneverhadanyintentionofstartingamotion-picturecompany.Heplanneditallout...!"

Jillcutintothebabbleofhisdenunciations.Shewassickatheart,andshespokealmostlistlessly.

"Mr.Pilkington!"Thevictimstopped."Mr.Pilkington,ifwhatyousayistrue,andI'mafraidthereisnodoubtthatitis,theonlythingIcandoistogiveyoubackyourproperty.Sowillyoupleasetrytounderstandthateverythingisjustasitwasbeforeyougavemyunclethemoney.You'vegotbackyourtenthousanddollarsandyou'vegotbackyourpiece,sothere'snothingmoretotalkabout."

Mr.Pilkington,dimlyrealizingthatthefinancialaspectoftheaffairhadbeenmoreorlesssatisfactorilyadjusted,wasneverthelessconsciousofafeelingthathewasbeingthwarted.HehadmuchmoretosayaboutUncleChrisandhismethodsofdoingbusiness,anditirkedhimtobecutshortlikethis.

"Yes,butIdonotthink....That'sallverywell,butIhavebynomeansfinished...."

"Yes,youhave,"saidWally.

"There'snothingmoretotalkabout,"repeatedJill."I'msorrythisshouldhavehappened,butyou'venothingtocomplainaboutnow,haveyou?Goodnight."

Andsheturnedquicklyaway,andwalkedtowardsthedoor.

"ButIhadn't_finished_!"wailedMr.Pilkington,clutchingatWally.Hewasfeelingprofoundlyaggrieved.Ifitisbadtobealldressedupandnoplacetogo,itisalmostworsetobefulloftalkandtohavenoonetotalkitto.OtisPilkingtonhadatleastanothertwenty

minutesofspeechinsidehimonthetopicofUncleChris,andWallywasthenearesthumanbeingwithapairofears.

Wallywasinnomoodtoplaythepartofconfidant.HepushedMr.PilkingtonearnestlyinthechestandracedafterJill.Mr.Pilkington,withthefeelingthattheworldwasagainsthim,totteredbackintothearmsofMr.Goble,whohadnowrecoveredhisbreathandwasreadytotalkbusiness.

"Haveagoodcigar,"saidMr.Goble,producingone."Now,seehere,let'sgetrightdowntoit.Ifyou'dcaretoselloutfortwentythousand...."

"Iwould_not_caretoselloutfortwentythousand!"yelledtheoverwroughtMr.Pilkington."Iwouldn'tselloutforamillion!You'reaswindler!Youwanttorobme!You'reacrook!"

"Yes,yes,"assentedMr.Goblegently."But,alljokingaside,supposeIwastogouptotwenty-fivethousand...?"HetwinedhisfingerslovinglyintheslackofMr.Pilkington'scoat."Comenow!You'reagoodkidIShallwesaytwenty-fivethousand?"

"Wewill_not_saytwenty-fivethousand!Letmego!"



"Now,now,_now_!"pleadedMr.Goble."Besensible!Don'tgetallworkedup!Say,_do_haveagoodcigar!"

"I_won't_haveagoodcigar!"shoutedMr.Pilkington.

Hedetachedhimselfwithajerk,andstalkedwithlongstridesupthestage.Mr.Goblewatchedhimgowithaloweringgaze.AheavysenseoftheunkindnessoffatewasoppressingMr.Goble.Ifyoucouldn'tgypabone-headedamateuroutofapieceofproperty,whomcouldyougyp?Mr.Goblesighed.Ithardlyseemedtohimworthwhilegoingon.

IV

OutinthestreetWallyhadovertakenJill,andtheyfacedoneanotherinthelightofastreetlamp.Forty-firstStreetatmidnightisaquietoasis.Theyhadittothemselves.

Jillwaspale,andshewasbreathingquickly,butsheforcedasmile.

"Well,Wally,"shesaid."Mycareerasamanagerdidn'tlastlong,didit?"

"Whatareyougoingtodo?"

Jilllookeddownthestreet.

"Idon'tknow,"shesaid."IsupposeIshallhavetostarttryingtofindsomething."

"But...."

Jilldrewhimsuddenlyintothedarkalley-wayleadingtothestage-dooroftheGothamTheatre'snearestneighbour,and,asshedidso,along,thinform,swathedinanovercoatandsurmountedbyanopera-hat,flashedpast.

"Idon'tthinkIcouldhavegonethroughanothermeetingwithMr.Pilkington,"saidJill."Itwasn'thisfault,andhewasquitejustified,butwhathesaidaboutUncleChrisratherhurt."

Wally,whohadideasofhisownsimilartothoseofMr.PilkingtononthesubjectofUncleChrisandhadintendedtoexpressthem,prudentlykeptthemunspoken.

"Isuppose,"hesaid,"thereisnodoubt...?"

"Therecan'tbe.PoorUncleChris!HeislikeFreddie.Hemeanswell!"

Therewasapause.Theyleftthealleyandwalkeddownthestreet.

"Whereareyougoingnow?"askedWally.

"I'mgoinghome."

"Where'shome?"

"Forty-ninthStreet.Iliveinaboarding-housethere."



Asuddenrecollectionoftheboarding-houseatwhichshehadlivedinAtlanticCitysmoteWally,anditturnedthescale.Hehadnotintendedtospeak,buthecouldnothelphimself.

"Jill!"hecried."It'snogood.I_must_sayit!Iwanttogetyououtofallthis.Iwanttotakecareofyou.Whyshouldyougoonlivingthissortoflife,when....Whywon'tyouletme...?"

Hestopped.Evenashespoke,herealizedthefutilityofwhathewassaying.Jillwasnotagirltobewonwithwords.

Theywalkedoninsilenceforamoment.TheycrossedBroadway,noisywithnighttraffic,andpassedintothestillnessontheotherside.

"Wally,"saidJillatlast.

Shewaslookingstraightinfrontofher.Hervoicewastroubled.

"Yes?"

Jillhesitated.

"Wally,youwouldn'twantmetomarryyouifyouknewyouweren'ttheonlymanintheworldthatmatteredtome,wouldyou?"

TheyhadreachedSixthAvenuebeforeWallyreplied.

"No!"hesaid.

Foraninstant,Jillcouldnothavesaidwhetherthefeelingthatshotthroughherliketheabrupttouchingofanervewasreliefordisappointment.Thensuddenlysherealizedthatitwasdisappointment.Itwasabsurdtohertofeeldisappointed,butatthatmomentshewouldhavewelcomedadifferentattitudeinhim.Ifonlythisproblemofherscouldbetakenforcefullyoutofherhands,whatareliefitwouldbe.IfonlyWally,masterfullyinsistent,wouldbatterdownherhesitationsand_grab_her,knockherontheheadandcarryheroff

likeacaveman,carelessaboutherhappinessandconcentrateonhisown,whatasolutionitwouldbe....Butthenhewouldn'tbeWally....Nevertheless,Jillgavealittlesigh.Hernewlifehadchangedheralready.Ithadbluntedthesharpedgeofherindependence.To-nightshewasfeelingtheneedofsomeonetoleanon--someonestrongandcosyandsympatheticwhowouldtreatherlikealittlegirlandshieldherfromalltheroughnessoflife.Thefightingspirithadgoneoutofher,andshewasnolongerthelittlewarriorfacingtheworldwithabraveeyeandatiltedchin.Shewantedtocryandbepetted.

"No!"saidWallyagain.Therehadbeenthefaintestsuggestionofadoubtwhenhehadspokenthewordbefore,butnowitshotoutlikeabullet."AndI'lltellyouwhy.Iwant_you_--and,ifyoumarriedme

feelinglikethat,itwouldn'tbeyou.IwantJill,thewholeJill,andnothingbutJill,and,ifIcan'thavethat,I'drathernothaveanything.Marriageisn'tamotion-pictureclose-upwithslowfade-outontheembrace.It'sapartnership,andwhat'sthegoodofapartnershipifyourheart'snotinit?It'slikecollaboratingwithamanyoudislike....Ibelieveyouwishsometimes--notoften,perhaps,butwhenyou'refeelinglonelyandmiserable--thatIwouldpesterandbludgeonyouintomarryingme....What'sthematter?"

Jillhadstarted.Itwasdisquietingtohaveherthoughtsreadwith



suchaccuracy.

"Nothing,"shesaid.

"Itwouldn'tbeanygood,"Wallywenton,"becauseitwouldn'tbe _me_.Icouldn'tkeepthatattitudeup,andIknowIshouldhatemyselfforeverhavingtriedit.There'snothingintheworldIwouldn'tdotohelpyou,thoughIknowit'snouseofferingtodoanything.You'reafighter,andyoumeantofightyourownbattle.Itmighthappenthat,ifIkeptafteryouandbadgeredyouandnaggedyou,oneofthesedays,whenyouwerefeelingparticularlyallaloneintheworldandtiredoffightingforyourself,youmightconsenttomarryme.Butitwouldn'tdo.Evenifyoureconciledyourselftoit,itwouldn'tdo.Isupposethecave-womansometimesfeltratherrelievedwheneverythingwassettledforherwithaclub,butI'msurethecavemanmusthavehadahardtimeriddinghimselfofthethoughtthathehadbehavedlikeacadandtakenameanadvantage.Idon'twanttofeellikethat.Icouldn'tmakeyouhappyifIfeltlikethat.Muchbettertohaveyougoonregardingmeasafriend...knowingthat,ifeveryourfeelingsdochange,thatIamrightthere,waiting...."

"Butbythattime_your_feelingswillhavechanged!"

Wallylaughed.

"Never!"

"You'llmeetsomeothergirl...."

"I'vemeteverygirlintheworld!Noneofthemwilldo!"ThelightnesscamebackintoWally'svoice."I'msorryforthepoorthings,buttheywon'tdo!Take'emaway!There'sonlyonegirlintheworldforme--oh,confoundit!whyisitthatonealwaysthinksinsong-titles!Well,thereitis.I'mnotgoingtobotheryou.We'repals.And,asapal,mayIofferyoumybank-roll?"

"No!"saidJill.Shesmiledupathim."IbelieveyouwouldgivemeyourcoatifIaskedyouforit!"

Wallystopped.

"Doyouwantit?Hereyouare!"

"Wally,behave!There'sapolicemanlookingatyou!"

"Oh,well,ifyouwon't!It'sagoodcoat,allthesame."

Theyturnedthecornerandstoppedbeforeabrown-stonehouse,withalongladderofuntidystepsrunninguptothefrontdoor.

