karen purves communicate with strength · 9/6/2019 17 ‘forgetting curves’’ “ a great deal...

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On a cold phone call, what is an example of a ? You ask that is not yielding the info you hoped for?

1. What do you dislike about current product you are using? 2. Do you have any idea what your HAPI rate is?3. What kind of initiatives are you working on in 2019?4. Can I come in and meet with you to discuss our products.5. With regards to Wound Care and/or Safe Patient Handling, do

you have any needs that are not being properly met at this time (and that can mean monetary, educational, outcome, etc needs)?

6. how are your results?7. Are you using any safe patient handing products for your patients

and protection for the nursing team?8. Current HAPI rates and source of HAPIs9. When we ask about HAPI rates 10. How is your prevalence?

Customer Service Training – Topics

• Secret Shop

• Customer Service – treat each other as you would a customer

• To work effectively as a team you all need each other

• Empathy

• Specific language choices that can be used to optimize customer service and empathy with one another and patients – communication to show appreciation

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Customer Service Training – who cares?

• Relevant for each person here, in different ways

• Get everyone on the same page

• Be different, fun and rewarding

• Explore the value of customer service and “team playing” to you, personally, as well as the practice

• Honest look at what isn’t working, to find immediately applicable solutions (inter‐ and intra‐team fighting, “my boss doesn’t appreciate me!” –yes we can still have fun while doing this!)

Customer Service Training – what to expect/involvement

• Practice with each other

• Small group exercises – staff participation and involvement

• Feedback to group

• Voting by applause

• Leave with customized implementation plan

• $200 in CASH PRIZES given throughout day

Top 10 best ‐ ABCD ‐ #10

• Moment: “Sure!”

• Ins: “I can certainly try to get that info”

• Price: clear for each of 3

• Paperwork: on web and said name of site

• Close: did not fall for – “We’re here M‐F…”

• “Are you closed on the weekends?”

• “We are”

• Winner:

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• Ins: “We verify insurance before you come”

• Cash: offer add’l info: “You can apply for 6 month credit…affiliated…”

• Close: “We’re open…” Also offer: “Last appt. is one hour before” Also offer: “Chippewa accepts later appts (and provided phone number) Also offer: “I have their schedule…”

• Closing: “Sounds great!”

• Winner:

Top 10 best ‐ ABCD ‐ #8• Call and get recording – then press 1 and get a SECOND recording…

• Moment: “Absolutely!” – nice, perky

• Ins: “It’s best if I call”


• Paperwork: “can fill out online or can email to me”

• Close: did not fall for – “We have a couple different schedules…” “We’re here…” “Last appt…”

• Closing: “Awesome, sounds great!”

• Winner: (would have been higher except recording…)


• Price: clear for all 3 – Also she offered, “It’s $20 off if you order for a year, or some are 50% off”

• Dialate?: “That is always your choice” Also added “We have another choice $39.78 optos”

• Paperwork: “Can do online or in office”

• Winner:

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Top 10 best ‐ ABCD ‐ #6• Clear, succinct

• Ins: “We need the # id number and then we can look it up in the system”

• Price: clear for each of 3, and added 20% off complete pair of glasses and mentioned “basic lenses start at $110”

• Paperwork: “sure. Go to website (said website name) or I can email to you”

• Close: “We’re here…” “Appts. until…”

• Closing: “That sounds like a plan”

• Winner:

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(Sleeping baby Gentoo penguin [I promise], Sea Lion Island, Falkland Islands, Jan. 2012

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Choose to focus

Bald eagle at sunrise, Homer, Alaska

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Perceive me as engaging

Kangaroos, outside Melbourne, Australia

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Side‐striped Jackal, Botswana

Sea Otter, Cordova, Alaska

Speak

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Scarlet macaw, Costa Rica

This program is about

how to communicate

more effectively

Purpose

• Establish a connection.

• Get what you want.

• Build relationships.

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How do we get those results?

Understanding Interpersonal Neurobiology and affective

neuroscience

Neural pathway

“Plasticity”

• The brain remakes and revises itself all the time – it is truly “plastic”. You can make fundamental changes in how your brain operates

• Aimee Lee Ball “Women and the Negativity Factor”

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We can rewire the circuitry of our brains –

today!

Building Trust – getting them to say YES!

“Trust is a pragmatic,…actionable asset

that you can create”

From: “The Speed of Trust” by

Who’s here

•Buyers

•Other?

