Lesson 9Objective: To practise an imaginative organisation technique we can use in descriptive writing. (AF1, AF3)

Writing to Describe:Words from Pictures

StarterYou should all have a hand out which looks like this.

As we read through the four paragraphs together,

fill in the topic of each paragraph

and make a note of any imaginative techniques you spot in them.

For example, in the first line is says, “the River, a liquid knife.” This is a metaphor which makes the river sound dangerous.

The river, a liquid knife, sliced its way through the rainforest. A mirror of molten meandering metal, it wound its way onward to the distant sea. The jungle watched, warily, yet allowed it to pass by safely.

Paragraph 1

Paragraph 2In a clearing, the head of one tree pierced the roof of the canopy. Isolated, lonely, like a massive pillar. Its roots are an octopus, hungrily searching out water.

Paragraph 3Its transparent leaves are waxy green feathers which dance in the breath of the wind. Rain water falls from them to the greedy roots below.

Paragraph 4

A metallic blue bug, its carapace the colour of traffic lights, scuttles across the veined surface of the leaf, anxious to avoid predators.

Carapace=hard upper shell

• If I choose you for

feedback, tell me the

technique you spotted.

• Then try and tell me

the effect the

technique has on you

not just the name of the technique.

Question

Telescoping

So why are we learning this?•Writing AF1: Write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts•You have to show across a range of writing

•Telescoping is a technique you can use in lots of different styles of writing to show off your imagination.•It also helps you structure your work (AF3) and use excellent vocabulary (AF7) to show you can write in the correct style (AF2)

bronze Silver Gold platinumRelevant ideas and material

developed with some

imaginative detail

Imaginative treatment of appropriate materials

Imaginative and generally

successful

Creative…distinctive …

imaginative…style matched to intended effect

Your Turn•Flip over your piece of paper•You are now going to write four imaginative paragraphs describing four images.•Try and use some of the techniques we’ve discussed so far in the unit.•Pens at the ready.

Paragraph 1: The Mountains/Clouds/Sky

Paragraph 2: The Desert

Paragraph 3: The Cactus

Paragraph 4: The Scorpion

Plenary:Peer Assessment

• Swap work with the person next to you.

• Read the work you are given and fill in the right hand column by making notes on the techniques they’ve used.

• (Just like you did with the example at the start)

Finally…At the bottom of the page, give them a medal (tell them what they did well)Then, give them a mission (Tell them what could have been better)Fill in your name

Feedback• Before you give the

work back, I want you to explain to your partner what was good and what they could do to improve.

• Then, give them their work back.

• Any volunteers to read out their work?

• Glue sheets in