lesson plan 7 how to take control & feel heardcontrol of butterflies they feel inside so they...

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Lesson Plan 7 How to Take Control & Feel Heard

Objective

A key philosophy embedded in our program is the importance of using kids’ language for kids’ problems.

Rather than talking about words like “anxiety” or “stress”, we use the word “butterflies” – a friendlier

term that kids can connect with. This session helps students take control of butterflies they feel inside so

they feel more in control of their emotions.

This session also gets students talking about those fictional stories they sometimes create in their mind.

They get a chance to put a voice to what they are feeling by describing their butterflies and sharing their

stories. With the understanding that, “People start to heal the moment they feel heard,” students are

also taught how to be active, empathetic listeners – an important attribute in a friend.

The key outcomes in this lesson include:

G Students will recognize that feeling butterflies (e.g. anxiety) is normal.

G Students will be able to categorize their butterflies into ones they can control versus ones they cannot control. With the butterflies they cannot control, students will learn the importance of releasing them. With the butterflies they can control, students will be able to make a plan for each one to tame it and feel more in control.

G Students will be able to describe the ‘Worse Case Scenario’ technique for managing butterflies.

G Students will be able to differentiate between stories they made up versus what’s real and describe the importance of putting a stop to those ‘Movies in our Mind’.

G Students will be able to demonstrate active listening.

G Students will share their stories and put a voice to how they are feeling.

G Through the Friendology Project (sharing highs & lows with their family), students will open up the lines of communication with their family and recognize that even though we all have good days and bad days, there is something positive in every day!

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Materials

Each session requires a computer, projector, and a screen to display the slideshow. Some sessions also require internet access. You will need:

Facilitator’s Guide Folders & pencils

Session 7 Slideshow & Teaching Notes Post-it Notes

Box (or something similar) for the Interview a Mentor entry forms

Music!

Before the next session:

Review Lesson Plan 8 – How to Remember URSTRONG

Copy enough handouts for the students

Organize a prize for the Interview a Mentor draw

Finalize and prepare your Looking into Your Sole project

Round up colorful markers (one per student)

Prepare certificates for each student

Teaching Notes

Copyright © 2016 URSTRONG ^&All Rights Reserved. &Written by Dana Kerford. &www.urstrong.com

A key philosophy embedded in our program is the importance of using kids’ language for kids’ problems. Rather than talking about words like “anxiety” or “stress”, we use the word “butterflies” – a friendlier term that kids can connect with. This session helps students take control of butterflies they feel inside so they feel more in control of their emotions. This session also gets students talking about those fictional stories they sometimes create in their mind. They get a chance to put a voice to what their feeling by describing their butterflies and sharing their stories. With the understanding that, “People start to heal the moment they feel heard,” students are also taught how to be active, empathetic listeners – an important attribute in a friend.

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Teaching Notes


Ask the students, “How did your Friendology Project go? Did you do 5 acts of kindness online? What did you notice? How did you feel doing it?” Remind the students that next session is the final session. Remind them to get in their ‘Interview a Mentor’ draw and to finish their “soles”!

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Teaching Notes


To get a sense of where the kids are at, ask them this question: “When you think about doing something for the first time, what thoughts/feelings/questions come to mind?” Explain that we call those feelings, “butterflies”. Note: Kids these days have been exposed to the word, “anxiety”, which is a big, scary, adult word. We want kids to reframe their thinking by naming these butterflies. Butterflies are friendly and can be tamed.

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Teaching Notes


Make a T-Chart with “I can control” and “I cannot control” either on the board or chart paper. Say to the kids, “Okay, I want you to imagine standing up to someone for the very first time. Raise your hand and tell me a butterfly that comes to your mind.” Alternatively, you can give them each one sticky note and get them to write their butterfly down. Get them to share their butterflies with you. After each one, say, “Is this is butterfly you can control or not control?” Write each one down in the appropriate column (or, if using sticky notes, place the sticky notes in the appropriate column). If there is a butterfly that can kind of be controlled, place it on the line in the middle. Here are a few examples: B “I’m worried the other person won’t like me anymore.” ‘No control’ because you can’t

control how other people react! B “I feel nervous that I might say something I shouldn’t!” ‘Control’ because you are in

charge of yourself and this takes self-discipline! B “What if, when I stand up to them, they lie about it.” ‘No control’ because you can’t

control them. B “I’m always smiley and I’m afraid I’m going to smile when I do it.” ‘Control’ because you

are in charge of your body language.