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Communicating with…

• Staff/team

• Members/ Potential Members

• Suppliers

• Board Members

• Sponsors/Potential Sponsors

• Each other

• Other?

Communicating with…

•Vendors*•People you manage

• Each other•Other?

Communicate with/about:

• Current clients

• New clients

• Delivery dates

• Damaged orders

• Minimum orders

• Sizing

• Other?

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Examples of communication with others you want to be

more effective?

Goals

• Feel inspired

• Tips/tools to implement immediately

• Useful

• New and exciting information

• Feel enabled

• Feel empowered

• Discuss issues regarding hiring and retention (staff issues), compliance issues (clients), successful businesses, and empathy

Focus?

• Communicate with staff?

• Or

• Communicate with clients?

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How specifically to build trust?

1. Small actions can make a big difference

2. Make it specific to that individual (one size does not fit all)

3. “withdrawals” are typically much larger than “deposits” (1 error can take 10 “atta boy’s to make up for)

100,500

is the number of words an average person reads or hears every day

The amount we read has tripled from 1980‐2008

From: Real Simple, August 2010, p. 146

Neural PlasticityCHECK THIS SLIDE CORRECT/WRONG

• Electrical impulses travel through the brain by passing from one neuron, a brain cell, to another.

• The neural route they follow can change and become deeper. Like favoring a path – keep going down it and it becomes a rut.

• Information is shipped around on these “highways”. The brain revises itself

• In a Functional MRI can watch the blood flow

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• Visualize the groove a ski makes in fresh snow, OR

• Visualize a new carpet and then the areas you walk in the most

…that’s the path the brain is used to following – you want to “pull it” in a new direction which only repetition will do

Our actions have a concrete, biological impact on the brain.

“The emotional region of the brain that is activated when

we experience rejection is, in fact, the same region that

registers emotional responses to physical pain.

From: “Loneliness” by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick

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‘Forgetting curves’’

“ a great deal of memory loss occurs in the first hour or two after initial exposure. He

(Ebbinghaus) demonstrated that this loss could be lessened by deliberate repetitions. “

One way to lessen the memory loss: “stimulate more of the senses.”

From “Brain Rules” by John Medina

PSE ‐ Pictorial Superiority Effect

If information is presented orally,people remember about 10%, tested 72 hours after exposure. That figure goes up to 65% if you add a picture.”


Memory

The more neural “tracks” a message activates throughout the brain – through words, images, music, all of which activate different neural circuits – the more evocative and memorable it is likely to be. The richer, more sensory based the neural tracks, the more likely they are to create and activate emotional associations. Site visit. Taste food. Show sample video. Play music. Fragrance of flowers.

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“The groups in the multisensoryenvironments always do better than the groups in the unisensory environments. They have more accurate recall.…It’s not just sight and sound. When touch is combined with visual information,

recognition learning leaps forward by almost 30% compared with touch alone.”


Psychologist Robert Sternberg: “practical intelligence ‐ knowing what to say to whom, knowing when to say

it, and knowing how to say it for maximum effect.”

Today: Increase your practical intelligence

From “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell

Parallel – ME to YOU……..YOU to OTHERS

1. “Infect you” – emotionally contagious, change you in some small yet critical respect

2. Message has “stickiness” – makes an impact and compels you to action

3. Subtle but significant change in presentation of an idea; little changes, big effects

4. Make the message practical & personal and it will become memorable

“The Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell

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“No matter how large or small, easy or difficult, each choice that we make, individually or collectively, alters the direction of our lives.”

(From "The Right Questions" by Debbie Ford)

Does your choice matter?

How many of you have ever watched an American Idol episode?

American Idol 5/17/06 finals percentages of votes:

• 33.06%

• 33.26%

• 33.68%

every word/action/choice matters!

Skipping slides…

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Scrabble, 1987

Me in 1983 Honda Civic – first car

The Second City

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Say the same things in a different way

Uh oh…

The Electrolux Vacuum Cleaner co., a “corporation in Finland trying to break into the North American market….had plenty of English

speakers on staff, but no Americans. Their lead marketing slogan? “If it sucks, it must be an Electrolux.”


Clear communication::

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At times, humor can work:

Or…

My “green” dry cleaners+

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In our communication, we want people to feel…

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how

you made them feel.”

‐ Maya Angelou

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“At Harvard University, psychologists found that the attitude that students

formed toward new teachers in the first two seconds of class remained the same throughout the course.”

