LessonsfromaFormerDeanofFreshmenatStanfordUniversityBeingaParent,Mentor,andCoach

PreparingYourChildforSuccess

Whatwe’vetaughtourchildren

• Nottotalktostrangers

Whattheymustbeabletodooncetheystart

college

• Talktofaculty,deans,andadvisors• Thisskillwillhelpthemknowhowtoapproachcollegestaffwhocanhelp,guide,anddirectthem.

PreparingYourChildforSuccessWhatwe’vedoneforour

children

• Drovethemeverywhere!

Whattheymustbeabletodooncetheystart

college

• Findtheirwayaroundcampusandtheirnewcity

PreparingYourChildforSuccessWhatwe’vedoneforour

children

• Remindedthemoftheirhomeworkdeadlines• Sometimeshelpedthemwiththeirassignments

Whattheymustbeabletodooncetheystart

college

• Manageassignments,workloads,anddeadlines

PreparingYourChildforSuccessWhatwe’vedoneforour

children

• Steppedinwhenthingsgotdifficultandtalkedtothe“adults”forthem

Whattheymustbeabletodooncetheystart

college

• Copewiththeupsanddownsofcollege-levelwork,competition,andtoughteachers

PreparingYourChildforSuccessWhatwe’vedoneforour

children

• Laidouttheirentirepathandpreventedstumblingblocks

Whattheymustbeabletodooncetheystart

college

• Mustbeabletotakerisks

Reference• Lythcott-Haims,J.(2015).Howtoraiseanadult:Breakfreeoftheoverparentingtrapandprepareyourkidforsuccess.NewYork,NY:HenryHoltandCompany

TheRhythmofCollegeLifeIssuesthataffectourstudents

SUMMERCommonIssues••Questionsonsubmittinghealthformsandhousingapplications,meetingadministrativedeadlines

••Gettingthe“perfectclassschedule”••Meetingroommate(s)••Whattobringtocampus••Lastminutequestionsaboutpayingforcollege

WhattoExpect••Feelingoverwhelmed,yetexcited••Worriedaboutleavinghighschoolfriends

Tips••Encourageyourstudenttoaskquestionsifheorshedoesn’tunderstandorneedsclarification

FirstYearExperienceTheme-Welcome

SEPTEMBERCommonIssues• Fittinginandthetransitionfromhighschooltocollege• Homesickness• Adjustingtoadministrative‘redtape’• Findingon-campusjobs• Classroometiquette

WhattoExpect• Testingoflimits,boundaries• ExperimentationTips• Helpyourstudentmakegooddecisions• Encourageyourstudenttousecampusresources• Encourageyourstudenttoestablishrelationshipwithacademicadvisor• Makeafinancialplananddiscussspendingexpectations

FirstYearExperienceTheme-GetInvolved

SEPTEMBER

ConversationStarters

Whatclassesaremostinterestingtoyou?

Haveyoufoundagoodplacetostudy?Where?

OCTOBERCommonIssues

• Midtermgrades–realityhassetin!• Questionsaboutbelonging/valuesexploration• Roommateconflicts• Disenchantmentwithschool

WhattoExpect• FallBreak(noclasses),October7-10• FamilyWeekend,October20-21

Tips• Suggestgettinginvolvedoncampus• Encourageyourstudenttomaintaina‘healthybalance’,getaflushot• Timetoscheduleanappointmentwithanacademicadvisor• Seektutoring

FirstYearExperienceTheme-BeSmart

OCTOBER

ConversationStarters

Whatcanyoudodifferentlyonyournexttestorpapertoearnanevenbettergrade?

Whendoyouplantomeetwithyourprofessorsduringtheirofficehours?

Whateventshaveyouattended?

NOVEMBERCommonIssues

• Increasedresponsibilitiesandfeelingoverwhelmed• Timemanagementissues• Moneymanagement(ex.FlexPoints)• Feelingcomfortableoncampus,trustingtheirneighbors.Thisiswhenstudentsaren’tasawareoftheirsurroundings.

