klondike oddjobs

8/11/2019 Klondike Oddjobs

1/69


2/69

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO EITAN MORSE

Look at me now, asshole.


3/69

A FIVE DAY JOURNEY BY BUS

An automated voice rings out from the sky

This is not your outbound bus

as he blows a curl of amphetamine fumesfrom his mouth to yours

a secondhand kiss from Lady Liberty

and a trucker who dug up Billy the Kid's olt .!"

patrolling the lot with a metal detector and crack cocaine

#iesel smoke fills a garage in #es $oines

and the trucker and his girl

giggle like they know a secret you will never know

suckling the muffler as we e%it the station

arguing over whether this is &ndiana or &llinois

hen you're pleasantly accosted by a (alvadorian

whose father was deported

who walks with a limp from the cancer he had as a child

who grew up in Los Angeles and never saw a snowflake until today

stranded for twelve hours in a bli))ard

on the first hot day of summer

at a truck stop in lear Lake, &owa

crying for Alaska

but you tell the truckers you're headed for ashington

because you can't bear to let them think

they haven't gone as far as you

and the driver sleeps in a hotel while his passengers suffer in the miserable cold

desperate for another layer of skin

and the driver dreams of a sunny day


As the dragon rolls down *+th (treet in $inneapolis


4/69

barrels on both ends

kept alive by the frantic pedaling of si%teen drunken Burning $en

slamming down shots

crying of death

facing inwardpassing ta%icabs

spitting out hipsters

and eating new ones

without a final destination

turning the gears to blackout the drunken monster yowls

and you wonder if it might glide right off the map

and devour the youth from town to town

until not a sober soul is left


#ancing red neon flickers in the mirrored walls

and in the knoephla soup that ripples under an old man's ittery spoon

Kroll's has the best burger in -argo

and people there don't need to smile to look happy

and you fear it's ignorance

because beautiful things can only e%ist with ugly things behind them

ou can see for a thousand miles across the empty /orth #akota sky

not a tree or beast

and in the absence of everything

a waitress slides a burger across the linoleum counter

and it tastes like the blood of 0od

1e must be the slowest driver alive

2il rigs swing gracefully on the prairie

while an oil man waits

on the bus


5/69

for a summer of dangerous work

and a group of renegades readies to oust the old man driver

whispering brutes with knives in hand

The American #ream has moved to the north and the rebels still plotas a construction man prays for steady work in $inot, /.#.

and the old man turns the radio on and everyone scowls to The (tars and (tripes -orever

e stop between two strip clubs and a (alvation Army

with a cross and a flourish that looks like the ass of hrist

fucked by a backwards dagger

and a homebound soldier cries 3the titty bars43

and readies his wallet

as the crackheads suck on half5burnt smokes

6veryone smokes in Billings

the heathens and hip fucks share their communion

and the army man sucks a stranger's tit on his first day home


1er purple mountains maesty rise above eastern $ontana

scarred by forest fire and billboards advertising untold attractions

when a bobcat steps out of the forest and everyone wants to know what kind of

music you like

because mountains are boring

and you want them to close their oily mouths and breathe

and the driver tells you this is not beautiful

and he leaves a kid in (pokane for taking too long to piss

and the rebel militia grows stronger

as they toss the kid's skateboard out the window in $oses Lake

where one of the crackheads wields a knife

carried off by seven flailing cops

collapses in their arms and floats away to another station


6/69

where he will wait

and wait

for his bus to come

#estroy me and erect a mountainLet me sleep in blankets of clouds and erupt in a pillar of ash

#estroy me and dig an ocean

Let the body swallow my bones into her watery core

and let me fall from the tip of the needle into 7uget (ound

while the whales cry and the crackheads rot

and the hipsters eat mushrooms and hide in corners mumbling

#estroy me and build a city where the buses burn and the drivers toast

to all the fucks we lost along the way


7/69

TEA

$ar% and 6ngels sit under a dusty cash register at my work. -reud is there too. The three of them are

having a tea party. They set their cups on little doilies. The ommunists are having a rousing chat and

-reud feels left out. 1e's already had more than four cups of tea. 1e is starting to feel manic from thecaffeine. 0reat minds do not drink weak tea. -reud begins to panic. &t isn't long before the itters make

him spill on himself. The tea makes his pages soggy and & have to throw him in the trash. $ar% and

6ngels are silent. & wonder who they belong to.


8/69

WELCOME BACK, MISS AMERICA

1ere she comes into the violent blue abyss

straddling bow5legged over a broken kitchen sink

se% so thick you can taste it in the airelcome back to the house of a thousand men clapping

where the rent is free and the broken bodies dance to your songs

ou are so careless

ou are a terrible thing sleeping on a bed of nails

ou are loved

ou are the si))ling ends of your perfectly maintained hairdo

crumbling

elcome back to the subtle life

where you are not 8ueen but you are hungry

and even here they pile and yearn

kissing each other's feet for a taste of your holy ground

but under your custom made naugahyde boots

the mountains will never remember your name


9/69

FORTY BELOW

&'ve taken a ob guiding tours of a refrigerated room kept at a constant temperature of forty degrees

below )ero. At this temperature, it takes about an hour for frostbite to set in, for a healthy person. &

enter the free)er five to ten times a day, each with a new group of gawking tourists, and the doorclamps behind me for e%actly five minutes. 9ome, e%perience the wonders of the Klondike,: & tell

them as they watch a torrent of hot water free)e in the air and shatter against the wall. hen we e%it, &

direct them to the gift shop, where they can buy hot drinks and cookies, which we sell for three dollars

each. hen & say the word 9cookie,: each of the frail travelers turns their head in ama)ement. 9ou

have cookies in Alaska;:

They are here in part to witness the caveman mentality of Alaska's residents, in 7.T. Barnum fashion.

e are the e%hibit deluded into fantasies of deliverance, nerds costumed in *2f course, this isn't true, but they love it.? 2ne of the men

breathes through a respirator and e%hales clouds. The woman twirls her left foot in clockwise circles as

one of the ladies in the back slumps into a great pile of flesh, limbs twisted around her, setting into a

fro)en rigor mortis. & am only two minutes into the tour. 9#o you see the way her Achilles tendon curls

up her leg;: The woman is unfa)ed and licks her lips in anticipation. 1er lips instantly gla)e with ice.

