Child Sex Abuse

Jimmy Hinton, M.Div

Goals● Define the problem and scope of sexual abuse● Learn how to profile offenders and why this is

not a reliable method for prevention● Understand why victims rarely tell someone

about their abuse

Defining the Problem● On Average—Pedophiles abuse a minimum of

260 victims each (United Youth Security, xi)● Gene Abel's study of 232 men (Salter 11)

● 38,000 incidents ● 17,000 total victims (73 victims each)

● Dr. Diana Russell's study of adult women● 28% of the women were molested before 14● 38% if 14-17 year olds were included● Less than 5% reported the incidents

Defining the Problem● Each year we spend 103.8 billion dollars on

aftermath of child abuse (Total Estimated Cost of Child Abuse and Neglect in the United States, 2007, at www.preventchildabuse.org)

● “In 1999, there were 3.244 million children reported as abused and neglected. Most of these cases will never be investigated” (Victor Vieth, Unto the Third Generation, 9)

● “We are in competition with child abusers for the futures of a sea of children. . . If we fail to say as a society that beating, burning, binding, raping and murdering children is worthy of consequences then we forfeit the right to call ourselves civilized” (Ibid., 39, 29)

Defining the Problem● True statistics are impossible to find

● We only know statistics for what is reported; we can only guess on what is not reported

● PA Definition of Child Sexual Abuse– Child Sexual Abuse is any contact or interaction

between a person who is a minor or who is legally incompetent, and an adult, when the child is being used for the sexual stimulation of the adult person or of a third party. The behavior may or may not involve touching. Sexual behavior between a child and an adult is always considered to be forced, whether or not consented to by the child. Currently, in the state of Pennsylvania, anyone younger than 18 years of age is considered to be a child.

Defining the Problem● “On the whole, mainstream theories about child

molesting raise as many questions as they seem to resolve. Most important, there is no consistent understanding as to what the theories are supposed to be explaining or what kind of act is being perpetrated. We still do not know whether sex crimes against children are crimes of physical violence, crimes of sex, or both” (Pryor, 7).

● We tend to avoid that which we do not know. Churches, especially, have the tendency to avoid gray or uncomfortable areas.

Defining the Problem● Under-trained professionals and public

● Anna Salter--“I had one lecture on the victims of child abuse, but not a single lecture anywhere on offenders. Ironically, many of the lectures were on maladies so rare I've yet to see them in twenty years of practice” (Salter, 2)

● Law enforcement● School Teachers● Attorneys (Joe Amendola) ● Judges● Seminaries--Many pedophiles are active members

of a church

Defining the Problem● Public

– Most people don't want to know● If we don't know about it must not

happen?● Silence further guarantees permission

granted to offenders● Precisely why religious organizations are

targeted● Misconceptions

● Predators mostly hang out in chat rooms● Molesters are poor, abuse drugs, and lurk in the

bushes

Defining the Problem● They choose random victims

– 75-95% of offenders are known by and may be related to the victims (Hammel-Zabin, xi)

● Molesters are easy to pick out of a crowd– The most successful offenders are the most

respected offenders and include:– Doctors– Lawyers– Ministers– Soccer coaches– Camp counselors and directors

Defining the Problem– Police officers– Judges – Daycare workers– Store clerks– Engineers– Counselors– Teachers– Missionaries– Nurses– . . . Molesters can be anybody!

● Molesters are all men● Only girls are abused

Defining the Problem● The Reality:

● Successful molesters gain the trust of everyone around them and use that trust to offend

– Groomers vs Grabbers● Lying is their profession and is what they do

best● Control is their drug of choice ● Victims, as well as offenders remember the

abuse though perceptions are completely different

Defining the Problem● “Secrecy is the crux of sexual abuse. Without it,

there could be no abuse” (Hammel-Zabin, 87)● Alan: “I learned what may well have been the

single most important lesson in becoming a manipulative predator: I learned to listen.” (Ibid., 118)

● Routine activities theory—where unguarded access to victims increases, so does the rate of crime

● Molesters' determination should never be underestimated. . . EVER!

● The “iceberg” (van Dam)

Defining the Problem● High Risk Havens

● Churches– Naivety of Christians--“I considered church

people easy to fool...they have a trust that comes from being Christians...They tend to be better folks all around. And they seem to want to believe in the good that exists in all people.” (Salter, 29)

● Schools● Daycares● Camps

Defining the Problem● Social networks● Airports● Congress● Overseas Missions

– Facebook Quote: “Eres tan sexy!. . .Usted debe saber que hacer que mi polla dura!”