From “Every Word Has Power” by Yvonne Oswald

“…their frequency of success is dazzling. The secret of their effectiveness lies in the way they structure their requests….To do this may take no

more than one correctly chosen word that engages a strong psychological principle and sets an automatic behavior tape rolling within

us.”

From: “Weapons of Influence” by Robert Cialdini, PhD

“Ask Disneyworld workers: ‘What time does the park close?’ They’re supposed to reply “The park is open until 8pm.’”

• From “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch

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What not to say

Cat food:

“Are you open until 5?”

What not to say

• Call Target to pickup prescriptions at 8:48pm to confirm I can pickup until 9:00pm, closing time

• “Our system shuts down in 10 minutes”

Square root watch – “say it differently”

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“Springboard stories”

“A springboard story helps us problem‐solve for ourselves. A springboard story is an exercise in mass customization – each audience member uses the story as a springboard to slightly different destinations.”

From: “Made to Stick”

“You’re never completely ready; it just becomes

your turn.”

- Ty Murray, Rodeo Athlete, quoted on “Dancing with the Stars” 3/10/09

When you don’t know what to do or say…

When Oprah didn’t know how to interview people, she thought “What would Barbara Walters do? WWBD?” If you think of someone you respect or admire, then think what would _______ do?

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Videotape of an accident• “How fast were the cars going when they

smashed into each other?” 41 mph ave.

• “How fast were the cars going when they

contacted each other? 32 mph, on ave.

• No broken glass: 3x as many people in “smashed” group than in “contacted” group reported seeing nonexistent broken glass.

“The Time Paradox” by Philip Zimbardo & John Boyd

1

Can’t-example

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“According to a survey by Amdocs, more than 80% of consumers would rather visit the dentist or sit in heavy traffic than deal with

an unhelpful telephone representative.”

From “When Customers Talk” by T. Scott Gross

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Two weeks/5 days doctor

“Can’t argue with the doctor”

“Can’t waive the office visit charge”

In a zoo in California, a tiger gave birth to triplet cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in pregnancy, the cubs died shortly after birth. Vets felt the tigress was in a depression. Perhaps if the tigress could surrogate other cubs, she would improve. After checking w/zoos nationwide, there were no tiger cubs the right age. Vets tried something never done in a zoo: they found orphans pigs, wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops?

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Can

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Extra tip…

No

Replace with…

“Actually,…”

What is the definition of

team?

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Team – noun:

•Group

•Company

Team – verb:

•Collaborate

•Unite

•Cooperate

•Ally

You’re always part of a team with LMS. It’s a matter of how well the team is functioning.

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2

I don’t have the time

Priorities

When someone contacts you, what are his/her top three

priorities?

Top two priorities

• Time

•Money

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Third priority

Home/amenities/issue etc.

1890 French dressing, tomato + oil + spices

Buy time

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Scrabble 1987

Great Aunt Evelyn, me, Great Grandpa

You’re important and…

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Further examples

• Yes, I see what you are asking. I have a 2:00 deadline. I can talk with you after that.

• I'd like to help. 5 minutes is all I have. Will that help?

• This would require my full attention. I don't have it to give right now. I believe you can handle it yourself.

Helping clients feel important no/little cost

• Ask opinion

• Treat to special hours

• Offer exclusive services

• Offer free upgrades

• Offer free service for hundredth or thousandth client


3

Sorry!-example

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The $100,000 ceramic salt and pepper shaker

“The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch

6 degrees of separation…Kevin Bacon

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yelp

“How many instances of poor service does it take for you to change service providers?”

One 16.9%

Two 40.6%

Three 28.0%

Four 14.3%


A version of “features vs. benefits”

It’s less about YOU and more about THEM; less of what you SAID than

what they HEARD

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I’m sorry for…

Amelia

4

It’s hard

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Camp alone age: 31

Burn fingers

Raccoon steals food

Leaves fake bologna

Call mom

Door County Wisconsin Camping Fun!

“Perfect Match” on ESPN, 1994

Challenging

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5

Problem-example

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Bighorn sheep, Kananaskis Country, Edmonton, Alberta

On the runway in Golfito, Costa Rica

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“Cerro de la Muerte is the highest point in the Costa Rican section of the Inter‐American Highway. Its name means ‘Mountain of

Death’…”

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerro_de_la_Muerte

Lodge, Costa Rica, near the Corcovado National Forest

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Opportunity

Example

There is an opportunity here for you to…(get what you want)

Humor helps(Ladies restroom, Melbourne, Australia, June 2011)

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6

I have to, I need to

#1 killer of men in US?