1er eyes are the color of the air. The man with the respirator tries to rouse his dead wife and crumples

beside her, which causes one more unsuspecting elder to keel. The rest are too cold to notice their fallen

comrades, and the woman who now stands ust inches from the tips of my feet has other things in mind.

91ow do you stay warm in that little uniform;: & try to keep my cool. (he twists and turns and another

oldster dies of stroke. There are two minutes left and & am running out of things to say. (he touches my

arm and & back into the emergency unlock button. /othing happens. (he takes off her shirt and &'m

fairly sure we're the only two left alive. 1er wrinkly skin begins to harden. &n a week, &'ll be in


10/69

/uremberg, but for now, we stand as statues, a costumed character and a naked whore fro)en under a

laser recreation of the northern lights.


11/69

BEASTS OF THE BATTERY BARN

#o you remember when Tommy broke his leg

and all the cousins came out to watch daddy set the bone

how they sat him down on the stumpand he screamed and screamed and they all umped back

when they heard the snap

your redneck dreams will get you nowhere

twisted bitch, scritching down the aisles of Battery Barn

in your aluminum stagecoach

voice of 0od booming unfulfillable promises in the irradiated light

of the A$ band

as you tap a sweet triple A halleluah

into your buckled armrest

cellular glow in your tangled hair

he used to make moonshine in the shed

as you fumble for change in your anti8ue coinpurse

a salesman looks you right in the eye

and tells you not to worry


12/69

EXHAUST

hen you leave the party to sleep

on the longest day of the year

and the midnight sun hangs over the mountainssi%teen glorious monks burn on (tate (treet

clouds of human smoke

circling around brick chimneys

vanish into the sky

crowds of human strangers

whistle and call your name

as the harlots of the @ed 2nion dance and sing

that summer is come

and your name is an adective

you are si% letters placed in order

in a melancholy parade

beneath the first thunderstorm in eight years

and you can't distinguish which are dreams

and which are threats

glittering under smokestack breath

transcendental in the rolling sky

as the teenagers sway

in the ha)e of Brooklyn and Babylon

you tumble into the e%haust


13/69

LITTER

Three days later

a sarcastic bottlecap

reminds you you are a criminal


14/69

UNDONE

e rise from the 6arth piece by piece

with all the knowledge in the universe

forgetting the past to remember the futurewe can see our entire lives from here

we make stars with the beams from the light of our eyes

consume death to breathe out new life

we wonder how we got here

only knowing where we might have been

and in our darkest ha)e we know that innocence awaits us

we are gods when time flows backwards


15/69

TAXIDERMY SHOW

The withered old bat has come to preserve her pelt

stained with cigarette smoke and (ero8uil

and a fully shaved homose%ual with an %5ray spectrometerensures her her skins are free of arsenic

and the rock lady's anti8ue uranium glass plate

shatters under blacklight

into a radioactive igsaw pu))le of shimmering green shards

and you swear by your morbid intentions

you are here

merely because you've e%hausted your options

and every new thing is less e%citing than the last

A blonde you are casually interested in

inspects the deadened feathers of a ptarmigan

fro)en in flight

and you consider how much better your night might have been

if the 6agles lub had a pinball machine

as the rock lady picks her uranium

from the eyesockets of a moose

demarbled in the hall

backing into the bat

who shrieks as one of the shards works its way into her inde% finger

and the woman with the ptarmigans twiddles her 85tip

through cracks no man should see

&t's ama)ing the dead can still bleed


16/69

THE SHOPPING MALL AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD

& think my short form is suffering. $y poetry is getting weirder. & am writing these thoughts on the

back of a very long receipt. (omething & have done before. All is not well.

1e's here again. 6very Thursday, this man stands in our store, answering 8uestions for customers. 1e

operates the tasting bar, handing out morsels of fresh smoked salmon to the gluttonous tourists. & don't

know his name, but he stands about si% foot four and & think he thinks he works here.

& live in a town that hosts more than nine hundred thousand visitors over the course of each summer.

They arrive by cruise ship in the mornings and spend most of the day perusing the ewelry stores. There

are, as far as &'ve counted, at least three maor classes of cruise ship passengers. The first, and most

tolerable, are those who buy salmon for their loved ones, pack it away in suitcases, and disappear onto

the trails. The second are the 8uestion askers. The distrusters. The ones who refuse to believe our lies.

The most unpleasant are those who have come to Alaska to window shop. The ones who stand at the

feet of mountains and fly in little helicopters to the top, clutching onto their twenty thousand dollar

necklaces, worried their e%tra baggage will cause the machines to malfunction. They despise salmon

and buy only the cheapest variety, suffering through every bite. The man at the tasting bar handles these

tourists especially well, and that is why we have not yet asked him to leave.

9an & help you with something;: 1e has asked me this several times. (ometimes & say yes and he

stumbles away muttering, as if frightened. 1e seems to have befriended one of my coworkers. This irks

me.

There is a themed cruise in town today. Themed cruise days are the most entertaining because it is

usually impossible to guess the theme. &t is rarely advertised, and for good reason considering the

themes of previous cruises. e've been told our town hosts a nudist cruise once a year, and so we

remain vigilant, scanning the tourists for 8uirks. The religious cruises are easiest to identify, as are the

gay cruises, if only because the men and women walk two by two. &'ve been told that a few years ago,

(kagway hosted a hristian cruise and a gay cruise on the same day and it made the whole town

uncomfortable. (ince then, the cruise lines have scheduled their voyages more discreetly. &'ve been a bit

da)ed figuring out today's theme. $ost of the people here match the e%pected descriptions.


17/69

The strange man at the tasting bar inserts toothpicks slowly into cubes of meat. & worry when the health

inspector comes that we might be shut down for his careless handling of food. & have yet to bring this

up with the manager. (he always seems so scatterbrained. The man tries to upsell to a person who

clearly knows nothing about fish. &t's a disaster and & take over where he left off.

