learning your own resilience

8/6/2019 Learning Your Own Resilience

1/37

Learning Your OwnResilienceLearning Your OwnResilience

Presented by Nancy Dranitsaris

Centre for Mindful Therapies


2/37

Agenda

3 Key ChallengesKey Challenges

3 Empathy or Compassion FatigueEmpathy or Compassion Fatigue

3 The Brain and Emotional ManagementThe Brain and Emotional Management

3

React vs. RespondReact vs. Respond3 Tools & TechniquesTools & Techniques

3 Introduction to MindfulnessIntroduction to Mindfulness

3 Three-Minute Breathing SpaceThree-Minute Breathing Space

3 Next StepsNext Steps


3/37

Resilient Professionals3 Convey a sense of genuine commitment and confidence to helpConvey a sense of genuine commitment and confidence to help

with their clients stress levels and critical issueswith their clients stress levels and critical issues

3 Communicate competence and have a good sense of masteryCommunicate competence and have a good sense of mastery

with handling challenging and difficult clientswith handling challenging and difficult clients

3 Feel optimistic, positive, and energetic about the good workFeel optimistic, positive, and energetic about the good work

they do and have good coping resourcesthey do and have good coping resources

3 Have a purpose-driven life, find meaning with their professionHave a purpose-driven life, find meaning with their profession

and practice good self-care techniquesand practice good self-care techniques

3 Maintain excellent interpersonal insight and still have theMaintain excellent interpersonal insight and still have the

capacity for warmth, caring, and empathycapacity for warmth, caring, and empathy


4/37

Theory of Empathy orCompassion Fatigue3 Persons who work in high touch professions arePersons who work in high touch professions are

more vulnerable than those that dontmore vulnerable than those that dont

3 A natural artifact of working with clients that haveA natural artifact of working with clients that have

intense acute and chronic physical conditions,intense acute and chronic physical conditions,

mental health conditions, and behavioral healthmental health conditions, and behavioral healthissues.issues.

3 Many times an unconscious process where theMany times an unconscious process where the

professional and those around them may notprofessional and those around them may not

recognize.recognize.

3 EF is cumulative and ranges on a continuum of low,EF is cumulative and ranges on a continuum of low,

moderate, and high levels of physical-emotional-moderate, and high levels of physical-emotional-

mental spiritual, and occupational exhaustion.mental spiritual, and occupational exhaustion.


5/37

Button Pressing

3 Difficult clients elicit emotional reactionsDifficult clients elicit emotional reactions

3 Can shift us from objective responses toCan shift us from objective responses to

emotional reactionsemotional reactions

3 Understanding how this works and behavioursUnderstanding how this works and behaviours

associated with emotional reactions can helpassociated with emotional reactions can help

us depersonalizeus depersonalize

3 Need to understand how the brainNeed to understand how the brain

downshifts when we have our buttonsdownshifts when we have our buttons

pressedpressed


6/37

Your Greatest Challenge

3 We all have clients who push ourWe all have clients who push our

buttons.buttons.

3

Exercise: Take a moment, reflect and:Exercise: Take a moment, reflect and:

Identify two or three challenging clientIdentify two or three challenging client

situationssituations

How does this situation press yourHow does this situation press your

buttonsbuttons

Share with the groupShare with the group


7/37

The Triune Brain

3 The Reptilian BrainThe Reptilian Brain

SurvivalSurvival

Kill or be KilledKill or be Killed

3

Limbic SystemLimbic System Cooperation, bondingCooperation, bonding

Emotional memoryEmotional memory

Empathy, appetiteEmpathy, appetite

3 NeocortexNeocortex Planning, objectivityPlanning, objectivity

Interpretation and controlInterpretation and control


8/37

Downshifting

3 When downshifting,When downshifting,

full use of thefull use of the

rational brain isrational brain is

suspended and moresuspended and morecontrol is given tocontrol is given to

our lower brainsour lower brains

3 We react usingWe react using

emotional reasoning,emotional reasoning,protecting ourselvesprotecting ourselves

from perceivedfrom perceived

threatsthreats


9/37

Human Instinctive Drift


10/37

Fight or Flight Reactions

3 Fight or flight reactions are the physiologicalFight or flight reactions are the physiologicalchanges we undergo when we perceive achanges we undergo when we perceive a

threat or attack from others.threat or attack from others.