● Anywhere there is access to children● Anywhere an older person can get a younger

person alone

Profiling Molesters● The great paradox:● “Their [molesters] strategies are such cliches, it would seem

they had all graduated from the same crime school, where they learned how to successfully sexually abuse children with the blessing and support of the very adults and organizations responsible for protecting children” (van Dam, 8)

● “There has been no documentation of a typical “offender personality.” Rather, these men were characterized by their diversity: An offender could as well have been a professor as a pauper, a minister as an atheist, a teetotaler as an alcoholic, a teenager as a septuagenarian. . .In retrospect, these patients did not seem to share any definable demographic or personality traits to render them distinctive” (Maletzky, 16-17)

Profiling Molesters● Eager to be around children● Eager to “educate” children● Making (unwanted) opportunities to be alone with

children● Narcissism ● Spending lots of time in or making frequent trips to the

bathroom● Keeps secrets (even small ones) or tells minor lies● Manipulates you into doing something by making you feel

sorry for them

Profiling Offenders● Offering presents or unwanted rewards (others crossing

your parental boundaries)● Singling out children with broken homes or

underprivileged children● People who insist on unwanted help or babysitting● Inappropriate conversation about children● Playing games with children that are too immature for the

adult or seem inappropriate ● Taking interest in a certain child/ren then suddenly

focusing on a new child● Abruptly shifting conversation to children

Profiling Offenders● Too helpful● Too private● Too attentive to children● Too touchy with children● Too involved with children● Too involved with image management● Too one-sided in relationships (always giving, never taking)● Too opportunistic● Too superficial● Too prone to violate boundaries of personal space and privacy

Profiling Offenders● Too aggressive when confronted● Too quick to drop friendships when children

grow older● Too likely to disappear when contact with

children is denied● Altogether too charming● Too good to be true

Profiling Molesters● Why profiling doesn't work well

● Molesters groom adults as well as children● We want to believe the best about people

– In the words of a child rapist--“They want to, there's something inside of people that makes them want to believe the best in things and the best in others. Because the alternative is not very nice.” (Salter, 29)

● Subtleties in behavior but no hardcore evidence, making it impossible to investigate

● Victims simply do not tell

Profiling Molesters● Molesters are professional liars

– “You don't get this, Anna, do you?. . .You think that when I'm asked, 'Did I do it?' that's when I lie. But I've been lying every day for the past twenty-five years.” (Salter 42)

● Killing with kindness/grooming adults● Groomers are respected and involved in their

communities, making detection near impossible● Incidents of suspicion are easily explained away

because they are “isolated”● Creating diversions (e.g. “love for kids”)

Why Children Don't Tell: Shhh● Threats (many of the following reasons from United

Youth Security, 17-36)● “The only threat I ever placed on her was that if

this was ever to be found out that a divorce was going to occur from it...I'd say, 'For God's sake, don't tell your mom because we're going to end up in a divorce.' Which I think I was using because mentally I knew it probably was one of the scariest things to her, because she'd been through it once before.” (Pryor, 198)

● Threat that others will be molested if victim tells● Threat of offender committing suicide

Why Children Don't Tell: Shhh● Guilt

● Victims framed by molesters as being the initiators of sexual contact

● Sexual patterns continue into adulthood, fueled by guilt: 66%-90% of women in sex industry were sexually abused as children www.iamatreasure.com/about-us/statistics/#_edn13

● Fear they won't be believed● Victims are sought who have a history of

dishonesty or unreliability (strong imaginations)

Why Children Don't Tell: Shhh● Shame

● Victims who are stimulated and experience orgasm are ashamed that they experienced pleasure

● Feel their body has betrayed them● Too difficult to remember trauma

● PTSD ● Body remembrance ● Depression

Why Children Don't Tell: Shhh● Sexual acts the mind can't comprehend and

vocabulary cannot express what was done● Bribery (greed)● Offender promises it will never happen again● Unaware abuse occurred● Victim forgives the pedophile● Fear of losing a friend● Denial● Repression

Why Children Don't Tell: Shhh● Embarrassment● Fear nobody will do anything about abuse● Fear the pedophile will escape on legal

technicality● Fear of not being believed and consequences● Fear of losing home, family, or friends● Fear of rejection and retaliation ● Blackmail