"Isthiswhereyoulive?"Wallyasked.Helookedatthegloomyplacedisapprovingly."Youdochoosethemostawfulplaces!"

"Idon'tchoosethem.They'rethrustonme.Yes,thisiswhereIlive.Ifyouwanttoknowtheexactroom,it'sthethirdwindowupthereoverthefrontdoor.Well,goodnight."

"Goodnight,"saidWally.Hepaused."Jill."



"Yes?"

"Iknowit'snotworthmentioning,andit'sbreakingouragreementtomentionit,butyou_do_understand,don'tyou?"

"Yes,Wallydear,Iunderstand."

"I'mroundthecorner,youknow,waiting!Andifyouever_do_change,allyou'vegottodoisjusttocometomeandsay'It'sallright!'...."

Jilllaughedalittleshakily.

"Thatdoesn'tsoundveryromantic!"

"Notsoundromantic?Ifyoucanthinkofanythreewordsinthelanguagethatsoundmoreromantic,letmehavethem!Well,nevermindhowtheysound,justsaythem,andwatchtheresult!Butyoumustgettobed.Goodnight."

"Goodnight,Wally."

Shepassedinthroughthedingydoor.Itclosedbehindher,andWallystoodforsomemomentsstaringatitwithagloomyrepulsion.He

thoughthehadneverseenadingierdoor.

Thenhestartedtowalkbacktohisapartment.Hewalkedveryquickly,withclenchedhands.Hewaswonderingifafteralltherewasnotsomethingtobesaidforthemethodsofthecavemanwhenhewenta-wooing.Twingesofconsciencethecavemanmayhavehadwhenallwasover,butatleasthehadestablishedhisrighttolookafterthewomanheloved.

CHAPTERXIX

MRS.PEAGRIMBURNSINCENSE

"Theytellme...Iamtold...Iaminformed...No,onemoment,MissFrisby."

Mrs.Peagrimwrinkledherfairforehead.Ithasbeentrulysaidthatthereisnoagonyliketheagonyofliterarycomposition,andMrs.PeagrimwashavingratherabadtimegettingtherequisitesnapandgingerintoherlatestcommunicationtothePress.Shebitherlip,andwouldhavepassedhertwitchingfingersrestlesslythroughherhairbutforthethoughtofthedamagewhichsuchanactionmustdoto

hercoiffure.MissFrisby,hersecretary,ananæmicandnegativeyoungwoman,waitedpatiently,padonknee,andtappedherteethwithherpencil.

"Pleasedonotmakethattappingnoise,MissFrisby,"saidthesuffererquerulously."Icannotthink.Otie,dear,can'tyousuggestagoodphrase?Yououghttobeableto,beinganauthor."

Mr.Pilkington,whowasstrewnoveranarm-chairbythewindow,awokefromhismeditations,which,tojudgefromthefurrowjustabovethe



aseverybodyknows,istheworkofMrs.Peagrim'scleveryoungnephew,OtisPilkington.'"Mrs.Peagrimshotaglanceathercleveryoungnephew,toseehowheappreciatedtheboost,butOtis'thoughtswerefarawayoncemore.Hewaslyingonhisspine,brooding,brooding.Mrs.Peagrimresumedherdictation."'Inhonouroftheextraordinarysuccessofthepiece,Mrs.Peagrim,whocertainlydoesnothingbyhalves,entertainedtheentirecompanytoasupper-danceaftertheperformance.Anumberofprominentpeoplewereamongtheguests,andMrs.Peagrimwasaradiantandvivacioushostess.Shehasneverlookedmorecharming.Thehighjinkswerekeptuptoanadvancedhour,andeveryoneagreedthattheyhadneverspentamoredelightfulevening.'There!Typeasmanycopiesasarenecessary,MissFrisby,andsendthemoutthisafternoonwithphotographs."

MissFrisbyhavingvanishedinherpallidway,theradiantandvivacioushostessturnedonhernephewagain.

"Imustsay,Otie,"shebegancomplainingly,"that,foramanwhohashadasuccesslikeyours,youarenotverycheerful.IshouldhavethoughtthenoticesofthepiecewouldhavemadeyouthehappiestmaninNewYork."

Therewasonceamelodramawherethechildofthepersecutedheroineusedtodissolvethegalleryintearsbysaying"Happiness?What_is_

happiness,moth-aw?"Mr.Pilkingtondidnotusetheseactualwords,buthereproducedthestrickeninfant'stonewithgreatfidelity.

"Notices!Whatarenoticestome?"

"Oh,don'tbesoaffected!"criedMrs.Peagrim."Don'tpretendthatyoudon'tknoweverywordofthembyheart!"

"Ihavenotseenthenotices,AuntOlive,"saidMr.Pilkingtondully.

Mrs.Peagrimlookedathimwithpositivealarm.Shehadneverbeenoverwhelminglyattachedtoherlongnephew,butsincehisrisetofamesomethingresemblingaffectionhadsprungupinher,andhisattitude

nowdisturbedher.

"Youcan'tbewell,Otie!"shesaidsolicitously."Areyouill?"

"Ihaveasevereheadache,"repliedthemartyr."Ipassedawakefulnight."

"Letmegoandmixyouadoseofthemostwonderfulmixture,"saidMrs.Peagrimmaternally."Poorboy!Idon'twonder,afterallthenervousnessandexcitement....Yousitquitestillandrest.Iwillbebackinamoment."

Shebustledoutoftheroom,andMr.Pilkingtonsaggedbackintohis

chair.Hehadhardlygothismeditationsgoingoncemore,whenthedooropenedandthemaidannounced"MajorSelby."

"Goodmorning,"saidUncleChrisbreezily,sailingdownthefairwaywithoutstretchedhand."Howare--oh!"

Hestoppedabruptly,perceivingthatMrs.Peagrimwasnotpresentand--amoredisturbingdiscovery--thatOtisPilkingtonwas.ItwouldbeexaggerationtosaythatUncleChriswasembarrassed.Thatmaster-mindwasneveractuallyembarrassed.Buthisjauntiness



"Ispokehastily."

"Alwaysthinkbeforeyouspeak,myboy."

"IconsideredthatIhadbeencheated...."

"Mydearboy!"UncleChris'blueeyesopenedwide."Please!Haven'tIsaidthatIcouldexplainallthat?Itwasapuremisunderstanding...."

"Oh,Idon'tcareaboutthatpartofit...."

"Quiteright,"saidUncleChriscordially."Letbygonesbebygones.Startwithacleanslate.Youhaveyourmoneyback,andthere'snoneedtosayanotherwordaboutit.Letusforgetit,"heconcludedgenerously."And,ifIhaveanyinfluencewithJill,youmaycountonmetouseittodissipateanylittleunfortunateriftwhichmayhaveoccurredbetweenyou."

"Youthinkthere'sachancethatshemightoverlookwhatIsaid?"

"AsIsay,IwilluseanyinfluenceImaypossesstohealthebreach.Ilikeyou,myboy.AndIamsurethatJilllikesyou.Shewillmakeallowancesforanyill-judgedremarksyoumayhaveutteredinamomentofheat."

Mr.Pilkingtonbrightened,andMrs.Peagrim,returningwithamedicine-glass,waspleasedtoseehimlookingsomuchbetter.

"Youareapositivewizard,MajorSelby,"shesaidarchly."Whathaveyoubeensayingtothepoorboytocheerhimupso?Hehasabadheadachethismorning."

"Headache?"saidUncleChris,startinglikeawar-horsethathasheardthebugle."Idon'tknowifIhaveevermentionedit,but_I_usedtosufferfromheadachesatonetime.Extraordinarilysevereheadaches.Itriedeverything,untilonedayamanIknewrecommendedathingcalled--don'tknowifyouhaveeverheardofit...."

Mrs.Peagrim,inherrôleofministeringangel,wasengrossedwithhererrandofmercy.Shewasholdingthemedicine-glasstoMr.Pilkington'slips,andtheseedfellonstonyground.

"Drinkthis,dear,"urgedMrs.Peagrim.

"Nervino,"saidUncleChris.

"There!"saidMrs.Peagrim."Thatwillmakeyoufeelmuchbetter.Howwell_you_alwayslook,MajorSelby!"

"Andyetatonetime,"saidUncleChrisperseveringly,"Iwasa

martyr...."

"Ican'trememberifItoldyoulastnightabouttheparty.Wearegivingalittlesupper-dancetothecompanyofOtie'splayaftertheperformancethisevening.Ofcourseyouwillcome?"

UncleChrisphilosophicallyacceptedhisfailuretosecuretheearofhisaudience.Otheropportunitieswouldoccur.

"Delighted,"hesaid."Delighted."



"Quiteasimple,Bohemianlittleaffair,"proceededMrs.Peagrim."Ithoughtitwasonlyrighttogivethepoorthingsalittletreataftertheyhaveallworkedsohard."

"Certainly,certainly.Acapitalidea."

"Weshallbequiteasmallparty.IfIoncestartedaskinganybodyoutsideour_real_friends,Ishouldhavetoaskeverybody."

Thedooropened.

"Mr.Rooke,"announcedthemaid.

Freddie,likeMr.Pilkington,wasapreytogloomthismorning.Hehadreadoneortwoofthepapers,andtheyhadbeendisgustinglylavishintheirpraiseofTheMcWhustleofMcWhustle.ItmadeFreddiedespairoftheNewYorkPress.Inadditiontothis,hehadbeenwokenupatseveno'clock,aftergoingtosleepatthree,bytheringingofthetelephoneandtheannouncementthatagentlemanwishedtoseehim:andhewasweigheddownwiththatheavy-eyedlanguorwhichcomestothosewhosenight'srestisbroken.

"Why,howdoyoudo,Mr.Rooke!"saidMrs.Peagrim.

"How-de-do,"repliedFreddie,blinkinginthestronglightfromthewindow."HopeI'mnotbarginginandallthatsortofthing?Icameroundaboutthispartyto-night,youknow."

"Oh,yes?"

"Waswondering,"saidFreddie,"ifyouwouldmindifIbroughtafriendofminealong?PoppedinonmefromEnglandthismorning.Atseveno'clock,"saidFreddieplaintively."Ghastlyhour,what?Didn'tdoathingtothegoodoldbeautysleep!Well,whatImeantosayis,I'dbeawfullyobligedifyou'dletmebringhimalong."

"Why,ofcourse,"saidMrs.Peagrim."Anyfriendofyours,Mr.Rooke...."

"Thanksawfully.SpecialreasonwhyI'dlikehimtocome,andallthat.He'safellownamedUnderhill.SirDerekUnderhill.Beenapalofmineforyearsandyears."