11/37

Cause of Empathy Fatigue

3 When hyper-arousal occurs duringWhen hyper-arousal occurs duringprolonged or chronic stress.prolonged or chronic stress.

3 There is an excessive release of stressThere is an excessive release of stress

hormones and neurotransmitters.hormones and neurotransmitters.

3 Internalizing the stress reaction doesntInternalizing the stress reaction doesntbring the resolution of fighting or fleeingbring the resolution of fighting or fleeing

and can lead to illness.and can lead to illness.

3 During prolonged or chronic stress,During prolonged or chronic stress,

hyper-arousal becomes a way of lifehyper-arousal becomes a way of lifeor normal.or normal.

3 We are in a constant state of fatigueWe are in a constant state of fatigue


12/37

React Vs.RespondReact Vs.Respond


13/37

React Vs. Respond

3 To React is to:To React is to:

be driven by motivations outside of awarenessbe driven by motivations outside of awareness

have an attachment to the outcomehave an attachment to the outcome

act based on assumptions or point of viewact based on assumptions or point of view

act before the other person has even finishedact before the other person has even finished

their sentencetheir sentence

feel subjected to a feeling or compelled tofeel subjected to a feeling or compelled toaction in answer to somethingaction in answer to something


14/37

React Vs. Respond

3 Easier to react as it takes less immediateEasier to react as it takes less immediateeffort on our brains parteffort on our brains part

3 A reaction is instinctive, automatic andA reaction is instinctive, automatic and

based on the perception of threatbased on the perception of threat

3 Often we react when a dissatisfaction hasOften we react when a dissatisfaction has

built to the point of explosionbuilt to the point of explosion

3 We are more reactive when tired, sick orWe are more reactive when tired, sick orwhen our buttons are pushedwhen our buttons are pushed


15/37

React Vs. Respond

3 To Respond is to:To Respond is to:

act or behave in answer to something with choiceact or behave in answer to something with choice

act consciously using objectivityact consciously using objectivity

choose to be fully present to whats happeningchoose to be fully present to whats happening

have no immediate concern about the outcomehave no immediate concern about the outcome

have a willingness to hear what is being said, sohave a willingness to hear what is being said, sowhen the other person is finished speaking, you canwhen the other person is finished speaking, you canrespond from a place of wanting to find a resolutionrespond from a place of wanting to find a resolution

and the other person feels like they were understood.and the other person feels like they were understood.


16/37

React Vs. Respond

ReactReact RespondRespondKnee jerkKnee jerk ConsideredConsidered

Fear/Anger-basedFear/Anger-based CenteredCentered

AnxiousAnxious CalmCalm

Short TermShort Term Long TermLong Term

I winI win Nobody LosesNobody Loses

RushedRushed PoisedPoised

HabitualHabitual CreativeCreative

Quick fixQuick fix CureCure

Few optionsFew options Many optionsMany options

One-dimensionalOne-dimensional Whole personWhole person

UnsureUnsure KnowledgeableKnowledgeable


17/37

React Vs. Respond

3 If you are willing to refocus away fromIf you are willing to refocus away fromemotional reactions, you can put yourself in aemotional reactions, you can put yourself in a

response mode.response mode.

3 Responding takes more effort.Responding takes more effort.

3 Responding forces us to grow and acceptResponding forces us to grow and accept

responsibility for our behaviour,responsibility for our behaviour,

3 However, communication and relationships areHowever, communication and relationships are

improved,improved,3 A response adds to what has already been saidA response adds to what has already been said

or done, but there is usually no drive oror done, but there is usually no drive or

pressure to make the response.pressure to make the response.