#1 killer of women in US?

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Actual pressure on carotid arteries

Me and Gram, 7‐15‐08

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Angiogram, my grandma, 7‐9‐08

She was passionate about life and committed to developing and sharing practical tools that inspire us to “make our lives matter!”

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1979, Hawks Softball team

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Dad

Choose, want, get, glad, verb

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I “have to call” or “I need to call”:

dial and deal with it

Practice with person to your right or left

Sampson

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• Moment: “Absolutely!”

• Ins: “We would call on coverage”


• Paperwork: “Absolutely, can do paperwork online (gave website and then said two things to click ‘patient’ and ‘patient forms’ “

• Close: “We’re open…last exam…”

• Winner:


• Ins: “We can look it up” Not once, but twice: “Let me just check for you” Plus add’l info: “I can give you the 800 number…”


• Dialation: “is included”

• Closing: “Sounds great Elizabeth!” – good to use name

• Winner:


• Ins: “I do know we carry some of them”• Price: All throughout, full answers to my questions: “What is cash pay price?” “If you are paying cash…”

• Dialation: “How will I know if I will be dialated?” “When you come in to see the doctor…”

• Paperwork: “The paperwork is on the website. Do you have a pen and pencil?” Gives me a moment…

• Close: did not fall for • Closing: “You have a fantastic day!”• Winner:

Terifi;

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• Ins: She listened to what I was saying – losing my card – laughing “I can check online” Added info: “I can give you a number to call…” “unless you are a federal employee…didn’t want to steer you wrong” YES!

• Price: “x price, includes… y price includes…”

• Paperwork: “No, we’ll take care of that”

• Close: did not fall for

• Closing: “Thanks for your call Elizabeth!” 2 bonus points!

• Winner:

#1 Best of 32 offices:• Moment: “Sure do!”

• Ins: “I can look it up.” “I have capabilities…” also “We’d be happy…” “We are a provider of BC/BS”

• Dialation: offered “We use reversal drops” and “We give sunglasses before you leave” what? Awesome!

• Paperwork: “one sheet.” Added: “helpful to bring a list of medications” (no surprises – you never said!) Offer: “only 5 minutes to fill out” great

• Close: did not fall for – “We’re here M‐F…”

• Closing: “Thank you so much for calling” Genuine

• Winner:

Top 10 best ‐ ABCD ‐ #1 of 32

• Ins: She listened to what I was saying – losing my card – laughing “I can check online” Added info: “I can give you a number to call…” “unless you are a federal employee…didn’t want to steer you wrong” YES!

• Price: “x price, includes… y price includes…”

• Paperwork: “No, we’ll take care of that”

• Close: did not fall for

• Closing: “Thanks for your call Elizabeth!” 2 bonus points!

• Winner:

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7

“I don’t know!”

‐example

Dear Abby 5/21/09

“I once had to ask a bank teller here in Florida how much it would cost to wire money from my account to a

bank in Minnesota. She said, “Minnesota? Is that in the United

States?”

Interesting inquiry

“Does one need a travel permit or visa to visit

Minnesota?”

‐ The Associated Press

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1 of 4 options

Dr. Phil

Dog factor

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2 of 4 options

5 seconds of silence

“Quicksilver” 1994 ‐ bible

Investor w/OT gave away nearly twice the amount of money – to a stranger

“Oxytocin Increases Generosity in Humans”, Paul Zak, et al., Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, CGU, Claremont, CA

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Japan:

“Talkativeness is the mouth’s fart.”

Japan – 8.5 seconds

USA - .8 seconds

5 times more likely

3 of 4 options

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I’ll find out

4 of 4 options

8

She/He/You made me angry

Juvenile gorillas fighting, Rwanda Sept. 2010

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• How come when we know better we don’t necessarily do better?

• Feeling is faster than thought. We evaluate things emotionally; we think about it afterwards.

Your choice:

• Hotel valet meltdown story

OR

• Omaha lost luggage story

Foxwoods Resort CasinoMashantucket, Connecticut(World’s Largest Casino)

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Oops

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“Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.”

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I felt angry when

“Just Like Me”

9

Try‐example

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“Western communication has what linguists call a ‘transmitter orientation’ – it is considered the responsibility of the speaker to communicate ideas

clearly & unambiguously….if there is confusion, it is the fault of the

speaker.”

From “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell

My attempt at chocolate chip cookies

Try ExercisePerson A and B

Listen closely. Four different sections. each about 10 seconds.