UncleChrisstarted.

"Underhill!IsDerekUnderhillinAmerica?"

"Landedthismorning.Routedmeoutofbedatseveno'clock."

"Oh,doyouknowhim,too,MajorSelby?"saidMrs.Peagrim."ThenI'msurehemustbecharming!"

"Charming,"beganUncleChrisinmeasuredtones,"isanadjectivewhichIcannot...."

"Well,thanksmostawfully,"interruptedFreddie."It'sfearfullygoodofyoutoletmebringhimalong.Imustbestaggeringoffnow.Lotofthingstodo."



"Oh,mustyougoalready?"

"Absolutelymust.Lotsofthingstodo."

UncleChrisextendedahandtohishostess.

"IthinkIwillbegoingalong,too,Mrs.Peagrim.I'llwalkafewyardswithyou,Freddie,myboy.ThereareoneortwothingsIwouldliketotalkover.Tillto-night,Mrs.Peagrim."

"Tillto-night,MajorSelby."SheturnedtoMr.Pilkingtonasthedoorclosed."WhatcharmingmannersMajorSelbyhas.Sopolished.Asortofold-worldcourtesy.Sosmooth!"

"Smooth,"saidMr.Pilkingtondourly,"isright!"

II

UncleChrisconfrontedFreddiesternlyoutsidethefrontdoor.

"Whatdoesthismean?GoodGod,Freddie,haveyounodelicacy?"

"Eh?"saidFreddieblankly.

"WhyareyoubringingUnderhilltothisparty?Don'tyourealizethatpoorJillwillbethere?Howdoyousupposeshewillfeelwhensheseesthatblackguardagain?Thecadwhothrewheroverandnearlybrokeherheart!"

Freddie'sjawfell.Hegropedforhisfalleneyeglass.

"Oh,myaunt!Doyouthinkshewillbepipped?"

"AsensitivegirllikeJill?"

"But,listen.Derekwantstomarryher."

"What?"

"Oh,absolutely.That'swhyhe'scomeover."

UncleChrisshookhishead.

"Idon'tunderstandthis.Isawthelettermyselfwhichhewrotetoher,breakingofftheengagement."

"Yes,buthe'sdashedsorryaboutallthatnow.Wisheshehadneverbeensuchamug,andallthatsortofthing.Asamatteroffact,that'swhyIshotoverhereinthefirstplace.Asanambassador,

don'tyouknow.ItoldJillallaboutitdirectlyIsawher,butsheseemedinclinedtogiveitamissrather,soIcabledoldDerektopophereinperson.Seemedtome,don'tyouknow,thatJillmightbemorelikelytomakeitupandallthatifshesawoldDerek."

UncleChrisnodded,hiscomposurerestored.

"Verytrue.Yes,certainly,myboy,youactedmostsensibly.BadlyasUnderhillbehaved,sheundoubtedlylovedhim.Itwouldbethebestpossiblethingthatcouldhappeniftheycouldbebroughttogether.It



ismydearestwishtoseeJillcomfortablysettled.IwashalfhopingthatshemightmarryyoungPilkington."

"GoodGod!ThePilker!"

"Heisquiteaniceyoungfellow,"arguedUncleChris."Nonetoomanybrains,perhaps,butJillwouldsupplythatdeficiency.Still,ofcourse,Underhillwouldbemuchbetter."

"Sheoughttomarrysomeone,"saidFreddieearnestly."Imean,allrotagirllikeJillhavingtoknockaboutandroughitlikethis."

"You'reperfectlyright."

"Ofcourse,"saidFreddiethoughtfully,"thecatchinthewholedashedbusinessisthatshe'ssuchaballyindependentsortofgirl.Imeantosay,it'squitepossibleshemayhandDerekthemitten,youknow."

"Inthatcase,letushopethatshewilllookmorefavourablyonyoungPilkington."

"Yes,"saidFreddie."Well,yes.But--well,Iwouldn'tcallthePilkeraveryripesportingproposition.AboutsixtytooneagainstisthewayIshouldfigureitifIweremakingabook.Itmaybejustbecause

I'mfeelingabitpippedthismorning--gotturfedoutofbedatseveno'clockandallthat--butIhaveanideathatshemaygivebothofthemtheoldrazz.Maybewrong,ofcourse."

"Letushopethatyouare,myboy,"saidUncleChrisgravely."ForinthatcaseIshouldbeforcedintoacourseofactionfromwhichIconfessthatIshrink."

"Idon'tfollow."

"Freddie,myboy,youareaveryoldfriendofJill'sandIamheruncle.IfeelthatIcanspeakplainlytoyou.Jillisthedearestthingtomeintheworld.Shetrustedme,andIfailedher.Iwas

responsibleforthelossofhermoney,andmyoneobjectinlifeistoseeherbysomemeansorotherinapositionequaltotheoneofwhichIdeprivedher.Ifshemarriedarichman,wellandgood.That,providedshemarrieshimbecausesheisfondofhim,willbetheverybestthingthatcanhappen.Butifshedoesnot,thereisanotherway.Itmaybepossibleformetomarryarichwoman."

Freddiestopped,appalled.

"GoodGod!Youdon'tmean...youaren'tthinkingofmarryingMrs.Peagrim!"

"Iwouldn'thavementionednames,but,asyouhaveguessed....Yes,if

theworstcomestotheworst,Ishallmakethesupremesacrifice.To-nightwilldecide.Good-bye,myboy.Iwanttolookinatmyclubforafewminutes.TellUnderhillthathehasmybestwishes."

"I'llbethehas!"gaspedFreddie.

CHAPTERXX



DEREKLOSESONEBIRDANDSECURESANOTHER

Itissafestforthehistorian,ifhevaluesaccuracy,towaittillathinghashappenedbeforewritingaboutit.Otherwisehemaycommithimselftostatementswhicharenotborneoutbytheactualfacts.Mrs.Peagrim,recordinginadvancethesuccessofherpartyattheGothamTheatre,haddonethis.Itistruethatshewasa"radiantandvivacioushostess,"anditispossible,herstandardnotbeingveryhigh,thatshehad"neverlookedmorecharming."But,whenshewentontosaythatallpresentwereinagreementthattheyhadneverspentamoredelightfulevening,shedeceivedthepublic.UncleChris,forone;OtisPilkington,foranother,andFreddieRooke,forathird,weresofarfromspendingadelightfuleveningthattheyfoundithardtomasktheirtrueemotionsandkeepasmilingfacetotheworld.

OtisPilkington,indeed,founditimpossible,and,ceasingtotry,leftearly.Justtwentyminutesaftertheproceedingshadbegun,heseizedhiscoatandhat,shotoutintothenight,madeoffblindlyupBroadway,andwalkedtwiceroundCentralParkbeforehisfeetgaveoutandheallowedhimselftobetakenbacktohisapartmentinataxi.Jillhadbeenverykindandverysweetandveryregretful,butitwasonlytoomanifestthatonthequestionofbecomingMrs.Otis

Pilkingtonhermindwasmadeup.Shewaswillingtolikehim,tobeasistertohim,towatchhisfutureprogresswithconsiderableinterest,butshewouldnotmarryhim.

OnefeelssorryforOtisPilkingtoninhishouroftravail.Thiswasthefifthorsixthtimethatthissortofthinghadhappenedtohim,andhewasgettingtiredofit.Ifhecouldhavelookedintothefuture--fiveyearsalmosttoadayfromthatevening--andseenhimselfwalkingblushfullydowntheaisleofSt.Thomas'withRolandTrevis'sisterAngelaonhisarm,hisgloommighthavebeenlightened.Moreprobably,however,itwouldhavebeenincreased.Atthemoment,RolandTrevis'sisterAngelawasfifteen,frivolous,andfreckledand,exceptthatheratherdislikedherandsuspectedher--correctly--oflaughing

athim,amountedtojust_nil_inMr.Pilkington'slife.Theideaoflinkinghislotwithherswouldhaveappalledhim,enthusiasticallythoughhewasinfavourofitfiveyearslater.

However,Mr.Pilkingtonwasunabletolookintothefuture,sohisreflectionsonthisnightofsorrowwerenotdivertedfromJill.HethoughtsadlyofJilltilltwo-thirty,whenhefellasleepinhischairanddreamedofher.Atseveno'clockhisJapanesevalet,whohadbeengiventhenightoff,returnedhome,foundhim,andgavehimbreakfast.Afterwhich,Mr.Pilkingtonwenttobed,playedthreegamesofsolitaire,andslepttilldinner-time,whenheawoketotakeuptheburdenoflifeagain.Hestillbroodedonthetragedywhichhadshatteredhim.Indeed,itwasonlytwoweekslater,whenatadancehe

wasintroducedtoared-hairedgirlfromDetroit,thathereallygotoverit.

*****

ThenewswasconveyedtoFreddieRookebyUncleChris.UncleChris,withsomethingoftheemotionsofacondemnedmanonthescaffoldwaitingforareprieve,hadwatchedJillandMr.Pilkingtongoofftogetherintothedimsolitudeatthebackoftheorchestrachairs,and,afteranalltoobriefinterval,hadobservedthelatterwhizzing



back,hiseverylittlemovementhavingameaningofitsown--andthatmeaningonewhichconvincedUncleChristhatFreddie,inestimatingMr.Pilkingtonasasixtytoonechance,hadnoterredinhisjudgmentofform.

UncleChrisfoundFreddieinoneoftheupperboxes,talkingtoNellyBryant.Dancingwasgoingondownonthestage,butFreddie,thoughnormallyayoungmanwhoshookaskilfulshoe,wasinnomoodfordancingto-night.Thereturntothescenesofhisformertriumphsandthemeetingwiththecompanionsofhappierdays,severedfromhimbyatwo-weeks'notice,hadaffectedFreddiepowerfully.Eyeingthehappythrongbelow,heexperiencedtheemotionsofthatPeriwho,inthepoem,"atthegateofEdenstooddisconsolate."

ExcusinghimselffromNellyandfollowingUncleChrisintothepassage-wayoutsidethebox,heheardtheother'snewslistlessly.ItcameasnoshocktoFreddie.HehadneverthoughtMr.Pilkingtonanythingtowritehomeabout,andhadneversupposedthatJillwouldaccepthim.Hesaidasmuch.Sorryforthechapinaway,andallthat,buthadneverimaginedforaninstantthathewouldclick.

"WhereisUnderhill?"askedUncleChrisagitated.

"Derek?Oh,heisn'thereyet."

"Butwhyisn'thehere?Iunderstoodthatyouwerebringinghimwithyou."