90overnment and science rarely see eye to eye. The 9Keep @efrigerated: sticker is only there for

regulatory purposes. Almost any of our products will last outside refrigeration for weeks. (ee, this raw

sockeye doesn't have a refrigeration sticker and this fully cooked sockeye does. #on't you find that

odd; America is strange.:

9This isn't America, this is Alaska.: The customer e%its in angered confusion. & wonder if she is

searching for a policeman to arrest me for my lies. & repeat the story to my coworker and she laughs

uncomfortably, eying the man at the tasting bar. & can tell she's starting to wonder why he won't leave,

but & don't bring it up. $y other coworker, the one who seems to be his friend, is harder to talk to,

because she's usually high. & get an idea and immediately start writing it down.

$ore tourists enter and more tourists leave, mostly of the first and second type, but the man behind the

tasting bar seems flustered. 1e hasn't learned to shrug things off like & have. 1e whispers something to

my coworker, his friend, and she laughs hysterically. & wonder if he's figured out the theme of today's

cruise, or if one of the ship crew has leaked it to him. The manager gives him a look and returns to her

business. & restock cans from the room behind the employees only curtain and he approaches me.

9an & ask you something;:

9es.: & an%iously await his words. This is the first time he has spoken to me in confidence. & need to

know how his mind works. 1ow thin the line is between employment and insanity. 1e asks me the

8uestion.

9hy are you here;:

& slowly remove my clothes and head back to the ship.


18/69

PEOPLE ARE FUCKING ANIMALS

7eople are fucking animals

The average human orifice might as well be a vacuum cleaner

7eople are fucking animals


19/69

THE GREAT CARIBOU MIGRATION

A marching band of oblong spheroids wobbles

to the one two one two beat of the tides

with patches on their necksinhaling the 6arth

in geosynchronous rotation

and climb from the sea

onto ancient glacial docks

parading their /aso5American symphony

alongside the caribou

straggling through arcross

and north to 7rudhoe Bay

where biting flies will land on their eyeballs

and the lost children will die beside them

wondering if you are their mother

The spheroids collapse into great green meadows

where the salmon

having spawned

float back to the ocean

in the current of the stream

in pieces

and the timpanic beats of hooves

echo in the mountains

with the shuffle of the mighty American dollar

as they flick through their wallets for ivory

hen they have found their precious Alaska

they prance in the rain

under twirling umbrellas

spiraling into the sky

like lonely planets


20/69

from the T6$(2 helipad

and millions of years from now

someone on a distant world will see their headlamps flickering

through telescopes

at the top of the mountainand wonder

9hat is he doing;:

And they will disappear into paranoia

not knowing their vision will last forever

and reappear in monotone

dredging their hooves through dark brown earth

and onto the boardwalk

repeating lines

flickering out in the lights of the town

sweep gently into the arms of the sea

and endlessly reverberate in the one two one two beat of the tide


21/69

YAKUTANIA

The sorts of foul creatures

that must run through her head at night

the vacant delusions that burnthrough childhood whims

(he is a cataclysm

and you are the waves that crash upon akutania

The animals play in her head

like the fetid glyphs of little reminders

curled into s and s

etched under your eyelids

so you can see them

when you dream

The winter can be so cruel

Like the color of the curtains in her bedroom

washed out in the sun

she is a message in semaphore

and you are a distant man

watching through binoculars

waiting for the words to make sense


22/69

FOR BRAUTIGAN

&'m fairly sure that @ichard Brautigan is dead

and it's comforting

knowing that someday someone might thinkthe same thing about me

There's something nice about not knowing


23/69

ON THE RIDGELINE WITH YOHAI

After sleeping in a tent

on the ridgeline with ohai

both of us smelling like a dog's ass>not to be trite?

this is only the second time

&'ve been to the (weet Tooth af

at si% thirty in the morning

and the waitress already knows me by name

eeks later

when ohai is long gone

on a drinking night at akutania

the waitress calls to me

and & remember reading a poem

at Two Ton Tom's secret spot

with my buddy whose ass & got fired

who had to sleep outside

before he left (kagway

who returned to his parents

as homeless as he was

on those long nights

1e told me &'d be more successful

if & was less avant garde

& don't know if he meant this

about my writing

or about my life

because & know &'m a cra)y bastard

and & know he could see that

but why would & want a friend who couldn't;


24/69

(o & belted out a poem to the girl from the (weet Tooth

though it might have looked like a am session

with my beautiful roommate >in ohai's words?

and & only wish

that it could have been a poemabout sitting on the ridgeline

in Tom's secret spot

and about the (weet Tooth af

or about those fucking bears

we nearly shit our pants for

even though it was too early in the season to worry

& only wish it could have been a poem

about my friend who left too soon


25/69

PEOPLE

& wonder whatever happened to

the Lithuanian man in the black hat

who let me know via te%twhen & had mail at the dredge house

people disappear so fast


26/69

SCHEME

Living ne%t door to the least monitored international airport in the Cnited (tates comforts me on a level

& can't 8uite understand. 6very night & am woken by bush planes making their way into anada and &

know & could walk to the border from here, but their method sounds like a real escape. &'m not sure ifthe passengers understand how valuable their e%perience might be if their lives were less bland. &'m

olted out of my dreams again and & decide it's best to ust stay up, since & have to work in an hour. & can

see the glaciers melting from here. & reali)e that no matter where & am in life, it always feels like & have

to work in an hour. The feeling is stronger when & am working for myself, and on my off days, & have

trouble tolerating the idea of having my head anywhere but in a notebook.

& have this scheme &'ve been working on that & haven't told anyone about, nor have & written down. &'m

afraid & might lose it in the chasm of my own mind. $any people's schemes turn out this way, but in the

hundreds of composition books &'ve filled from top to bottom, nearly every idea &'ve thought up in the

last ten years is neatly filed away in the basement of my family's new house, or in a storage bin

somewhere.

The schemeD #evelop a comple% literary character, or use one from a cartoon & watched as a child.

Become that character. (ee a therapist for several months and allow him to analy)e me. @ecord our

sessions. 7ublish the transcripts in 7layboy or @olling (tone.

hen & started writing this little essay, & thought & could hold back from revealing my scheme. &

thought & could leave you at the end still wondering.