18/37

Non Defensive

Communication andYour Reacting Style

Non Defensive

Communication andYour Reacting Style


19/37

Non-DefensiveCommunication3 We use defensive behaviours when we areWe use defensive behaviours when we are

under attack by othersunder attack by others

3 It is normal and natural for us to becomeIt is normal and natural for us to become

defensive when the attack is realdefensive when the attack is real

3 However, there are times when we areHowever, there are times when we aredefensive when there is no direct attackdefensive when there is no direct attack

3 We are defensive because we perceive anWe are defensive because we perceive an

attackattack


20/37

Non-DefensiveCommunication3 Reactions to defensive behaviours in othersReactions to defensive behaviours in others

are:are:

3 Avoidance behavioursAvoidance behaviours

shut downshut down

stifle our initiativestifle our initiative

fight back with passive aggressionfight back with passive aggression

3 Meet defensiveness with defensivenessMeet defensiveness with defensiveness

take an opposing positiontake an opposing position attack the other personattack the other person


21/37

Non-DefensiveCommunication3 Reacting StylesReacting Styles

Used when stress is excessiveUsed when stress is excessive

Natural reaction to help us cope withNatural reaction to help us cope with

conflict or stressconflict or stress

Essential outlets to relieve stressEssential outlets to relieve stress

Tend to impair relationships with othersTend to impair relationships with others

Habitual use will greatly reduce ourHabitual use will greatly reduce our

effectiveness with otherseffectiveness with others


22/37

Reacting Style Behaviour

3 Reactive behaviour as opposed to responsiveReactive behaviour as opposed to responsivebehaviourbehaviour

3 Indicates that the person is under excessive stressIndicates that the person is under excessive stress

3 Reactions come from the need to protect oneselfReactions come from the need to protect oneself

3 Makes interpersonal problem solving, orMakes interpersonal problem solving, ornegotiation, impossiblenegotiation, impossible

3 Need to recognize when others are reactingNeed to recognize when others are reacting

3 Need to recognize when you are reactingNeed to recognize when you are reacting


23/37

Reacting Styles

3 There are four styles which help manage excessive tension:There are four styles which help manage excessive tension:

Driving Style - AutocratDriving Style - Autocrat

manages excessive tension by controlling people withmanages excessive tension by controlling people with

facts, logic, and reasonfacts, logic, and reason

Expressive Style - AttackerExpressive Style - Attacker manages excessive tension by controlling people withmanages excessive tension by controlling people with

emotions and feelingsemotions and feelings

Amiable Style - AcquiescerAmiable Style - Acquiescer

manages excessive tension by giving in to peoplemanages excessive tension by giving in to people

Analytical Style - AvoiderAnalytical Style - Avoider

manages excessive tension by limiting his or hermanages excessive tension by limiting his or her

exposure to peopleexposure to people


24/37

AVOID

(ANALYTICAL)

ACQUIESCER

(AMIABLE)

AUTOCRAT

(DRIVER)

ATTACKER

(EXPRESSIVE)

EMOTE

ASK TELL

CONTROL

Low HighAssertiveness

High

Re

sp

ons

ive

ne

ss

Low

Coping or Reacting Styles


25/37

What is Your ReactingStyle?


26/37

Non-DefensiveCommunication3 The challenge is:The challenge is:

to know when we are in our Reacting Styleto know when we are in our Reacting Style

to know when others are in their Reactingto know when others are in their Reacting

Style and not react to itStyle and not react to it

to accept it as normal and naturalto accept it as normal and natural

to keep from making it habitualto keep from making it habitual

to work to minimize itto work to minimize it

to keep from triggering backup behaviour into keep from triggering backup behaviour inothersothers


27/37

Non-DefensiveCommunication Exercise

3 Write out a client conflict situation.Write out a client conflict situation.

Based on a past, present or recurringBased on a past, present or recurring

problem / conflict.problem / conflict.

3 Identify:Identify:

what goes/went wrongwhat goes/went wrong

what is/was the objective of the discussionwhat is/was the objective of the discussion

what might be/have been done differentlywhat might be/have been done differently


28/37

Tips for BuildingResilience

Tips for BuildingResilience


29/37

What is Mindfulness?3

Mindfulness is a way of developing greater awareness andMindfulness is a way of developing greater awareness andcontrol of habitual negative thought patterns, and automaticcontrol of habitual negative thought patterns, and automatic

emotional, physiological and behavioral reactions.emotional, physiological and behavioral reactions.