"Thatwasthescheme,butitseemshehadpromisedsomepeoplehemetontheboattogotoatheatreandhaveabitofsupperwiththemafterwards.IonlyheardaboutitwhenIgotbackthismorning."

"GoodGod,boy!Didn'tyoutellhimthatJillwouldbehereto-night?"

"Oh,rather.Andhe'scomingondirectlyhecangetawayfromthesepeople.Oughttobehereanymomentnow."

UncleChrispluckedathismoustachegloomily.Freddie'sdetachmentdepressedhim.Hehadlookedformoreanimationandagreatersenseoftheimportanceoftheissue.

"Well,pip-pipforthepresent,"saidFreddie,movingtowardthebox."Havetobegettingback.Seeyoulater."

Hedisappeared,andUncleChristurnedslowlytodescendthestairs.Ashereachedthefloorbelow,thedoorofthestage-boxopened,andMrs.Peagrimcameout.

"Oh,MajorSelby!"criedtheradiantandvivacioushostess."Icouldn'tthinkwhereyouhadgotto.Ihavebeenlookingforyou

everywhere."

UncleChrisquiveredslightly,butbracedhimselftodohisduty.

"MayIhavethepleasure...?"hebegan,thenbrokeoffashesawthemanwhohadcomeoutoftheboxbehindhishostess."Underhill!"Hegraspedhishandandshookitwarmly."Mydearfellow!Ihadnonotionthatyouhadarrived!"

"SirDerekcamejustamomentago,"saidMrs.Peagrim.



"Howareyou,MajorSelby?"saidDerek.Hewasalittlesurprisedatthewarmthofhisreception.Hehadnotanticipatedthisgeniality.

"Mydearfellow,I'mdelightedtoseeyou,"criedUncleChris."But,asIwassaying,Mrs.Peagrim,mayIhavethepleasureofthisdance?"

"Idon'tthinkIwilldancethisone,"saidMrs.Peagrimsurprisingly."I'msureyoutwomusthaveeversomuchtotalkabout.Whydon'tyoutakeSirDerekandgivehimacupofcoffee?"

"Capitalidea!"saidUncleChris."Comethisway,mydearfellow.AsMrs.Peagrimsays,Ihaveeversomuchtotalkabout.Alongthispassage,myboy.Becareful.There'sastep.Well,well,well!It'sdelightfultoseeyouagain!"HemassagedDerek'sarmaffectionately.EverytimehehadmetMrs.Peagrimthateveninghehadquailedinwardlyatwhatlaybeforehim,shouldsomehitchoccurtopreventthere-unionofDerekandJill:andnowthattheotherwasactuallyhere,handsomerthaneverandmorethaneverthesortofmannogirlcouldresist,hedeclinedtoadmitthepossibilityofahitch.Hisspiritssoared."Youhaven'tseenJillyet,ofcourse?"

"No."Derekhesitated."IsJill....Doesshe....Imean...."

UncleChrisresumedhisosteopathy.Hekneadedhiscompanion'scoat-sleevewithajovialhand.

"Mydearfellow,ofcourse!Iamsurethatawordortwofromyouwillputeverythingright.Weallmakemistakes.Ihavemadethemmyself.Iamconvincedthateverythingwillbeperfectlyallright....Ah,theresheis.Jill,mydear,hereisanoldfriendtoseeyou!"

II

SincethehurrieddepartureofMr.Pilkington,Jillhadbeensittingintheauditorium,lazilylisteningtothemusicandwatchingthe

couplesdancingonthestage.Shefoundherselfdriftingintoamoodofgentlecontentment,andwasatalosstoaccountforthis.Shewashappy--quietlyandpeacefullyhappy,whenshewasawarethatsheoughttohavebeenbothagitatedandapprehensive.WhenshehadanticipatedtherecentinterviewwithOtisPilkington,whichshehadknownwasboundtocomesoonerorlater,ithadbeenshrinkinglyandwithforeboding.Shehatedhurtingpeople'sfeelings,and,thoughshereadMr.Pilkington'scharacteraccuratelyenoughtoknowthattimewouldhealanyanguishwhichshemightcausehim,shehadhadnodoubtthatthetemperamentalsurfaceofthatlongyoungman,whenhesucceededingettingheralone,wasgoingtobebadlybruised.Andithadfallenoutjustasshehadexpected.Mr.Pilkingtonhadsaidhissayanddeparted,apitifulfigure,aspectaclewhichshouldhavewrungher

heart.Ithadnotwrungherheart.Exceptforonefleetinginstantwhenshewasactuallysayingthefatalwords,ithadnotinterferedwithherhappinessatall;andalreadyshewasbeginningtoforgetthattheincidenthadeverhappened.

And,ifthepastshouldhavedepressedher,thefuturemighthavebeenexpectedtodepressherevenmore.Therewasnothinginit,eitherimmediateordistant,whichcouldaccountforherfeelinggentlycontented.Andyet,assheleanedbackinherseat,herheartwasdancingintimetothedance-musicofMrs.Peagrim'shiredorchestra.



ItpuzzledJill.

Andthen,quitesuddenly,yetwithnoabruptnessorsenseofdiscovery,justasifitweresomethingwhichshehadknownallalong,thetruthcameuponher.ItwasWally,thethoughtofWally,theknowledgethatWallyexisted,thatmadeherhappy.Hewasasolid,comforting,reassuringfactinaworldofdoubtsandperplexities.Shedidnotneedtobewithhimtobefortified,itwasenoughjusttothinkofhim.Presentorabsent,hispersonalityheartenedherlikefineweatherormusicorasea-breeze--orlikethatfriendly,soothingnight-lightwhichtheyusedtoleaveinhernurserywhenshewaslittle,toscareawaythegoblinsandseehersafelyovertheroadthatledtothegatesofthecityofdreams.

SupposetherewerenoWally...?

Jillgaveasuddengasp,andsatup,tingling.Shefeltasshehadsometimesfeltasachild,when,ontheedgeofsleep,shehaddreamedthatshewassteppingoffaprecipiceandhadwoken,tenseandalert,tofindthattherewasnodangerafterall.Buttherewasadifferencebetweenthatfeelingandthis.Shehadwoken,buttofindthattherewasdanger.Itwasasthoughsomeinnervoicewascallingtohertobecareful,totakethought.SupposetherewerenoWally?...AndwhyshouldtherealwaysbeWally?Hehadsaidconfidentlyenoughthat

therewouldneverbeanothergirl....Buttherewerethousandsofothergirls,millionsofothergirls,andcouldshesupposethatoneofthemwouldnothavethesensetosnapupatreasurelikeWally?AsenseofblankdesolationsweptoverJill.Herquickimagination,leapingahead,hadmadethevaguepossibilityofadistantfutureanaccomplishedfact.Shefelt,absurdly,asenseofoverwhelmingloss.

Intohermind,neverfardistantfromit,camethethoughtofDerek.And,suddenly,Jillmadeanotherdiscovery.ShewasthinkingofDerek,anditwasnothurting.Shewasthinkingofhimquitecoollyandclearlyandherheartwasnotaching.

Shesatbackandscrewedhereyestight,asshehadalwaysdonewhen

puzzled.Somethinghadhappenedtoher,buthowithadhappenedandwhenithadhappenedandwhyithadhappenedshecouldnotunderstand.Sheonlyknewthatnowforthefirsttimeshehadbeengrantedamomentofclearvisionandwasseeingthingstruly.

ShewantedWally.Shewantedhiminthesensethatshecouldnotdowithouthim.ShefeltnothingofthefierytumultwhichhadcomeuponherwhenshefirstmetDerek.SheandWallywouldcometogetherwithasmileandbuildtheirlifeonanenduringfoundationoflaughterandhappinessandgood-fellowship.WallyhadnevershakenandneverwouldshakehersensesasDerekhaddone.Ifthatwaslove,thenshedidnotloveWally.Butherclearvisiontoldherthatitwasnotlove.Itmightbetheblazingandcracklingofthorns,butitwasnotthefire.

ShewantedWally.Sheneededhimassheneededtheairandthesunlight.

SheopenedhereyesandsawUncleChriscomingdowntheaisletowardsher.Therewasamanwithhim,and,astheymovedcloserinthedimlight,JillsawthatitwasDerek.

"Jill,mydear,"saidUncleChris,"hereisanoldfriendtoseeyou!"

And,havingachievedtheirbringingtogether,heproceededtowithdraw



delicatelywhencehehadcome.ItispleasanttobeabletorecordthathewasimmediatelyseizeduponbyMrs.Peagrim,whohadchangedhermindaboutnotdancing,andledofftobeherpartnerinafox-trot,inthecourseofwhichshetrodonhisfeetthreetimes.

"Why,Derek!"saidJillcheerfully.Exceptforamildwonderhowhecametobethere,shefoundherselfwhollyunaffectedbythesightofhim."Whateverare_you_doinghere?"

Dereksatdownbesideher.Thecordialityofhertonehadrelieved,yetatthesametimedisconcertedhim.Manseldomattainstoperfectcontentmentinthisworld,andDerek,whilepleasedthatJillapparentlyborehimnoill-will,seemedtomisssomethinginhermannerwhichhewouldhavebeengladtofindthere.

"Jill!"hesaidhuskily.

ItseemedtoDerekonlydecenttospeakhuskily.Tohisorderlymindthissituationcouldbehandledonlyinoneway.Itwasaplain,straightissueofthestrongmanhumblinghimself--nottoomuchofcourse,butsufficiently:anditcalled,inhisopinion,forthelowvoice,theclenchedhand,andthebrokenwhisper.Speakingashehadspoken,hehadgiventhescenetherightkeyfromthestart--orwouldhavedoneifshehadnotgotinaheadofhimandopeneditonanote

ofabsurdcheeriness?Derekfoundhimselfresentinghercheeriness.OftenashehadattemptedduringthevoyagefromEnglandtovisualizetohimselfthisfirstmeeting,hehadneverpicturedJillsmilingbrightlyathim.Itwasajollysmile,andmadeherlookextremelypretty,butitjarreduponhim.Amomentbeforehehadbeenhalfrelieved,halfdisconcerted:nowhewasdefinitelydisconcerted.Hesearchedinhismindforacriticismofherattitude,andcametotheconclusionthatwhatwaswrongwithitwasthatitwastoofriendly.Friendlinessiswellenoughinitsway,butinwhatshouldhavebeenatenseclashingofstrongemotionsitdidnotseemtoDerekfitting.

"Didyouhaveapleasanttrip?"askedJill."Haveyoucomeoveronbusiness?"