But & can't bear to let a single thought disappear, because if & don't tell you, it's like & never thought it in

the first place. The plane disappears behind the mountains and & am set for another day of work.


27/69

THE KING OF SKAGWAY

2n a dollar bill pinned to the wall

at the Bonan)a Bar and 0rill in (kagway, Alaska

90o ards. CK (ucks.:ne%t to a dollar that says 9ALL 1A&L T16 C66/:

and &'m sitting ne%t to the King of (t. Thomas

who & brought here despite my hesitance

1e has an apartment waiting for him

ne%t to the Eola Eola

as far as & can gather from his conversations

they have new girls there

The radio plays the song from -ootloose

and then an awesome ee)er song

from the time before they sucked

and the bartender pulls the plug on her i7od

& reali)e she's beautiful

as she starts playing some electro gypsy punk masterpiece

& trust that 0eorge will be back

even though & have no reason to trust him

other than that Baeli likes him

The beautiful bartender tells me

what kind of wings to buy

and they are as e%cellent as her taste in music

& spill water on a receipt

that &'m trying to write a poem on

and & reali)e

that everything &'ve written in weeks


28/69

was written on receipts

&'m not sure if & should tell Baeli

that 0eorge bought a drink

with the money she let him havebut she knows

& suddenly reali)e the bartender is gone

and that 0eorge has been gone for a while

with Baeli who & thought would leave him

because (t. Thomas is calling

1e left his bike at my house

and & wonder if &'ll ever see the King of (kagway again


29/69

AGUA VS. THE LAND CANOE

Today, & build the land canoe. The refrigerator will be placed in a resting position on its back, and

wheels will be attached. The machine will by powered by oars and a keg of @obert's beer will be placed

in the free)er. orey and & will paint racing stripes on our land canoes and glide down A.B. $ountain.

2f course, the last time orey and & tried to race, & wound up naked on a bathroom floor crying 9FAgua4

FAgua4: to an audience of seven people. (o perhaps the land canoe can wait to tomorrow.


30/69

WINTER DESERT

And the business owners

who haven't spoken in twenty seven years

will cry at each other's funeralswhen the north wind overtakes

the wind from the Taiya

in the final struggle at summer's end

the roller skating hippies

will tumbleweed across the hilkoot

sprout like winter cactus buried in the snow

when the stampeders struggle to stamp out new paths

along the 0olden (taircase

and we will wither and e%tol our party lives

to those who will listen

or separate into fragments of broken Alaska

&n the rest of the world

we will pick up our burnt out pieces

migrate to college campuses and nightmare hotels

new music will spoil our desperate ears

lost in America

And the bartenders billowing in campfire glasses

will lock themselves in tiny rooms of ancient houses

until the sun comes up in $ay

and in the tiny rooms they'll make a thousand tiny baskets

and moccasins to sell and protect them

from the tundra snakes that bite their feet

And the broken machetes strapped to our backs

will remind us of the bush pilots

who cling to their teetering parachutes


31/69

and fly like superman in the storm

that approaches every evening

and ends its battle at the mountaintops

spraying the town with its wintry cru%

and turning its grief to the seaas the pilots tumble into another machine

the Alaska we know will only e%ist in our minds

and our friends will know it only by our stories


32/69

SHOES

6veryone in (kagway has holes in their shoes. & can't speak for the rest of Alaska, but it has become so

mainstream here that & have to wonder whether some of the phonier members of the community have

purposely drilled holes in their footwear, ust to fit in. Those of us who have conformed to this trend,whether by choice or by accident, can be easily distinguished from those of us who haven't. e walk

on our heels with our eyes fi%ed to our feet, especially on rainy days, and we shout in pain when we hit

a particularly pointy rock. &t's like we're all in training for the day we're forced to walk on hot coals.

The fakers are especially obvious. Their pained shouts don't have the same passion.

& am a faker.

& don't have any holes in my shoes at all.

&t's not that & don't want to fit in. And & don't believe & have any more common sense than the other

residents of (kagway. &t's ust that & think & read somewhere >probably mistakenly? that the human foot

contains some number of poorly developed taste buds, and & would rather taste my own socks than

whatever rank things these people are stepping in. & am not willing to take that risk.

& do a better ob than most of the fakers. & have timed out my uncomfortable shouts logarithmically so

each one seems unpredictable, and & watch my steps as carefully as the rest. /obody seems to suspect

anything.

&'m walking with Baeli to the li8uor store, something we do together often. &t is raining, as it does most

days. (he has real holes in her shoes, so she rarely makes eye contact. This is okay because & have a

ruse to keep up. e have to walk three e%tra blocks to avoid the areas where puddles usually form. 2ur

conversation is broken up by the pools that form around our feet.

9& can't wait to get out of here.: A 8uick walt) step.

9That's all you ever talk about. ou're coming out to party tonight.:

9/o &'m not. #o you think $iranda got the boot because your mom heard us talking about her;:


33/69

90ot the boot; hat are you; uit being so American.:

92h. (orry.: hat can & say; &'m still fi%ated on my shoes. e separate for a second to walk around a

large puddle.

9But no. & think it was (cott's decision.:

9$akes sense.:

9ou're coming out tonight though, don't change the subect. ou can't say no. & want to see you go

wild again like dance night.:

9/ot gonna happen.: & look up from my shoes and there's a gri))ly bear staring at us from across the

street. 9Ah4:

9hat's wrong; 0ot your feet wet;:

9/o, no, it's fine. (tepped on a rock.: & continue to walk on my heels. & can't break character.

9$ine are soaked, but &'m not 8uite ready to look away.:

9an & tell you something;:

9eah, what is it;:

The gri))ly bear charges. The truth is, my feet really are wet. &'m not sure how it happened, but & think &

finally have those holes.