1) person B put your index and thumb together. Try to keep your fingers together. person A: pull person B’s fingers apart (who won ‐ write it down ‐usually A)

2) person B. put your index finger and thumb together. Keep them together. Person A: try to get person b’s fingers apart. (who won ‐ write it down ‐usually person B)

3) person A put your index and thumb together. Try to keep your fingers together. person B: pull person A’s fingers apart (who won ‐ write it down ‐usually B)

2) person A. put your index finger and thumb together. Keep them together. Person B: try to get person A’s fingers apart. (who won ‐ write it down ‐usually person A)

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• Anticipation machine; detects patterns

• When our minds lock onto something as being absolute, it enters our memory stores in a very different form from the way it would were we to be tentative

• Speaking tentatively literally evokes the active engagement of another person’s mind

• Help prevent “’premature hardening of the categories’”

From: The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well‐Being by Daniel J. Siegel

Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

Do or do not do

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10

But

Oreos

Separate

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Examples

• A, B, and C work well. Some suggestions I have for D, E and F are...

• One way to strengthen A is…Have you considered _____ for B? C could be improved by…

Eat ¼ cup raisins in one handful

11

Why-example

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The amygdale is a phylogenetically primitive area of the brain, meaning it hasn’t changed much in the course of

evolution. It looks pretty much the same in humans as it does in mice.

• “Why Gender Matters” by Leonard Sax

African elephant, Botswana

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What, How

Doctors – feeling unappreciated

1. Managing staff/HR/ making the office a good environment for EVERYBODY to work

2. Finish completing all charting.

3. Administrative tasks

4. Trying to see lots of people in a day while staying on time and making it appear that you have all the time in the world for every patient.

Optical Team – feeling unappreciated

1. Juggling the workload of multiple departments.

2. Insurance

3. Returns/returning glasses for warranties

4. Dropping everything to help others

5. Sales

6. Answering telephones/backing up other depts.

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Technician Team – feeling unappreciated

1. Screening patients in the amount of time that we are given/Keeping doctors on time with schedule

2. Balancing inventory needed to run the office vs the cost of product sitting on shelf.

3. Other staff expectations

4. Maintaining patient flow

Admin team – feeling unappreciated

• Receiving vision plan insurance payments.

• Process/send doctor/diabetic letters etc...

• Scheduling patients ‐ (for age/complexity balance)

• Sending in a corrected/replacement claim and getting it to process correctly.

• Working directly with the doctors and sharing the employees concerns.

• Being fair to all employees when there are many different personalities

Admin team – feeling unappreciated

• Process/send doctor/pet letters etc...

• Scheduling patients

• Working directly with the doctors and sharing the employees concerns.

• Being fair to all employees when there are many different personalities

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Current client/member w/problem• What people are usually saying when they complain

is “I really want to remain your customer, and I will, if you just fix…..”

• Most of the time customers will ask for less than you would have settled for after negotiation.

• “I’m sorry for X. What can we do to make things right?”

• Customers who have never had a reason to complain are not as loyal as customers who have had a complaint that was successfully resolved.”


“The ‘how‘ question is the question of the 21st

century.”

‐Bill Clinton, Las Vegas 2/22/10

If you only had one sentence, what would it be?

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Specific Examples

• What do you want?

• What can I do to make this meeting successful for you?

• How do you best receive information?

• What matters to you?

• To be as efficient as possible, may I ask what you already know about x?

• What do you want to make sure you get out of this meeting?

• What matters to you?

Examples• What about…• What do you…?• What got you…?• What do you mean by…?• What can I do for you?• In what ways…?• What ideas do you have about…?• What do you think about…?• Under what circumstance do you…?• What needs to be done at this point?• Help me to understand how you reached the

conclusion.• How would you…

Using current clients to get marketing ideas and up‐selling ideas

1. “How did you decide to choose x?”

2. “What other x do you like?”

3. “What do you like about them?”

4. “What could we do to make this an even better experience?”


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Potential client/member – key questions

1. Where do you x most often?

2. Where did you previously x?

3. What do you already know about us?

4. What caused you to eliminate us as a possibility?

5. What would motivate you to x with us?

6. How do you currently handle x?

7. What do you want to know about us?


Loss aversion – Frame in terms of LOSSES

Losing something makes you twice as miserable as gaining the same thing makes you happy.”