AfeelingofbewildermentcameuponDerek.Itwaswrong,itwasallwrong.Ofcourse,shemightbespeakinglikethistocloakintensefeeling,but,ifso,shehadcertainlysucceeded.Fromhermanner,heandshemightbecasualacquaintances.Apleasanttrip!Inanotherminuteshewouldbeaskinghimhowhehadcomeoutonthesweepstakeontheship'srun.Withasenseofputtinghisshouldertosomeheavyweightandheavingatit,hesoughttolifttheconversationtoahigherplane.

"Icametofind_you_!"hesaid;stillhuskilybutnotsohuskilyasbefore.Therearedegreesofhuskiness,andDerek'swassharpenedalittlebyatouchofirritation.

"Yes?"saidJill.

Derekwasnowfermenting.Whatsheoughttohavesaid,hedidnotknow,butheknewthatitwasnot"Yes?""Yes?"inthecircumstanceswasalmostasbadas"Really?"

Therewasapause.Jillwaslookingathimwithafrankandunembarrassedgazewhichsomehowdeepenedhissenseofannoyance.Hadshelookedathimcoldly,hecouldhaveunderstoodandeven



appreciatedit.Hehadbeenexpectingcoldness,andhadbracedhimselftocombatit.HewasstillnotquitesureinhismindwhetherhewasplayingtherôleofapenitentoraKingCophetua,butineithercharacterhemighthaveanticipatedalittletemporarycoldness,whichitwouldhavebeenhiseasytasktomelt.Buthehadneverexpectedtobelookedatasifhewereaspecimeninamuseum,andthatwashowhewasfeelingnow.Jillwasnotlookingathim--shewasinspectinghim,examininghim,andhechafedundertheprocess.

Jill,unconsciousofthediscomfortshewascausing,continuedtogaze.Shewastryingtodiscoverinjustwhatrespecthehadchangedfromthegodhehadbeen.Certainlynotinlooks.Hewasashandsomeasever--handsomer,indeed,forthesunshineandcleanbreezesoftheAtlantichadgivenhimanexceedinglybecomingcoatoftan.Andyethemusthavechanged,fornowshecouldlookuponhimquitedispassionatelyandcriticizehimwithoutatremor.Itwaslikeseeingacopyofagreatpainting.Everythingwasthere,excepttheonethingthatmattered,themagicandtheglamour.Itwaslike....Shesuddenlyrememberedasceneinthedressing-roomwhenthecompanyhadbeeninBaltimore.LoisDenham,dulytherecipientofthesunburstwhichherfriendIzzyhadpromisedher,hadunfortunately,inaspiritofgirlishcuriosity,takenittoajewellertobepriced,andthejewellerhadblastedheryounglifebydeclaringitapasteimitation.Jillrecalledhowthestrickengirl--previoustocallingIzzyonthe

longdistanceandtellinghimanumberofthingswhich,whileprobablynotnewstohim,musthavebeenpainfulhearing--hadpassedthevileobjectroundthedressing-roomforinspection.Theimitationwasperfect.Ithadbeenimpossibleforthegirlstotellthatthestoneswerenotrealdiamonds.Yetthejeweller,withhissixthsense,hadseenthroughtheminatrifleundertenseconds.Jillcametotheconclusionthathernewly-discoveredloveforWallyMasonhadequippedherwithasixthsense,andthatbyitsaidshewasreallyforthefirsttimeseeingDerekashewas.

DerekhadnottheprivilegeofbeingabletoreadJill'sthoughts.AllhecouldseewastheouterJill,andtheouterJill,asshehadalwaysdone,wasstirringhisemotions.Herdaintinessafflictedhim.Notfor

thefirst,thesecond,orthethirdtimesincetheyhadcomeintoeachother'slives,hewasastoundedatthestrengthoftheappealwhichJillhadforhimwhentheyweretogether,ascontrastedwithitsweaknesswhentheywereapart.Hemadeanotherattempttoestablishthesceneonaloftierplane.

"WhatafoolIwas!"hesighed."Jill!Canyoueverforgiveme?"

Hetriedtotakeherhand.Jillskilfullyeludedhim.

"Why,ofcourseI'veforgivenyou,Derek,iftherewas,anythingtoforgive."

"Anythingtoforgive!"Derekbegantogetintohisstride.Thesewerethelinesonwhichhehaddesiredtheinterviewtodevelop."Iwasabrute!Acad!"

"Oh,no!"

"Iwas.Oh,Ihavebeenthroughhell!"

Jillturnedherheadaway.Shedidnotwanttohurthim,butnothingcouldhavekeptherfromsmiling.Shehadbeensosurethathewould



saythatsoonerorlater.

"Jill!"Derekhadmisinterpretedthecauseofhermovement,andhadattributedittoemotion."Tellmethateverythingisasitwasbefore."

Jillturned.

"I'mafraidIcan'tsaythat,Derek."

"Ofcoursenot!"agreedDerekinacomfortableglowofmanlyremorse.Helikedhimselfinthecharacterofthestrongmanabashed."Itwouldbetoomuchtoexpect,Iknow.But,whenwearemarried...."

"Doyoureallywanttomarryme?"

"Jill!"

"Iwonder!"

"Howcanyoudoubtit?"

Jilllookedathim.

"Haveyouthoughtwhatitwouldmean?"

"Whatitwouldmean?"

"Well,yourmother...."

"Oh!"DerekdismissedLadyUnderhillwithagrandgesture.

"Yes,"persistedJill,"but,ifshedisapprovedofyourmarryingmebefore,wouldn'tshedisapproveagooddealmorenow,whenIhaven'tapennyintheworldandamjustinthechorus...."

AsortofstrangledsoundproceededfromDerek'sthroat.

"Inthechorus!"

"Didn'tyouknow?IthoughtFreddiemusthavetoldyou."

"Inthechorus!"Derekstammered."IthoughtyouwerehereasaguestofMrs.Peagrim's."

"SoIam--likealltherestofthecompany."

"But....But...."

"Yousee,itwouldbeboundtomakeeverythingalittledifficult,"

saidJill.Herfacewasgrave,butherlipsweretwitching."Imean,youareratheraprominentman,aren'tyou,andifyoumarriedachorus-girl...."

"Nobodywouldknow,"saidDereklimply.

Jillopenedhereyes.

"Nobodywould_know_!"Shelaughed."But,ofcourse,you'venevermetourPress-agent.Ifyouthinkthatnobodywouldknowthatagirlin



thecompanyhadmarriedabaronetwhowasamemberofparliamentandexpectedtobeintheCabinetinafewyears,you'rewronginghim!Thenewswouldbeonthefrontpageofallthepaperstheverynextday--columnsofit,withphotographs.TherewouldbearticlesaboutitintheSundaypapers.Illustrated!AndthenitwouldbecabledtoEnglandandwouldappearinthepapersthere....Yousee,you'reaveryimportantperson,Derek."

Dereksatclutchingthearmsofhischair.Hisfacewaschalky.Thoughhehadneverbeeninclinedtounderestimatehisimportanceasafigureinthepubliceye,hehadoverlookedthedisadvantagesconnectedwithsuchaneminence.Hegurgledwordlessly.HehadbeenpreparedtobraveLadyUnderhill'swrathandasserthisrighttomarrywhomhepleased,butthiswasdifferent.

Jillwatchedhimcuriouslyandwithacertainpity.Itwassoeasytoreadwhatwaspassinginhismind.Shewonderedwhathewouldsay,howhewouldflounderoutofhisunfortunateposition.Shehadnoillusionsabouthimnow.Shedidnotevencontemplatethepossibilityofchivalrywinningthebattlewhichwasgoingonwithinhim.

"Itwouldbeveryawkward,wouldn'tit?"shesaid.

AndthenpityhaditswaywithJill.Hehadtreatedherbadly;fora

timeshehadthoughtthathehadcrushedalltheheartoutofher:buthewassuffering,andshehatedtoseeanybodysuffer.

"Besides,"shesaid,"I'mengagedtosomebodyelse."

Asasuffocatingman,hislipstothetubeofoxygen,graduallycomesbacktolife,Derekrevived--slowlyasthemeaningofherwordssankintohismind,thenwithasuddenabruptness.

"What?"hecried.

"I'mgoingtomarrysomebodyelse.AmannamedWallyMason."

Derekswallowed.Thechalkylookdiedoutofhisface,andheflushedhotly.Hiseyes,halfrelieved,halfindignant,glowedundertheirpent-houseofeyebrow.Hesatforamomentinsilence.

"Ithinkyoumighthavetoldmebefore!"hesaidhuffily.

Jilllaughed.

"Yes,IsupposeIoughttohavetoldyoubefore."

"Leadingmeon...!"

Jillpattedhimonthearm.

"Nevermind,Derek!It'sallovernow.Anditwasgreatfun,wasn'tit!"

"Fun!"

"Shallwegoanddance?Themusicisjuststarting."

"I_won't_dance!"



Jillgotup.

"Imust,"shesaid."I'msohappyIcan'tkeepstill.Well,good-bye,Derek,incaseIdon'tseeyouagain.Itwasnicemeetingafterallthistime.Youhaven'talteredabit!"

Derekwatchedherflitdowntheaisle,sawherjumpupthelittleladderontothestage,watchedhervanishintotheswirlofthedance.Hereachedforacigarette,openedhiscase,andfounditempty.Heutteredamirthless,Byroniclaugh.Thethingseemedtohimsymbolic.

III

Nothavingacigaretteofhisown,Derekgotupandwenttolookfortheonlymanheknewwhocouldgivehimone:andafterasearchofafewminutescameuponFreddieallaloneinadarkcorner,apartfromthethrong.ItwasaverydifferentFreddiefromthemoodyyouthwhohadreturnedtotheboxafterhisconversationwithUncleChris.Hewasleaningagainstapieceofscenerywithhisheadtiltedbackandabeamofstartledhappinessonhisface.SoraptwasheinhisreflectionsthathedidnotbecomeawareofDerek'sapproachuntilthelatterspoke.

"Gotacigarette,Freddie?"

Freddiewithdrewhisgazefromtheroof.

"Hullo,oldson!Cigarette?Certainlyandbyallmeans.Cigarettes?Wherearethecigarettes?Mr.Rooke,forward!Showcigarettes."HeextendedhiscasetoDerek,whohelpedhimselfinsombresilence,findinghisboyhood'sfriend'sexuberancehardtobear."Isay,Derek,oldscream,themostextraordinarythinghashappened!You'llneverguess.Tocutalongstoryshortandcometotheblow-outofthescenario,I'mengaged!Engaged,oldcrumpet!YouknowwhatImean--engagedtobemarried!"