34/69

APPEL DU VIDE

(itting at the top of a cliff

you teach the word 9saudade:

to your closest friendfor a thousand miles

on the first dark night in months

and the stars look like paint splotches on a black canvas

and the ground is a thousand feet away

and he tells you you need to learn

to appreciate silence

so you contemplate your summer's gradual fade into monotony

and how you feel more isolated the freer you become

and you can see the lights of the nearest town

and you wonder

how much better these stars must be

ust a few miles north

but if you keep heading north at the pace you're going

it won't be long

before the only place you have left to go

is into those stars

so you hesitate to break the silence

he told you to love

before finally telling him something

you think is profound

but he shrugs it off

like he already heard it from someone else

and you finally reali)e

he's thinking about the same things as you

and you want to help him

but he sees the same stars as you

calling you both

and maybe everyone


35/69

into the void

where time is a delusion

and everything stops

so you can remember the things you are going to love

looking down from the vacuum at the top of the cliffand knowing you don't love them yet

ou try to solve the problem

by telling him that these stars

are the best you've ever seen

and from where you are

it seems they're the closest they've ever been

and you reali)e he was right

you need to learn to appreciate silence

because without our words

we are ust a feeling

and feelings hurt worse

when you acknowledge their names

so in silence, you watch the abyss

the both of you wishing you weren't alone


36/69

THINGS I'VE OPENED BEER BOTTLES WITH IN THE LAST MONTH

A bottle opener

A rock

A park benchA dime

A knife

A knife

A knife


37/69

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE HANNAH MONTANA

(he totes her hula hoop

like a disciple

of some (t. $ark's headshopon the other side of the world

flipping a (kittle into her open mouth

offering you one

twirling through the air

you catch it like a performing seal

and ask her to see the package

so you can read the ingredients

and reassure yourself

that this is not food

before you disappear to read The 2ld $an and the (ea

but you know that 1emingway had it worse

so you stay for a few hours

she gives you the strangest look

ou can see the candy in her blood

emanating through her spinning hoop

as you sit

silent on the broken park bench

1er body is made of chemicals

and so is yours

she tries so hard

scoots ne%t to you

lights a oint

ou came to say goodbye

to a man you never met

and she plays a $iley yrus video


38/69

sarcastically

but you can tell she likes it

and you take a hit

The washed out colors still twirl in the night airbacked by the cheering of strangers

when she returns with gasoline and matches

you are forty pages deep

and you never see the grand finale

until months later

when she comes to say goodbye

to a man she never met


39/69

RIVER

The little canal is still noticeable

even at high tide

and & wonder how many salmon we killedby digging that one foot trench


40/69

THE GHOST OF SOAPY SMITH

&n the early part of autumn, the birch and alder stand out from the spruce on the mountainsides. 0loom

hangs over the valley and all the people in town crook their heads in annoyance. & reali)ed ust last

night that & live ne%t door to (arah 7alin's childhood home and & wonder, floating down a waterfall thatflows like syrup from a broken kitchen faucet, whether the hardware store sells spraypaint, when &'m

awoken by the ghost of (oapy (mith. & can only see his black shoes and pants but the voice is right. 1e

tells me he's a therapist and that he wants to help and & didn't know that about (oapy (mith. & ask him

about it and he says it's never too late to find a new profession. & tell him &'m a coward and he says he

knows because of something my great great grandfather did to a friend of his and & tell him it's about

time to forget the past because you've got a long life ahead of you. 1e says this advice is coming from a

8uestionable source and & concede. ou can't give advice that you wouldn't take yourself he says and &

think he's right. A trip to the hardware store yields no sign of spraypaint and maybe somebody lives in

(arah 7alin's house, so & forgo the whole plan and meditate in the Alder lump near The (pout when

some ackass tries to start a bonfire. & look at him like he's fuckin nuts and he blinks a couple times. &

think about where &'d be if & had found that paint and this guy says do you want a marshmallow on a

stick. & say yes and it covers up part of my field of vision when &'m bringing it to my mouth and &

recogni)e (oapy's shoes. All this town has got is past he says and even the present is over a hundred

years old. & tell him but in the real world things don't stay the same. 1e says that Alaska is the real

world and the present and the past and the future are the same stories and everyone's related and that

&'m the same coward that came before me and & eat my marshmallow. & tell him to think about the

future and he tells me you can't give advice you wouldn't take yourself and he gives me another

marshmallow and & think about digestion.


41/69

UNEXPECTED SUE

& am writing this because & want to look busy. & don't want the customer in my store to notice me

because & know her from my old ob. (he has worn the same outfit every day for the last several

months and & think she e%pects people not to notice.


42/69

THIS IS A MAP

hen you haven't had an ama)ing night in weeks

throw your gasoline snifter from the top

and wait a hundred seconds for the shatterif it comes too late you've climbed too high

and you may not make it back down to sea level

but if it comes too soon

follow the trails of animal blood

through the melting glacial ice

and if you don't remember where you are

remember to take a left past the Alder lump

and if you forget where you are again

take a right to tempt fate

ontinue along the right path until you see the tarp

and from there

you're only a few steps away from The (pout

ou could stay there all year long

and never see another human

e%cept for the man who owns the tarp

and & suspect he's long gone

& wrote him a letter once

and tucked it underneath his belongings

Like most of the letters &'ve written in my life

it was never meant to be read

but if you find The (pout

and the man is there

give him my regards


43/69

NONSMOKER'S MANIFESTO

Thus began a baffling and crippling danse macabre

the evangelists of Broadway pitching alcohol as a cure for drunkenness

during which & made some strange decisionsthat & cannot seem to rationali)e

The image of a then ac8uaintance

who reminded me of someone & once knew

curled up with a cigarette

twisted her fingers one by one in silent ventrilo8uy

And she wakes up with feathers in her bedsheets

and paints her face like a gargoyle

and paints the outlines of her light blue sedan

in pastel red beside the ore docks

where the arctic terns

would one by one slam into her windshield

with a horrifying thud

hen & woke up blindfolded in the garden of 6den

and blacked out the sky

& climbed a mountain on the night & 8uit my ob

and on drag night & hid silently

in the glow of satellites

learning to appreciate the silence

of infinite noise

and all & hear are distant ships

and the calls of the migratory terns

as they screech into the glass

And she used to be such a firestarter

before the tides had their way


44/69

and once not long ago & was a figurehead

shining in the headlamps of the downtrodden

and once not long ago & was a companion

and a martyr

and the halls of ournalism marked me offas best forgotten

and & disappeared around the world

in a madcap stutter

& wagered she couldn't smoke ust one

under the alpine glow

And the shutter speed counts off to si%ty

reducing us to a radiant flash in the headlights

reducing the ravens to arctic terns

overe%posed under the northern lights


45/69

SHE'S ONLY EVER BEEN TO CHINA AND SKAGWAY

& cooked some fried rice and & was eating it in front of the little hinese girl who's staying in my

apartment. (he looked at me in ama)ement and asked 9Are you American;: and & said 9up.: Then she

said 9America is ama)ing.: & don't think she knew we eat hinese food here.