• Instead of take away free wifi, add surcharge for “facility fee”

• Instead of take away insurance, have employee pay higher percentage

• Instead of take away free checked bags, add a checked baggage fee

• Breast self exams – higher compliance if told you LOSE several health benefits if you DON’T take 5 mins

From “Humans and Econs”

When the potential loss of a freedom is threatened, we desire the freedom

significantly more.

• YES: “without purchasing our (new product, upgrade, etc.) you’ll lose access to (old system, perks, etc.)

• YES: “if you do not do x, you’ll lose $350 per year

• YES: Home owners more inspired to buy when told how much money they could LOSE if they DIDN’T buy insulation

• NO: “if you do x you’ll save $350 per year”

“Scarcity principle”‐‐Opportunities seem more valuable when their availability is limited

• Limited time offer

• Only 2 left at this price

• “If you buy two, you save…”

• “You may want to think about buying more than one as production is backed up…”

• “This is only one of x left in stock…”

• “I’ll be in your area only one day next week…”

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When possible, ask small questions -bypass the amygdala and reduce fear. Examples? By asking small questions it keeps the fight or flight response in off position, reducing defensiveness. Look for ways to get small yes’s in a non-threatening manner (From "The Kaizen Way" by Robert Maurer)

More…

• In x such as these you’ve been involved with before, what were the best parts?

• What has been done that did not work well?

• Is there an area where you can see to cut costs?

• If only one thing could be changed or made even better, what would that be?

• Answer the HOW COME before the THEREFORE

• You aren’t able to establish your value without this

• Example –

• NO: “we’re great because…”

• YES :“because x, we’re great”

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Quicksilver ‐ 1994

• “Thank you for discovering the Renaissance Raleigh North Hills, this is Sean how may I assist you?”

• Discovering vs. calling – a step up level of engagement he is giving caller

• Assist vs. help – “Help” infers you need help; “assist” infers partnering

10‐1‐12

If you want to know something, ASK

A young boy walks into a drugstore and asks to use the phone. He dialed a number and then said “Hello, Dr. Anderson? Do you want to hire a boy to cut the grass and run errands for you?” “Oh, you already have someone who does that? Are you completely satisfied with his work? Ok then. Goodbye.” As the boy thanked the phramacist, the pharmacist said, “Just a minute, son. If you are looking for work I could use a boy like you.” “Thank you, sir, but I have a job.” “But didn’t I just hear you trying to get a job with Dr. Anderson?” “No, sir. I’m the boy who is working for Dr. Anderson. I was just checking up on myself.”

“The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman

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“Even better”

7 word or less questions; highest comprehension

“Would you like some company?”

Neil ‐ concert

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1. < 7 words


1. < 7 words

2. Most people think “yes”


1. < 7 words

2. Likely “yes” answer

3. Small ? vs. big ?

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Examples

• What concerns do you have?

• …What would it take to get you to a 10?

Fast Wax

Fast Wax

Jerry –

“Would you like a free demonstration?”

What was my interest level in this product?

What did I do after meeting him?

What is awesome about this?

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How to negotiate a lower price in 6 words:

“Is that the best you can do?”

then…

STOP TALKING – allow an awkward pause/silence if need be; it can provoke a better offer

Newspaper subscription –negotiations on things that don’t seem

negotiable

• Rate this year: $132.60 (46% increase)

• Rate I paid last year: $91

• Called 8/3/18: What specials do you have? (“None”)

• Called 8/5/18: What specials do you have? (“I can lower the price to $122.20”) Is that the best you can do? (“I can offer you $96.20”)

• I paid immediately

$ Tip• “Prices ending in “9” are more attractive to buyers.”

• i.e. a $139 room rate is more attractive than a $134 room rate; $139 will increase demand over $134 price

• “People apparently interpret a price ending in “9” as a sale price.”


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Disabled American Veterans

• Simple mail appeal for donations produces ~18% response rate

• Mail appeal for donations WITH unsolicited gift produces ~35% response rate – nearly double

People feel a stronger sense to return a favor rather than just do something nice in the first place –

“reciprocity rule”

From: “Influence” by Robert Cialdini

Reciprocity Rule

1. Start with $140 plan2. Drop to $35 plan – e.g. dental hygiene month

running special “normally x, this month y”

Results:1. Increase rate of sales AND

2. Increase level of satisfaction among those buying(e.g. Estimate : not 2 columns; 2 pieces of paper)

From: “Influence” by Robert Cialdini, PhD

Clothing retailer employee:

“What brings you in today?”

•I have a tumor/got fat? •I need a new asparagus recipe?