"Ugh!"saidDerekgruffly,frowningoverhiscigarette.

"Don'twonderyou'resurprised,"saidFreddie,lookingathimalittlewistfully,forhisfriendhadscarcelybeengushing,andhewouldhavewelcomedabitofenthusiasm."Canhardlybelieveitmyself."

Derekawoketoasenseoftheconventions.

"Congratulateyou,"hesaid."DoIknowher?"

"Notyet,butyouwillsoon.She'sagirlinthecompany--inthechorusasamatteroffact.GirlnamedNellyBryant.Anabsolute

corker.I'llgofurther--atopper.You'lllikeher,oldman."

Derekwaslookingathim,amazed.

"GoodHeavens!"hesaid.

"Extraordinaryhowthesethingshappen,"proceededFreddie."Lookingback,Icansee,ofcourse,thatIalwaysthoughtheratopper,buttheideaofgettingengaged--Idon'tknow--sortofthingthatdoesn'toccurtoachappie,ifyouknowwhatImean.WhatImeantosayis,we



hadalwaysbeenthegreatestofpalsandallthat,butitneverstruckmethatshewouldthinkitmuchofawheezegettinghookedupforlifewithachaplikeme.Wejustsortofdriftedalongandsoforth.Allveryjollyandwhatnot.Andthenthisevening--Idon'tknow.Ihadabitofahump,whatwithonethingandanother,andshewasmostdashedsweetandpatientandsoothingand--and--well,andwhatnot,don'tyouknow,andsuddenly--deucedrummysensation--thejollyoldscalesseemedtofall,ifyoufollowme,frommygoodoldeyes;Idon'tknowifyougettheidea.Isuddenlyseemedtolookmyselfsquarelyintheeyeballandsaytomyself,'Freddie,oldtop,howdowego?Arewenotmissingagoodthing?'And,byJove,thinkingitover,IfoundthatIwasabsolutelycorrect-o!You'venonotionhowdashedsympatheticsheis,oldman!Imeantosay,Ihadthishump,youknow,owingtoonethingandanother,andwasfeelingthatlifewasmoreorlessofajollyoldsnareanddelusion,andshebuckedmeupandallthat,andsuddenlyIfoundmyselfkissingherandallthatsortofrot,andshewaskissingmeandsoonandsoforth,andshe'sgotthemostrippingeyes,andtherewasnobodyabout,andthelongandtheshortofitwas,oldboy,thatIsaid,'Let'sgetmarried!'andshesaid,'When?'andthatwasthat,ifyouseewhatImean.TheschemenowistopopdowntotheCityHallandgetalicence,whichitappearsyouhavetohaveifyouwanttobringthissortofbingeoffwithanysuccessandvim,andthenwhathoforthepadre!Lookingatitfromeveryangle,abitofagoodegg,what?Happiestmaninthe

world,andallthatsortofthing."

AtthispointinhissomewhatincoherentepicFreddiepaused.Ithadoccurredtohimthathehadperhapslaidhimselfopentoachargeofmonopolisingtheconversation.

"Isay!You'llforgivemydwellingabitonthisthing,won'tyou?Neverfoundagirlwhowouldlooktwiceatmebefore,andit'sratherunsettledtheoldbean.JustoccurredtomethatImayhavebeentalkingaboutmyownaffairsabit.Yourturnnow,oldthing.Sitdown,astheblightersinthenovelsusedtosay,andtellmethestoryofyourlife.You'veseenJill,ofcourse?"

"Yes,"saidDerekshortly.

"Andit'sallright,eh?Fine!We'llmakeadoubleweddingofit,what?Notabadidea,that!Imeantosay,themanofGodmightmakeareductionforquantityandshadehisfeeabit.Dothejobhalfprice!"

Derekthrewdowntheendofhiscigarette,andcrusheditwithhisheel.AcloserobserverthanFreddiewouldhavedetectedlongerethisthefactthathisdemeanourwasnotthatofahappyandsuccessfulwooer.

"JillandIarenotgoingtobemarried,"hesaid.

AlookofblankastonishmentcameintoFreddie'scheerfulface.Hecouldhardlybelievethathehadheardcorrectly.Itistruethat,ingloomiermood,hehadhazardedthetheorytoUncleChristhatJill'sindependencemightleadhertorefuseDerek,buthehadnotreallybelievedinthepossibilityofsuchathingevenatthetime,andnow,inthefullfloodofoptimismconsequentonhisownengagement,itseemedevenmoreincredible.

"GreatScott!"hecried."Didshegiveyoutheraspberry?"



ItistobedoubtedwhethertheprideoftheUnderhillswouldhavepermittedDerektoreplyintheaffirmative,evenifFreddiehadphrasedhisquestiondifferently;butthebrutaldirectnessofthequerymadesuchacourseimpossibleforhim.NothingwasdearertoDerekthanhisself-esteem,and,evenattheexpenseofthetruth,hewasresolvedtoshielditfrominjury.TofaceFreddieandconfessthatanygirlintheworldhadgivenhim,DerekUnderhill,whathecoarselytermedtheraspberrywasatasksorevoltingastobeutterlybeyondhispowers.

"Nothingofthekind!"hesnapped."Itwasbecausewebothsawthatthethingwouldbeimpossible.Whydidn'tyoutellmethatJillwasinthechorusofthisdamnedpiece?"

Freddie'smouthslowlyopened.Hewastryingnottorealizethemeaningofwhathisfriendwassaying.Hiswasafaithfulsoul,andforyears--toallintentsandpurposesforpracticallythewholeofhislife--hehadlookeduptoDerekandreverencedhim.HeabsolutelyrefusedtobelievethatDerekwasintendingtoconveywhatheseemedtobetryingtoconvey;for,ifhewas,well...byJove...itwastoorottenandAlgyMartynhadbeenrightafterallandthefellowwassimply....

"Youdon'tmean,oldman,"saidFreddiewithanalmostpleadingnoteinhisvoice,"thatyou'regoingtobackoutofmarryingJillbecauseshe'sinthechorus?"

Dereklookedaway,andscowled.HewasfindingFreddie,inthecapacityofinquisitor,astryingashehadfoundhimintherôleofexuberantfiancé.Itoffendedhispridetohavetomakeexplanationstoonewhomhehadalwaysregardedwithapatronizingtoleranceasnotabadfellowinhiswaybutineveryessentialrespectnegligible.

"Ihavetobesensible,"hesaid,chafingastheindignityofhispositionintrudeditselfmoreandmore."Youknowwhatitwouldmean....Paragraphsinallthepapers....photographs...thenews

cabledtoEngland...everybodyreadingitandmisunderstanding....I'vegotmycareertothinkof....Itwouldcrippleme...."

Hisvoicetrailedoff,andtherewassilenceforamoment.ThenFreddieburstintospeech.Hisgood-naturedfacewashardwithunwontedscorn.Itscheerfulvacuityhadchangedtostonycontempt.ForthesecondtimeintheeveningthejollyoldscaleshadfallenfromFreddie'sgoodoldeyes,and,asJillhaddone,hesawDerekashewas.

"Mysaintedaunt!"hesaidslowly."Sothat'sit,what?Well,I'vealwaysthoughtadashedlotofyou,asyouknow.I'vealwayslookeduptoyouasabitofanibandwishedIwaslikeyou.But,greatScott!

ifthat'sthesortofachapyouare,I'mdeucedgladI'mnot!I'mgoingtowakeupinthemiddleofthenightandthinkhowunlikeyouIamandpatmyselfontheback!RonnyDevereuxwasperfectlyright.Atick'satick,andthat'sallthereistosayaboutit.GoodoldRonnytoldmewhatyouwere,and,likeasillyass,Iwastedalotoftimetryingtomakehimbelieveyouweren'tthatsortofchapatall.It'snogoodstandingtherelookinglikeyourmother,"saidFreddiefirmly."Thisiswherewejollywellpartbrass-rags!Ifweevermeetagain,I'lltroubleyounottospeaktome,becauseI'veareputationtokeepup!Sothereyouhaveitinaballynutshell!"



ScarcelyhadFreddieceasedtoadministerittohisformerfriendinaballynutshell,whenUncleChris,warmanddishevelledfromthedanceasinterpretedbyMrs.WaddesleighPeagrim,camebustlingup,savingDerekthenecessityofreplyingtotheharangue.

"Well,Underhill,mydearfellow,"beganUncleChrisaffably,attachinghimselftotheother'sarm,"what...?"

Hebrokeoff,forDerek,freeinghisarmwithawrench,turnedandwalkedrapidlyaway.DerekhadnodesiretogooverthewholethingagainwithUncleChris.Hewantedtobealone,tobuildup,painfullyandlaboriously,theruinsofhisself-esteem.TheprideoftheUnderhillshadhadabadevening.

UncleChristurnedtoFreddie.

"Whatisthematter?"heaskedblankly.

"I'lltellyouwhat'sthejollyoldmatter!"criedFreddie."Theblighterisn'tgoingtomarrypoorJillafterall!He'schangedhisrottenmind!It'soff!"

"Off?"

"Absolutelyoff!"

"Absolutelyoff?"

"Napoo!"saidFreddie."He'safraidofwhatwillhappentohisblastedcareerifhemarriesagirlwho'sbeeninthechorus."

"But,mydearboy!"UncleChrisblinked."But,mydearboy!Thisisridiculous....Surely,ifIweretospeakaword...."

"Youcanifyoulike._I_wouldn'tspeaktothemanagainifyoupaidme!Butitwon'tdoanygood,sowhat'stheuse?"

SlowlyUncleChrisadjustedhismindtothedisaster.

"Thenyoumean...?"

"It'soff!"saidFreddie.

ForamomentUncleChrisstoodmotionless.Then,withasuddenjerk,heseemedtostiffenhisbackbone.Hisfacewasbleak,buthepulledathismoustachejauntily.

"_Morituritesalutant!_"hesaid."Good-bye,Freddie,myboy."

Heturnedaway,gallantandupright,theoldsoldier.

"Whereareyougoing?"askedFreddie.

"Overthetop!"saidUncleChris.

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Iamgoing,"saidUncleChrissteadily,"tofindMrs.Peagrim!"



"GoodGod!"criedFreddie.Hefollowedhim,protestingweakly,buttheothergavenosignthathehadheard.Freddiesawhimdisappearintothestage-box,and,turning,foundJillathiselbow.

"WheredidUncleChrisgo?"askedJill."Iwanttospeaktohim."