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Teaching Notes


Now that you’ve categorized the butterflies, go through the ones that you can control and get the kids to come up with ways to tame them and make them better. For instance, if they’re worried they might smile, maybe they could practice getting comfortable with assertive body language. Come up with a plan for each butterfly that they can control. For the butterflies they cannot control, tell them you want them to set them free. Say, “Worrying about things you cannot control is wasted energy!” If using sticky notes, read each of them, crumple them up and throw them away to show that you are setting them free. For example, if they’re worried that the other person won’t like them, say, “Well, this is something you have no control over, so why waste another second worrying about it!?! In a healthy, true friendship you will put out the Fire and talk-it-out.” Remind the students that life has a way of working itself out. Say to them, “Pull the oars in and let the current take you!” – a great quote from the book, End the Struggle and Dance with Life, by Susan Jeffers.

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Teaching Notes


Often we create stories in our heads of things that haven’t even happened (and may never even happen). We live in our mind. Get the kids to share a movie that they’ve been playing in their mind about standing up to someone. Help them understand that we sometimes have a tendency to create very elaborate stories about situations that haven’t even happened and get ourselves all worked up for no reason. Teach the kids to “End Scene!” when they notice that they’re creating a movie in their mind (an effective Cognitive Behavioral Therapy technique called, Thought-Stopping). Suggestion: Get the kids to create their own clapboard slate that movie directors use to “end scene” during film production.

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Teaching Notes


Ask them, “What movie do you think she might be making up?” Link this back to the Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy scenario.

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Teaching Notes


This technique is especially effective with kids who suffer from anxiety. Ask them: “What is the worst that could happen?” Getting them to immediately come up with a plan for their Worst-Case Scenario will help them calm the butterflies. Remind them to always sort the butterflies when coming up with their Worst-Case Scenario, then come up with a plan for the butterflies they can control. Show the video of Joy from the movie Inside-Out preparing for all the ‘negative outcomes’ on the first day of school. u Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whwyu09a8KE

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whwyu09a8KE

Teaching Notes


Explain that you’re going to spend the rest of the session sharing stories and the kids will get a chance to share anything that’s been on their mind. Ask them, “What does a good listener look like?” Talk to them about active listening and how to show with their body language that they care about what the person is saying.

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Teaching Notes


Explain to students there’s a great quote that states, “People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” Tell them that their stories matter and sometimes just ‘getting it out’ is all they need! Give them a chance to ask questions, share stories, and open up about how they’re feeling. Some kids are desperate to share stories and some kids take a lot of prompting to open up. For this portion of the session, consider your environment to ensure it’s a comfortable space for them to “chat” and feel at ease. You could even consider having music on in the background to create a more informal, relaxed atmosphere. A few suggestions include: B Let the kids sprawl out on the floor with comfy with pillows B Head outside and lay out a blanket under a tree B Get ‘special permission’ to hang out in the staff room If your students are having a hard time opening up and sharing, here are a few leading questions : B “Last session we talked about tricky situations. Does anyone have another tricky situation

they’ve experienced that we haven’t talked about?” B “Today we talked about butterflies. Does anyone want to share a situation that’s giving them

butterflies?” B “We’ve talked a lot about Friendship Fires. Does anyone want to share a Friendship Fire

they’re currently having?” B “Does anyone want to share a story about the toughest Friendship Fire they’ve ever had?”

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Teaching Notes


Explain that their final Friendology Project involves their family. They need to teach their family how to do “Highs and Lows!” and do it with them every night at supper time. Explain that a “high” is the best part of the day and a “low” is the worst part. Get them to explain to their family that each person has to share one high and one low for the day. The back story: We do this every night with our children, Reggie & Ruby. They look forward to sharing the good and not-so-good parts of their days and it leads to really interesting conversations. It’s become one of our family traditions! Remind them they finally get to bring their “Looking into Your Sole” projects to the next session and it’s their last chance to enter the “Interview a Mentor” draw!

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lesson plan 7 how to take control & feel heardcontrol of butterflies they feel inside so they...

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