Learning To ListenYour Most Useful Skill As An Educator?

EARCOS, November 1, 2013Kirsten Olson, Ed.D., PCC

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“The story is told of a South American tribe that went on a long march, day after day, when all of a sudden they

would stop walking, sit down to rest for awhile, and then make camp for a couple of days

before going any farther.

They explained that they needed the time of rest so that their souls could catch up with them.”

-Wayne Muller, Sabbath

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“I didn’t realize how much my job was about listening.Listening to my staff, listening to teachers, listening to parents and

the community. I wish I’d been better prepared for that.”

My Client, School Leader...

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The power of listening

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What’s your listening “biography?”Remember a time you felt deeply listened to. Recall the details and what was happening.

How did you feel?

-Describe this to your partner.

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Qualities of deep listening

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DEEPLY LISTENING

When someone deeply listens to youit is like holding out a dented cup you have had since childhood

and watching it fill up with cold fresh water.

When it balances on the top of the rim you're understood.When it overflows and touches your skin you are loved.

When someone deeply listens to youThe room where you stay starts a new life

And the place where you wrote your first poemBegins to blow in your mind’s eye.It’s as if gold has been discovered.

When someone deeply listens to youyour bare feet are on the earth

and the beloved land that seemed distantis now at home within you.

-John Fox

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Open and honest questions.

What are they?

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What’s a common problem at your

school?

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Get into a triad.

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3 Deep Cleansing Breaths

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Triad Protocol

APresents dilemma

BListens carefully, and then asks open and honest

questions

CListens quietly and takes notes as A and B talk. Summarizes what A and B have said, and offers

observations as a conclusion.

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A = What Happened

B = Did I get you right?

C = Here's what I heard…

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• Practice deep listening

• Practice asking open and honest questions

• Practice concluding with observation, not judgment

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Observer/Concluder

• Observe without judging

• “I notice that...”

• “When you said X, I heard tension in your voice...”

• “This seems to be a very upsetting situation.”

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Begin.

(3 minutes for each role)

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How was that for you?

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“Being listened to is so close to being loved most of us cannot tell the difference.”

-David Oxberg

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Resources

• Body Scan: http://www.buddhanet.net/audio-meditation.htm

• Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/index.aspx

• Center for Courage and Renewal (listening techniques) http://www.couragerenewal.org

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