"He'sinthestage-box,withMrs.Peagrim."

"WithMrs.Peagrim?"

"Proposingtoher,"saidFreddiesolemnly.

Jillstared.

"ProposingtoMrs.Peagrim?Whatdoyoumean?"

Freddiedrewheraside,andbegantoexplain.

IV

Inthedimnessofthestage-box,hiseyesalittleglassyandadulldespairinhissoul,UncleChriswaswonderinghowtobegin.Inhishotyouthhehadbeenratheradevilofafellowinbetweendances,a

coo-erofsoftphrasesandastealerofneververystoutlywithheldkisses.HerememberedonetimeinBangalore...butthathadnothingtodowiththecase.Thepointwas,howtobeginwithMrs.Peagrim.Thefactthattwenty-fiveyearsagohehadcrushedinhisarmsbeneaththeshadowsofthedeodarsagirlwhosenamehehadforgotten,thoughherememberedthatshehadwornadressofsomepinkstuff,wasimmaterialandirrelevant.WashetocrushMrs.Peagriminhisarms?Not,thoughtUncleChristohimself,onabet.Hecontentedhimselfforthemomentwithbendinganintensegazeuponherandaskingifshewastired.

"Alittle,"pantedMrs.Peagrim,who,thoughshedancedoftenandvigorously,wasneverinthebestofcondition,owingtoherhabitof

neutralizingthebeneficenteffectsofexercisebysurreptitiouscandy-eating."I'malittleoutofbreath."

UncleChrishadobservedthisforhimself,andithadnothelpedhimtofacehistask.Lovelywomanlosessomethingofherqueenlydignitywhenshepuffs.Inwardly,hewasthinkinghowexactlyhishostessresembledthethirdfromtheleftofatroupeofperformingsea-lionswhichhehadseensomeyearsagoononeofhisrarevisitstoavaudevillehouse.

"Yououghtnottotireyourself,"hesaidwithadifficulttenderness.

"I_am_sofondofdancing,"pleadedMrs.Peagrim.Recoveringsomeof

herbreath,shegazedathercompanionwithasortofshort-windedarchness."Youarealwayssosympathetic,MajorSelby."

"AmI?"saidUncleChris."AmI?"

"Youknowyouare!"

UncleChrisswallowedquickly.

"Iwonderifyouhaveeverwondered,"hebegan,andstopped.Hefelt



thathewasnotputtingitaswellashemight."Iwonderifithaseverstruckyouthatthere'sareason."Hestoppedagain.Heseemedtorememberreadingsomethinglikethatinanadvertisementinamagazine,andhedidnotwanttotalklikeanadvertisement."Iwonderifithaseverstruckyou,Mrs.Peagrim,"hebeganagain,"thatanysympathyonmypartmightbeduetosomedeeperemotionwhich....Haveyouneversuspectedthatyouhaveneversuspected...."UncleChrisbegantofeelthathemustbracehimselfup.Usuallyamanoffluentspeech,hewasnotathisbestto-night.Hewasjustabouttotryagain,whenhecaughthishostess'eye,andthesoftgleaminitsenthimcoweringbackintothesilenceasifheweretakingcoverfromanenemy'sshrapnel.

Mrs.Peagrimtouchedhimonthearm.

"Youweresaying...?"shemurmuredencouragingly.

UncleChrisshuthiseyes.Hisfingerspresseddesperatelyintothevelvetcurtainbesidehim.HefeltashehadfeltwhenarawlieutenantinIndia,duringhisfirsthill-campaign,whentheetiquetteoftheservicehadcompelledhimtoriseandwalkupanddowninfrontofhismenunderadesultoryshowerofjezail-bullets.Heseemedtohearthedamnedthings_whop-whopping_now...andalmostwishedthathecouldreallyhearthem.Oneortwogoodbulletsjust

nowwouldbeawelcomediversion.

"Yes?"saidMrs.Peagrim.--

"Haveyouneverfelt,"babbledUncleChris,"that,feelingasIfeel,Imighthavefelt...thatistosaymightbefeelingafeeling...?"

Therewasatapatthedoorofthebox.UncleChrisstartedviolently.Jillcamein.

"Oh,Ibegyourpardon,"shesaid."Iwantedtospeak...."

"Youwantedtospeaktome?"saidUncleChris,boundingup.

"Certainly,certainly,certainly,ofcourse.Ifyouwillexcusemeforamoment?"

Mrs.Peagrimbowedcoldly.Theinterruptionhadannoyedher.ShehadnonotionwhoJillwas,andsheresentedtheintrusionatthisparticularjunctureintensely.NotsoUncleChris,whoskippedoutintothepassagelikeayounglamb.

"AmIintime?"askedJillinawhisper.

"Intime?"

"YouknowwhatImean.UncleChris,listentome!Youarenotto

proposetothatawfulwoman.Doyouunderstand?"

UncleChrisshookhishead.

"Thedieiscast!"

"Thedieisn'tanythingofthesort,"saidJill."Unless...."Shestopped,aghast."Youdon'tmeanthatyouhavedoneitalready?"

"Well,no.Tobeperfectlyaccurate,no.But...."



UncleChrisseatedhimselfwithcomposure.Theweaknesshadpassed,andhewashimselfagain.

"Oh,nothing,nothing.Sometrivialdifficulty,whichIwasabletodisposeofinafewwords."

Mrs.Peagrimwouldhavelikedtocontinueherresearches,butafeelingthatitwaswisernottostraytoolongfromthemainpointrestrainedher.Shebenttowardshim.

"Youweregoingtosaysomethingwhenthatgirlinterruptedus."

UncleChrisshothiscuffswithadebonairgesture.

"WasI?WasI?Tobesure,yes.Iwassayingthatyououghtnottoletyourselfgettired.Deuceofathing,gettingtired.Playsthedickenswiththesystem."

Mrs.Peagrimwasdisconcerted.Theatmosphereseemedtohavechanged,andshedidnotlikeit.Sheendeavouredtorestorethetoneoftheconversation.

"Youaresosympathetic,"shesighed,feelingthatshecouldnotdobetterthantobeginagainatthatpoint.Theremarkhadproduced

goodresultsbeforeanditmightdosoasecondtime.

"Yes,"agreedUncleChrischeerily."Yousee,Ihaveseensomethingofallthissortofthing,andIrealizetheimportanceofit.Iknowwhatallthismodernrushandstrainoflifeisforawomaninyourposition.Partieseverynight...dancing...athousandandonecallsonthevitality...boundtohaveaneffectsoonerorlater,unless--_unless_,"saidUncleChrissolemnly,"onetakessteps.Unlessoneactsintime.Ihadafriend--"Hisvoicesank--"IhadaverydearfriendoverinLondon,LadyAlice--butthenamewouldconveynothing--thepointisthatshewasinexactlythesamepositionasyou.Ontherushallthetime.Neverstopped.Theendwasinevitable.Shecaughtcold,hadn'tsufficientvitalitytothrowitoff,wenttoa

danceinmid-winter,contractedpneumonia...."UncleChrissighed."Alloverinthreedays,"hesaidsadly."Nowatthattime,"heresumed,"IdidnotknowwhatIknownow.IfIhadheardofNervinothen...."Heshookhishead."Itmighthavesavedherlife.It_would_ havesavedherlife.Itellyou,Mrs.Peagrim,thatthereisnothing,thereisnolackofvitalitywhichNervinocannotsetright.Iamnophysicianmyself,Ispeakasalayman,butitactsontheredcorpusclesoftheblood...."

Mrs.Peagrim'sfacewasstony.Shehadnotspokenbefore,becausehehadgivenhernoopportunity,butshespokenowinahardvoice.

"MajorSelby!"

"Mrs.Peagrim?"

"Iamnotinterestedinpatentmedicines!"

"OnecanhardlycallNervinothat,"saidUncleChrisreproachfully."Itisasovereignspecific.Youcangetitatanydrugstore.Itcomesintwosizes,thedollar-fifty--orlarge--size,andthe...."

Mrs.Peagrimrosemajestically.



"MajorSelby,Iamtired...."

"Precisely.And,asIsay,Nervino...."

"Please,"saidMrs.Peagrimcoldly,"gotothestage-doorandseeifyoucanfindmylimousine.Itshouldbewaitinginthestreet."

"Certainly,"saidUncleChris."Why,certainly,certainly,certainly."

Helefttheboxandproceededacrossthestage.Hewalkedwithalissomjauntiness.Hiseyewasbright.Oneortwoofthosewhomhepassedonhiswayhadtheideathatthisfine-lookingmanwasinpain.Theyfanciedthathewasmoaning.ButUncleChriswasnotmoaning.Hewashummingagaysnatchfromthelightermusicofthe'nineties.

CHAPTERXXI

WALLYMASONLEARNSANEWEXERCISE

I

Upontheroofofhisapartment,farabovethebustleandclamourofthebusycity,WallyMason,ateleveno'clockonthemorningafterMrs.Peagrim'sBohemianparty,wasgreetingthenewday,aswashiscustom,bygoingthroughhisante-breakfastexercises.Mankindisdividedintotwoclasses--thosewhodosetting-upexercisesbeforebreakfastandthosewhoknowtheyoughttobutdon't.TotheformerandmorepraiseworthyclassWallyhadbelongedsinceboyhood.Lifemightbevainandtheworldavoid,butstillhetouchedhistoestheprescribednumberoftimesandtwistedhismuscularbodyaboutaccordingtotheritual.Hedidsothismorningalittlemore

vigorouslythanusual,partlybecausehehadsatuptoolatethenightbeforeandthoughttoomuchandsmokedtoomuch,withtheresultthathehadrisenheavy-eyed,atthepresentdisgracefulhour,andpartlybecausehehopedbywearyingthefleshtostilltherestlessnessofthespirit.SpringgenerallymadeWallyrestless,butneverpreviouslyhaditbroughthimthisdistractedfeverishness.Sohelayonhisbackandwavedhislegsintheair,anditwasonlywhenhehadrisenandwasabouttogostillfurtherintothematterthatheperceivedJillstandingbesidehim.

"GoodLord!"saidWally.

"Don'tstop,"saidJill."I'menjoyingit.'

"Howlonghaveyoubeenhere?"

"Oh,Ionlyjustarrived.Irangthebell,andtheniceoldladywhoiscookingyourlunchtoldmeyouwereouthere.'

"Notlunch.Breakfast."

"Breakfast!Atthishour?"



"Won'tyoujoinme?"

"I'lljoinyou.ButIhadmybreakfastlongago."