•To find clothes? 7 words or less and starts w/what;

what doesn’t work here?

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12

I have NO idea!

Police arrest naked burglary suspect

LONDON, England (AP) ‐‐ British police say they found a naked burglary suspect trapped in the chimney of a supermarket.

A spokesman for the police says he "has no idea"how the man got into the chimney.

Wed October 22, 2008 www.cnn.com/europe

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Rachel, Jerry, Lily & Claire

Would Anjana (chimpanzee) help look after 23‐day‐old twin brother white tiger cubs Mitra

and Shiva ?

By MARTIN PHILLIPS, Senior Features Writer, The Sun, Published: 11 Oct 2008

.

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•Best guess

•Usually

•Generally

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13

You’re always-example

Double yoked egg

Tree dropping roots, Costa Rica

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Usually, Often

14

Never

Airport “white courtesy phone” operator:

“You’ll never make your flight”

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Churchill, Manitoba, Canada 11/09

United States Postal Service:

“We NEVER lose ANYTHING.”

10/6/08

Some ticket stubs from seeing Sammy Hagar 1987‐2008

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Sammy Hagar, with autograph

Eli Manning, Superbowl MVP, with autograph

“With that said, I never thought the Patriots would lose. I thought they'd be tested, I thought the game would be great ... but lose???”

Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine, 'Free fallin' out into nothing’, Page 2, February 4, 2008

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It will be a challenge

15

I should, you should-example

• When our minds lock onto something as being

absolute, it enters our memory stores in a

very different form from the way it would were

we to be tentative

• Speaking tentatively literally evokes the active

engagement of another person’s mind

• Help prevent “’premature hardening of the

categories’”

From: The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well‐Being by Daniel J. Siegel

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Actual examplesDoctor: “That shouldn’t be” (rotator cuff/choulder)

“That shouldn’t be a problem to get you water.”

Cat had a diabetic reaction to an injection: “That shouldn’t happen from an injection.”

This is also a larger problem with millenials –the phrase “shouldn’t be problem” is regularly used interchangeably with “I don’t know”

people like options even if they don't take them

restaurant vs. refrigerator

Could

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Daphne

Talk in a convicted sense: “I recommend” or “we strongly suggest” or "my advice is that you” or “based on my experience”, this declarative method raises others’ estimation of you as you earn trust.

(From "Survival of the Savvy by Rick Brandon PhD and Marty Seldman PhD)

Instead of

“I know!”

change to

“You’re right!”

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A Top Goal for today:

EMPATHY

4 word formula to use

“How _________ for you.”

Or if 4 words is too much…

How ________________

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The words silent and listen have the same letters

15.5 Inadvertently giving commands:

• “Gimme a second…”

• “Give me a second…”

• “Hold on…”

• “Hang on…”

• “Be patient (SWA)…”

• Even for those people who get the first “hold” correct, watch out for additional holds on the same call: First time “One moment while I check” then when come back “Hang on a minute”

What can you say instead?

17

To be honest with you-example

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Positive consistent,

negative consistent

Before I close, reminder you’re welcome to fill out the purple “coach entry

forms” to be entered into the drawing

Organizing client found her $6,700

No testimonial

You can lead a horse to water…

Same with these tips – the choice is yours

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Me and Billy Artemenko, 1977

Billy Artemenko, 2008

Leaving Gram’s ~1977

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Say the same things in a different way

Church newsletter quotes:“A the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.”

“The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.”

“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.”

“Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.”

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Trial begins over circus’ treatment of elephants

The main training tool described by plaintiffs:

“Bullhook” used to “jab, prod and beat the elephants, resulting in puncture wounds, lacerations and infections.”

The main training tool described by defendants:

“Guide” used as an “extension of the handler’s arm to reach up to the animals.”

Las Vegas Review‐Journal 2/5/09 page 13A

How can you improve client’s experience of delays that won’t cost anything or demand more than few seconds ?

Staff came up w/following solutions:1. Receptionist explains reason for wait & offers approximate time

before doctor available2. Client offered alternatives of seeing another physician or rescheduling3. Tech apologizes to each patient before being assigned to room.4. Vet apologizes when walking into room5. Before leaving room, vet thanks client for choosing practice6. Receptionist offers second thank‐you as client walks out doorShortly after implementing these changes, client surveys showed

satisfaction rate doubled & number of clients leaving practice went down 60%. The average waiting time remained exactly same as before.

“The Kaizen Way” by Robert Maurer

Australia

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Who’s here?