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Child Sex Abuse

Jimmy Hinton, M.Div

Goals● Understand potential of pedophiles● Recognize signs of abuse ● How to create safe paces for children and

victims of abuse● Know mandated reporting laws and your

responsibility to report

Keeping our children & churches safe

Above all, children need to not only feel protected, but need to feel safe in

telling others if abuse has indeed occurred

Into the Mind of a Pedophile: Child Pornography

● “When you think about it, just how many lola lovers do we have here, maybe? 10,000 15,000 visit this board, what about the other boards, and what of the others that can not find this and the other boards? I have seen some of the log files from some of the net's search engines, and the top search is childporn and all the Lola lovers that don't have a computer, there must be millions out there some where ;)” (Jenkins, Beyond Tolerance, 73).

● Facebook—playground for pedophiles● http://facebookwatcher.blogspot.com/search/label/pedophilia

Into the Mind of a Pedophile: Child Pornography

● Common Facebook quotes/groups among pedophiles

● PTHC● Old enough to pee, old enough for me● Preteen lesbians● Submissive daughters● Lolita● Horny preteens● Young sexy girls● Watching kidz at the pool

Into the Mind of a Pedophile: Child Pornography

● We have not even scratched the surface● Twitter● Youtube● Chat boards● Pornographic websites● Underage brothels● Street trafficking. . . ● There literally is unlimited, free, explicit access

to child pornography for all internet users within a few short clicks of the mouse

What Can We Do to Protect our Young?

● Recognize Signs of Abuse● Anything behavior that is unusual or

unexplained (United Youth, 43-74; Salter xiv)● Difficulty trusting others● Withdrawal● Isolation● Never wanting to be touched● Appearing numb or dazed● Hurting self

What Can We Do to Protect our Young?

● Memory loss● Dependent behavior● Avoiding a certain person● Stomach pains/digestive problems● Difficulty walking or sitting● Torn, stained, or bloody underwear● Blood in urine or stool● Nightmares/talking in sleep● Bedwetting or wetting clothes in general

What Can We Do to Protect our Young?

● Sexual knowledge unusual for person's age ● Seductive/promiscuous behavior● Change in dress habits● “Knowing looks”● Time and activities unaccounted for● Low self-esteem● Sadness● Crying● Depression

What Can We Do to Protect our Young?

● Stop molesters before abuse happens● Deflection is the best method● Teach children proper anatomical names for body

parts● Teach them to say no● Know how molesters think and what they are

capable of● Create clear policies that protect children and

make it difficult for abusers to offend● Create a trusted/stable environment where

children know their voices matter and they can report abuse

What Can We Do to Protect Our Young?

● Make your place safe for victims of abuse, not for abusers

● Be prepared and willing to answer tough questions● Be sensitive to young people who tell you that an adult

makes them uncomfortable● Adhere to a biblical model of forgiveness—forgiveness

does not mean trust or even placing a welcome mat on the front door

● Communicate that protection of children is a top priority

● Comply with mandated reporting laws

Mandated Reporting: How to Protect Our Children

● PA code 42.42(b) “Staff members of public or private agencies, institutions, and facilities: Licensees who are staff members of a medical or other public or private institution, school, facility or agency, and who, in the course of their employment, occupation or practice of their profession, come into contact with children shall immediately notify the person in charge of the institution, school facility or agency or the designated agent of the person in charge when they have reasonable cause to

Mandated Reporting: How to Protect Our Children

● suspect on the basis of their professional or other training experience, that a child coming before them in their professional or official capacity is a victim of child abuse. Upon notification by the licensee, the person in charge or the designated agent shall assume the responsibility and have the legal obligation to report or cause a report to be made in accordance with subsections (a), (c), and (d).”

Mandated Reporting: How to Protect Our Children

● Designated Agents: ● Don't expect victims to report abuse● They need a voice to speak on their behalf,

and the church needs to be that voice● Come up with a coordination & action plan

among owners/senior staff that promotes communication while protecting confidentiality of victims

● Know the signs of abuse and ways to profile molesters

● Be prepared to act

Mandated Reporting: How to Protect Our Children

● Establish rules of accountability ● Be vigilant with parisioners, volunteers, and

staff● Be available to listen!

– Victims don't report to people they don't trust● Where to report

● ChildLine Abuse Registry (for abuse that occurs in Pennsylvania) 1-800-932-0313

● Speak to professionals before confronting alleged victims about abuse unless you are trained to do so

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