Wallyfoundhisdespondencymagicallydispelled.ItwasextraordinaryhowthemeresightofJillcouldmaketheworldadifferentplace.Itwastruethesunhadbeenshiningbeforeherarrival,butinaflabby,weak-mindedway,notwiththebrillianceithadacquiredimmediatelyheheardhervoice.

"Ifyoudon'tmindwaitingforaboutthreeminuteswhileIhaveashoweranddress...."

"Oh,istheentertainmentover?"askedJill,disappointed."Ialwaysarrivetoolateforeverything."

"Oneofthesedaysyoushallseemegothroughthewholeprogramme,includingshadow-boxingandthegoose-step.Bringyourfriends!ButatthemomentIthinkitwouldbemoreofatreatforyoutowatchmeeatanegg.Goandlookattheview.FromoverthereyoucanseeHoboken."

"I'veseenit.Idon'tthinkmuchofit."

"Well,then,onthissidewehaveBrooklyn.Thereisnostint.Wander

toandfroandenjoyyourself.Therendezvousisinthesitting-roominaboutfourmoments."

Wallyvaultedthroughthepassage-windowanddisappeared.Thenhereturnedandputhisheadout.

"Isay!"

"Yes?"

"Justoccurredtome.Yourunclewon'tbewantingthisplaceforhalfanhourorso,willhe?Imean,therewillbetimeformetohaveabiteofbreakfast?"

"Idon'tsupposehewillrequireyourlittlehometillsometimeintheevening."

"Fine!"

Wallydisappearedagain,andafewmomentslaterJillheardthefaintsplashingofwater.Shewalkedtotheparapetandlookeddown.Onthewindowsofthenearerbuildingsthesuncastglitteringbeams,butfurtherawayafaint,translucentmisthidthecity.TherewasSpringhumidityintheair.Inthestreetshehadfounditoppressive:butonthebreezysummitofthissteel-and-graniteclifftheairwascoolandexhilarating.PeacestoleintoJill'sheartasshewatchedtheboats

droppingslowlydowntheEastRiver,whichgleamedlikedullsteelthroughthehaze.ShehadcometoJourney'sEnd,andshewashappy.Troubleandheartacheseemedasdistantasthosehurryingblackantsdownonthestreets.Shefeltfarawayfromtheworldonanenduringmountainofrest.ShegavealittlesighofcontentmentandturnedtogoinasWallycalled.

Inthesitting-roomherfeelingofsecuritydeepened.Here,theworldwasfartherawaythanever.Eventhefaintnoiseswhichhadrisentotheroofwereinaudible,andonlythecosytick-tockofthe



grandfather'sclockpunctuatedthestillness.

ShelookedatWallywithaquickeningsenseofaffection.Hehadthedivinegiftofsilenceattherighttime.Yes,thiswashome.Thiswaswhereshebelonged.

"Itdidn'ttakemein,youknow,"saidJillatlength,restingherarmsonthetableandregardinghimseverely.

Wallylookedup.

"Whatdidn'ttakeyouin?"

"Thatbathofyours.Yes,Iknowyouturnedonthecoldshower,butyoustoodatasafedistanceandwatchedit_show_!"

Wallywavedhisfork.

"AsHeavenismywitness....Lookatmyhair!Stilldamp!AndIcanshowyouthetowel."

"Well,then,I'llbetitwasthehotwater.Whyweren'tyouatMrs.Peagrim'spartylastnight?"

"Itwouldtaketoolongtoexplainallmyreasons,butoneofthemwasthatIwasn'tinvited.Howdiditgooff?"

"Splendidly.Freddie'sengaged!"

Wallyloweredhiscoffeecup.

"Engaged!Youdon'tmeanwhatissometimesslangilycalledbetrothed?"

"Ido.He'sengagedtoNellyBryant.Nellytoldmeallaboutitwhenshegothomelastnight.ItseemsthatFreddiesaidtoher'Whatho!'andshesaid'Youbet!'andFreddiesaid'Pippip!'andthethingwassettled."Jillbubbled."Freddiewantstogointovaudevillewith

her!"

"No!TheJugglingRookes?OrRookeandBryant,thecross-talkteam,athoroughlyrefinedact,swelldressersonandoff?"

"Idon'tknow.Butitdoesn'tmatter.Nellyisdomestic.She'sgoingtohavealittlehomeinthecountry,whereshecangrowchickensandpigs."

"Father'sinthepigstye,youcantellhimbyhishat,eh?"

"Yes.Theywillbeveryhappy.Freddiewillbeafathertoherparrot."

Wally'scheerfulnessdiminishedatrifle.ThecontemplationofFreddie'senviablelotbroughtwithittheinevitablecontrastwithhisown.Alittlehomeinthecountry....Oh,well!

II

Therewasapause.Jillwaslookingalittlegrave.



"Wally!"

"Yes?"

Sheturnedherfaceaway,fortherewasagleamofmischiefinhereyeswhichshedidnotwishhimtoobserve.

"Derekwasattheparty!"

Wallyhadbeenabouttobutterapieceoftoast.Thebutter,jerkedfromtheknifebytheconvulsivestartwhichhegave,poppedupinasemi-circleandplumpedontothetablecloth.Herecoveredhimselfquickly.

"Sorry!"hesaid."Youmustn'tmindthat.Theywantmetobesecond-stringforthe"BoostingtheButter"eventatthenextOlympicGames,andI'mpractisingallthetime....Underhillwasthere,eh?"

"Yes."

"Youmethim?"

"Yes."

Wallyfiddledwithhisknife.

"Didhecomeover....Imean...hadhecomespeciallytoseeyou?"

"Yes."

"Isee."

Therewasanotherpause.

"Hewantstomarryyou?"

"Hesaidhewantedtomarryme."

Wallygotupandwenttothewindow.Jillcouldsmilesafelynow,andshedid,buthervoicewasstillgrave.

"WhatoughtItodo,Wally?IthoughtIwouldaskyouasyouaresuchafriend."

Wallyspokewithoutturning.

"Yououghttomarryhim,ofcourse."

"Youthinkso?"

"Yououghttomarryhim,ofcourse,"saidWallydoggedly."Youlovehim,andthefactthathecameallthewaytoAmericamustmeanthathestilllovesyou.Marryhim!"

"But...."Jillhesitated."Yousee,there'sadifficulty."

"Whatdifficulty?"

"Well...itwassomethingIsaidtohimjustbeforehewentaway.Isaidsomethingthatmadeitalittledifficult."



Wallycontinuedtoinspecttheroofsbelow.

"Whatdidyousay?"

"Well...itwassomething...somethingthatIdon'tbelieveheliked...somethingthatmayinterferewithhismarryingme."

"Whatdidyousay?"

"ItoldhimIwasgoingtomarry_you_!"

Wallyspunround.Atthesametimeheleapedintheair.Theeffectofthecombinationofmovementswastocausehimtostaggeracrosstheroomand,aftertwoorthreeimpromptudancestepswhichwouldhaveinterestedMrs.Peagrim,toclutchatthemantelpiecetosavehimselffromfalling.Jillwatchedhimwithquietapproval.

"Why,that'swonderful,Wally!Isthatanotherofyourmorningexercises?IfFreddiedoesgointovaudeville,yououghttogethimtoletyoujointhetroupe."

Wallywasblinkingatherfromthemantelpiece.

"Jill!"

"Yes?"

"What--what--what...!"

"Now,don'ttalklikeFreddie,evenifyouaregoingintovaudevillewithhim."

"Yousaidyouweregoingtomarry_me_?"

"IsaidIwasgoingtomarryyou!"

"But--doyoumean...?"

ThemischiefdiedoutofJill'seyes.Shemethisgazefranklyandseriously.

"Thelumber'sgone,Wally,"shesaid."Butmyheartisn'tempty.It'squite,quitefull,andit'sgoingtobefullforeverandeverandever."

Wallyleftthemantelpiece,andcameslowlytowardsher.

"Jill!"Hechoked."Jill!"

SuddenlyhepouncedonherandswungheroffherfeetShegavealittlebreathlesscry.

"Wally!Ithoughtyoudidn'tapproveofcavemen!"

"This,"saidWally,"isjustanothernewmorningexerciseI'vethoughtof!"

Jillsatdown,gasping.



"Areyougoingtodothatoften,Wally?"

"Everydayfortherestofmylife!"

"Goodness!"

"Oh,you'llgetusedtoit.It'llgrowonyou."

"Youdon'tthinkIammakingamistakemarryingyou?"

"No,no!I'vegiventhematteralotofthought,and...infact,no,no!"

"No,"saidJillthoughtfully."Ithinkyou'llmakeagoodhusband.Imean,supposeweeverwantthepianomovedorsomething....Wally!"shebrokeoffsuddenly.

"Youhaveourear."

"Comeoutontheroof,"saidJill."Iwanttoshowyousomethingfunny."

Wallyfollowedherout.Theystoodattheparapettogether,lookingdown.

"There!"saidJill,pointing.

Wallylookedpuzzled.

"Iseemanythings,butwhichisthefunnyone?"

"Why,allthesepeople.Overthere--andthere--andthere.Scutteringaboutandthinkingtheyknoweverythingthereistoknow,andnotoneofthemhastheleastideathatIamthehappiestgirlonearth!"

"OrthatI'mthehappiestman!Theirignoranceis--whatisthewordIwant?Abysmal.Theydon'tknowwhatit'sliketostandbesideyouand

seethatlittledimpleinyourchin....Theydon'tknowyou've_got_alittledimpleinyourchin....Theydon'tknow....Theydon'tknow....Why,Idon'tsupposeasingleoneofthemevenknowsthatI'mjustgoingtokissyou!"

"Thosegirlsinthatwindowovertheredo,"saidJill."Theyarewatchinguslikehawks."

"Let'em!"saidWallybriefly.

THEEND

*****

WHATTHISSTORYISABOUT

Jillhadmoney,JillwasengagedtobemarriedtoSirDerekUnderhill.SuddenlyJillbecomespenniless,andsheisnolongerengaged.Withasmile,inwhichthereisjustatingeofrecklessness,sherefusestobebeatenandturnstofacetheworld.InsteadshewenttoNewYork



andbecameamemberofthechorusof"TheRoseofAmerica,"andMr.Wodehouseisenabledtoliftthecurtainofthemusicalcomedyworld.

Thereislaughteranddramain_JilltheReckless_,andtheactionneverflagsfromthemomentthatFreddieRookeconfessesthathehashadahecticnight,downtothepointwhereWallysaysbriefly"Let'em,"whichispage313.

*****

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