46/69

SUN GOD

Teach them 6nglish and tell them to worship a sun god

the lord come up you rise the lord come down you fall

teach them to count the days in si%es and sevensand the years in tens

teach them to pray for yesterday and fear tomorrow

for they are the children of a ealous sun

teach them of souls and seconds

Little $an, teach the signs of the stars

teach them of monarchs and the permanence of death

that the past is lost

teach them 6nglish and tell them of a god they can never see

Bow to the light of time, Little $an, it will burn out your eyes


47/69

JOS MUNROY

&f you ever meet someone named Eos

or someone named $unroy

ask him if he's Eos $unroybecause if he is

you've ust met

the only good man

left in (kagway


48/69

I HAVE THE WEIRDEST KIND OF HANGOVER

& have the weirdest kind of hangover

like &'ve woken up on a bus

and & missed my stopand &'m in some strange new town

drifting further from my destination


like the summer was a dream

and the people &'ve met

are figments of some (tranger orld


like &'m stuck in hell

but &'ve been here a while

so &'m getting used to it


like &'ve woken up on a bus

and & missed my stop

and &'m in some strange new town

drifting further from my destination


49/69

BATHROOM EMERGENCY

&t's one of those bathroom emergencies

they tell you about in kindergarten

where you are drinking and pissing at the same timefor the rest of your life

forever

and they make your bathroom into a museum

where you are the centerpiece

fro)en in time

a living fountain

that eventually sells for a million dollars at auction

and is permanently installed

in an old man's closet


50/69

THE ONLY CLIFF FACE IN AMERICA THAT DOUBLES AS A BILLBOARD

Towering over (kagway

the only cliff face in America

that doubles as a billboard91ere's -luffy after we butchered him

wouldn't you love to own a piece of Alaska;:


51/69

REMIND ME TO WRITE A POEM

@emind me to write a poem

about a clown singing Love (hack

with a beautiful redhead on karaoke nightwho flipped her friend the bird

but made it look like it was pointed at me


with the words of strangers

overheard in the bar that night


about how & got there

and how things have changed

since the first karaoke night in $ay

and about how & never paid Eeff back

for the drinks he bought me

that very first night


where Eeff gets his money back

someday in the future

because even broken promises

can be kept in fiction


52/69

THE GHOST OF SOAPY'S RETURN

9& understand that you're trying to write a book, but you need to put yourself out there more.:

9(ee, & think the problem is deeper. riting a poem or a story re8uires the living of a certain amount oflife, and & feel like &'ve already e%hausted my Alaskan e%perience into a complete work. But despite

that, & feel like there's too much left unsaid. Like there's this whole untouched emotional aspect that &

have yet to e%plore, and &'m not sure how to access it without altering the e%perience in and of itself.:

9#o you want to access it;:

9& don't know, maybe. But & have bigger problems too. -or the last several months, &'ve been faced with

this dearth of intellectual stimulation. At first & thought & could live without access to media. &'ve read

eight books this summer and & still feel... well, on top of that, &'ve had to deal with this crippling case of

la)iness, which & know is the cause of my lack of stimulation, but it's itself caused bythat lack of

stimulation. &t's not that & haven't had good conversations here, or been to good parties. &'m actually

fairly content with the way &'ve spent these last five months. & think it's the mountains. alking under

such glory for so long has caused a dulling effect. & barely notice them anymore.:

9Are you sure it isn't the company you keep;:

9&t all adds up. The si)e of the town has a lot to do with it. $y social circle is very limited. $ost of the

people here are assholes and the ones who aren't have a habit of leaving, or being unavailable or

detached. ith only a week left, & feel like the friendships &'ve made here are written on melting

glaciers. &t felt like that at the beginning, too. That maybe another cause of my lack of stimulation

might be the impermanence of the whole thing. & am as detached as the rest of them. $aybe they think

that &'m an asshole too. $aybe we all think the people here are assholes because we're afraid. That if

we develop relationships here, they'll be torn apart. & think every one of us has gotten more aloof as the

season has progressed. As we've watched our friends leave one by one.

9#o you regret not reaching out;:

9es, but it's a necessary purgatory. e all have places to be and things to do and we all know this is


53/69

temporary. But so is life.:

9& still think you're a coward.:

The waves wash upon the shore like warm caramel.


54/69

WILDLIFE

A little girl says

9where's dad;:

and another little girl says9maybe he got eat eaten by a chupacabra:

clearly

they've never been to Alaska before


55/69

I AM TRAPPED UNDER A GAZEBO IN THE POURING RAIN IN BEAR COUNTRY

& am trapped under a ga)ebo in the pouring rain in bear country

like that night at oney &sland

when & wrote the beginning of a storythat never got an end

#roplets pour in two uncertain streams

from a bent tin roof

where a vagrant plays broken up blues

on a sa%ophone

The paper bag clinging to the skin

of a forty ounce bottle of malt li8uor

is the color of the si% wooden beams

holding up the driest prison by the sea

The vagrant tosses a hissing cigarette

from the roof

to the cracking granite pavement

& don't know how he kept it lit

but the pause between melancholy verses

becomes a crescendo

& am trapped under a ga)ebo in the pouring rain in bear country

sweeping broken off pieces of graphite

from the table

where & once carved someone else's name

with a blunt tipped pocket knife

a name &'ve carved in more tables

than & would care to admit

The ferris wheels and fishing boats rumble

and the sa%ophone gurgles in the rain

the paper bag

from the forty ounce bottle of malt li8uor

blows in the wind


56/69

and impresses on an iron tree like a @orschach test

and & see my reflection

in a growing body of water

& am trapped under a ga)ebo in the pouring rain in bear countrywhere a broken old man withers as he walks

and the Gagrant's Blues sounds like a drowning man

The sa%ophone falls from the sky like brass hail

it makes the strangest sound when it hits the rocks

like one last cry for breath


57/69

A LETTER TO LARRY GINTZ

#ear Larry,

& ust carved 9LA@@ 0&/TH: onto a park bench, which &'ll have you know & have a habit of doing.1opefully the park benches all over America that say 9LA@@ 0&/TH: on them will never point back

to you.