‐ Veterinarians

‐ Techs

‐ Front Office

‐ Practice Manager

‐ Students

Who’s here?

• Company owners – small, med, large co.

• Managers

• Crew leaders

• Those with “proactive approaches to running their positions”

• Landscape Contractors – 50%

• Landscape Designers – 20%

• Lawn Care Operators – 30%

• Garden Centre and Nursery owners

Goals

• “Concrete ideas and/or skills you can apply”

• “results oriented” and “visual learners”

• “communicate more effectively with clients and employees”

• “communication tips to follow up with clients”

• “improve management skills”

• Help with “retaining employees”

• Leave feeling “inspired” and with “3 key pieces of info to apply”

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1

Thank you-example

Marlee Matlin thank you note story

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Note from Health clinic I visited

Bank statement envelope:

Memo field:

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Soap from hotel

It matters less what you said, than what the other

person heard

Trust

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Thank you for (TY4)

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Gratitude and relaxation

• Heartmath: “as you focus on sincere feelings of appreciation, your nervous system will naturally come into balance”

2

Impossible-example

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“Chicago’s Talbott Hotel is letting past guests pay their age on their birthday ‐

“The Olympian” 5/24/09

St. Thomas Virgin Islands celebrate the minting of the quarter – 25cent room rates ‐ Las Vegas Review Journal

Me and Kip Winger, lead singer of Winger

Autographs of all four band members of Winger

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Lost mattress when move

Haven’t Yet

3

You don’t understand-example

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Quicksilver 1994 ‐ flame

Give a client a “head startand they are more likely to be motivated to do what you want them to do.”

From: “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert Cialdini

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Let me do a better job of explaining

4

Offer negative,

after-the-fact information-example

Atlantic Bottlenose Dolphin, Costa Rica

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Drop

5

Fail-example

“Last-one-picked-in-gym-class feeling?”

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Scrabble, 1987 ‐ rules

Mother, Father and two lion cubs playing in the sunny afternoon

Learn

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6

If-example

Plane landing, Vancouver, BC

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“If the cardmemberexperiences a loss of

life…”

Kohl’s credit card activation 11/17/08

When

7

You disagree with someone‐example

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Anchorage airport menu

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Rockhopper penguin, Saunders Island, Falkland Islands, Jan. 2012

Gentoo Penguin, Sea Lion Island, Falkland Islands, Jan. 2012

Ask:

“What are your reasons for that?”

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Or

• That surprises me. Can you explain the reason for that?

• You must have a good reason to say that. Can you explain it to me please?

8Spend money

‐example

Invest

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9

Do you have any questions?

‐example

Churchill, Manitoba, Canada, 11/09

Costa Rica plane dashboard, 2003

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Cordova, AK grocery store

What questions do you have?

10

Can I ask you a question?‐example

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Weak language usually lowers respect from others

I have a question for you.

11

Can you spell that?‐example

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Iceland

Please spell that for me.

12

Forgot someone’s name?

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Please remind me of your name.

13

Arguing over a fact?‐example

Toronto

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Look it up

14

Assume someone is ready to listen

Ask:

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

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15Best way to greet

Exercise – greet

16

What do you do?

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“How do you spend most of your time?”

17

Best way to compliment?

‐example

YOU messages

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Instead of

“I know!”

change to

“You’re right!”

A Top Goal for today:

EMPATHY

4 word formula to use

“How _________ for you.”

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18

Specific words in industry?‐example

Use their words:

Convention/conference

19. Use the word “not”

• that’s bad ‐> that’s not good

• It’s too challenging ‐> it’s not easy

• I forgot ‐> I didn’t remember

From “Every Word Has Power” by Yvonne Oswald

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Before I close, option to fill out the

purple coach entry form

to be entered into the drawing

I may think that I’m interesting, but I’m not more interesting than

lunch.

From “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch

The process of change

If it first you don’t succeed… adapted from “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I fall in.

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Chapter 2

I walk down the same street


I pretend I don’t see it

I fall in again

Chapter 3



I see it is there

I still fall in…it’s a habit

Chapter 4



I walk around it

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Chapter 5

I walk down another street

Me and Billy Artemenko, 1977

Billy Artemenko, 2008

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Leaving Gram’s ~1977

Changing your brain to use new choices in words and affect others in a positive emotional way - small actions, one word at a time add up.

karen purves communicate with strength · 9/6/2019 17 ‘forgetting curves’’ “ a great deal...

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