WhattoExpect

• RegistrationforWinter/Spring/Summer2018classes• Homecoming,November4• Anxietyand/orexcitementaboutThanksgivingBreak(November22-26)

Tips

• MakeplansfortransportationhomeforThanksgivingBreak• Discussanyexpectationsorrulesthatmayhavechangedsincehighschool

FirstYearExperienceTheme-TakeResponsibility

NOVEMBER

ConversationStarters

Whatclassesareyouthinkingoftakinginthespring?

Areyoustayingwithinyourbudget?

Howareyoumanagingstress?

DECEMBERCommonIssues

• Financialworries• Healthissues• Questioningofmajororcareerchoiceandwhethertheyshouldreturnnextsemester

WhattoExpect

• Classesend(December8)• FinalExams(December9-15)• Visitinghighschoolfriends• Extendedholidaybreak;whatitmeanstoyourfamilyandyourstudent

Tips

• Findstudygroupsandgettutoring

FirstYearExperienceTheme-FinishStrong

DECEMBER

ConversationStarters

Whatareyoudoingtostaywellduringfinals?

Whichexamsareyoumostworriedabout?

WhatcouldIsendyoutomakeyoufeelbetter?

Whatdoyouwanttodoathomeduringbreak?

JANUARYCommonIssues

• Afreshstart,newcommitmenttostudyingandsettingnewgoals• Possiblechangeinlivingarrangements• Majorandcareerchanges

WhattoExpect

• Classesbegin(January6)• NewYear’sresolutions• ReincorporatingsocialandacademiclifeTips• DiscussapplyingforfinancialaidbytheFebruaryprioritydeadline(FAFSArenewalcanbefiledasearlyasOctober)

FirstYearExperienceTheme-Reconnect

JANUARY

ConversationStarters

Whatareyoudoingdifferentlywithyourstudyingthissemester?

Tellmeaboutyourgoodfriendsoncampus.

FEBRUARY-MARCHCommonIssues

• Cabinfever,feelingrestless• Stayinghealthy• Valentine’sDay

WhattoExpect

• Earlyalertgrades• Roommateselection,signingofaleasefor2018• Springbreak(March5-10)

Tips

• Encourageyourstudenttoseeanacademicadvisorearly• Remindyourstudentaboutreturnhousing,ifapplicable

FirstYearExperienceThemes-GotoWorkandHealthyChoices

FEBRUARY-MARCH

ConversationStarters

Whatareyourplansforspringbreak?

Haveyoulearnedofanynewclubsororganizationsthatyou’dliketojoin?Tellmeaboutthem.

Tellmeaboutyourfitnessanddietplans.

Lookingback,howdoyouthinkyou’vechangedthisyear?

Whatareyoulookingforwardtoinyoursophomoreyear?

APRIL-MAYCommonIssues• ClassregistrationforSummerand/orFall2018• Springfever• Thepaceofactivitieshasincreasedandstudentsfeelbombardedwithupcomingdecisions

• Summerplans;leavingtheircollegefriends• Financialconcerns

WhattoExpect• Classesend(April23);FinalExams(April25-May2)• Questionsaboutmajorsandcareers• Questionsaboutreturninghome,fittingin• Questionsaboutreturninghome,fittingin boundariesTips• Talktoyourstudentaboutmanagingstress• Discusssummeroptionswithyourstudent

FirstYearExperienceThemes-BeGlobalandCelebrateSuccess

SUMMERREADINGLIST

• You’reOnYourOwn(ButI’mHereifYouNeedMe)byM.Savage

• EmptyNest…FullHeart:TheJourneyfromHometoCollegebyA.VanSteenhouse

• I’llMissYouToo:AnOff-To-CollegeGuideforParentsandStudentsbyM.WoodacreBaneandS.Bane

• LettheJourneyBegin:AParent’sMonthlyGuidetotheCollegeExperiencebyJ.KiernanMacKayandW.JohnsonIngram

• WhenKidsGotoCollege:AParentsGuidetoChangingRelationshipsbyB.NewmanandP.Newman

• AlmostGrown:LaunchingYourChildfromHighSchooltoCollegebyP.Pasick

QUESTIONS?

• YournextsessionbeginsinafewminutesandfeaturesODUfromaStudentPerspective.