ours sincerely,

.A. $ullins


58/69

MASTER LOCK

There is a fishing weight at the bottom of Lower #ewey Lake

that used to be a $aster Lock

with the same combinationthat opened my old garage door in $issouri

There is a $aster Lock at the bottom of Lower #ewey Lake

that protected my luggage

when & backpacked in 6urope

five years ago

There is a trout at the bottom of Lower #ewey Lake

who & would have eaten

had the $aster Lock not snapped my line

There is a person at the bottom of Lower #ewey Lake

who used to be a trout

and now he knows the combination

to my old garage door in $issouri


59/69

LAST DAY

#rinking their last Alaskan beer

on a back porch

remembering the nights in $aywhen the world was big and new

and the realities of small town life

were a ha)y fantasy

curled into a hopeful future

and dreams of Alaska still lingered

before they began to dream

6very porchlight in (kagway is lit

for the brothers and sisters

we've lost to the winter

in vigil like the summer is a kidnapped man

and autumn is a 1itchcock score

of migrating crows

waiting for the porchlights to dim

between -ace $ountain and the hilkats

where every missing (kagway child

watches Alaska float away


60/69

PLEONASM ON THE M/V MALASPINA

The Alaska $arine 1ighway Gessel $IG $alaspina is a redundant acronym. (till, upon boarding the

vessel, the redundancy feels appropriate in connection to my Alaskan life, which has been permanently

stained by pleonasm. $y workplace serves, or served, primarily tourists, who are, in their essence,replications of one another, facsimiles who have the same bodies and the same minds as those who

e%ited the shop immediately prior. Tourists who arrive on different days, though having no opportunity

to meet for the purposes of conspiracy, ask the same 8uestions as their unknowing counterparts, and

make the same okes. &n fact, the very construction of a terrible oke appears now to be determinant

upon some grammatical core that e%ists at the center of every replicant mind. 3& used to smoke a lot of

salmon in college, but it's hard to find rolling papers that large3 and its variants have been repeated at

least two hundred times over the course of the summer and everyone and their mother laughs like it's

the most original thing they've ever heard, despite their standing less than five feet from a @ay Troll

postcard that reads 3&f you must smoke, smoke salmon.3 The situation has convinced me that the only

truly original oke is one so veiled in obscurity that only its originator finds it funny, and that the only

original person is one whose thoughts are so unconstrained by the prescriptivist rules of grammar that

he or she is only ever understood in the most generic sense of the word, as a collection of molecules

vaguely resembling a person. 6ach of us are imprisoned by the rules of our languages, and as & have

learned through e%tensive interaction with foreigners, all of our languages are the same.

The replicants come to (kagway on cruise ships, where they're given opportunities to spend their

money in e%otic ways. The economy of (kagway in the summer relies primarily on 36%cursions,3

which offer tourists once in a lifetime e%periences, to be repeated for the lifetimes of all the cruise ship

tourists who visit Alaska, many of whom visit more than once. (econdary to the 6%cursions for

(kagway's economy come the ewelry stores, which are owned by the cruise lines, and which have

forced most of the town's mom 'n' pop stores out of business, as the C( /ational 7ark (ervice took

control of the town in the J+s, raising folks' rent to accommodate the cruise lines. 2n the ships

themselves, passengers enoy such lavish e%periences as the ubi8uitous all5you5can5eat buffet and the

screenings of bigtime 1ollywood movies. They watch whales from the portside >which can also be

done at (kagway's own akutania 7oint?, and they leave their children with corporate babysitters so

they don't have to e%perience the #angers of the Alaskan ild.

7eople who find the Alaskan cruise ship e%perience interesting happen to fall into a very specific


61/69

demographic. $ost of them belong to the upper class of a developed first world country and most of

them have saved money their entire lives to be pampered on boats. &t is the type of person who gets off

on being able to say they've visited Alaska, the most remote place they can think of. The tourists are

here and gone so 8uickly, they leave with an image of Alaska as a place that has a lot of mountains and

gift shops, and they're happy with that. The e%perience of happiness seems to be common to all of theme%cept for one woman & met at the beginning of the season whose husband won the tickets in a

sweepstakes. & wish & had gotten to know her better.

Alaska is not a miserable place because of the unusual daylight hours. &t is not a miserable place

because its disillusioned residents only live here a summer at a time. &t is not a miserable place because

it has the highest suicide rate of any American state. Alaska is not a miserable place. 7eople enter with

a smile and leave with a smile. The folks who stay do so only for the daily grind, and the tourists leave

as happily as the rest. 6very. (ingle. 2ne of them.

(kagway's summertime residents are as redundant as the tourists. They can be reasonably broken down

into four groupsD the hippies, the ewelers, the hikers and the s8uares, who interact with each other only

superficially. The full time residents of (kagway belong to none of these groups and can only be

distinguished by career. The summertimers are mostly looking for adventure, though few of them find

it. This is an effect both of their long work hours and of their poor planning skills. They, like the

tourists, are seeking out a once in a lifetime e%perience, and, much the same, many of them come back.

They are my peer group and they all hate tourists as much as & do.

Aboard the Alaska $arine 1ighway Gessel $IG $alaspina, & have my first opportunity to reflect in

months. &'ve spent my entire summer working and hiking, and sometimes working while hiking. & am

now too small for any of the clothes & brought on this ourney, and like my compatriates in town, many

of whom are on this same vessel, & am too stubborn to purchase a belt. &t is especially hard to pull up a

pair of pants while toting luggage. This does not stop me, although when & set down my bags, & find my

right arm unusably weak.

The $alaspina is a ferry on the much used Alaska $arine 1ighway (ystem. This time of year, it travels

up and down the &nside 7assage from (kagway to Bellingham, ashington. &t is the preferred method

of travel for summertime residents leaving (kagway. The boat itself is more accommodating than & had

e%pected. &t's e8uipped with a full bar and various lounges for the rela%ation of weary travelers.