3 Mindfulness is about the stance you take to all that occurs,Mindfulness is about the stance you take to all that occurs,

the easy and the difficult.the easy and the difficult.

3 Allowing, not avoiding, the difficult mental states does notAllowing, not avoiding, the difficult mental states does not

mean liking them, or condoning them, or being passivelymean liking them, or condoning them, or being passivelyresigned to them.resigned to them.

3 Mindfulness is a way of responding to stress rather thanMindfulness is a way of responding to stress rather than

reacting to it.reacting to it.

3 Mindfulness is not about achieving a blissed-out state, or anMindfulness is not about achieving a blissed-out state, or an

empty mind, or peace of mind.empty mind, or peace of mind.


30/37


31/37

Breathing and Mindfulness

Follow Breath

RegainAwareness

GetDistracted

Th Mi B hi


32/37

Three Minute BreathingSpace3 Complete the following 3 steps with acceptance andComplete the following 3 steps with acceptance and3 without judgment:without judgment:

3 Step One: Focus awareness on the range of internalStep One: Focus awareness on the range of internal

experiences happening right nowexperiences happening right now

include body sensationsinclude body sensations

notice thoughts and emotional statesnotice thoughts and emotional states

3 Step Two: Focus full attention on the movement andStep Two: Focus full attention on the movement and

sensations of breathingsensations of breathing

3 Step Three: Expand awareness to the body as a wholeStep Three: Expand awareness to the body as a whole

including posture and facial expressionincluding posture and facial expression notice the sensations that are presentnotice the sensations that are present


33/37

Tips for Building Resilience

3 DoDo

Find someone to talk toFind someone to talk to

Understand that the pain you feel isUnderstand that the pain you feel is

normalnormal

Start exercising and eating properlyStart exercising and eating properly

Get enough sleepGet enough sleep

Take some time offTake some time off

Develop interests outside of yourDevelop interests outside of your

professionprofession

Identify what's important to youIdentify what's important to you


34/37

Tips for Building Resilience

3 Don't:Don't:

Blame othersBlame others

Look for a new job, buy a new car, get aLook for a new job, buy a new car, get a

divorce or have an affairdivorce or have an affair Fall into the habit of complaining with yourFall into the habit of complaining with your

colleaguescolleagues

Pick a fight with a co-workerPick a fight with a co-worker

Work harder and longerWork harder and longer

Self-medicateSelf-medicate

Neglect your own needs and interestsNeglect your own needs and interests

Ti f M i Diffi lt


35/37

Tips for Managing DifficultClients3 Remember to breathe!Remember to breathe!

3 Be conscious of the tendency to react to theBe conscious of the tendency to react to theemotion being expressed. Choose instead toemotion being expressed. Choose instead torespond mindfully to the situationrespond mindfully to the situation

3 Be aware of the limits of your ability to help,Be aware of the limits of your ability to help,and develop the capacity to recognize whenand develop the capacity to recognize whenyou have reached those limitsyou have reached those limits

3

Develop awareness of what triggers you toDevelop awareness of what triggers you todownshift words, tones, etc. Learn todownshift words, tones, etc. Learn torecognize when its happening so you canrecognize when its happening so you canbring yourself out of itbring yourself out of it

Ti f M i Diffi lt


36/37

Tips for Managing DifficultClients3 Learn to accept what you do and do not haveLearn to accept what you do and do not have

control overcontrol over

3 Learn techniques for de-personalizationLearn techniques for de-personalization

3 Recognize when your ability to empathize isRecognize when your ability to empathize isleading to being taken advantage of by a clientleading to being taken advantage of by a client

3 Understand that sometimes being compassionateUnderstand that sometimes being compassionate

means saying no. While you can understand andmeans saying no. While you can understand and

acknowledge a persons difficulty, it is not youracknowledge a persons difficulty, it is not yourresponsibility to carry it for themresponsibility to carry it for them


37/37

learning your own resilience

Documents