62/69

9o, asshole4: (omeone & know vaguely from town calls out to me. 1e does not know me well enough

to call me 'asshole.'

91ey man, how's it going;:

9/ot too shabby my friend. 0lad to finally get out of this dump.:

9& know it. Back to the real world. &'ve been working on this book for months, think & might finally

have a chance to finish it. (o glad to be away from the tourists.:

9(weet, what book is it;:

9/ah, & mean &'m writing a book.: 1e looks at me like &'ve lost my mind.

9ool, cool. heck out this postcard & ust bought for my girl back home.: 1e shows me that same

damn @ay Troll postcard that all the tourists laugh at. 9Told her to 8uit smoking a million times and this

is ust funny as shit. (moke salmon.:

The food on the ferry is more e%pensive than it should be, as are most things when sold to captive

audiences. & brought some canned goods in my bag, but &'m saving them for the bus ride home. &

haven't yet found someone here & can hold a conversation with for more than a few minutes, but & only

found a few in (kagway, so it's nothing new. &'ve got instant coffee and an armful of notebooks to keep

me company.

The ferry stops in Ketchikan for a few hours and & have time to e%plore. The first striking thing about

Ketchikan is that it's almost e%actly the same as (kagway. The houses are stilted and the scenery is

different, but that same post5spawn smell of dead fish hangs in the air and the people are almost

identical despite the tour season ending. The whales are active here today, so & head back to the boat

and watch them for a while from the port side of the anchored ferry, as many of the passengers do. &t's

nothing & haven't seen before, but it's still beautiful. & get back off the boat to scope the competition, to

compare the gift shops of Ketchikan to those of (kagway. There are ust as many ewelry stores, but

their products seem nicer, maybe because they're unfamiliar. & find a smoked salmon shop and & can


63/69

hear the ignorant replicants asking the same inane 8uestions they asked me ust a few days ago. & even

recogni)e a tourist or two and & bet they're shocked to see me in Ketchikan.

The ferry reboards and night sets in, which it seems to have been doing earlier each day. & drink an

instant coffee and watch the new (tar Trek movie in the movie lounge, which & appreciate because &haven't had much e%posure to pop culture this summer. hen the movie ends, & refill my coffee and

head out onto the deck to starga)e. & notice a figure in the water slowly approaching the ferry. Cpon

closer inspection, it turns out to be a lifeboar, piloted by a strange little man. There's nobody else on the

deck to witness this, so & watch him closely. &t's hard to make out what he's doing, but he's making a lot

of noise and & can see his outline reaching into the water, splashing around the edge of the boat like

fireworks. The splashing stops and he ties up the life boat a way's down the edge of the ship. 1e climbs

awkwardly up a little ladder onto the deck. & watch from behind a corner, trying to to give away my

position, and & can see the figure trying to spark a lighter in the wind. 1e lights the flame. 7anicked, &

run toward him and & don't know what & was e%pecting, but & swear to 0od he was smoking a salmon

and it was hilarious and profound and all the things & never wanted it to be.


64/69

OVERHEARD ON THE P.A.

The movie is called 2blivion

it is a Tom ruise movie

once again, it's oblivion in five minutes


65/69

LOOKING FOR THE LITTLE PRINCE

There is not a building for three hundred miles

and everything is black e%cept for the stars

reflecting on the clear water below me& cannot see the 6arth from here

and a passing stranger asks

Aren't you cold;

& tell him & am an astronaut

& do this for a living

&t is very cold in space


66/69

ANOTHER JOURNEY

And once you've destroyed me

wait and wait and wait

in Bellinghamfor the bus to bring you home

where the bartender smokes legal weed

outside your makeshift shelter

and throws you onto rainy streets

The infinite flow of coffee and alcohol

from the dirtiest faucets in -airhaven

where a kind woman says that

(atan is the president

and keeps the taps open

so you don't have to brave the night

and you can still taste the watery drink

two days later

when a pretty single mother

puts her two small girls

on the bus in (eattle

waving goodbye like the first day of school

and it tumbles down the freeway

through old familiar unctions

ou're afraid to draw attention

but the people this time are different

and you start to think that maybe

after everyone you've seen

and everyone you've been

this is your outbound bus

and the thing you've been waiting for

is not so intangible

ou are so thick with the soil of Alaskan summer


67/69

your own reflection is alien in the bus window

By 6llensburg most of them are reading books

and you wonder if this is a new fad

and what other wonderful things you've missed

&n $oses Lake you see a crow

slam into a telephone pole in the wind

and the driver of another bus wanders the lot

the same man who left the kid

si% months ago in (pokane

he looks you in the eye

and for a second you think he sees that kid

gliding down the interstate

on little plastic wheels

black feathers dancing in the wind

The &nvisible /eon American (ymphony

that rings from truck stop to truck stop

in the wandering mind

plays on

lilting in the potholes and broken pavement

as the tires screech synthetic independence

and the small town choir sings along

in bloody highway media

as the bus pushes forward

$ontana seems so small

when everything is black

the sun comes up in Billings

a 7ac $an ghost town at A$

and you whir into the station

where you say goodbye


68/69

to a friendly man with rotting teeth

empty wallet vagabond

who kept you company on the road

ou sleep again to asper, yoming

and you didn't know there really wereantelope on the range

gra)ing in their little Africa

A camoflaged man in a bush

feigns safari with mos8uito net accuracy

while his brother fishes for trout

in the indy @iver anyon

and the family of the bus

are silent and motionless

like they are trying to remember

the bush plane blues

ou can not be the only one

poisoned by the mad chasms of vagrancy

on this bus for the ne%t

without a terminal in sight


passing through

searching for a clean motel


still lingering

in the dreams of Alaska

where the mountains protect you

from the outside world

and the road is an alien fantasy

ou can not be the only one broken by promises

of pending adventure

The bus pulls into a garage in #enver


69/69

and you reali)e this will be your final transfer

and you hope as the driver spits on the greasy floor

that one day the road might remind you of home

klondike oddjobs

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